The Breaking Point
by Eriksangelofmusic4ever
Summary: What if Christine never went to see Erik the night before she was wed? What if Gustave was never born? This is a story about forgiveness and how ten years can change someone...Dark Erik/ Christine as always
1. Chapter 1

**So this is a new story I just thought of. I'm good for updating every other day, but until my latest story is completed, this shall only be updated as often as I can. My latest story should be completed within a week's time. So enjoy.**

**What if Christine never went back to Erik on that night just before she was wed? What if Gustave was never born? **

"_**The Breaking Point"**_

"_Monsters; they are not always ugly_

_They are not always mean_

_But they do horrible things_

_From time to time_

_This, I have seen…." _

- Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae…

**Christine's POV**

_Have you ever dreamed what you wanted your life to turn out as, only to have it become the complete opposite? This is exactly how my supposed to be wonderful life became. Ever since my father "Gustave Daae" died when I was eight, I have been on my own. Well, not completely on my own, I had my angel of music, my muse, my everything, my Erik. Oh, that name, that wonderful name has stayed in my mind all these years even after the tragedy he caused was long forgotten about._

_It's hard to explain everything that has happened between the both of us, even now; ten whole years since I last seen or heard from him. I still to this day have not a single clue on his whereabouts, the condition of his health, or if he is even still breathing a single breath. Though, that does not mean I haven't thought about him at least five minutes out of everyday since that night. That night, that horrible night. How could I forget the sight of burning candles, or the stench of death mixed in with the expensive cologne that he always piled on his skeletal body? The wedding gown I had been forced in to was soaked in my hot tears, and Raoul could been seen from a distance struggling to remove the noose that was tightly wrapped around his neck. _

_Erik was begging me to marry him or else Raoul was going to die. I never thought in a million years that my angel of music, my everything, felt the way he did for me. Why me? Why did he love me? I was a nobody. It was he who had made me the famous diva I was. I didn't deserve or want his love. I had torn off his mask just months ago to find out what my angel truly looked like, only to scream at the twisted and discolored flesh that laid beneath it. He was hideous! He was a monster! His eyes were two different shades of blue, sunken into two deep dark sockets. _

"_The love of an angel is all poor Erik asks for!" he dropped to his lanky knees, and kissed the hem of my white dress, his tears soaking the lacy fabric._

"_I cannot love you, Erik." I pulled my skirts away from him. "For I love another."_

"_But Erik could show you what love really is." he pulled my skirts back, only to place his twisted and cold bloated lips upon the tops of my feet. I wasn't wearing any shoes! The ground beneath my toes was cold, but Erik's lips were like ice. His moist kiss caused me to shiver, and I pulled away._

_How could I possibly find it in my heart to love this man? I loved him as a teacher, a friend, and a father figure. How could I ever get past that, let alone his hideous face._

"_Erik is sorry! Erik does not know how to kiss anything. Even his own mother didn't want to kiss him." he cried into his boney hands, as I stood there feeling terrible for this man, this human being who never had an ounce of love given to him. _

"_I can't love you." Erik's tears only poured faster upon hearing this. "I love Raoul. I love him, Erik. Are you listening to me? I love him, and always loved him."_

"_But Erik loves you more! Erik can show Christine the love she never knew existed. I could compose, and you sing. Our marriage would be beautiful and filled with music. Our life…." he grabbed my hand with his tear soaked one, but didn't dare kiss it. "Our life would be beautiful…"_

_I wouldn't dare look him in those mismatched eyes. My glance stayed down at our hands that were interlocked with one another's his over powering mine._

"_Our life together would be as beautiful as your face."_

_The life was knocked out of him after I said what I did. His hand fell from mine, and he backed away, only stopping when he hit the wall. His lanky body slunk down to his knees; no more tears fell, for there wasn't any left to fall. _

_He clenched his chest with one hand, and looked up at me, his face filled with such pain. _

"_G…go." _

_His voice was broken and filled with such hurt. I had hurt him, and I didn't even care. He let me go. I had gotten the freedom I so wanted, and took Raoul away. I left my angel there without even caring what happened to him. I didn't care because I had Raoul; the man I had loved since I was a child. He was my friend, lover, fiancée and soon to be husband. I was in love, my life almost complete. For weeks, I didn't think about Erik at all. Never once during my stay at the DeChagney estate did my angel ever come into mind. Perhaps it was because I was so busy with getting my wedding together. _

_This was my dream. This dream that I had always visited when I went to sleep. The same dream I thought about during my once long rehearsals at the opera house. Just Raoul and I on a beautiful day, getting married to one another, making love for the first time on our wedding night, a dog, then some children….Everything was going to come together so sweetly. My wedding had been a dream come true. How could I ever forget such a day? The red roses that lined the garden we were married in, the white arbor that matched my dress, Raoul's handsome face. The day was perfect, and I loved him with my whole heart. And with my hand in his, I vowed to love him till death do us part._

_The after party was marvelous and surrounded by Raoul's family. We danced, ate, danced some more, drank and indulged ourselves in laughter I never knew I had within me. For the first time in my life, I had a family, a husband and most of all, freedom. But my once wonderful dream was about to turn into a complete nightmare. I always dreamed that my first time making love would be filled with undying passion for the man I've loved since childhood. I wish I could say that's what if was full of, but I can't. I thought I loved Raoul more than anything, but when our bodies came together as one, I knew right then and there that our supposed undying love wasn't living at all. Though our love making was horrible, I stuck with him thinking that our love could still live. _

_By the end of our first year of marriage, I was no happier with my marriage than the night of our wedding. I had thought perhaps getting pregnant would make me happy, and so I suffered through endless nights of Raoul making love to my body. But no matter how many nights came and went, I found myself still without child. _

_Raoul's work had begun to steal him away from me. First a few hours at a time, and then a few days. When I was forced to stay home hour after hour all alone with just the servants and maids, I began to think about my life and how I had thought it would have turned out. On our sixth year of marriage, something began to change in the way my husband usually acted. His nights became later and later, and when he returned home, he would sleep the entire day. It was as if we were no longer married, as if I didn't exist. It was then for the first time since my marriage that I thought about Erik. I wondered where he was, and felt guilty for what I had said. Those horrible things I had said to him. All he ever did was love me, and I couldn't even find it in my own heart to provide him with a single word of kindness after everything he had done. _

_For a few more years, our marriage continued just like this, only getting deeper and deeper into darkness. He blamed me for never becoming pregnant, he blamed me every single day. This had driven him to drink, and soon turned him into a raging alcoholic. He even began to beat me when he would come home drunk. And out of my bruises came thoughts of Erik, and if only I could change everything. If only I could apologize to him for every little thing I had ever done. I didn't even say goodbye, I walked out of his life, the last words being the cruelest choice._

_But as all dreams come to an end, so do nightmares. I remember that day, the day my nightmare finally came to an end. It was the night after Raoul had given me the most horrible beating of our marriage yet. I sat there near the window holding a wet cloth against my bruised head. One of our servants came into the room I was sitting in, and handed me Raoul's mail. Usually the mail consisted of invites to parties and job offers, but today, only one letter arrived. It was a beat up envelope with many stamps plastered all over it and looked tarnished. I suspected it to be a dead letter, but what caught my eyes was when I noticed my name written across it in faded ink. _

_I never received mail, especially mail that was addressed to me and only me. Curious, I opened the letter as carefully as possible, and unfolded the fragile parchment. The ink was faded, but not enough to where I couldn't read it. _

"_**My dearest Christine,**_

_**So many nights I have waken to feel nothing but my pillow laying beside me. My heart is torn open and bleeding out from such pain you have left it in. After ten years of living on my own, I can finally say you were right. Our life would have been as hideous as my face. That phrase burns and burns within me each and every day. Since birth I had been alone, and unloved, and still, ten years later I am unloved. Never feeling a single kiss, the warm embrace of a hug, or the wonderful bliss of making love. Ten years ago, I left Paris, too heartbroken to stay. I moved on to the world's new playground, and built myself an empire. But even an empire couldn't keep my thoughts about you away. I promised myself I would never write you a single letter, and let you live your life, but this, this Christine is my breaking point. At least you can know that I am in pain, and I still love you and only you. Are you happy? Have you given birth to any of the DeChagney's children? I wish you nothing but the best my dear. Perhaps you were right after all, our life would have been as hideous as my face…**_

_**Forever yours**_

_**Erik."**_

_The phrase broke my heart. "Our life would only be as hideous as your face." It still burned within him, and it still hurt. I couldn't take this life any longer. I had to find Erik, and I needed to apologize for all I had done. Just because I didn't love him didn't mean that I couldn't give him a chance. Who knew, perhaps one day I would be able to say that I did. For now, I needed a friend who could shelter me from the horrible life I was living at the current moment. Raoul was gone again, out for the night, drinking and god knows what else. To sit here would be the death of me. Without a second thought, I packed a few things into a leather pack, and threw on my cloak before heading out into the foggy night. If there was one person who knew where Erik was, it was Madame Giry. I hadn't seen the woman in years, but knew she would be happy to see me again. _

_The night was quiet, and the only light was coming from the few street lamps that were on the cobble sidewalks. I passed the old condemned opera house, the same opera house where I had met my angel, performed on stage, and became the rising star that I was. It was Erik who had made me the star that I once was. When I arrived at the small flat Madame Giry lived in, I knocked, praying that she still lived here. A few moments later, the door opened, revealing a much older Madame Giry. Her green eyes met with mine, but she didn't recognize me due to the hood of my cloak that was covering my hair. _

"_May I help you?" she asked, raising her small candle that she held in her wrinkled hand._

_I pulled back my hood, and her eyes instantly lit up. _

"_Christine!" she threw her arms around me, pulling me close for a long awaited hug. "It's been so long. Please, come inside where it's warm."_

_Madame Giry pulled me into her flat, and ran over to her wood burning stove to put a kettle of water on._

"_I'll make us some tea. Then you can tell me all about what you've been up to."_

"_Really, Madame, I cannot stay long."_

_When she turned to me again, she gasped at the sight of my bruises that were scattered all over my face. _

"_Christine?" her hands softly ran over each one, wondering in silence where I obtained them._

"_It was Raoul." I murmured, embarrassed that my husband had given me such marks._

"_You can stay as long as you like. You're like family to me."_

_She turned around and tended to the whistling tea kettle that was boiling on the stove. She thought I was here to stay. She thought I had come to her in hopes to get away from Raoul. _

"_I'm not here for shelter." I said. "I'm here because I need to know the whereabouts of a certain someone."_

_Madame Giry poured me a cup of tea, and softy laughed. "I know hardly anyone besides you and Meg."_

"_It's Erik I seek."_

_She paused in the middle of pouring her tea, dumbfounded on how I knew about her friendship with him._

"_You know as well as I that he passed away." she was trying to lie to me, and I didn't believe it._

"_I know he's not dead. He sent me a letter." I tore the envelope out of my bag, and showed it to Madame Giry. She read over it as if not believing it were really from him._

"_He told me he would never do it." she looked away from Erik's letter, tears falling from her eyes. "He told me that he would never try to contact you."_

"_Well, he did. Look, Madame, Raoul has been beating me senseless for four years. I've thought about Erik and the pain I've put him in."_

"_I will not tell you where he is. What you said to him all those years ago almost killed him, and I will not let it happen again. I love Erik just as much as I love you, and mothers protect their children, not put them in harm's way."_

"_Madame, I can promise you that I wish to seek Erik out to apologize to him. I won't put him in harms way ever again, this I promise you."_

"_But when you decided to leave him, if ever, it will hurt him, perhaps even kill him. He's better off without you, Christine."_

"_What if I promise to stay?" I blurted out._

_Madame Giry turned to me, her eyes seeping through my soul to find if I was lying or not._

"_You would stand here before me and promise such a thing? I don't believe a word, Christine, not for one minute do I believe you."_

"_Then let me prove it to you. Let me get to know Erik as a man, let me spend sometime with him. Just tell me where he is?"_

"_You really are serious aren't you?"_

_I nodded, hoping that she would help me._

"_I don't have an address for you. He doesn't put his address on the envelopes just encase they come into the wrong hands. I do know that he's in Coney Island."_

"_Coney what?" _

"_Coney Island.." _

_Madame Giry left me for a few moments, returning with a small wooden box. She placed it in my arms, and I opened it. Inside were a few letters and news paper articles about Coney Island. It was a marvelous playground on the other side of the world. In a city named "New York." _

"_Erik has sent me numerous things over the years. Candy, and different trinkets from Coney Island. He even sent me this."_

_She took out an envelope that held a one way ticket to Ellis Island._

"_Erik sent this to me years ago as a gift incase I wanted to come see him." she placed it in my hand. "I want you to have it. Coney Island is no place for an old woman."_

"_I can't accept it."_

"_Of course you can. You wanted to prove to Erik that you could give him a chance, now go on and prove it."_

_I hugged Madame Giry, and thanked her for the ticket. _

"_Thank you Madame, thank you."_

"_Thank me by not breaking Erik's heart. Now get a move on before you miss the midnight ship."_

_I finished my tea, and hurried to Calais to catch the ship that would bring me one step closer to Erik. I'm coming, Erik, this I promise you…._

* * *

_**Ok so that's the first chapter. Please let me know if I should continue it. The next chapter will be in Erik's POV**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone, thanks! **

* * *

"_I fell for the one dressed in sweet roses_

_It made me feel at home and loved…_

_A false sense of happiness, no doubt_

_You were an angel disguised as a woman_

_And I the devil in man's clothing…" - _Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_Ever since I could remember, my life has been filled with abuse and anything but love. My mother loathed me since the moment I emerged from her womb. What mother hates their own flesh and blood? Yes, I might have been hideous, but that did not mean that I couldn't love. All I have ever done was love. I loved my mother even though she couldn't love me back. Then there was my second love; animals. I loved animals because they didn't care what I looked like. They loved me back. My love for animals started when my mother screamed one afternoon because a black spider had crawled into her lap. She was going to squash it, but I stopped her and set it free outside in the garden. No matter how hideous a spider might be, even spiders have the right to mate. After I set the spider free, I began bringing all sorts of animals home. A rabbit with a broken leg, a bird with an injured wing, even a stray dog I named Sasha. _

_I never knew my real father. When ever I asked about him, my mother would tell me that he left us when he saw my face as an infant. For years I blamed myself for my father's disappearance, but soon found out that he died many months before I was born. As long as I could remember, my mother made me wear a mask. She never let me take it off, even to eat, and if I did, I received a horrible lashing. I wore the same felt mask from birth all the way up until the day I left home. The mask fit fine when I was a baby, but as I grew, the mask outgrew me, leaving my flesh with sores and a horrible rash. When I would bleed, my mother would beat me, and when I complained….well, one could only imagine the torture I would receive. _

_One night, the town's children came to my house, and threw stones at my attic window. I ignored them until my Sasha ran outside. Like monsters, they slaughtered my dog. I tried to stop them, but they beat me too. I was stabbed in the stomach five times, before the priest I was named after chased them off. I was carried inside, and placed on the sofa, my mother not even seeming to care that I was clinging onto life. _

_For a few months, my mother would leave me locked in the attic so she could go out. It didn't take long for me to find out that she was seeing a man….a doctor. She was so embarrassed by me that she locked me away when ever he came over. I would sit there in the attic, alone and crying, my ear placed to the door as I listened to the both of them. Some nights they would just talk. My mother was happy, she laughed….she never laughed around me. She was finally happy, and that's all that mattered. Other nights, they would make love. _

_It was like music to my ears. Sweet music that I could only wonder how to make. I was a musician, one who could master any instrument he got his hands on. One day, I asked my mother how such music was made, only to have her slap me across the face for hearing it, and told me that I will never ever make such music because no woman would ever want me. I was upset, but I knew she was right. At least she had her happiness._

_But on the night I lay dying on the sofa, my mother's lover came over and stitched me up. He helped me, and I didn't know why; my mother didn't want me to live. That night as I lay there resting from my surgery, I heard my mother and her lover arguing. They were arguing about me, and how he wouldn't marry her unless I was put into a asylum. I wouldn't! I wouldn't be put into an asylum! I wasn't crazy, and I refused to be housed with them. _

_After digging a grave for my Sasha, I ran away. I ran for miles, my stomach aching in agony from the stitches. For weeks I camped out in the woods, living in a stick and grass made shelter, living off roots and insects. But one evening, a band of gypsies arrived and captured me. For years I was their main attraction, my face being shown to paying customers by day, and being raped and whipped by my master at night. It stayed like this all the way until I was sixteen years old. The show came to Paris, and Madame Giry saw me being whipped. She came back and saved me, pulling my scarred and bruised body to the opera house where I, for the first time had a bath, a warm bed to sleep in and food in my stomach. I made the opera house my home. I gave myself the education I never had, I played on an old organ that I had repaired and brought down to my lair. For the first time in years, I was happy. But one thing was missing; I was alone. I grew from boy to man, in a playground that had become my own home. _

_I became known as the "Phantom of the Opera," requiring twenty thousand francs a month in order to keep the peace. That's when I came across the love of my life, my first and only love. She was a little girl crying in the chapel, wishing her angel of music would come. She was beautiful, an angel without wigs, glistening in candle light. I loved her, right from first sight. I answered her prayers, and taught her to sing within the shadows. Some nights I would sing her to sleep, and other nights she would sing me to sleep. She grew from a little angel into a beautiful woman, and my love for her only grew. With my help, and a little rule breaking, I had her become the rising diva Paris cherished. On the night of her opera debut, I revealed myself to her as the man I truly was. I brought her to my home, she slept in my bed! Oh, what a dream! But all dreams must come to an end, especially for me. She awoke, and like the curious vixen she was, tore away my mask. God! Her face, her beautiful face was full of fear. It broke my heart to see the one person I thought could be my savior, full of fear…I knew she could never love me, not now and not ever. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to make her try._

_But then there was her lover! Her precious little Viscount! That insolent boy who dared to steal what wasn't his! They kissed in the shadows, frolicked like little love stricken children! It hurt me! She tore out my heart and stomped on it! I wouldn't have this! I wouldn't let this happen! I wrote an opera and placed her as my main diva. I appeared on stage right in front of the audience and kidnapped her. This was my final plea! I took her down below to my lair, and forced her into the wedding gown I had made for her. My angel stood there crying in front of me, upset that I had tried to force her to love me. Soon, her lover came down to save her, and I threw a noose around his precious little neck. I stood before the only girl I ever loved, and forced her to make a choice. It was either to marry me or have her lover die. _

"_The love of an angel is all poor Erik asks for!" I sobbed and dropped to my knees, and kissed the hem of Christine's white dress, my tears soaking the lacy fabric._

"_I cannot love you, Erik." She pulled her skirts away from my lips. "For I love another."_

_What could I do to make her love me? I sobbed and poured my heart and soul out to her._

"_But Erik could show you what love really is." I pulled her skirts back to me, and placed my malformed lips over her bare feet. They were so soft, so beautiful. I was touching Christine; never had I ever touched a single part of her bare flesh. But my bliss soon ended when she pulled away from me. _

"_Erik is sorry! Erik does not know how to kiss anything. Even his own mother didn't want to kiss him." I cried into my boney hands, as she stood over me._

"_I can't love you." My tears poured harder upon hearing this. "I love Raoul. I love him, Erik. Are you listening to me? I love him, and always loved him."_

"_But Erik loves you more! Erik can show Christine the love she never knew existed. I could compose, and you sing. Our marriage would be beautiful and filled with music. Our life…." I grabbed her hand with my tear soaked one, but didn't dare kiss it. "Our life would be beautiful…"_

_And just like that, she looked down at me and said the most hurtful words I have ever heard._

"_Our life together would be as beautiful as your face."_

_What ever life I had left in me was knocked from my chest right then and there. Those words, those hurtful words. How was it possible for my angel to even say such a thing?_

_My heart hurt with such agony. My angel, my love was rejecting me! I clenched my chest and looked up at her, no fight left within me._

"_G…go." _

_Instantly, my angel ran from me. She didn't even care that I was letting her go. She left with her boy, without even a goodbye. I cried, oh, how I cried for her. I dropped to my knees and clenched the veil that had fallen from Christine's head. The mob was coming, and I had to escape. I wanted to die, but I knew if I gave myself to the mob, my body would be tortured and put on display. For hours I stumbled around the streets only to fall into the care of Madame Giry. She took me into her home, caring for me as she once did when I was young. For days I laid there in a bed, suffering from my weak heart, and missing Christine. I couldn't stay here any longer. Christine plagued my mind like a disease. I dreamed about her, I dreamed of marrying her, I dreamed of holding her in my arms as I slept. I knew by staying in Paris it would only kill me. So, once I was back on my feet, Madame Giry and her young daughter, Meg snuck me to Calais to sneak me on a vessel headed to America. _

_The ship ride was hell; a month of vomiting into a chamber pot and pure boredom. As if the ride wasn't hard enough for me, when our ship docked in Ellis Island, I was sent into quarantine over night to be sure my hideous face wasn't contagious. I was forced to stand in a long line of people for hours in the humid sweaty smelling room. I was then forced behind a curtain and told to strip. I stood there naked as a strange doctor looked over my scars and most of all, my face. When my face was revealed, the doctor immediately sent me into quarantine. _

_For one hot humid night, I laid there, my cloak being the only bedding from the floor. The next morning, I was given a pass to leave, and made my way into the crowded streets of Manhattan. With some of the cash I had saved over the years, I was able to rent a room on the top floor of a Coney Island flat. It wasn't much, the walls were cracked, there was a rusty bed frame set in the corner, a decaying grandfather clock, a fire place and a desk. _

_The first few nights on Coney Island were the loneliest of my life. I laid there in my makeshift bed dreaming continuously about Christine, only to wake holding nothing but the empty air. To get my mind off of Christine, I decided to keep myself occupied with finding a job. In Coney Island, oddities off all kinds fled here to make money showing themselves to the public. I refused to let myself become one. I had to make money and fast, but the question was how? After numerous attempts, I finally landed myself a job working as a magician in a sideshow. Everything was going perfect, until one evening. I had worked a double shift because some of the other acts were out sick. It was very late and Coney Island had long since closed, leaving the streets deserted. I walked alone like I usually did, carrying my box of props. I was just about home, when all of a sudden, I was grabbed and pulled into an alley. Four middle aged men threw me down on the cold ground, my box of props being overturned, and my knees scraped. _

"_What money do ya have on ye?" one asked in a thick Irish accent._

_I didn't answer him, and laid there on my back, thinking about what to do. What could I do? I didn't have any thing on me to protect myself with, not even my lasso. I thought Coney Island would have been different. I thought people were kinder, but I soon found out that it was just as dangerous and cruel as Paris. _

_One was holding a baseball bat, and thrashed it down over my weak knees. I screamed, and heard a loud crack. My leg felt as though it was dismembered from my body. _

"_I asked you a question." the man snarled again. _

_I handed over my wallet that was carrying the amount of five dollars, only to have my legs beaten again. For an hour this abuse went on, until they decided to leave me. Broken and bleeding profusely, I crawled the remaining distance to my flat, and pulled myself up the stairs. My legs, my poor emaciated legs, broken. For weeks I lay there in my uncomfortable bed, unable to work, unable to pay rent and the bills from the doctor I had sent for. He bound my legs in two metal braces, and stitched me up. I was told I'd be lucky if I ever walked again let alone work. My career was over before it even started, and I was headed for the streets. For weeks, my landlord pounded on my door, demanding my rent, the rent that I couldn't pay. I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom or cook myself something to eat…my life was coming to an end._

_I refused to let the doctor tell me I would never walk again. I, the Phantom of the Opera refused to hear it! I didn't want to be taken care of, but I needed someone I could trust to run errands for me, and frankly, the only one I could trust was living a million miles away. I wrote to Madame Giry, explaining my situation to her, and begged for her to come out and help me…Yes, for the second time in my hideous existence, I begged. I explained that once she arrived in Ellis Island, there would be an address given to her at the customs department telling her where to go. Some weeks passed, and I found myself still laying there in bed without any help. Had she even gotten the letter? But then one morning, nearly two months after my beating, a knock occurred at the door, and when it opened it was not Madame Giry, it was her daughter, Meg. Damn her! I asked for the cow and instead I got the calf! _

_How badly I wanted to deny her, but I was in desperate need of help. For weeks she cooked me meals, ran errands and took care of me. Though, having the temper I was famous for, I did go off on her more than once. I told her if I wanted her help I would ask for it, and that she wasn't to touch me unless I wanted her to. She took my advice and stayed away from me until I asked for her assistance. For a while, I took on some work, composing carousel music for Coney Island. It was easy enough, and the best part was I could do it right from my bed and when it was finished, Meg delivered it. I found it quite boring ,but it paid the rent, and kept the landlords off my back. Each night that I laid there in bed, I thought about Christine. I thought about her hair, her beautiful eyes, her wonderful smile….So much joy was brought to my heart by such thoughts. But I always remembered that horrible sentence that she last said to me._

"_Our life would be as beautiful as your face."_

_That sentence was like a million shards of glass taken to my heart. She didn't love me, so why did I love her back? I didn't care, it was the thought of her loving me that kept me alive. When I was almost back to my old self, I began devising a plan on how to make loads of money without having to walk. One long and endless night, I sat there in bed drawing, drawing a kingdom that would create money and the best attraction Coney Island had ever seen. Plus, it would get Meg out of my flat for good. It was beginning to become a nuisance to not only my privacy, but my way of living as well. She always wanted to straighten up my music sheets that were piled sky high on my desk, or mop the floor….She was too clean! There was nothing wrong with the little mess that was scattered about my flat, it was just me after all! But no, Meg wanted to keep it spick and span! Damn her! I couldn't even dress myself without having so much as a glance thrown my way, let alone getting the privacy to pleasure myself to the image of Christine playing out my fantasy inside my head. No, I never had any time alone. Sometimes I just sent her out on a pointless errand just to be able to piss in peace. No, Meg had to go, and I knew the only way she was going to be able to do it was if I built my empire and gave her a job. _

_When my realm was finally completed on paper, I sent Meg out to find me a few honest men to build it, god knew I couldn't. And with that search came Mr. Squelch; a strong man who had spent his life lifting heavy things in a freak show, and Dr. Gangle; a strange lanky man who needed the money but had an eye for perfection. With the two of them in charge, they brought together many other workers and began building my kingdom, and in return I promised I would give them all permanent jobs once it opened. And that's exactly what I did. I named it "Phantasma," and it became the number one attraction in all of Coney Island. People came from miles and miles to sit through one of my freak shows, walk through my maze of mirrors, or gaze upon the Phantasma Olalla girl; Meg Giry! Yes, Meg became the Olalla girl, five shows daily and making enough money to move into her own place with the exception of checking in on me one time every afternoon. _

_Years passed, and I was able to make money without even leaving my flat. I became one of the richest men in New York, but one thing was missing; Christine. How badly I wanted her with me, but I knew she didn't want me. I was a rich and lonely soul, only aching for one woman in the world, a woman I knew I would never have. After years of being confined to my bed, I was able to get around with the braces being on my legs and a walking stick in my hand. I was soon able to walk around Phantasma to check on things, mail my own letters, cook my own meals. Everything was getting back to normal. I even made a name for myself. I soon became "Miser E." And that name soared to greatness. When ever my name was talked about, everyone immediately associated it with Phantasma. It became a household name, and I enjoyed every moment of it. I was able to walk among freaks without being teased and taunted, I was able to walk among men without getting beaten._

_Life was almost perfect…..Each night I would return to my flat, completely exhausted from my walk, and lay down. I had come to the ritual of removing my braces from under my trousers, and lay them beside my bed. I would massage my legs, and think about Christine, wondering what she was doing at this exact moment. Then came the evening everything snapped. I could no longer take the thought of thinking about her any longer, and wanted her here with me in my arms. I promised myself that I would never contact her, but what could I do? I wanted to see her so badly. And so I took out a piece of parchment and began writing. _

"_**My dearest Christine,**_

_**So many nights I have waken to feel nothing but my pillow laying beside me. My heart is torn open and bleeding out from such pain you have left it in. After ten years of living on my own, I can finally say you were right. Our life would have been as hideous as my face. That phrase burns and burns within me each and every day. Since birth I had been alone, and unloved, and still, ten years later I am unloved. Never feeling a single kiss, the warm embrace of a hug, or the wonderful bliss of making love. Ten years ago, I left Paris, too heartbroken to stay. I moved on to the world's new playground, and built myself an empire. But even an empire couldn't keep my thoughts about you away. I promised myself I would never write you a single letter, and let you live your life, but this, this Christine is my breaking point. At least you can know that I am in pain, and I still love you and only you. Are you happy? Have you given birth to any of the DeChagney's children? I wish you nothing but the best my dear. Perhaps you were right after all, our life would have been as hideous as my face…**_

_**Forever yours**_

_**Erik."**_

_When I was finished, I sealed the letter in a envelope, and mailed it the following day. It was only after I mailed it that I realized what such a horrible mistake I had made. How could I do such a thing? "Our life would be as beautiful as your face." Those words came back to haunt me, and made me think about how writing her was such a horrible thing. She was happy, and my letter would do nothing more than make her sad. Why! Why had I done such a thing! I only thanked god that I hadn't written a return address on the envelope. God knows another rejection would kill me. In my dreams, Christine always comes back to me when she receives my letter, and when I wake, I know that she is never coming. But is it a sin for a lonely, crippled man to dream about the only thing that would make him happy? Oh, and what a beautiful dream it was…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, end of chapter two. Let me know what you think. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, thanks for the reviews. I own nothing.**

* * *

"_So now I sit_

_And try to think _

_Just what life means to me_

_Both what life is_

_And what I hope _

_The future years will be" _- Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

_**Christine's POV**_

_It's a wonder how much darkness can fill one soul. For weeks I laid there on my journey to Coney Island, thinking about Erik. If anything boggled my mind, it was what I could possibly say to him in order to gain his forgiveness. But no matter how hard I tried, I knew nothing in the world would be enough to erase that horrible sentence from his mind. I knew if I were him, I wouldn't forgive me either. What if when I arrived, he wouldn't let me stay with him? What if he didn't want to see me at all? Was it possible for my trip to be a total waste?_

_I suffered from motion sickness right up until the night we finally docked in Ellis Island. When I heard the whistle of the ship go off, I grabbed my one bag of belongings, and threw on my cloak. The night was cool, and I couldn't see a thing except for the light coming from the window of the custom department. I was forced to stand there in the night fog with a thousand other people, waiting to be examined and carded. After going through a full examination by a doctor, I was sent to another line where I had to wait some more. I had already spent at least five hours in the custom department, and I was more than ready to leave. When it was finally my turn to approach the desk, the man sitting behind it looked up at me and asked what my name was. _

"_Christine Daae." I said, wishing the man would smile or show some sort of kindness. But he didn't, he only wrote my name into a book, and stamped it._

"_Excuse me, I'm here to visit a friend. I was hoping you knew where I could find him?"_

"_I'm not the lost and found, lady." he snarled. "My job is to write your name into this guest list, not to find your family."_

"_Well, you must have everyone's name in that book. He came from Paris, his name is Erik."_

_The man slammed the leather book shut, and looked up at me._

"_Madame, I don't believe you understood me. I am not here to help you find your family."_

"_Could you please just look up his name for me. His name is Erik."_

"_Erik what?"_

_I didn't know his last name. Erik never told what his surname was. _

"_I…I don't know his surname." _

"_Well let's see." the man taunted me by opening his book back up and flipping through to the E section of it. "You have your choice of eighty five Erik's that live within Coney Island. Pick your choice."_

"_I will not be treated like this." I gasped, and walked off into the night. _

_I had no place to go, and no place to look. Searching for Erik was going to be like searching for a needle in a haystack. Where would Erik go? Where in Coney Island would he go? I was scared, and had no place to stay. I wandered the streets, until I heard a beautiful chiming from a clock tower. I followed the glorious music as it chimed in the hour of three a.m. I crossed the street, and saw the tall clock tower singing from behind a giant locked gate. I placed my hand around the bars, and looked inside. There were tall beautiful buildings, a Ferris wheel along with a few other attractions. The place seemed marvelous, and I wanted to explore it even more. The whole place was in darkness, except for a dim candle that was burning in the window of a flat high above this place. It was late, who on earth would be up at such a late hour? _

"_Best stay away from these parts at night." I heard a voice, and turned around to see an older man passing by me. He wasn't from around here, this I knew from the thick Irish accent he held._

"_I'm looking for my friend. Perhaps you know him."_

"_You sure as hell won't find him around here. Only the freaks live in these parts."_

"_Freaks?"_

"_Yes, Mister E and his band of freaks. He's made that damn park a refugee camp for em. If I were you, I'd stay away from there at night."_

_And just like that, the man walked off. If Erik was going to be anywhere, it was going to be here. Erik might not have been a freak, but I knew him well enough to know he would stay away from human beings. I threw my bag over the gate, and slipped through to the other side. I walked around the deserted park, looking for any signs of Erik. But when I grew tired, I sought shelter up against a concession stand and closed my eyes. I must have been extremely tired, for when I awoke, there were crowds and crowds of people passing by. I stretched, and stood to my feet. The sun was shining bright, and the air was still cool. I pushed past the crowd, and tried to search for Erik. Everything about this place was so wonderful. There were freaks performing on every corner, wonderful music traveling through the air. Everything was perfect. _

_When I couldn't spot Erik anywhere, I began approaching people to ask them if they have seen him._

"_I'm looking for a man named Erik. Have you seen him? White mask, tall, extremely thin?"_

_I asked every person I passed, but they only looked at me as if I had snakes crawling around my head. I searched for hours, never getting any closer to finding Erik. Perhaps he wasn't here after all. Perhaps he was in another part of Coney Island. After hours of searching, I sat down on a bench that was facing the ocean. Was I going to have to spend another night wandering the streets alone? I was getting extremely hungry, and my stomach wouldn't stop growling. I had no money to buy any food, and so I was going to have to limit myself to stealing it. Across the way, there was a place called "Nathan's Hotdogs." I wasn't sure what a hotdog was, but it sure smelled delicious. I pulled the hood of my cloak back over my head, and headed to where the salty yet wonderful smell was coming from. I stepped inside the shop, a large man serving the so called hotdogs to a crowd of paying customers. There was no way I was going to be able to reach over the counter to steal my meal, so I was going to have to steal it from someone who already paid. _

_At a table not too far away, there was a man who had set his hotdog down, but rose to approach the counter. This was my chance. I quickly made my way to the table, and snatched the strange looking food up into my hand. I heard the man shouting at me, but I didn't stop. I ran out of Nathan's and passed the crowds on the boardwalk. But why hadn't the screams stopped? Why was I still being told to stop? I didn't. I ran as the sun went away and the rain began to pour. I ran as fast as I could as everyone in my way headed for shelter under nearby concession stands. The rain was hitting stinging my face like the sting of a thousand bees. I almost slipped from the soaked boardwalk, losing my hotdog in the process. All my hard work for nothing! I would have stopped running, but I was still being chased. _

"_Stop! Stop her!" I heard the angry calls from behind me and kept running even though I couldn't see a thing in front of my face. And then, out of nowhere, two boney hands grabbed me from the front. His monstrous strength lifted me slightly in the air, and I kicked and screamed to be let go of. Soon, the two men from Nathan's that had been chasing me were right there in front of the person who was holding onto my body._

"_Ah, boss, just the man we wanted to see." replied the man._

"_What seems to be the problem?" came the soft voice from the man who was holding me. Wait, I knew that voice! _

"_She stole a hotdog from one of our patrons."_

"_I'll deal with her. Thank you, Nathan." _

_I dared to glance up at the man who had me in his grasp, only to see that it was Erik! It was him! He was soaking wet, but the white of his mask glowed within the damp fog and rain. _

"_How dare you steal from me you little street rat!" he shook me violently, his hands clenching tighter around my shoulders. "No one steals from Mister E! No one!"_

_It was then that he threw back the soaked hood of my cloak, only to gasp at the mere sight of me. Those mismatched shade of blue eyes looking down at me as if he were looking down at a ghost. _

"_Ch…Christine?"_

_I was speechless, he knew my name. He still remembered me after all these years. It had been so long since I last heard his voice or smelled his musty cologne._

"_Erik." were the only words that escaped my lips. They flowed from my mouth like warm honey, and caused Erik to sigh. _

"_Wh..What are you doing here? You should be in Paris." it pained him to speak to me like he was, but I wouldn't back down, not now, not ever._

_When I didn't speak, he switched the subject and began pulling me along._

"_Come, you're soaking wet. Let us seek shelter from this rain." his words were harsh and filled with hate, but I couldn't blame him, especially after all I had done to him. I followed him through the rain swept streets until we arrived at the door of a tall building; the same building I had been staring at last night with the one light burning in the window. Something was different about Erik. He used to walk with a lanky strut, but now he was walking with a funny limp, and he used a walking stick to keep him balanced. I ignored it, and focused on what was ahead of me and not on the way he walked. He unlocked the door with a set of silver keys, and let me enter first. Inside was a stairwell that twisted and turned all the way up to the top floor. Had I been looking at Erik's home the entire time and didn't even know it? When we reached an old wooden door at the top of the stairs, Erik unlocked it, and pushed it open to reveal a huge room that had a piano in one corner, a desk in the other that was piled with paper work, a rusty bed frame in another with a grandfather clock up against the wall, and in the center of the room near a cobweb filled fireplace was a wobbly dining room table. The room was freezing, and the floor had scattered music sheets all over it. _

_As soon as Erik entered, he began to move about, picking up the scattered papers to clear the floor._

"_I must apologize for the mess." he laid the papers on top of his already disorganized desk. "I'm not used to having company over."_

_I placed my damp arms under my armpits to try to rid of the chill that was taking over my body. Erik moved to the fireplace, and began to brush away the cobwebs that covered its opening._

"_And as you can probably see, I haven't used my fireplace either."_

_His joke made me giggle, but Erik didn't seem to notice it or care. Once the fireplace was lit, he limped over to his closet and rummaged through it. _

"_It would be unhealthy to stay in your soaked clothes." he reached inside the doors, and brought out a long white shirt. "I'm afraid I don't have any dresses to give you, but a shirt should do just fine."_

_He laid the long shirt out over his bed, and helped me out of my soaked cloak. The feeling of his hands over my shoulders sent a chill through my body. It had been ten whole years since I last felt his hands touching me. He hung my cloak over the fire to dry, and disappeared to give me some privacy to change. Even though I could not see him, I heard him rummaging around the corner. I heard a few glasses being moved about, along with the slow mumbled curses beneath his breath._

"_When you're finished changing." he began. "You can hang your garments over the fire. Your corset must be soaked too, so I would advise you to keep that damn contraption off."_

_Once more I giggled; Erik never did like the fact that I wore a corset. He was always taunting me about how it was hurting my lungs and such. The white shirt slid over my naked body, and wound up at my knees, the long sleeves bringing me such warmth; it even smelled like Erik. _

"_Are you decent, Madame?" came his call from around the corner._

_Madame? He never called me Madame. I knew he was still mad at me._

"_Yes, I am."_

_Two seconds later, he came walking around the corner, his walking stick in one hand, and a glass of water in the other. _

"_Here, drink this."_

_I took the glass out of his hands, and drank the lukewarm water, noticing that he was still soaked to the bone._

"_You're wet."_

_Erik scooped up my soaked garments from the floor, and hung them over the fire with my cloak. _

"_I'm fine. I'll dress in a moment. I do hope the shirt comforts you."_

"_Yes, it's perfect, thank you."_

"_Well…." he looked around his flat, embarrassed on how messy it was. I didn't mind, it was a place to keep me warm from the weather. "Make yourself at home. I'm….I'm going to get changed."_

_I circled myself, trying to see if I had possibly missed a couch or a chair. When Erik saw this, he cursed himself, and once again went into his closet, bringing out a few pillows and patched up blankets before spreading them out near the fireplace. _

"_I must apologize once more." he spread them out until they were to his satisfaction. "Furniture is something I find completely irrelevant with it being just me living here."_

_With that, he walked away, and I plopped down onto the bedding of pillows, letting the warmth of the fire seep into my body. As I sat there, I couldn't help but glance over towards Erik's bed and notice him changing. He was being careful not to expose any part of his body, slipping on a new shirt before he even removed his soaked one. When I saw him look up, I moved my stare back to the fire as not to anger him further. A few moments later, he was at my side, a long black overcoat flowing at his ankles. He gripped onto his walking stick, and cringed as he sat down beside me, keeping a fair amount of distance between us. He was dressed in long black sleep trousers, his boney pale feet sticking out of them. My angel never wanted to be away from me, but now, ten years later he was making sure to keep as far away from me as possible. We sat there in a silence you could cut with a knife, neither looking or touching each other. But when I began to hear him shifting about, I looked over to see his boney hands reaching inside of his left pant leg. I had no idea what he was doing. Perhaps he was scratching himself? It wasn't until I heard the sound of metal squeaking and him pulling a heavy brace out from his pant leg did I realize why he had been limping. God! He had a bad leg. _

_How had he obtained such an injury? Had the mob found him? Had they tortured him and broken his leg? Why? Why had I left him? He laid the metal brace up against the hearth of the fireplace, and began reaching inside his other pant leg. What was this? And with the same metal squeak came another leg brace. Oh, my poor angel had two bad legs. He set the brace right up against the other, and began massaging his legs from the ankle all the way up to his thigh. When he noticed me gawking at him, he moved father away from me and sighed. _

"_It would make me more comfortable if you didn't gawk at me like the crippled man that I am."_

"_No, it's not like that.." I paused, trying to think of how to start my first conversation with Erik in ten years. "How did it happen?"_

_If I could at least know the cause of Erik's injury, than I could feel better knowing that I hadn't caused it, or worse for not being there for him._

"_If you must know…" he snarled. "I was mugged and beaten to a pulp for the measly amount of the five dollars in my wallet."_

_My poor angel. Paris had not been the only place that had treated him so cruel. _

"_Look, once this storm ends I'll take you back to what ever hotel you're staying at. I'm sure your lover will be missing you."_

_Erik thought I was here with Raoul. Had he forgotten about the letter he had written me?_

"_Erik, I'm not here with Raoul. Raoul's not actually here at all."_

_He paused from massaging his legs, and slowly glanced my way, a look of distraught on his masked face. _

"_Then who in God's name are you here with?"_

"_I came alone."_

"_And what of your lover?"_

_I reached over for my leather pack, and took out the envelope that held Erik's letter inside it._

"_I got your letter. I couldn't stay with him any longer."_

_I closed my eyes, and turned my face to him so he could see the healing bruises that were still fresh on my cheek. I waited to feel my angel's hand brushing them, but that feeling never came. Did he not love me anymore?_

"_You need to go back." were the harsh words that escaped my angel's mouth. "You need to pretend that letter never happened. I was sick, and did something I shouldn't have done." He grabbed my arm, and lifted me to my feet in a violent rage. "You need to go! You need to go back to Paris! You cannot stay here!"_

"_I don't love him anymore!" I pleaded. "I don't love him, Erik. He beats me! He hurts me every night. He beats me because I can't have children! Please, please don't make me go back to him!"_

_I was sobbing now, on my knees, brushing my arm that Erik had bruised with his violent force._

"_Years ago I would have believed you, but not anymore. My heart cannot take another rejection from you or anyone else. For our life would be as beautiful as my face."_

_I gasped. Those words, those hideous, vulgar words had come back to haunt me._

"_Erik? Please…"_

"_No!" he snapped. "You were right. Our life together would have been hideous! Not only have you come here on the assumption that I would shelter you from your lover's abuse, but you also stole from me! How dare you come here to my world and steal?"_

"_I was hungry and without money."_

"_So that gives you the right to steal? I think not. But because I am a kind monster, I'm going to let it slide. We're both even now. And tomorrow you will be on the first passage to Paris. You weren't there for me ten years ago, and I'm not about to be there for you!"_

_Erik rose to his feet, and stumbled across the room, falling right near his desk. I tried to get up to help him, but he burst out in anger._

"_Get up from that spot, and I'll kick you out tonight! I'm not a helpless invalid!" He struggled to his feet, snatching his walking stick from the floor. "I can care for myself! I've been doing it my whole life!"_

_For a while more, I laid there by the fire, glancing over at Erik every once in a while. He was sitting over at his desk, indulging himself into his paper work, the only sound being the rumbling of my hungry stomach. _

"_Could you cease that disgusting noise!" he growled, clenching his quill within his fingers. _

"_I'm hungry. I haven't had anything to eat in over two days."_

"_You stole from Nathan's today, didn't you?" he mumbled as he continued with his work._

"_I dropped it."_

_Erik laughed, taunting me with my mistake._

"_First you steal, and then you drop the goods. Oh, you're such a wonderful criminal, Madame, you would surely last out there on the streets."_

"_I could." I lied, knowing I would die within a day._

"_Sure you could. That's right, you could steal hotdogs….and then drop them before ever getting to eat them. Yes, I'm sure that would do your stomach well."_

"_So could I have something to eat?"_

"_And now you want my food? Give me one good reason why I should feed you?"_

_What had this man done with my Erik? The Erik I remember was kind, caring and would have done anything for me. Had my rejection made him so cold? _

"_Please, I'm starving."_

_A long silence occurred, with the end result being Erik giving into my plea._

"_Fine." he growled. "My food pantry is on the other side of the room. If you waste so much as a single bean I'll be sure to make you pay."_

_I moved from my spot on the pillows, to the other side of Erik's flat where there was a pantry against the wall. I opened the small door to see three shelves stacked with cans of food. He had so many varieties to chose from, that I didn't know what to pick. Finally, I chose a can that was labeled "peaches" and walked back out to where Erik was sitting._

"_How do you open it?"_

"_Figure it out yourself." he growled. "Can't you see that I'm busy?"_

"_I just asked a question is all."_

"_Yes, and next you'll be wanting me to cook it for you too. Leave me alone."_

_Dissatisfied with his answer, I sat back down on the pillows, and reached for the sharp fireplace poker. I stabbed it through the top of the can, making a small hole. I had never opened a can before, and didn't know the dangers of doing so. I thought by sticking my finger into the hole and prying up would release the lid, but it only cut my finger. I yelped in pain, and pulled my gushing finger out of the top of the can. My yelp had grabbed Erik's attention, and he spun around to see the blood seeping into the shirt I was wearing._

"_Damn you, woman! What on earth are you trying to do!" he was at my side in an instant, snatching the can out of my hand, and pulling me to his sink. He forced my hand under the faucet, the icy water stinging it._

"_That hurts!" _

"_It's going to; now shut up."_

_Erik tightly wrapped my finger in a towel, and told me to apply pressure to it. He approached the pantry, and took out a small knife looking contraption that hooked to the top of the can, and pried off the lid. He then slammed the open can of peaches down in front of me; some of the juice landing on my wrist. He then gave me the dirtiest look before leaving me alone to eat in silence. _

_How badly I wanted to yell at him for not opening the can for me in the first place, but I knew better than to say anything. I ate the cold peaches in silence, savoring their sweet and delicious taste. When my stomach was full, I curled up by the fire and closed my eyes, but not before seeing Erik turn out the lights and crawl into his bed without even a single "goodnight, Christine." _

_I knew I had changed Erik's once warm heart to ice. I had taken what kindness he had left and replaced it with hate. I had killed him. I knew Erik was no longer here, he was replaced with a stranger that hated the world. I was returning home in the morning, and when I got back, who knew what trouble was waiting for me…..Oh, what have I done?_

* * *

**Please review everyone! Thanks! Love you all!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone thanks again! Your reviews keep this story going!**

* * *

"_Let's take the chance_

_To let our hearts grow_

_Together again_

_And never let go." -_Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_Why had I chosen to go out? I wasn't sure why. As far as I knew, the sunny weather was going to change into rain, and my legs were killing me. Perhaps it was fait, perhaps I was supposed to go out because I was supposed to find Christine. Never in a million years did I ever think she would have answered my letter. I left my flat, cringing at the aches in my legs as I walked. When I was on the boardwalk, it began raining, causing everyone to run beneath the concession stands for cover. My clothes were already soaked, and so I decided to turn around and head back to my flat to change…but I heard yelling. From a distance, I noticed a cloaked woman running towards me, with Nathan and another worker chasing her._

"_Stop! Stop her!"_

_She must have done something terrible. I was crippled, but if this woman did something terrible, I'd be damned to let her get away. I grabbed her shoulders, and slightly lifted her up into the air. She kicked and screamed, but I didn't let her go. _

_When Nathan caught up to me, he smiled, glad that I had caught her. _

"_Ah, boss, just the man I wanted to see." he said._

"_What seems to be the problem?" I asked._

"_She stole a hotdog from one of the patrons."_

_I've had thieves before, but never one that stole a hotdog. Usually when thieves were caught, I would call the police to come get them, but for some reason, a hotdog being stolen didn't seem like an important reason to notify the authorities._

"_I'll deal with her, thank you, Nathan."_

_My two workers walked away, I saw the woman glance up at me, fear reaming through her eyes. Great! My mask was scaring her! _

"_How dare you steal from me you little street rat!" I shook her violently in my grasp. "No one steals from Mister E! No one!"_

_I wasn't sure what facial expression the woman was making beneath her hood, so I flipped it back to reveal her brown curls. But wait! I knew those curls! And those eyes! Christine! It was my Christine! She had come back to me!_

"_Ch…Christine?" those were the only words that could escape my mouth. Why was she here?_

"_Erik?" Oh, her voice, that wonderful voice. My ears have been dying to hear it for the past ten years. The way she said my name was filled with such passion, as if I were pleasuring her within my bed….oh, such bliss. _

"_Wh..What are you doing here?" I asked. "You should be in Paris."_

_She didn't answer me. She only looked up at me with the same fear on her face that she had the day she saw my deformity all those years ago. I was soaking wet, and so was she. I knew if we stayed out in this cold rain any longer it be the death of both of us._

"_Come, you're soaking wet." I pulled her arm along. "Let us seek shelter from the rain."_

_My words were cold, but what could I do? My heart was still in an extreme amount of pain from her last words to me all those years ago. She followed me as we walked towards my flat. I didn't want to take her there, but where else were we to go to seek shelter from the rain? I could see her gawking at the funny way that I walked, but I ignored her just like I ignored everyone else that always threw me a glance. When we reached my flat, I opened the door, and let her go first, knowing I would take more time climbing the stairs than she would. It was only when I opened the door did I realize how messy my flat was. It had been a few days since Meg Giry checked on me, and when she did, I demanded that she not touch anything. Yes, the pain in my heart from Christine was still alive as could be, but the thought of letting her enter a pigsty was just embarrassing. Despite the agony my legs were in, I began to move about the flat to pick up the music papers that were scattered around the floor. _

"_I must apologize for the mess." I said laying the pile of papers on my disorganized desk. "I'm not used to having company over."_

_When I noticed Christine shivering, I moved to the cobweb covered fireplace to start it up. I never used my fireplace because I was so used to the cold._

"_As you can probably see, I haven't used my fireplace either."_

_I heard Christine giggle, but I didn't turn. Her laughter used to bring me such joy but now, her laughter couldn't even bring me so much as a smirk. When the fire was roaring, I limped over to my closet, and rummaged through it to find something Christine could wear. _

"_It would be unhealthy to stay in your soaked clothes." I found a long white shirt, and placed it our over my bed. "I'm afraid I don't have any dresses to give you, but a shirt should do just fine."_

_I approached Christine once again, and began to remove her cloak. My hands touching her shoulders sent a sensation through my entire body; a sensation I hadn't felt in years. When it was off her body, I hung it over the fire to dry. I couldn't stay around her any longer….such pleasure was entering my body again. I disappeared around the corner to let her change, and rummaged through my drinking glasses. _

"_When you're finished changing." I called out. "You can hang your garments over the fire. Your corset must be soaked too, so I would advise you to keep the damn contraption off." _

_How I hated corsets. Not only did they squeeze one's chest too tight, but they also destroyed voices. After a few moments, I filled up a glass with water, and called out to Christine._

"_Are you decent, Madame?"_

_Why call her anything else? She wasn't my sweet innocent Christine any longer. She was a married woman, and deserved to be treated like one. _

"_Yes, I am."_

_I walked using my walking stick, and approached Christine, handing her the glass of water. _

"_You're wet." _

_Indeed I was, but that wasn't important at the moment. I had been wet before, and It wouldn't be the last time. Turning away, I scooped her wet garments up into my arms and hung them over the fire as she finished drinking her water. _

"_I'm fine." I assured. "I'll dress in a moment. I do hope the shirt comforts you."_

"_Yes, it's perfect, thank you."_

"_Well…" I looked around the flat, not knowing where to go next. "Make yourself at home…I'm..I'm going to get changed."_

_I was standing in the area of my room, when I noticed Christine circling around the floor. Damn me! How could I leave her with nothing to sit on! Once again, I was in my closet, scooping up the extra pillows and blankets that were piled there. I quickly made my way back to the floor, and spread them around._

"_I must apologize once more." I said. "Furniture is something I find completely irrelevant with it being just me living here."_

_When the pillows and blankets were spread about, I walked away and began to change. I was never used to having another person sitting just inches away from me as I changed. Yes, Meg had been here, but I always made her walk around the corner until I was finished. To be sure none of my body exposed itself, I threw my dry shirt over my head before removing my wet one. But moments later, I glanced over at Christine for some odd reason and found her staring at me. Why? Why was she staring at me?_

_After throwing on my long overcoat, I limped my way over to Christine, and sat down on the pile of pillows, keeping my distance from her. We didn't say anything, and I began my ritual of removing the braces from my legs, but she was looking at me….God, the man I once was no longer lived inside of me. Who would have ever thought that I, the Phantom of the Opera would be using braces to walk?_

"_It would make me more comfortable if you didn't gawk at me like the crippled man that I am."_

"_No, it's not like that!" she blurted out, pausing to think about what to say. "How did it happen?"_

"_If you must know…" I snarled. "I was mugged and beaten to a pulp for the measly amount of five dollars I had in my wallet."_

_My answer must have satisfied me because she didn't say another word. This had to end! This had to come to an end! Christine could not stay here! Her precious lover was probably looking for her at this very moment._

"_Look, once this storm ends I'll take you back to what ever hotel you're staying at. I'm sure your lover will be missing you."_

"_Erik, I'm not here with Raoul. Raoul's not actually here at all."_

_What? He wasn't here? Than who in god's name was she here with?_

"_I came alone." she blurted out. _

"_And what of your lover?" I asked. _

_She reached into her leather bag, and took out an envelope, the same envelope I had sent her!_

"_I got your letter. I couldn't stay with him any longer."_

_Christine turned to me, her face full of bruises. Damn that bastard for touching her! No…no, I couldn't feel sorry for her! I couldn't!_

"_You need to go back!" I yelled. "You need to pretend that letter never happened! I was sick and did something I shouldn't have done!" I grabbed her arm and pulled her up violently. "You need to go! You need to go back to Paris! You cannot stay here!"_

"_I don't love him anymore!" she pleaded. "I don't love him, Erik! He beats me! He hurts me every night! He beats me because I can't have children! Please don't make me go back to him!"_

_Christine was on her knees now, sobbing and pleading me to let her stay. I couldn't! I wouldn't! my heart would never take her games! No, she couldn't stay!_

"_Years ago I would have believed you, but not anymore. My heart cannot take another rejection from you or anyone else. For our life would be as beautiful as my face."_

"_Erik? Please…"_

"_No!" I snapped. "You were right. Our life together would have been hideous! Not only have you come here on the assumption that I would shelter you from your lover's abuse, but you also stole from me! How dare you come here to my world and steal?"_

"_I was hungry and without money."_

"_So that gives you the right to steal? I think not. But because I am a kind monster, I'm going to let it slide. We're both even now. And tomorrow you will be on the first passage to Paris. You weren't there for me ten years ago, and I'm not about to be there for you!"_

_My heart was racing so fast, that I stumbled and fell right beside my desk. When I saw Christine trying to get up to help me, I shouted at her! Damn her if she thought I was going to accept her help!_

"_Get up from that spot, and I'll kick you out tonight! I'm not a helpless invalid!" I struggled to my feet, snatching my walking stick from the floor. "I can care for myself! I've been doing it my whole life!"_

_For a while I sat at my desk working on music I had become bored writing. Things just hadn't been the same since Christine betrayed me all those years ago. But my train of thought was cut off by a rumbling sound coming from across the room. It was Christine's stomach…_

"_Could you cease that disgusting noise?"_

"_I'm hungry. I haven't had anything to eat in over two days."_

"_You stole from Nathan's today, didn't you?" _I _mumbled, continuing with my work._

"_I dropped it." she confessed._

_This made me laugh. She stole food, and yet she never got to eat it. _

"_First you steal, and then you drop the goods. Oh, you're such a wonderful criminal, Madame, you would surely last out there on the streets."_

"_I could." _

"_Sure you could. That's right, you could steal hotdogs….and then drop them before ever getting to eat them. Yes, I'm sure that would do your stomach well."_

_The room silenced for a few moments._

"_So could I have something to eat?"_

_Damn her! She was like a stray cat! First I bring her to my home and now she wanted my food too! Damn her!_

"_And now you want my food? Give me one good reason why I should feed you?"_

"_Please, I'm starving."_

_I groaned! Why! Why had her plea changed my mind? Why? She hit a nerve within my heart. The thought of my angel being hungry had weakened me, and I gave in._

"_Fine!" I growled. ""My food pantry is on the other side of the room. If you waste so much as a single bean I'll be sure to make you pay."_

_I went back to my work, listening to her rummaging about in my food pantry. _

"_How do you open it?" I heard her ask._

_Damn her! Would I ever get a moment of privacy? I pushed the quill down into my paper; smudging the ink._

"_Figure it out yourself!" I growled. "Can't you see that I'm busy?"_

"_I just asked a question is all."_

"_Yes, and next you'll be wanting me to cook it for you too."_

_After her last words, a few moments of silence occurred, and I thought I finally would be able to work in peace. But suddenly, I heard a cry of agony escape her lips. What was wrong now! I turned, only to see blood seeping into the shirt I had let her borrow._

"_Damn you, woman! What are you trying to do!"_

_It was coming from her hand! Why! Why had this happened? I grabbed her arm, and shoved it under my sink to wash away the blood that was seeping out of her finger._

"_That hurts!" she cried out._

"_It's going to; now shut up!"_

_After washing out her cut, I wrapped it in a towel, and told her to apply pressure to it as I rummaged through my pantry. I took out a can opener, and pried the lid off the can of peaches that was sitting on the table and slammed it down in front of her. I then went back to my work as if nothing had ever happened. When my body grew weary, I blew out my candle that was placed on my desk, and made my way over to my bed without saying goodnight to Christine. Once I was laying completely down on the hard springs of my mattress, I removed my wig, and placed it on the night table beside the framed picture I had of Christine. Damn! That thing was still there! Quickly I flipped over the frame and placed it down so the picture wasn't showing. I laid there scratching the exposed skull of my deformity. The damn thing itched like crazy! If only god had given me the amount of hair everyman is born with. I would have removed my mask as well, but with Christine spending the night, I knew better than to do such a thing. My heart would never take the sight or sound of her screaming at me. Christine was leaving in the morning, and when she was gone, that's when I would finally get my peace. _

_Ever since my childhood, I hadn't been able to sleep because of the horrible nightmares that plagued my mind. Over and over again my rape and beatings would play in my dreams, causing me to sweat and toss in the confinements of my bed. But when I met Christine, all of it stopped. For once, my dreams were filled with wonderful images of Christine and out happy life together. For years, I had great dreams….until she left me. For ten years, my nightmares came back each and every night, and even now, as Christine lays only a few feet away from me, those nightmares still haunt my mind. Did I not love her anymore? My heart ached for her, but my mind was filled with such hatred! I found it hard to believe that I didn't love the only woman I ever cared for. _

_In the morning, when the first ray of sunlight shun through my window, I rolled over and ran my fingers through my thin strands of hair. After yawning, I looked over at Christine who was still sleeping. She was such an angel…the sunlight shun on her face as if an angel were laying right in my flat. _

_I walked into my kitchen without disturbing her, and put on a kettle of water to start my morning tea. While it was heating up, I stood there in front of the window, glancing down at the brisk November morning. Phantasma was at its last few days of being open, for soon, the winter's cold air would be here. To keep the chill from my body, I buried my arms beneath my overcoat, and yawned. Why was I still so tired? When I heard the tea kettle whistling, I turned around and lifted it from the burner. _

"_Erik?" _

_My name was being called by Christine! Oh, how I loved the sound of it being said by her. _

"_Yes?"_

_She stood up in the shirt I had let her wear, and approached me, her eyes fixated on my head…why? Why was she looking at me in such a way?_

"_Your head."_

_My hand lifted to the top of my mask, only to feel that I wasn't wearing my wig. Damn me! I pushed her aside, and rushed to my nightstand to grab it. While I was there, I placed on the braces, and then my trousers. _

"_It's such a beautiful morning." I heard Christine say. She was standing near the window looking out at the view of the ocean. "Is it always this beautiful?"_

"_I see nothing beautiful about it. Nothing is beautiful anymore." I coldly said._

"_It's a beautiful view, Erik."_

_I slammed down the kettle, and turned to her._

"_Did you not here what I said! Nothing! Nothing it beautiful!"_

_She gasped in fear, and I threw her dried garments at her, and threw the kettle into the sink._

"_Get dressed! We're going to the ship yard this instant!"_

_Christine ran around the corner, and only came back when she was dressed. _

"_Grab your stuff." I demanded. "It's time to go."_

_After locking up my flat, I led Christine through the slight crowd of Phantasma. It was chilly, and the usual crowds that lined the stands each and everyday had narrowed down to only a fraction of what it usually was. As we walked on, I couldn't help but notice Christine looking around in amazement. She seemed so interested in every little thing, but I didn't explain a thing about my park to her. When we arrived at the docks, I pushed Christine down on a bench._

"_Stay here, I'm going to get your ticket."_

"_Let me come."_

"_No! if you stand up from this spot, I swear you'll be sorry."_

_Christine was in tears, but I turned away before her tears struck a nerve. I approached the ticket stand, and leaned my walking stick up against it. _

"_Can I help you?" the ticket holder asked._

"_I need one passage to Paris."_

_The man opened his ledger, and flipped from page to page. I only hoped she would be able to get a ship sometime today. _

"_There's none today." he said, flipping through his book._

_Damn! Christine was going to have to spend another night with me. _

_I slammed my hands down on the counter in anger, and ran my wingers through the hair of my wig. _

"_Well when is the next ship?"_

"_Looks like…" he paused, flipping through hundreds of pages. "April first."_

_April first? April first? It was only November 2__nd__! This had to be a joke._

"_April first?" I growled. "April first! How can this be!"_

"_The icy waters are too much of a risk to send a ship back to Paris. The next ship won't arrive until the first of April."_

"_Look, I have a friend who needs to get home to Paris tonight!"_

"_There's nothing I can do, sir. She's going to be stranded here until spring."_

"_Where does a girl with no money stay until spring!" I shouted._

"_The work houses are always looking for help."_

_In anger, I grabbed my walking stick, and stalked away. Spring! The girl was going to be here until spring! Yes, I could place Christine in a work house, but no matter how angry I was at her, I didn't have the heart to place her in such a horrible place. To me, workhouses were just as bad as a gypsy freak show. I walked right past Christine, only to have her jump up and begin following me. _

"_The dock's that way." Christine yelled out. _

"_Don't treat me like I was born yesterday!" I shouted. "There isn't any ships coming or heading to Paris until April."_

"_So I'm stuck here?" she grabbed my arm to slow me down, but I pulled away._

"_Yes, you're stuck here."_

"_Where am I going to stay? I haven't any money."_

_I stopped, and turned to her, clenching her shoulders tightly in my grasp._

"_If you shut up, perhaps I'll let you stay…." I was being too kind to her. "Until I make other arrangements, that is."_

_I couldn't give her any hope of spending the whole winter with me, even though I knew she probably would. Yes, I might have been mad at her, but I didn't have the heart to throw her to the wolves. The Coney Island winters only got colder every year._

_She looked up at me, and placed her hand over my cold mask._

"_Thank you, Erik."_

_Oh, how my heart soared. Such a beautiful line, such a wonderful feeling…No! no! I couldn't do this! I pulled away, and continued walking._

"_Don't thank me! Thank me by staying out of my way."_

"_Where are we going?"_

_Questions! So many questions! Why!_

"_If you must know, I have work to do, and sadly I haven't a babysitter."_

"_So I get to come along?" she asked._

_I stopped walking, and sighed._

"_Yes, Christine you may accompany me; but in silence!"_

_Christine followed behind me as we entered through the gates of Phantasma. She was like a child, looking at everything in astonishment. She was slowing me down! Damn her, and damn my heart for caring about her! Damn me! Boy, was it going to be a long winter…._

* * *

**Ok, that's chapter two, please please please review! Thanks! Love you all! **


	5. Chapter 5

"_Sorrow is the realization_

_Of how it hurts so much_

_Hurt is hope that holds you down_

_Ego, is a common crutch" -_ Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

* * *

**Christine's POV**

_Never had I ever slept in the same room as Erik. Throughout the night, I would wake and hear him tossing and turning within his bed. Sometimes, he would scream out names I never heard before, and beg for it to "stop." I knew something bad had happened to him, but the real question was "Did I dare wake him?" How badly it hurt to lay there and listen to his nightmares go on, but I knew if I woke him he would become even angrier. After falling back asleep, I woke when I heard someone rummaging about in the kitchen. I awoke, to spot Erik standing near the window dressed in his robe, and yawning. Had his nightmares deprived him of his sleep? After stretching, I stood up and walked across the cold floor to reach him._

_The tea kettle that was sitting on the burner of the stove began whistling, and Erik leaned over to silence it. _

"_Erik?" I called his name, unsure as to how he was going to react. He took an empty mug out of his cabinet, and began filling it with the hot water, never turning my way._

"_Yes?"_

_When I didn't answer him, he looked over at me, and I looked at him. Something was different though….it was his hair! It wasn't black after all; it was blonde. He only had a few strands of hair to begin with, but something else was different. There was an exposed part of his skull right in the side of his head. My poor angel; his face hadn't been the only thing that was malformed._

"_Your head."_

_Upon hearing the words, Erik slowly lifted his hand to touch the top of his head. It seemed as though he had forgotten to place on his wig. Never did I ever know that his skull looked like this. When he realized this, he pushed right past me, and headed to his bed where I saw him grab a wig from his nightstand and place it on. When I saw him undoing his sleep trousers, I turned towards the window and looked out at the brisk morning. There was frost covering the beach, and it made the ocean sparkle…It was so beautiful. _

"_It's such a beautiful morning." I sighed. "Is it always this beautiful?"_

"_I see nothing beautiful about it." he mumbled coming back into the kitchen with his braces on his legs. "Nothing is beautiful anymore."_

"_It's a beautiful view, Erik." _

_At that moment, Erik slammed the kettle down on the stove, and turned to me full of rage._

"_Did you not hear what I said?" he screamed. "Nothing is beautiful! Nothing!"_

_I knew Erik was good for his temper, but never had I ever seen him like this. I gasped in fear, and he threw the kettle into the sink; some of the boiling hot water landed on my arm in the process._

"_Get dressed!" he demanded. "We're going to the ship yard this instant!"_

_That was all I needed to hear, and ran around the corner, throwing on my now dry clothes and only coming back once I was ready to go._

"_Grab your stuff. It's time to go!"_

_Erik wasted no time in locking his flat, and making me follow him to through the amusement park he lived in. There were so many beautiful things; so many wondrous attractions to see. I wanted to ask him about each thing, but I knew better than to open my mouth. My time with Erik was growing short, and I knew he didn't want a thing to do with me. Even when we arrived at the docks, he pushed me down on a bench and told me to stay put. _

"_Let me come!" I pleaded._

_He only pushed me back down, and looked me in the eye with his evil stare._

"_No! if you stand up from this spot, I swear you'll be sorry."_

_This wasn't the angel I knew. Erik used to be such a caring man, and now he was a monster. I cried as he walked away, wishing he would turn around and embrace me, but he never did. He approached the ticket booth, and began conversing with the ticket master. I wasn't sure what was taking him so long, but a few moments later, I heard him yelling at the man. When Erik turned back around, I thought he was coming back to me with a ticket that would take back to Paris, but he only walked right past me. Wondering what was going on, I jumped up from my seat, and began following him._

"_The dock's that way."_

"_Don't treat me like I was born yesterday!" he shouted. "There isn't any ships coming or headed to Paris until April."_

"_So I'm stuck here?" I grabbed his arm to slow him down, but he only pushed me away._

"_Yes, you're stuck here."_

_This wasn't good. Not only was I stuck in Coney Island the whole winter, but I had no place to go. Surely Erik would not have me._

"_Where am I going to stay? I haven't any money."_

_He stopped, and clenched my shoulders tightly in his grasp._

"_If you shut up, perhaps I'll let you stay." _

_Wow, that very kind of him…Did he have a change of heart?_

"_Until I make other arrangements." he reminded me._

_So much for that. Of course, he was probably going to stick me at a hotel once the Coney Island crowds cleared out for the winter._

"_Thank you, Erik." _

_He turned from me in such anger, walking away again._

"_Don't thank me! Thank me by staying out of my way!"_

"_Where are we going?" _

"_If you must know, I have work to do, and sadly I haven't a babysitter."_

"_So I get to come along?" I asked._

_Erik stopped walking, and sighed._

"_Yes, Christine, you may accompany me; but in silence!"_

_I did as he asked, and kept quiet as we walked back through the gates of the mysterious park…But wait? The gates had the words "Phantasma" welded into it. Phantasma? That name, it sounded so familiar._

"_What's Phantasma?" I asked._

"_It's the park's name." he snarled._

"_But why is it called "Phantasma?" I wanted to know this more than anything in the world. Such an odd name for a park. "If the creator were here right now, I'd ask him. What kind of name is that for a park?"_

_Erik stopped in his tracks, causing me to bump into him. He turned to me, his tall, thin body overpowering mine. _

"_Well then, Madame, ask away."_

"_What?" I was confused. Was this a joke?_

"_You heard me!" he growled. "Ask me why I named this park "Phantasma?"_

_God! That's where the name came from! This was his park!_

"_You built this?" I asked. _

"_Yes, Madame, I did. Now would you please shut up!"_

"_So you're Mister E? You're the one everyone talks about?"_

_Once again, Erik stopped in his tracks._

"_Yes, now please, come along and stop asking questions. I have a lot of work to do before the day is out and don't need you holding me up."_

_I followed him all the way to something called "The haunted house." It was a creepy old building, with cars lined up at its entrance. _

"_The Haunted house?" I questioned. "Is it really haunted?"_

_Erik just groaned, and pulled me along. He opened the front door, and hopped into the first car as I stood there watching. He didn't sit, he just knelt towards the seat, and then looked over at me._

"_Do me a favor, and push the green button on the box beside you."_

_I looked at the electric box that was full of buttons and wires, and pushed the red button, causing the car Erik was kneeling in to back up and crash into the others._

"_Damn you, woman! I said green! Green! Not red! Don't you know one color from the other!"_

_Once more, I was frightened by his temper, but corrected myself and pushed the green button. When I did, the car he was in whipped around the corner and through the front door. I wondered where he had gone, but seconds later heard him ask me to push the green button again. This time when I did, the second car in line whipped around the corner and entered through the door. Over and over again, he asked me to do this for every car. Curious about where they were going, when the last car began to move, I jumped into it, and sat down in its seat as it traveled into the haunted house. _

_Once inside, I was met with spider webs, and scary images on the wall. I screamed, and it echoed for what seemed like miles. When my car stopped, I was met with a bunch of spiders hanging from the ceiling. _

_I fearfully shooed them from my hair, and screamed._

"_Would you stop screaming!" Erik yelled._

_From out of the darkness, Erik appeared, and pushed the spiders away from my head._

"_Do you know the secret of a haunted house?" he snarled._

_I shook my head._

_He tugged one of the spiders down, and flashed it in front of my eyes._

"_Everything is fake."_

_He threw the rubber spider in front of my face, and waited for me to get up._

"_I told you to push the button, not to take a ride."_

"_I was curious." I said. "It seemed so interesting, and I couldn't help myself."_

"_You could have hurt your voice."_

_I got out of the car, and Erik pulled me in front of him._

"_Stay close." he warned. "The track is very narrow here."_

_Once we were back outside, Erik shut the door and began walking off once again._

"_Where are you going?" I asked._

"_I have more rides to lock up for the winter."_

_I kept my mouth shut, and followed him to a ride that had a wooden track with hills. Beneath the deck where the cars were lined was a storage closet, and Erik opened it. He pulled out a large folded tarp, and motioned me to come forward._

"_Help me unfold this." he said. "Take an end."_

_I did as he asked, and pulled the tarp until it unfolded. Afterwards, we walked up the stairs that led to the deck, and Erik covered the cars with it. _

"_Keeps the snow off of them." he told me in his cold tone of voice. _

_As Erik tied the tarp on the line of cars, I looked out to see the Ferris Wheel. I rested my arms on the railing of the deck, and sighed. My Erik had created everything in this park, and what a wonderful park it was. _

"_What are you looking at?" I heard him ask._

"_Everything." I said. "It's amazing."_

"_Well, I never imagined that my life would lead me to waste it on smoke and noise, but here I am ten years later."_

"_It's not a waste." I said. "It's everything but a waste. Your mind is brilliant, and what you've created here is far more brilliant than any music you could have ever written."_

"_Do you think I enjoy running an amusement park?" he growled. "I, the Phantom of the Opera, enjoy running a place where others can wallow in happiness? I can't even obtain my own happiness; why would I want to see everyone else's?"_

_Erik began storming down the steps, leaving me standing on the deck alone. _

"_You could have it, you know."_

_Erik immediately stopped, and slowly turned around._

"_What? Pain? Is that what my happiness is supposed to include? Because if I know you well, and I'm pretty sure I do, you don't love me. Our life, my dear, would be as beautiful as my face….Do you remember that?"_

"_You were a murderer." I said. "I was scared. But I seen what good you can do. You built this place, Erik, and I know there is good in you."_

"_There was good in me ten years ago! But you didn't care to see it! Now come along!"_

_We walked along the boardwalk, Erik leading me right back to Nathan's; the same place I had stolen from just yesterday. _

"_Erik, where are we going?"_

"_I'm hungry. It's time to get some lunch."_

_I pulled the hood of my cloak up over my head, and entered the stand with Erik leading the way. When we approached the counter, the man known as Nathan, smiled and immediately tended to Erik._

"_Ah, boss, it's so good to see you again." His eyes turned my way. "And what is this thief still doing with you?"_

_Erik flung back the hood of my cloak so Nathan could see me, and I closed my eyes, too ashamed to look at him._

"_She's a pretty woman." Nathan said. "What is her reason for stealing?"_

"_It's a long story. But to tell you the short version, she's a friend, and came over here without any money and made a horrible mistake. Anyway, she wanted to come make a full apology."_

_Erik bumped my shoulder, and I looked up at the man. _

"_I'm…I'm sorry, sir."_

"_And honest too. I like her, boss. What can I get for you?"_

_Erik stared up at the menu, and then back at me. _

"_I'll take two with ketchup and sauerkraut."_

_Nathan disappeared, and returned with two strange looking tubes of meat on a bun. When Erik tried to pay, Nathan wouldn't accept. _

"_It's on the house." he said. "You should know that by now."_

_I thought we were going to sit, but Erik walked back outside. _

"_Come along, Madame." he instructed. "We must keep moving."_

_Once outside, Erik handed me my hotdog. I looked over it again and again, trying to figure out how to eat it. I watched him for a few moments, only to giggle when the ketchup that was on his hotdog smeared on the front of his mask. _

"_That's not funny!" he growled. "Just stop!"_

"_It wouldn't hurt for you to laugh once in a while." I said handing him the napkin that was wrapped around my hotdog. _

"_I don't laugh, because I'm hurt. Everything hurts inside."_

_I bit into my hotdog, and wiped my mouth with the sleeve of my cloak. Yesterday I had dropped my hotdog before I even had the chance to taste it. But right now, as my mouth got its first taste of a hotdog, I knew I would never want to eat anything else…until I found another Coney Island treat to sink my teeth into anyway. _

"_Good?" he asked._

_I nodded. "Yes, very good."_

_Erik looked up towards the grey sky, and motioned me to continue walking with him._

"_Come, there's a storm coming and I have lots more to do."_

_For a while more, I accompanied Erik to the many attractions he had within Phantasma. He locked up the maze of mirrors, pushed all of the swan shaped boats into the tunnel of love, and drained the water out of the log ride. By the time this was done, I felt something wet hitting me from the sky, only to look up and see that it was snowing. _

_While Erik was preoccupied with closing up one of the concession stands, I ran over to the railing of the boardwalk, and looked out as it snowed over the ocean. It had been years since I last seen it snow on the beach. It brought back memories of how my father and I would stand in front of the window, and watch the snowflakes glisten over the ocean….if only he were here now. _

"_Don't run off like that!" I heard an angry shout from behind me, only to spot Erik headed my way. _

"_What were you thinking?" he grabbed my shoulders violently, as the snow continued to fall. "You are never to run off like that!"_

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_Sorry doesn't cut it! I'm crippled enough without having to wander around and wonder where you ran off to. What if something happened? I wouldn't be able to fight them off."_

"_Erik, I only meant to look out at the ocean. I swear this to you."_

"_Come, we're going home before we both catch our deaths out here."_

_I didn't say another word, and followed Erik through the deserted Phantasma. Once we were back in his flat, Erik made a fire, and took a seat at his desk to do paper work. I sat there on the mounds of pillows, looking over at him as he worked. He was so shut out from the world, and even myself. He was treating me as if I were a pet and nothing more. _

"_Erik?"_

"_Hmm?" he didn't look up, and continued writing. From what I could see, his mask was placed beside him, but I couldn't see his face because his back was turned towards me._

"_What are you writing?"_

"_Closing statements for Phantasma. It would do me a great deal if you silenced yourself."_

"_It's warmer by the fire." I said. "You could come sit next to me and do your paperwork, couldn't you?"_

"_I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you."_

"_You look cold."_

_He did. I noticed that he had been shivering through his robe, and hadn't said anything until now. _

"_I'm fine."_

"_But…"_

"_What part of "I'm fine" don't you understand?"_

"_Would you want me to make something for us? I could make soup?"_

_Erik slammed his hands down on his desk, and groaned. He didn't turn towards me, but his voice was loud and angry._

"_I want to make something very clear with you, Madame! If you are going to be spending the winter here, I want you to know that you are to stay out of my way! I don't wish to be fed and I sure as hell will not be eating my meals at your side. I'm giving you shelter and nothing more! I don't even want you speaking to me unless told to….is that perfectly clear?"_

_How badly I wanted him to turn around. How badly I wanted to see his face. I could show him that I no longer feared it. I could look past his face and possibly come to love him._

"_Please, turn around, Erik….please, let me see your face."_

"_I…I can't…I can't show you my face, because there isn't one to show." his tone had softened. Was it possible that I had hit a nerve?_

"_Erik, I could look at you without fear, if only you would present yourself to me again. Ten years can change a person, can't it."_

_Erik grabbed his mask, and placed it on before turning around._

"_Yes, yes it can! It's changed me! I've learned from my mistake, and I sure as hell won't make that mistake again!"_

"_But…"_

"_No buts! It's better this way, Madame, much better!" _

_I didn't say another word to him, for I was afraid of being kicked out. That night after we were long since in bed, I found myself laying awake, looking at the fire. When I heard footsteps entering the bathroom, I looked over at Erik's bed to notice that he wasn't in it. For a few moments I continued to lay there looking at the fire, that was until I heard him groaning. Was he in pain? Slowly, I got to my feet, and walked towards the closed door, leaning my ear against it once I was there. Over and over again, the groans softly came. It sounded as if he were in agony, but I wasn't sure. _

"_Erik?" I knocked softly on the door, awaiting his answer. "Are you alright in there? You sound like you're in pain?"_

_The groans had stopped, but I didn't hear a word from Erik._

"_Erik?"_

"_What? Can't I be left alone to piss in peace?" he growled._

"_Do you have a urinary infection?"_

"_I'm fine!" he yelled. "Now leave me alone!"_

_Once more I feared his tone, and made my way to the kitchen to put some water on the burner to make tea. As I stood there with my back turned, I heard Erik's voice call me._

"_What are you doing?" I spun myself around to see him wrapping a robe tightly around his body._

"_Making tea. Would you like some?"_

"_No, I'm quite fine, thank you. I'm going back to bed."_

_He turned around to head back to his part of the flat, but I stopped him._

"_Erik?"_

_He paused._

"_Yes?"_

"_Were you alright in the bathroom just now? That's all I want to know."_

"_Yes, just….just fine."_

"_But you didn't sound…."_

"_I said, I'm fine!"_

_I grabbed his shoulder, and spun him around to face me._

"_Erik, you were not ok."_

_He pried my hand away from his shoulder._

"_Yes, I was. Now stop analyzing me, Madame!"_

_I couldn't take this, I couldn't take this hatred between us. He turned back around to start walking towards his bed again, but I spun him back around and tore off his mask. Everything silenced, and it was just the both of us standing before one another, his face haunting me just as much as it has the time I tore it off. My eyes grew blank, and my jaw dropped. God! He was so hideous! I couldn't scream because my mouth had run dry….no, I only backed up until I was right up against the kitchen counter. _

_Erik, my poor, poor Erik….his dark sockets were full of tears, and he turned away, one hand clenching his mask, and the other his chest…..god! I had hurt him again! _

"_Do…do you really want to know what I was doing in the bathroom?" he choked._

"_Erik…"_

"_Answer me!" he voice had risen to a terrible tone filled with tears and anger. _

"_Wh…what were you doing?" I was frightened to ask, but he answered me, choking on his tears._

"_Pleasuring myself…to you…For I know…that….I will never feel the joys…of the flesh. Women only fear me….especially you.."_

_This made the situation even worse. Oh, what have I done?_

"_Erik?"_

"_Get out! Get out!"_

_I had ruined what ever welcome I had been given. It was my fault! I quickly grabbed my cloak, and ran out of the flat in bare feet, the icy snow burning my toes upon first contact. I wasn't sure where I was headed, but all I knew was that I had worn out my welcome….and that that I would probably never see Erik again.._

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! Thanks guys! **


	6. Chapter 6

"_I live for one touch_

_One kiss or passing glance_

_One which would make my virgin body beg for the pain and pleasure of your sweet romance."- _Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_Christine was staying with me….Over and over again this ran through my mind. She was stuck here until spring, and until then I was going to have to deal with the pain of seeing her around me. After telling her to stay quiet, I had her follow me through the gates of Phantasma so I could start shutting my rides up for the winter._

"_What's Phantasma?" I heard her ask. Questions! So many questions!_

"_It's the park's name." I snarled._

"_But why is it called "Phantasma? If the creator were here right now, I'd ask him. What kind of name is that for a park?"_

_I stopped in place, and felt her bump into me. I turned to her, and looked into her green eyes, my body filled with such hate._

"_Well then, Madame, ask away."_

"_What?" _

"_You heard me!" I growled. "Ask me why I named this park "Phantasma?"_

_She looked at me, her eyes filled with horror._

"_You built this?" she asked. _

"_Yes, Madame, I did. Now would you please shut up!"_

"_So you're Mister E? You're the one everyone talks about?"_

_Once again, I stopped myself from walking, and turned to her._

"_Yes, now please, come along and stop asking questions. I have a lot of work to do before the day is out and don't need you holding me up."_

_It was quiet once again, and I was able to concentrate on getting to the haunted house to close it up for the winter. It was a creepy old building I designed off the same structure of my mother's house. Some of my worst memories happened in that house, and so I decided to bring the horrors to the people in Phantasma. _

"_The Haunted house?" she questioned. "Is it really haunted?"_

_I groaned, and pulled her along. I opened the front door, and hopped into the first car as Christine stood there watching. I didn't sit, just knelt towards the seat, and then looked over at her._

"_Do me a favor, and push the green button on the box beside you."_

_When Christine looked over at the box full of buttons and wires, she pushed the red button, causing the car I was kneeling in to back up and crash into the others._

"_Damn you, woman! I said green! Green! Not red! Don't you know one color from the other!"_

_My temper scared her, and she corrected herself by pushing the green button. When she did, the car I was in whipped around the corner and through the front door. Over and over again, I yelled for her to keep pushing the button. As each car arrived inside, I tied them down, and locked them in place. Though, when the final car came to a haut, I heard a scream…it was Christine!_

"_Would you stop screaming!" I yelled._

_I walked up the narrow track, and saw Christine cowering in the car as the rubber spiders dangled above her._

"_Do you know the secret of a haunted house?" I snarled._

_She shook her head._

_I tugged one of the spiders down, and flashed it in front of her eyes._

"_Everything is fake."_

_I threw the rubber spider in front of her face, and waited for her to get up._

"_I told you to push the button, not to take a ride."_

"_I was curious." she said. "It seemed so interesting, and I couldn't help myself."_

"_You could have hurt your voice."_

_Christine got out of the car, and I pulled her in front of me._

"_Stay close." I warned. "The track is very narrow here."_

_Once we were back outside, I shut the door and began walking off once again._

"_Where are you going?" she asked._

"_I have more rides to lock up for the winter."_

_Christine kept her mouth shit, and followed me to the rollercoaster. Beneath the deck where the cars were lined was a storage closet, and I opened it. Inside, I pulled out a large folded tarp, and motioned Christine to come forward._

"_Help me unfold this." I said. "Take an end."_

_She did as I asked, and pulled the tarp until it unfolded. Afterwards, we walked up the stairs that led to the deck, and I covered the cars with it. _

"_Keeps the snow off of them." I coldly stated._

_As I was finishing up with the cars, I couldn't help but look over at Christine who was looking out at the park. She was so beautiful, but I couldn't let myself fall for her…No, that was over. _

"_What are you looking at?" _

"_Everything." she said. "It's amazing."_

"_Well, I never imagined that my life would lead me to waste it on smoke and noise, but here I am ten years later."_

"_It's not a waste." I heard her say. "It's everything but a waste. Your mind is brilliant, and what you've created here is far more brilliant than any music you could have ever written."_

"_Do you think I enjoy running an amusement park?" I growled. "I, the Phantom of the Opera, enjoy running a place where others can wallow in happiness? I can't even obtain my own happiness; why would I want to see everyone else's?"_

_God! She made me so angry! I even kicked the coaster cars a few times before storming down the steps with my walking stick in hand._

"_You could have it, you know."_

_Her beautiful, angelic voice stopped me in my place. Oh, how her words struck my heart like an arrow. I would have believed her, but the pain of the past brought me out of such a wonderful daydream._

"_What? Pain? Is that what my happiness is supposed to include? Because if I know you well, and I'm pretty sure I do, you don't love me. Our life, my dear, would be as beautiful as my face….Do you remember that?"_

"_You were a murderer." she said. "I was scared. But I seen what good you can do. You built this place, Erik, and I know there is good in you."_

"_There was good in me ten years ago!" I swooshed my cloak over my shoulders coldly. "But you didn't care to see it! Now come along!"_

_As we walked along the boardwalk, I couldn't help but notice that my stomach was growling. There were very little times that this happened, but ever since Christine came to stay, I hadn't had the privacy to eat. Nathan's hotdogs was up ahead, and I did enjoy such a meal every once in a while….I guess it wouldn't hurt to treat myself._

"_Erik, where are we going?"_

"_I'm hungry. It's time to get some lunch."_

_I never knew what a hotdog was until Nathan came to Coney Island. He came from Italy, hoping to open his own stand. The owners of Coney Island thought his idea of a hotdog was completely ridiculous and sent him packing. I on the other hand understood the want of creating something completely different. And so when Phantasma opened, I offered to let Nathan open his own stand. It was a wonderful success, not only did everyone come from miles around to taste one of Nathan's hotdogs, but they also poured into Phantasma. I was now getting more crowds than usual just for the fact that Nathan's was located inside my park…_

_Once I entered the stand and approached the counter, Nathan was there to greet me._

"_Ah, boss, it's so good to see you again." His eyes turned towards Christine's way. "And what is this thief still doing with you?"_

_When I looked at Christine, I saw that her hood was up. She was being completely rude, and I wouldn't stand for it. I flung back her hood so that Nathan could get a look at her. _

"_She's a pretty woman." Nathan said. "What is her reason for stealing?"_

"_It's a long story. But to tell you the short version, she's a friend, and came over here without any money and made a horrible mistake. Anyway, she wanted to come make a full apology."_

_When she didn't answer, I bumped her shoulder to warn her to apologize._

"_I'm…I'm sorry, sir." She stammered._

"_And honest too. I like her, boss. What can I get for you?"_

_Over the past ten years, I had the privilege of trying every kind of topping possible. I knew this was Christine's first time eating a hotdog and didn't want to complicate it any more than it needed to be. I have come to learn that most of the toppings caused messes. I looked up at the menu and then back at her. Finally, I decided on the easiest topping and gave Nathan my order._

"_I'll take two with ketchup and sauerkraut."_

_Nathan disappeared, and returned with two strange looking tubes of meat on a bun. I always tried to pay, but every single time I came here, he wouldn't accept my money, and he didn't today/_

"_It's on the house." he said. "You should know that by now."_

_I walked outside, only to look back and see Christine looking around._

"_Come along, Madame." I instructed. "We must keep moving."_

_Once Christine was at my side, I handed her one of the hotdogs. Afterwards I bit into my hotdog, only to hear Christine giggle. Why was she giggling at me? We were standing near the maze of mirrors, and I was able to see my reflection in the mirror that was on the outside of the building. There it was; a red smudge of ketchup on the edge of my mask._

"_That's not funny!" I growled. "Just stop!" _

"_It wouldn't hurt for you to laugh once in a while." Christine handed me the napkin that was wrapped around her hotdog._

"_I don't laugh, because I'm hurt. Everything hurts inside."_

_Once Christine bit into her hotdog, she wiped her mouth with her sleeve._

"_Good?" I asked._

_she nodded. "Yes, very good."_

_A cold wind blew through me, and I looked up towards the sky to notice that it had changed from blue to grey. When this happened, it would snow…a storm was on its way and I didn't want to be out once it arrived._

"_Come, there's a storm coming and I have lots more to do."_

_For the remainder of the day, I finished up with storing the rides for the winter with Christine at my side. I locked up the maze of mirrors, pushed all of the swan shaped boats into the tunnel of love, and drained the water out of the log ride. By the time this was done, I felt something wet hitting me from the sky, only to look up and see that it was snowing. This scared me, and I quickly finished closing up the concession stand I was working on. When I was finished, I turned around but didn't see Christine standing beside me like she was. My heart skipped a beat as I tried to find her in the dense falling snow. When I saw a cloaked figure standing over near the end of the boardwalk, I sighed in relief. How dare she run off like that! How dare she!_

"_Don't run off like that!_ _What were you thinking?" I grabbed Christine's shoulders violently, as the snow continued to fall. "You are never to run off like that!"_

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_Sorry doesn't cut it! I'm crippled enough without having to wander around and wonder where you ran off to. What if something happened? I wouldn't be able to fight them off."_

"_Erik, I only meant to look out at the ocean. I swear this to you."_

"_Come, we're going home before we both catch our deaths out here."_

_She followed me back to my flat, where I built a small fire and plopped myself down at my desk. My face was in so much agony, that I removed my mask and placed it beside me. Usually while it was just me here, I would be able to move around my flat unmasked, but now that Christine was staying with me it was nearly impossible to get a moment of privacy._

"_Erik?"_

_It had only been silent for a few moments…why? Why was she talking to me? Was she bored already?_

"_Hmm?" I didn't look up, and continued writing. _

"_What are you writing?"_

"_Closing statements for Phantasma." I growled. "It would do me a great deal if you silenced yourself."_

"_It's warmer by the fire." she said. "You could come sit next to me and do your paperwork, couldn't you?"_

"_I'm quite comfortable where I am, thank you."_

"_You look cold."_

_God! Would I ever get a moment of silence? I was cold, but what was it any of her business?_

"_I'm fine."_

"_But…"_

"_What part of "I'm fine" don't you understand?"_

"_Would you want me to make something for us? I could make soup?"_

_That was it! I couldn't take her pestering any longer! I slammed my hands down on my desk, and groaned._

"_I want to make something very clear with you, Madame! If you are going to be spending the winter here, I want you to know that you are to stay out of my way! I don't wish to be fed and I sure as hell will not be eating my meals at your side. I'm giving you shelter and nothing more! I don't even want you speaking to me unless told to….is that perfectly clear?"_

"_Please, turn around, Erik….please, let me see your face."_

_She wanted to see my face…Why? Why would she want to see my face? The last time she seen it, she screamed and made my heart ache…_

"_I…I can't…I can't show you my face, because there isn't one to show." I was nearly in tears, but I held myself back._

"_Erik, I could look at you without fear, if only you would present yourself to me again. Ten years can change a person, can't it."_

_I grabbed my mask, and placed it on before turning to face her. Damn her for challenging me in such a way!_

"_Yes, yes it can! It's changed me! I've learned from my mistake, and I sure as hell won't make that mistake again!"_

"_But…"_

"_No buts! It's better this way, Madame, much better!" _

_The rest of the night was silent; I was even to able to crawl in bed without a single sound. For hours I laid there tossing and turning in my sheets, thinking about my past, but mostly Christine. I thought about her voice calling my name, her hands caressing my virgin body…But because I was a virgin, my hormones had gotten the best of me and I soon found myself stumbling into the small closet sized bathroom across from my bed before closing the door. When Phantasma was finished, and Meg was out of my hair, I usually touched myself in the comfort of my own bed, closing my eyes, and thinking about Christine making love to me as my hand pleasured me in such ways. I would pretend that my hands were her hands and that she was making love to me. For years I had remembered her voice, but after ten long years, that memory had begun to fade…until now. She called me by my name, and now, tonight, I had something I could play out within my head. I leaned myself up against the bathroom wall, and closed my eyes, touching myself with one hand as the other covered my mouth to silence the groans that wanted to come. I imagined that her hands were pleasuring me, and she was calling my name over and over again. With this image in my head, it wasn't hard to finish within a matter of moments. I was so close, but something distracted me…._

"_Erik? "_

_I heard her voice, it sounded so real. _

"_Oh, Christine…" my hand choked off such a loud groan. I was so close and her voice was so real, but then a knock occurred…God! It was real! She was outside the door._

"_Are you alright in there? You sound like you're in pain?"_

_Damn it! She heard me! She heard my groaning! At that moment I completely lost my train of thought, and my erection went away._

"_Erik?"_

"_What?" I growled. "Can't I be left alone to piss in peace?"_

"_Do you have a urinary infection?"_

"_I'm fine!" I yelled pulling up my pants. "Now leave me alone!"_

_I waited several moments to make sure she was completely gone before coming out of the bathroom and wrapping a robe around my body. But where was Christine? In the kitchen fumbling around with the stove._

"_What are you doing?" I growled._

"_Making tea. Would you like some?"_

"_No, I'm quite fine, thank you. I'm going back to bed."_

_I turned around to head back to my part of the flat, but Christine stopped me._

"_Erik?"_

_I paused._

"_Yes?"_

"_Were you alright in the bathroom just now? That's all I want to know."_

"_Yes, just….just fine."_

"_But you didn't sound…."_

"_I said, I'm fine!"_

_She grabbed my shoulder, and spun me around to face her._

"_Erik, you were not ok."_

_I pried Christine's hand away from my shoulder._

"_Yes, I was. Now stop analyzing me, Madame!"_

_I wanted to be left alone! I wanted to go back to my bed and sleep, but would she let me? No! I tried to pull away from her, but she did something I never expected! She tore away my mask! My fists clenched around my walking stick, and my blood began to boil! But something struck my heart…it was pain! Her eyes were full of horror, and her mouth had run dry…and to make matters worse, she had dropped my mask and was backing up against the kitchen counter. She feared me! She still feared me after all these years! The pain in my heart was so intense that I clenched my chest with one hand and picked up my mask with the other…._

"_Do…do you really want to know what I was doing in the bathroom?" I choked._

"_Erik…"_

"_Answer me!" I was sobbing now, sobbing red with anger and sorrow._

"_Wh…what were you doing?"_

"_Pleasuring myself…to you…For I know…that….I will never feel the joys…of the flesh. Women only fear me….especially you.."_

_I had embarrassed myself in front of her…she knew. She now knew that I pleasured myself to her image…and images were all I ever had. She couldn't stay here! Not any longer! _

"_Erik?"_

"_Get out! Get out!" I turned around and didn't stop her as she grabbed her cloak and ran out of the flat. I didn't care. For once I had the peace I wanted. I lit a candle and wrote music in silence all the way into the wee hours of the morning. The snow storm that had started out light began to get heavier as each out passed. As much as I despised Christine for taking off my mask, I still couldn't help but to look outside at the thickly falling snow and wonder if she was ok….No! I couldn't think like that! I couldn't think about her being out in the horrible storm, freezing….No! no… I couldn't think like that._

_I sighed, and placed down my quill, using my hand to wipe away the freezing cold moister on the window. When my grandfather clock struck four a.m, I blew out my candle, and stood up from my desk. After crawling into bed, I looked up at the ceiling, and then back out the window at the falling snow. _

_Why? Why couldn't I sleep? Why couldn't I stop thinking about Christine? When I couldn't sleep, I stood up and dressed myself. The snow had finally stopped falling, leaving Phantasma covered in two feet of snow. After placing on my leg braces and replacing my mask, I grabbed my walking stick and left my flat to get some fresh air. Phantasma was now closed for the winter, leaving my park deserted and covered in snow. A few of my freaks were out shoveling the snow as I walked towards the Phantasma café which stayed open all year long for the freaks who lived in Phantasma and worked for me. _

"_Erik!" I knew that voice anywhere. I turned around, and saw Meg coming towards me carrying her cup of coffee._

_Damn her! I told her to never call me by my first name!_

"_Erik…"_

"_Damn you, girl! I told you to call me boss! I don't need anyone around here knowing what my real name is!"_

"_Sorry…" she pulled her coat tighter around her body, and lit a cigarette. How I despised smokers! I didn't even have a nose, and yet the smoke still bothered me._

"_I'm busy, what do you want?" I growled._

"_So it's true? Christine's back?"_

"_How do you know?"_

"_She came into the café last night. She told me everything about how she's stuck here until spring and how you kicked her out."_

"_And why do you care?"_

_Meg ran her hands over my jacket seductively, and smiled, blowing a puff of smoke in my face._

"_I thought I was the only woman you needed."_

_I coughed, and backed away from her._

"_Stop it, Meg!"_

"_I'm only teasing; you know I'm not into corpses."_

_Meg always enjoyed teasing me, even though I hated every moment of it. If there was anything I hated, it was Meg's unfunny jokes and sexual references. She loathed me, and I loathed her all the same. _

"_Have you seen her?" I asked._

_Meg played with my cravat, and twisted her finger within it._

"_Feeling regretful are we?"_

"_Stop it, Meg! I'll have you fired if you keep these games up! Mister E doesn't take shenanigans from anyone!"_

"_And what? Loose your number one attraction?"_

"_Meg, have you seen her?"_

"_Not since last night. I offered to let her bunk with me for the night, but she refused."_

"_Well if you do see her, tell her that I have been asking about her."_

"_Should I tell her that you're sorry?"_

_Once more I pushed her away, and stomped away._

"_Just tell her I wish to see her!"_

_As I walked past the opera house, I couldn't help but notice a snow covered body laying on the front steps. I prayed to God that it wasn't Christine laying there, but as I got closer, my worst nightmare came true. Her cloak was stiff like ice, and her face was a pale blue color. I crossed my arms, and looked around as if I didn't care that she was laying there. Could I possibly let her die? Could I let Christine freeze? How badly I wanted to leave her, but my heart wouldn't let me! I brushed away the snow that was covering her body to notice that her bare feet were black and blue. She wasn't wearing any shoes! Why! As much as I hated it, I scooped her up into my arms, and covered her in my cloak. Damn my heart for feeling pity for her! It was hard for me to carry her with my legs being locked in braces, but I carried her all the way up the stairs and laid her in my bed. Christine! Christine was in my bed. I was embarrassed because my bed wasn't comfortable at all. The springs always pushed at my back, and the stuffing in the mattress was growing rather thin, but it would have to do. I built a fire, and threw every blanket I could find over her body to warm her up. My angel had hypothermia from staying out in the cold all night, and it was all my fault! If only I hadn't forced her to leave…if only I had ignored her! No! I couldn't think like this! I had a right…I had a right to do what I did…she deserved it! And now for staying out all night she would suffer…she deserved it! She deserved everything for what she did to me! Everything…_

* * *

**Ok everyone, thanks again! Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

"_And now I lay within your bed_

_Soaked and shivering from toe to head_

_Your corpse like body so filled with life,_

_Erik, give me the chance to be your living wife..." -_Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_Erik was not the Erik I remember. My Erik would have never thrown me out in the snow. My Erik would have forgiven me for tearing away his mask; this Erik was not the Erik I remember. The snow beneath my feet stung me as if I were walking on glass. They had become numb by the time I made it to the only lit building within Phantasma. It was a café, one that looked so warm and sheltered from the storm. Without even thinking, I threw open the door and walked inside. It was filled with oddities of all sizes, partying and drinking cider. I hopped up onto a chair that was at the bar, and the tall, creepy man behind the counter asked me what I wanted. _

"_I don't have any money." I embarrassingly stated._

"_Don't worry, I'll pay for you." that voice….I knew that feminine voice. I turned around, and there standing before me was Meg!_

"_Meg!"_

"_Christine…how are you?"_

_She sat beside me, and lit up a cigarette. _

"_I was doing fine until five minutes ago."_

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Raoul has been beating me. I didn't want to be with him any longer and I came over here to stay with Erik."_

_Meg blew out a puff of smoke, and laughed._

"_Erik? Please, Christine. When he was mugged, my mother sent me to stay with him. The whole entire time he did nothing but complain and force me to leave him be. Christ, he even kicked me out as soon as Phantasma was finished."_

"_I hurt him, Meg. I tore away his mask and he kicked me out." I placed my face into my hands, and groaned._

"_You tore his mask off? Christine, I was curious, but never dared to do such a thing. Look, I'm the Phantasma Olalla Girl. If you want, you could stay with me for the night. You could even stay with me up until Thanksgiving if you wanted. You could find a job, make some money and get your own place."_

_Thanksgiving? I never heard of such a thing._

"_What's Thanksgiving?" I asked._

_Meg put out her cigarette, and took a sip of her cider._

"_It's a holiday that the Americans celebrate every November. Look, I have to get going. Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?"_

"_Yes, I'm sure."_

_When Meg left, I finished my cider, and walked outside. I had no place to go, and was becoming exhausted as each moment passed. I thought about returning to Erik and apologizing to him, but I knew that would do nothing. When I couldn't walk any longer, I sought shelter on the stairs of what looked to be an opera house. They were freezing and hard, but it would have to do. I was so cold, but found the strength within me to close my eyes and fall asleep. _

_When I awoke, the first thing I noticed was something stabbing me in the back. I tried to move, but my feet ached in pain. And to make matters worse, I could hardly breathe. I was covered in tons of patched up blankets, and there was a fire roaring in the other room. Wait! I knew this place! It was Erik's flat, and I was in his bed! I managed to roll over to stop the metal springs from pressing into my back, and came face to face with his night table. There was a melted candle stick placed there, along with a picture frame that was face down. Curious, I reached out my blue colored fingers, and pried the frame to its upright position. I rubbed my eyes, and looked at the photo, only to notice that it was of me. It was me, standing on stage back in Paris. _

"_Enjoying yourself?" came a growl. _

_I gasped, and dropped the frame causing the glass to shatter onto the floor._

"_Damn you, girl!"_

"_I'm sorry…really."_

_Erik didn't say a word, and cleaned the glass up off the floor. _

"_Didn't your father ever tell you to keep your hands off of things that don't belong to you!"_

"_I didn't mean to, Erik."_

_Had Erik saved me from the cold? Had he brought me back to life?_

"_Erik, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for tearing away your mask. It was wrong of me to do so."_

_Erik didn't even seem to recognize my apology, for he just continued cleaning up the glass. _

"_Erik?"_

"_Your apology does not matter to me. You knew I was hideous and yet you still pulled away my mask." he paused. "Our life would be as beautiful as my face."_

_He finished cleaning up, and leaned over to pull the blankets back over me._

"_Just stay warm. You have hypothermia and I wouldn't suggest moving out of this bed."_

"_It's very uncomfortable. How do you sleep here?"_

_This angered him. He squeezed his fists, and turned to me in such rage._

"_I'm sorry that my bed is not good enough for you, Madame! I'm sure you're so used to sleeping in a lavish king sized bed with the handsome boy!"_

"_No…It's not like that, Erik, please…"_

_Damn me! Why did I even say anything? Erik turned away, and stood at the end of the bed, his breathing heavy and labored._

"_I'll….I'll get you your own bed within time. You deserve better than this, and I will see to it that you'll get your own bed. You'll need one anyway if you are to be spending the winter here."_

_He then walked away. I was stunned over the first nice thing he had said to me since I've been here. I waited anxiously for the rude comment that would follow it, but it never came. Had I possibly chipped some of the ice off his heart? I didn't know, but I didn't care either. He had said something nice, and that's all that mattered. I laid there coughing, and looking out Erik's bedroom window at the snow that had started to fall again. In the corner of the other room, Erik was sitting at his desk doing paper work as the fire crackled and burned. _

"_Are you thirsty?" I heard Erik softly ask. _

_I couldn't believe that he was asking me if I were thirsty. I never thought he could care about me after all I had done to him, but it was apparent that he still felt something within his heart. _

"_A little." I mewed._

"_I have something that will take away that horrible cough. It is rather annoying when I'm trying to work in peace over here."_

_Perhaps not. Erik wanted his silence back and nothing more. A few moments later, he brought in a steaming tea cup, and handed it to me. As I sipped the sweet tasting substance, I couldn't help but look over at Erik who was standing near the window. My gaze soon met with his legs that were locked within the braces. It looked awful painful, and I couldn't help but care if he were in pain or not._

"_Do they not hurt you?"_

"_Yes, terribly. But this is unfortunately the only way I can walk around without falling flat on my face." he paused. "Are you finished yet?"_

_I looked down at the tea cup, and sipped the last of the drink before holding it out to him. He set it aside, and opened the blankets to have a look at my frostbitten feet. They weren't black and blue anymore, but they still hurt._

"_You need to keep them within the blankets." he instructed. "It will get the blood circulating in them again."_

"_What about my back?" I asked. "The springs are pressing painfully against it."_

_Erik groaned, and he took an extra pillow from off the floor, and lifted me up enough to place the pillow down on the mattress before laying me on top of it. I was so close to him, that I could smell the cologne he had on, and hear the beating of his fragile heart. When my back was laying against the soft pillow, I couldn't help but smile._

"_Thank you, this is much better."_

"_Good, now let me get back to my work." he coldly replied._

_When he was seated again, I couldn't help but wonder about Thanksgiving. I never heard of it before, and knew that Erik probably had some knowledge on it._

"_Erik, what's Thanksgiving?"_

"_What do I look like? An encyclopedia? I'm trying to work."_

"_I'm sorry, it's just that Meg mentioned it when I was talking to her."_

"_Ah, yes, Meg…that little nuisance. I'll make you a deal. If I tell you what Thanksgiving is, will you let me get back to my work?"_

"_Yes."_

_Erik continued writing, as he spoke._

"_Thanksgiving is a holiday celebrated my the American people. It's a day to feast on turkey and go on about how thankful you are."_

"_You cook turkey?" I asked._

"_Madame, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Never have and never will, for I have nothing to be thankful for. Now could you please let me get back to my work?"_

"_When is it?"_

"_Next Thursday."_

_The room fell silent, and then I asked something I shouldn't have._

"_Could we perhaps celebrate it?"_

"_No, we will not."_

"_Why, Erik? Why can't we celebrate it?"_

"_For one, I have nothing to be thankful for, and two, I am not eating dinner with you. I let you stay here, isn't that enough?" he growled. "Another word of this Thanksgiving and you'll be back out on the streets."_

"_The Erik I knew would have given me anything my heart desired. Why, Erik? Why can't you be that person again? Your heart is full of ice. I'm only trying to make things pleasant between us. It's just dinner after all."_

"_I'll….I'll think about it."_

"_But…"_

"_I said I'll think about it!" he growled._

_The remainder of the day was mostly silent. I didn't want to make Erik angry again, but I knew deep down inside him, he still cared for me. When it got dark, he brought me a bowl of steamed lima beans, and set them down on the nightstand before approaching his armchair that was sitting beside the window. As I ate, I couldn't help but notice the pain he was in as he removed his leg braces. _

"_Maybe you should sleep in your bed tonight." I suggested. "You need it more than I do."_

_Erik braced himself, and used the metal bed frame as support as me made his way over to his wardrobe. _

"_Nonsense, I'll be quite fine. I hardly sleep anyway."_

_He pulled his sleep trousers and a long shirt out of the wardrobe, and stumbled backwards. I only thanked god that the bed was right behind him to catch his fall._

"_Are you alright?" I gasped._

"_Perfectly fine, thank you." he angrily purred, unbuttoning his shirt."_

_When he tried to stand again, he cringed in pain and fell back down. _

"_If it would be more comfortable for you to change sitting down, I'll turn away."_

"_Yes, that would be appreciated."_

_I could have sighed at that moment. His voice was tender as he said the second nice thing since I've been here. _

_I rolled over to my side to face the window was I heard Erik's clothes dropping to the floor. How badly I wanted to turn and have a peek, but I stayed the way I was. I was sure to be finally gaining his trust, and didn't want to break it. _

"_You can turn around now."_

_I did, and finished up my dinner as he took a seat in his arm chair, massaging his knees. His nightclothes were baggy on him, and I couldn't help buy giggle at how his sleeves dangled past his boney hands. _

"_Your bruises are finally starting to go away." he said, eyeing my face._

_Wait? Had he been looking at me since I got here? I touched the space beneath my left eye, and no longer felt pain. Raoul had given me a black eye right before I fled Paris._

"_How long has he been touching you?" Erik kindly asked. _

"_Years." I said remembering Raoul's abuse. "It started happening when I wasn't getting pregnant. We've tried lots of times, but it never seemed to work. He beat me because I couldn't give him a child, but most of all, he beat me because he was drunk."_

"_A husband should never do such a thing to their wife. Did he ever stop and think that perhaps it was he who was the problem? It's not always the woman's fault for not being able to conceive."_

"_What about you?" I asked. "Why haven't you found anyone to love over the past ten years?"_

_Erik looked down at his knees, and closed his eyes._

"_No one would ever want me. It was bad enough when I wasn't crippled. Women would laugh at me because of my mask, and point. It has only gotten worse since I was mugged. Now both men and women point at me."_

_I had upset him. He stood to his feet, stumbling to get away from me. _

"_Goodnight, Madame." he shouted. _

"_Erik?"_

"_Leave me alone! Just stop it!"_

_I felt terrible. I thought I had finally gotten through to him, but in reality I had only hurt him even more. Throughout the night, I watched Erik sit at his desk working with only a dim lit candle for light. I wasn't sure what he was working on, but he was working into the wee hours of the morning. I became thirsty at one point, and looked his way to ask him for a glass of water._

"_Erik?"_

"_Yes, Madame?" he cringed._

"_Could you please fetch me a glass of water?"_

"_Of course."_

_Erik placed down his quill, and disappeared around the corner, returning with the water I had asked for. He placed it in my hands, and watched me drink it, taking out his pocket watch and yawning. _

"_What time is it?" I asked, handing him the empty glass._

"_Quarter to three." he yawned._

_After pulling the blankets back over me, he disappeared without another word and I was able to fall into a deep slumber. I must have been completely exhausted, because when I woke, Erik's side of the room was rearranged. The bed I was in was no longer in the same spot it had been in the night before. No, the head board was now up against the window, and a few feet away from where I was laying, was another bed. It was much nicer than the one I was laying in. The headboard was carved from an expensive wood, and the sheets and blankets were red and white. The only thing separating Erik's bed from the new one was his night table which was in the middle. How had Erik moved me without waking me up? _

"_Erik?" I sat up, and saw Erik come limping around the corner, his legs once again locked within the metal braces._

"_What is it?" he asked._

"_You got a new bed?"_

"_It's for you. Like I said, if you are to be spending the winter here, you're going to need one. Oh, and I bought you a few outfits and stuck them inside my wardrobe beside my clothes. I'm sure the bed you're in is very uncomfortable."_

"_No." I assured. "It's fine…"_

"_Well, you have a new bed now, so I suggest you get into it."_

_Erik flew back the covers, and I cringed sitting up. My body was so cramped from having hypothermia, that I almost fell once my feet were on the floor. Luckily, Erik was there to catch me. _

"_Damn you, girl, look what you're doing."_

_I knew he didn't mean to yell at me, but helped me into the new bed. It was so warm and comfortable that I sighed once my body was on the mattress. Erik covered me up, and then tended to making his own bed which I had made a mess off. He straightened the sheets, and tucked the blankets tightly within the mattress before beginning to walk away._

"_Erik?"_

_He paused._

"_Yes, Madame?"_

_How badly I wanted to thank him, but I knew better. _

"_You can call me, Christine. You don't have to keep calling me Madame. It's rather annoying actually. Makes me seem like a complete stranger."_

"_Rest yourself…." he paused. "Christine."_

_I couldn't help but smile when he called me by my name. I rested the entire morning, until I felt well enough to get up. I made my new bed, and walked over to Erik's wardrobe. Inside, were racks of his overcoats and shirts, but beside them were a few dresses a new cloak, and even a nightgown. I picked a casual dress out, and smiled at its wonderful blue color. Before closing the closet, I fingered the sleeve of one of Erik's shirts, and held it to my nose. It smelled like him; that wonderful musty handsome smell. I sighed, and closed the door before changing into the dress and looking myself in the mirror. I looked pretty, like I used to look before Raoul started beating me. _

_In the other room, the fire was once again roaring, and Erik was napping hunched over his desk. It hurt me to watch him sleep in such an uncomfortable way, but I didn't disturb him and bounced into the kitchen. Even though Erik had treated me rather coldly, he had still done so much in the past few days. I wanted to do something nice for him, and so I decided to make him some lunch. The man was underweight as it was, and it pained me to know that he hardly ate. I opened the bread box, and pulled out a loaf of pumpernickel bread and went into the ice box to find stuff to make him a sandwich. I was able to find a tomato and a few pieces of lettuce to put onto the bread along with some slices of blue cheese. After the sandwich was completed, I cut it in half with a knife and set it on a plate. After filling up a glass with milk, I walked back out to find Erik awake and writing. I placed the glass and plate down beside him, and I saw his eyes slowly begin to move from his work to the plate which held his sandwich._

"_What is that?" I heard him ask._

"_Lunch. I thought you'd be hungry."_

"_Well I'm not." he went back to writing, and completely ignored my offering. "Take it away."_

"_Erik, I made you lunch. You have to be hungry."_

"_I don't eat when I work." he argued._

"_Well then take a break. You've been working all morning."_

"_Just leave me be! Damn it, woman!"_

_I knew the reason why Erik didn't want to eat. I knew he didn't want to take his mask off in front of me, and so I came up with a plan._

"_I'm going back to bed." I told him, walking around the corner to where our beds were. I stood there up against the wall, not making any noise, peeking around the corner to watch Erik. For a while he just wrote, but when he thought I was asleep, I saw him place down his quill, look around and then remove his mask, cringing as it was peeled away from his flesh. It hurt me to know that wearing it pained him greatly. It was then that he picked up half of the sandwich, and examined it before taking a bite. Soon, one bite turned into two, two into three, until the half was gone. _

_I didn't know what happened in his past, but knew it was something terrible because of the way he ate. He took each bite with caution, as if eating were a sin. He even ate the second half of the sandwich, and washed it down with the milk I had given him. Satisfied, I sat down in Erik's arm chair and looked out the window at the snow that was falling down. For a while I watched a few children play in the snow and throw snowballs at one another. How I wished to have a child to love and hold, but knew that it would probably never happen. I was disturbed, when I heard the bathroom door slam shut and then the horrible sound of vomiting. _

_God! Had my sandwich caused him to become sick? I made my way over to the door as quickly as I could, and opened the door. _

_Erik was on his knees with his head in the toilet, vomiting terribly for some reason. After each episode ended, he would gasp for air, and sigh right before the next one would hit him. _

"_Erik?" I knelt down, and rubbed his boney back sympathetically as he continued to vomit. _

"_Leave…" he couldn't even continue because he was met with another episode._

"_Erik, what's wrong?"_

_When he finally stopped, he fell backwards, and landed up against the wall as he cringed from the pain in his legs. _

"_I'm fine, just let me be." he pleaded._

"_You're sick."_

"_No, it's over now, just let me be. I ate your sandwich."_

_Great, I try to do something nice for him, and instead, I made him sick._

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_No, it wasn't you. I shouldn't have eaten it. There's not much I can really eat without getting sick. It's a problem that I've had for a very long time, it was my fault, not yours."_

_I stood to my feet, and decided to leave him before I angered him, only to hear his voice beckon for my help._

"_Madame, could you help me up?"_

_I turned to see him struggling to lift his body from the floor. It was strange hearing Erik ask for my help, but I did as he asked, and held out my hand, which he accepted and I was able to pull him to his feet._

_He didn't thank me, and just stumbled out of the bathroom, and to his arm chair. Once he was seated, he whipped a handkerchief out of his jacket, and wiped his mask and mouth. _

"_Are you going to be ok?" I asked. "I could get a doctor."_

_Erik waved his hand in front of me, and pulled away his handkerchief._

"_No doctors. I'm fine. It's an uncontrollable habit I have. Just go on about your business."_

_And that's exactly what I did. Erik wanted to be left alone, and so that's exactly what I did. I stayed out of his way as he worked, reading and looking out the window as the snow continued to fall. Once again, that night, Erik brought me some steamed peaches and I sat there in his arm chair eating them as Erik moved to the bathroom to bathe himself. As I sat there eating my dinner, I couldn't help but wonder what he looked like without any clothes? Was his body as hideous as his face? Or had his body been born handsome and unscathed? When he reappeared, he wasn't wearing his wig, and his thin hairs were soaking wet. He was dressed in his sleep trousers, and was busy buttoning up his nightshirt. _

"_You can bathe if you want to." he said taking a seat on his bed to place aside the braces._

_I agreed, and Erik took away my empty bowl as I walked into the bathroom. There was a rusty tub leaning up against the wall, and I filled it with hot water before sinking my body into the wonderful warmth. Sitting on the side of the tub were pink and golden filled bottles. I flipped back the cap of one, and inhaled the musty yet wonderful scent of Erik's bath soap. I washed myself with it, smelling my skin as Erik's scent seeped into my body. I missed his smell when he wasn't around, but now I would smell like him all the time. Afterwards, I stood in front of the mirror, brushing my hair and wondering what Erik had inside his cabinet. Curious, I opened it and found a bunch of medical vials filled with capsules, a few syringes and Erik's cologne. Was he ill? I wasn't sure, but quickly closed the cabinet when I heard a knock. _

"_Are you ok in there?"_

"_Yes, just about done." I assured._

_I came out moments later, to find Erik laying in his bed, his mask and wig laying on the night table. I couldn't see his face because his back was turned towards me, but I obeyed his privacy and crawled into my own bed. Erik never went to bed this early….I really did hope that I hadn't made him ill._

"_Are you sure you're ok?" I asked._

"_Yes." was his simple reply. _

_And with that, I fell asleep. Perhaps Erik had become a tiny bit nicer, but his heart was still as cold as a winter storm…But maybe there was a slight chance to warm it with my love….I hoped. _

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Please! Love you all!**


	8. Chapter 8

"_I hate not knowing whether your kind words are real or not_

_For the pain within me is not forgot._

_How I want to believe that what you say is true_

_But how can I trust thee and let my heart break_

_The moment I feel loved is the moment you'll take._

_Shatter and pull from my chest once more_

_Is my pulsating heart which for you, it only beats for..." -_Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_Christine wanted a Thanksgiving! How dare she ask it! I had been here ten long years, and never one had I ever celebrated any holiday, especially that specific one! It was a day to be thankful, but what did I have to be thankful for? I was a lonely middle aged virgin with no friends, wife or children! What did I have to be thankful for? Yes, I did care for Christine in some odd way, but I just couldn't let myself give her the time to break my heart again. Ten years alone had changed me, and for the better. I was no longer the naïve, love stricken man I had one been. Christine, however had changed as well. She used to fear me, but for some odd reason she tried babying me at every chance possible. _

_Christine needed a bed. My bed was far to unworthy of her, and stained with my scent. When she complained about the springs pressing up against her back, it hurt me to know that I was making her uncomfortable but I didn't let her know that…No, I simply let myself be angry at her for complaining. When I left to get her a bed, I brought it back and placed it right beside mine. And as if thanking me for my kindness, she made me a sandwich. Never had anyone ever made me anything….not even a sandwich. But what did I do again? I yelled at her. I couldn't help it. She deserved everything for what she had done to me ten years ago…but for some reason, I couldn't help but regret my anger. _

_I was underweight, always had been and always will be. I had an eating disorder that would cause myself to vomit whatever I ate. When I was a child trapped in the gypsy fair, I would vomit because of my weak stomach. It had followed me all the way up until now, only letting me eat a small thing once a day without having to vomit. Oh, but I was so hungry, and her sandwich looked and smelled so delicious. I promised I would only take one bite, but my one bite turned into two then two into three…soon the whole sandwich was gone! For the first time in years, I felt full. But my fullness only lasted a short amount of time, for within seconds I was running to the bathroom to vomit. It was my worst episode in years. I gasped as the vomit continued to come, but something felt different….There was a hand rubbing my back. Once more I vomited and turned to see Christine standing behind me. No one had ever comforted me like this….I was a mess and yet Christine was there behind me. But like a monster, I couldn't accept her kindness and yelled at her. _

_Even when I yelled at her, she didn't leave my side. She offered to get a doctor for me, but I refused. I thought I would have been alright for the remainder of the day, but my stomach continued to bother me. So much, that I bathed early and crawled into bed. Christine tried to say goodnight to me, but I didn't respond, no, I just laid there within my bed, trying to sleep. Why? Why had I eaten her lunch? Why? All through the night, I groaned in agony as my stomach cramped and pained me. I clenched it with my hands and twirled within the blankets. _

_But something happened…It was Christine. She appeared by my side and rubbed my back and held the chamber pot over my mouth as I vomited again that evening. No one had ever cared for me like this. No! I couldn't think like this! I couldn't let myself become love sick again, I wouldn't let it happen! I wasn't sure what else went on that night because I passed out after tiring myself from throwing up. When I awoke the next morning, I reached over for my mask and slipped it on before rolling over to my back. I opened my eyes to the sunlight that was coming in through the window above my head, only to notice that Christine's bed was empty and made. I groaned, and reached over on the nightstand of my pocket watch, but found myself too weak to open it. _

"_Erik?" _

_That voice! That soft yet wonderful voice was calling my name. I looked over at the doorway to see Christine standing there in her nightclothes holding a cup filled with some sort of drink, and a plate with a piece of toast on it. _

"_I'm fine." I assured in a cold tone of voice. _

_She was coming closer now, I could hear her. When she was right at my bedside, she placed the toast down on my night table, and held the cup towards me. How badly I wanted to yell at her, but I decided to let this one slide and accept the drink. When the cold water hit my lips, I slowly drank it down, and handed the empty cup back to her. _

"_Thank you." I murmured._

_Wait? I thanked her…No! Erik wake up!_

"_That piece of toast should settle your stomach." she said. "I emptied the chamber pot this morning too."_

_Damn me! Not only had I probably gotten vomit all over her, but she cleaned out the full chamber pot I had been vomiting into all through the night! If there was anyone who deserved to burn in hell it was me. How dare I let an angel clean up after the devil! _

"_Erik, I'm sorry about the sandwich yesterday, really I am. If I would have known…"_

_I put up my hand. I wouldn't let her take the blame for my mistake. It's not like she could have known._

"_No, Christine. It's fine, really."_

_I pushed my blankets aside, and sat up. When I looked down at my nightshirt, I noticed that the top was stained in my vomit. God! How embarrassing!_

"_I'll wash that for you, Erik."_

_Christine was offering to wash my clothes. I wouldn't let her! I refused to let her!_

"_No!" I screamed this, and I hadn't meant to….damn me!_

_Christine backed up, and nodded before carrying the cup away. I sighed in frustration, and stumbled over to my wardrobe closet to change. Once I was dressed for the day, I locked my legs into my braces, and limped to my desk._

"_Erik, you didn't eat the toast I made you." I heard Christine remind me._

"_I'm…I'm not hungry." I kindly said, dipping my quill into my ink canister. _

_I wanted to do something nice for Christine, but it had to be something small, something that would make her happy, but not hopeful. I still didn't want a thing to do with her, and I wasn't about to believe that her kindness towards me would lead to love. I knew it wouldn't because she was afraid of my face. _

_Perhaps I would let her celebrate Thanksgiving. Yes! That would be perfect. It would make her happy, and it wouldn't involve me. If she wanted dinner then she could cook it and eat by herself. This was perfect._

"_Christine?"_

"_Yes?" I turned to see her coming out of our bedroom…wait? Our bedroom? Why was I thinking this? This was my house after all! Everything belonged to me! _

"_I have to go into town." I told her. "Perhaps you could pick out a turkey and some things for Thanksgiving."_

_Christine's eyes lit up with excitement upon hearing this. She smiled at me, and I knew she was thanking me in her own way. _

"_That would be nice." _

_I finished up my paper work, and stood to place on my cloak._

"_Well then, we should be going."_

_The snow storm had stopped, leaving Phantasma covered in white, and the snow level up to my ankles. My walking stick helped me keep my balance as Christine and I made our way into town. There weren't many occasions where I would go into town, mostly because everyone pointed and stared at me. After mailing out my paper work, I led Christine to the butcher so she could pick out a turkey. Even then, the butcher stared at me as he wrapped up the fat turkey Christine had chosen. I turned away to avoid him, but I could still feel his eyes burning into my back._

"_It's not nice to gawk, sir." came Christine's soft voice. _

_She had stood up for me! No one had ever done such a thing. I turned back around, only to notice that the butcher was no longer staring. Oh, Christine…. I paid for the turkey, and followed Christine back outside. It was strange walking around town with Christine at my side, but I tolerated it. Yes, there was still love deep within my heart for the girl walking beside me, but that love was gone….probably for good. The pain in my heart kept me from ever becoming love sick within her presence. When we walked past a store window, Christine stopped and looked at the display of wedding dresses. _

"_What are you looking at?" I asked, stopping beside her. _

_She looked up at me and then back at the window one last time before moving on._

"_Nothing." she assured. "I'm cold, we should be getting back."_

_I wasn't sure what that was all about, but did as Christine wanted and led us back to the flat. Once inside, Christine unpacked the groceries while I prepared a small fire to warm us up. After hanging up my cloak, I made my way over to the piano I had on the other side of the room and sat down, not knowing what to play. I began to play a random soft tune I had written years ago, only to hear Christine humming it in the background. How did she know this tune? I never played it in front of her before. _

_I abruptly stopped playing, and turned around to see her bouncing around my kitchen. What was she so happy about?_

"_Why did you stop?" I heard Christine ask._

"_You were humming." I said._

"_I thought you enjoyed when I sang."_

"_Humming and singing are two different things." I shuddered. "Humming is something one does when they don't know the lyrics. Tell me, Christine, where did you hear that song?"_

_Christine placed down the cup she had been cleaning, only to turn to me with a look of concern across her face. _

"_I heard it one night when I was in bed. You were playing, and it echoed up to the dormitories." she paused. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."_

_It was possible. There were many a nights where I would play my organ into the wee hours of the morning. Those were nights when I was most alone and upset. _

"_You didn't. I…I just never knew someone had heard it."_

"_It's a beautiful song."_

_There were things I wanted to say…so many kind things. My heart was beginning to soar, ever so high…higher than it had been in ten years._

"_I…that is…I could teach…" _

"_Yes?"_

_Yes, my heart was soaring, but my anger quickly clipped its wings before it could get any higher._

"_Just go away and leave me be." I groaned. "I have work to do."_

_This hadn't been what I wanted to say. My body wanted to teach her the lyrics, and hear her sing them….but I couldn't let my love sickness come out again, for I knew once I heard her sing again, I would be hypnotized. As long as Christine didn't sing, I would be just fine. _

_My anger kept Christine away, for later that night, I sat within my armchair reading one of my many books as I heard her rummaging around in the kitchen. If there was anything paining me worse than my face, it was my legs. I had freed them of my braces, but still the pain burned through them like wildfire. To relax myself, I filled up my bathtub with hot water, and slipped my naked body down into the water. I lit some candles on the side of the tub, and laid my head against the back of it to relax myself. A hot bath always soothed my pain, especially the pain in my legs. For a while, I laid there reading a book in the dim candle light…I had even begun to drift off, until I heard a knock at the bathroom door. The sudden sound caused me to drop the book I was reading on the floor, and to grab my mask and place it back over my malformed face._

"_Erik? Are you in there?"_

"_Yes." I called out. "I'm bathing."_

"_I'm sorry to disturb you, but I really have to use the toilet. Could I come in?"_

_Christine? Use the bathroom while I was still in it? Dear god, no!_

"_Erik?"_

_What to do….I sunk my body down into the suds, and replied with a simple "Come in."_

_The door slowly opened, and Christine came walking in without even glancing my way. She made it over to the toilet and that's when I looked away. _

"_You've been in here a long time." Christine said._

_I kept my glance towards the wall, as I listened to her going to the bathroom._

"_I've been soaking my legs. They are in the worst pain possible."_

"_Could I ask you something?"_

"_Sure."_

"_The other night I opened your medicine cabinet to find it full of weird medicines. Are you ill?"_

_How dare she go searching through my medicine cabinet! How dare she! I let her stay here out of the kindness of my heart and what does she do? Rummages through my personal things. Indeed I was ill. Because of the condition my body was in and the open piece of skull on my head, I would receive a lot of pain from time to time. I always kept my cabinet stocked with plenty of morphine and sleeping pills just incase. Usually, I used the morphine at least once a week because of the terrible headaches I was so used to getting laid up with. _

"_I guess you could say that. I have a weak heart, and the piece of missing skull cause me a lot of pain." I said. "The morphine helps."_

"_I'm sorry, Erik."_

_With that, I heard the toilet flush and for the door to close again. I laid there for a few minutes more before getting up and wrapping the towel around my waist. When I stumbled back out into my bedroom, Christine was sat in my arm chair wearing her nightgown. I couldn't help but notice her eyes gawking at my exposed knees. She gasped, and went back to looking at what ever book she was reading. After being beaten, my knees had become twisted and malformed. I was told I would never walk again, but somehow, my knees had healed just enough to let me do just that. Before she could get a glance at my hideously scarred body, I threw on my shirt. _

"_Don't gawk at me." I sneered, crawling into bed. _

"_I'm sorry." Christine whispered softly. "I didn't know they looked….Oh, god, Erik I'm so sorry."_

_I sat there in bed, massaging them with my boney fingers. Pain, so much pain erupted within my shattered bones. _

"_There's no reason to be sorry." I coldly stated. "It is no one's fault but my own."_

"_That's not true."_

_How dare she go against my word! Damn her!_

"_Yes it is. I believed America was much safer than Paris, and didn't bother carrying around anything that could have prevented this. I was completely unarmed the night I was mugged. I should have known better…"_

"_Erik, don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, don't they?"_

_No! I, the Phantom of the Opera makes no mistakes! It was a tragedy that happened to me, not a mistake on my part!_

"_I don't make mistakes, Madame."_

"_But you're human.. Everyone makes mistakes."_

"_I am not a human!" I shouted. "I am a monster! _

"_Erik, you are not a monster. I have seen your heart, and what you have done to help me out…Erik, a monster is not capable of kindness."_

_When the pain in my legs became too much, I plopped back on my pillows and groaned. So much pain, so much agony filled my legs. Maybe I shattered the bones within it. Maybe I worked myself too hard. Damn me if I was to be confined to this godforsaken bed._

_But what happened next, took my breath away. Christine rose from where she was sitting, took an extra pillow from her bed, and approached me. _

"_You may not know this." she purred, clenching the pillow tightly to her chest. "But a few years ago I fell down the stairs and broke my leg."_

_How could god be so cruel? How could god let an angel fall? Wait? Why did I even care! Damn my body! Damn it to hell!_

"_I was forced to lay in bed for over a month. But there was one thing I learned from it. When my leg was in so much pain, I placed a pillow beneath it and it instantly soothed the pain."_

_It was then, that Christine placed her arm under both of my legs, and lifted them before placing the pillow beneath them. Oh, how the feeling of her arm against the backs of my legs teased my tortured body…How my head screamed no, but my body screamed yes! She then placed both of my legs down on the pillow as if she were handling fragile glass. And then, like the loving and caring….No, let me rephrase that….Like the spiteful actress she was, she brought the blankets up over me. _

"_Better?" she asked._

_It did feel a little better, but I wasn't about to tell her that._

"_Fine." was all I could muster. _

"_You have a very interesting library of books." she said. "I hope you don't mind that I read one."_

_Did I mind? Of course I did! My library was not only filled with classics from Melville and Poe, but also my private collection of different versions of the Kama sutra. I learned a long time ago, that pictures were the only thing I was ever going to see of the female body, and so if I were to live life as the virgin I was, the least I could do was fill my mind with the wonders of how making love was done, and the different styles of it. Oh, how embarrassing it would be for me if Christine ever opened one of my copies. _

"_Stay out of my library, woman!" I shouted it so loud I was sure I strained my vocal cords. "If you want a damn book to read you ask me, and I'll get you one myself!"_

_She seemed taken back by this. I don't think she thought I would mind her snooping through my library. _

"_I'm sorry….I…" she didn't even know what to say._

"_This is my home and you have no right to go through my personal things." _

"_You're right. I'm sorry, Erik, it won't happen again, I promise."_

_How badly I wanted to believe her, but I knew better than to do so. _

"_It's just that your stories are wonderful. You read the most romantic and dark stories I had ever seen."_

"_Christine, enough." I ran my fingers through my hair, and placed my hand over the exposed part of my skull. "I just want to rest. Tomorrow I have business to take care of in the Phantasma stables."_

"_Stables?" she questioned._

"_Yes, stables." questions! Why so many god damn questions!_

"_I never knew there were animals kept here."_

"_There are in fact ten horses, five dogs, two elephants and an outnumbered amount of cats. They star in the many shows here during the season. Sometimes in winter I must tend to them to be sure they're alright."_

"_I never knew you could care so much about animals."_

_This woman knew nothing about me. I had loved animals my whole life. It was only right to purchase some once Phantasma opened. I didn't just buy any animals of course, each and every animal I owned needed some kind of medical attention. I searched all over the country for people who were looking to rid of them. Most of my horses were former race stallions who's legs had been injured casuing stables to have no use for them. Both of my elephants had no tusks because poachers had taken them, and my dogs had been stays who had become injured in the fastly growing sport of dog fighting. Yes, each and every animal I owned came to Phantasma in need of medical attention, and were now healthy and happy because of me. _

_I felt bad for them because they were helpless, just as I was when I was trapped in a cage. Animals couldn't stand up for themselves against abuse, and neither could I. But now that I am free, the animal's were now my main priority. Perhaps I did have a heart for animals, but only because they were the only things that didn't give a damn about what I looked like. _

"_That's a lot of animals. Would it be possible for me to accompany you?"_

_Great, now Christine wanted to join me. I knew I wouldn't leave her alone within my flat, but something inside me wanted to. _

"_We're getting an early start." I warned her. "You better get to sleep."_

_The pillow beneath my legs cradled my pain, and let my body finally relax. I kept my back turned to Christine so she wouldn't have to see my face. And once the room was finally silent and in darkness, I pried away the white porcelain and sat it down on my night table. If there was one thing I enjoyed, it was the feeling of my pillow being pressed up against the open sores of my deformity. For years I have tried to design myself a mask that wouldn't agitate my skin, but so far, I haven't been successful. I have tried different felts and metals, but each one caused more damage to my skin than the last. If only I had been born with a normal face, if only everyone didn't care about what I looked like…I would give anything just to be able to walk around Phantasma without my mask, feel the wind against my bare flesh, and be left in peace. But I knew the terror that would soon come my way if I ever did such a thing. Yes, freaks bearing all shapes of oddities and deformities come from all over to live on Coney Island, but the truth of it was that I had never seen someone as hideous as me. In all my years of living on Coney Island, I had seen freaks marry and bear children. I have learned that the reason it hasn't yet happened to me is because I am the most hideous of them all. For I know that there is no knowledge beyond my comprehension, no art or skill upon this entire planet that lies beyond the mastery of my hand. And yet, like Faust, I look in vain . . . for as long as I live, no woman will ever look on me in love…not even Christine._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please, please please review! Love you all…**


	9. Chapter 9

"_When I look beneath your mask_

_My fear comes quickly _

_And I dash _

_Through the streets of a land unknown_

_Wishing I had stayed _

_And learned to love you and you alone…"- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_To say that I loved Erik was too strongly of words. Did I care for him? Yes, I did. As much as I wanted to love him, his face still haunted my soul. I knew I could never love him until my body could stare at his face without fear, and sadly that has yet to happen. I knew I cared for Erik, because when he fell ill, I stayed by his side the entire night as he vomited. It pained me to see him in such a state and I wanted to do anything and everything possible to help him. _

_In the early hours of the morning, Erik finally passed out and I covered him before cleaning up the mess he made. I emptied out the vomit filled chamber pot, cleaned the floor and made him some toast. It was like all my caring had gone to waste, because when he awoke he only became angry when I offered to wash his vomit stained pajamas. When he yelled at me, I backed off, and went about my business. I thought perhaps nothing could change his heart, but that wasn't the case, because moments later, Erik offered to take me into town to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving. It made me happy to know that he was willing to let me celebrate the holiday. Our outing made me extremely happy. Erik allowed me to buy some vegetables and a nice sized turkey. What made me angry was when the butcher that was wrapping up our turkey began staring at Erik. It pained me to see people staring at him because of his face. Erik simply turned his back on the man, but I stood up for him. _

"_It's not nice to gawk, sir." _

_That immediately fixed the problem. The man stopped staring, and finished wrapping our turkey. I knew Erik would never say anything about it, but he seemed grateful that I had stood up for him. On our way back to the flat, I couldn't help but think about the thought of being able to look past Erik's face and love him. I knew if I loved the man within him, I could look past the hideousness of his face. In the window of a shop, I noticed it was decorated with a few beautiful wedding dresses and trinkets. I stood there in front of one of the dresses, thinking about what mine and Erik's wedding would be like. I knew it could be even more beautiful than the one I celebrated with Raoul. _

_But my day dream was cut short when Erik interrupted._

"_What are you looking at?" came his soft voice._

_How could I ever tell him that I was thinking about marrying him? I couldn't. Erik was such a gentleman. He always put me before himself, even though he would never admit to it. When we arrived back at the flat, he made a fire, while I unpacked the groceries and placed the turkey in the ice box. I was as happy as could be, but when I began hearing the soft tune of the piano being played, my heart began to soar. It was Erik! He was playing a song I had once heard when I lived back at the opera house. I had been laying awake one evening when I heard its soft echo seeping up through the floor. I knew the rhythm of this beautiful tune, and so I began humming it. And just as fast as the tune began, it came to an abrupt halt. Why? Why had he stopped? I thought my humming would have made him happy, but it only made him angry. He had asked me where I had heard it, and I told him the truth. I told him how beautiful the song was, and how I loved it. _

_I waited for his anger to start again, but something seemed different about him. He placed his hands gently over the keys, and murmured the most beautiful thing._

"_I…that is…I could teach…"_

_I wasn't sure what he was saying, but it was beautiful and kind. Did he possibly want to teach me the lyrics? I answered him, but he only told me to leave him alone. In my mind I believed that Erik truly wanted to love me, but his heart was afraid of being hurt again. For the remainder of the day, I kept to myself so I wouldn't anger him again. When I prepared myself some dinner, I wanted to offer him some, but knew better than to do so. By the time I finished cleaning up the dishes, I had to go to the bathroom. It was only when I was standing outside the door that I noticed it was closed. From inside, I heard the rustling of water, making it obvious that Erik was inside. I hated the thought of disturbing him, but needed to go so bad. I gently knocked, and called his name. _

"_Yes. I'm bathing." came his reply from inside the bathroom._

_How embarrassed I was to ask such a thing, but I needed to go really bad. He hesitated for a few moments before agreeing and I walked in keeping my glance on the toilet and not on Erik's naked body. How badly my eyes wanted to look his way, but dared not to. When I sat down, I slowly turned my eyes towards him to notice that all of his body was under a cloud of suds, and his face was turned towards the wall. I thanked god that I couldn't see his body, but the exposed part of his skull was still just as strange and hideous to look at as his face. Then I thought that perhaps the medicine in his cabinet was for his skull. Like an idiot I asked, only to find out that not only was his body in constant pain, but he also had a weak heart. My angel, my everything, had a weak heart. How could I have left him all those years ago? Oh, if only I knew this back then. But even then, would I have stayed? _

_I was at a loss of words, and gave him a quick "I'm sorry." before leaving the bathroom. My poor, poor angel. He's been through so much pain and so little love. I slipped on my night gown, and decided to occupy myself with one of the many books Erik had on his shelf. There were books of all shapes and sizes. Some bound in leather and others in paper. I removed a small one, and sat down in his armchair to read. Erik always did have great taste in literature. The stories he read were s romantic and eerie. When I heard the door open, Erik was coming out with a large towel wrapped around his body, but his knees were exposed. Oh, his knees were so malformed. They were twisted and when he walked, he limped. If only I had been here, if only I had stayed…none of this would have happened. He would have had a caring wife to nurse him back to health through his recovery. My poor, poor, angel…I gasped at the mere sight of them, and turned my glance back down to the book I was reading. _

"_Don't gawk at me"! came Erik's angered tone. _

_How embarrassed I felt! I shouldn't be looking at him, why had I done it? Curiosity perhaps? It didn't matter, it was still wrong. Erik blamed himself for what happened to him. I tired to convince him otherwise, but Erik only blamed himself harder. He was now sitting there on his bed massaging his twisted legs, cringing in agony, not being able to get comfortable. I knew it was better to stay away, but I wanted to help him. I explained to Erik about the time I broke my leg after falling down the stairs, and used a pillow to cradle it. I touched him…god, for the first time I touched him willingly. I picked both of his frail legs up and placed them down on a pillow before covering him up. He seemed shocked by my touch, but his anger butted in. When I told him about how interesting his books were he scolded me and told me to never touch his stuff again. When his anger calmed down, he told me he was going to the stables to check on the animals in the morning. When I asked if I could join him, he agreed and told me to get my rest. Satisfied with his answer, I closed my eyes and went to sleep. _

_The following morning, it was Erik who woke me up. When I opened my eyes, I saw Erik standing over my bed dressed in his cloak and hat. He growled an angry "Get Up" and walked around the corner. Fifteen minutes later, we were out the door on the coldest morning I had experienced on Coney Island by far. Erik didn't say a word as he led us towards a tall brown building on the other side of Phantasma. Why did he have to be so grumpy? Even if he did loath me, there wasn't a reason he couldn't speak to me on our journey. _

"_So how did you sleep?" I bravely asked after being sick of our silence._

_Erik took out a key and unlocked the stable door._

"_Very little." was his simple reply. _

_The door creaked open, revealing a long walkway covered in hay with the sound of horses neighing in the background. _

_I stayed by Erik's side, as we began to walk down the long stretch, stopping at the first closed in gate. Inside was a beautiful black stallion who was kicking it's feet into the hay. I was frightened, and backed up a bit, but Erik….oh, Erik stepped forward and embraced its muzzle, making small shush sounds._

"_It's ok Cesar.." Erik cooed. "It's just me."_

_The horse instantly calmed itself, and began pushing its muzzle into Erik's hand. It amazed me to see how loving Erik was towards the horse._

"_Cesar?" I questioned._

_Erik unlatched the gate and stepped inside with the horse, patting him on the back._

"_Yes, he's my special horse. I saved him from being euthanized."_

_Erik took a brush that was hanging on the stable wall and began to run its bristles through Cesar's mane._

_I took a few steps closer, and reached out my hand towards Cesar's mouth. A soft neighing sound occurred before he pushed his soft muzzle into my hand._

"_What's wrong with him?" I asked. "That someone would want to destroy such a beautiful animal?"_

"_Cesar was a race horse. Since birth he was forced to run a track with several other horses. How much can you possibly expect a horse to run before its ankles and legs become weak? Cesar broke his leg after falling on the track. They were going to destroy him, but I couldn't let that happen."_

_Erik bent down to Cesar's front left leg, and gently picked it up and bent it._

"_Humans believe they can use animals and destroy them when they become useless. But with a little care and love, they can be as good as new. Yes, Cesar may not be able to run anymore, but he trots just fine." _

_Erik patted Cesar's back and smiled. "Right Cesar?"_

_Erik hung the brush back on the stable wall, and filled his troth up with oats before re-latching the gate. _

"_Come, there are more animals to look after." _

_Along the way to the next stable, a Siamese cat ran up to me and rubbed itself up against my ankles. _

"_That's Ayesha." Erik said scooping the small kitten up into his arms. "Found her last winter. She keeps me company sometimes."_

_Erik set the cat up on the table gate, and unlatched it. Inside was a husky that was missing an ear with four puppies laying beside her. The dog wagged its tail as soon as Erik entered. It was obvious that it knew who Erik was. _

"_All the animals in my stable were injured one time or another. I have a few dogs that were hurt in the growing sport of dog fighting. Tundra, here, lost her ear."_

_One of the puppies ran up to me, and wagged its tail. _

"_You're very kind, Erik. To take in all these animals."_

"_If not me, than who?" he questioned. "No one else would want a dog with one ear or an elephant with no tusks. Just like no one wanted me; a boy without a face."_

_This broke my heart. My poor Erik had been rejected since birth. _

"_Didn't you have anyone to love you?" I asked. "Not even one?"_

_Erik gently pushed the puppy back inside the gate, and locked it._

"_No." was his cold reply. _

_He didn't bother waiting for me to catch up to him. He stormed to the next stable that housed an elephant and filled their troths up with food. I ran to the open gate, and stood there watching him work in sorrow._

"_Erik….I'm sorry…"_

"_No, it's none of your business." he growled. "You didn't care ten years ago when you called me hideous and ran away and you don't care now."_

"_I didn't know you were always alone." I was choking on tears. _

"_My mother locked me in an attic that was freezing in the winter and scorching hot in the summer." Erik kicked over an empty food bin. "She made me wear a mask that gave me abrasions and beat me if I took it off." _

_Erik paused, and began sobbing with his back turned towards me._

"_On my seventh birthday…I…I asked my mother for a kiss. She never kissed me…God, I have never been kissed. She beat me for asking for a kiss. My own mother was so disgusted with me that she didn't want to kiss my hideous face."_

_Erik was now on his knees, sobbing hysterically into his hands._

"_I ran away, I ran away from home to make my mother happy."_

_Tears were rushing quicker to my eyes, and I found myself standing right behind Erik. He needed to know that I changed..he needed to know that I cared. This man, this wonderful man kneeling before me had built Phantasma, taught me how to sing, and how to live….when in reality, he never lived for himself. I knelt before him, and lifted his chin to face me. His blue eyes were red and watery, and his mask was glossy with tears. _

"_Erik, that's in the past." I assured. "You have someone to talk to; someone that will listen. You have me."_

_And then before he could push me away, I embraced his skeletal body and hugged him. I wrapped my arms around his back, and heard him gasp. That gasp sent shivers through my spine. But something wasn't right….his hands weren't touching me, they were trembling at his side. Had this man never had a hug before? His whole body was shuddering with sobs as our hug continued. _

"_Oh, Christine…."_

_I let that hug last for several minutes, never pulling myself away from him. Even when I ended it, his arms were still at his side. Maybe he was too nervous to hug me now, but someday I would get his arms to wrap around me. I stood to my feet, and outstretched my hand to help him up, but he didn't accept it. _

"_Come…" he wiped away the tears that were streaming down his mask. "I have many more animals to tend to."_

_Erik was right. I followed him as he tended to a few more horses that all had similar injuries to Cesar, and a few more dogs. Once Erik was finished, he locked up his stable, and I followed him towards town. Where were we going now?_

"_Erik, home is the other way." I said._

"_We're not going home. It's lunch time."_

_I wasn't sure what Erik had in mind, but when we arrived at a local diner, Erik held the door for me. Inside were a few booths lit by a single candle, with a quiet surrounding…Oh, it was so romantic. It reminded me of the café's in Paris. A waitress approached me carrying a few menus, and smiled._

"_Just one?"_

"_Two." from behind me, Erik appeared, and the smile on the waitress's face turned to a look of horror. _

"_Um..ok…follow me."_

_This angered me! How could she look at Erik in such a way? She led us to the farthest booth, and placed down our menus before walking away. _

_Once Erik and I were seated, he folded his hands on top of the table and looked at me._

"_You are hungry, right?"_

_I nodded. "yes."_

"_Get anything you wish."_

"_What of you? I don't want you to get sick again."_

"_Water and a salad will do me just fine."_

_As I looked down at my menu, I couldn't help but wonder why Erik couldn't eat?_

"_Erik, why does food make you so sick?"_

"_Nothing much to tell." he said looking down at his hands. "I've always had a weak stomach. After all that I've seen and been through I don't blame myself."_

_God, how much has this man been through? How much pain has he endured?_

"_Erik, what have you…"_

"_No." he snapped. "I'll ask you not to ask it again." _

_When the waitress came back, she kept her glance down at her note pad._

"_What can I get you?"_

_There were so many things to choose from, but if Erik was going to suffer through nothing but a salad, I decided to do the same. _

"_Two salads and two waters."_

_Erik's eyes grew wide upon hearing this. _

"_No, Christine."_

_I smiled._

"_You said I could have anything I wished for, and a salad and a water is what I want."_

"_You don't have to suffer because of my weak stomach."_

_I giggled. "I'm not suffering. I rather enjoy salads. But would it be alright for me to ask you something?"_

_He simply nodded._

"_Why take me to lunch? You seem to hate me."_

"_Not hate you. It be a sin to hate an angel like yourself. I actually don't know why I brought you to lunch, but I do know that you gave me something I never felt before."_

"_The hug?"_

_Once more he nodded. _

"_You don't have to reward me for giving you such simple things that everyone should experience for themselves."_

"_Yes, I do. You don't know how many years I've yearned for that, especially from you…"_

_My breath caught inside my throat. Did he still love me?_

"_Oh dear god, I'm sorry." he growled. "I shouldn't have said that….I didn't mean it, really."_

"_I've wanted it from you too, Erik."_

"_Enough…I said I didn't mean what I said."_

_An awkward silence fell over us and I didn't know what to say._

"_Christine." his voice was calm and kind. "Having you here is something I thought would never happen, and as far as I'm concerned you're here until April and not a moment longer. Your husband….your husband will be missing you."_

"_I'm not going back to him." _

_How could Erik ever expect me to go back to him after all he's done to me? How could he want me to be tortured by that drunken fop! I knew if I ever returned to him it would be the death of me._

"_Christine, you must, he's your husband."_

"_Be as it may, Erik, but I still won't return to him. He beat me, Erik. Doesn't that mean a thing to you? Does your heart not fleet one single ounce of love for me? Oh, Erik you must feel something."_

_Erik tapped his long, slender fingers on the table and looked up at me._

"_And what of you, Madame? Ten years ago did your heart fleet for my love?" _

_He didn't even let me answer, for he snapped back._

"_No, I didn't think so. Oh, Christine how my heart used to thrive on the thought of you loving me. But when you left after saying such cruel words that shattered my heart, my love for you hardened and turned cold. I don't care if you ever return back to the boy, but come April you will be on the first vessel out of New York. I left Paris to get away from you, and refuse to leave Coney Island….I was here first."_

_And then I said the words I shouldn't have said._

"_I could learn to love you."_

"_Learn? Learn? What do you play me for? An idiot? I don't wish anyone to learn. I don't want anyone to learn. Nothing and no amount of time spent with me would teach anyone to love me. I'm hideous, and I don't want false love. I want what everyone else has. I want love, kisses, passionate love making…nothing and no one could ever dare to look at me and love…."_

_It was then that the waitress brought us our lunch. I sat there picking at the lettuce in my salad watching Erik slowly eat._

"_Does it pain you to eat?" I asked._

_Erik looked up from his salad, and took a sip of his water. _

"_Not if I eat slow. How's your lunch?"_

"_Fine." I looked down at his hands to notice that they were gloved._

"_Why do you always wear gloves? I hardly ever see your bare hands."_

"_Why would you want to?"_

"_Is there something wrong with them?"_

"_Enough, Christine."_

"_Well, is there?"_

_Erik looked down at his salad, and pulled his hands close to his chest._

"_They're hideous, just like my face." he shuddered. "You wouldn't want to see them."_

"_But I do, Erik. Would you show them to me?"_

_Erik looked down at his hands, and then back at me._

"_Perhaps another time. Just finish your lunch."_

_I did just that, and once we were both finished, Erik and I began to walk up to the cash register to pay. But as we were walking down the isle, Erik was tripped and he fell flat on his face. In a booth to the side, a trashy dressed man laughed as I knelt down to help Erik up. _

"_Freaks don't belong in these parts of Coney Island." the man snarled._

_When Erik stood up, I couldn't help but notice that his lip was bleeding. I was appalled by what the man had done to my Erik. I turned around, and slapped him right across his laughing face._

"_You should be ashamed of yourself. Hurting a man who has done nothing to you."_

"_And what are you?" questioned the man. "His whore? Fuck freaks do you?"_

_Erik quickly came to my defense, and wrapped his hands tightly around the man's neck. _

"_You shall not speak to her like that!"_

_God! Erik was going to choke this man! No…he couldn't kill again. I thought Erik was going to kill this man, but instead, he threw him into the booth and began walking out with me following behind him. _

_Once we were back outside, I spotted Erik wiping the blood from his lip with a handkerchief. _

"_Are you ok?" I caught up to his side, and took the handkerchief from his hand._

"_Oh, Erik your bottom lip looks so sore."_

_I wiped it for him, and lovingly pressed the handkerchief to his wound._

"_I bit down on it when I fell." he said._

"_Apply pressure to it."_

_Erik forced himself out of my grip, and stormed off into the thick winter fog._

"_I don't need your help!" he shouted. "I don't need anyone!"_

_I felt so terrible for him, but I swore to myself to make Thanksgiving the best day of Erik's life…this I promised…_

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Love you all!**


	10. Chapter 10

"_My angel is the one who looks over me_

_My angel is the one who cares about me_

_My angel who has beautiful eyes_

_My angel has brown hair_

_My angel will be there to hold me_

_My angel keeps me warm_

_My angel is the one who is always on my mind_

_My angel is the love of my life_

_My angel is the one in my dreams_

_My angel has soft kissable lips_

_My angel will catch me when I fall_

_My angel will make me smile when no one else can_

_My angel will love me for who I am_

_My angel will be there until the end of time_

_She is the angel god gave me"-_Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_That night as I laid in bed, all I could think about was the hug Christine gave me. My first hug, given to me by my angel. I was laying there sobbing into my hands in the middle of the stable, when Christine knelt beside me and embraced my body. In all my life, I have never felt something so wonderful. Feeling her arms wrapped around my body sent my heart fluttering. I don't know why, but I took her to lunch. Why? Why had I done such a thing? Why had I done such a foolish thing? I never ate in town…but after that hug, I dared to walk into town like a human being….But the hatred of men brought me right back into reality. I fell asleep that night, not saying one word to her…How could I? _

_I awoke on the morning of Thanksgiving, and pulled the blankets up over my head to block out the sunlight that was gleaming in through the window. As I laid there with my eyes closed, I began to smell something very good. It smelled like warm apple pie. Wait? Was Christine cooking? I flung back the covers, and slowly sat up, running my hands over my balding scalp. I then reached over for my braces, and locked my legs into them before standing up and throwing my robe on. Before walking out to the kitchen, I placed on my mask, and grabbed my walking stick. As I came around the corner, I spotted Christine bouncing around the kitchen, cooking and humming a soft, happy tune. The sight of her brown curls glowing in the sunlight made my heart leap. _

"_What are you doing?" I asked coldly._

_Christine turned with a steaming pie plate within her hands._

"_You're up. How did you sleep?" she asked._

"_Fine, I guess…"_

_Christine put the steaming pie on the windowsill, and went back to the counter to roll out some floury dough._

"_How long have you been up?" I asked._

"_Since sunrise. There was so much cooking to be done that I couldn't wait any longer."_

_I walked over to my desk, and took a seat while Christine continued to move around. _

"_It's a beautiful day." Christine stated._

"_No different than yesterday." I picked up my quill, and began writing._

_It was then that Christine came walking over with an apple filling covered spoon in her hand. _

"_Here Erik, you have to try this." Christine held it towards my face, but I pushed it away._

"_Would you stop. I'm trying to work."_

"_Apple pie is your favorite."_

_How did she know that? How in the world did she know apple pie was my favorite?_

"_I never told you that."_

"_Yes you did. You told me back in Paris."_

_I never knew Christine ever listened to me. Out of all the conversations I had with her, never did I ever believe that she was listening. Ten long years, and she still remembered that my favorite pie was apple. _

"_Erik, I've always listened to you."_

"_Just let me work."_

_When Christine was out of my hair, I continued working._

_It was then, that Christine looked out the window and gasped in excitement….Damn! She discovered the parade. A few years ago while I was bed ridden, I was not only offered money in return for carousel music, but I was also asked to design a few floats for the Thanksgiving parade. I refused to watch the blasted parade, but the money I received for designing them suited me just fine._

"_Erik! What's going on down there?"_

"_The parade." I didn't look up nor did I stop writing._

"_What are those beautiful colored things?"_

"_Floats. I designed them. Now could you please just leave me alone."_

"_Oh, Erik, they're so beautiful. Could we get closer?"_

"_There's a balcony on the other side of the room…enjoy."_

_A few moments later, I looked up from my work to see Christine standing out on the balcony, looking down at the parade with a huge smile on her face. Why couldn't I let myself bring her such joy? Why couldn't I just let myself love her like my body wanted to? She gave me my first hug, why did I feel so obligated into making her happy? That very hug thrived within me, making me want to beg her for another one, and yet, my anger sat upon my shoulder like the devil, warning me that loving her would only bring back heartache in the end. But even still, my body and heart couldn't just let this moment of kindness pass. I wanted us to be even, and I knew this was my way._

_I stood up from my seat, and slowly walked out to the balcony she was standing on. I hardly ever used it due to my hatred towards people. The air was cold, and the wind cut through me like a knife. I pulled my robe tighter against my chest, and stood beside Christine. _

"_You seem to be enjoying the view." I kindly stated…All I had to do was stay calm enough to get me through this._

_Christine turned around, and smiled at my appearance. Oh, how her smile warmed my cold heart._

"_I never told you this, Erik, but you're a genius." she leaned over the railing to get a closer look at the colorful floats that were passing by the crowds that lined the streets. _

"_You don't have to say that."_

_She turned to me, and her hand reached up towards my mask. I tried to pull away, but her hand landed right over the part of my misshapen lip that had been injured the day before. The soft feeling of her fingers against my flesh was like tasting heaven._

"_That looks very sore." her finger glided over my lip. "I feel bad about what happened."_

"_It will heal."_

_How I loved her touch more than anything in the world, but like the monster I was, I pulled away. _

"_Erik, I know how much you and I don't get along, but there is something I want to ask you."_

_What? What could she possibly want out of me now?_

"_There is nothing more I will do for you, Christine."_

_Why did I always have to be so cruel? Oh, those horrible words….but in reality, it was really my heart. My heart was making me say these things only out of protection. For my heart knew that loving Christine would only burn me in the end. _

"_It's not much." she kindly argued. "It's just that I wanted to ask you to have dinner with me."_

_Dinner? Dinner? How dare she ask me to join her? I let her celebrate Thanksgiving and what does she do? Want to include me! _

"_I told you before that I have nothing to be thankful for. That is why I will not be joining you for dinner."_

"_You may not have a thing to be thankful for, but I do. Please, Erik, please say you'll join me for dinner."_

_I fought tooth and nail to say no to this girl. I bit my tongue and wanted to scream "no" over and over again….but my heart backed down and let me obey her request. _

"_Only dinner?" I questioned._

_She nodded. "I ask nothing more of you."_

"_Then I will join you."_

_With that, I walked inside and locked myself within the bathroom. I was hideous, and yet I was to be having dinner with Christine. Why did I care so much to look respectable for her? But I still wanted to look normal, so I bathed and dressed myself in my best suit. I also placed on my wig, and looked at myself within the bathroom mirror before walking out. I still looked like a hideous mess, but better than I would have without my mask. By this time, Christine was setting the table, and my flat smelled wonderful. As much as I hated this, I sort of enjoyed it…. Never did my flat look and smell so…so loved. _

_I stood there, my hands sweating around my walking stick. _

"_Is…Is there anything I could do?"_

_Christine looked up from her spot, and gave me a beautiful smile._

"_No, dinner is cooking. Probably about another hour or so."_

_As much as I loathed Christine, the thought of her working herself to death over dinner stung a bit. It was as if she were my slave, and she wasn't. I took a seat in my favorite arm chair, and began reading by the fire. This was like a dream I would wake up out of when morning came. It was like I would wake up in my cold uncomfortable bed to see the fireplace covered in cobwebs and Christine gone. In all of the ten years that I've been here, never has my flat smelled and looked as sweet as it did. Ten years ago this was exactly what I wanted, and now that I had it, there was something inside me that wanted it gone. But then there was another part of me that wanted it to never end. _

_When my grandfather clock struck the hour of two, my hands began to sweat again. I wiped my gloved hands over my trousers, and stood up from my seat. As I did so, Christine was standing in the door way with that beautiful smile lighting her face._

"_Erik." she softly called my name, as if she were begging me to make love to her….No! I wouldn't think like that…It was so wrongly of me to do. "Dinner is ready."_

_My heart was racing a mile a minute as I stepped around the corner to see a table set for two, a candle burning in the center, with delicious smelling food surrounding it. Like the gentleman I wanted to be, I pulled out her chair, and Christine took a seat before I did the same. I looked down at my empty plate, never feeling so hungry in all of my life. The turkey looked great, the pots steaming with what ever was contained in them smelled wonderful….How badly I wanted to indulge myself into Christine's meal…Oh, Christine's meal…She had cooked for me. The woman of my dreams had made dinner, and was willing to eat with me…..but I knew it wouldn't last; it wouldn't always be this way. _

"_Are you ok?" she asked me._

_I nodded. "Yes, I'm just wondering what to eat first."_

_Christine giggled, and reached her hands over the table._

"_You can't eat yet. We have to say grace first."_

"_I'll agree to it." I warned her. "But only if you say it, cause I don't have a thing to be thankful for."_

_My hands moved themselves from my lap onto the top of the table where Christine's hands were. When hers interlocked with mine, my breath became caught within my throat. Even though I couldn't feel her skin, the strength of her hands squeezing my own was like an electric jolt to my heart. No one had ever interlocked their hands with my own…Oh, such wonderful things one could bring me…even if it were meaningless. _

"_Erik, I know you won't like this, but it's only right to remove your gloves when joining in on a prayer."_

_She wanted me to remove my gloves! The day before when she asked me to, I couldn't…My hands were boney, disgusting, scarred and hideous. She would hate my hands, just as she hated my face. _

"_Please, Erik."_

_How could I deny her what she wanted? I couldn't stop myself from giving her anything she wanted. Slowly, I pulled the fingers of my gloves off each hand, removing the gloves as carefully as possible. Once my freezing hands were free, I placed the gloves onto my lap, and held them out to Christine's. I closed my eyes, waiting to hear her gasp at such hideousness, but she didn't; she interlocked them with her own. Flesh! My body was feeling flesh against my own! I sighed within my throat, and tried to calm my rapid heartbeat down. When I dared to open my eyes, Christine was bowing her head, so I did the same. _

"_Heavenly father, we thank you for this bounty we are about to eat._

_We thank you for the roof which is over our heads, but most of all I would like_

_To thank you for Erik…."_

_My head instantly rose to this. She was thanking god for me? How badly I wanted to turn away and not believe a single word, but I knew Christine wouldn't thank god for something if she wasn't serious about it._

"_He has saved me from my abusive life and given me a place to stay until spring. Today, I am thankful for this food, but mostly for having him in my life…amen."_

_How my heart ached and fluttered at the same time. When she opened her eyes, her hand began to pull away from mine, but she stopped when I felt her thumbs making contact with both of my wrists….God! She found the scars. Years ago when I was a young man, I attempted suicide numerous times by cutting my wrists…all the times had come unsuccessful, leaving hideous marks beneath my wrists…On the other hand, my hands weren't unscathed either. They too were full of deep scars from an accident that occurred when I was just a child…._

"_Erik…" she gasped my name, and looked down at my wrists, running her fingers over the scars._

"_It happened a long time ago." I assured. "I've lost count on how many times I attempted suicide."_

"_When's the last time you tried?"_

_I could hint anger within her voice, but she didn't understand…if only she could walk one day within my shoes._

"_Fifteen years ago."_

_I heard her sigh in relief, and move her fingers to the many scars on my hands._

"_And what of these?"_

"_A terrible accident when I was a child."_

"_What happened?"_

_I pulled my hands away from her, and looked down at them._

"_It's not a dinner table conversation."_

"_I'd like to hear it."_

_Why didn't Christine care? Why did she want to torture herself with such horrible stories? I took a sip of my water, trying to stall off as long as possible, but as the moments passed, I knew I wasn't losing her attention._

"_When I was a boy, my mother never had any mirrors hanging around the house. I never knew I looked like this until….until I asked her for a mirror. She beat me for asking, but when I wouldn't stop she pulled me to her bedroom; a room I was strictly forbidden to ever enter. It was then, in front of the only mirror she had that she pulled away my mask and called me a demon. I was so frightened by my face, that I smashed the mirror with my hands to make the image go away….."_

_Her hands embraced mine once again. _

"_And that's why you wear the gloves?"_

_I nodded. "No one needs to see my hands, not even you. They have certainly disgusted you just as much as my face."_

"_No, Erik." she smiled at me. "They are beautiful. Do you know why?"_

_My hands were beautiful? How could she think that? _

"_They are beautiful, because they are the exact hands that have drawn out Phantasma, created the most beautiful of operas, they even yearn for the touch of beauty."_

_I pulled my hands away, and began to load my plate up with very small portions of food. The last thing I wanted was to be up all night vomiting. _

"_Your hands do not disgust me, not one bit."_

_What could I say? All I could say was a simple "Thank you" before picking at my meal, and what a delicious meal it was. Christine had made turkey, stuffing, yams, and string beans…everything was so delicious. I ate my small portions slowly, savoring their wonderful taste. My portions were so tiny, that I had finished my meal long before Christine had finished hers. _

"_Have some more." Christine tried passing me the stuffing, but I waved my hand at her._

"_I can't. If I eat anything more, I'll be vomiting all night."_

_I would have had three more helpings if it wasn't for my weak stomach. Never in my life had I ever had such a feast. Even when I was a child, I was never aloud to eat dinner on holidays with my mother. _

"_Erik, there's a whole apple pie waiting for you. I do hope you would be able to have a small piece later on."_

"_Perhaps in a few hours." depending on how I felt…_

"_I do hope you enjoyed dinner."_

_I stood up from my seat, and placed my empty plate in the sink._

"_Indeed I did. Everything was very delicious, Christine, you really should have been a chef."_

_She giggled._

"_You know singing is my forte, Erik."_

"_And what a forte it is." _

_Why had I said that? I'm not supposed to be treating her nice, and yet, I am. She was standing there in the kitchen filling up the sink, ready to do the dishes… I could have just walked away and let her do it, but I couldn't. Why couldn't I just walk away? Why did I feel sorry for this girl? She had cooked, and now was about to do the dishes, but I couldn't let her._

"_Christine." I stood behind her like a shy child who was too afraid to ask something of their mother. "I…I that is…I could help you."_

_Christine giggled, and threw the dish towel towards me._

"_Alright then, you dry and I'll wash."_

_This was so strange. There I was, standing behind Christine as we washed and dried the dishes like a married couple. As I would dry each dish, I couldn't help but keep glancing her way. She was so beautiful, and my body wanted her badly, but I knew better than to continue being so nice to her. I knew this would only lead to heartache. _

"_I rather enjoyed dinner with you." she handed me a soaking wet pot. "I was thinking that perhaps we could have dinner together all the time? Until I leave in spring that is…"_

_She wanted to have dinner with me every night? Why would she want to do such a thing? I was a monster, one that didn't deserve such wonderful things. _

"_What do you think, Erik?"_

"_I'd rather not."_

_Curse my heart for denying such a wonderful request! Damn it to hell!_

_Once we finished cleaning up, I retired to my armchair, and Christine sat at my feet staring into the fire. _

"_This may sound strange, Erik, but I never enjoyed any holiday as much as I had enjoyed this one."_

"_How could you enjoy this day? All you did was work."_

"_Back home, Raoul had chefs and maids doing everything for us around the holidays. I never had to lift a finger…But today, I made us both a Thanksgiving dinner; my first. I enjoyed it much more because I know that I made it. Holidays are supposed to be about spending time with the ones you love, and cooking and cleaning up together make it something irreplaceable."_

"_I wouldn't know. My mother never let me join in on the holidays."_

_Christine turned my way._

"_So this was your first?"_

_I embarrassingly nodded, and Christine stood up, pulling me to my feet as well._

"_What are you doing? _

"_Erik, you never celebrated a holiday before. Dinner is fine, but there is more to celebrating a holiday than just dinner."_

_I stood there in the center of the room, while Christine ran over to my phonograph, and turned it on. A slow piano melody began to play, and she rejoined me._

"_What are you doing?" I nervously asked._

_She then placed her hands on my shoulders and began to sway._

"_Come on, Erik…Dance with me."_

_How was I to tell her that I never danced with a woman before? Never in all my life had I ever had the chance to dance with a girl…I didn't even know what to do?_

"_I…I.." my eyes scanned the room as the feeling of her hands on my shoulders sent shivers through my spine._

_Christine immediately stopped, and looked up at me._

"_Erik, have you not danced before?"_

"_With a woman? No…"_

"_Place your hands on my waist."_

_How my hands trembled as I placed them on Christine. Her slender form quivered beneath my touch, and I couldn't help but think that I was disgusting her._

"_Now sway your body."_

_And there, in the firelight, both Christine and I began to slowly dance; our shadows casting our every move upon the wall behind us. How my body enjoyed her touch so much…._

"_Tell me, Erik, do you enjoy this?"_

"_After being alone ten whole years, this moment has made me the happiest man alive."_

"_Oh, that reminds me."_

_Christine broke away from our dance and disappeared around the corner, coming back with the turkey wishbone in her hand._

"_One of the maids and I used to do this on Christmas all the time…Raoul thought it was foolish, but I'd like to try it with you."_

_She held and end out to me, and I wrapped my finger around it, as Christine did the same to her end._

"_Have you ever done this before?" _

_I shook my head._

"_Well, make a wish, but don't tell me, and then on the count of three pull your end. If your end is bigger than mine, than your wish will come true."_

_Christine closed her eyes, and I tried to figure our what to wish for. It didn't matter, no matter what I did, I knew any wish I made would never come true. But how I wished for her loving touch…just to feel the warmth of her hands over my cheek would make me the happiest man alive. _

"_One, two, three…" she counted. _

_We both pulled, and when the bone broke in half, it was Christine who had the bigger piece. _

"_I win."_

"_What did you wish for?" I curiously asked. _

"_If I tell you, Erik, my wish won't come true. On the other hand, you didn't win, so you could tell me what you wished for." _

_I couldn't! I wouldn't! if she knew what I wished for, she would surely be disgusted. _

_I turned away._

"_I would prefer not to say."_

"_Why? Oh, come on, Erik, what did you wish for?"_

_I felt her grab my shoulder, and turn me to face her again. But as she did so, her hand lovingly moved from my shoulder, up the side of my neck, and to my unscathed cheek. The warmth of her hand rested there as her eyes pleaded me to tell her what I wished for. I had gotten my wish…I had gotten my wish and I didn't even win. I closed my eyes, taking in the wonderful feeling, never wanting it to end. I then lifted my hand, and placed it over the one she had on my cheek, pressing her warmth deeper into my flesh. _

"_Erik, what did you wish for?"_

"_I…I wished…"_

_I was about to tell her that my wish had already come true, but my heart pulled me out of this sure to be head-on-collision and let my anger loose. In a flash I pulled away, and yelled at her like the monster I was._

"_Nothing! And don't ever touch me again!"_

_I ran to my room and cried myself to sleep…My dream had come true, and I didn't even win…my dream, oh, my wonderful dream had come true, and yet, I acted like a complete monster…the monster within me had killed the dream I dreamed…_

* * *

**Ok please, please, please review! This chapter took sometime to think up…Love you all!**


	11. Chapter 11

"_Loved you yesterday _

_Love you still_

_Always have always will."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_How I wanted to do nothing more than give Erik the Thanksgiving he deserved. I awoke extra early and began cooking before the sun was even up. I wasn't sure if Erik was happy about it when he woke, but I didn't care, I even asked him to join me. I expected him to yell at me and say no, but he didn't…he agreed, and disappeared until dinner. When everything was ready, he came around the corner dressed in his finest suit, and looked incredibly handsome. When it was time to say grace, I saw Erik's hands for the first time. They were boney, pale and extremely scarred. Oh, how my angel's hands looked so beat up. He told me he had attempted suicide several times over the years and how his hands became scarred because of an accident with a mirror. I found it greatly sad when Erik told me that even his own mother couldn't love him. _

_Thanksgiving dinner turned out better than I thought it would be. Erik and I ate and held a small conversation… For once, I believed I was finally getting through to him. What surprised me even more was when he offered to help clean up. We stood there by the sink, cleaning up from dinner like a married couple. I loved it, I loved every single moment of it. Afterwards, we retired to the main room where I sat at Erik's feet…When he told me that he never celebrated a holiday before, I immediately offered to dance with him. Holidays when I was a child were always filled with much more than just dinner. I remember my father would play the violin while Raoul and I danced happily in the fire light. I wanted to do the same with Erik, and soon, we were dancing to a slow song that was playing on his Phonograph. He seemed nervous about dancing with me, but after a few minutes that all went away and I was left within a wonderful dream. The way Erik and my body moved together fit like a glove. He was just the right height, and they way our bodies connected with one another's was perfect. I never wanted this moment to end… But I thought of the wish bone and grabbed it before returning to Erik. In my mind I wished this moment to never end…I wished that spring would never come, and that I could spend the rest of my life with him. Who knew what Erik was wishing for, but when we broke the bone in half, it was I who came out with the bigger end. Now, if only my wish would come true…but what had Erik wished for? _

_I asked him this, but he didn't want to tell me. Why? Why didn't he want to tell me what he wished for? My hand moved from his broad shoulders, and caressed the handsome side of his face. Once more I begged him to tell me what he wished for, but his anger had come out and he pushed me away before yelling at me to never touch him again. He ran to his room, and never came back out…Had I done something wrong? I wasn't sure, and stayed awake a few more hours, sitting by the fire and enjoying what was to be the remainder of my first Thanksgiving. By the time I decided to go to bed, Erik was already fast asleep. How badly I wanted to turn him over and apologize, but I knew better than to wake him. Instead, I crawled into bed and fell asleep myself. _

_My sleep had been anything but enjoyable. I woke in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and gasping for air. I had a nightmare and for the life of me, I couldn't remember what it was about, only that it involved Raoul beating me. After a few moments, I was able to calm myself down enough to sleep again, but the sound of music from the other room made me curious. It was coming from the phonograph, the same one I had turned on just hours before to dance with Erik. I rose to my feet, and slowly walked across the cold stone floor to reach the main room. Once I was around the corner, I spotted Erik sitting in the kitchen with a bunch of medical junk scattered around him; a syringe, a bottle filled with liquid, and a some kind of large rubber band. He seemed to be in so much pain. His wig was off, and his hands were running through the thins hairs he had on his head. _

"_Erik?" I softly called his name, causing him to look over at me._

"_Is the music too loud?" he kindly asked. _

"_No. Are you ok?"_

_I took a few steps closer, dreading the thought of Erik possibly trying to kill himself._

"_I'm in a lot of agony. I tried the morphine, but sadly that isn't working."_

_I sighed in relief. I was so glad that the bottle was filled with his morphine, and not some sort of poison._

"_Where is the pain coming from?" _

"_My face." he cringed. "My face is so sore that nothing is taking away its pain. I've been suffering from it for quite sometime."_

"_Why does your face hurt?"_

_Erik pointed to his mask. "It's causing abrasions, and they are so painful. I've been trying to search for a mask that would caress my face instead of rub it raw, but I have been unsuccessful. I've been to every costume shop in Coney Island, but they all deal with costume masks, and not ones for medicinal purposes."_

"_Have you tried in town? I'm sure the tailor could make you one."_

"_I never go into town. You seen what happened to me when I dared to take you to lunch. Oh, Christine, you don't know how much pain this masks brings me."_

_I felt horrible. My poor angel was suffering and there was nothing he could do about it. I had to help him, I just had to. _

"_Erik, let me see your face."_

_Erik turned his face away from me, knowing what my reaction would be if he took off his mask._

"_Erik, please, I want to help you. Your face might bring me fear, but fear or no fear, you're in pain and I want to help you."_

"_Do you know how greatly it pains my heart to know that my face brings you fear? It burns me worse than any pain I could ever feel."_

_Erik then closed his eyes, and lifted the mask from over his face. His abrasions were so bad, that I had to cover my mouth with my hand just to stop the gasp that wanted to come. It was so horrible….how could he keep his mask on when his face was in such a massacred state. The flesh beneath his eye was rubbed away, the deep sockets in his cheek were red and irritated, and the top of his lip was so swollen that I was surprised he had even managed to eat dinner. _

_My stomach churned at such a horrific sight, and I quickly made my way to the bathroom before I could make any gestures that would upset him. His wounds needed to be cleaned out, and I was going to have to be the one to do it….how was I going to complete such a task, when I couldn't even bear to look at his face without fear? I filled a basin up with warm soapy water, and placed a wash cloth into it before returning to him. _

"_What are you doing?" he asked._

"_Your wounds are going to get infected if you don't wash them out. I'll….I'll do it."_

_I pulled a chair up beside him, and sat down. The hardest part was stomaching his monstrous face. I tried to look away as much as I could, only looking directly at his face when I placed the soapy cloth over his wounds. He groaned at the stinging that came from it, but let me continue. When I finished, I kept my glance looking towards the floor so I wouldn't catch sight of his face._

"_You…you need to keep your mask off." I shuddered. "Keeping the mask on will only infect your wounds."_

"_How? How will I keep it off…"_

_I wasn't sure either, but after returning to the bathroom, I spotted some gauze, and returned to him with the roll in hand._

"_I'll cover it with this."_

_I held my breath, and gently wrapped the distorted half of his face with the gauze. By the time I finished, it looked as if he were wearing a permanent mask. I was cutting the final piece, when I heard Erik say the most heart wrenching words ever said to me._

"_I wish I were handsome."_

_I painfully lowered my hands to my side, and began to clean up._

"_Erik, you're special. Your face is what makes you who you are."_

"_What? A monster?"_

"_If you were handsome, you could have had any girl you wanted. You wouldn't even have known me. I was a poor chores girl, and nothing more."_

_Erik placed his hand over mine, and looked up at me._

"_No, Christine, even if I were handsome, I still would have wanted you. You are the definition of beauty."_

_I turned to the counter, and saw the pie sitting there. I smiled, and cut a small piece for Erik, and then a piece for me. _

"_Here." I placed the pie down in front of him, and took a seat. _

_I bit into my pie, and looked over at Erik to see him picking at his._

"_Something wrong?"_

"_No, it's delicious." he paused, looking down at his hands. "Christine, I must apologize for my actions earlier tonight. You didn't deserve such treatment. My temper is as hideous as my face, and I must apologize for it, especially for tonight."_

_He was apologizing to me. Erik was sorry for what he had done, and I accepted it._

"_I shouldn't have touched you. I'm very sorry, Erik."_

_He placed a fork-full of his pie into his mouth, and slowly chewed it. _

"_I…I…was thinking…"_

_Erik's voice was trembling like a leaf on a windy day. Why did he sound so nervous?_

"_Tomorrow night is the annual lighting of the Coney Island Christmas lights. From what I hear, it's supposed to be a spectacular experience. I was thinking….that…I don't know…maybe…um…you would like to go."_

"_Alone?" _

_Yes, of course it was going to be alone. Erik wasn't interested in such things._

"_Well, you could…but…maybe I was thinking that I would join you?"_

_Erik wanted to join me? What has come over him? I was so taken back by his request, that I couldn't even speak._

"_If you don't want to, it's perfectly fine." he snarled. "I would understand."_

"_No! I'm sorry…really, I would love to."_

"_There I go again." he murmured. "Sorry."_

"_It's ok."_

"_There is a place we could go for dinner…"_

_No, I wouldn't let Erik go back into town. I couldn't let him be made for a fool by the cruel town's people. _

"_No, Erik, I won't let you go back into town. If you wish to have dinner, than we could have it here."_

"_It's not in town, I own a restaurant in Coney Island. Maybe you've seen it? It's called the "Espoir" which means "hope" in French."_

_Erik owned a restaurant our of Phantasma? I never knew that. _

"_Then why haven't we eaten there before?"_

_Erik began to nervously twist his hands together. _

"_It's a French-American restaurant that's strictly for freaks and their spouses. No one's aloud in without a date. I have a private table there, but….but never had anyone to bring."_

_I could hear the emotion in Erik's voice as he said the last line of his sentence. I felt terrible, this poor man never had anyone to love him, even asking me on a date was nerve racking for him. Wait? A date? Erik was asking me on a date?_

"_Is this a date, Erik?"_

"_I…I…wouldn't know what a date was, for I have never been on one before. Let's just call this a mutual outing."_

"_Sounds wonderful."_

_It was then that the grandfather clock in the hall struck three a.m. We were both finished with our pie, and it was getting extremely late._

"_I guess it's time to call it a night." Both Erik and I stood up and walked to our beds after turning off the phonograph. _

_We both crawled into our own beds, and looked at one another._

"_I had a bad dream." I softly confessed._

"_About what?"_

"_I don't remember. I just know that it was bad. I think it was about Raoul beating me, but I'm not sure."_

_Erik turned over on his back, and looked up at the ceiling._

"_You'll have those dreams. I still have bad dreams from what happened to me when I was a child. They used to be extremely terrible, but now they only come once in a while."_

"_I'm sorry that it happened to you."_

"_It's in the past, Christine."_

_For a while there was silence, and I eventually fell asleep. What Erik didn't know, was that I had plans. Erik was suffering because of his mask, and I was going to make it my goal to get him a new one that would protect his face instead of harming it. It was the least I could do after all he had done for me. _

_The following morning, I awoke extra early, and quietly dressed so I wouldn't disturb Erik who was still fast asleep. After dressing, I took his mask from the table, and walked into town. Erik was tormented because of his face, and wouldn't dare enter such hell, but I was normal, and I was going to make it my goal to get him another mask. I passed many shops along my way, but I continued walking past people and vendors to make it to the Coney Island Tailor. I stepped inside the shop, and a small bell at the top of the door rung. I stood there in the middle of the isle, surrounded by men's suits and dresses. It was then that a tall man with a long measuring tape dangling from his neck came walking around the corner. He was almost completely bald, and had a thin dark mustache. _

"_How can I help you?" it was apparent that he wasn't from America. He sounded Italian, which would also be the reason why Italy's red, white and green colored flag was hanging on the wall. _

"_Yes." I smiled, and stepped towards the friendly man. "I am in search of a mask."_

_The man laughed, and pointed towards the door._

"_If you are looking for a mask, I suggest you walk back towards Coney Island. "Constantine's Costumes" is what you'll be looking for."_

"_It's not for a costume." I held out Erik's mask. "It's for medicinal purposes."_

_The man took the mask, and looked at it carefully._

"_This mask looks familiar, does it belong to Mister E?"_

"_Mister who?"_

"_Mister E, he's the one who created Phantasma."_

_That's right, I forgot that Erik was known as Mister E. But how did this man know Erik?_

"_Right, yes, he's a friend. How did you know?"_

"_News get's around fast when a freak gets mugged. I saw him in a café one afternoon many years ago, the night before those thugs beat him up. It was in the newspaper…."_

"_Mister E is not a freak." _

"_Sorry Signora, I don't mean it offensively or anything, but that's what those people are referred to in town."_

"_I don't want to talk about it any longer, I just want to know if you'll help me? Mister E's mask is leaving abrasions on his face. I was hoping you could do something about it."_

_The man looked inside the leathery mask, and then back at me._

"_I think you know as well as me that the only cure for such wounds would be to leave the mask off. Masks are made to be worn for costume parties, not for daily pleasure."_

"_Sadly that's not an option. Between you and I, he has a terrible disfigurement; to walk outside without it would surely be a death sentence. He told me he's tried everything but nothing has worked."_

"_I don't make masks, but I will tell you that there is no fabric durable enough to caress such a deformity without damaging it. In order to protect one's face, the mask would have to be lined with a material that would be able to sustain sweat and moister."_

"_Isn't there anything you could do?"_

_The man reached over for a ledger, and began flipping through it._

"_I'm no miracle worker, because once again, you must remember that I make suits, not masks, but there is a material we sometimes use." he stopped at a page. "Sheep's wool."_

"_Sheep's wool?" I questioned._

"_Yes, if you line the mask with sheep's wool, it will caress his face, and act like a pillow against his deformity. Should work nicely."_

"_So you could do it?"_

"_Sheep's wool is used very rarely in this shop, but I could order it. Will be here in about a week, and then I could get to work on it."_

"_Ok, that sounds great."_

"_So with shipping and labor, the whole price will come to five dollars."_

_Five dollars? How was I to get that? It was so expensive…But I needed this badly! And I couldn't ask Erik for the money, no, I wanted this to be my own personal gift._

"_I…I don't have that kind of money. But please, sir, my friend really needs this."_

_The man thought a moment._

"_I'll tell you what, I'll order the sheep's wool, and if you sew it on yourself, and work for me for a few days I'll wave the shipping fee."_

_I smiled, this had made me the happiest person alive. _

"_Thank you…mister?"_

"_Oh, Signore Angelo." he held out his hand and I accepted._

"_Christine."_

"_Well then, Christine, I shall see you next week then."_

_With that, I took Erik's mask, and left the shop. On my way back to Erik's flat, I heard my name being called, only to turn around and spot Meg running towards me._

"_Christine, wait up."_

_She caught up to me, and lit a cigarette; something I was beginning to really hate._

"_What are you doing out here alone?" she blew a puff of smoke towards the grey sky._

"_Nothing, just….just taking a walk." _

"_With Erik's mask?" she giggled, and tried to grab it from me, but I pulled away._

"_Enough, Meg, that isn't funny."_

"_Erik's probably looking for it."_

"_Right, which is why I'm on my way to return it to him now. His mask is giving him abrasions, so I went to fix it."_

_Meg rolled her eyes, and took another drag of her cigarette. _

"_Christine, don't you see that he's using you. He's using you, just like he used me. It's going to end for you just as it did for me; with you getting thrown out."_

"_Erik gave you a place to stay, and a job in Phantasma. He is anything but cruel, and he is not using me. I took it upon myself to come out this morning. He's changed, Meg, he isn't the Phantom anymore."_

"_But he is! Christine, don't be naïve. Surely he's yelled at you by now."_

_Meg was right, he had, but he apologized last night…No! Erik has changed._

"_Meg, Erik is a sweet and loving person. When I first started staying with him, he was this cold and hurt monster, but as the days went on, I peeled back those cold and monstrous layers one by one and…."_

"_Oh my god! Christine! You didn't bed with him did you!"_

_How dare she accuse me of such things!_

"_Meg! You're my best friend, why would you think I would do such a thing?"_

"_I'm sorry, Christine, but I'd just watch myself around him. He's pure you know; never slept with a woman in all his life."_

"_How do you know this?"_

"_My mother told me, plus you can tell by the way he acts. Can't you? He's too high strung and uptight. Only virgins act such a way, and believe me, as old as he is and being a virgin to boot only make his temper and tolerance level less and less."_

"_I don't believe you." I scoffed. "Surely, he's done it before. He's at least ten years older than me if not more. There's no way he's still pure, Meg."_

_She giggled, and put out her cigarette._

"_Laugh it up all you want, Christine, but I assure you that no one has ever got into bed with that hideous man."_

"_Don't say that about him."_

_Perhaps Meg was right. Which would explain why he was so upset after I touched him last night. God! Had this man suffered so much to not even receive a single night of pleasure in all of his life? _

"_You see, you do believe me. Tell me, Christine what happened between the both of you?"_

"_Nothing." I lied. "I…I just touched his…"_

"_Was it hideous? Tell me, what did it look like?"_

_Why? Why was Meg cutting me off like this and making things sound so inappropriate!_

"_Meg! Enough with this. I never seen him naked. If you would have let me finish, I would have told you that I touched the handsome side of his face. We were dancing together and he got upset when my hand touched his face."_

"_Right! You see what I mean. He wouldn't have flinched like he did if he had sex before. And believe me, Christine, I'd sleep with a dagger. One night he's going to fulfill his manly urges…"_

"_Meg, Erik would never touch me unless it was consensual, and believe me, there is nothing between us. We're just friends and nothing more."_

"_We shall see."_

"_Look, I must be going. I have lots to do today before the Coney Island Christmas lighting."_

"_So you're going?"_

"_Yes, with Erik."_

"_Jesus Christ, Christine! You see! You see!"_

"_See what?"_

"_In all of the close to ten years that I've been here, never has that monster ever attended the Coney Island Christmas lighting. He hates Christmas for god's sake! I've asked him many of times, but he always refused. He feels something for you, Christine. I mean, he never ever goes….why else would he go if he didn't have feelings for you?"_

"_Meg, we're friends. Did you ever think that maybe he doesn't like you, and that's why he didn't go with you?"_

_Meg laughed. "Maybe you're right. He does hate when I tease him like I do."_

_I rolled my eyes, and began walking towards home._

"_Ok, Meg, well, I must be going. I'll see you later."_

"_Sure will."_

_With that, I headed towards the flat, already wondering what I was going to wear for mine and Erik's mutual outing?_

* * *

**Ok I did a lot of research on the cost of crap back then and what not. Found some interesting stuff. Anyway, please review! **


	12. Chapter 12

"_Pain is like a river flowing through my heart_

_Death is like the moon which plays a major part_

_Love is like a treasure your lucky to receive_

_Hate is like a curse or a life threatening disease."-_Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_I woke the following morning, my bandaged face pulsating against the wrappings. I sat up, and ran my fingers through my thin hair. _

"_Damn this face." I cursed under my breath, as I opened my eyes and glanced over at Christine's neatly made bed. _

"_Christine?" I called her name, thinking that she was out in the kitchen, but I got no reply._

_I wrapped my robe close to my body, and stepped out into the main room hoping to find Christine sitting there, but she wasn't. I was totally stumped on where Christine was, and walked back to my room. _

"_Now where is my mask?" I searched around my night table, looking under my wig, wondering where it was. It was then, that I heard Christine's voice from behind me._

"_Good morning, Erik."_

"_I've been looking for you, where have you been?"_

"_Here the whole time. I found your mask, it was sitting on the table."_

_I was confused, but I didn't argue with her and took the mask out of her hand. _

"_Thank you, I won't wear it until tonight."_

_Everything was like a dream and things between us were most certainly different. I was working at my desk, and Christine served me breakfast. How badly I wanted her to join me, but I didn't say anything. As much as I hated the thought of her doing housework, she argued with me and dusted the kitchen. _

"_I have to earn my keep some how." she told me._

_For the remainder of the day, I worked and listened to Christine humming as she cleaned the flat. When my grandfather clock struck four, I put away my compositions, and rose to get ready for the evening. I was so nervous about tonight. I was so afraid of getting angry with her and ruining the whole evening. I locked myself in the bathroom, and fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, my armpits sweating with anxiety. Why was I so nervous? It wasn't like this outing was going anywhere, right? After adjusting my shirt, I placed on my black jacket and began unraveling the bandages from around my distorted face. The night before, Christine had lovingly cared for my abrasions even though her fear was still alive. I looked at my hideous face, and sighed; if only I were handsome. Tonight, I was taking her to the restaurant I owned outside of Phantasma, a place where freaks took their dates. I was so embarrassed because I couldn't take her to a regular dinner. She was an angel, and deserved better. _

_I placed both my wig and mask on, and cringed at the way I looked. Nothing I could dress in would make me handsome enough for such an angel. After spraying some cologne on, I left the bathroom, only to walk out to the main room to see Christine waiting for me. When I saw her, my heart stopped within my chest. She was so beautiful, her brown curls were pulled up into a bun; a beautiful hair piece holding her hair in place, a purple and black dress flowing down her body, god! She was beautiful!_

"_Christine…" I paused to take a well needed breath. "You look absolutely breathtaking."_

_She giggled, and stepped closer, handing me my walking stick._

"_So do you."_

_Christine interlocked her arm with mine, and we left the flat. My heart skipped ten beats as I walked into Coney Island with Christine around my arm. It was such a wonderful feeling. Of course people looked and gawked at me, but I didn't care, I had an angel on my arm. My restaurant was constructed like the Paris opera house, with a lovely stone stair case leading up to its stained glass doors, pillars lining each stair, and gargoyles perched on the roof. I created such a place just so the freaks would have a place to take their dates, a place where they could eat in peace. A tall doorman held the glorious door for Christine and I, and once inside, my most trusted freak approached me. His name was Dr. Gangle. He was tall, dressed in black, and had short scruffy hair. In the summer he was my show spokesperson, and in the winter, a greeter for "Espoir."_

"_Ah, Mister E, this is the first time I've ever seen you in here…" he paused and looked over at Christine. "And with a girl."_

"_This is Christine, she's staying with me until spring."_

_Dr. Gangle held out his hand, and Christine accepted it._

"_So you're here to eat? Your table has been well kept and waiting for you."_

_Dr. Gangle led us down isles full of freaks eating their meals, and listening to the live band that was playing a soft melody. In the back was a single booth that looked out on the bay, with a golden fountain shimmering beside the window. Once Christine was seated, I did the same, and Dr. Gangle placed the menu down in front of us. _

"_I'll be back in a few minutes."_

_Once Dr. Gangle was gone, I looked over to see Christine looking around the area of our booth. Her eyes were fixated on the beautiful chandelier that was hanging above our table, and the toy train set who's track stretched around each corner of the restaurant. I always found trains fascinating, so when I was designing this place, I knew right away that I wanted a train track that would travel above the heads of the customers and reach every part of the restaurant._

"_This place is so wonderful." Christine gasped. "It's amazing."_

_I looked down at my hands, embarrassed that I couldn't take her to a regular restaurant. _

"_I'm sure you would have enjoyed eating in town ten times better." I suggested._

_Christine's eyes fell back to me, a look of awe across her face._

"_Never, Erik, this place is ten times better than any place in town. It's so wonderful, oh, Erik please say we can eat here all the time."_

_I smiled._

"_As much as your heart desires."_

_It was then that Christine picked up the menu and began reading it. _

"_Get anything you want." I said. "Anything, and don't get what I'm getting just to make me feel better."_

_She lowered her menu, and smiled seductively. "And what are you getting?"_

"_I'm not sure yet."_

_For a few minutes, Christine and I sat in silence figuring out what to get. I looked for the lightest thing on the menu, which was salmon and spinach. When Dr. Gangle returned, he placed down two glasses of water, and stood there waiting for our orders._

"_Are you ready, Christine?"_

_She nodded. "I'm going to get the chicken with sautéed potatoes."_

"_And for you, Mister E?" Dr. Gangle asked._

"_Salmon and spinach."_

_Dr. Gangle took the menus away, and walked away. _

"_You seem so far away." Christine smiled, and walked over to my side of the table and took a seat beside me, cuddling into my chest. God! This was really happening. I placed my arm around her shoulder, and inhaled the sweet smell of her hair. _

"_I love this place, Erik, and I love this table."_

_I had to admit, that from the distant walk from my flat to here had caused my legs to start bothering me, but having Christine here beside me was wonderful. _

"_Something wrong?" she softly asked._

"_The braces are bothering my legs, but it's fine…nothing I can't deal with."_

_And then she said something that sent my heart soaring._

"_Perhaps later I could massage them for you."_

_Dear god! I couldn't take such teasing. Just the thought of her soft hands touching my masticated legs….No! don't think like that…_

"_Erik, would you like to dance with me?"_

_Oh, this angel was making this outing just purely wonderful. _

"_Here? Now?"_

_She giggled. "Yes, there is a band playing."_

_Christine then took my hand in hers, and led me to the dance floor where she wrapped her arms around my tense body. I twirled her around, and did the best I could with the condition that my legs were in. If God had ever given me such a wonderful night, it had to be this one. For once, the girl of my dreams was laughing in my embrace, and flirting with my monstrous body._

"_Erik, this is so wonderful." she cooed this into my ear, her warm breath sending shivers down my spine. _

"_Yes, it is."_

_Oh, I could have danced with her all night. I never wanted this to end….I was the happiest I've been in over ten years. When our food arrived, Christine and I sat back down to eat. I slowly cut up my meat, and picked at it, hoping my stomach cooperated with me. Christine ate her meal, and looked up at me._

"_Erik, this is delicious."_

"_I'm glad you're enjoying it."_

"_You have to try this."_

_Christine was so different than she was ten years ago. She cut up a piece of her chicken, and held it out to me on her fork. _

"_Try this, Erik."_

_She wanted me to eat off of her fork! Never had anyone ever let me do this before. I opened my mouth, and accepted the spicy piece of chicken she had cut for me. _

"_Good?"_

_I nodded, and cut a small piece of my salmon._

"_Would….would you like to try some of mine?" I nervously asked this, waiting for her rejection, but she didn't…she accepted. And just like she had done with me, I held out my fork to her, and she placed it into her mouth. God! It had my germs all over it, and yet, she didn't care. How my heart wanted to cease within my chest….she was an angel sent from heaven! _

"_This is delicious, Erik."_

_Indeed it was. Both Christine and I finished and I paid for the check. Afterwards, we walked outside and towards town square where the Christmas lighting was going to happen. Each and every year after Thanksgiving, Coney Island would turn into a winter wonderland. The town was decorated and lit before the townspeople. I never went myself, but always heard that it was a spectacular sight to witness. In town square, there was a giant Christmas tree with an ice skating rink behind it. Christine and I approached it, and watched as some children skated by. But as they did, I couldn't help but notice Christine's sadness._

"_Christine, what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing, I'm very happy, it's just that sometimes….sometimes I wish I had a child. It's moments like these that would make tonight special. How I would love to skate with my child…and…." she paused. "I'm sorry, I'm ruining the moment."_

"_No, not at all. It's perfectly fine to want a child. It's in God's hands, Christine. Not every woman is able to bear children. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself."_

"_I was because Raoul beat me because of it. It's my fault, I was the one who couldn't give him children."_

_She was crying now, I could see the icy tears falling down her cheek. _

"_Oh, Christine, please don't cry." I wiped them away with my thumb, and embraced her shyly to my body. "It's not your fault, please, please don't cry."_

"_I know I should be happy, and I am….but my life is just so incomplete. I haven't a loving husband to hold, and I don't have a child to care for."_

"_Join the club." I coldly stated. _

_Damn me! I hadn't meant to say such things, and yet, I had. Why couldn't my heart just let me be! Why did it always have to stand up for me and interfere?_

_Christine broke away from me, and straightened her dress._

"_I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." she corrected herself for no reason. _

_There were a lot of people showing up to this event, and I hated crowds with a passion. Children pointed to my mask, and people gawked. My heart was racing a mile a minute, and it was then that Christine pulled me away._

"_Come on, Erik, let's find someplace private."_

_She pulled me into the park, and sat us down on a bench facing the Christmas tree. I was away from the crowds, and that was all that mattered. _

"_How's your face?" _

"_Hurts a little." I lied, it hurt a lot more, but I couldn't tell Christine that. _

"_You know, while we're waiting, why don't we play a game?"_

"_What kind of a game?"_

"_It's a question game. I'll ask you a question, and then you have to ask me one, but no matter what, your sentence has to end in a question."_

"_Ok? I don't actually get the reason why we would play such a game…."_

"_To get to know each other more. I mean, I don't actually know anything about you. I'll go first." Christine paused, thinking about what to ask me. "So what's your favorite color?"_

_Did I even have a favorite color? I never really thought about it, but I did enjoy black._

"_Black. Yours?"_

"_Red. What's your favorite book?"_

"_Faust." I didn't even have to think about that one. The story of an ugly old man who sells his soul to the devil to gain the love of a woman….How I wished I could do the same. "What was your wedding night with Raoul like?"_

_Jesus Christ! Did that really just come from me? Why? Why had I asked that? What in God's name made me think of that._

"_I'm sorry." I wished this never happened. "Don't answer that. I don't know what came over me."_

_Christine looked down at the snow, before gently touching my icy gloved hand._

"_It's perfectly fine to ask such a thing, Erik. I've heard rumors that….that you've never slept with a woman before. Is this true?"_

_Were we still playing? I wasn't sure, but where the hell had she heard such a thing? If there was anything worse than a liar, it was someone who loved to gossip and spread rumors._

"_I…I don't know where you heard that from, but I can assure you that who ever said such a thing needs to know the truth before they spread such nonsense."_

_I tried to tell the truth without lying, but even so, my statement still sounded confusing. _

"_Have you ever been to a brothel before?"_

_It was safe to say that I never have. Yes, my body yearned for it more than anything in the world, but I didn't dare expose my body to such filth._

"_No…Could we please switch to another subject? I'm rather embarrassed to talk about such subjects."_

"_Yes, sorry."_

"_Don't be. It is I who should be sorry. Please forgive me, Christine."_

_It was then that everyone began gathering around the tree, and the countdown began. Everyone started at ten and when they got to one, the beautiful red and green lights flickered on, lighting not only Coney Island, but also the tree. _

_I hated Christmas, but being here with Christine at this moment made me love the holiday. They were so beautiful, everything was so bright and beautiful._

"_Oh, Erik…" was all Christine could gasp._

"_It is beautiful, Christine, just like you…"_

"_Could we get one for the flat, Erik? Could we get a tree?"_

_As much as I hated the thought of decorating my flat, doing it with Christine didn't sound so terrible._

"_We shall see."_

_For a while, Christine and I sat in silence, looking at the wonderful lights. When the Phantasma clock tower struck the hour of nine, both Christine and I rose to our feet to start the journey home. We decided to cut through the dark park in order to get home faster, and as we were I couldn't help but notice that she seemed cold. I instantly tore away my jacket, and placed it over her shoulders._

"_What about you?" she asked, her eyes filled with such concern._

_Yes, I was cold, but she needed it more than me._

"_I'm fine. It's my legs that are bothering me more than the cold."_

"_Do you want to stop?"_

_I did, but we were almost home. Christine was cold, and there was no since in prolonging the journey._

"_I'll be fine until we get back to the flat."_

_I would have kept walking, but Christine stood in front of me and stopped me._

"_I have something I need to tell you."_

_We were standing in the middle of a dark tree surrounded park, with only the light of the moon shining down on us._

"_I had a very nice time tonight, Erik."_

"_As did I."_

"_I like the way things between us have been going. Just promise me that it will stay like this. I've changed, Erik, really I have. You have a kind heart and….and I…I…"_

_She leaned in to me, our faces were barely apart, her hand reached up and touched my cold cheek._

"_I…I think I lo…"_

_She never got the chance to finish, for a manly voice spoke out from behind us._

"_Taking a midnight stroll are ye?"_

_We both turned around to see three men dressed in ragged clothing approaching us with blunt objects in their hands. I pushed Christine behind me to protect her, as the men got closer._

"_We're not looking for trouble." I said. "Just on our way home."_

"_Just on yer way home…" the man mocked me! He had yellow teeth and a red scraggily beard. From his accent, I could tell he was Irish. _

"_Ah, and he's got a wee little lassie with him too." said another man trying to come close to Christine. I held my walking stick out in front of me to protect her._

"_Don't any of you come near us. We just want to go home." _

"_This is our part of the park." one of the men snarled. "There's a price to pass…"_

"_Yes, and I'd say it be that lassie."_

_I had to protect Christine….I just had to. One of the thugs came forward and tried to pull Christine away, but I hit him hard with my walking stick. The man stumbled backwards, and all hell broke loose. I tried to fight them, oh, how I tried…I swung my walking stick in every direction, trying to keep them off my Christine like a hunter fighting off a pack of hungry wolves. But I was a cripple, and soon, my legs gave out and I was on the ground. One of the men grabbed Christine, while the other two teased me with their objects. _

"_You're a freak." one of them laughed._

_The other man used his long stick to flick off my mask. When I felt the cold air hit my distorted face, they laughed._

"_A monster even…How dare he have such a beautiful woman."_

_In the background I heard Christine screaming for them to leave me alone. I wasn't sure what they were going to do to me, but I had to keep fighting! When I tried to get up, I was pushed back down, only for my braces to make a loud clanking sound. This interested the men, for the lifted up one of my pant legs and spotted the braces._

"_And he's a cripple!" _

"_I told you there was a price to pay in order to pass. You tried to beat the system, and now you're going to pay for it."_

_The first blow came from a metal bat hitting the sides of my braces where it locked my knees into it. The screws dug into my knee cap, and I felt the brace bashing into my leg. I screamed in agony, and soon both men were doing it to both legs._

"_Take this, metal legs!"_

"_Stop! Stop this!"_

_As I screamed in agony, I saw Christine struggling in the man's grasp as he tried to pull my angel's skirts down. No! No! I wouldn't let this happen! I was pushed face down in the snow, the frozen ice scraping and burning my flesh. My wig then flew off, and the exposed part of my skull hit a patch of ice….In that instant, one of my veins were sliced open, causing the once white snow to turn crimson red. My head was gushing blood and when the men saw this, they backed up._

"_Man, let's get out of here…."_

"_The cops will be after us…."_

_The men fled the park, leaving me lay there helpless and in pain. Christine took no time in rushing to my side, almost breaking down in tears because of how badly I was injured._

"_Erik….oh, Erik…"_

_She pushed me up into a sitting position, and tore a piece of her dress to press against my gushing wound. When she tried to stand me up, a loud crackle within my legs occurred, causing me to scream. Something was wrong, my legs were not right…..Dear god, what have they done to me! I couldn't walk…..I couldn't even take a single step. _

"_Erik, we have to get you home."_

_Christine was frantic. She picked up my discarded mask and wig, before wrapping my arm over her back, and forcing me to take step by agonizing step._

"_That's it, Erik, relax…."_

_I cried after each step….I couldn't walk, and my legs were in complete agony. Christine didn't deserve me….I was no good for her. This could have turned out ten times worse if my blood hadn't scared the men away. They could have killed me and raped Christine for all I knew. A real man was supposed to be able to protect his woman, a real man was supposed to fight back and sadly, I was a cripple, completely incapable of doing any of those things. _

_By the time we made it back to the flat, I was so exhausted and in excruciating pain, that I could hardly breathe. Christine laid me down on my bed, and tended to my gushing head wound. _

"_Press hard, Erik. You need to stop this bleeding."_

_I was weak, but did as she asked and continued to press the cloth against my wound. All I could think about at this moment, was what if? What if those men never showed up? What would have been happening right now? Would she have kissed me? Would she have slammed me into my bed and made love to me? Oh, Christine…._

_It was at that moment, that I felt her hands on the buttons of my pants. How I always wanted this, but not in this way. I tried to groan to warn her to stop, but she wouldn't listen to me. She pulled my trousers right down to my knees, and threw them aside. I couldn't see the braces, but knew the men had bashed them into my legs. The thought of Christine staring down at my scarred legs were embarrassing enough without having her looking at me in my skivvies._

"_Dear God!" was all she gasped before rushing into the bathroom. _

_I had to know what frightened her so….I hardly had enough strength left in me to breathe, but I needed to know. And so, with my one free hand I pushed myself up just enough to get a look at my legs, and the twisted sight I saw caused me to lean over and vomit my supper onto the floor._

* * *

**Ok everyone, cliffy…More fluff to come soon! Please, review! Love you all!**


	13. Chapter 13

"_And now I stand beside your bed_

_Your body bleeding from toe to head_

_Legs mangled, twisted and bashed in tight_

_My hands cleaned and cared for your injures all night_

_So as you lay there in dire pain_

_Know that I am here to sooth and calm the aches which cease to refrain." -_Excerption Straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**_Christine's POV_**

_My date with Erik was like anything beyond my imagination. He took me to this wonderful restaurant that was lined with fountains and a train that would run above our heads. I danced with him, oh, how I had danced with my Erik. Everything had been so perfect! Our food was delicious, and the Christmas lighting was spectacular. Never in all my life had I ever seen anything like it before. I had witnessed Christmas over and over again with Raoul, but when I saw the lights light up Coney Island, I knew I was going to want to spend Christmas with Erik forever more._

_After a while of staring at the lights, I took Erik and cut through the park to get home. I stopped him about halfway, and leaned in to tell him that I loved him. I couldn't help this feeling. I wanted to tell Erik that I loved him and never wanted to be parted from him ever again. I was even going to seal it with a kiss just to prove to him that I wasn't lying. Though, I never got to finish, because we were interrupted by some thugs. It was horrible, I was grabbed and touched inappropriately while my angel was trying to fight back. God! They beat him, oh how they beat him! I saw a man bash his legs in, while another threw him into the snow. But once this happened, blood began to turn the white ice crimson red and this scared the men. They ran, leaving me to tend to Erik. The exposed part of his skull was gushing blood, and he couldn't stand….I was so scared, but found the strength within me to wrap my arm around him and help him back to the flat. Once there, I tore off his trousers, and gasped as the hideous sight those men had done to him. The braces had cut into his legs, leaving open gashes and no way of removing the braces. My whole body shook, as I pressed a towel up against Erik's gushing head wound and told him to press._

_I was sweating, and ran into the bathroom, circling around. What was I going to do? I couldn't do anything. I wasn't a nurse, and didn't even know what bones were inured in his legs. Quickly, I filled a basin up with warm water, and rushed back out only to find the floor beside Erik's bed full of vomit, and him leaning over, heaving and gasping for air._

_"Erik?" I rushed to his side, and rubbed his back sympathetically._

_"I'm….I'm sorry." he gasped._

_I leaned him back against his pillows, and began to tend to his legs. The most important part now was getting the braces off. Gently, I took each leg, prying away the metal indented into his flesh. He cried out at ever second, and I would stop to let him catch his breath before continuing. When I had the first brace off, I dipped a cloth into the warm water, and ran it over his torn flesh. My angel was sweating profusely, and his head was still gushing blood, but I didn't stop. I tightly bandaged them, and propped his sore legs up onto a few pillows before doing the same to his head. I had once wished that Erik had me here to care for him when those thugs first busted his legs, but never did I ever wish for this. History was repeating itself, and I was going to be sure to stay by his side as long as he needed me._

_By the time I was finished with all of his injuries, he had fallen into an unconscious sleep. I propped his pillows, covered his body, and began cleaning up the bloody water in the basin, and mopping up the vomit covered floor. The once white bandage that was on his head had turned crimson red, along with the bandages that were covering his legs. I knew once morning came, I was going to have to fetch the doctor. I was no nurse, and I wasn't taking any chances on losing Erik._

_By the time I finished cleaning up, it was nearly morning. Right now, I could have been waking up beside Erik from a long night of making love, but instead, I was making him breakfast and preparing some medicine to give him. I had left Erik in his underwear, and the white dress shirt he had gone out in. I didn't want to undress him completely and make him uncomfortable, but was going to do so when ever he woke. I made a few pieces of toast, and spread some of his peach jam on them before entering his room. He was still wearing his mask, and asleep as the sun shun in through the window, hitting the walls and bouncing over his body._

_I placed the toast down on his night table, and fixed the blankets that were covered over his body. He looked like he was in agonizing pain, even when he opened his eyes, they were red and teary._

_"Erik." I kept my voice down to a low whisper as to not hurt his ear drums. "How are you feeling?"_

_He didn't answer me, only turned his head to the side of his pillow, and pressed his eyes shut._

_"I made you some toast. I even have some medicine for you, but you have to eat first."_

_I thought he was allowing me to feed him the toast once he reopened his eyes, but when I placed a piece up to his lips, he didn't open his mouth._

_"Erik, please eat something."_

_"I'm…I'm not hungry, just in pain."_

_I kept the toast placed on his nightstand, and moved to pick up my cloak._

_"I'm calling the doctor, Erik."_

_"Please…please don't."_

_I threw on my cloak, and placed my hand over his masked forehead. How badly I wanted to abide by his request, but he was getting a fever._

_"I'm not a nurse, Erik. Your injuries are too severe for me to handle without the advice from a doctor."_

_"Ch..Christine…."_

_"Shh…Just relax, Erik."_

_My body was about to turn back and let the whole "getting a doctor" situation go, but when he arched his back, and cried out in pain I knew I couldn't let this go any longer. I left him for only five minutes. I left the flat, and used the public Phantasma phone to connect to an operator and request the doctor. When I was told one would show up within an hour, I raced back to the flat and looked after Erik who now had sweat running down his forehead._

_"Erik, are you too hot?"_

_"No…" his voice was weak and labored. "J..Just fine."_

_Just to be safe, I cracked the window above his bed, and let some of the cool winter air seep into the room. I looked down at the dress shirt he was still wearing, and decided to change him before the doctor arrived. As my Erik laid there, I rummaged through his wardrobe closet and pulled out a long white nightshirt that was ruffled and open in the chest area. I carried it over to the bed Erik was laying in, and began unbuttoning his dress shirt._

_"S..St..Stop." his face was pressed into his pillow, and his arms were too weak to lift themselves to stop me._

_"Erik, I'm just trying to get you into something more comfortable, calm down."_

_As each button came undone, pale flesh began to expose itself right before my own very eyes. Once the last button came undone, I opened his shirt completely, only to be horrified. God! His ribs were protruding through his pale, discolored flesh, and his chest was filled with hideous scars. Was he born like this? No, the world had done this to him…my poor angel..If only I had known. I tried to fight back the tears as I reached inside his shirt and gently pulled his arms out of the sleeves. But once they were exposed as well, they too were covered in scars. His shoulders, oh, how his boney shoulders looked the worse. The scars that were located there crisscrossed and overlapped one another. I turned away from it, and placed the nightshirt over his head before maneuvering his arms into the sleeves. The shirt was so long that it stretched all the way down to the tops of his knees; just where his injuries started._

_I had to get my mind off the scars, I just couldn't bear to look at them any longer. I picked up his dirty shirt and other clothes that were scattered around the room, and placed them into Erik's wash bin. Cleaning his clothes later would take my mind off of certain things and his condition. When a knocking occurred at the door, I answered it, only to see a doctor standing there. He was an older man dressed in a white coat and was carrying a leather bag in his hand._

_"You are Christine?" he asked._

_I only nodded, and invited the man inside. When I had spoken to him over the phone, I had explained everything from how the thugs beat Erik's legs, down to the previous condition they were in. But I was in luck, for this was the same doctor who had treated Erik before when the thugs first made him a cripple. But if there was one thing I knew right way, it was that this doctor and I were going to be anything but friends._

_He placed his bag down on Erik's night table, and aggressively tore away the blankets that covered his legs. I stood there while this man pressed his fingers over Erik's legs with the hardest of pressure. When Erik would cringe and cry out, the doctor only pressed harder. I couldn't stand here and watch him hurt Erik any longer…it wasn't right!_

_"Could you be gentle with him?" I angrily questioned. "He is in agony if you haven't noticed."_

_"I'm the doctor, Madame." he snarled. "It would be best to stand back and let me work….Where are his braces?"_

_I pointed to the corner of the room where I had placed the mangled parts._

_"Right over there. Those thugs bashed them so hard into his legs that I had to destroy them in order to get them off."_

_"It doesn't matter. He won't be walking anymore."_

_How dare this man come into Erik's home and treat him like this!_

_"How can you say that? He's done it before hasn't he?"_

_The doctor packed up his bag, and looked at me._

_"He's a cripple. If you want to help him, you'd place him into an asylum, that's where he belongs, Madame. I tried to beat that into his head when this happened the first time, but he didn't want to listen to me. He's a cripple, and cannot live on his own."_

_"So that's it?" I crossed my arms. "You're not going to give him anything to help with the pain? Or instructions to heal his wounds?"_

_"You want instructions?" he grabbed his bag and headed to the door, turning to me right before walking out. "Do yourself a favor and put him in an asylum. Good day, Madame."_

_The doctor slammed the door on his way out, leaving me to care for Erik. How could he ever expect me to do such a thing? Just because Erik was different, didn't mean he couldn't care for himself or heal like a human being. The bastard didn't even care for the wound on his exposed skull! How dare he treat my Erik like that? How dare he! It was up to me now, and I wasn't going to fail him._

_The first thing I decided to do was clean out his head wound. I carefully unwrapped the bloodstained bandage from around his head, and looked down at the crusty red wound._

_"Erik? Are you with me?" I softly asked._

_He didn't say anything, but he did groan, which was a better reply than nothing. After dipping a cloth into some brandy I had found under Erik's sink, I gently ran it over his wound, carefully tracing the cloth around his other arteries and veins._

_"Ch….Chr…Christine… Stop, please, it hurts so much."_

_"I'm almost finished, Erik."_

_And indeed I was. Once the crusty red blood was wiped away, I wrapped his head with new bandages and switched to fluffing the pillows that were supporting his legs._

_"Better?"_

_"Could you sit me up?"_

_I smiled warmly, and wrapped my arms under Erik's to lift him up into a sitting position. Before leaning his body back against the rusty headboard of his bed, I placed a few pillows behind him to support his back._

_"Comfortable?"_

_"Yes, thank you."_

_His sweat was now gone, and I could sense that he was shivering. I closed the window above his bed, and wrapped a blanket around his shoulders._

_"Would you like something to drink? I'll make you anything."_

_Erik leaned back into his pillows, and looked down at the pieces of toast that were placed there._

_"No, I'm fine. I know if I drink anything, I'll only vomit."_

_I stood there thinking about how to make him feel better, and then I thought about massaging his feet. Yes! That was it! I sat down at the end of his bed, and pulled off his socks before placing them down beside me. Erik seemed terrified at my actions, but I shied away and turned to his feet. Never had I ever seen Erik's feet before. I used to think them to be probably as monstrous as his face, but they weren't at all. They weren't scared and disgusting, they were handsome, and when I placed my hand against them, they were soft like a baby's….Not that I would know how soft a baby's foot was, but they were so soft._

_He gasped under my touch, and as I gently massaged it, he sighed heavily. His foot crackled as my fingers ran over the bottom of it, causing me to stop. Was I hurting him? If I was, then I didn't want to continue…_

_"Are my feet disgusting you?" I heard him ask._

_"No….never…"_

_"I would understand if they were."_

_I looked up, only to notice that he had tears streaming down his cheeks._

_"Erik, please, your feet are handsome. I thought I was hurting you, so that's why I stopped and the only reason why."_

_"That crack felt wonderful. Erik never had his feet massaged before."_

_I began massaging his foot again, glad to see that he was relaxing his body._

_"Erik, when the doctor was here, he…he suggested that you be put into an asylum. Has he ever talked to you about that?"_

_Erik's eyes moved to mine._

_"I deserve to be in one, wouldn't you agree?" he asked, his heart choking within his throat._

_"Never. How could you even think that?"_

_"Because I can't even take a girl out to dinner without being bullied. Yes, I may deny going to an asylum now, but when I can no longer care for myself, I know I'll have to go. For I know that I'll never have anyone to love me."_

_"Erik, I thought you did a wonderful job at caring for yourself with the condition you were in."_

_"Yes, but I'm not getting any younger. Are you blind, Christine? Look at my legs now. You saw how the doctor reacted, I'll never walk again."_

_I moved my massage over to his toes, and thought about what to say._

_"That clown wasn't a doctor, Erik, he was a cruel man. Doctors don't say things like that."_

_I moved my hands to his ankle only to hear him cringe._

_"Erik, is everything ok?"_

_He took a few breaths, and pointed to the bathroom._

_"Fetch…my morphine."_

_I hurried to the bathroom where I took his morphine tools out of the cabinet, and walked back to him. I placed everything down on his nightstand, and Erik looked over at it._

_"I…I can't do it myself. You're going to have to do it for me."_

_"Erik, I couldn't possibly."_

_"Of course you can. It's simple. Fill the syringe up to the marked line."_

_It was nerve racking. I didn't want to overdose him, or worse, hurt him. My hands trembled as I filled the syringe with the medicine, and looked at the line only to notice I had passed it._

_"Oh, I over filled it."_

_When I tried to squirt some out, I emptied too much._

_"Oh, dear, look what I've done."_

_"It's fine, Christine, relax." Erik told me. "Now wrap the rubber band tightly around my forearm."_

_I was such a nervous wreak, that I took the piece of rubber and wrapped it around Erik's sleeved forearm._

_"Christine, you can't possibly give me a needle with my sleeve pulled down."_

_"Oh, forgive me." I tore away the band, and pulled up his sleeve, rewrapping the band around his now bare forearm. When his green vein became visible, my trembling hand took the syringe and placed the needle over it._

_"Christine, calm down. You're going to hurt me by trembling like that."_

_That was all I needed to hear. I no longer had the strength within me to prick him._

_"Christine, take a breath. Please, I'm begging you to give me this. My body is in so much pain."_

_He was right. I was the only one who was going to be able to give this to him. There were no doctors to do this, leaving me as his only option. I took a breath to calm myself down, and stuck the needle into his vein before pushing the medicine into his arm. When the syringe was empty, I gently pulled it back out, and removed the band from his arm._

_"Better?"_

_"Yes."_

_Within a matter of minutes, his eyes began to get heavy, and I placed him back down into a laying position so he could rest. While he was sleeping, I carried his laundry bin to the sink and filled it up with soapy water. Afterwards, I began unloading his dirty clothes into the sink to wash them. In his pile were a few shirts, one with an ink stain on the front of it, a night shirt, a few pairs of trousers and some underwear. He dressed like a normal human being, and yet, in the past I had thought differently. I believed him to be a monster, but never took the time to get to know his heart. I was cruel back then, and didn't dare to be like that now. Erik needed me, and by god, he was going to have me._

_I scrubbed all of his laundry as if washing glass, before hanging it up over the fire to dry. I was hanging up his last pair of underwear when I heard the sound of sobbing coming from his room. I rushed to the doorway, and looked in only to see him laying with his back turned towards me, heaving with cries._

_"Erik?"_

_I rushed to his side, and placed my hand on his shoulder._

_"Erik, what's wrong?"_

_"I…I'm not worthy of any love…" he sobbed._

_"What makes you think that?"_

_"B..Because I should have protected you…Those men touched you so inappropriately, and yet, I couldn't stop them."_

_I wouldn't have Erik talking like this. It wasn't his fault, he didn't have any power over what happened. I rolled Erik onto his back, and wiped his tears away with my thumb._

_"Erik, don't cry. You didn't have any control over what happened."_

_"I can't even take a girl out to dinner without getting tormented." he pulled the covers over his head, and sobbed louder. "I would understand if you never wanted to have dinner with me again."_

_I peeled back the blankets, and smiled._

_"Erik, I want to have dinner with you every night. You can't be afraid to go out into the world just because you get knocked down."_

_"It's not getting knocked down that scares me, it's the thought of you getting knocked with me. You're not a freak, I am….But you will get tormented just because you're with me."_

_"I'm not afraid, Erik. Life may knock us down, but we can choose to get back up again. As for me, I will always stand up, dust my dress off and then reach my hand out to you to help you up. But for now, it's apparent that you won't be going out for sometime, so until then, I'm the chef."_

_"I don't want you to be my maid." he coldly stated. "You don't deserve that."_

_"I'm not doing anything I haven't wanted to do."_

_"Just do me a favor and don't do anything until I ask it of you."_

_As much as I hated it, I obeyed his request A chore completed every now and then without Erik knowing wouldn't hurt._

_"Yes, Erik."_

_"Because I don't want you constantly working while I lay here doing nothing."_

_"You have a deal, just promise me you'll keep your anger away."_

_"I'll try." Erik closed his eyes, and pressed his face into his pillow. "But you know I can't promise anything."_

_"Are you cold?"_

_I noticed that his shivering had only gotten worse over the past few minutes. I placed my hand back over his forehead only to feel his hot skin burning through it._

_"You're fever is rising. I'm going to start a compress that will hopefully bring down your fever."_

_I went to the kitchen, and wet a cloth in cool water before bringing it back to lay over Erik's forehead._

_"That's making me feel even colder." he shivered._

_I pulled my quilt from off my bed, and covered Erik with it._

_"Just let me know when your compress gets warm."_

_"I'll be happy when it does."_

_I tucked him in, and fluffed the pillow that was behind his head._

_"Would you like anything to drink or eat? I'll make you anything."_

_"No, just perhaps some dinner later on."_

_"And what would you like?"_

_Erik groaned, and opened his red eyes._

_"You're acting like a maid again."_

_"Sorry."_

_"You know what I can and can't eat. Just make anything light that won't make me vomit later."_

_"Right away, sir." I teased._

_"Not funny, Christine."_

_I giggled, and headed towards the doorway._

_"Erik?"_

_"Yes, Christine?"_

_"Get some rest."_

_With that, I left the room to finish the wash. Erik was my patient, and like a nurse, I was beginning to fall in love with him._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review. More to come soon! Oh, and I always like getting people's ideas into my story, so if anyone has something they've been dying to see in this story, please don't hesitate on letting me know. **


	14. Chapter 14

"_All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,_

_And for us to be together, to never be apart._

_But now as I see the look in your eyes_

_I know the fear is real and so are the cries._

_In my heart this hurts so much_

_To never feel your angelic touch_

_But know I shall always love_

_My angel that soars high above…" _-Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_Christine had helped me through the second darkest hour of my life. It was like I had fallen asleep from all the agony I was in, and woke within a wonderful dream. Christine, the girl of my dreams was massaging my feet, changing my shirts and caring for my wounds. Ten years ago, this woman would have never done this fore me. But why was she doing it now? I knew it was probably to pay me back for letting her stay. In my heart, I knew I still held feelings for this woman, but knew those feelings would never come alive. I was too afraid of having my heart broken again, for I knew at this moment the only thing holding the two halves of my heart together were a few paperclips. If I was to open my heart and love Christine again, I knew it would shatter. _

_Christine had called out a doctor, but he was as useful as a white crayon. It had been the same doctor who had told me I would never walk again when I was first beat to a pulp. He even suggested that I check myself into an asylum. I knew it would eventually happen, but as for now, I wasn't giving up. When my pain became too much to handle, Christine shot me up with a dose of my morphine, and I was able to fall into a feverish slumber. My body couldn't make up its mind what it wanted to do. I was hot, then I would turn cold, then hot again…I tossed within my blankets, pulling more on me, and then shedding them when I became too hot, but that wasn't all; I was also dreaming. It was horrible! A horrible nightmare! I was back in the gypsy camp, my master pulling me to a tree…the same tree where the worst night of my life happened. I was ten, my body trembling as my master tore away my clothes piece by piece. I cried "no" over and over again, but he wouldn't listen to me. He slammed my face up against the bark, and took me from behind…_

"_Erik! Erik wake up!"_

_I jolted awake, covered in sweat, and gasping for air. I plopped back down against my pillows, and ran my fingers through my hair, wiping the sweat away from my forehead. _

"_Erik? You were screaming."_

"_I'm fine." I assured, opening my eyes only to notice the pouring rain hitting against the window above my bed. _

"_You were having a nightmare, would you like to talk about it?"_

"_No, I would not." my anger came out just a tiny bit, but it was enough to scare her._

"_Sorry, Erik, I didn't mean to anger you." she paused, and placed a bowl of soup down on the night table. "I made you supper."_

"_Thank you."_

_I closed my eyes, and relaxed my body once more._

"_Well, aren't you going to eat? It's going to get cold."_

"_I haven't the strength. I'll eat later."_

"_Here, let me feed you."_

_Christine went for the bowl, but I stopped her. I wouldn't be treated like a baby!_

"_Damn you, woman, leave me be."_

"_Erik, you should really get a bath. You've been sweating and while you're getting cleaned up, I could change your sheets."_

"_What do I look like? A helpless child?"_

_Christine lowered her head, and bit her lip._

"_No, I just want you to be comfortable."_

_I sighed, Christine was right. Damn my anger for treating her like that. She turned to leave, when I called for her._

"_Christine?"_

_She turned and looked at me, her eyes filled with sadness. Christ! She was only trying to help. _

"_I….I'll get a bath. I do smell just a bit filthy."_

_Christine simply nodded, and headed towards the bathroom door. She seemed so upset, and I knew it was because of me._

"_I'll draw you a bath."_

_With that, she disappeared behind the door. It was my worst memories that fueled my anger, and sadly, all I had were bad memories. When Christine returned, she pulled back the blankets and gently lifted my legs over the side of the bed. I cringed, but Christine pulled me to my feet and kept her hold on me as she slowly walked me to the bathroom. If it wasn't for her holding me up, I was sure to have fallen to the floor. Getting to the bathroom took every ounce of energy out of my body, and when she placed me down on the toilet, I sighed. _

"_Christine, I'll unclothe myself." I told her, my voice soft and kind. "Just change my sheets and come back in a few minutes."_

_Christine didn't argue, and left me alone. I was glad because I didn't want her to see the horrible scars that covered my body. It took a few moments to disrobe myself, but once I was completely naked, I lifted my legs over the side of the tub, and slipped into the warm, soapy water._

_If I was feeling anything right now, it was the guilt of how I had treated Christine. She didn't deserve such treatment, and yet she had received it. I sat there massaging my mangled legs, letting the sweat and blood slip from my body. The room was silent…too silent. Had I really upset her that much?_

"_Christine?"_

_I called her name, hoping she would answer me. Only she didn't answer me, she came barging into the bathroom as if I were drowning in the bathtub._

"_Erik, don't scare me like that."_

_I sat up, letting the top part of my back expose itself to her. _

"_Christine, I must apologize to you. I didn't mean to yell like I did."_

_She didn't say anything, and simply nodded before taking a seat on the toilet._

"_I freshened the sheets on your bed."_

"_Thank you, and thank you for making me dinner. I'm just tired and irritable."_

"_Well then, it's best for you to sleep anyway."_

_Christine grabbed a towel, and gently dried my hair with it. _

"_Can you stand?" she asked._

"_Perhaps, but I don't want to stand with you in my presence. Please respect my privacy."_

_Christine seemed to understand, for she left the bathroom, and came back carrying a long nightshirt. She turned away from me, to let me stand in privacy, and once I stood up from the tub I placed the shirt on. The shirt was so long that it came down to my knees, covering my whole body._

"_You can turn now."_

_I was leaning against the wall in my nightshirt, waiting for Christine to help me back into bed. She took me by the arm and helped me lay down before fluffing the pillows under my legs. _

"_Thank you."_

"_Are you comfortable?"_

"_Yes, extremely…." Christine began to walk towards the door, when I stopped her. "I'm hungry, but I can't possibly feed myself."_

_Christine turned with a slight smile on her face._

"_Does this mean you want me to feed you?"_

"_I need to eat don't I?"_

_Christine didn't say another word in fear that I would become angry again, and sat down on the side of my bed. As much as I hated being fed, I opened my mouth to receive each spoonful that she was holding towards me. The soup didn't taste bad at all, and I actually enjoyed it…I would have enjoyed it more if I didn't have Christine feeding it to me. When I reached my limit, I stopped her, and relaxed against my pillow. When Christine left with the empty bowl, I had expected her to return to my room, but she didn't. Though, I could see her shadow on the wall in the other room, and from what it was displaying, it seemed as though she was sitting by the fire, probably reading one of the many books I kept on the side tables. I didn't care, for I was extremely tired and my morphine was working. _

_Though, when I closed my eyes again, I went right back to the same nightmare. Only this time, I was face down on the ground in front of a bonfire. The gravel was digging into my flesh, as I felt two large hands pulling down my torn trousers. My own hands dug themselves into the gravel, pleading over and over again for my master not to do it. _

"_Shut up you little demon!" he shouted this as he turned me over on my back. "You will obey your master!"_

_His monstrous hands fondled with the buttons of his own pants, as I laid there helpless and sobbing._

"_You should be happy to be having this done to you. For there is no woman on this earth that will ever want the body of a demon."_

_I laid there looking around, my body sweating and waiting for the pain that was to come. As I was, from behind the fire, I saw Christine…. She was standing there watching the whole thing.. I held my hand out to her, pleading her to help me._

"_Now you will pleasure me with your mouth, demon." my master growled._

_I was grabbed by my hair, and forced onto my master, I cried, but my master held a knife to my neck. My eyes continued to watch Christine, but she only began laughing…She was laughing at me!…._

"_Erik! Erik, wake up!"_

_I jolted awake, coughing and gasping for air._

"_You're sweating."_

_It was Christine. She hurried away to the other room, giving me just enough time to catch my breath. When Christine returned, she was carrying a glass of water, and a damp cloth. Some hours must have passed, because the last time I saw her she was wearing a dress, but now she was in her nightgown, and her bed's covers were no longer neat. Damn me! I had woke her up! She forced the cup under my lips, and made me drink the cold water that was filled in it as she wiped my face with the cloth._

"_Erik, would you like to talk about it?"_

_I finished my water, before tearing off my mask and throwing it across the room in anger. I then buried my face into my hands and sobbed. Why! Why had I been born so hideous? Why had God placed me on this earth only to be molested and raped by an evil man, abandoned by the only woman I ever loved, and tormented by everyone? Why? I was waiting for Christine to leave me, just like she left me ten years ago, but instead, she sat beside me and placed her hand over my back._

"_Erik, please tell me what's wrong. Please tell me why you're so upset."_

_How could I ever open my heart to this girl? How could I ever tell her about my past?_

"_You would laugh." I sobbed. _

"_Erik, I would never laugh at you. The world may laugh, but I could never be so cruel."_

"_You would think differently of me. If I told you the things that have happened to me, you would find me just as filthy as I do."_

_I tried to face her, but she only closed her eyes and handed me my mask. _

_I snatched it from her, and placed it on._

"_How can I tell you such things when you can't even look at me. Oh, Christine, all I ever wished for was someone who could look at me and love."_

"_Erik, please, tell me….tell me."_

_I was glad she couldn't bear to look at me, for I rolled over and sobbed face down into my pillow. How could I bear to look at Christine and tell her that I was molested._

"_I…I had horrible things done to me."_

_I squeezed the pillow close to my body, and rolled over on my back._

"_I had a master who….who enjoyed molesting me."_

_I pressed my eyes shut, and waited for the laughs that were bound to start….But instead of a laugh, Christine gasped. She gasped….No one had ever felt sorry for me, not even my own mother…I opened my eyes, to see Christine sitting there with tears running down her cheeks._

"_Erik…I…I…never knew…"_

_I wrapped my arms around my chest as if giving myself a hug, how embarrassing it was to be telling her this. _

"_You never knew because you never asked. Do you think I enjoy telling people how the only act of sex I've ever experienced is getting raped from behind and giving a man pleasure…."_

_I felt my stomach churn at this point, and leaned over to vomit into the chamber pot that was under my bed. When I finished, Christine pulled me back onto my pillows and wiped her eyes. _

"_You must think me to be just as hideous on the inside as on the outside. I don't blame you…"_

"_I don't think any different of you."_

_My heart stopped when she said this. How could this not change her opinion about me? _

"_I'm glad you told me, Erik. I feel for you."_

_My breath caught in my throat, and she leaned down to wipe my mouth with a cloth._

"_I'm glad you told me because now, I know what your nightmares are about. It bothered me not to know what bothered you. Do you always have them?"_

_I nodded._

"_They're not as bad as they used to be, but they do haunt me at least three nights out of the week."_

"_When I used to have nightmares, do you know what my father did to make them go away?"_

_I shrugged._

"_He would make me hot chocolate."_

_I tried to smile at her positive attitude, but couldn't, for my nightmares were still haunting me. _

"_Well, what do you say?"_

"_You would make me hot chocolate?"_

_Christine laughed, and helped me up. _

"_Come on, let's get you out of this bed for a while. As much as it is needed, there's a saying about how too much of a good thing isn't good."_

_It hurt so much to be lifted up to my feet, but Christine never let me go as she drug me out into the kitchen. I couldn't bend my legs to walk, but Christine held her patience with me. Once we were there, she sat me down in my usual chair, and propped my legs up on the chair beside it. _

"_Could you get me my robe?" I asked her. "Please."_

_I usually never said please, but this girl, this angel had been so kind to me that it would only be monstrous of my not to use manners. She filled a pot with some water before setting it on the stove and walking into the next room. When she came back, she was carrying my black robe in her hands, and helped me put it on._

"_Better?"_

"_Yes, thank you. Where are my braces?"_

_Christine walked away, and came back carrying the destroyed braces and placed them down in front of me. There were screws missing, bent and twisted pieces of metal sticking from them…Yes, I was great at fixing broken objects, but these would take me weeks to fix; not that I was going to be walking anytime soon. _

"_Fixable?" Christine questioned._

"_It's going to take a miracle to save these. I'll get them to my workshop in Phantasma as soon as I can."_

_I placed them on the floor, and Christine took a seat in the chair beside the one my legs were propped up on. _

"_I bet it feels good to get out of that bed."_

_She gently placed one of my feet into her lap, and began massaging it. This took me by surprise. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, it's just that I couldn't get used to this. I was so used to living alone without a single loving touch, but now….now was so different. My foot crackled beneath her touch, and I sighed deeply. On the kitchen table, I noticed a few of my scores sitting there, and reached over to grab them. My desk was beckoning me, but I knew I couldn't walk over there. Instead, I stayed satisfied with just looking over the unfinished score I had in my hands while Christine continued to massage my foot. _

"_What are you reading?"_

"_It's a score to some new music I'll have performed in the spring."_

"_You still write?"_

_My eyes moved from my page to her._

"_Yes, but only scores for carousels and pipe organs."_

"_Why? You write songs so well. You did write them for me back in Paris."_

"_In my mind I hear melodies pure and unearthly, but I find I can't give them a voice…." I gulped. "Without….you."_

_Her touch on my foot became extra soft, and I couldn't even bear to look at her._

"_You know, Erik, I could sing for you….right now…"_

_I couldn't! I wouldn't allow her to do such a thing. If I heard her voice, I would never be able to let her go again. Her voice is the exact thing that had trapped me into loving her before, and I wouldn't allow it to happen again. My heart wouldn't be able to take it!_

"_No, please don't sing for me."_

"_But why? You always loved when I sang for you."_

"_That was in the past, Christine."_

"_But you just said…."_

"_Enough!" I screamed this, but I quickly corrected myself, and let my voice repeat this in an even softer tone. "Enough…."_

_It was then that the water in the pot began to boil, and Christine stood up to stop it._

"_Erik, where do you keep your chocolate?"_

"_On the top shelf."_

_There was only a little bit of chocolate in the cabinet because I couldn't eat it. I once ate a small piece, and it made me vomit. _

"_Don't add too much of it into mine." I reminded her. "I don't feel all so well."_

_Christine placed the small mug of hot chocolate down in front of me, before joining me again with her own. _

"_I have to go into town tomorrow." she said. "We need produce and we're running out of bread."_

_I was so tired, that the only thing I could do was nod. I took a sip of my hot chocolate, only to see her hand stretched across the table, and placed itself over my feverish forehead._

"_Erik, you should really see a doctor. Your fever is very high, and I know your legs are bothering you, not to mention the wound on your head."_

"_You brought a doctor over here and he did nothing."_

"_Erik, I could find one who cares for the oddities."_

_I slammed my mug down on the table, and squeezed my fists._

"_So that's what you think I am; a freak! I don't need special attention, Christine."_

"_I didn't say that you did."_

"_Then why are you suggesting a doctor who cares for freaks? Is that what I am to you!"_

"_No, you're not, but you need a doct…"_

"_No, I do not! I don't need anything from you and especially some doctor!"_

"_Your legs need tending to, and I am not a nurse!"_

"_Nor are you helping me!"_

_I didn't care that I was in pain, I was so angry, that I stood up, forgetting about my legs, only to fall on the floor. _

"_Erik!"_

_My body screamed in agony, and I lifted myself up by my arms, but couldn't find the strength to stand. Christine rushed to my side, and lifted me up._

"_I don't need your help!" I argued. "I've been alone ten god damn years, and I don't need you now."_

"_You're going to kill yourself, Erik."_

_Christine wouldn't listen to me, and helped me back into bed before I seriously hurt myself. She once again propped my legs up on the pillows and covered me up with my blanket. _

"_Erik, tomorrow you and I are going to the doctor's office. You can't stay in this condition, it will do you no good."_

_This girl was only trying to help me, and yet I had yelled at her again. Why did I find it so hard to be kind? Deep down within my heart I knew there was some kindness within it, but why did I find it so hard to show her that kindness? Perhaps it was because my body still knew the pain she had put me in ten years ago….or maybe it was my heart protecting me again. Even if my heart was trying to keep me from getting hurt, she didn't deserve to be treated like this. She has shown me nothing but kindness since she's been here…Yes, maybe it was a little overbearing at times, but still, her heart was in the right place….Damn me! Damn me for thinking like this! This was the same woman who called me hideous and left, why was I seeking the kindness in her? _

"_Christine?"_

_She had been walking towards the door, but turned when she heard my soft voice._

"_Yes, Erik?"_

"_Don't let me fall asleep alone. I know my nightmares will only come back if you do."_

_Christine turned off the lights in the kitchen, and walked back to her bed. It was then that I was able to close my eyes. I believed her to be in bed, but when I heard the sound of moving furniture, I opened my eyes to see her pushing her bed up against my own. _

"_Christine?"_

_I didn't know what she was up to, but my heart's pace quickened once she crawled in beside me. Yes, our beds were only big enough for one person, but when both beds were pushed together, it created one big enough for the both of us. Why? Why was she doing this to me? She took both of our quilts, and covered them over both of our bodies. _

"_Christine?"_

_No, she couldn't sleep here! I was a virgin! My body was begging for this! I couldn't give my body what it wanted, for if I did, I would never be able to let Christine leave in the spring. Why couldn't she just sleep in her own bed? What was she doing? I knew if she touched me now, my world would shatter in two and I would once again be obsessively in love with her._

"_Calm down, it's going to help with your nightmares." she assured. "When I was a girl, my father would sleep with me."_

"_You shouldn't be doing this…"_

"_Why? Because I'm married? Erik, it's only to help you. I won't touch you, this I swear."_

_Christine stayed to her word, and kept her arms at her side. This was torture for my body. Never had she laid beside me before. I sighed, and placed my head down on my pillow, closing my eyes and inhaling the smell of her hair that was so close to me. And it was then, for the first time in my entire life that I was able to sleep without fear. No more did I feel coldness beside me, for I felt the heat of her own body laying up against my own. Perhaps I couldn't find the strength within me to love her like I had in the past, but one thing was for sure, this, was heaven…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Next chapter will be fluffy and cute. Oh, and some of you have been wanting me to update Phantom Royale, and I promise you that I will…It is not abandoned, just placed on hold for the time being, but I promise that it will be updated as soon as I get a chance to think about the next chapter. Thanks! **


	15. Chapter 15

_"Together is where we belong,_

_With passion so much brighter,_

_Than any sparkling light,_

_We've waited for so long,_

_And prayed for this very night_

_So let us kiss and seal our love_

_The love you and I know is right."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_The following morning, I awoke extra early to prepare myself for my outing into town with Erik. I had pushed our beds together the previous evening in order to help him sleep easier without nightmares. I never knew much about his past, but when Erik told me what his master had done to him…well, it just devastated me. I promised to keep to my own side of the bed, and I did throughout the night. While I dressed, I couldn't help but glance over at Erik who was still fast asleep. I wanted to let him sleep as long as possible before having to go out. His anger scared me, but his temper was far worse. If we were to get around Coney Island this morning, it wasn't going to be by foot due to the condition of Erik's legs._

_After throwing on my cloak, I grabbed a set of keys Erik had in his top desk drawer. Afterwards, I quietly left the flat, and headed towards the Phantasma stables. If Erik was going to be getting out today, he was going to need to ride atop of his horse, Cesar. I unlocked the door with the key, and walked down the isles of animals, searching for Cesar's gate. Once I reached him, the beautiful stallion neighed as I patted him on the muzzle._

_"Come on, boy." I cooed. "Let's get some fresh air."_

_I attached some reigns to Cesar, and led him out of his gate. The horse trotted happily down the isles of the stable and out the front door. The rain had stopped, leaving Phantasma full of hardened, icy snow. Once I was in front of the flat, I tied Cesar to a nearby pole, and headed back upstairs to fetch Erik. I was quite surprised, when I opened the door, and found him dressing himself. Had he decided to go see the doctor after all? He was sitting up in bed, struggling with his shirt, and fumbling over the buttons._

_"Here, let me help you."_

_I hurried to his side, but Erik wouldn't have any of it. He refused my help, and I obeyed his request. He was so stubborn sometimes. Why wouldn't he just let me help him? While he was wrestling with his shirt, I fetched his jacket from the hanger and helped him place it on._

_"It's cold outside." I warned him. "Better button it up."_

_"I know that, woman."_

_Erik tried to grab his wig, but I handed him his hat instead._

_"Best not to place that on your head until the doc has a look at your injury."_

_He didn't argue, only grabbed the hat from my hands and placed it on._

_"And might I ask how we're getting around today? Surely you're not thinking about dragging me all over town."_

_I helped Erik to his feet, and pulled him towards the door._

_"Of course not. I have transportation."_

_Once we were outside the door, Erik locked it, and held onto my as I helped him down the stairs. After stepping down each one, I stopped to let him catch his breath before helping him down another._

_"I can't do this." he cringed after stepping down to the tenth stair. "I think I'm going to be sick."_

_"All more the reason you need a doctor."_

_When we were finally on the last stair, Erik stood there while I brought Cesar to him. He looked at his horse, and then to me in confusion._

_"You can't be serious."_

_"But I am."_

_I knew Erik didn't like the idea, but he needed a doctor, and wasn't going to get very far by me dragging him along._

_"Damn you, woman." was all he mumbled before grabbing onto the reins and letting me swing his body over the side of Cesar's back._

_"Comfortable?" I asked, looking up at him._

_"As I'll ever be."_

_With that, I took the reins, and began walking towards Coney Island. The wind was gusting, causing my cloak to want to blow right off my body. When I looked up to check on Erik, he too was having a hard time staying situated. On the other side of Coney Island, there was a small doctor's office that was decorated in Christmas lights and garland. Figuring that I'd try this one out, I tied Cesar to a tree, and helped Erik down off his back._

_"You ok?" I asked._

_"Yes, I just loath doctors is all."_

_It took a few moments to get Erik inside, but once we were, I sat him down in a nearby chair and signed him in. As I was, the receptionist behind the desk stopped me._

_"If this is for you, Madame, we don't treat regulars here; oddities only."_

_"It's not for me, it's for my friend." I moved aside so the receptionist could see Erik._

_"Mister E?" she questioned._

_"Yes." God! Everyone in Coney Island knew Erik._

_"What's wrong with him?"_

_I finished filling out the clipboard, and placed the pen down._

_"He was beaten by some people a few nights ago. They bashed in his legs, and ever since then, he's had a fever and trouble walking around. I just want the doctor to take a look at him."_

_She smiled, and took the form I had filled out._

_"Right away."_

_I took my seat beside Erik in the deserted waiting room, and rubbed his leg._

_"How do you feel?" I softly asked._

_"My legs are bothering me worse than my head."_

_"I'm sure the doctor will help you."_

_When I heard a door open, I looked up to see a tall, old man in a white jacket walking towards us._

_"Mister E?"_

_I smiled._

_"That's us."_

_The man smiled, and extended his hand to me._

_"I'm Dr. McGrath."_

_"I'm Christine, and this…"_

_"Is Mister E, Phantasma's wonderful creator. Yes, I am a fan but never imagined I'd have the pleasure of treating you."_

_Erik turned from the man, and wrapped his arms around his chest._

_"Can we please just get this over with."_

_"Sure, come this way."_

_I helped Erik to his feet, and gently walked him to the next room where a examination table was placed._

_"Ok, Mister E, I'm going to need you to take off your pants and lay down on the table."_

_Erik looked at me upon hearing this, but I knew it was only so the doctor could examine his legs. I had Erik lean on my shoulder as I unbuttoned his trousers, and pulled them down to his knees. Afterwards, I helped him lay down on the table where I completely pulled them off._

_The doctor ran his fingers over Erik's wounds, and gasped._

_"That's horrible."_

_"They destroyed his leg braces too." I added_

_"I can give him a pair of new ones. There doesn't seem to be any broken bones, but he should stay off his feet as much as possible."_

_The doctor wrote this down on Erik's form._

_"He has a wound on his head too." I said._

_I was then asked to leave the room so Erik could be examined fully, and I stepped out to wait. Erik didn't seem to want me to leave, but I knew it wasn't proper to see him completely naked…. Though lately, the thought of it has interested me. A few moments later, Erik came stumbling out with two new braces on his legs, and a vile filled with pills._

_"So anything good?" I asked._

_Erik looked down at the vile of pills, and rolled his eyes._

_"Well, I'm anemic and apparently underweight. Though vomiting every second of every day doesn't help that matter now does it?"_

_I could hint the anger in his voice, so I switched the subject._

_"What's in the vile?"_

_"Something to lower my fever and take away some of the pain."_

_"What about your head?"_

_"He cleaned it out."_

_Erik checked his pocket watch, as we walked out._

_"Would you like to accompany me into town?"_

_Erik put away his watch, and climbed atop of Cesar, cringing as he swung his legs over his back._

_"Could we possibly go to my workshop?"_

_Why? Why did Erik feel the need to go there?_

_"You're sick, Erik. It's best to buy some vegetables and go home."_

_"Right, but I'd feel much better if you allowed us to go to my workshop for a while."_

_I wasn't budging, Erik was sick and going home was the best for him._

_"No, Erik, we're not going to your workshop."_

_I took the reigns in my hand, and began to walk Cesar back towards town, but Erik, being the stubborn man that he was, pulled the reins from my hand and stormed past me. I chased after him, almost falling on the ice several times._

_"Erik! Stop!" I called after him, hoping he would stop, but he didn't. I chased him all the way to the Phantasma library, where he finally stopped and hopped off Cesar's back. I was completely out of breath by the time I caught up with him._

_"So I see you caught up after all." Erik sneered._

_Anger was something that didn't come easily to me, but when Erik made me chase after him, I couldn't hold back my anger any longer. I was burning inside to a point where my actions acted faster than my thoughts, and I slapped him hard across the face._

_The slap had hurt him so much, that he placed his hand over his cheek._

_"Don't ever do that again!" I yelled. "I could have slipped and fallen on the ice, Erik. If you want to kill yourself that's one thing, but don't go risking my life too."_

_Erik angrily tied Cesar's reins to a pole, and turned to me, his breath showing within the cold atmosphere._

_"You're right." he lowered his head. "I shouldn't have done that. I…I don't know what I was thinking. I can be completely selfish sometimes, I'm sorry."_

_"Well, if you insist on killing yourself, we might as well go inside. We're already here."_

_"We'll only stay a few minutes."_

_"And then you'll go shopping with me?"_

_He nodded. "And then home, I promise."_

_I followed Erik inside the building that was in darkness, only to gaze at two levels of book shelves. I spun around, amazed at how many books there were._

_"This is amazing. I've never seen so many books."_

_"Well, I needed someplace to keep them all."_

_"You read all of these?" my jaw dropped. There had to be more than a million books stored here._

_"I've had a lot of time on my hands the past ten years. Reading took my mind off of being alone….come along."_

_I continued following Erik to a bookshelf, where he lifted the spine of a red leather book, causing the whole shelf to open._

_I was scared, but followed Erik inside the opening. When it closed behind me, a light came on, and a beautiful workshop appeared. There were models of skeletons lined against the wall, an organ, a couch, and a large work desk placed all around. Along with these objects, there was also a platform set out with a whole scale model of Phantasma. I approached it, and looked at the beautiful hand carved model. There were also carved people set on the rides, and all around the park._

_"Erik, it's beautiful."_

_Within moments, Erik was standing beside me._

_"Oh….You…you shouldn't be looking at that."_

_"Erik, why don't you want me looking at it? Did you do all this?"_

_"I…I carved everything by hand."_

_I looked down at the carved people, and ran my fingers over one of them. The carving was of a man with painted slacks, and a flannel shirt._

_"Who's this?"_

_"Nathan….from Nathan's hotdogs."_

_I smiled; it really did look like him._

_"You did a great job."_

_Erik turned his back to me, and started walking away. I looked back down at the model, and saw something I never seen in Phantasma. It was a model of a small white church with rose bushes surrounding it. I smiled, and bent down to look inside only to gasp in surprise. There at the alter was a hand carved and painted model of Erik standing beside a woman in a wedding dress. I reached inside and took the model of the woman out to get a better look at her. It was me! The woman was me! She had brown curls just like me!_

_"You even made me?"_

_Erik was standing close to his desk, but when he seen me holding the model, he came rushing over and grabbed it out of my hand._

_"I told you not to look at it."_

_When he tried to cover the model with a white sheet, I stopped him._

_"Erik, it's ok."_

_His fingers moved over my model, before slowly placing her back into the church beside the model of himself._

_"You must understand, Christine, that placing myself around this model of Phantasma is the only thing that keeps me happy."_

_"But why?"_

_Erik had tears in his eyes, but never let them fall._

_"Because I can control my life the way I want to control it. I can make things happen in this model that I can never make happen in real life."_

_"Why is the church in this model, but not in Phantasma?"_

_"Because this church was something I wanted to build for you. I know how much you loved praying to your father, and always thought you were coming back to me. I didn't want to believe you were with Raoul, and for years I waited for you. And when you returned, I was going to have this church built as a surprise….and….and marry you in it…"_

_Erik threw the sheet on the model, and sadly stumbled back to his desk._

_"Stupid dream, right?"_

_I pulled the sheet off the model, and looked back inside the church. In Erik's mind, his thoughts were beautiful, and yet, I had shattered that beauty. He waited….Erik had waited for me to return to him…He was going to build a church just for me to pray for my father in….Damn me! Damn me for ever leaving him. I reached inside the church, and took out the model of Erik. It looked so much like him, even the painted mask on his face resembled the one he wore. I don't know what came over me, but I placed my lips down on its face, and kissed him._

_"It's not a stupid dream." I whispered._

_Erik was sitting over at his desk, working on a some sort of rubble that was scattered all over it._

_When Erik wasn't looking, I placed the model of the two of us into the pocket of my cloak and turned away. As Erik continued working, I looked under the platform to see a box filled to the brim with some sort of garland. Curious, I pulled out the box and looked inside it._

_"Erik, what is this?"_

_Erik looked up from his work, and sighed._

_"Christmas decorations. The first year Phantasma was open I had this crazy idea to open the park for Christmas. I bought the newest decorations no body even had yet and decorated every inch of the park. Only there was a horrible blizzard the night before I was supposed to open, and it didn't end until Christmas was long over. So I took the decorations down, and they've been in that box ever since."_

_"How come you never tried doing it another year?"_

_Erik continued with his work as he explained why._

_"The winters here have only been getting worse. I decided it was better not to waste my time."_

_I pulled out some of the garland, and lights that were wound up inside the box._

_"Could we decorate the flat with this stuff?"_

_"If you want to. I have no use for it."_

_Back when I lived with Raoul, his estate was always draped in garland around Christmas, but the decorations that were in this box were like nothing I had ever seen before. There were things I didn't even know what to call…_

_Like Erik promised, he finished his work, and stood up._

_"Ok, we can go now."_

_I carried the box as Erik locked up his workshop. Once we were back outside, I tied the box onto Cesar's back and tried to help Erik, but he refused._

_"I'm fine."_

_Once Erik was situated, I began to lead Cesar into town, but had a hard time walking because of the icy patches. I almost fell numerous times, but caught myself before it could happen._

_"Christine, why don't you come up here with me? It's better than breaking a leg."_

_Erik was right, and I found it extremely kind of him to offer._

_"Ok."_

_I threw the reins up to Erik, and he extended his hand to me. I took hold of it, and he lifted me up in front of him._

_"You lead the way."_

_As Cesar trotted into town, I felt Erik wrap his arms around me. It was a strange feeling, and I gasped, but it was a good gasp, not a bad one._

_"I'm sorry." Erik said, removing his hands. "I shouldn't have done it."_

_"No…I like it."_

_"Really?"_

_I giggled, and felt Erik's hands wrap themselves back around my waist. I did my shopping quickly to get back home so Erik could rest. I bought a pound of pork, and a few carrots; something just to hold us over until Erik was feeling better. To make it easier on Erik, I dropped him off, and walked Cesar back to the stables. Before leaving him, I fed the faithful stallion, and brushed his mane._

_When I made it back to the flat, it had started snowing again, and the wind was picking up. I had expected to find Erik in bed, but he was sitting in his arm chair, staring into the fire._

_"I thought you would be in bed."_

_"I feel better sitting up for now."_

_While Erik was resting in his chair, I decide to decorate. I pulled some of the garland out of the box, and hung it over the fire place._

_"Erik, could you help me decorate? I don't know half of what this stuff is."_

_I pulled a string of red lights, and placed them around the doorway to our bedroom. I even hung some tiny, silver bells from the wire. I wasn't even done decorating, and the flat already looked so….so romantic and Christmasy._

_"Why do you need me?" questioned Erik. "You're doing a great job."_

_I wanted Erik to help me so badly, I wanted him to participate with me…I reached into the box, and pulled out a strange looking plant with white berries attached to it. I held it to my nose, and smelled it._

_"Hey, don't do that."_

_Erik shot up from his chair, and pulled my hand away from my face._

_"It's poisonous."_

_"Then why is it in the box?"_

_My back was against the wall, and I felt his body press against my own._

_"Don't you know what this is?"_

_I shook my head. I was telling the truth…I had no idea what it was._

_"It's mistletoe."_

_"Mistle what?"_

_Erik fingered the leaves, and hung it above the doorway of our bedroom._

_"There is a tradition."_

_"Tell me about it."_

_I approached Erik, and stood there with him beneath the mistletoe._

_"The god Loki in envy killed the handsome god Balder with a dart made from the mistletoe; all other plants having vowed not to harm Balder; the mistletoe, having been overlooked, was therefore used. According to this pagan tradition the mistletoe dart was plucked out of Balder's fatal wound and given to the goddess of love, Freya. From this, came the custom that a man may kiss a woman if he sees her under the mistletoe."_

_"How do you know this?"_

_"I read it in a book."_

_"And you remembered it?"_

_Erik walked back towards his chair, and took a seat._

_"Yes, how could I forget something I've always dreamed of doing? Plus, I also remembered that if the plant is ingested it could kill you."_

_"Could we eat dinner out here tonight?"_

_Erik picked up one of his books from the side table and opened it._

_"If you'd like."_

_Life with Erik had changed since I first came here. He used to be filled with nothing but anger, but is seemed more and more that I had been getting through to him day by day. Yes, his anger was still there, but so was his kindness. That evening, we sat there by the fire eating our dinner that I had made, while holding a small conversation. Erik's fever had calmed down a bit, and he was no longer sweating._

_"Are you feeling any better?" I asked._

_"My fever has come down, but my legs are killing me. I can't get used to my new braces."_

_I placed down my plate, and lifted Erik's pant legs to remove the contraptions._

_"Better?"_

_"Yes, thanks."_

_"I'm going to clean up. Why don't you get ready for bed?"_

_"Will you join me?"_

_This caught me by surprise. He wanted me to join him? The night before, Erik hated when I moved our beds together, and now he was asking me to join him?_

_"Um…Yes, in a few minutes."_

_"Ok. "_

_"Do you need help getting into bed?"_

_Erik stood up, and reached for his walking stick._

_"I think I'll be ok….If you come in and find me laying on the floor, you know why."_

_God! And he even cracked a joke…Well, it wasn't too funny, but it's what he meant to do. He even smiled…_

_I giggled, and walked out into the kitchen to clean up as fast as I could. When the dishes were dried, I turned out the lights, leaving the red Christmas ones around our doorway lit. Erik was sitting up in bed, wearing nothing but his nightshirt, massaging his legs._

_After slipping on my nightgown, I crawled playfully up to his legs, and began massaging them. And it was then for the first time, I heard Erik moan orgasmically._

_"Oh, Christine!"_

_When this happened, he pulled away, and apologized over and over again._

_"I'm sorry, Christine. I don't know what came over me."_

_"It's perfectly fine."_

_I didn't want to admit it, but for some odd reason, I found the way Erik groaned incredibly sexy. When he sang, he hypnotized me, and when he groaned, it paralyzed me._

_I continued to massage his legs, while he laid there relaxing himself._

_"Oh, Christine, I've never had someone do this to me before."_

_"And how does it feel?" I teased._

_"Wonderful."_

_"I'm glad."_

_"But what of the scars? Do they not bother you? Do my twisted legs not disgust your angelic eyes?"_

_"No, you can't help what happened to you."_

_"Lay with me."_

_Never had Erik asked me to do such a thing. I laid down beside him, and nuzzled my face into his neck. I laid there in silence, taking in the wonderful feeling of laying up against a man. It had been so many years since the last time I had done this. The only time Raoul ever let me lay against him was after we made love, which had been years ago. Most nights I would lay alone in bed without a body to lean against. Erik wasn't even my husband, and yet, he was letting me lay like this. I closed my eyes, and inhaled the wonderful smell of his cologne, but just smelling him wasn't enough…I had to taste him. My lips brushed up against his neck, and soon indulged into his flesh._

_"Oh…."_

_Erik was speechless, completely speechless. I don't know how it happened, but soon my lips were feverishly nipping at his neck as Erik pleaded my name over and over again._

_"Christine, Christine…no, no, please….god…yes…yes…no.."_

_But what was I doing? I had finally gotten Erik's trust, and what do I do? This! When I pulled away, Erik and I both stared at each other, heaving and out of breath._

_I waited for Erik's anger to come out, but he only looked at me, his eyes wide in astonishment._

_"G…Goodnight, Christine." he said this in the calmest voice I had ever heard, right before turning over._

_"Have I upset you?" I asked. "I'm sorry, really…."_

_"Y…You've done nothing wrong." I heard him say._

_Why? Why had I done that? I laid there, looking up at the ceiling. And it was then I heard the most beautiful words._

_"Goodnight, mon ange…"_

_My heart stopped within my chest. Mon Ange? He hadn't called me that in years. He used to call me by that name back in Paris when he was happy. Was Erik happy? Had me sucking on his neck melt his icy heart? Was Erik happy again? Only time would tell…..And I hoped to god, he was, because I wanted to taste him again….If there was one thing I knew, it was that I would never be able to fulfill the hunger my body felt for the man laying beside me….I was starving for him. Perhaps I couldn't bear to look at his face without fear, but the body and heart attached to it was my true love…_

* * *

**Ok everyone, more to come soon! Please, Please, Please review! **


	16. Chapter 16

_"Fool me once, shame on you, Christine_

_fool me twice, shame on me"- _Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_I don't know why, but I couldn't sleep all night! I had been kissed! Maybe not on the lips, but Christine had pressed her lips to my neck. But did she stop then? No! She couldn't get enough of me, Christine couldn't get enough of the Phantom. She kissed and sucked my neck as if I were sweet chocolate. How my body reacted to this wonderful feeling. I wanted to pin her down, and make passionate love to her, but I couldn't. This had been so awkward. I was so frightened over her actions, that I just rolled over and pretended that none of this ever happened. But I couldn't sleep. All night I laid awake, too happy to close my eyes. If this were a dream, I wanted to stay within it forever more. I devised a plan of sorts to do something with her in the morning. Why? Why did I want to spend time with her? She was leaving in the spring, and I knew the closer I got, the harder it was going to be for me to let her go. But my body needed this, it yearned for the company of Christine, the company she was willingly giving me._

_I impatiently waited throughout the night, watching Christine sleep beside me. How I tried to close my eyes and fall asleep, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. When the first ray of sunlight finally hit the window, I gently sat up and reached over for my braces that Christine had placed up against the night table. When they were secured around my legs, I threw on my robe, and quietly headed towards the kitchen to make breakfast. Yes, my body was still pleading for me to stay in bed, but I couldn't. I was the type of person who always needed to be up and about, and laying in bed had only bothered me. I was like a new man, one who for the first time in years was happy. I had begun to think that happiness was just a fantasy for me, but after Christine had kissed my neck, I knew happiness was anything but a dream. It warmed my heart, gave me a burst of energy I hadn't felt in years…Christine had given me life!_

_I stood there in the kitchen, humming a soft tune like a love stricken school boy as I mixed pancake batter. What did I have to be so happy about? My heart was pleading me to snap out of it, reminding me that the woman who had kissed me was married! But in my mind, I argued back saying "Why? Why had she kissed my neck then?" It was like one huge puzzle, one that both my mind and heart couldn't solve. And why was I making breakfast? I never even made breakfast for myself when I was alone, so why was I doing it now?_

_"Erik? What in god's name are you doing up?"_

_The sudden sound had given me a scare, one that caused a horrible pain in my chest. I grasped the pain with my hand, and turned to see Christine standing in the doorway dressed in her night gown._

_I took a breath to collect my thoughts, and rubbed my aching chest._

_"You scared me."_

_"And you should be in bed. Did you not hear what the doctor told you?"_

_"I feel fine." I assured. "The medicine has done me good."_

_I saw Christine crack as smile, and cross her arms._

_"And you're making breakfast?" she seemed just as confused over my actions as I was._

_"Um…Yes, I don't actually know why. But you're more than welcomed to join me."_

_Christine giggled, and I pulled out her chair._

_"After you, Madame."_

_"I'd rather help you, Erik."_

_"Nonsense, everything is already done. Please, take a seat."_

_After making Christine her pancakes, I placed them down in front of her, and sat down with a glass of milk._

_Christine looked up from her plate and to me._

_"Aren't you going to eat?"_

_"I'm not hungry." I lied. What could I have possibly said to her? "Oh yes, Christine, I cannot eat because I'm libel to vomit later."_

_I sipped my milk, and told her to eat her breakfast._

_Christine cut her pancakes, and took a forkful into her mouth._

_"I really wish there was something I could do to get you away from such horrible stomach problems."_

_Her voice was kind and soothing. Christine was only here to help, but in my mind I knew my stomach would never heal, and that I would never be able to eat like a regular human being. As she ate, I tried to think of something we could do together, something that would make her happy. And then I got it! My hands trembled, and my breathing became labored as readied myself to ask her._

_"Christine…"_

_Her eyes looked up from her plate._

_"I…I was thinking that after breakfast you and I could…that is if you're interested….um..go into town and perhaps….pick out a Christmas tree?"_

_Her jaw slightly dropped upon hearing this. Was she upset? Had I upset her?_

_"I'm sorry…." I stood up and gathered her empty plate, trying to switch the subject. "I didn't mean to ask."_

_I was facing the sink, my heart aching from what I had just done. Damn me! This is why I couldn't become soft and gooey for this woman!_

_"Yes, Erik." came a small gasp. "Yes, yes I would love that."_

_I spun around to face her._

_"Really?"_

_She nodded in excitement, and approached the sink._

_"Go get ready, and I'll clean up."_

_I was walking on a cloud! This woman, this angel was accepting my offer. I hurried back to my room in pure ecstasy, rummaging through my wardrobe closet for some clothes. I locked myself in the bathroom, and discarded my robe and pajamas before fumbling with my shirt and black trousers. After brushing my teeth, I removed my mask to wash my face, only to look up in the mirror and see it covered with infectious scabs. My mask, my horrible, uncomfortable mask had made my face even more hideous than it already was. I knew Christine would never look into my eyes without fear, but I couldn't think like this today…No, today was supposed to be happy. She had accepted my offer to go into town, and I was going to make the most of it, no matter how hideous I was. After drying the water from my face, I placed the uncomfortable article back over my sore flesh, and adjusted my cravat before walking out. When I did, Christine was already in her cloak and waiting for me by the door._

_I smiled, and placed my gloves on before walking out with her and locking the door._

_"So where are we going to get a tree?" she asked, skipping along my side._

_"There is a tree lot run by Mr. Squelch; one of my employees. But I was first thinking that we could do some shopping? I need a new fountain pen, and I have to visit the drug store to buy a few things."_

_Christine didn't argue, and stayed close to me as we entered town. As much as I cringed at the thought of walking out of Coney Island and into town, it needed to be done. There were just certain things that could only be bought in the belly of the beast. Yes, the thought of being tormented had run through my brain more than once, but ever since my last beating, I had begun carrying my pocket knife, one of the reasons I visited my workshop just the day before. Yes, I had gone there to check on my robots and such, but when I noticed my pocket knife sitting on my work bench, I didn't hesitate on putting it in the lapel of my jacket. Being prepared is better than having my legs bashed in again._

_From years of living on Coney Island, I had gotten used to the busyness of the town. I had come to learn that right after Thanksgiving, people began Christmas shopping and trying to walk into town unnoticed was nearly impossible. I pulled Christine past the mobs of people, who mind you were already glaring my way, and found sanctuary in the stationary store. I walked down the familiar isles of paper and pencils, until I reached the shelf where the fountain pens were kept. Fountain pens were supposed to last someone at least a few years, but because of all the writing I do and the pressure that my hand presses down on the paper due to my stress and anger, I went through a fountain pen at least once a month. Sometimes the ink would explode in them, other times I would crack the metal part where the ink came out of, but as of a few days ago, my fingers has snapped it in half…I think I was angry at Christine over something, but I can't remember._

_By the time I was ready to go, Christine wasn't beside me. She had been just moments ago, but now she was gone. When I approached the counter to pay for my pen, I sighed in relief when I looked out the window to see her looking at a display of dresses just across the way. Once I paid, I walked out to meet up with her. Her eyes were fixated on a red Christmas gown that was covered in sequence._

_"It's beautiful, I've never seen anything like it in all my life." she said._

_I giggled at the expensive price tag it had displayed right at the foot of the gown._

_"Yes, and I'm sure it will sit here until after Christmas with a price like that."_

_"If I had a party to go to, I would get two jobs just to be able to afford it."_

_Christine didn't yet know, but she could have a party to attend, if she was willing to go with me. For the past ten years, I have been throwing a New Years party for my employees and their families. I barely stayed an hour due to the fact that I had no one to attend it with, but this year I was hoping it would be different, and that Christine would attend it with me. Yes, that dress was expensive, but I had enough money for my great grandchildren to live off of….not that I would ever have children, but it was a fact. There wasn't anything in this world I wouldn't give to someone who loved me. Perhaps I would surprise her with this dress….if she agreed to go with me of course._

_"Come along, Christine."_

_We walked down the block to the drug store where I got all my medicine from. I was running extremely low on morphine, and I needed a new syringe because the needle on the one I was currently using was getting harder and harder to get through my vein. The drug store was crowded with people buying greeting cards and other trinkets. I could feel eyes staring at me, but didn't dare look._

_"I'll be a few moments." I told Christine. "You can go look around if you want."_

_As I stood there at the front counter, giving the pharmacist my order of what I needed, I couldn't help but hear the voice of a man._

_"Hey, freak, you're on the wrong side of the tracks."_

_I didn't turn, nor did I say anything. The pharmacist set down the new syringe I had asked for on the counter and turned to fill a jar with morphine._

_"A syringe?" came the taunting voice again. "What are you? Drugging women and raping them because you can't get one on your own? Too ugly?"_

_Once more I ignored the man, but when I didn't answer this time, I felt him push me in the back of my shoulder._

_"I'm talking to you, freak! Aren't you going to answer me?"_

_In my mind, I wanted to whip out my knife and shut the man up, but I didn't…I continued to ignore him. Moments later, Christine was at my side and I paid for my supplies before walking out with her at my side. But the man didn't stay inside the drug store; he followed us outside._

_"Hey, freak!"_

_Christine turned around, completely appalled by this man's vulgarity._

_"Excuse me." she snarled. "You can't talk to a human being like that, especially Mister E."_

_The man pushed Christine aside, causing her to fall onto the icy streets. This angered me! The man continued plowing towards me, ready to beat me up, but I wasn't going to allow this to happen. I whipped out my knife, and flicked open the blade._

_"Tough freak are you?"_

_"I'm not looking for trouble." I said. "I have just as much right to be here as you do."_

_The man took one glance at my knife, and backed away._

_"If you know what's best for you, you'll stay out of town. You're lucky this time, freak, but I assure you next time you won't be so lucky."_

_With that, the man turned around and fled back towards the drug store. I waited just to make sure he was really gone before putting away my knife, and extending my hand to Christine._

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Yes, are you?"_

_I nodded, and Christine took my arm as we walked out of town and back into Coney Island._

_"Erik, you know I could do your errands for you, so you won't have to come into town."_

_This shattered my heart. Was I really that much of an embarrassment to her? I couldn't blame her._

_"I am a freak to you? One that you're embarrassed to be around. I understand."_

_Christine stopped me right in the middle of Coney Island, and forced me to look at her._

_"Never, Erik. You will never be a freak in my eyes. I just care about your wellbeing and health. I don't want to see you get hurt."_

_"And what am I to do? Sit up in my flat like a prisoner? Because I am too hideous to walk in daylight? Oh, Christine…"_

_I wrapped my arms tightly around my chest, and closed my eyes. I was a prisoner in my mother's attic, I was a prisoner in a gypsy cage, I was a prisoner in the catacombs of the opera house, and now, ten years later, Christine wanted me to be a prisoner of my flat._

_"Come, let's get a tree so we can go home." all emotion had left my voice, leaving me feeling melancholy again. "It's getting cold."_

_When we arrived at the tree lot, I told Christine to get any tree she liked, and stood there watching her move from tree to tree. My heart was aching within my chest, and all I wanted to do was get back to the flat and wrap myself within my music to get my mind off of what Christine had said._

_"Erik, I found one."_

_I looked up, and saw her standing beside a skinny tree that was around my height._

_"Ah, boss, fancy seeing you here."_

_I turned around, and saw Mr. Squelch standing behind me._

_"Yes, good afternoon."_

_The strong, bulky man laughed at the sight of me standing before him._

_"In all my ten Christmas's running this stand, never have I ever seen you here."_

_"It's for a friend." I motioned towards Christine, and Mr. Squelch's eyes widened at her beauty._

_"She's beautiful, boss. Will you be asking her to the New Year's ball? Because if not, I'd like to take her."_

_All that was running through my mind at the moment was "touch her and I'll kill you!"_

_"I…I um…I don't think she'll be staying that long. She's just visiting."_

_I couldn't say yes, and I damn well couldn't tell him that I wasn't taking her. That's all my heart needed was to see Mr. Squelch taking Christine to the ball._

_"Anyway, I'd like that tree."_

_"Your flat's not far from here, boss, I'll carry it there for you."_

_I agreed, and paid Mr. Squelch before walking back to the flat with Christine. This day had gone anything but how I had wanted it to go. First I get taunted in town and then Mr. Squelch wanted to hoard in on Christine! Things just couldn't get any worse._

_Once we were back inside, I plopped down at my desk, and ignored the sounds of Mr. Squelch brining in the tree and Christine's thank you's. When Christine and I were alone again, I heard her rummaging around, but paid no mind._

_"Erik, would you like to decorate the tree with me?"_

_I opened my new fountain pen, and began writing._

_"No thank you." I growled. "Enjoy yourself."_

_"Did I say something wrong?"_

_"You wish to lock me in here just like everyone else." I was so angry that I smudged the words I had just written. "Do I not deserve to walk among men."_

_"Of course, but you don't deserve injuries and verbal abuse. Look, Erik, I'm sorry for suggesting to do your errands. I didn't think it was a big deal to you, and I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway."_

_I then felt her hand on my shoulder._

_"I'm sorry, Erik. I just don't want to see you get hurt."_

_"Do you know what hurts me, Christine? Do you know what hurts worse than being beaten and called names?"_

_"No, I don't."_

_I stood up in once swift motion, and turned to face her, pulling off my mask only to see her face turn to fear. I closed my eyes, and placed my mask back on before turning from her._

_"That. It is only when I wear my mask that I bring you laughter and happiness. Seeing your face turn from happiness to fear because of my monstrous appearance hurts me worse than knives stabbing my heart, worse than any pain that could ever be brought upon me."_

_"I'm still getting used to it, Erik. Don't I have a right to try at least?"_

_"I've been trying my whole life, Christine, and yet, I still look at myself in the mirror and want to vomit at such a sight. I can't even love myself…." I closed my eyes tight. "If I can't love myself, than how can I expect anyone to love me?"_

_"Erik, please decorate the tree with me."_

_I couldn't resist her, and approached the tree. From the box, Christine handed me a star, and pointed to the top of the tree._

_"You're taller than me, Erik."_

_I placed the star atop of the tree, and then, one by one began to take small red and green balls from the box to hang on the tree. It was strange, even when I was a child I was never aloud to decorate the tree with my mother, but now I was doing it with the girl of my dreams._

_"You look tired, Erik."_

_"I didn't get much sleep last night."_

_Christine paused with an ordainment in her hand._

_"I hope it wasn't nightmares that were keeping you awake."_

_"No, the medicine made me a little antsy." I lied._

_"When we're finished with this, you could lay down for a while if you'd like."_

_"I think I might."_

_As I stood there beside the tree, I couldn't help but notice Christine straining to reach one of the branches. How badly I wanted to shy away, but knowing me, I couldn't._

_"Do you need help?"_

_"I can't reach the branch." she giggled._

_I stood behind her, and nervously placed my hands at her waist, and lifted her. Christine laughed playfully when I did this, and hung the ornament of her desired branch. When I placed her down, she turned to me with my hands still on her waist, and embraced my cheek with her hand. My heart was racing a mile a minute upon her touch._

_"H…Have you ever done this with Raoul?"_

_Christine looked at the tree, and then back at me._

_"No. He always had the maids decorate the house. I enjoy this better."_

_In my hand, I held a Christmas ball that I had intended to hang on the tree but when I heard those sweet words come from her mouth, I dropped it. The ball began to roll towards our bedroom, and we both went for it._

_"I got it, Christine."_

_"No, it's alright, I'll get it."_

_When the ball finally stopped rolling, both of us leaned in for it, only to have both of our hands touch and grasp a side of the ball._

_Both of us lifted the ornament to our height, and smiled. I looked down at our hands that were touching one another's and never wanted to let go. She wasn't disgusted by my hand; her fingers were even overlapping my own. But Christine wasn't looking at our hand, she was staring up towards the ceiling. Curious, I lifted my head to do the same, only to see that we were standing beneath the mistletoe. How badly I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't; she was a married woman._

_"Erik?" her voice was soft and pleading._

_"Yes?" my hands were trembling._

_"What is the punishment for not following the tradition?"_

_"The…the tradition for what?"_

_"Mistletoe."_

_I shrugged my shoulders, and looked back up to where it was hanging._

_"I'm not quite sure."_

_I felt her hand on my cheek again, and pressed my own hand against hers._

_"Then it's best to not find out."_

_She pressed her chest up against my own, and I backed up in fright. When I hit the back of the doorway, I was trapped with nowhere else to go. She leaned in, her face was now so close to mine. How badly I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't. I knew if I had that connection with her, I would never be able to let her go when spring came around. She was married, and had to return to her husband. I might be many things, but an extramarital lover is something I will never become._

_"Please, don't." I gently pushed her away from me, and stepped out from beneath the doorway._

_"Erik, what's wrong? Is it a crime to give you something you've always dreamed of?"_

_"Look at your left ring finger, Christine. Have you forgotten that you're married?"_

_Christine fingered her wedding ring, and looked up at me._

_"I don't love him, Erik. I thought I did, but…after spending so much time with you, and realizing…"_

_"Realizing what? That I'm not a monster, that I can treat a girl just like any other man? I begged you ten years ago to give me that chance, and you never listened. The opera is gone, and choices were made….How I wished they could have been different."_

_"They can, Erik." I felt her touch the sleeve of my jacket. "I won't go back to him. We can start a new life together."_

_"What? Being hunted down? What would your husband think? No, Christine."_

_"You once told me that you would grant me anything my heart desired."_

_I pulled away from her grasp, and coldly turned from her teary face._

_"Yes, but you are asking the only thing in my power that I cannot grant. You married, Christine, and when the first roses of spring bloom, you, my dear, will be on the first ship back to Paris."_

_"You're so afraid of getting hurt that you won't even give me a chance!"_

_I was livid now. How dare she come here and say such a thing._

_"Of course I'm afraid, Christine! How can I not be! It's taken me ten years to get over the night you left me! I wanted to die, oh how badly I wished for death. I laid in bed for weeks, wishing for death to take me. I've built a life for myself here in New York, and I know by letting you back into my heart that I'll only crumble and fall within time, and this time, I won't be able to get back up."_

_"Erik…"_

_"No! Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me…"_

_"Don't we all deserve second chances, Erik? You got a second chance at life, so why can't I?"_

_She was right…but could I possibly ever let her back into my heart after what she had done to me? I turned to her, and looked back at the mistletoe._

_"Then prove to me that you deserve a second chance."_

_"But haven't I already proved it to you? I took care of you, massaged your feet and legs…Oh, Erik, you must believe that I care for you…And now…"_

_She paused and walked me back under the mistletoe._

_"And now I'll finish what I wanted to do five minutes ago."_

_My body relaxed against her touch, her body leaned up, but she wasn't tall enough to reach my face with her own, so I leaned down. And it was then, for the first time in my entire life that I felt lips against my own. I had never been kissed before, and even though it wasn't passionate, it was still wonderful. After pressing her lips against mine, she slowly pulled away and smiled._

_"How did it feel?"_

_My heart ached, and I felt the ice melting away, filling itself with the old undying passion I once held for her. I couldn't answer her, I could only turn away and start walking towards my bed._

_"I'm…I'm going to rest." I had tears in my eyes but I couldn't let her see them, I couldn't let her know that my first kiss had brought tears to my eyes._

_"I'll make dinner."_

_With that, I was left laying there in my bed, quietly sobbing to myself….I had been kissed….I had been kissed. Perhaps it wasn't the kind of kiss lovers share, but everything has to start somewhere…_

* * *

**Ok,…More fluff to come…This one wasn't too fluffy, but fluff will be returning in the next few chapters. Please review! Love you all!**


	17. Chapter 17

"_Where is my passion?_

_Far too much pain_

_Where is my passion?_

_Must I love in vain?_

_Where is my passion?_

_I need to know_

_Where is my passion?_

_I want so much to grow_

_Where is my passion?_

_Lost in your lips_

_Where is my passion?_

_I feel for your kiss_

_Where is my passion?_

_Lost in your eyes_

_Where is my passion?_

_Release me to fly_

_Where is my passion?_

_There in your hands_

_Where is my passion?_

_Touch me….expand_

_Where is my passion?_

_Oh, Erik be my man…" -_Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_I had kissed Erik! It was what I had been wanting to do for a long time now. It wasn't passionate, but it was wonderful. His malformed lips up against my own were cold and felt strange, but I didn't mind them at all. How I wanted his lips to indulge every inch of my flesh. When I pulled away, Erik simply turned and went to his room. I knew he was tired, so let him go on his own free will. For a while, I occupied myself with finishing the tree, and cleaning up the mess of decorations I had laying around on the floor. I sat there in Erik's arm chair staring at the tree and taking in its beauty. Erik and I had completed something together, and it was beautiful._

_But it was when I began preparing dinner that I heard the most horrible sound. I had been standing in the kitchen stirring vegetables when I heard a soft whimpering coming from across the flat. It only took me a few moments to realize it was Erik making the sound, and quickly dashed to the bedroom to make sure he was ok. Maybe he had fallen, maybe he had hit his head while trying to stand. I hoped and prayed that my thoughts wouldn't become a reality. When I reached the doorway and looked in, I sighed in relief upon realizing that Erik wasn't hurt, and he was still laying in bed._

_"Erik? Erik, are you alright?"_

_"J…Just go away."_

_I couldn't let him be like this. I approached his bedside, and rubbed his back, hoping he would tell me what was the matter._

_"Tell me what's wrong, Erik. Does something hurt?"_

_Erik sat up, and wiped away his tears._

_"No, nothing hurts, it's just that I'm…I'm happy."_

_Erik was happy. This had been the first time he had ever said this to me._

_"Erik, if you'd like, we could go to your workshop after dinner. That's if you'd like."_

_Erik nodded, and stood up from his bed._

_"Yes, I would like that a lot."_

_Dinner was the same as it was every night. I would be sitting there eating, and Erik would be picking at the tiny helping on his plate. I knew that he liked my cooking, but didn't want to wind up vomiting. After cleaning up the dishes, I put on my cloak and followed Erik through Phantasma to reach the library. It was dark, and cold, but for some odd reason I loved this place. I wanted to explore the library and look at some of the books. Erik on the other hand had begun walking to his secret shelf, only looking back to make sure I was still with him._

_"Do you mind if I have a look around?"_

_Erik stopped when I asked him this, and turned to face me. He didn't seem to like the idea, and looked around before actually agreeing._

_"I'll be in my workshop. I do hope you know which book opens the passageway."_

_"Yes, I do."_

_"Be careful, Christine."_

_"I won't be long."_

_With that, I left Erik and began walking up to the second level of the library. I didn't know where to look first. There were so many shelves and I wanted to look at all of them. Erik had books on everything imaginable. He had Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, books about flowers and animals, even books about love. I could drown myself in such subjects for hours. Figuring that Erik wouldn't mind me taking a book to occupy my mind with, I pulled one titled "Monstre" and carried it with me to the secret passageway. Once the shelf opened, I walked inside to see Erik working on the same pile of junk he had worked on the last time we were here. He was leaning over the pile of junk, fusing some red and blue wires together._

_"Erik, what are you doing?"_

_He looked up at me, and gave a weak smile._

_"Trying to fix one of my animatronics for the haunted house."_

_I approached the table, and realized that the pile of junk I had thought this thing to be was really a skeleton made from metal._

_"What is it supposed to do?"_

_"Howl and moan."_

_"And what seems to be the problem?"_

_Erik continued to play with the two wires, but the moment they both came together, it sparked and shocked Erik's hand. He growled, and stepped back from the smoking animatronic, placing his hurt finger into his mouth._

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Yes, it's happened before."_

_After a few moments, he shooed away the smoke and tore a small chip from its chest._

_"Looks like a fuse. I'll have to order a new one."_

_While Erik was distracted with his work, I began to wander around. His workshop was gigantic, and filled with such beautiful things; things that probably needed to be fixed before being returned to Phantasma. Towards the back of the workshop, there was a desk covered in drawings and paintings of rides and buildings in Phantasma. But that wasn't all that was on the desk. There was also a framed picture of me, and a framed wedding portrait. I picked it up, and looked at the people who were in it. One was a beautiful woman in a wedding dress who resembled Erik very much. The man standing beside her was the groom, and he looked exactly like Erik, only without the deformity. He was so handsome….The more and more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was a picture of Erik's parents. But I had to be sure._

_"Erik?"_

_"Yes?" he didn't turn from his work as he answered me._

_"Are these your parents?"_

_This had caused him to turn. He placed down his screwdriver, and looked over his shoulder. He seemed angry that I had asked, but I couldn't help my curiosity._

_"Yes." he growled before turning back to his work._

_"You look exactly like your father."_

_"I highly doubt that, Christine. There's a huge difference between him and I, and the biggest one being that he was handsome….and I'm not."_

_"Is he still alive?"_

_I heard Erik slam something down on his workbench before turning to me._

_"No, he died before I was born. He would have loathed me just as much as my mother did."_

_"How did he die?"_

_"My mother told me that he died in tragic carpentry accident. He was a carpenter. Now put the picture down and stop asking so many questions."_

_I did as he asked, and put down the picture before wandering again. On the other side of the workshop, there was a phonograph being held up by a three-legged table._

_"You have a phonograph here too?"_

_"I found it in the garbage. It needed a new part and someone had thrown it out."_

_"And did you fix it?"_

_"Turn it on."_

_I did, only to hear the sweetest music erupt from it. It played as if it were brand new."_

_"Erik, it sounds wonderful."_

_When I looked over at Erik, I noticed that he was looking at his pocket watch and yawning._

_"It's getting late, Christine, we should get going, I grow tired."_

_"You wouldn't mind if I borrowed a book from the library would you?" I held up the book to show him, and he nodded._

_"Of course."_

_The night was cold and the wind blew right through the both of us. When we returned to the flat, I was so tired, that I went to bed while Erik stayed awake to work. I didn't like that he was staying up due to the condition he was in, but he promised he would come to bed as soon as he was ready. I had fallen into a dreamless slumber, only waking when I heard the grandfather clock chime in the early morning hour of five. As much as I didn't want to get out of bed, I had to because I had to visit the tailor. It had been nearly a week since I was last there, and the supplies for Erik's mask had to be there by now. After dressing, I walked out into the main room to see Erik hunched over his desk fast asleep. I rolled my eyes…Yea, sure you'll come to bed. One thing I was glad about was that his mask was laying on his desk and not on his face. Before leaving, I placed a blanket over his back, and quietly left the flat._

_It was snowing extremely hard, making it hard to see where I was headed. By the time I reached the tailor shop, my cloak was covered in snow and my hands were numb._

_"Ah, I was wondering when you would be returning."_

_I spun around to see Signore Angelo standing behind me._

_"Yes, I came back to see if the sheep's wool arrived?"_

_He nodded._

_"Yes, it arrived yesterday. Come with me and I'll get you started on it."_

_Signore Angelo led me back into a room with a few sewing machines and motioned me to sit down. He disappeared a few moments and came back carrying a sack full of the white fluffy sheep's wool he had ordered for me._

_"There is more than enough in this bag to cushion his mask with. If you need any help at all, let me know."_

_I thanked him, and took a handful of the soft material to start on Erik's mask. The material was so fluffy and I knew it would surely help Erik's sores. I lined the inside of his mask with the wool, and sewed it with the machine in front of me. I kept my patience, making sure that none of the leathery material would touch his face. When I was finished, Signore Angelo examined it just to make sure everything was ok before giving it back to me._

_"You did a perfect job. Would you like a box to put it in?"_

_I had wanted to give this to Erik as a Christmas gift, but knew he needed it right away. But I wanted to surprise him, and so I accepted the offer of a box, and placed the mask inside the sparkly green one Signore Angelo had given me. I even decorated it with a spare ribbon I had found laying on one of the work tables._

_"When should I come back to work for you?" I asked._

_"I actually have a few packages that need to be delivered. They'll be ready to go tomorrow afternoon if you wouldn't mind stopping by."_

_"Thank you, I'll be here by noon."_

_"You're quite welcome. I do hope that mask helps Mister E."_

_I looked down at my decorated box, and smiled._

_"Yes, I think it will."_

_When I left the tailor shop, I heard the Phantasma clock tower chime in the hour of eight. The sun was trying to shine through the thick snow that was falling, but it wasn't bright enough. On my way back to the flat, I heard Meg calling out my name from a second floor window. I looked up through the snow, and saw her waving for me to come to the door._

_"I'll be down in a minute." she told me before disappearing._

_I stood there in the doorway of a run down building who's bricks were decaying, and the curtains hanging in the window were torn. When Meg opened the door, she pulled me out of the snow and into her apartment. Right in front of the door there was a staircase, and on the other side there was a kitchen full of five other women in barely any clothing. They were sitting there smoking and drinking their morning coffee._

_Meg, who was also dressed in barely nothing, motioned me to follow her upstairs. The whole place smelled of cigarette smoke, and the wall paper was stained in yellow tobacco. Once up on the second floor, Meg led me past several rooms before entering the last room in the hall, the same one she had yelled out to me from. Her room was filled with posters of burlesque dancers and naked men. The sight appalled me, but what disgusted and surprised me even more was when I looked over at her bed and seen a naked man laying beneath the covers. He was a little older than Meg, with dark hair and a scruffy face._

_"Hey baby face, do you have a light?" he asked, rolling over in bed causing his chest to become exposed._

_Meg opened her golden cigarette case, and handed one to him._

_"You know, Christine, if you still need a place to stay, you're more than welcome to stay with me."_

_All I could think about in my mind was "Thank God for Erik." I would never be able to stay here. Not only did I hate cigarette smoke, but the thought of seeing both naked women and men walking around made me uncomfortable._

_"Um…Thank you Meg, but I'm quite comfortable with Erik."_

_Meg crawled in bed with the man, and kissed him as the smoke from his cigarette rose towards the ceiling._

_"Is that your boyfriend?" I uncomfortably asked._

_Meg laughed, and took a puff of the man's cigarette._

_"Something like that. This is Roberto, he knows the mayor."_

_I was becoming very uncomfortable. Meg's night dress was showing off her breasts, she was laying in bed with a strange man, and to top it all off, she was smoking._

_"What's that?" she pointed to the box I was holding._

_"It's a gift for Erik."_

_Meg smiled devilishly._

_"Oh my god, Christine, you slept with him didn't you?"_

_"No, no I did not, Meg."_

_Roberto blew out his smoke, and laughed._

_"Well, my little petit, you know what they say, if you don't use it you lose it. As far as I'm concerned, the ugly man has lost it long ago."_

_This angered me, but my blood boiled when Meg began to laugh._

_"That's not funny, Meg. I will not stand here and listen to you making fun of Erik. He has been nothing but kind to me."_

_"Oh, which reminds me…" Meg leaned over on her nightstand, and held up a letter. "My mother wrote me. Word in Paris is that your husband is searching all over for you. Have you not contacted him?"_

_I shook my head._

_"Well you should. It's the least you could do. You defiantly need to calm the beast before he breaks loose and sends his search over here."_

_"I have to be getting back now." I said._

_"I'll see you around…"_

_I was never happier to leave her apartment. It was filled with naked women, smoke and sex. When I arrived back at the flat, I opened the door to hear rummaging throughout Erik's bedroom._

_"Erik, I'm home."_

_I called out to him, but he didn't answer me._

_"Erik?"_

_I slowly walked into our bedroom to find him tearing his clothes out of his wardrobe and frantically pushing aside whatever was in his way._

_"Erik, what are you doing?"_

_"My mask!" he cried out. "Where is my mask! I swore I took it off and placed it by my side."_

_He wouldn't stop turning things over, he was a mad man. I never knew me taking his mask away would make him this crazy._

_"Erik, calm down."_

_"No! My mask is missing! I need to find it."_

_I held out my gift to him, and he only looked at it for the slightest of seconds before going back to rummaging through his room._

_"Erik, I brought you a gift."_

_"I need to find my mask! I can't go on without it! It's my shelter from the world!"_

_"Erik, just open my gift, and then I'll help you find your mask."_

_I knew he wouldn't calm down until I promised to help him._

_"No, help me find my mask now, and I'll open your gift later."_

_"Erik, please, open my present."_

_Erik ran his fingers through his hair, and pulled my gift into his hands. He tore the ribbon off the lid, and opened it. I waited for his reaction to change, but when he looked in the box and seen his mask, he only became livid._

_"Is this a joke!"_

_"What? Erik try it on…"_

_"Is this a joke! You think I'm mad! You think this is funny! You stole my mask!"_

_I backed up in fear, as he came forward with the box still in his hand._

_"Erik, please listen to me!"_

_But he didn't, he came walking towards me. I had to figure out a way to get him to put on the mask, and I knew the only way to get him to do so was to fear him. I looked back at his grotesque face, and purposely gasped before turning away. This worked. Yes, it upset him, but he reached into the box and placed on the mask. And it was then, the moment the mask made contact with his face that he stopped. I sighed in relief, and watched him remove the mask to have a look at the sheep's wool that was sewn into it. His fingers touched the soft material, and a smile formed across his face. He then placed it back on his deformity, and pressed it against his face._

_"Oh, Christine…" he closed his eyes, and cushioned the mask closer against his flesh. He had tears in his eyes, and he seemed so happy._

_"It feels so wonderful. God! It's so….oh, Christine."_

_"I made it for you, Erik."_

_Erik gasped, and fingered the mask._

_"You made this for me, Christine?"_

_I nodded._

_"I'm sorry I took your mask, Erik. But I had to, I had to do it in order to surprise you."_

_Erik enclosed the gap between us, and ran a slender finger down my cheek._

_"I forgive you….And I'm sorry, oh, Christine I am so sorry."_

_"I forgive you, Erik. It's ok."_

_"How? How did you find this material? I've worked for years trying to find something that would support my face like this."_

_"I talked to the tailor. He ordered sheep's wool and said I could sew it on."_

_"No one has ever done something like this for me. You'll never know how much this means to me. Just knowing that I'll never have to walk around with a sore face again…it makes me feel so wonderful."_

_"How does it feel against your sores?"_

_"Amazingly wonderful."_

_"I was going to give it to you for Christmas, but I know you needed it as soon as possible."_

_Once again, I felt Erik's finger slide down my cheek._

_"This is the best present anyone could have ever given me."_

_"I wish I could give you so much more."_

_Erik stood up straight, and nervously ran his fingers through his hair._

_"Christine, could I….could I thank you properly?"_

_I smiled, wondering what he meant._

_"Properly?" I giggled._

_He seemed so nervous, and I didn't know why._

_"Could I..could I…perhaps kiss you?"_

_This took me by surprise. I never thought he would have asked me that._

_"It's ok, Christine, you don't have to. I'm sorry for even asking."_

_But I wanted Erik to. Before he could even back away, I pressed against him, and let my lips crash against his. The last time we kissed, it had been chaste and nothing more. But the kiss we were sharing now was more meaningful, and filled with passion. It started off with our lips touching one another's, but turned into something I had never experienced in my entire life. Soon, our mouths opened and I began tasting his saliva against my own. But was this enough to satisfy my craving for him? No! I pushed my tongue past his malformed lips, and felt his own._

_He moaned. Oh, how he moaned at this wonderful feeling. My hands wandered over his chest feverishly as my lips became numb against his own. I needed his body, I wanted his body against my own. I unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, and ran my fingers over the exposed flesh._

_"Christine….oh, Christine…"_

_I don't know how it started, but our bodies began moving backwards, and we soon landed against our bed. I fell back against the mattress, and Erik's body fell on top of mine. We didn't care, and continued kissing. His lips began to nervously wander from my mouth to my neck and I groaned…oh, how I groaned for him._

_"Erik!…yes…yes..Erik…"_

_In all my years with Raoul, never did I ever call out his name. When his lips brushed against my flesh, it didn't feel amazing or wonderful at alll. His lips were like acid against my flesh, causing me to cringe in pain. Erik's lips on the other hand felt wonderful, and were soft as if he were kissing glass. He was slow, and gentle, leaving my neck aching for his touch._

_"Erik!" I was breathless, and gasping for air. But when I called his name out in orgasm, he softly called my name back._

_"Christine…oh, Christine…."_

_"Erik…"_

_"Say it again….say my name…How it runs ever so feverishly… against your beautiful lips…"_

_I arched my back and ached for his lips to keep kissing my flesh._

_"Erik…."_

_But he stopped. Erik had stopped kissing me. I opened my eyes, and concentrated on catching my breath._

_"Is something wrong?"_

_"We should stop." he kindly suggested. "We're moving too fast, Christine. And I fear if I don't stop now, I'll never be able to."_

_"Erik? Is everything alright?"_

_He nodded, and stood up from the bed._

_"I'm embarrassing myself. It's easy for me to get set off…what am I saying? I'm sorry, Christine. My virgin body…"_

_I knew what was happening to him, and so I stopped, and simply pressed a kiss to his lips._

_"It's fine, Erik. I'm glad you like your mask."_

_"I do."_

_I looked around his messy flat, and smiled._

_"Come on, Erik, let's clean this up…."_

_His cheeks turned red in embarrassment, and he nodded._

_"Thank you, Christine."_

_I had to write a letter to Raoul explaining to him about my wish to leave him for good….but at the moment, helping Erik seemed like a better idea._

* * *

**Ok everyone! Please review! Love you all! I'll try to have the next chapter up as soon as possible, but I can't promise anything because this week is gonna be a busy one with Halloween only a few days away. I'll try not to leave you all hanging for long. And like I said in previous chapters, if there is anything you really want to get in to this story, let me know!**


	18. Chapter 18

"_Through the mirror I have sought_

_The ugliness I know you thought_

_Your eyes and love can only bear_

_The handsomeness of Raoul_

_But for you I only scare._

_You cringe at my touch_

_And fear my embrace_

_My face which demons dare to chase_

_But in the mirror we both now stand _

_Staring into the future's land_

_And through the mirror I have sought_

_The hideous teasing life has brought."-_Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_I was in heaven! Christine not only made my sore face completely vanish, but she also kissed me….Passionately! The last time we had shared a kiss, it was chaste. Not that I didn't find it breathtaking, and it did satisfy my lifelong urge. I could have lived out the rest of my life with nothing but chaste kisses; really, I could have. I am a monster, and I always learned to keep myself satisfied with what ever heavenly things came my way. I knew years ago that no one was ever going to want to bed with me, which is why I have limited myself to….well, to releasing myself. Yes, I could bring myself pleasure, but I could never kiss myself, which is why I was simply happy with the chaste kiss I had received. Oh, but when Christine kissed me again….sparks flew! I felt everything; her tongue, her lips, I tasted her saliva against my own! But could we stop? No! We fell back against our bed, and I began kissing her neck. She called my name! god! She had called my name. I couldn't take it anymore….Once she called my name, I was lost, lost in ecstasy and I couldn't stop my body's hormones from causing me to get an erection. _

_I had to stop before I couldn't, and pulled away. She seemed upset over my actions, but it was for the best. But Christine knew what was happening to me, and switched the subject. We cleaned the flat, had dinner and laid with one another right before going to bed. I had been on my legs for far too long in the past couple of days and when I awoke, my body was feeling it. My legs were in agony, and I rolled over on my back, only to grasp the sheet in pain. From my thigh all the way down to my ankle throbbed in the worst pain since I had been beaten. The doctor had told me to stay in bed, but I never followed orders. Christine would help me! She always did. I reached over, expecting to touch her shoulder, but instead I felt empty blankets. Christine was gone…._

"_Christine?" I called out her name in agony, hoping she would come around the corner. But as the moments passed, nothing happened. Maybe she was in the kitchen…But I didn't hear the familiar bouncing around like I usually did._

"_Christine? Oh, God, Christine, I'm in agony….Are you out there?"_

_But I didn't get an answer this time either. It was then that I knew she had left the flat. How I hated when she was gone, but I knew she would return in time. I only hoped it was a short time because I needed her help. Why was I thinking like this? I had been on my own my whole life, never needing anyone's help….So why was I turning lazy all of a sudden? I threw my head back against my pillow, and opened my eyes. There, in Christine's empty spot was a small leather book with a piece of parchment sticking out of it. Curious, I lifted the book, and placed aside the paper that was sticking from it. When I opened the leather binding, it took me straight to a page in the middle of its thickness. This was no book from my library, this was handwritten, handwritten by Christine. I myself kept a journal from time to time….mostly to jot down my thoughts, usually the ones I couldn't tell Christine. If she ever dared to read it, I would be livid, and I wouldn't expect any less from her if I did the same with her diary. Then again, what Christine didn't know wouldn't hurt her right?_

_This was so wrong, but at the same time, it felt so right. I flipped over to the next page, and looked down at her beautiful handwriting and read the entry._

"_**Dear Diary, **_

_**I thought of him again. I cannot get my mind off of Erik. Back in Paris I had been able to get away from him, and let him leave my thoughts. The opera house had been big enough to disappear for a few hours. But now, I am living with him. He is there all the time, and these thoughts…..these thoughts have only been getting worse and worse. I know I shouldn't think about these things because I am married, but how can I not want to do it with him? The sex Raoul and I had was never good at all, and my body ached in agony for days after we would make love. But things with Erik could be different, right?"**_

_My heart stopped in my chest. Christine; my Christine thought about making love to me! How could she want something like that? My body was just as hideous as my face, if not worse. How could an angel want me? How I wanted to slam the book shut and pretend I never read such a thing, but I couldn't, I was hooked. Like a good book, I couldn't stop reading, and flipped right to the next entry._

"_**Diary,**_

_**Tonight I had a dream. I am writing it down as I remember it happening before I forget. It was such a wonderful dream, diary. Erik and I were dancing in the main room of his flat, I even remember the music being something he had written for me. I don't know why, but there was this gleam in his eye….like he was hypnotizing me. My hands wandered to his trousers, and soon we were back against his bed. We made love, diary! I remember every detail about it. He touched every part of my body before lovingly caressing my back and pulling my pelvic up against his own. He cared about hurting me so much, that he slowly entered me. Oh, diary, it felt wonderful. I was sad when I awoke….and right now, at this very moment, Erik is laying beside me asleep. I feel that I will not sleep another moment tonight…not after feeling that….but how I wish it were real…"**_

_At this point, all the blood in my body was rushing to my pajama trousers. Christine….Oh, she wanted something I had yearned for my entire life. In all the years I have been on earth, the closest thing to sex was reading books and erotic stories. Being a virgin never usually bothered me, but now….now it was driving me completely mad. Quickly, I slammed the book shut, and placed it aside. Not only were my legs pounding with pain, but now my manhood was throbbing with the need for Christine…or a release. Why must I torture myself! When my arm hit the side of Christine's mattress, I felt the piece of parchment I had pulled out of the diary. But being the curious man that I was, I couldn't just place it back into her diary without reading it…..now that I think about it, I really wish I would have, for it was a letter to Raoul…._

"_**My dearest Raoul,**_

_**Please do not worry about me. I am in a far away destination, one which has filled my empty heart with such joy. I have gotten word that you have been searching high and low for me. I know not writing you was a terrible thing to do, but it had to be this way. First, please know that I do love you, but not in the way a wife should. You were once my lover, one that I couldn't bear to be away from. You were the one who protected me from the Phantom of the Opera. But the opera is done and my choices are made. I thought being married to you would have been the best time of my life, but now, ten years later I am at my breaking point. You drink, you spend no time with me, and the worst of it all is that you beat me. A man should never raise a hand to a woman, especially his own wife. I have not existed to you for a while now, unless it was for your fist…I have met someone else, someone who needs me more than anything in the world. I may not love him, but he has given me a place to stay and that's what matters. **_

_**I wish you all the happiness the world could offer you. I will love you forever, but only in distance….**_

_**Christine."**_

_My heart crumbled as I read the last few lines of the letter. __**"I may not love him…"**_

_A great pain occurred in my chest, and I threw the letter aside. My heart was laughing at me, telling me about how much of a fool I was for letting my obsession for Christine rise once again. She didn't love me….She didn't love me! This phrase sang in my head over and over again. She didn't love me! Was she playing a game with me all along? Had she fixed my mask just so I wouldn't have to take it off ever again? Perhaps she was that cruel. I rose from my bed, not caring about the agony my legs were in, and stumbled into the bathroom. That line! Oh, that horrible line tore through my heart like a thousand knives. When I was reading her diary, my body was getting an erection, but after reading that letter, it immediately sucked the life and raging hormones from me. I tore away my mask, and looked into the only mirror I had inside my flat. I hated mirrors, and only kept one hanging on the bathroom wall just incase I needed to clean my wounds or look at myself before taking Christine out. But she didn't love me, so there was no reason to keep it any longer. I stared at my grotesque reflection cursing God for what he had done to me, and wishing I were dead. _

_My blood soon turned boiling red, and my fist smashed into the glass. I had only done this once in my life, and that was when I fist saw my reflection as a child. I didn't care about the pain my knuckle was in or the blood seeping from my flesh. No, all I cared about was that I was hideous, and Christine would never love me. The shards of glass fell into the sink, and I took a sharp end, and sliced it over the scars in my left wrist, slicing them open, hoping my vein had been cut. But was this enough? No! I couldn't let myself live! I sliced open my right wrist as well…. It was done! I was dizzy, and both my wrists were bleeding out tremendous amounts of blood. "Good," I thought. I'll be dead in no time….I can finally meet my maker, and burn in hell for all eternity unloved and lonely like always. _

_I grew weak and cold, laying there on the bathroom floor in puddles of my own blood. I wasn't dead yet, but I knew I soon would be._

"_Erik? Erik, I'm home!" came a happy voice._

_It was Christine! No, she couldn't see me like this! I had to die before she came walking in here. But I couldn't move, I was completely paralyzed. I knew I only had a little bit of life left in me, but I couldn't let her see me like this. _

"_Erik? Where are you?" her voice was happily teasing me, and I even heard her giggle. "Are you in the bathroom?"_

_I even saw her come around the corner with a smile on her face, but when she saw me laying there, her smile turned to horror. She rushed into the blood filled room, and scooped me into her arms. _

"_Erik! Erik, talk to me!"_

_I was freezing, and when I looked up into her face, I only saw a bright light. Soon, her voice had been drowned out with the sound of my heartbeat pounding against my ears. This had all happened before when I attempted suicide, but I always woke up…..I completely blacked out after that, and waited for the Devil himself to show up, but he never did….for I awoke. _

_My sight was blurry, and I could hear voices coming from the other room, but they seemed so far away. I remember the softness of my pillow caressing my unmarked cheek as my mask did the same for my deformity. _

"_Just watch him, and let me know if his condition changes." said a voice. _

_Was this a doctor's voice? I tried to move my head, but my body was drained of all energy, and I could feel a slight pinching sensation coming from my forearm. _

"_Make sure he drinks plenty of fluids. His body is going to need this to produce the blood cells he lost."_

_Yes, I was thirsty….never had I even been so thirsty, but I was so tired that I just blacked out again. When I awoke once more, I felt my legs propped up on pillows, and heard my phonograph playing a soft tune. I pressed my face into my pillow, and groaned in agony. _

"_Erik? Erik, can you hear me?"_

_It was Christine! Why was I still alive? Why was I still in this hell with the one person who hated me?_

_I opened my eyes to see her standing there at my bedside. She seemed exhausted, and upset over my actions, but I had a right….Oh, why couldn't I just die?_

_I let my head shift to the other side of my pillow so I didn't have to look at her, but the sight I saw on the night table was worse than looking at Christine. There on the night table was a jar of some sorts filled with blood, and a tube stretching from its lid all the way into my forearm….At least I finally knew where the pinching sensation was coming from. I arched my back, and yelped in pure excruciation before allowing my body to relax._

"_Don't worry, Erik. Accidents happen, and it was my fault. I shouldn't have gone out and left you here all alone. You fell against the mirror and almost died because of my neglect."_

_Damn! Christine thought this whole thing was a fall accident. She didn't know I had intentionally done this to myself, hoping I would die. _

_My throat was parched, and I couldn't speak. She held up a glass of water to my lips, and I drank it until the dryness in my throat had gone away. _

"_The doctor says you need plenty of liquids. Are you still thirsty? I could get you some juice this time?"_

_Even though my throat was still dry, I couldn't gather the strength to speak. Instead, I laid there as she stroked my hair. She didn't love me….that's all I had to keep telling myself. She was using me as shelter and nothing more. I was a complete fool for ever thinking she could love me, and like an idiot I fell for such beauty. Christine had to know I wanted to commit suicide. I couldn't just keep going on like this….I had cut myself, and for good reason; she didn't love me! I kept my gaze on the jar of blood that was dripping into my body, wondering where it had come from. _

"_We're one, Erik."_

_Her sweet voice has entered my ears, and I turned to face her. It pained me to do such a thing, but I did…I faced her. _

"_From now on, you'll always have a part of me running through your body. I gave you blood, Erik. The doctor said you would have died without it."_

_Christine wanted me to live! I looked at her arm to notice that she had a cotton ball placed over her vein. She had given me blood! The blood in the jar was hers, and it was dripping into my body! No…I couldn't act like this. Yes, it was such a beautiful thing having the blood of an angel entering my body, but I couldn't be happy! She didn't love me! She didn't love me! Than why did she donate blood to save me? Oh, the horror of such a thing! The horror of such confusion! _

_But I couldn't just lay here in silence while she sat there thinking this had been an accident. But first, I had to know why she had given me blood._

"_Ch…Christine?"_

_It hurt so much to talk, but it had to be done. She leaned in, and smiled, running a hand down my cheek._

"_Yes, Erik?"_

"_Wh…Why did you….give blood?"_

_The only words that would save me now was for her to tell me what I've always wanted to hear. If she said "Because I love you" I would surely die of pure happiness. God! What was I thinking? There I go again! Always wanting what I couldn't have!_

"_Because…"_

_God! She was going to say it!_

"_Because…Because I…."_

_Yes, yes, say it! Save my soul, Christine! _

"_Because it was the right thing to do."_

_The paperclips holding my broken heart together instantly shattered and I felt the other half of my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. "It was the right thing to do?" Right. Exactly why I thought killing my self was "the right thing to do" as well. Tears pushed to my eyes, and I laid there as they streamed down my cheeks._

"_Erik? Why are you crying?"_

_How I wanted to ask for the shard of glass to cut my wrists again. I was hurting, but from the inside. My heart had finally shattered into two pieces and ice was already beginning to freeze what ever kindness I had left within me. _

"_You think this was an accident?" I growled. "You really think I fell against the mirror and hurt myself?"_

"_What are you saying?" _

"_Are you stupid, Christine! Both of my wrists are cut on the vein and you think this was an accident? I did it, Christine! I shattered the mirror and cut my wrists on purpose!"_

_My throat was to a point where it was killing me, but I didn't want to stop! I was livid and completely mad! Christine had driven me past the point of no return!_

"_Why?…why do that to yourself?" she was crying, but I showed no emotion what so ever._

"_Because I wanted to die! I saw your letter to Raoul, Christine! You will never love me!"_

_Christine didn't say a word, and cried….but why? Why was she crying. _

"_I gave you a second chance, and this is what you do! You write to your lover and feed him a bunch of garbage about how you're living with me and cannot love me….Do you know what that's called, Christine? In America we call that someone a "No good Whore."_

"_I am not a whore, Erik! And yes, I am afraid to love you."_

_Now she was changing her words! She wouldn't admit to "May not loving me" but admitted that she was afraid to love me…_

"_Because of my face? Is that it? Is that why you made me this mask? So I wouldn't have to take it off ever again? So you could kiss me and look into the eyes of someone you wanted me to be?" I snapped at her like a poisonous snake._

"_Your face frightens me, Erik…..I feel for you within my heart, but when I look at your face, I feel nothing but fear."_

"_So in all these dreams and fantasies you've been having…am I wearing my mask? Am I fucking you with my mask on….Do you beg me while looking into this mask? Or is it my monstrous face?"_

"_How dare you! You read my diary!"_

"_You didn't answer my question!"_

"_And I will not!"_

_I tore away my mask, and looked at her, only to see her turn away in fear. _

"_Would you kiss me now?" I asked with a heavy heart. "Would you beg me to give you my body like this?"_

_Her eyes slowly turned towards my face, afraid to look._

"_Erik….I'm…."_

"_Christine, this is me…And no matter what you say, no matter what you do….This face will never disappear. I can hide it with a mask, but it will never go away. Oh, Christine…."_

_I was sobbing into my hands bandaged wrists now. Christine didn't love me, and she never would…..She loved a man I couldn't be…._

"_You will cause me no more pain." I growled. "I have given you your second chance, and all you did was cause me more pain. I know you will never love me, Christine, for you fear my face…"_

"_Erik…"_

"_No! listen to me! You will cause me no more pain, because you are leaving this place."_

"_No! Erik, please don't mqke me leave. I begged you last night!" she cried. "I begged you to never stop."_

"_Because I was wearing my mask! I'm not stupid, Christine."_

"_Then give me one more chance. I can never get used to your face, Erik, because you always hide it from me. Yes, it shocks me, but if you keep it off, I will come to find it natural."_

_She was on her knees begging me for my forgiveness, but there wasn't any to give. But why give her another chance? My heart couldn't take anymore, and I knew by letting her hurt me again, would only be the death of me….But that's what I wanted didn't I? death! That's all I ever wanted! But why give her a third chance? She had given me blood. If I couldn't spill my seed into her, at least she had spilled some of herself into me….Life! She had given me life, even though life was the last thing I wanted. _

"_Promise me that you will only wear your mask outside of the flat. Let me get to know you wholly, Erik, face and all….Let me get to love you."_

_She would never love me, and I knew every time she would look at me, it would only be in fear._

"_In time, I know I can overlook your face and love…"_

"_Do not give me false hope, Christine!" I barked. "For I do not love you…."_

_Ok, perhaps I lied on the last line, but I was angry….What else was I to say? "Oh yes, Christine, I do love you, and someday, I hope you look upon my hideous face and love it…" _

_Right…like that would ever happen. My own mother didn't even love me, so why was I to believe Christine ever would?_

"_I'll get you another drink." she kindly offered with a hint of fear in her voice._

"_No, I grow tired. Just leave me alone, Christine."_

_The blood dripping into my body was making me woozy, and I soon fell into a deep slumber, hoping that when I awoke, Christine would smile at my face, and make love to my aching body….but these were dreams and nothing more….Oh, God, give both Christine and I the strength to carry on and love one another….._

* * *

**Ok, there was some drama in this chapter, and I would like to thank JudgePhansexy and Phantom Night Rose for the awesome ideas…I know I promised for Erik not to get hurt and such, but sometimes I just can't help myself cause it keeps the story interesting. I promise the fluffy bunnies are coming soon….fluffy adorable bunnies…And by bunnies, I mean chapters… I know you're all waiting for Erik to strip down and make Christine his own, but waiting just makes the story more irresistible. Next chapter will have Raoul/Christine sex reference…Yuck! I know…Christine explaining about her naked fop…I'd leave him too…Ewww… Please review, and thanks again! **


	19. Chapter 19

"_Nothing in life is to be feared _

_It is only to be understood…."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_Erik had tried to kill himself! God! I had left the flat to work off my debt to Signore Angelo and do some Christmas shopping, only to return home and find Erik laying on the floor. I had thought it to be an accident, but when he awoke, he told me otherwise. It was all because of me! I had written to Raoul, and explained how I was staying with someone, but didn't exactly love him. In my heart, I did have feelings for Erik, but when I looked at his face, all I saw was fear. I was sure he was going to kick me out, but instead, he gave me one final chance….I wouldn't screw up this time, I couldn't afford it. _

_He is sleeping now, and I am preparing lunch. I turned off the phonograph I had turned on earlier, and stood there in the kitchen listening to him breathe. Both of his wrists had been bandaged, and the doctor I called had taken blood from me to give to him. He said it would make him extremely tired, and for the next few days he would be weak with exhaustion from the massive blood loss. I knew Erik had attempted suicide before, but he said it was fifteen years ago, way before he met me….But now, I had been the cause of his newest attempt. After making him a jelly sandwich and pouring him a glass of milk, I entered his room to find him staring at the jar of blood that was slowly dripping into his arm. I shuddered at the sight of his monstrosity of a face, but I had to be strong…._

"_Erik, I brought you lunch. The doctor told me to make sure you eat. You need to build your strength up."_

_He didn't say a word, and tried to lift his hand, but couldn't. The massive blood loss had indeed made him weak. As much as his face scared me, I took half of the sandwich and held it up against his bloated lips._

"_Come now, Erik, eat something."_

_His jaw opened slowly, and bit down on a piece of the sandwich. I stood there watching him chew before holding the glass of milk up to his lips. When I tried to feed him some more of the sandwich, he simply turned his face away. _

"_Erik, you need to eat."_

"_I…I don't feel well."_

_With that, he blacked out again. I knew until the blood got back into his system, he was going to be very weak. I myself was running on empty. Not only had I been running around in the cold weather, but I was also coming down with a slight cold. At the moment it was just a light cough every once in a while, so I didn't worry. By staying inside for the next few days would surely cure me of my illness. While Erik slept, I washed our clothes, and hung them over the fire to dry. Afterwards, I pulled out the gift I had bought him. I had run errands for Signore Angelo to pay off my debt, but when I returned, he paid me for my time. I didn't want to accept the money, but he insisted I take it. With some of that money, I had gone Christmas shopping, buying Erik a new pocket watch, one that I was able to get his name inscribed into. That was going to be the most expensive gift, but I also had plans to do something with the models I had stolen from Erik's work shop. I wanted to do something special with them, but hadn't had any ideas yet…Christmas was still two weeks away, and so, I still had time. _

"_Christine?" I heard my name being called from the bed room, and looked up. "Christine, could you come in here?"_

_Erik sounded like he was in a lot of pain, and so I put away his present before answering his call. I walked into our bedroom, to find him laying on his back with the covers laying on the floor. _

"_What is it, Erik?" I softly asked._

"_Could you get the blankets for me, please? They must have fallen off when I was sleeping."_

_I simply nodded, and kept my gaze towards the floor as I walked around our bed collecting the blankets that were scattered about. When he was covered again, I took a seat where his legs were propped up on pillows and began massaging them. _

"_Just what I need." he cooed, pressing his distortion into the pillow._

_I giggled, and it rattled a cough in my throat. I saw Erik's eyes peer to mine in one fast motion._

"_Are you getting sick?" he asked._

"_I don't know." I lied. "I feel fine."_

"_That cough doesn't sound too promising. Christine, you must tell me if you don't feel well. People on Coney get sick in the winter, and the illness over here causes death. Believe me, I wasn't so lucky the past few years. I caught consumption just last winter."_

_This scared me, but I didn't feel sick at all. _

"_I feel fine, Erik."_

"_If that cough gets any worse, promise me you'll tell me."_

"_I promise."_

_I didn't know Erik was ill last winter. My poor Erik had caught consumption, and hadn't died._

"_How is it that you lived?"_

"_I almost didn't. My lungs were so sore, I was sure they were going to explode. I whipped up some medicine and spent three weeks in bed hardly being able to breathe."_

_I didn't want to tire Erik out, and so I decided to sit there in silence for a while as I continued to massage his legs. _

"_Would you tell me something, Christine?"_

_His voice was weak and sore, but he was still talking. My hands paused on his ankles, and glared at his handsome face that was laying on top of the pillow._

"_What is it that you wish to know?"_

"_Was there not one time in your whole marriage with Raoul that you enjoyed making love?"_

_I looked down at the scars on Erik's legs, thinking about what to say. No, there hadn't been a time when I enjoyed it….In all of our ten years together, we had only made love six times, and each and every time was worse than the last._

"_No. It was horrible….but could I ask you something?"_

_His beautiful eye looked my way, granting me permission._

"_Is making love supposed to be unpleasant? I mean, back in Paris, the ballerinas used to go on and on about how wonderful it was."_

"_You're asking the wrong person, Christine. But from all the stories I've read, I don't believe it's supposed to be unpleasant at all."_

_I crawled up to his chest, and laid beside him, pressing a kiss to his neck. When he felt this, he turned to me, exposing the malformed side of his face. My stomach cringed, and I wanted to close my eyes, but I knew that would only hurt him. _

"_I'm scaring you, aren't I?"_

_I shook my head, and looked down at his shirt._

"_Please don't think that I hate you, Erik. I need time."_

_Erik placed his hand on my cheek, and had tears sliding down his own. _

"_You're looking at me now." he sobbed. "Oh, Christine, look at me…"_

_I did. I looked up from his shirt, and into those mismatched eyes. He looked handsome with his mask on, but this was him! This was Erik. He was no different with the mask on or off. Erik was still Erik no matter what. I fell in love with his heart, and that's what mattered._

"_What I wrote in my diary was true, Erik. I really do dream of making love to you."_

_I don't know why, but for some reason, I couldn't hold back what I felt for him any longer. Yes, his face did bring me fear, but this was Erik! This was a man I knew I could learn to love. My mouth found his neck, and began sucking at his flesh. A gasp escaped from his lips, and his hands clasped around my back. _

"_Christine….Oh, Christine."_

_I moved my lips from his neck, up to his lips, and began passionately kissing him. My tongue twisted with his own, and I moaned. If there was anything that felt amazing, it was Erik's tongue touching my own. His tongue was cold and his saliva was like ice. My own mouth was warm and my saliva hot…But when cold met with hot, it created fireworks. I couldn't get enough of him….My lips went from his mouth to his earlobe, from his earlobe back down to his neck._

_Erik was calling my name, and pleading for me to never stop. I didn't…I didn't want to stop. As long as I stayed away from his disfigurement, my fear stayed away. As I lay atop of him, I began to feel his trousers rising. This was the same feeling I used to feel when I would kiss Raoul. I was waiting for Erik to push me away, but he didn't let me stop. Instead, he flipped me over on my back, and began kissing my neck. His breathing was labored, and I could tell he was pushing past the pain in his legs just to be able to do this._

"_Oh, Christine…" he gasped in between kisses. "I may be a virgin….but I could pleasure you in ways no body else could."_

_His hands were wandering down to my waist, and all I wanted was to beg him…I wanted to beg this man to make love to me._

"_Yes, Erik….don't stop."_

"_I could make you feel so good…"_

"_Yes…"_

_I wanted him to tear my dress away, I wanted him to make love to me, to show me that sex was real, and it did feel good. But as his lips were kissing my neck, I felt the his deformity touch my own flesh. I hadn't meant to gasp, but I did. I couldn't lie and say that its cold and clammy surface didn't make me cringe, because it did….I wasn't entirely grossed out, but I was indeed disgusted. I was going to ignore it, but Erik pulled away and became extremely angry. He rolled over on his back, and pounded the mattress with his fist._

"_Go!"_

_I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn't listen to me._

"_I disgust you! I make you feel disgusting! Oh, Christine!…."_

"_Erik, please, listen to me."_

"_I said go! Leave me alone! Go!"_

_How could I be so stupid! How could I do such a horrible thing to him? He was finally trusting me, and then I go and do something like that. Things were different between the both of us after that. After that afternoon, Erik wouldn't speak to me. For days, he laid there in bed sleeping, and when I would make him meals, he wouldn't say a word. I knew he was truly angry, because he forced me to move my bed back across the room. Yes, things had indeed changed between the both of us. My illness had gone away as quickly as it came, but Erik's anger lingered like a disease. It had been almost a week since his suicide attempt, and he had yet to speak a single word to me. For a while, I decided to let him overcome his anger and waited for him to speak, but he never did. He slept for the most part of the week, only waking to eat, but even while he ate, he didn't speak to me. And when I would try to strike up a conversation, he would only look at me with his mismatched eyes._

_It was after a week of silence that I knew I couldn't take it anymore. As I laid there in bed one night, I decided that tomorrow was going to be the day to get him out of this funk. I know what I had done was wrong, but I wanted everything to be back to normal, I wanted us to be back to our old selves. I missed everything about Erik, his smile, his laugh, his kisses….Yes, his face was still scary to look upon, but I was slowly getting used to it. But I knew there was only one way I was going to gain his forgiveness, and I wasn't sure if my body was ready for it yet, but what choice did I have? _

_I didn't sleep much that night, not much at all. It had snowed again, leaving the windows fogged and covered in fluffy, white snow. The flat was a bit chilly, and I threw on my robe before getting up to make breakfast. To my surprise, Erik was already out of bed. This had been the first time since his incident that I had seen him up and about. He was sitting at the kitchen table, looking over some documents with his bandaged wrists resting on the tabletop. I took a deep breath, and walked right past him to the counter to boil some water._

"_You're up early this morning." I cheerfully stated, turning to place the water filled pot on the stove. Like always, he didn't answer me, and continued looking over his work. _

"_I'll make you some tea if you'd like."_

_Still, Erik didn't even acknowledge that I was there. _

"_Are your wrists feeling better?"_

_I was being driven completely mad! Why wouldn't he speak to me? Why was he shunning me like this? Yes, what I did was wrong, but I was sorry. This wasn't working…none of it was. I then switched to plan B….I slowly approached him from behind, and reached out a trembling hand….. I was afraid to do this, but it had to be done! I closed my eyes, and placed my hand over his deformity. His flesh felt like sandpaper beneath my palm…cold sandpaper. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. As my hand lingered there, I heard him gasp, and he turned to face me. _

"_Forgive me…" I pleaded. "I was a jerk for doing what I did. It's not that bad, really…"_

_The longer my hand lingered on his distortion, the less and less I wanted to pull away. Yes, it was a strange feeling, but it wasn't so terrible once you were used to it. _

"_Y…You're not disgusted?"_

_By looking into it, yes, I was still grossed out, but by feeling it? No, it wasn't bad at all, and I was a fool for jerking away from his kiss a week ago. _

_His hand placed itself over the one that was touching his deformity, pressing my hand closer to it. _

"_What does it feel like?"_

"_Cold sandpaper."_

_Erik gently pried my hand away from his face, and placed his mask back on. He had promised me to keep his mask off while in the flat…why was he putting it back on?_

"_Have I offended you?"_

"_Not at all. It is a foolish thing to think that you will ever love me without the mask. Forgive me, Christine, I will not haunt you with it any longer. If you can only smile while I am wearing the mask, then Erik will be content with just that."_

"_Erik, please don't."_

_He stood from his seat, and placed both hands on my waist. _

"_You love the mask, don't you?"_

_I was speechless, I didn't know what to say. Erik only smiled when I smiled, and I only smiled when Erik was wearing his mask. When Erik wore his mask, he brought me such joy, such love…Yes, as much as I hated it, I did love the mask and feared the man. I lowered my head, ashamed at what I was about to say. Erik on the other hand felt no regret, and lifted my chin to meet his masked face. _

"_Tell me the truth, Christine. I'd be happy with just knowing that. No one has ever loved the mask, not even my own mother. If it is a mask you love, then it shall be a mask you get. What ever your heart desires will be just fine with me. I ache for love, for someone to love me, but if it is a mask you love, then at least part of myself is getting some sort of attention."_

_And slowly, I nodded. Erik's gaze met with the floor, but only for a few moments, for he collected himself, and took a deep agonizing breath._

"_I see. But please tell me the truth, Christine. Tell me that when I wear this mask, you feel no fear towards me."_

"_I feel no fear." I truthfully repeated._

"_And when I wear this mask, you smile because you want to smile?"_

_Once more I nodded. "Yes, Erik, I smile because I want to smile."_

"_If…If a mask will keep you happy, then I won't remove it any longer."_

_As much as Erik told me this wouldn't bother him, I knew it had shattered his heart again. Yes, I loved the mask, but that wasn't the whole truth. He had begun walking towards the bedroom, when I called out to him._

"_Yes, I may love the mask, but I would like to get to know the man behind it as well. Maybe not as quickly as I had wished for, but it's something I would like to do."_

_Erik stood there with his back facing me. _

"_So be it." he growled._

"_And I would like it if we spent some time together."_

_Erik turned, and stood there nervously rubbing his hands back and forth._

"_Wh…what did you have in mind?"_

"_Dinner?"_

_He nodded, and turned to enter the bedroom._

"_I'll be there."_

_Tonight was going to be perfect! Tonight I was going to repair our friendship. Shopping needed to be done, and I strolled into town while Erik rested in bed. I bought pork, a jar of kraut, carrots, and a bottle of wine. I wanted everything to be perfect, and it would be. I stayed away from Erik for the remainder of the day. He seemed tired, and so I only checked in on him every once in a while to make sure he was still breathing. He had his legs propped up on pillows, and a soft snoring sound was coming from his mouth. I never heart him snore before….he must have been really tired. Maybe his nightmares had come back because we were no longer sleeping beside each other. When Raoul snored, it was the most annoying sound, one which usually caused me to move out to the couch, but Erik's snoring was soft and beautiful. It was a sound I didn't mind at all, a sound I would want to stay awake and listen to like a beautiful symphony. _

_I stood there in the doorway for the longest of time, listening to him sleep. If anything was true about Erik, it was that he was music itself. Every sound that escaped his lips was one filled with beauty. When he called my name, it was beautiful, when he begged and gasped during our kisses, that was also beautiful, and even when he snored, the sound was one I wanted to hear for the remainder of my life. _

_I stood there until I smelled the pork burning, and ran out to the kitchen to check on it. Erik had slept mostly the entire day, and was still sleeping when I was setting the table. When the table was set, I took out the bottle of wine and began twisting the cork off. I was never really great at removing wine corks to begin with, and always wound up breaking it, or handing off the bottle to Raoul. But tonight, I had gotten the cork to come out, only making a mess of myself in the process. When the cork came out, so did a splash of wine. It came out so fast, that the front of my white blouse turned red. _

"_Curse this wine!" I mumbled, slamming the bottle of wine down on the table. The kitchen was lit with nothing but candlelight, with me standing there unbuttoning my stained blouse. When it was off, I stood there in my corset, placing the food on the table before worrying about getting a new blouse from the wardrobe. _

"_Is everything alright? I heard a smash and…."_

_I turned around to see Erik standing there in the doorway. He couldn't even finish his sentence because he had gotten sight of my half naked corseted body. I never seen such a look on his face. He was staring at me as if he were staring at an angel….But when he finally realized how inappropriate it was, he shielded his eyes with his hand, and turned away as I stormed past him._

"_God, forgive me, Christine."_

"_No, it's perfectly fine." I began rummaging through the wardrobe closet to find a new blouse. "I spilled some wine on my blouse. Clumsy me…."_

_The room had grown silent, and I felt two cold hands place themselves over my shoulders. I shivered, and froze in place, knowing it was Erik who was standing behind me. _

"_You are beautiful, Christine." His voice was soft, and hypnotizing against my ear. But did it stop there? Of course not…I now felt his fingers sliding down the back of my corset._

"_Oh, Christine, you do know how much I despise these contraptions. They're not good for your lungs…."_

"_It's proper back in Paris to wear one…" I shuddered._

_I felt his chest up against my back now….and his lips almost touching my ear. His cold breath heaving down my neck._

"_But you're not in Paris, Christine."_

_I felt his fingers undoing the laces in my corset, something that sent erotic shivers down my spine….Raoul never did this to me before. He never undressed me, he would only undress himself and lay naked on our bed and wait for me to do the same. When my back was undone, I felt the chilly air and Erik's lips against my flesh. He was kissing my back, as he undid every lace, groaning as he did so. The sensation was driving me wild, and I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to be able to take his teasing. _

"_You have the softest skin, Christine." he cooed, placing another kiss to my shoulder blade. "Forgive me for wanting to taste you."_

_I closed my eyes, and arched my back against his touch._

"_I will not forgive you." I gasped. "For there is nothing to forgive you for. Oh, Erik, don't stop, please don't ever stop."_

"_Oh, Christine, just touching you is a sin…."_

"_It can't be a sin…" his lips were now over my shoulders. "It's too heavenly to be a sin."_

"_Just tell me to stop and I will…Tell me to stop, Christine."_

_I turned to him, and placed a soft kiss to his lips. _

"_Never." I murmured._

"_Christine, do you feel the fire within yourself? Is it burning as much as it is in me?"_

_Erik placed my hand over his neck, and I felt heat….Erik's skin was never hot, it was always deathly cold. Had I done this to him?_

"_Yes, Erik I do….But the question is when will the flames at last consume us?"_

_Erik sighed orgasmically, before placing his lips to my ear. _

"_Whenever you're ready to be consumed."_

_My heart was floating in thin air. How badly I wanted to be consumed now, but something was stopping me, and that was time. Dinner was going to get cold, and I wanted to get to know Erik a while before we jumped into something so serious. But if there was anything I couldn't wait for, it was the day Erik's body and soul would consume me fully and feel something wonderful at last…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, I hope this was extra fluffy for you. Next chapter will be extra fun…Please review, oh, and I had the scene in my head that will soon come…eventually, but I'm taking suggestions (Non Disgusting) on how Christine and Erik should come together as one….I want it to be all super fluffy and stuff…Won't be happening for a few more chapters, but I'm giving the best and most super fluffy sex idea a one way ticket into my story. Oh, and I'm giving you the choice of it either being in Erik's POV or Christine's POV…PM me, don't put it into a review…I want it to be a surprise….Thanks guys! Love you all! **


	20. Chapter 20

"_Cloaked under the night_

_With nothing to suppress_

_A woman and a man _

_No more and yet no less"- _Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_I sat there at dinner with Christine in silence. Just moments before, she had given me a sight I had never seen before. I had been laying in bed right up until I heard a loud bang come from the kitchen. When I got to the doorway, Christine was standing there in her corset. I gasped at such a sight…Never in all my life had I ever seen something so beautiful. She rushed past me and began rummaging through the wardrobe closet as I stood there watching her. I hated corsets more than anything in the world because of what they did to one's lungs. But I didn't back away, I approached her from behind, and pressed my lips up against her shoulders. How I wanted to consume her, body and soul. Her milky shoulders and back were driving me mad…I couldn't get enough of her…_

_We sat there at dinner, eating in silence. I wasn't exactly eating…mostly picking around tiny morsels with my fork. Sometimes I don't even know why I agree to having dinner with her. She spends all day cooking just for me to eat two mouthfuls. _

"_How is your dinner?" I asked._

_Christine looked up, chewing a piece of the pork she had placed into her mouth. _

"_Very good." she wiped her mouth with her napkin. "I hope you're enjoying yours."_

"_I always do. I just wish I could eat more."_

"_You're underweight." She placed her hand over my own, and my eyes met with hers. "I worry about you sometimes."_

"_You shouldn't worry about me, Christine. I've been this way since I was a child."_

"_But you're safe, Erik. Nothing bad is ever going to happen to you again, so why does your nervous stomach stick around?"_

_I placed my silverware on my plate, and gently pushed it away._

"_It's not my past that keeps my stomach weak, it's everything, Christine. It's the worry of being taunted when out around Phantasma, it's the worry of being beaten, it's the worry of you hurting me….Everything keeps my stomach the way it is."_

_Already I knew I had eaten too much, for within seconds, I grasped my aching stomach, and stumbled to the bathroom. How I hated throwing up, but I couldn't help myself. When my stomach finally felt better, I lifted my head out of the toilet, and grasped the sink, only to spot Christine standing in the doorway. _

"_Could I perhaps have some privacy?" I growled. _

_This had scared Christine, for she left me alone. I turned on the sink, and washed out my mouth before reached for my towel that was hanging over the tub. Why couldn't I be like a normal person? Why couldn't I eat without spitting it up like a newborn? I pounded my fist into the wall in anger before walking back out to the main room to take a seat at my piano. I had thought I scared Christine, but that wasn't the case. She brought me out a glass of water, and held it to my lips._

"_Here, Erik, this will make you feel better."_

_I thanked her, and slowly drank the cool water as I watched her clean up from dinner. _

"_Do you need any help?" I asked._

"_No, just sit there and rest."_

_I felt terrible for just sitting there and letting her do all the work, but what was I to do? First she cooks all day for me only to have me throw it up, and now she's cleaning too? Curse my wretched body! _

"_Play for me, Erik?"_

_I turned to find Christine standing behind me. I turned back to my piano, and smiled._

"_Any requests?"_

"_Past the Point of No Return."_

_When I heard her say this, my blood had run cold. It had been so long….and that night..so many memories._

"_I don't know…"_

"_Please, Erik…"_

_How could I ever say no to her? I pounded on the keys of my piano, and sighed._

"_Ok…."_

"_Then you'll be needing your mask."_

_From out of nowhere, Christine whipped out my Don Juan mask and handed it to me._

"_Found it in the closet." she giggled. _

_I pushed it aside, and looked down at my keys._

"_No thanks."_

"_But if you're going to play it, you need to look like Don Juan."_

_I knew she wasn't going to let me rest until I placed on the mask, so I turned away from her, and placed it on before turning back to the keys. I sat there playing the first verse of the song as Christine stood beside me. But once the first verse was over, I heard her begin to sing…_

"_**You have brought me to that moment where words run dry**_

_**To that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence**_

_**I have come here hardly knowing the reason why**_

_**In my mind I've already imagined our bodies **_

_**Entwining defenseless and silent and now I am here with you**_

_**No second thoughts, I've decided…decided…"**_

_She was running her hands up and down the sides of my arms and shoulders. I had a hard time playing the piano because she was seducing me with her touch. _

"_**Past the point of no return….."**_

_It was then that she sat in my lap and wrapped her legs around me. Her hands were running up and down my chest, as her lips met with my neck….God, but I continued playing._

"_**No going back now**_

_**Our passion play has now at last begun**_

_**Past all thought of right or wrong, one final question**_

_**How long should we two wait before we're one?"**_

_She was singing so passionately as her lips were gently sucking at my neck. _

"_**When will the blood begin to race?"**_

_It was then that Christine groped me through the trousers, causing blood to rush straight to them. Her hand lingered as she kissed me neck again._

"_**When will the bud burst into bloom? **_

_**When will the flames at last consume us?"**_

_It was then that I pulled away from her kiss to sing the last verse together._

"_**Past the point of no return**_

_**The final threshold**_

_**The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn**_

_**We've passed the point of no return…"**_

_At the last line, Christine and I began passionately kissing, and in the mitts of it all, I lifted her up on top of the piano as her legs were still wrapped around me. I pressed my lips to her ear, and began softly singing…_

"_**Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime**_

_**Lead me, save me from my solitude**_

_**Say you'll want me with you here beside you….**_

_**Anywhere you go let me go too, Christine, that's all I ask of you…."**_

_We broke away, and I looked down at her. _

"_You can have your book back, Erik." she said. "The one I borrowed from the library."_

_So much for my try at being passionate…._

"_Are you finished with it already?"_

"_No, I was half way through it and stopped."_

"_Why?"_

"_It was horrible, Erik. It was about this boy who was taken hostage by gypsies and beaten. Every chapter was filled with abuse beyond belief. I stopped reading at chapter ten…Oh, Erik it was horrible."_

_I held her close to my chest, and rubbed her back sympathetically. That's what she would have done to me…._

"_You shouldn't read such things, Christine. Your mind is pure, and should never be filled with such filth."_

"_Is that what happened to you, Erik?" Christine asked. "Is that what the gypsies did to you?"_

_I cringed, and thought about the story Christine had read. No, the abuse I had experienced was much worse than the abuse the character experienced in the book. _

"_I don't want to talk about it, Christine. I've experienced much worse than the character in the book."_

_She pressed a kiss to the side of my neck, and I looked down at her. _

"_Show me….Show me what they did to you."_

_My breath caught in my throat. Christine wanted to see what the gypsies had done to my body…How could I ever show her such a horrific sight?_

"_You don't need to see." I assured. "You need to keep your mind filled with happy thoughts, Christine, not nightmares."_

"_But it's you, Erik."_

_I stood up from my bench, and turned towards the roaring fire. _

"_You must understand that my body is even more horrendous than my face. I will not have you fearing my body as well, Christine."_

_But Christine didn't care. She swept over to me, and stood in front of my body, her white blouse turning red from the shadow of the flames behind her. Her hands wandered up to the top of my shirt, unbuttoning the first few buttons. I grabbed her hands, begging her not to do this, but she wouldn't listen. Button after button, her hands would pry away a little more of my shirt. I was a man! A strong one if that! I should have stopped her, but I never had a woman doing this to me before. Why couldn't I just stop her?_

_When my shirt was completely undone, she slipped the top of it off my shoulders, letting its remains hang loosely from my arms. The light from the fire lit up my scarred chest, scars that started at my shoulders and ended at the lining of my trousers, scars that crisscrossed in every direction, reaching all the way to my back and never ending. My body was like a maze, one with no escape…The path of one scar would only lead to the next….._

"_Erik…." _

_Christine stood there in front of me, examining what the gypsies had done to my body. I had been stabbed numerous times, whipped more times than the amount of people living in the world, and raped. Yes, I had recovered from the whippings and stabbings, but my bottom still ached me every day of the week. _

"_What have they done to you?" her voice was filled with such shock, and I wasn't sure if it was for me or from the fear of my body. _

"_Horrible things."_

_I had expected Christine to be disgusted by my body, but she wasn't…not one bit was she disgusted. Her hands soon reached up, and began tracing the scars all along my chest. I sighed orgasmically, and closed my eyes. Her touch was sending shivers through my spine, soft, yet erotic shivers that ended up in my trousers. _

"_What happened here?" I felt her hand stop at a long scar the stretched across my left nipple, and was cut off by my trousers. But beneath my trousers, the scar continued and wrapped around my inner thigh._

"_I…I was cut with a jagged blade for hiding my face from paying customers." I shuddered, remembering my master's anger and the pain I had received from such an injury. _

"_Oh, Erik…." _

_I opened my eyes to make sure I wasn't scaring her, only to see tears streaming down her cheeks._

"_Christine, what's wrong?"_

"_How could someone do that to you?"_

_I lifted a trembling hand to her cheek, and wiped away the tears._

"_Don't cry, Christine. The past is in the past….."_

"_And yet, I was never there for you. Forgive me, Erik, please forgive me for never being there for you. Back in Paris I acted like a complete selfish fool. You gave me the world, and yet, I never gave anything back to you. If only I had known about the gypsies and the scars….God, forgive me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, Erik…"_

"_Stop." I calmly told her. "Just stop, Christine. This was not your fault. You couldn't have known."_

"_Because I never asked."_

"_It's alright, Christine."_

_I softly pressed a kiss to her lips, and tucked a strand of brown hair behind her ear._

"_Erik?" _

"_Yes, Christine?"_

_She never answered me, only took my hand and led me into our bedroom. Once there, the world around us fell away, leaving just the both of us standing before one another. I wasn't sure what was going to happen now, but when Christine passionately kissed me, my whole body melted. She laid me down on my mattress, only to crawl on top of me. My whole entire body shivered beneath her touch, and her lips met with my neck. My heart was racing a mile a minute as my fists grasped the sheets. Her kisses started at my neck, and trailed down to my chest, over my beating heart, and to my nipple. The same one that had the scar stretching across it. _

_Once her lips had indulged it fully, I found myself no longer capable of holding back my groans. She was tasting my scar! God! She was tasting the lumpy scar and lingering. _

"_Christine….yes,….yes…"_

_I closed my eyes, and let the wonderful feeling take over my aching body. This was all I had ever wanted, all I had ever dreamed of. She could have stopped right now and I would have been satisfied with just that, but she didn't stop! Her lips moved from my nipple, all the way down the scar that was cut off by my trousers. Feeling her lips all over my chest was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt. But I was already past the point of no return. Blood was rushing like lightning to my trousers, giving me the rush I had so longed for. Up and down, up and down…her lips traveled over every scar and patch of marred flesh I had on my body. _

_I pressed my eyes shut, and continued to sigh as her lips continued to consume my body. But when I opened my eyes again, something was different…..Christine was still leaning over me, kissing away at my chest, but her blouse was unbuttoned, and her breasts…..I turned away, and pressed my face into the pillow. I wouldn't…I couldn't…..I was the devil's child, I didn't deserve to see such beauty. _

"_Erik, is something wrong?"_

_I no longer felt her lips against my flesh, but she was still here, and I wouldn't turn….No! I wouldn't turn and see such beauty. _

"_You shouldn't expose yourself to me in such a way." my body was trembling, and my erection was only getting worse. _

"_Have you never seen a woman's bare chest before?"_

_I swallowed hard._

"_In books…." was all I could get out._

_I felt her take my hand within her own, and raise it. It was then that I turned my head, only to look back at her moving my hand towards her open blouse._

"_Haven't you ever felt a woman before?"_

_My heart was racing so fast, that I could feel it hitting the flesh of my chest. I couldn't answer her. My throat had run dry, leaving me speechless. _

"_I'll take that as a no."_

_And just like that, a new sensation filled my body. I was touching her! Her hand pressed my own up against her breast. It was soft and warm against my touch. In all my years on earth, I had touched many things. I have touched the softest fur of animals, the rough edges of a whip, even my own manhood, but never….god, never nothing this….this magnificent feeling. My heart was about to explode in my chest, but I didn't care. Upon my touch, she even jerked her head back, and groaned. But one hand wasn't enough…no, it was far from enough. I lifted my free trembling hand, and pressed it opposite from the one I was currently touching. _

"_Erik….." she called my name ever so softly, and begged me to never let go. I was so shy, so afraid and so shy. I was afraid to move my hands to her waist, shy to touch her anywhere else then where I was touching now. She was kissing me again….God, she was kissing me as my fingers embraced her breasts. This was so new to me, so new and wonderful….And as this new feeling tore through me, I found it harder and harder to control myself. I was now on her, kissing her ear, and running my boney hands down her milky shoulders. She was calling my name out like a hungry lioness stalking its prey. But having my name being called by her was only making my body ache for more. I ran my kisses down to her neck, and then her collarbone, right before letting my lips taste the top of her chest. _

"_Lower….Oh, Erik, lower…"_

_Yes, how I wanted to, but the question was "could I?" I was so shy….I didn't want to disgust her in any way and keep the tender moment alive. But she was begging me…she was begging me and I couldn't stop myself. Had she ever begged Raoul like this? Had Raoul ever brought her such pleasure? I pressed harder against her chest, causing my flesh to meet with hers…and oh, what a feeling it was. The only thing my chest ever crashed up against was the ground right before getting beat up. But flesh against flesh….oh, how wonderful it was. I could feel our hearts touching as they beat rapidly inside each of us, her breasts cushioning my own chest…..Pure heaven!_

_Her hands caressed my back, as my lips worked on her chest and neck. Her fingers tracing my scars over and over again as my kisses became more primal. I would have done this all night to her, but now it was my turn again. She gently flipped me back over, and began straddling me. In books I have read of this over and over again, but never thought in a million years that I would be experiencing this for myself. I arched my back against the mattress, and deeply sighed again and again. I no longer cared if I was to live life as a virgin, having all of this was worth giving it up. _

"_Christine….Christine…."_

_I wanted to call her name for the remainder of the night. In my mind, I pictured her naked, making love to me as the feeling of her straddling my lap continued. But soon, a new sensation began….It was my leg braces being removed. I opened my eyes, and there was Christine, taking them off, and laying them on the floor. I lay there heaving and trying to catch my breath, wondering what she was up to now, that's when her hands made contact with the lining of my trousers. _

"_Christine?" I was being serious now. As much as I wanted this, I couldn't imagine the horror that would play out among her face if she saw me completely naked. Damn you, Erik, it's not even proper! You can't! _

"_Erik, I've never called anyone's name like I did yours. When Raoul touches me, it's like venom to my flesh….Oh, Erik, let me touch you, let me give you what you have yearned for."_

_I lay there, my heart pounding against my chest, my mind screaming "No! Have some respect!" Then, there was the two sides of my conscious, one standing on each shoulder. While the one said "No, Erik, don't do this to her, it's not right." The devil on my shoulder however smiled and said "Yes, Erik, you deserve this after all she's done to you. Her body is the least she could offer you."_

_But before I could make a decision, it was too late, Christine was already unbuttoning my trousers. Once my trousers were completely off, Christine touched me! Just feeling a woman's hand clasped around me was pure bliss. For once, my hand wasn't giving me pleasure, it was Christine's hand! I had been raped more than once in my lifetime. I still have bad memories of my master touching me and trying to give me pleasure. He thought I liked the way he touched me, but I didn't….and when I would cry, he would silence it by making me pleasure him with my mouth. _

"_Erik, am I hurting you?"_

_Damn me! I was so focused on the memories of my master making me pleasure him that I had lost Christine's pleasure along the way. _

"_What? No….of course not….it's just…"_

_But she was already crying. _

"_I'm sorry." she was apologizing to me. Why? Her touching me had felt great, and if not for the memories of my master, I would have been calling out her name._

"_Christine?"_

_I sat up, and ran my fingers down her cheek._

"_I can't do anything right, Erik. I'm a horrible lover."_

"_No you're not, Christine. What makes you say that?"_

"_Raoul…." she wiped her nose. "Raoul said I gave horrible pleasure. I'm doing it to you too aren't I?"_

_How I wanted to walk right across the ocean and pound that fop straight into his handsome face! How dare he tell Christine she gives horrible pleasure! How dare he! He didn't deserve such a wonderful woman!_

"_No, Christine. You have given me nothing but the best."_

"_Then why is it that your moans ceased?"_

"_I was thinking about my master." I confessed. "How he made me do horrible things to him."_

"_We can stop, Erik."_

_I laid on top of her body, and gave her a soft kiss._

"_Only if you wish to, Christine. Your touch gives me nothing but pleasure."_

_From beneath the covers, I felt her take my hand and run it seductively along her skirts. Her eyes were burning into my own, so much that I was throbbing with want…want for her body._

"_I need to know." she pleaded. "I need to know if your touch will make me feel the same way."_

_Her hand traced my own down to her bare ankles, and up underneath her skirts. Her flesh was so milky and smooth, so smooth that I wanted to place kisses over every inch of it. When I felt her panties, I slowly pulled away, afraid of being burned._

"_What scares you, Erik?" she softly asked. "What scares you?"_

"_I'm inexperienced, Christine, what if I hurt you worse than Raoul?"_

"_I want to feel you, Erik….please."_

_My hands trembled as they painfully pulled down her silk panties and threw them to the floor. I had never touched a woman before, and I felt my heart about to explode with such happiness. In my head, I closed my eyes and counted to three, before letting my hand sink itself into her. For the first few moments I didn't hear a sound from her. I still had my eyes closed, and couldn't bear to open them and see the pain stricken look upon her face. I was hurting her….I just had to be….But then, something wonderful occurred….She began moaning my name. She was gasping and pleading me to never stop. I was touching a woman and she was enjoying it! My lips crashed against her neck, as my fingers touched her….Oh, never stop! Never stop this moment! I wasn't even being pleasured, and yet, I myself was also groaning. _

"_Erik, never stop….never…."_

_I kissed her ear, and groaned. "Never, angel, never will I stop."_

"_Consume me…." I heard her scream. "Consume me, Erik. Let the flames consume us…."_

_She wanted me to make love to her…I couldn't….No, I couldn't do such a thing. _

"_No…."_

_I slowly pulled away, and turned from her. I couldn't let myself make love to Christine. I had been raped, I had killed so many people in my lifetime….what had she done to deserve such a monster?_

"_Erik, I want this more than anything. Why don't you feel the same?"_

"_I do…but….Oh, Christine I'm dirty, so dirty. My master made me filthy, and my murders have only covered my body in blood."_

"_Erik, let the past die…..You're here now. Oh, Erik please say you want this as much as I do?"_

_I slightly nodded._

"_Then let me sing for you."_

_Christine and I kissed once again, and as we were, our bodies laid back against the mattress. _

"_Take me, Erik."_

_She was begging me, and what was I doing? Hovering over her body, shaking like a rattle snake. _

"_You're certain?" I asked. _

"_Yes." she was smiling at me._

"_Certain that you want this monster fulfilling his lifelong desire on you like its prey?"_

_Christine leaned up on her elbows, and kissed me._

"_You're a man, Erik. No more and yet no less."_

_We kissed for a while more, until my body could no longer take such teasing and I entered her. It was such a strange feeling…a strange yet wonderful feeling. Christine gasped in excitement as our bodies became one, and I did the same. In all my years on earth, I have read every erotic novel available to my hands, but never did I ever think that this would be happening to me. I laid there as still as could be, just taking in the feeling of myself being within her. It was only when Christine began moving her hips did the real pleasure begin. She lay there thrusting me against her barrier, sending me completely over the edge. I tried to stop her from moving, but it was already too late….I had finished. I felt like a pig….It was the best feeling I had ever felt, but I felt horrible that I couldn't last longer. But I ignored it….I pretended that it never happened, and let her keep moving beneath me. _

"_Erik…yes….yes…"_

_I wanted Christine to get every once of pleasure she deserved, and thrust into her until she herself finished. Yes, it had felt amazing, but we were both too exhausted to talk and fell asleep during another kiss. I felt terrible….I wasn't good enough for such an angel… I laid there most of the night thinking about what I had done. And so, before the sun could rise, ashamed at what I was, afraid to see her eyes. I stood while she slept, and whispered a goodbye, and slipped into the dark, beneath a moonless sky….._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! This chapter took a lot out of me. Haha And I'd like to thank for the wonderful idea….Major win!**


	21. Chapter 21

"_Caught in the bliss of love's first sight_

_Erik and I made love till morning's light._

_Touching and kissing as our bodies spoke_

_Tears were bottling as our voices choked._

_We made love all through the night_

_Oh Erik, how we fit together just right…" _- Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_Erik and I had made love! I don't remember how we got to that point, but I didn't care. It was amazing, and for once, I felt like I belonged somewhere….with someone, that someone being Erik. He was gentle, cared about if he were hurting me or now…Erik was a gentleman. I don't remember much after that, because we had both fallen asleep during a kiss. When I came to again, I lay there wrapped in Erik's sheets, feeling a bit cold. I groaned, and cuddled into my pillow._

"_Erik, could you throw another long onto the fire." I cooed. "It's rather cold in here."_

_When I didn't get a reply, or hear shifting of the covers, I opened my eyes, only to see an empty spot beside me. I had dreamed of waking beside him, and cuddling beneath the sheets, but he obviously had other plans. It was Christmas Eve, what other plans could he have possible had? I sat up, and called out his name, thinking that he was maybe in the kitchen. It was only when my eyes made contact with the floor did I realize that he was actually gone. Our clothes had been scattered all over the floor, but now it was only my own. I collected them, and threw the articles into the wash bin before grabbing something new from the wardrobe closet. This was not how I thought our wonderful night would have ended. He left me no note, or anything telling me where he had gone. I stayed calm though, hoping he had stepped out on an errand. _

_I prepared myself a cup of tea, and sat by the fire waiting for his return…. But as the hours passed, so did my hope of him returning. I tried to keep myself occupied with wrapping my gifts for Erik, but it wasn't enough to keep my mind off of his whereabouts What if something happened to him? What if he had fallen and hurt himself? I couldn't just sit there any longer. I finally threw on my cloak, and headed into town in hopes of finding him. The streets were lined with carolers and last minute shoppers. It was so crowded that I couldn't see past the person in front of me. How was I ever going to find Erik in this mess? I walked from one end of town to the other with no luck at all. I began to worry, and shot by Meg's place to see if maybe she had seen him. _

_I didn't knock on the old door of her apartment building this time around. Instead, I walked right in, only to get a few strange looks by the women who were smoking in the kitchen. I ignored their looks, and walked the stairs that led me to Meg's floor. The door to her room was shut, and I knocked hoping she was home. _

"_Meg, it's Christine. I need to talk to you."_

_I didn't get an answer._

"_Meg, it's really important. Are you home?"_

_Maybe she was out. But it was snowing, and I knew how much she hated the cold. _

"_Meg?"_

_Finally the door opened, and she appeared wearing nothing but her thin night dress._

"_Christine, what is it?"_

"_Can I come in?"_

_I looked in the room, and saw Roberto laying in her bed. It was obvious on why it took her so long to get to the door. She let me in, and I stood there as she crawled back in bed before lighting up a cigarette. _

"_What seems to be the problem, Christine?"_

"_Yes, has the monster raised a hand to you?" Roberto laughed._

"_No, I can't find him anywhere."_

_Roberto took a puff of Meg's cigarette, and blew the smoke towards the ceiling._

"_Have you tried the zoo?"_

"_Don't speak about him like that." I growled. "All I wish to know is if you've seen him or not? It's not like him to be gone for so long."_

_Meg grabbed her cigarette back, and looked my way._

"_Well, it must have been something you did. What were you doing right before he left?"_

_I swallowed hard, wondering if it were the right thing to tell Meg or not. _

"_I…um…We…."_

"_For Christ sakes, Christine, spit it out already. You sound like Erik when he talks."_

"_We made love." _

_Both Roberto's and Meg's faces had turned serious, right before they both began laughing. _

"_Wow, Christine, scared another one off." Meg cruelly teased._

"_That's not funny."_

"_You stole his virginity."_

"_Tell me, Christine," Roberto teased. "What is it like making love to a monster? Especially when you're married."_

"_Stop it!" I shouted. "All I want to know is if you've seen him or not."_

_I was on the verge of tears, but I refused to let them fall. Meg used to be the one I could tell everything to. I used to tell her my darkest secrets without so much as a laugh coming from her….but now, things have certainly changed. She was no longer the sweet, little girl I once knew…._

"_Roberto and I were only outside one time today."_

"_We were at breakfast." Roberto cut in. "At the "La Broado" _

"_We seen him strolling towards the bay."_

"_No it wasn't the bay." Roberto argued. "It was towards the Phantasma library."_

"_Like you would know…"_

"_Thanks. I'll check there."_

_At least I got a destination anyway. I first checked along the bay, but it was as empty as a ghost town. Nothing but ships barged at the docks, and the sound of water crashing against the shore. Here I was on Christmas eve, standing alone at the bay. I was supposed to be home, enjoying Christmas eve with Erik, not here. I stood there on the beach, the wind carrying the far distant sounds of carolers singing. _

"_Oh, Erik, where are you?" it was then that I finally let my tears fall. It scared me that I couldn't find him anywhere. What had I done to make him leave? Had I been a terrible lover after all?_

"_Christine?"_

_I stood there looking at the ocean, only to hear my name being called out ever so softly. It was him! It was his voice. But I was angry, and didn't want to turn around._

"_Where have you been?" I shuddered. "Don't you know I've been searching for you all damn day? Doesn't that mean a thing to you?"_

_I now felt him standing right behind me. _

"_**Oh, Christine. My Christine. In that time as we both laid bed…my Christine just last night right as we were led, Ah, Christine….We shared something of love, it made my soul soar up above….What a wonderful night…"**_

_I shuddered. __**"Some night…"**_

_Erik slowly spun me around to face him. He looked disheveled, and I could only wonder why he left me. If it had been wonderful for him, than why did he leave?_

"_**Once there was a night, beneath a moonless sky, to dark to see a thing, to dark to even try."**_

"_**I strolled to your side, to sing and let our music grow. I couldn't see your face but sensed you even so. And I touched you."**_

_I ran my fingers up the top of his shirt._

"_**And I felt you."**_

"_**And I heard those ravishing refrains. The music of your pulse."**_

"_**The singing in your veins."**_

"_**And I held you."**_

"_**And I touched you."**_

"_**And embraced you."**_

"_**And I felt you."**_

"_**And with every breath and every sigh."**_

"_**I felt no longer scared."**_

_Erik placed his mouth at my ear._

"_**I felt no longer shy. At last our feelings bared beneath a moonless sky."**_

_I broke away from him, and turned around to face the ocean once more._

"_**And blind in the dark, as soul gazed into soul. I looked into your heart, and saw you pure and whole."**_

_Erik's arm then swung around me, as his other hand traveled up the side of my cloak._

"_**Cloaked under the night, with nothing to suppress, a woman and a man, no more and yet no less….And I kissed you."**_

_I turned, and traveled my hands up and down his slender arms._

"_**And caressed you."**_

"_**And the world around us fell away, we said things in the dark, we never dared to say."**_

"_**And I caught you."**_

"_**And I kissed you."**_

"_**And I took you."**_

"_**And I begged you." **_

"_**With a need to urgent to deny. And nothing mattered then, except for you and I, again and then again…beneath a moonless sky."**_

_It was then that I broke away from him again. I was angry…if everything was so wonderful, then why had he left?_

"_**And when it was done, before the sun could rise, ashamed at what I was, afraid to see your eyes. I stood while you slept, and whispered a goodbye, and slipped into the dark, beneath a moonless sky."**_

"_**And I worried, yes I worried. I'd have followed anywhere you led. I woke to embrace your body, and found you gone instead."**_

"_**And I left you"**_

"_**Yes I worried."**_

"_**And I had to both of us knew why."**_

"_**I don't know why."**_

"_**And yet I won't regret from now until I die, the night I can't forget, beneath a moonless sky….And now…"**_

_I turned to him, upset about what he had done. He could have been laying in an alley, and yet, he didn't even care if I knew or not._

"_How can you talk of now?"_

"_I was ashamed of myself."_

"_And are you still? Am I really a horrible lover?"_

_Erik embraced my shoulders, and looked into my eyes._

"_Christine, how could you ever think that? If only you could understand how ashamed I was for what I had done."_

"_You made love to me, Erik." I cried. "Is that what you're ashamed of?"_

"_No, heavens no, Christine!…I…I couldn't last longer than a few seconds. Do you know how embarrassed I was?"_

_Erik turned from me in shame. God, I didn't know! I had no idea that he only lasted a few moments. Still, that was no reason to be upset. _

"_Erik, you were a virgin. How long did you think you were going to last?"_

_This wasn't helping him, and then I remembered my wedding night with Raoul. I myself didn't last more than a few moments….I could only thank God for that. I placed my hand over Erik's shoulder, and calmed down enough to sound kind and soothing._

"_Erik, I didn't last long my first time either. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Next time you'll be even more breathtaking than before."_

_This had lifted his spirits._

"_Next time?" he questioned. "You mean you would….you would really want a next time?"_

_I shyly nodded. _

"_Why wouldn't I want that feeling again, Erik? You were wonderful."_

_He lifted my cold hand to his malformed lips, and pressed a kiss to it._

"_Forgive me." he cooed. "Forgive Erik."_

"_Only if you promise to stay in bed beside me next time. Raoul never stayed in bed after making love to me. I would really love to know what it's like to wake up beside the person I spent the night before with."_

"_You have a promise."_

"_You left me, Erik, especially on Christmas eve."_

"_Well then, we shouldn't wait a moment more to get home."_

_Erik playfully scooped me up into his arms, and I laughed._

"_Erik, put me down."_

"_I'm sorry, I cannot do such a thing, my dear. It's Christmas eve and you wish to get home…"_

"_I can walk." I giggled._

_Erik placed me down, and we began walking back to the flat. Once there, Erik threw a log on the fire, and removed his cloak._

"_I'm going to get a bath." he stated. "I'll be back soon."_

_When Erik disappeared, I took the wrapped gifts for Erik, and placed them under the tree where he wouldn't be able to see them. Afterwards, I changed into my nightgown, and knocked on the closed bathroom door. _

"_Erik, could I come in?"_

"_Yes."_

_When I entered, I noticed Erik standing at the sink with a towel wrapped around his waist. He was soaking wet, and standing in front of the mirror wearing his mask._

"_I just wanted my brush."_

_Erik reached inside the cabinet, and handed it to me._

"_Are you going to take a bath?" he asked me._

"_No, I'm going to get one in the morning."_

_I stood there in front of the cracked mirror brushing my hair as Erik stood beside me. _

"_Could I brush your hair?"_

_I couldn't believe he was asking me this. Never had Raoul ever asked me such a wonderful question. In all our years of marriage, Raoul never wanted to do this to me. Erik gained pleasure in the smallest things in life…..We were so alike in many ways…_

"_You want to?" I nervously asked._

"_Of course, hasn't Raoul ever done this for you?"_

_I shook my head, and placed my brush into his boney hands._

_Erik was so gentle as he ran the bristles through my curls. He took extra precaution with my tangled hair…it was as if he had done this before. _

"_So who was the girl?" I asked._

_Erik chuckled, and pressed a soft kiss to my shoulder, one that sent shivers down my spine._

"_What girl are you speaking of?" he questioned._

"_The woman's who hair you brushed."_

"_Just yours."_

"_You're so gentle, Erik. It's as if you've done this before."_

"_There is an old saying, that having your hair brushed by someone other than yourself is the most amazing feeling. Tell me Christine, what does having your hair brushed feel like?"_

"_Refreshing." I sighed._

"_I'm glad you feel that way. As you can probably see, I haven't any hair to brush."_

_I looked up at the thin strands of hair on Erik's bald head. My poor angel, life hasn't been fair to him at all. Playfully, I took the brush from his hands, and stood behind him, gently running the brush over his hairs. _

"_How does it feel, Erik?"_

"_You're too kind to me, do you know that?"_

_I looked down at the brush within my hands, and then back at him._

"_I didn't used to be this way…."_

_Erik placed his finger over my lips to silence me._

"_Don't speak about the past, Christine. Never speak about what happened years ago. You're kind to me now, and that's all that matters."_

"_If you say so."_

"_No, I know so…Now let me have a few moments of privacy. I must dress."_

_With that, I left the bathroom, and set a few pillows out on the floor, before laying across them with a blanket over me. With the flames warming me, and the pillows laying beneath me, I was able to close my eyes and relax. A few moments later, I felt the covers being opened, and for Erik to crawl in beside me. He smelled amazing, and placed his hand over my waist. I faced him, and snuggled my face into his chest. _

"_You should be sitting in your chair." I said. _

"_I'd rather be down here with you." _

_I smiled, and began kissing his neck. Soon he was laying on top of me, kissing my neck ever so passionately as the flames from the fire kept us warm._

"_Are you hungry?" he asked me, still kissing my ear._

"_Not really. Are you, Erik?"_

"_Perhaps, maybe we could eat something small for dinner."_

_I kissed him on the lips ever so softly._

"_Sounds wonderful. I'll make you what ever you want."_

_Erik buried his face into my hair, and sighed._

"_What ever you want, Christine."_

_Before I could answer, a knock occurred at the door. It was strange, because no one ever knocked._

"_Who in God's name on Christmas eve would be knocking on the door?"_

_Erik stood up, and stumbled to the door. When he opened it, Mr. Squelch stepped inside covered in snow._

"_I'm sorry for the intrusion, boss."_

_The man's emerald eyes glared my way, and he smiled._

"_Hello, miss."_

_I waved, and Erik interrupted._

"_You were saying, Mr. Squelch?"_

"_Yes, sorry, you must come at once. There is a situation down at the Phantasma stables."_

_Erik seemed impatient, but paid attention to his employee._

"_What kind of situation?" he growled._

"_The animals are in a major uproar, and you can hear it all the way in Coney Island. I just passed the stables, and it's a bastard of a ruckus, sir."_

_Erik looked back at me in disappointment, and bent down to grab his braces to place them on. After throwing on his cloak, he bent down and pressed a kiss to my lips. _

"_I'm terribly sorry, Christine. I promise to be back as soon as I can."_

"_Do you want me to come with you?" I suggested._

"_No, it's dreadfully cold out there. Just stay warm, and I'll be back as soon as I can."_

_I didn't want Erik to leave, but I knew he had to check on the stables. When he left, I kept myself occupied by reading and watching the clock. But Erik never returned. When the grandfather clock struck ten, I crawled into bed and looked up at the ceiling. I tried to stay awake as long as possible, but was too exhausted and fell asleep. _

_I don't know how long I slept, but when I awoke, I heard someone rummaging around in the other room. I rolled over and closed my eyes feeling better that Erik was home. When I felt two hands embracing my shoulders, I sighed, thinking they were Erik's. But in one fast motion, I was violently rolled over and in the dark, hovering over me was not Erik, but Raoul! _

"_Hello, Lotte." he growled._

_I screamed! I screamed for Erik! _

"_Help! Erik, help me!"_

_Raoul laughed, and I could smell the whisky seeping from his breath. This brought back horrible memories from when Raoul used to beat me. _

"_You think you can just run away from me? You think by coming over here and hiding with the demon that I wouldn't find you?"_

_He leaned in really close, and screamed in my ear._

"_I found you, Christine! You shall be punished! You bitch! You shall be punished!"_

_I struggled beneath him, and found a way to kick Raoul aside. I ran throughout the flat, screaming for Erik, pleading for him._

"_Your monster's not here, Christine!" Raoul growled. "He had to pay."_

_When I entered the main room, horror stopped my heart. There on the floor, was Erik laying on a blood covered floor. _

"_I bashed his hideous face in, Christine!"_

_I stood there shivering, and sobbing. The room was filling with blood that was dripping from the walls, and it was then that Raoul spun me around and stabbed me in the chest. _

_I woke screaming, and covered in sweat. I looked around the dark room making sure it had only been a dream. It was, Erik was laying in the bed beside the one I was in. I sighed in relief, and laid back down. Only when I did, I heard a pounding against the window. Once more I sat up, too afraid to go back asleep. _

"_Erik?" I softy called his name, hoping he would wake._

"_Erik, please wake up."_

_He softly groaned, and rolled over on his back._

"_Erik, are you up?"_

_Finally, I heard his breathing become louder, and an answer._

"_No, Christine, I'm talking in my sleep."_

"_I had a bad dream."_

_Erik's hand reached over on the night table, and reached for his mask. _

"_It's only a dream, Christine." he assured. "Just lay back and go to sleep."_

"_I've tried….Oh, Erik, I'm so scared."_

_He paused for a few moments, and I had thought he had went back to sleep. But instead, I head a groan, and his voice._

"_Come over here and lay with me then."_

_I never jumped so quickly from my own bed to his own. I crawled in beneath him, and snuggled up against his chest. _

"_Erik, what was all the commotion at the stables?"_

_Erik ran his fingers through my curls, and placed a kiss to my forehead. _

"_I'll explain it to you in the morning." he yawned. "It's been a long night, I just want to sleep."_

"_Ok, Erik."_

_I closed my eyes, and got began to drift off to the sound of Erik's heartbeat against my ear. It was then that the grandfather clock struck midnight. I sighed, and felt an exciting warmth gather within my stomach._

"_Erik?"_

"_Yes, Christine?"_

"_Merry Christmas…."_

_And with that, we both fell asleep. But I couldn't help but feel excited over spending Christmas with Erik. The holidays with Raoul were always so dull and filled with boring dinner parties, but this was going to be different, Christmas with Erik was going to be the best Christmas ever….._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Christmas day is going to be in Erik's POV so if you have anything you want to add into it, then I suggest you PM me. I always add stuff into my stories that Phans want to read. Thanks! Love you all! **


	22. Chapter 22

"_Christmas is the night God smiled down upon his newborn son, Jesus_

_And yet, I am still waiting for the night he will smile down on me."- _Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_So much for me trying to be passionate with Christine on Christmas Eve. All I had done was try to make up to her for the worry I had caused, and what happens? Mr. Squelch interrupts us. When I left Christine earlier that morning, I only did it to get my mind off of a few things and to Christmas shop. I don't know why, but I wound up buying her the gown we once saw in the shop window. I was embarrassed however of what her reaction would be when she saw it? What if she didn't want to go to the New Years ball with me? I would feel terrible for assuming such a thing. After buying the gown, I had it gift wrapped and browsed around the jewelry store. If she was to wear the gown, she had to have a matching necklace to go with it…. _

_I had been gone a long time, and the guilt within me for leaving her for so long had set in. When I got back to the flat to drop off my gifts, Christine was nowhere to be found. I was worried, and strolled off to find her. She was so upset over what I had done, that all I meant to do was kiss her all night long. But when Mr. Squelch came knocking, I left to go to the Phantasma stables. I was angry at him for interrupting Christine and I, but indeed, the noise coming from inside was rather dreadful. I unlocked the gate, and Mr. Squelch followed me inside as the horses neighed and kicked at their doors. I just didn't understand what all the noise was about. I managed to calm my horses down one by one, but Cesar was still having a fit. When I checked inside his gate however, the source of the problem was right there in front of me. There laying in the hay behind Cesar was Ayesha with five kittens laying beside her. This made me smile. _

"_Oh, so I see you found the source of the problem." Mr. Squelch added._

_I rolled my eyes, and began scooping Ayesha up into my arms._

"_Yes, now help me move her kittens to the empty stable."_

_I walked to an empty stable, and opened the gate before laying my cat down in the hay. Mr. Squelch came up behind me, and placed the kittens down beside Ayesha. _

"_More cats for the show right, boss?"_

"_I'll find something to do with them." I growled. "It's late however, I'd like to get home."_

_Mr. Squelch followed me out of the stables, and I locked the door before hearing him wish me a Merry Christmas. It was very late by the time I made it back to the flat, and not long after I laid down, Christine was waking me, telling me about how she had a bad dream. I offered her to sleep with me, and that was how our Christmas Eve ended. _

_When I rolled over the next morning, Christine was still laying next to me. I opened my eyes, and there she was, smiling at me. _

"_Merry Christmas, Erik."_

"_What are you doing?" I asked, wondering why she was staring at me._

"_Watching you sleep. I've been up a while now."_

"_Why didn't you wake me?"_

"_Because you were tired."_

_Damn me! Instead of wishing Christine a "Merry Christmas" I act like a complete moron. Had I never celebrated a Christmas before? Of course I haven't. _

"_Merry Christmas, Christine."_

_This made Christine smile, and she placed her lips gently over my own. _

"_It's such a beautiful morning, Erik. It snowed last night! It's a winter wonderland out there."_

_Christine bounced out of bed, and placed on her robe._

"_Are you hungry? We should have breakfast together. I can make cinnamon rolls…"_

_This was like a dream. All my Christmas's on Coney Island had been cold and lonely. I would wake and work my day away like it was just another day. But this Christmas was my first, and already I was enjoying myself._

"_Erik? Does that sound ok with you?"_

_I had been lost in my train of thought that I had totally forgot about her suggestion for breakfast._

"_Yes, wonderful."_

_When Christine disappeared to the kitchen, I stood up and threw on a pair of trousers and a shirt before joining her. I threw a log on the fire, and stood in front of the Christmas tree looking at all the ornaments her and I had decorated it with. _

"_What were Christmas's like back in Paris?" I asked._

_Christine looked up from the stove._

"_Rather boring. Nothing special, really. I always woke alone, because Raoul's relatives came over early. We would open gifts all at once instead of watching eadh another open one at a time. Then we would talk, mostly about business, and then eat dinner in the dining room. Nothing worth talking about…How about Christmas here?"_

_I fingered one of the red balls on the tree, and chuckled._

"_Just another day, Christine. Who was I to spend the day with but myself? Working helped pass away the time."_

_Hearing this had brought Christine to my side. _

"_Let's change that, Erik. Come on, help me stir the icing for the cinnamon rolls."_

_She took me by the hand, and led me into the kitchen where she placed a bowl of white speckled cream in my hand and told me to stir. She then went back to the counter to twist the dough into the shape of cinnamon rolls. _

"_Keep stirring, Erik."_

"_Why are we doing this anyway?"_

"_Because my father and I used to do this all the time. It was a tradition to wake up and make cinnamon rolls for breakfast…though, Raoul never liked the idea. It's been years since I've done this."_

_My angel was so happy, and hearing her laugh was a precious gift._

_Once she had the rolls placed out on the cooking tray, she pulled me to her, and placed her hands over my own that were holding the bowl._

"_Now slowly pour on the icing."_

_She tilted the bowl, guiding me over each roll until the icing was gone. After she placed the tray in the oven, she handed me the icing covered spoon._

"_You can lick the spoon if you'd like."_

"_I'll pass."_

"_Come on, Erik."_

_Christine didn't like my refusal, and wound up playfully hitting the spoon against my mouth. _

"_I told you I didn't want any."_

"_Now look at you." she laughed. "Your mouth is covered in icing."_

_But this was far from the end. When I tried to lift my handkerchief to wipe my mouth, Christine stopped me, and placed her lips over my own. I sighed…Oh, how I sighed at such a wonderful feeling. As our mouths kissed one another, I could taste the sweet icing against her own lips. This was heaven, surely this had to be heaven! _

"_Come on, Erik, let's open gifts."_

_She pulled me back into the main room, and knelt down beneath the tree. What was she doing? Surely she didn't buy me a gift…..but she had…and there was more than one! _

_I sat there in my arm chair, watching her hand me a small wrapped box in excitement._

_She hopped into my arms, and pressed a kiss to my malformed lips._

"_Merry Christmas, Erik."_

"_Christine…you didn't have to buy me a thing. You gave me my mask, and that's enough."_

"_Erik, don't be ridiculous. Now open your present."_

_Right, Erik, don't be a monster on Christmas! _

_I never received a gift on Christmas, and to say I wasn't excited about it would be a lie. I pulled back the red paper, and opened the box in pure excitement. When I looked inside, I was surprised to see a new pocket watch….but not just any pocket watch, it had my name engraved into it! I needed a new one because I was constantly having problems with the one I currently owned. It was beautiful, and I immediately tore the old one from my pocket to place it with the one Christine gave me._

"_You didn't have to do that." I said. "Really…"_

"_Do you like it?" _

"_Like it? I love it, Christine."_

_I kissed her, and got up to get both of her gifts from the closet._

_Deciding not to embarrass myself upon watching Christine open her first gift, I handed her the smaller of the two; the one that held the necklace._

"_Erik! You didn't…"_

_I smiled, and handed her the wrapped present._

"_Of course I did. Why wouldn't I? you bought me a gift."_

"_But Erik."_

"_But nothing, now open it…"_

_Christine tore away the wrapping paper, and opened the box. Her mouth instantly dropped open, and she looked up at me._

"_Erik…"_

"_Do you like it?"_

_Christine took out the red diamond necklace, and smiled._

"_Erik, it's beautiful, I've never seen anything so….so..Oh, Erik, you didn't have to!"_

_I scooted beside her, took the necklace from her hands, and hooked it around her neck. _

"_Erik, this must have cost a fortune."_

"_Don't talk about money, Christine. I have plenty, and there's no reason why I can't spend some of it on you."_

_When the necklace was hooked, I pressed a kiss to her neck, and looked at her._

"_It was made for you, Christine."_

"_Ok, your turn!"_

"_No, it's not my turn yet." I said. "I have one more."_

"_All the more reason why you should open yours first…Erik, come now…"_

"_No buts. But before you open your gift, I must ask you something."_

"_Anything."_

_This made my heart flutter. Such a wonderful Christmas this was turning out to be. _

"_I don't think you know, but every New Years Eve, I hold an annual ball for my employees."_

_Christine smiled._

"_No, I didn't know that."_

"_Well, I don't like to go, and I only stay an hour, but I was hoping that maybe you'd like to perhaps go with me."_

_Christine wrapped her arms around me, and hugged my body so close to her own._

"_Oh, Erik, yes, yes I would love to go with you."_

_I had a date! For the first time in my entire existence I had a date to take to the ball…to take anywhere. _

"_Here, Christine, I can give this to you now."_

_I handed her the large box, and she tore away the wrapping paper. I waited anxiously as her hands pried away the lid and her face turned pale. _

"_Erik…." she couldn't even finish her sentence, for she was completely speechless. "Erik, this dress! No…I can't accept it…"_

_She slid the box towards me, but I slid it back to her. _

"_No, Erik, when I said…..when I said I wanted this gown, I never thought…I never expected…."_

"_You deserve it, Christine. I want you to wear it…."_

"_Erik…."_

"_And you'll be the only one wearing such a gown."_

"_Yes, because it's expensive….Erik."_

_I chuckled. Why couldn't Christine just accept the gift?_

"_Christine, it's yours, not another word."_

_With that, Christine jumped into my arms, and kissed me over and over again. If I could live one day every day for the remainder of my life, it would be today. _

"_I'll never be able to repay you for this."_

"_I don't want you to."_

"_I have one more gift to give you, Erik."_

_Christine reached over, and grabbed a smaller present._

"_Here, Erik."_

_I opened the final gift from her, and pulled the contraption from the box. _

_My heart completely stopped in my chest. It was beautiful! Completely beautiful. There in my hand was the model of the white chapel I had carved for my Phantasma model, and inside was both Christine and I…But that wasn't all, there was a string attached to the top of the chapel, and a bell attached to the bottom of it. I didn't exactly know what it was, but I didn't care, it was beautiful!_

"_I hope you're not mad." I heard her say. "I shouldn't have taken your models, but I couldn't help myself."_

"_I'm not angry." I murmured, still amazed at the contraption._

"_Do you know what it is?"_

_I shook my head._

"_Well, when Raoul and I were married, we received a special Christmas ornament given to us for our first Christmas together. It's our first Christmas together, and I wanted to make you a special ornament to always remember it by."_

_I cried, oh, how I cried. It was beautiful, and I cried…. My tears turned into sobs, and soon, Christine was wrapping her arms around me._

"_Did I upset you?" she asked._

"_No, no, how could you think that. Oh, Christine, this is the most wonderful thing anyone has ever given me. Christine wishes to remember her Christmas with Erik….Oh, Christine…"_

_I stood up and found a special spot near the star on top of the tree. I hung the ornament, and stepped back to look at it. It was completely perfect. _

"_Merry Christmas, Christine."_

_I wanted to do something even more special for her. I wanted to give Christine something even more special than the gown or the necklace. I wanted to give her something she could take with her back to Paris. _

"_Christine, there is one more thing." I said. "But I have to take you there."_

"_Ok…"_

"_But after breakfast."_

_Christine led me back into the kitchen, and we both sat down and enjoyed the cinnamon rolls that she had baked. Once we were both finished, Christine dressed herself and joined me as we walked outside. It was cold, but with Christine staying close to my body, her warmth made me warm. _

"_Erik, where are we going?"_

"_If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."_

_When we made it to the Phantasma stables, I unlocked the gate, and led her inside. It was quiet now, unlike the night before. I led her all the way to the empty stable where I was keeping Ayesha and her kittens. _

"_Right here."_

_I pointed inside the gate, and Christine leaned over and looked at the small kittens that were cuddled beside Ayesha._

"_Oh, Erik! They're so cute." she gasped._

"_That's what all the noise was last night. Apparently Ayesha decided to have her kittens right at Cesar's feet."_

"_They're so adorable."_

_I opened the gate, and walked inside with Christine. She knelt down beside Ayesha, and gently petted the little kittens._

"_I was thinking perhaps you might want to keep one….To keep you company when I'm not around."_

"_Oh, Erik, really?" she seemed so excited. "I never had a pet before." _

"_Well, pick one, and when it's old enough to leave Ayesha then we'll take it back to the flat."_

_Christine looked over the kittens, not knowing which one to choose._

"_They're all so cute, Erik."_

_Finally, she pointed to an orange and white colored one._

"_I'll choose him."_

"_Why is that?"_

"_Because he's the runt of the litter. He needs special care, just like you."_

_My heart completely melted. Damn me! Why did I have to be such a softy. While Christine watched the kittens ever so closely, I took a seat up against the stable wall. It was something I shouldn't have done, because memories of my childhood began coming back to me. I remember sitting there in my cage one Christmas morning. I was freezing, and completely naked. I watched as the gypsies all sat around their fire and made merry, while I shivered, huddled in the wet feces covered hay to keep warm. Everything soon faded away; Christine, the kittens….everything faded away, leaving the image of my master approaching me just like he had done on that cold Christmas morning. _

"_Merry Christmas, you little demon." he cursed, running his bottle of brandy up against the bars of my cage. "I hope you can forgive me for not giving you your gift sooner."_

_I curled closer to the bars, as my master opened the door and reached inside to pull my naked body away._

"_Come on, little demon, don't be ungrateful…."_

_I kicked, and did everything possible to get away from him, but his grasp was too much. He pulled me straight into the woods, and threw me down on the gravel, causing the stones to cut my knees open. I was shivering with all my might, but my master didn't care, he was already undoing his trousers. _

"_Forgive me demon, I was selfish not to have thought of you first."_

"_Leave me alone…"_

"_Don't be ungrateful, demon. Now I will give you your Christmas present first, but then you must give me mine."_

_He pushed my face down into the snow and gravel, and I tried to push my small body up, but it was no use, it was only scraping my chest and arms. I screamed when I felt him take me from behind….cold and painful….I screamed! _

"_No, No…."_

"_Yes, yes, you like this, tell me you like this."_

"_Erik! Erik, are you ok?"_

_Suddenly, I snapped out of it. I was shivering, and Christine was now knelt in front of me._

"_Erik, you were screaming. Are you alright?"_

_I tried to stand, only to feel pain in my bottom, the same agonizing pain I felt the day my master finished with me. _

"_I'm fine. We should leave the stables." _

_I needed some air….yes, that's it, I needed some air. Once I was outside, I took a seat on the bench right beside the stables, and took several deep breaths. Christine came running out and took a seat beside me._

"_Erik, are you sure you're ok?"_

"_Yes, perfectly fine." I gasped. "I just had a flashback is all."_

_Christine hugged me ever so closely, and rubbed my back sympathetically._

"_I'm sorry, Erik, I shouldn't have made you stay in there."_

"_My master…." I cried. "My master…he made me so sore."_

"_Erik, it's alright, I'm here now."_

"_Could we maybe go back to the flat now?" I asked like a scared child. _

"_Of course."_

_Christine took me by the hand, and led me back towards the flat as I stumbled along; the memories of my master still fresh within my mind. We were the only ones on the street, and as we got closer to my flat, I felt something hard bash me in the back of my skull. I immediately fell forward, and landed face first into a pile of snow. All I heard were screams….screams by my Christine. Everything felt fuzzy, and when I turned over on my back, I could see Christine being pulled aside by one man while another began fondling her chest. No! no! I wouldn't let this happen!_

_The man turned back around, and faced me…I knew him…it was the same one who had hurt me a few weeks ago. _

"_Merry Christmas, Ugly!" he teased. _

_I lay there in a complete fog, watching helplessly at Christine being fondled and teased. _

"_You're going to pay now, ugly…."_

_The man reproached Christine and began undoing his pants…No, no! I wouldn't let this happen. I laid back, and began rummaging through my coat pocket like a drunk man without straight senses. Come on! Find it! Finally, I grasped what I had been looking for; my carving knife. I whipped it out, and pushed myself into a sitting position despite the wooziness in my head. _

_I wobbled to my feet, my braces being the only things giving me support. I wasn't taking this as a joke! I couldn't let them harm my Christine. _

"_Let her go…" I staggered. "Don't hurt…her."_

_The man turned, his pants hanging down at his ankles._

"_Fine with me….I've always wondered what it be like to have a monster…."_

_When he grabbed my wrist, a horrible memory of my master came into mind, one that I acted out on….My knife quickly made its way in my hand into the man's stomach. The man dropped back, and fell to the ground, the white snow around him turning blood red. _

"_You bastard!" I heard this voice from behind me, but by the time I turned around, it was too late, the other man had taken his bat and rammed the end of it straight into the part of my wig that cradled my exposed skull. Like one of my animatronics in Phantasma, this was my off switch….All the power was instantly drained from me, and I too fell to the ground, but not before stabbing him in the throat. I felt the life being sucked from my body….God had given me one of the best days of my life, and now he was taking it from me. It was as if all the arteries wrapped around my exposed skull had popped, and I could feel blood leaking from me…..I couldn't stay awake any longer, and quickly slipped away…._

"_Christine….Christine…." I felt myself calling for her. I felt everything…my throbbing head, my aching body….everything felt so real, because it was real. When I opened my eyes, the first thing I noticed was the Christmas tree glowing in the other room. Where was my Christine? I had to know that she was ok. My head was numb, but I could still feel the agonizing pain in the location of my exposed skull. Along with that, I also felt a bandage wrapped tightly around my head. _

"_Christine…" I whimpered her name, wondering what in god's name had on. _

_Finally, I heard the door open, and footsteps approaching my bed. _

"_Erik."_

_Finally, I saw her. She was ok….That's all that mattered…Her fingers reached out and touched my cheek ever so softly. She had tears in her eyes, but they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of joy. _

"_You saved me…."_

"_I…I had to…"_

"_The police….they….they just left. Those two thugs…Oh, Erik you…you killed them both."_

_I was happy about this, but in my mind, I knew I couldn't be. It had been ten years since I had killed anyone….But I did it for a reason, it was out of protection, Christine's protection._

"_The police aren't pressing charges against you, Erik, I told them what happened. But the press….Oh, Erik you're going to be all over tomorrow's paper. It's all my fault."_

_Great, that's all I needed….I was already the press's favorite person to spread rumors about, but now….god! Now they really did have a story, one that they would surely make into some fabrication of what they believed and wanted to happen….But all I cared about was Christine….She was safe._

"_You should rest now, Erik. You're in a lot of pain. The doctor operated on your exposed skull. The bat cracked the bone, and severed an artery. You're going to need all the rest you can get. I'll take care of you, Erik."_

_Christine crawled in bed with me, and placed a kiss on my lips. _

_And then she did something I never expected. She looked me straight in the eyes, and placed a hand over my masked cheek._

"_Erik?"_

"_Yes, Christine?" I asked in a low feverish voice._

"_I…I love you."_

_God! Let this moment never end. Was this really happening? Or was this some hallucination from the medicine the doctor had given me. _

"_Christine?"_

"_Shh…Erik?"_

"_Yes, Christine?"_

_Once again, her lips met with mine, and we kissed, oh, how we kissed. Maybe she wouldn't love me in the morning, but she admitted to it now, and that's all that mattered. And when we broke away, she kissed my neck and cuddled beside me._

"_Merry Christmas, Erik."_

_Oh, and what a wonderful Christmas it was….._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! More to come soon! That and the New Years ball…Any fluff you wanted to get added in for the****ball, let me know…Thanks! **


	23. Chapter 23

"_This haunted face holds pure horror for me now_

_It's in your soul that the true beauty lies."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_Despite the horror that played out on Christmas, it had been the best one I ever celebrated. That night, I stayed by Erik's side until he fell asleep and then crawled back into my own bed. The next morning, I awoke early and rummaged through the kitchen to whip up some breakfast. The anesthesia the doctor had given Erik to numb his pain had kept him calm and stable throughout the night, and I knew he was drowsy from it. As I was pouring Erik a glass of orange juice, I heard a screaming coming from the bedroom. _

_I quickly grabbed the glass, and hurried into the bedroom to see Erik tossing and turning in a feverish fit. _

"_Erik…"_

_I approached his side, and began shaking him. He awoke full of sweat, and gasping for air. _

"_Erik, what's wrong?"_

_He laid back against his pillows, and sighed in relief. I handed him the glass of juice, and he gulped it down. _

"_You were having a bad dream."_

_He looked up at me, and nodded._

"_It was of my master."_

"_Do you want some more medicine? The doctor left a few doses behind to help you with your pain."_

_I reached over for the syringe, but Erik stopped me._

"_No more medicine. I've had enough of feeling woozy."_

"_But what about your pain?"_

"_It's not as bad as it was."_

_For the next few days Erik stayed in bed, mostly sleeping away his pain. Most of the time we hardly said a word to each other….Now that I think about it, he never even brought up the fact that I told him that I loved him. I had said this to him on Christmas night, and he had yet to say anything. Maybe he didn't hear me…Maybe he was so drugged that he didn't even recall me telling this to him. But if he did, and if it hurt him, I didn't want to say it again. Though, he has yet to say the same to me, and so I decided it be better not to say it again, and wait until he felt the same way. _

_Erik laid in his robe most days, only calling for me when he needed something. Those bastards had caused him so much pain, and I could only be glad they were dead. On the other hand, I knew Erik was ashamed of himself for killing, I could see it in his eyes. As much as I didn't want him going to the New Year's Eve ball, I knew he was going to go no matter what. It had been a week since Christmas, and in that week, we had hardly spoken a word to one another. I had come to know that whenever Erik was in great pain, he would silence himself. _

_I stood there in the mirror, looking at my beautiful and elegant gown. It was red, every inch of it sparkling with sequence. The necklace matched perfectly, and as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I felt like a queen. In all the years I had been married to Raoul, never had I ever worn a dress this beautiful. As I was brushing my hair, I felt Erik's hand pull my locks into a bun, and clip it with a red diamond hair clip. _

"_Erik, it's beautiful."_

"_It was my mother's."_

"_Erik, I can't accept it."_

_I turned to him, only to see him dressed in a red suit that was made of soft velvet and a white mask that covered both sides of his face._

"_Erik you look absolutely amazing."_

"_I feel like a vagabond compared to you."_

_I ran my hand up the velvet of his jacket and to the part of his wig that caressed his exposed skull. _

"_Maybe you shouldn't go, Erik."_

"_I'll be fine."_

"_You're still in pain though."_

"_I'll be fine. I wouldn't miss this ball for the world. You my dear, look like a princess."_

_I smiled, and placed a kiss to his lips._

"_I can't accept your hair clip, Erik."_

"_Nonsense, I've had this for years. I was hoping that I'd be able to give it to you one day."_

_Erik took me by the arm, and led me towards the opera house where the ball was being held. Already, the press was standing at the door, flashing pictures and crowding Erik, asking questions about his involvement in the killing of the two thugs. Erik just pushed his way through them, and pulled me along. _

"_Mister E! Mister E! tell us about your involvement!" they pleaded. "Is this woman your wife?"_

_Erik didn't answer them, and kept me close by. The opera house ball room was decorated in bright red and green colors. Balloons and bright costumes filled the room, along with a band playing on the other side. _

"_Erik, this is wonderful."_

"_I'm glad you think so. Come along, I have a special table." _

_Indeed he did. Where the tables were set, he had one set in the center of them all. I felt like royalty! _

_I stood there beside Erik as his employees came up to him one by one dressed in their costumes, to shake his hand. Erik was a pure gentleman, for he introduced me to everyone that came up to him. _

"_Do you want something to drink, Christine?" I heard Erik ask after a while._

"_Yes, I'll get us something." I said._

_I walked up to the bar, only to see Mr. Squelch standing there. _

"_Hello, Christine." _

_I said hi, and told him what I wanted. _

"_So have you come with the boss?"_

"_Yes, why wouldn't I?" I questioned._

"_Boss never brings anyone here. I was going to ask you to come with me."_

_Mr. Squelch was beginning to make me uncomfortable, and I was glad when Meg showed up with Roberto. She was dressed in a skimpy white outfit and Roberto in his black suit. Meg blew out a puff of cigarette smoke, and laughed at the sight of me._

"_Where's Erik?"_

"_He's here somewhere." I said, picking up the two glasses of chardonnay I had ordered._

"_I need to talk to you."_

"_About what? I don't want to keep Erik waiting."_

_Meg kissed Roberto on the lips, and gently pushed him aside._

"_I need to talk to Christine, darling. Go find some trouble to get into until I get back."_

_When Roberto walked away, she pulled me out of the ballroom and into the dark cold hallways._

"_You've been a naughty girl, Christine."_

_Meg took an opened envelope out of her coat pocket, and handed it to me. _

"_A very naughty girl indeed. This was sent over from my mother to give to you. I read it, and I have to say that it's not good news."_

_I tried to snatch it out of Meg's hands, but she pulled away._

"_You wouldn't believe the trouble you're getting yourself into."_

"_Give it up, Meg." I growled._

_Finally, she placed the envelope into my hand, and smiled evilly._

"_Erik's money won't get you our of this one."_

_With that, Meg walked back into the ballroom, leaving me standing there alone with the envelope in my hands. I was afraid to open it, but I had to know what this was all about. I pulled out the folded letter, and began reading it._

"_**Christine,**_

_**I am writing to tell you I have received your letter. How could you do this to me? The man who saved you from that monster, the man who truly loves you! The ships may not be able to sail across the icy ocean, but by God! I swear, when the spring sun melts the winter ice, I will be on the first ship to America to find you. Yes, that's right Christine, I know where you're at. You think by sending me a letter that I'll let this marriage go to hell. You're wrong, Christine, absolutely wrong. On our wedding day, I vowed to love you until death do we part, and I will keep that vow. I'm going to come over there, drag you out from the hell at which you are currently staying at, and make sure that man you're with perishes and is never found. **_

_**It won't be long now, my love. Until we meet again.**_

_**Your loving Husband**_

_**Raoul"**_

_I slid down to my knees, and began to cry. Raoul knew where I was….I couldn't let Raoul come over here in the spring and find me. I couldn't let him hurt Erik…._

"_Christine?"_

_I heard my voice being called by Erik, and quickly tore up the letter to get rid of it. _

"_Christine? Are you out here?"_

_I stood up, and wiped my eyes before Erik began worrying about me. _

_It was then that he came walking around the corner with his hands folded behind his back._

"_Christine, I've been looking all over for you. Why are you out here all alone?"_

_What could I tell him? I couldn't possibly tell him about the letter. _

"_I just came out here to….."_

_I stopped. I didn't want to lie, but he was looking right into my eyes, seeking the truth._

"_To?"_

"_To have a look at the opera house." I lied. "I never seen it before."_

_Erik smiled, and held out his hands to embrace my own._

"_I'll show you, but first, how about a dance?"_

_This made me feel better, and I walked back into the ballroom with him. Once there, Erik led me to the dance floor, where he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned my head up against his chest, and sighed…..When I was in Erik's arms, I felt safe, and I never wanted it to be any other way. _

"_Tell me, Christine, are you enjoying yourself?"_

_Erik spun me around, and I looked up into his eyes._

"_Yes, I love spending time with you."_

"_It's nice having someone to take to special occasions."_

"_I love it, Erik."_

_Soon, the music sped up, leaving Erik and I as the only ones on the dance floor. We waltzed as the crowds of employees stood behind us, watching our dance. Erik was such a wonderful dancer. His legs moved in sync with my own, out hearts beat together as one as my breathing matched Erik's._

_The way we danced was sexual, and Erik's arms traced my body as my own caressed his back. When the music ended, the crowd clapped, and Erik pulled me out into the hall before pushing me up against the wall. _

"_Oh, Christine, that dance reminded me how much I need your body. Ten years ago, the night we danced to Don Juan Triumphant our bodies spoke to our sexual needs."_

_His voice was hypnotizing, and my fingers ran seductively up and down his chest, stopping at his trousers, and groping him. _

"_You tease me, Christine." he sighed. "So much."_

"_Show me around, Erik."_

_Erik took me by the hand, and led me down the dark dim lit hallway. _

"_Erik, this is beautiful."_

"_Indeed."_

"_How is it that you know your way around so well in such darkness?"_

_Erik stopped me, placed his cravat over my eyes and tied it tightly behind my head. _

"_What are you doing?" I giggled._

"_I want to show you something."_

"_By blind folding me?"_

_I waited for Erik to answer me, but he didn't. _

"_Erik?"_

_I began walking forward with my arms stretched outward. _

"_Erik, are you there?"_

_Suddenly, I heard Erik's voice again._

"_You're getting warmer."_

_I giggled, and continued walking._

"_Warmer…."_

"_Erik, stop teasing."_

"_Step up, Christine."_

_I did as he asked, and stepped up. I was on a staircase of some sort now, and continued stepping up._

"_You're burning, Christine."_

_I stopped walking, and felt Erik standing behind me. I then felt his hands over my blindfold._

"_Ok, Christine, on the count of three I'm going to remove the blindfold. _

"_One, two….Three…"_

_And just like that, Erik removed his cravat, and I opened my eyes. I was standing on the stage, and looking out at the empty seats of the audience. The auditorium was beautiful….there was a chandelier bigger and better than the one back in Paris. _

"_Erik…."_

_I was shocked at such beauty. It had been years since I last stood on an actual stage. Erik's hands then placed themselves on my shoulders, and he kissed my neck._

"_Do you feel it, Christine?" he asked me softly. "Do you feel the rush of the audience cheering for you?"_

_I closed my eyes, and the memory of my days on the Paris stage came rushing back to me. The sound of them clapping and cheering, the smell of fresh roses being tossed on stage, I felt it all. _

"_Do you hear them, Christine? Do you hear the crowd cheering?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Do you miss it?"_

_It had been so long since I had last felt such a rush from the audience. For the past ten years I had been sitting inside a mansion doing absolutely nothing, and when I tried to sing, Raoul would only yell at me. He said that singing only brought back horrible memories of Erik, and that I shouldn't be singing because Erik was the one I had only sung for. _

"_Do you miss it, Christine?"_

_Without another moment to spare, I spun around, and faced Erik._

"_Yes." I gasped. "I miss it more than anything in the world. I miss singing, I miss the audience….I miss…."_

"_Your maestro?"_

_I paused, and looked into his mismatched eyes. Yes, if there was anything I missed, it had been Erik. Ten years ago, I took advantage of his kindness, and it was only after I had left him that I realized what a horrible mistake I had made. The question was, did he miss me? And would he let me stay with him forever? Spring was coming fast, and I knew once the snow melted Raoul would be searching for me. I couldn't tell him about Raoul's letter, I just couldn't…not until I figured out a plan, one that would keep Erik safe. _

"_You mean so much to me, Erik."_

_This made his spirit soar. He sighed, and leaned in to kiss my neck._

"_Christine…" his lips lingered over my flesh. "Tell me what you want? I will grant you anything, anything in the whole world. Tell your Erik that you wish to return to the stage, and it shall be granted."_

_I couldn't believe this! Erik would really grant me the option of returning to the stage? Coney Island's stage? _

"_Really?"_

_He nodded._

"_Of course, I still have connections with the Paris Opera house, my dear. Just say the word, and I will be sure to get your name back in Paris's lights."_

_My heart sank into my chest. After all we've been through, and Erik was still going to send me back to Paris. I wanted to cry, and found it hard to fight the tears that wanted to come. Had he no heart? Had he no love for me? _

"_Say it Christine. Say that you wish to ret…"_

"_No." _

_I turned from him as quickly as I could, and began storming out of the auditorium. _

"_Christine?" I heard him calling for me, but I didn't stop. I hurried out into the dark hallway where I hid. When I was finally away from him, I slid down beside a pillar and sobbed. I wanted to sing for Erik, I wanted to sing for Phantasma, and yet, Erik didn't have that in mind. No, he only had the plan of sending me back to Paris in his head. _

"_Christine? Christine, where are you?"_

_He called out my name, but I didn't answer him._

"_Was it something I said?"_

_Moments later, I felt someone leaning up against the same pillar I was leaning against. I peeked over to see Erik sitting behind me…._

"_Christine, please come out." he cried. "I'm sorry, what ever I said, really, I'm sorry."_

_I pulled my knees close to my chest, and sighed._

"_I'm right here."_

_Hearing this, Erik gasped, and scooted beside me._

"_Christine? What did I say?"_

"_I don't want to sing in Paris." I said, hoping I was giving him clues about how much I wished to live with him forever. _

"_I'm sorry for pressuring you, Christine. I just thought that's what you wanted."_

_With that, he stood up and held out his hand. He didn't offer for me to sing in Phantasma nor did he ask me what I wanted. No, he just took me by the hand and led me back towards the ball room. Once there, I took a seat at our table as Erik talked to a few of his employees from a short distance away. This had ruined my night. Why was Erik so stubborn? Why couldn't he just open his heart and let me into it? I had only been here a short time, but I already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him on Coney Island. Yes, it wasn't a mansion, but it was home… I could sing on stage and be happy, perhaps even adopt a child or two. That's more than what Raoul was ever going to allow me to do._

"_Christine, there you are."_

_I was knocked out of my train of thought by Meg. She was standing beside me, and Roberto was not with her. _

"_I've been looking for you."_

_She took a seat beside me, and lit up a cigarette. _

"_I have to tell you, Christine. In all the years this ball has been going on, this has got to be the longest time Erik's ever stayed."_

"_Well good for him." I growled._

"_Is something wrong? You seem upset?"_

"_I'm fine, except for the fact that Erik obviously thinks nothing of our relationship."_

"_How so?"_

"_He offered me to sing on stage."_

_Meg's eyes lit up. _

"_Really? That's wonderful, Christine. Perhaps the two of us could work together…I can see it now "The Phantasma Girls."_

"_In Paris." I growled. "Erik offered for me to sing in Paris."_

"_He didn't?" Meg pouted. "Well, that's to be expected. He never lets anyone into his life for very long. He's no good for you anyway, Christine. You may think all of this quality time together is great, but it's only because of the winter. You'd hate him in the spring."_

"_Why would you say that?"_

"_Because he's constantly working. When I stayed with him when Phantasma first opened, he was never home. Sometimes I even found him sleeping in his work shop. You may think all of this is great now, but believe me when I say that he's a totally different person come spring time."_

"_I love him, Meg. I don't want to go back to Paris in the spring."_

"_Did you tell him that?"_

_I shook my head._

"_You read Raoul's letter. He's coming for me when ever he can get here. If something ever happened to Erik because of me, I'd never forgive myself."_

"_I know a way to get what you want, but it may cause hell between the both of you."_

"_Tell me." I pleaded._

"_Tell Erik that you're staying in New York. Tell him that when spring comes you're going to get your own place and that's final. He can't make you go back to Paris if you're independent."_

"_But that be a lie. How am I supposed to afford a place on my own? I haven't a job."_

"_That doesn't matter. All that matters is that you want to stay in Coney Island and believe me when I say that it won't even get that far, because he'll eventually come around."_

"_You think it will work?"_

_Meg patted me on the back, and stood to her feet._

"_It's a sure thing, Christine. But if things between the both of you go up in flames, my door is always open." _

_Those words were anything but comforting, but I knew Meg was right. If I was to stay on Coney Island come spring, I had to tell Erik that I was getting a place of my own. This was probably going to end in anything but good, but it needed to be done. _

"_Christine."_

_I looked up and saw Erik standing beside me._

"_Come along, it's almost time to count down to the new year." _

_He took me by the hand, and led me to the center of the ballroom where everyone was standing. But we didn't stop there….no, Erik pulled me out into the hallway, and up a case of stairs. From the ballroom, I could hear the echoes of everyone counting down from ten, but Erik continued to pull me. _

"_Ten, Nine, Eight…."_

_Stair after stair, Erik continued pulling me….The staircase was winding, and I believed it was never going to end._

"_Seven, Six, Five, Four…."_

_Finally we came to a door, and Erik opened it to reveal the beautiful night sky. He walked me out where there were a few statues of angels, and stopped me._

"_Three, Two, One…Happy New Year!"_

_From down stairs, I could hear the employees chanting in celebration, and from where we were standing fireworks began to go off, exploding into wonderful colors in the night sky. Erik placed his cold, gloved hands on my cheeks, and leaned in ever so closely._

"_Happy New Year, Christine."_

"_Happy New Year, Erik…"_

_And by the end of my sentence, Erik was already kissing me as the fireworks continued to go off in the background. How badly I wanted to tell him about my plans to stay, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. _

"_Come, Christine, it's getting extremely late."_

_I listened to him, and he locked his arm with my own as we walked back to the flat. When we were both inside, Erik closed the door, and gently slammed my back against it. _

"_We missed the last dance while we were on the roof." he purred. "Would you like to do it now?"_

"_Of course."_

_With that, Erik spun me around, and we began dancing. His hands floated up the sides of my gown seductively, as my own wandered down to his thighs. _

"_I've never had the privilege of kissing a woman on New Years." he cooed. "They say it's good luck."_

_Erik bent me back before bringing my body forward in one swift motion. He was hypnotizing me…..My eyes were burning for him, and as we continued to dance, my hands began to unbutton his red jacket. _

"_You would do this to me." he cooed into my ear. "Do you know how much I burn for you too?"_

_His hands fingered the lacings on the back of my dress before pulling them apart. Once my shoulders were exposed, I felt his lips indulging them as he continued to pull the dress down my body. _

"_Do you feel the heat of our urges, Christine?"_

_My fingers pulled apart his shirt right before crashing my chest against his own._

"_Oh, Christine, pure fire engulfs our bodies."_

"_Indeed it does."_

_Our backs soon hit the mattress of my bed, with me fingering the buttons of his trousers. We lay there kissing as I tore them away, and felt beneath him for the one object that brought me pure pleasure. But I wanted to do something different, something I never did with Raoul before. I wanted to show him what pure pleasure was…. I trailed my kisses from his neck, all the way down to his chest before moving lower. He gasped and groaned every time my mouth moved lower, and once it was right over his member, I took him fully into my mouth. I had always been disgusted with Raoul, and never tried new things with him simply because the pleasure I received from making love to him wasn't pleasure at all. Raoul was also very rough and in control, not like Erik, Erik gave as much as he got….._

_With Raoul, I just laid back and cringed at what ever he did with me, but with Erik I was different. I wanted to explore, I wanted to try everything possible…..and tonight I was doing just that. I know I was supposed to bring up the fact about being on my own, but I couldn't…not tonight. I had plenty of other nights to tell him….It was only January and I had up until April. I gave him pleasure, and then he did the same to me…..And when we couldn't take anymore teasing, we both indulged ourselves into the bliss of love making. Erik laid there on his back as I rode him; Erik pleading me to never stop. It was wonderful, and even longer than our first attempt had been. _

_And after several moments of kissing one another after finishing, we both fell asleep naked in one another's arms. But as I fell asleep that night, all I could wonder was how Erik could want to send me back to Paris after experiencing something like this? I didn't care, I loved him all the same, and could only hope he would have a change of heart come April….._

* * *

**Ok everyone, Please review! More fluff to come! **


	24. Chapter 24

"_Kiss me and make the sorrowful pain go away_

_Kiss me and tell me everything will soon be ok_

_Kiss me and hold me closely tight to you _

_Kiss me and whisper sweet words that are true_

_Kiss me and lay us on my bed_

_Kiss me from my toes to my head_

_Kiss me here and kiss me there_

_Kiss me all over and everywhere_

_Kiss me softly and kiss me hard_

_Kiss me while you caress my hips_

_Kiss me repeatedly on my lips._

_Kiss me, kiss me even more_

_Oh Christine how my love for you shall soar." _**-**Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_The New Year's ball had been one of the best nights of my life. For the first time in my horrible existence, I had a date to dance with, a date to show off to my employees, a date that stayed by my side the entire night. Even when we returned home, our date did not end. Christine and I made love, and laid within one another's arms until we fell asleep. Spring was certainly around the corner, but I still had plenty of time to enjoy her company. Though, my exposed skull didn't hurt me the entire night of the ball, over the next few days it pounded me worse than ever. _

_For nearly a week, I was laid up in bed with a pounding headache, and no way of making it any better. Christine, being the darling that she was, kept giving me hot towels to place over my exposed skull in hopes of soothing my pain. Most of the time it worked, but right when the warmth went away was when my agonizing pain would return. I felt terribly sorry for Christine's boredom, and felt a little better about it when she brought in her new kitten. At least there was something here to occupy her mind while I rested. She named the orange and white colored cat "Skimbleshanks," and spent most of the day playing with it. Christine went back and forth from playing with the cat to helping me with my pain, but nothing was worse than when she herself got sick. _

_I remember it ever so clearly. I was laying in bed one morning, pressing on my exposed skull with a hot towel when all of a sudden I heard Christine running towards the bathroom. I laid there listening to her vomiting and cringed at the thought of her having the stomach flu. But this however, was unlike any stomach flu I had ever seen before for when Christine emerged from the bathroom she seemed perfectly fine. She even came over to tend to me._

"_Are you ok?" I asked._

_She simply nodded, and shrugged her shoulders._

"_Yes, something must have just disagreed with me is all."_

_How I wished for nothing more than for my pain to go away. I lay there most hours looking up at the ceiling, wondering if this was ever going to stop. Christine even contacted the doctor about my pain, but he responded by telling her that it was going to be normal until everything healed. To make matters worse, Skimbleshanks had taken a liken to me. One morning Christine sat him down on my bed to run into the kitchen for another towel, when the small ball of fur crawled up into my arms and purred. When Christine came back and found Skimbleshanks all curled up with me, she found it absolutely adorable. Why? Why did animals like me so much? Christine was his owner, and yet, he was crawling up with me. _

_I was relieved when my pain started to go away little by little. Christine on the other hand found no relief in her illness, and vomited every morning for the next week. It worried me to a point where I wanted her to fetch a doctor, but she insisted that she was fine. Indeed, the stomach flu makes its rounds on more than one occasion in the winter, but I feared for her like a delicate flower. _

_It had been two weeks since my injury, and I was able to say that my pain was mostly gone. I awoke one Saturday morning with only a slight headache, and that damn cat curled up beside me. After throwing on my robe, I picked Skimbleshanks up by the nape of his neck, and placed him down beside Christine's sleeping form. For the past couple of days her condition had gotten a little worse, and so I was now taking over from being the patient to being the caregiver. She complained of having stomach pains, and I was going to do anything but lay around with just a slight headache. My angel needed me, and therefore, I was going to be there for her. _

_Deciding to let her sleep, I walked out to my desk and began working on documents I hadn't been able to fill out while I was ill. I was writing information down on the first one in the stack, when all of a sudden, Skimbleshanks appeared out of nowhere and pounced onto the neatly stacked pile. The papers fell to the floor, and I growled in anger. Of all thing! Of all things to get Christine and I had to give her a cat! What made me even angrier was when he began to play with the Christmas ornament Christine had made for me. His small paws teased at the tiny bell attached to the chapel, and I quickly pulled it away before anymore damage could be done. After New Years was over, Christine had packed away all the Christmas decorations, but I stopped her from taking away my Christmas ornament. I told her that I wanted to have it out all year long, and placed it on my desk thinking that it would be safe there. I was obviously wrong. _

_I picked Skimbleshanks up by the nape of his neck, and looked him right into his yellow glowing eyes. _

"_I have rules here, cat! Let me make one thing clear. If you even touch this ornament again, you'll be out in the snow before you even have the chance to hide! Christine might think you're a playful ball of fur, but I know otherwise. Your mother had to be trained, and I'll do the same to you."_

_With that, I threw the kitten across the room, only to see it land in my arm chair. When I went back to writing, I was glad to finally have a moment of peace to myself, but I spoke too quickly. Five minutes didn't even pass by when I began hearing a clawing sound. I turned! That damn cat was clawing my arm chair! _

"_That's it!" I growled, biting my lip to hold back my screams that wanted to come. If I woke Christine I would feel terrible for the remainder of the day! I stormed over to my chair, picked the ball of orange fur up and placed him into the tall and empty laundry basket._

"_You've messed with the wrong man, cat. Christine might have stayed silent to you, but I'm proud to let you know that you've messed with the infamous "Trap Door Maker." If I can build a torture chamber out of mirrors, I sure as hell can keep a cat boxed. When you've learned your lesson I'll think about letting you out."_

_With that, I placed the lid on the basket, and stormed back over to my desk. If there was anything I was going to be glad about, it was seeing that damn cat leave Coney Island with Christine in April. _

"_Erik?" I heard a weak calling of my name from the bedroom, and rose to see what Christine needed. I turned the corner, to see her curled up in bed with a hand clasped over her abdomen. _

"_How are you feeling?" I asked. "Is your stomach still bothering you?"_

"_Worse than ever." she replied._

"_Do you want to vomit?"_

"_Not right now." she pressed her face down into her pillow, and sighed. "Come spend some time with me."_

_I approached her, and took a seat at her side, massaging her feet like she once did to me. _

"_I'm sorry you are sick." I cooed. "This is why Coney Island isn't good for you, Christine. The winters here only get harsher, and with that comes illness. It's in the air, and passes from one household to the next."_

"_I like it here, Erik. Everyone gets sick once in a while."_

"_Not like this. Look at you, Christine, it aches me to see you in such agony."_

_Christine clenched at her stomach, and looked at me._

"_It's not that bad."_

"_Maybe not, but you do need something to eat. Your energy must be kept up at all times." _

_I stood up, and placed my quilt over her. _

"_Tell me what you want, and I'll whip it up for you right now."_

_She giggled, which only caused her to cringe in pain._

"_Anything?"_

_I nodded._

"_What ever Christine wants, Christine gets." _

"_French toast would be nice."_

_I smiled._

"_Wish granted."_

_I let Christine rest, and buzzed around the kitchen, preparing the breakfast she desired. When I returned with a small stack of the French toast, I sat at her side, massing her feet as she slowly ate. Christine was quiet for the remainder of the day, and I was able to work in peace. That night, I finished my work, and walked into our bedroom to offer her dinner, but she was fast asleep and I didn't want to wake her. And after letting the cat out of the box, I too, retired for the evening. I laid there in my bed, closing my eyes and waiting for sleep to take over. I don't remember how or what time it happened, but at some point during the night, I heard my name being frantically called._

"_Erik, Erik!"_

_My eyes fluttered open in the darkness, to the sound of silence. I was so exhausted that I closed my eyes again, but that's when I heard Christine's voice call for me. She was in pain! A great deal of pain._

"_Erik…"_

_I heard Christine call out for me before, but never like this….I didn't hesitate a single moment, and turned on the lights. _

"_Erik…"_

_She was laying in bed, clenching the sheets and moving her legs about underneath the blankets._

"_Christine? What's wrong?"_

"_Something doesn't feel right….." She groaned. "I feel….I feel sticky."_

_I tried to calm her down, but her pain kept her moving about. I pulled away the blankets, only to try and comfort her, but when I did, the white bed sheet was covered in blood. Her night gown was stained, and her thighs had blood dripping from them._

"_Christine!" God! What was wrong with her? Why was she bleeding from in between her legs? She had the stomach flu! The stomach flu! This doesn't happen! I've had the damn flu several times and never had this happened to me! My angel was in agony, and losing a substantial amount of blood. I didn't waste anytime, and threw my cloak on before wrapping her up in the quilt and carrying her out the door. She huddled into my chest, and I kept her wrapped up to keep the cold off of her. I hurried through Phantasma, and into Coney Island to reach the infirmary. I never pounded on a door so hard in my life. I pounded on the door, never stopping until the doctor opened the door dressed in his night clothes. _

"_What is it?"_

"_She's bleeding…." I cried. "My friend needs help."_

_The doctor immediately let me in, and led me down a hallway and into a larger open area where nurses were walking around tending to other patients who were laying in beds that were scattered all about. He called for a nurse, and came rushing over carrying a small fabric gurney. I was trembling as I laid her down and watched her being taken away. I tried to follow her, but the doctor wouldn't let me. _

"_You have to stay here."_

"_I need to be with her! I need this! Don't leave me here alone!"_

"_I'll come for you as soon as I can." he replied, throwing on his stethoscope._

_There was a chair set up against the wall, but I didn't sit. I couldn't! I paced the floor back and forth, constantly checking my watch…the pocket watch Christine had bought me for Christmas. It brought tears to my eyes having to look at it. Time seemed to go by ever so slowly, leaving me in this strong medical smelling ward. _

"_God! What's taking them so long." I growled out loud looking at my watch. It was three in the morning, and I had been standing here for almost two hours. When I couldn't take it any longer, I approached one of the nurses that were passing by._

"_Excuse me, I'm trying to find out some information on the woman I brought here a few hours ago."_

_The woman dressed in white looked up at me in shear terror, and hurried away. _

_Damn my looks! Why is it that my mask frightened everyone? Another nurse walked by, and I called out to her, hoping she would talk to me. _

"_Excuse me, I'm trying to find some information on the woman I brought in here."_

"_The brown haired woman?" she asked._

_Finally! Someone was communicating with me. _

"_Yes, is she alright?"_

"_She's still in surgery. Could be that way for a while. It's best that maybe you go home and come back in the morning."_

_No! I wouldn't leave her. I refused to leave! What if they needed me? What if the doctors needed my help, or my blood. I would give! I would give Christine everything._

"_I'll stay." I said. "But could you tell the doctor something?"_

_She nodded._

"_Tell the doctor that Mister E said not to hesitate on asking him for anything."_

"_Ok."_

_I grabbed her shoulder before she could walk away, and made close eye contact with her just to let her know that I was being serious._

"_Anything. I mean it. If he needs blood, money, information….Anything."_

"_Ok." she seemed a little frightened, but how else was she supposed to feel? I was a monster in everyone's eyes. _

_I paced the floor for a while more, keeping watch over the time. I wasn't sure how much longer I stood there alone, but when I heard my name being called, I looked over to see the doctor walking towards me. _

"_Mister E?"_

"_Yes? How is she?"_

_He braced my arm gently, and pulled me out of the ward._

"_Come, I want to speak with you in my office."_

_I was sick of wasting time! I wanted to know now! I wanted to know how Christine was doing! _

_Once we entered his office, the doctor shut the door, and offered me a cup of coffee._

"_I don't drink coffee."_

"_Tea perhaps?" he asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee._

"_No thank you. I just wish to know how Christine is doing."_

"_She should be alright. She's lost a lot of blood, and is very weak."_

"_What's wrong with her?" I asked._

_The doctor took a sip of his coffee, and eyed me._

"_How long has that been going on?"_

"_What?"_

"_Her pain?"_

_I ran my fingers through my hair, and tried to think._

"_Um….I've been ill for two weeks, and I was sure it was the stomach flu. It started off with vomiting and a few days ago her pain started. I thought it was normal, but tonight…..when the bleeding….God, what's wrong with her? Is it something I did?"_

"_We ran a few tests, and should have the results back in a few days. We took some blood, and urine samples from her."_

"_I can't take her home?"_

_The doctor shook his head._

"_No. It's best for her to stay in here until we find out what caused her bleeding. It's the best for her health."_

"_She'll be afraid." I argued._

"_I'm sure she'll be fine, and you'll be able to visit her any time you want."_

"_How about now?"_

"_The anesthesia is going to make her weak and woozy for a while, but she should be awake."_

"_Just make sure she receives the best medical care. What ever it costs, what ever the money….She must receive the best."_

"_And she will." the doctor promised._

_With that, I walked out of the office, and across the ward to where Christine's section was. It was draped off with a white privacy curtain, and I entered behind it to see Christine laying in a hospital bed. She was in a hospital gown, and hooked up to all sorts of needles. It broke my heart, but I knew it was for the best. _

"_Erik?"_

_Her eyes opened halfway, and her voice weakly spoke in a soft, calm tone. I leaned in, and pressed a kiss to her cold forehead before taking a seat at her bedside._

"_How do you feel?" I asked. "Are you warm enough?"_

"_I guess so. I don't feel so well though."_

"_Doctor said you're going to be ok."_

"_What's wrong with me?"_

_Her glassy eyes met with my own, and I knew I couldn't lie. I wanted to tell her what was wrong with her, but I didn't even know._

"_The doctor ran a few tests, but he won't know the results for a few days."_

_She cuddled into her pillow, and closed her eyes._

"_Can we go home?"_

"_Doctor says you need to stay here for a few days. They don't know what's wrong with you yet, and they don't want to risk sending you home just yet."_

"_Is it the stomach flu?"_

_How badly I wanted it to be the flu, but I knew it wasn't._

"_Let's hope so." _

"_Maybe it's food poisoning."_

_I covered Christine up with her blankets, and rubbed her hand._

"_You shouldn't tire yourself out, Christine."_

"_But what if it is?"_

"_It can't be. I ate everything you did. If it was food poisoning I would be laying right next to you."_

"_Maybe it's something else then, maybe it's…"_

"_Christine." I cooed. "Leave the diagnosing to the doctors."_

"_Stay with me?"_

"_Of course, I won't leave you."_

_When Christine closed her eyes again, I stood up and kissed her lips as she slept._

"_She's going to be asleep for a while." came a voice._

_I turned around to see a nurse standing there with a basin in her hands. _

"_How do you know?" I growled._

"_Because the second dose of anesthesia is setting in. She'll be asleep at least until the early afternoon. You should go home and rest, it's been a rough night."_

"_I won't leave her side."_

"_Then at least let us offer you a bed to rest in. I'll wake you the moment she wakes up."_

"_I want to be here when she wakes." I said. "I'll sleep in the chair."_

"_Like I said, she's going to be asleep at least until the early afternoon. I'll wake you in three hours if you'd like?"_

_Why? Why wouldn't this woman leave me be? Why was she so concerned about me? I was feeling a bit tired though, and it would be nice to lay down for a while. Finally, I agreed, and the nurse led me to a privacy drape that was a few rows over from Christine's. I removed my jacket, and laid down before covering myself with some of the blankets._

"_I'll wake you in a little bit." she promised, closing the drapes._

"_Thank you."_

_I wasn't sure what was wrong with Christine, but all I could hope for is that the results would come out fine, and we would soon be back at the flat… _

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! What happened to all my reviewers? Thanks again everyone!**


	25. Chapter 25

"_Lost in love is all I feel_

_Without you life just isn't real_

_To taste your lips against my own_

_Is all I need to make me moan._

_Your beauty is forever there_

_Beneath the flesh _

_Within your heart is care._

_Let me now forever be in your life_

_Erik, I ache to be your living wife…"- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. I had been taking care of Erik hand and foot because of his aching head. I wasn't sure why, but I had begun throwing up every single morning. I was sure it was the stomach flu, but when I began to feel pain, I knew it was something worse. I let it go thinking it was something I ate, but things were about to change. I awoke one night feeling wet and sticky, and I wasn't sure why. Not only that, but my stomach was in the worst agony possible. I called for Erik, oh, how I called for him. It didn't take long for him to pull back the covers and realize that I was bleeding. I was so afraid, so afraid that I was going to die, but Erik scooped me up into his arms, and carried me to the infirmary. I didn't want him to leave my side, but he did, and I couldn't do a thing about it. I was feeling so woozy, and soon, felt a needle prick my arm. _

_When I awoke the first time, Erik was sitting at my bedside. I tried to convince him that I had the stomach flu, but he wouldn't have any of it. I still felt woozy, and soon passed out once more. When I awoke this time, Erik was no where to be found, and the doctor was standing over me. _

"_How do you feel?" he calmly asked._

_How did I feel? I paused, still feeling a slight pain in my stomach. It wasn't as bad as before, but it was still unbearable. _

"_I'm in a little pain." I told him. "Where's Mister E?"_

_I sat up on my elbows, and looked around the little space around my bed hoping Erik was close by._

"_He's asleep. One of the nurses suggested that he lay down for a while until you wake. I'm glad, because I wanted to talk to you alone."_

"_Can I go home?"_

"_Not yet, we still want to keep a close eye on you, but your test results came back."_

"_So you know what's wrong with me?" I asked._

_He nodded, and paused, which made me unbearably anxious._

"_Christine, I must ask you something."_

_I could only imagine what was wrong with me, but I hoped it was the stomach flu and nothing more._

"_How long have you known?"_

"_About what?" _

_I wasn't sure what the doctor meant, but I could assure him that I had no idea there was something wrong with me. _

"_How long have you been throwing up?"_

_I sat back and thought about it. It couldn't have been more than a week._

"_A week ago. It was only in the morning, and afterwards I would feel fine."_

"_And have you been intimate with anyone?"_

_Where was this going? God! Had Erik hurt me in someway?_

"_Has Mister E hurt me in any way?" I gasped. "If that's what it is, he can never know, it will break his heart."_

"_Christine, you're pregnant."_

_Those words, those wonderful words brought tears to my eyes. I was pregnant! How could this be? I had been trying for a child the past ten years, and wasn't able to conceive once…..Then it hit me; it wasn't me….it was never me, it was Raoul! Raoul was the one who couldn't conceive, not me. Erik, my wonderful Erik had been able to impregnate me. I was crying tears of joy, pure wonderful tears of joy. I was going to have a child!_

"_Are you ok?" _

_The doctor pulled me out of my happiness, and I nodded._

"_Yes, I'm fine….is the baby ok?"_

"_Yes, the baby is fine. Though, I'd like to see you at least once a month until your child is born, just to make sure things are ok."_

"_Does he know? Have you told him?"_

_The doctor shook his head._

"_I haven't told him anything."_

"_Don't. I want to tell him."_

"_Tell me what?"_

_It was then that Erik appeared from behind the white privacy drape carrying a cup of tea._

_The doctor smiled, and turned to him._

"_I'll leave you two to your privacy."_

_When he left, Erik took a seat at my bedside, and ran his fingers through his disheveled wig. _

"_You're crying." he said. "Is everything ok?"_

_How was I going to tell Erik that he fathered a child with me? He would surely be upset if he knew….But maybe now he would let me stay with him. Maybe now he would let me stay with him forever. We could raise a family together and live happily ever after. _

"_Yes, everything is fine, I'm just happy."_

"_Happy about what? You're in the hospital, Christine."_

"_Erik, I need to tell you something, something I hope you can find to be a positive thing."_

"_Did I do something, Christine? Did I hurt you?"_

"_No, but my test results came back."_

_Erik anxiously leaned forward in his chair._

"_And?"_

"_I'm….Erik, I'm pregnant."_

_What ever color he had within his pale cheeks left the moment I told him. His mouth dropped slightly open, and he stood up from his seat. He instantly dropped to his knees, and pressed onto my hand._

"_Forgive me, Christine. Please forgive Erik for doing such a thing. This is all my fault….I would have never…."_

"_Erik? I'm happy. I've tried to have a baby for ten years, and Raoul blamed it not happening on me…. It's him, Erik, he couldn't give me a child, but you….Please say you're not upset?"_

"_Upset? How do you expect me not to be upset, Christine?" he growled. "I did something I shouldn't have done! I not only took you on more than one occasion, but now I impregnated you. I impregnated a married woman with my bastard child."_

_Erik was in tears now. He was sobbing into the sheets of my bed._

"_I…I have a plan…Yes…"_

_He stood up, and fixed the collar of his shirt._

"_You'll go back to Paris, and….and pull it off as Raoul's…."_

"_No!" I cried. "I won't do that."_

"_I'll send checks. I'll give you all that I have…..Raoul never has to know what happened between us."_

_This was turning out to be even worse than I thought. Erik not only wanted me to go back to Raoul, but he wanted me to act as if nothing ever happened between us and Raoul was my child's father. No! I wanted this child, and I wanted Erik to be its father! _

_Erik's back was turned towards me, and I could still hear him crying. _

"_Don't you ever stop and think about what the future could be for you, Erik?" I coldly asked. _

"_You told me you couldn't conceive children!" Erik cried. "And like a fool I took you thinking everything would be fine."_

"_I didn't know it was Raoul, Erik. Please don't blame this on me!"_

"_I'm not. It's not your fault, it's mine."_

"_It tis no one's fault. Do you hear me, no ones. We both made love, and out of love a child was created. I want this child, Erik, please say you want it too."_

"_You don't know what you're asking for."_

_I grabbed Erik's hands, and embraced them close to my heart._

"_Yes, I do, Erik. Please let us work things out."_

"_How, Christine? How are we to work things out? What? You send the child here on weekends and let Raoul know what happened between us? Do you wish for him to know that you had me? You're married!"_

"_I don't want to be! Not anymore, not to Raoul."_

"_That's a shame." _

"_I'm having your baby. Doesn't that mean a thing to you, Erik? You're going to have a child, one who can be a heir to you, one that can take over Phantasma."_

"_What? One to relive the life I lived? One that would be tormented among people? You're bearing a monster, Christine. A monster! Do you hear me!"_

_When Erik stormed away I felt a thousand shards of glass tear my heart open. I didn't know where he went, but he didn't return for the remainder of the night, nor did he come to take me home the following morning. When I returned to the flat, Erik was no where to be found. I was told to stay in bed for a few days, and so I crawled right into it, not caring one bit about what Erik said. I was pregnant, and I was happy. It had taken me ten years for this to happen, and I wasn't giving it up for anything in the world. But when I thought about Erik, and his attitude towards this child, I cried. _

_He wanted to pass this child off as Raoul's. He didn't even care that he helped create this child…checks and money meant nothing to me! I wanted him to be there for this child just as much as I was going to be there for it. A little while later, I heard the door open, and footsteps enter. _

_I laid there silently crying within the comfort of my blankets, listening to the sound of Erik walking around. At one point, Skimbleshanks jumped up in my lap, and cuddled beside me. _

"_You're mad at me?"_

_I heard Erik's voice from the doorway, but I didn't dare look at him with my tear soaked eyes. _

"_Christine, you know that my temper gets the best of me sometimes."_

_His voice was calm and soothing, but I didn't look over at him. I had a right to be mad. _

"_I will make things better, Christine. I will find you a way out of this if it's the last thing I do."_

"_By passing your own flesh and blood off as Raoul's?" I cried. "By making me go back to Paris and live with a man who beats me for entertainment?"_

"_Christine…"_

"_No, Erik, no! By sending me back to Raoul is doing nothing but signing my death certificate. Is that what you want, Erik? For your child to be beaten by a man who isn't even his father? To put your child in the arms of harm's way?"_

_I finally found the courage to look at him, only to see him standing in the doorway with a small stuffed monkey in his hands. _

"_What is that?"_

_Erik looked down at the stuffed animal, and then back at me. He approached me, and placed it in my hands._

"_Erik's temper is terrible at times, Christine. He even says things that he doesn't mean. You're married, Christine, and these things shouldn't happen to married women."_

"_You're not happy about this child, Erik, I can see it in your eyes."_

"_I'll be there for you, Christine, I promise."_

"_That's it?"_

"_Don't anger me, Christine."_

"_No! You think by coming in here and giving me a stuffed toy will calm me down. No, it won't, Erik! I love you! Do you understand that? I fucking love you…."_

_Erik didn't say a word, and kept his gaze down at his feet._

"_So did I….once."_

"_Erik…."_

"_No, Christine, do you know what they did to me? I thought you would have loved me back in Pairs, I thought we would have started a life together, get married…..I would have been satisfied with just that, Christine! I wouldn't have touched you, never! But no, you left me, you left me with the Mob! They almost killed me, and yet, I was shipped here to live alone! I cried every night, Christine! Every single night, hoping you would return. As much as I try to forget what you did to me long ago, I can't get it out of my head."_

_I sobbed into my hands, and pounded the pillows on my bed. Why? Why didn't I stay with him long ago?_

_Erik sat down, and took my left hand into his own._

"_Do you see this, Christine?" he fingered my gold wedding band. "This is a reminder of the marriage that should have been mine. You say you love me, and yet you still wear his ring."_

_I couldn't take it anymore! I tore off the wedding band I hadn't removed since it was placed on my finger ten years ago, and threw it across the room._

"_There! It's gone! I don't love him any longer, Erik, I love you and only you."_

"_No, don't lie to yourself."_

_I wasn't lying. I had to do something, something that would truly make Erik change his mind. And then it came to me._

"_I love you, Erik." I reached out for his mask, and tore it away. His face was horribly disfigured, but as I stared and didn't turn away, I knew my love for him was true._

"_Body and soul…."_

_And then I kissed him. I kissed him all over the disfigurement on his face. Months ago I would have never done such a thing, but as I was doing it now, it didn't bother me at all. It felt like rough sandpaper against my lips, but it wasn't revolting after all. _

_He cried, oh, how he cried as my lips traced over his marred flesh. _

"_You're….you're not screaming." he cried._

"_No, I love you, Erik….No more screams. Not now and not ever….not anymore."_

_He took my hand into his own, and placed it against his chest. His heart beat wildly against the palm of my hand, and I looked him in his mismatched eyes. _

"_I love you, Erik."_

_It was then that Erik laid me down, and began kissing me. Our tears mingled with one another's as our love flourished. _

"_I'm still nervous." he cooed._

"_About what."_

_I ran my fingers over the black hair of his wig, as he looked down at me with uncertainty._

"_Many things, including this child."_

"_Everything will be ok, Erik." I assured. _

"_I will think of something, Christine. We'll work things out one way or another."_

"_Does this mean you're not sending me back to Paris in the spring?"_

_Erik stood to his feet, and straightened his shirt._

"_We'll discuss what's best for you when the time comes. For now, I must get to work. It's nearly February and I have yet to prepare new posters for opening day of Phantasma."_

_I didn't like his answer, but now that he knew I loved him, perhaps he would find some love within his heart to forgive me._

"_You rest, mon ange, the baby needs it."_

_He covered me up, and walked out the room leaving me still holding the stuffed monkey. It was so cute, and I knew our child would love it. I sat it on the night table, and petted Skimbleshanks. For days neither Erik or myself discussed the child growing within me. It was as if it were happening, but we weren't bothering with it for the time being. Though, Erik had begun treating me differently. He didn't acknowledge the pregnancy, but made sure that I was eating, and kept me comfortable. He would work at his desk until the early hours of the morning, but in those hours before he would go to bed, he would check on me. Maybe he wasn't happy about this baby, but he certainly took great care of me. I stayed in bed like the doctor told me to, and when I finally felt strong enough to wander about, I decided to take a trip into town. Erik was busy at his workshop, but made me breakfast and kissed me goodbye, saying he would return to the flat at sun set. _

_I had been able to preoccupy myself with reading, but now that the snow had begun melting, I wanted to breathe in the fresh air. Figuring that it wouldn't hurt, I threw on my cloak, and headed outside. Everything was draped in red and pink, with heart shaped decorations lining the town bazaar. I didn't know the reason for this, and figured it was just the way Coney Island looked in February. _

"_Christine?"_

_I heard my name being called, only to turn and see Meg headed towards me carrying a few groceries._

"_Hi, Meg."_

"_It's been ages, Christine. Where have you been? I thought perhaps Erik found you a passage back to Paris."_

_I giggled, and began walking with her. _

"_No, I've been ill….it's a great sort of ill though."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You can't tell anyone, Meg, because it would have the press on Erik's back."_

_She smiled, excited to hear what I was about to say._

"_What?"_

"_I'm pregnant."_

_Meg's jaw dropped, and she pulled me away from the crowds to a boarded up abandoned shop._

"_What? Christine, don't tease."_

"_I'm not, it's true, Meg."_

"_Did you get rid of it?"_

_This angered me. My happy attitude suddenly changed into one filled with pure hostility._

"_Meg, how could you even think I would do such a thing?"_

_Meg rolled her eyes, and gave me this "What are you an idiot" look._

"_Um because he's hideous. Do you want your child coming out looking like he does? That's enough to scare anyone away."_

"_Meg, it's a possibility that our child could come out looking like Erik, but even if it did, I wouldn't hate our baby."_

"_How did he take the news?"_

"_I wish I could say he was happy about it, but he's not. He's been taking a great amount of care of for me and this child. It's strange…."_

"_What?"_

"_It's like he's taken care of a pregnant woman before. He knows everything from what foods are good for me to eat, down to how much I'm supposed to be eating."_

"_A lot." Meg laughed. _

"_Meg, I'm being serious."_

"_Well Christ, Christine, all the man does is read. He knows everything about everything. It annoyed the living hell out of me when I was taking care of him after his injury. I would water his plants, and he would sit in his bed and criticize me and tell me that I was doing it wrong. I mean, how hard is it to water plants? And yet, he swore on his life that I was doing it wrong."_

_I giggled._

"_That defiantly sounds like Erik."_

"_Don't even get me started on meals. God, when I had to cook for that man all he did was complain as I cooked it. I was either adding too much sugar, or stirring the vegetables too long. I was never so happy to leave his flat and get out on my own. I don't know how you tolerate such nonsense, Christine."_

"_He's not so bad once you get to know him."_

"_I find that hard to believe."_

"_I love him, Meg. There was a time I wasn't so sure if I did, but I can look in his eyes and not turn away. He's so…so beautiful, Meg."_

"_Why are you getting yourself so excited over him, Christine? You're married, remember? Where is your ring?"_

_I looked down at my bare finger, and hid my hand behind my back._

"_I…I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_You took off Raoul's ring, didn't you?"_

_She pulled my hand with her own, and looked at my ringless finger._

"_Christine, you did!"_

"_It was upsetting Erik." I replied, pulling my hand out of her grip._

_She laughed._

"_Oh, right….it was reminding him that you're married."_

"_It wasn't right to keep wearing a ring for someone I no longer loved. I'm going to figure out a way to get out of my marriage with Raoul, and marry Erik."_

"_Good luck with that, Christine. I believe it's going to be very hard, especially when Raoul isn't willing to let things be as they are. And this pregnancy with Erik is only going to make things worse. You don't want to see him get hurt, and yet, when Raoul finds out who the father of that child is, he's going to do more than hurt him…"_

"_He's not going to find out, ok. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep things as they are. I have until spring, right? Just leave things as they are until I need to do otherwise."_

"_That's fine. Hey, I have to get going, I still need to get Roberto something for Valentine's day."_

"_Valen what?"_

"_Valentine's day. It's only a few days away, Christine."_

"_What is that?"_

"_Don't you and Raoul ever celebrate it? It's a day of love, Christine. That's why everything in town is heart shaped or pink and red."_

_I shook my head. Meg groaned, and pulled me back into the crowds of people._

"_Must I teach you everything? Valentine's day in America is a day when lovers celebrate their love by giving each other gifts and spending time together."_

"_What kind of gifts?"_

"_Oh, small things like….chocolate for men, and flowers and jewelry for women. Roberto booked us a reservation at Coney Island's finest restaurant, and then he's taking me to the Statue of Liberty. It's going to be great….I bought him a box of his favorite chocolates, and I'm going to make love to…."_

"_Enough, Meg, leave out the details."_

"_Sorry. Oh, but I wouldn't celebrate it with Erik."_

"_Why?"_

"_He despises Valentine's day among all holidays. One year, Dr. Gangle tried to decorate Phantasma in red heart shaped decorations and hold a dance for all the employees….Only when Erik found out, he stormed straight into the Phantasma hall and tore it apart. He was the only one without someone to celebrate it with and the agony of being alone was too much for him to bear."_

"_That's horrible."_

"_Yes, it was. Some of the employees still fear him. Well, I have to get going." _

_With that, she left me. Valentine's day? I never heard of such a holiday, but it sounded wonderful. When I returned home, Erik was sitting at his desk working on some sort of drawing._

"_You're back early." I happily chanted._

"_Where have you been?"_

_He sounded so angry, angrier than I had ever seen before._

"_I…I was in town. I wanted to get some fresh air."_

"_You have a lot of nerve, Christine!" he turned, and stood up, his height over powering my own. "You could have been hurt! How dare you walk out of here in your condition without even telling me you were going to do so!"_

"_I'm sorry, Erik."_

"_What if something happened to you? Your child is the most important thing, Christine!" he turned back towards his desk, and sighed. "You could have at least told me where you were going."_

_He was calmer now, and I knew his rain of terror was over._

"_I'm sorry, Erik, really I am."_

"_I know."_

"_I'll tell you next time."_

"_Yes. Now go relax….I'll….I'll make you something for lunch."_

"_I love you, Erik."_

_He turned, and a small smile formed on his lips._

"_I'll make lunch, Christine."_

_It broke my heart not to hear him say the same words I had said to him, but I knew he was still hurting inside because of my pregnancy. If there was anything I was going to do, it was to get Erik excited about this child. He was going to be a father, the Phantom of the Opera was going to be a father to my child, and I too wanted him to be happy about it. _

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Thanks! Love you all!**


	26. Chapter 26

"_Letting go was the hardest of all_

_To see you walk to see you fall_

_On your own is the only way_

_To be with you night and day_

_Without the harm of cruel mankind_

_Each night I promise to come and find_

_My angel who is only mine"- _Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_I don't know how it happened, but I woke tied to the bars of a cage. The smell of damp feces covered hay filled the air….I was naked, and freezing cold. I pulled at the bars to try and get them loose from the ropes that bound my hands and arms, but it was no use. The atmosphere was in complete fog, making it nearly impossible to see anything that was around me. I was so cold….so cold that my body shook and trembled in a pneumonia filled fit._

_"Erik!"_

_It was Christine! Her voice sounded so far away….so far from me. I looked all around my fog filled cage, thinking she were close by. I tried to call out to her, but my voice was so sore. Why was it sore? I tried, oh, how I tried to call, but whenever I opened my mouth nothing came out._

_"Erik!" she was screaming for me. She sounded as if she were in a lot of pain. "Erik, answer me!"_

_But I couldn't. Instead, I banged my feet up against the bars of my cage to make some sort of noise to let her know I was here. Suddenly, out of no where, she appeared, and reached her arm inside the cage to try an touch me. I reached my hand for hers, but the ropes held me back. My angel was dressed in rags, and looked heavily pregnant. Why? Why was she dressed in such attire?_

_"Erik, help me!"_

_I pulled at the ropes, trying to reach her hand, but I couldn't. She then fell back, and landed on the ground, clenching at her stomach. I could see so much blood seeping from her as I continued to reach for her. I heard a loud laughing, only to see Raoul appearing from the fog. He had a knife in his hand, and rattled it against the bars of my cage._

_"Look at you…" he cringed. "Hideous as always. You murdered Christine's beauty…."_

_I felt a hot agonizing pain shoot through my stomach, only to look down and see his knife jabbed deep into my flesh._

_"Look at you!"_

_My blood was seeping onto the hay, as Raoul pulled out his blade and went for Christine._

_"You murdered Christine's beauty! You implanted your hideous seed inside of her! And now I'm going to take it out!"_

_I watched in horror as Raoul cut my angel's stomach open with his knife, and pull out my child. It was hideous….a miniature version of myself. Raoul held it up by it's feet, and began stabbing me as my angel lay bleeding on the ground. I screamed, finally being able to find my voice! I screamed over and over again in agony…._

_"Erik! Erik, wake up!"_

_I jolted awake, covered in sweat and my shirt torn halfway off me. I was on the floor heaving, and sobbing, feeling all over my chest for the wounds Raoul had inflicted on me, but nothing was there, I was ok._

_Christine was standing over me in her night gown, helping me to sit up._

_"Shhhh it's ok, Erik."_

_I took a deep breath, and continued feeling around my chest just incase I was really injured._

_"You were having a bad dream."_

_I was back in my flat, the fire place was lit and sending warmth through my body. I don't remember what I was doing right before I fell asleep, but from the looks of the mess on my desk, I must have been working on my posters for Phantasma and fell asleep._

_Christine disappeared for the slightest of seconds, bringing me back a clean shirt, and a glass of water. I wasn't sure what the time was, but when I heard the grandfather clock chime in the hour of midnight, I cursed myself for waking Christine. She was carrying my child for Christ sakes and I disturbed her sleep with some disgusting dream of Raoul…._

_As I drank the water, Christine pulled off the remains of my shirt and replaced it with the new one she had pulled out of my wardrobe closet._

_"I'm sorry for waking you." I said, placing the empty glass aside._

_Christine smiled, and embraced my marred face with her warm hand. Ever since she had pulled off my mask a few days ago and told me she loved me, I found comfort and relief from not having to wear my mask in her presence. Before she came to Coney Island I would wear my mask out around Phantasma, and take it off when in the confinements of my flat. It had been months since I had been able to do such a thing, and it felt…..amazing. How could she not fear my face? My own mother couldn't even look on me and love. This woman was simply perfect in everyway, and being able to walk around my flat maskless is a gift sent from heaven._

_"You didn't wake me, Erik. I was just laying there in bed."_

_She helped me to my feet, and held onto me as we entered our bedroom. Which I was glad, because I had removed my leg braces to massage my legs just a few hours earlier, and walking on my own would have been simply impossible. After Christine had told me she was carrying my child, I had rearranged our room one afternoon….Wait, our room? Since when did I start calling my room "our room?" It was strange having her living with me, carrying my child and she wasn't even married to me. The whole situation was wrong, and if word ever got out to the press, my summer would be filled with the worst havoc imaginable. Anyway, when I found out about her condition, I had rearranged my room around. The small bed she had been sleeping in would soon be too small, so for the time being I moved our beds together to give her more space, and placed them closer to the bathroom so she wouldn't have to walk across the room incase she needed to use it._

_Yes, I had never cared for a pregnant woman before, but years ago I had been curious about such a subject when I lived back in Persia, and read up on how to do so. Book after book, I filled my mind with the knowledge needed to care for a pregnant woman. I learned everything from what foods to feed them, how much they should eat a day, and the basic information about the growth of a child from fetus until the moment of birth. I might not be happy over this whole pregnancy, but Christine was going to receive the best care possible. I was going to make sure she was comfortable up until it was time for her to give birth to my monstrous seed._

_The only problem with me moving our beds together, was that I would have to lay with her. Not that it was a major problem or anything, it was just that after this whole pregnancy situation, I was afraid to touch her. Her carrying my child had changed our whole relationship from what it was down to nothing more than a strong friendship. I had ruined her. Christine, the most beautiful woman in the world had laid with me, and now, because of my weak lustful act, she was carrying a monster._

_My mother nearly died giving birth to me….what if Christine died giving birth to her child? I would never forgive myself if that happened. I still to this day curse myself for the agony I had caused my mother by bringing me into the world….It wasn't that I didn't love my mother, because deep within my heart, I did. Yes, she might have loathed me, yes she might have beaten me and hated me, but she was still my mother. Just the thought of being left alone with a hideous child sent aches into my heart. A baby? I had no idea what to do with such a thing, or how to care for it on my own. I had never been a loving and understanding person. Christ, the only child I ever had contact with was a boy named "Reza" when I lived back in Persia, and in the end I had been the cause of his death. It pained me greatly, but he was suffering from illness._

_"Erik, would you lay with me?"_

_I looked over at Christine as I changed into the rest of my night clothes from behind the privacy screen I had over by the wardrobe closet. Christine always changed in front of me without a care, but I still found the need for privacy. Most nights I would avoid laying with her by working at my desk and falling asleep there, but I missed it….probably just as much as she did. After removing my wig, I came out from behind the screen and placed a small candle on the night table. I then crawled into bed with her, but kept my distance away from her body._

_"Erik, what were you dreaming about?"_

_I laid my head down on my pillow, and faced her, my handsome side staring her in the eyes._

_"Nothing you need to hear about, Christine. It was horrible, and you do not need to hear such things."_

_"Was it about the gypsies raping you again?"_

_"Christine…" I raised my voice just a bit to warn her to drop the subject, and she did._

_"I worry about you, Erik."_

_"You shouldn't. If anything, you should be worried about yourself and about the monster you're carrying."_

_"Don't call our child a monster, Erik." she yelled. "I don't call you a monster, and you won't call our child one either."_

_"You should, because that's what I am." I growled._

_I turned over, and closed my eyes, but Christine forced me to face her once again. She calmed herself down enough to run her hand over my monstrous face, and whisper ever so softly into my ear._

_"Erik, you're beautiful in every way. I love you so much, and I wish….I wish you could love me too."_

_My heart melted at the sound of her voice. I gently rolled over on her, and ran my fingers through her curly hair._

_"I do love you, Christine, so much that it hurts. I could never go on living knowing this child has hurt you."_

_"Erik, I feel fine."_

_"There's so much stuff that leaves me on edge about this….this…."_

_"Erik, what's wrong?" she caressed my face with her hand ever so lovingly. "Tell me everything."_

_I closed my eyes, and pressed her hand closer against my face._

_"So many things, Christine. If this child even lives, what if it hates me? What if….what if I scare it?"_

_"Erik, don't think like that."_

_"You're still married to Raoul, Christine. If the press were to find out about this, I could be ruined."_

_"We'll think of something, Erik. I just need something from you, I want you to promise me something."_

_"What?"_

_"That no matter what happens, you'll let me stay here with you. I don't want you to be away from our child, and I don't want to be away from you."_

_I put my head down on her chest. Things couldn't be this way! If I were discovered, I'd be ruined for life! I would be ridiculed, and called horrible things for making love to a married woman and impregnating her. Adultery is highly frowned upon in America… I've seen the way people treat an adulterer in town…. They get called horrible names, people talk behind their backs, and the woman….Oh, god, it's even ten times worse for them. If my angel was ever talked about in such a way, I would kill….I would kill who ever spoke an ill word of her. I'd be thrown in jail, lose everything I worked ten years for…No! this couldn't happen. If Christine wanted to stay on Coney Island, she couldn't stay with me. For I knew, as soon as her pregnant stomach would begin showing, so would the talk._

_"Christine, we must….we must discuss something."_

_"Anything."_

_I looked back up at her, and pressed a kiss to her lips._

_"I can promise you what you want, but things must drastically change between us."_

_"You don't love me?"_

_"No….I didn't say that, I do love you. Ever since you've looked at my face and told me you loved me…..Oh, Christine, I can no longer deny my undying love for you, but if you wish to stay here, things must change."_

_"Why?"_

_"Why? Why? Because as soon as your pregnancy starts to show, so will the talk around town. You're a married woman, Christine and it would break my heart to see you taunted and verbally abused by the town's people because of something I did."_

_"Erik, don't talk like that, it's not your doing, it's the both of us who…"_

_"It does not and will not matter to them. Adultery is highly frowned upon over here in America. I've seen up close what the town's people do to women who dishonor their marriage. It's a horrible thing, Christine, extremely horrible. It would break my heart to see you treated like that….I would kill again, and I don't wish for you to bear the child of a killer."_

_My hands trembled against her cheeks as I took a breath to continue._

_"The situation would also be very bad for my reputation as owner of Phantasma. Reporters already say enough horrible things about me and my "Mysterious Face that I so wish to hide behind the confinements of a mask." They spread rumors that I was in the war and had my face blown off, sometimes they say one of my ex's had thrown acid on me because I broke off a relationship with them. If they knew what I did to you, the rumors and horrible stories would never stop being published. It's bad for both of us, Christine."_

_"Be as it may, Erik, but I don't wish to go back to Paris."_

_"I understand, and there is a way for you to stay here, but it's not going to be pleasant. Our relationship will be put on strainful levels, Christine. I may not be able to see you as often as I do, but it's the only way until we could perhaps talk it over with your….boy."_

_"What are you saying?"_

_Christine seemed so worried, and I'd be lying if I told her I wasn't nervous too._

_"You can't live with me anymore…"_

_It was like a bullet to my heart. My whole world shattered beneath me as I spoke of such horrible things. She had been living with me the past few months, and it would be strange seeing her go, but it was the only way._

_"What?" she had tears in her eyes, I could see them rushing to them. "You're sending me back to Paris?"_

_"No, I'm not….I'm going to get you a place in Phantasma. It's going to be on the other side of the park, just enough distance away so people won't suspect anything between us. I'll pay for everything, and give you money to buy food and everything else."_

_I reached over on the night table for her wedding ring; the exact one she had thrown across the room the other day when she told me she loved me. I slipped the band back on her finger, and pressed a kiss to her hand._

_"No, Erik, don't place that back on my finger…."_

_"You must wear that at all times."_

_Seeing that ring made my anger burn within me, for I knew what that ring meant. It was a symbol of her love for Raoul, but she had to wear it!_

_"People will suspect horrible things if they see a pregnant woman without a wedding ring. If people should happen to ask you about your husband, you tell them that he's in Europe fighting in the war."_

_"Erik, what about you? What about when this child is born?"_

_It pained me even more to say the next line._

_"I'll….I'll be there for you, Christine, but…..if nothing happens over your marriage to Raoul, I'll…I'll be known nothing more than as an uncle to this child until we can figure something else out."_

_Christine was crying now. I had caused her to cry. But what else could I say? What else could I do? This was the only way to keep both our names out of harms way, and Christine knew this, for she didn't argue._

_"You can't use your surname either. Too many people know the DeChagney name."_

_"Then what am I to say when people ask for my surname?"_

_"You can use my own. No body in Coney Island besides Meg knows my first name. No body knows my surname….I even forget it at times."_

_"What is it?"_

_"You will call yourself Christina Mulheim."_

_Christine smiled, and wiped her tears away._

_"Your name is Erik Mulheim?"_

_I nodded._

_"You like it?" I questioned. "If you don't, you don't have to use it, I can think of something else."_

_"I love it, Erik, it's so beautiful."_

_My heart stopped beating the moment she said my surname was beautiful. No one had ever said such a thing before._

_"Really?"_

_She nodded._

_"Yes, and with my name being Mulheim, I'll be able to name the baby after it."_

_"I'll come visit you as much as I can, Christine, but I have to do it in the early morning before the sunrises and in the dead of night when it's deserted."_

_"That means you'll spend every night with me?" she asked._

_"If that would make you happy, then yes, I will do that."_

_"Then I will follow you where ever you lead, Erik. I trust you with my life."_

_The situation broke my heart, but this was indeed the only way to keep us out of harm and the press. The following morning, I got up before the sun came up, and packed a few of Christine's things into a box. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I kept in mind that she was only moving across the park, and not across the country. I packed her clothes, her shoes, her jewelry and everything I could think of that belonged to her. After throwing on my cloak, I grabbed my set of keys for Phantasma and headed to the building I was going to set her up in. All across Phantasma I had housing for all my employees, but at the end of the park near the beach, there was a special building I always kept abandoned and locked up. It was a tall brick building on top of one of the shops that sold beach blankets and beach toys. I took the spiral staircase on the other side of the building up to the door, and opened it. It was just as I had left it; empty. This had been my first idea for my home, but decided not to live here because it was big enough to hold an entire family. Not that it was the reason why I decided not to live here….No, I turned down the idea when I spent my first night here. All I could think about all night was the thought of Christine living here with me, and waking up to the beautiful window view of the ocean…..When I woke the next morning, I knew it wouldn't be healthy for me to live here, and locked it up before going off to find other arrangements. That was ten years ago, and this was my first time back….. I even left all the furniture I had put in it on my first night's stay._

_I pulled back the curtain that was covering the window, and looked out at the ocean crashing against the dark shore. This would be a perfect place for Christine to raise her child…..With the little amount of light I had shining in through the window, I pulled some clean sheets from the wardrobe closet, and made up the bed. Afterwards, I hung up her clothes, and placed her belongings around the room before standing back to have a look at it. It still didn't seem as homey as my flat, but I knew with a few paintings or pictures hanging about, it would feel that way in no time. Plus, she wouldn't be alone all the time because she would have Skimbleshanks to keep her company._

_Once I was finished with everything, I headed back to the flat to wake Christine and take her to her new home…. She was already awake, and brushing her hair in the mirror. She didn't seem happy, but didn't argue with me._

_"Are you ready to go?" I nervously asked her from the doorway of the bathroom._

_She turned to me, and tried to smile._

_"I guess so."_

_I placed her cloak over her shoulders, and placed Skimbleshanks in her arms. She circled the flat one last time, taking in an image to remember it by before following me outside._

_"I did fix the place up, Christine. I do hope you'll find it just as homey as the flat was."_

_"I'm sure it will be….it just won't be the same."_

_"How so?"_

_"Everything smelled like you." she said, smiling at me. "The sheets, the air, even my dresses."_

_This made my heart skip a beat. I never thought Christine would enjoy my scent. Yes, it was only a cheap musky cologne, but just having her associate it with me was….heavenly._

_"I'm sure everything in the new place will smell of me eventually. I'll be sure to come over as much as possible."_

_"I know you will."_

_When we reached the beach shop, Christine looked up at the tall building, and then back towards the way we just came, stretching her neck to see if she could spot the flat from where she stood._

_"See, Christine, it's not that far from me."_

_"It feels like a hundred miles."_

_I smiled, having something in mind that would cheer her up._

_"Come along, I want to show you something."_

_I escorted her up the staircase, and opened the door of her new home before turning on the lights. She stood there in the doorway, looking at the lonely empty flat…._

_"It's very big." she said. "Bigger than your flat, and it's just me…."_

_"You make that seem like it's a bad thing." I teased. "And you're not alone. Skimbleshanks makes two and baby makes three. With me visiting all the time, it'll be three and a half…."_

_Christine giggled, and stepped inside to place Skimbleshanks down._

_"I do like it, I guess."_

_I placed a few logs in the fire place, and started a fire for her._

_"This will keep you warm, and you'll soon have a kitchen full of food." I stood up and pointed to the huge window on the other side of the flat._

_"That will give you a view of the beach, and here…"_

_I took her by the arm, and led her to the window facing Phantasma._

_"When ever you're feeling lonely, Christine, look out this window."_

_I pointed to my flat, which was clearly visible from where we were standing._

_"Your flat!" she exclaimed. "I can see it."_

_"Yes, and when you look at it, just think about me coming to visit you."_

_"I will Erik."_

_I placed a kiss to her forehead, and grabbed my keys._

_"It's getting close to sunrise, I must go. I'll come by later with some groceries and I'll make us some dinner."_

_She smiled._

_"I'll be waiting."_

_And with that, I opened the door and looked back at her._

_"I love you, Christine."_

* * *

**_Ok, please review! I loved this chapter the most so far. More to come soon! Love you all!_**


	27. Chapter 27

_"What must I do to win your love?_

_Beg you _

_Plead you _

_Not to leave_

_I ache to see you happy on this Valentine's Eve"- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**_Christine's POV_**

_Being away from Erik was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I didn't argue when he told me I had to live on my own, because I knew he was right. If there was anything I wanted to prevent, it was rumors and cruelty going around about our relationship. The flat Erik had moved me to was big enough to house an entire family, but he insisted that I'd be fine. When he left, I felt so lonely. The flat was completely silent, except for the crackling of the fire Erik had built me before he left. The first day there alone was the longest one. I occupied myself by playing with Skimbleshanks, but even he grew tired of rolling around with the ball of yarn I was teasing him with, and curled up on a pillow by the fire._

_For a while, I sat by the window, looking towards Erik's flat wondering when daylight was going to end. I had nothing to do, and if I was to spend the rest of my life in this room alone, I was surely going to go insane. And then out of my boredom came the thought of Valentine's day. It was two days away, and I hadn't even thought about what to do for Erik. What ever it was, I was going to have to do it after dark….Maybe I could make us dinner and surprise him. Maybe I could even buy him something small. What ever I was going to plan, I would get everything together in the morning. I haven't been outside in a while, and knew the fresh air would do me good._

_That evening, when it grew dark, I sat anxiously in the chair that was placed by the fire awaiting Erik's arrival. It was when I began to drift off to sleep, that I heard the door opening, only to look over and see Erik walking in with a bag of groceries in his hand. I immediately jumped up out of my seat, and offered to help him._

_"Here, let me take that." I said reaching out my arms._

_"It's alright, Christine, I have it."_

_He placed the bag on the kitchen counter, and came over to embrace me._

_"I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long." he replied, sinking his face into my hair._

_"It felt like a million years."_

_"Well then, lets get some dinner and some nourishment to our child. Then, we'll talk."_

_I smiled as Erik let go of me and began unpacking the groceries._

_"Let me make dinner." I suggested. "I'm sure you've been working all day."_

_"Nonsense, Christine, let me cook for you. Just you relax and let me do it."_

_I knew arguing with him would do me no good, and so I took a seat by the fire and waited for him to return. A few moments later, Erik lifted me into his lap and sat down in my chair. I giggled, and swung my legs over his lap, cuddling into his chest._

_"You started dinner that fast?" I questioned._

_"Yes, I told you it wasn't a problem. Now tell me how your day was."_

_"Nothing exciting, I just sat here waiting for you. I think I might go into town tomorrow. How was your day?"_

_"Work, work, work. I think I'm going to go to bed a lot earlier than I usually do. My legs are really aching up a storm tonight."_

_I lifted my head off of his chest, and pulled away his mask._

_"Erik, it's the stairs."_

_"I know that."_

_I sunk off of his lap, and sat myself on the floor. I then unlatched his leg braces and placed them aside before running my fingers up and down his pant legs._

_"Later I'll massage your legs for you."_

_"Erik would love that."_

_"So what's for dinner, Erik?"_

_"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?"_

_I giggled, and stood to my feet._

_"I guess I'll have to spoil the surprise for myself."_

_I began heading towards the kitchen when Erik got up and headed towards me. I lifted the lid of the pot that was on the stove, and Erik playfully grabbed my hand._

_"Why would you want to spoil the surprise for yourself?"_

_"Meatloaf, Erik?"_

_"Damn you woman…" he cooed. "You're such a spoiler."_

_"What are you going to do about it?"_

_Erik pressed his lips up against my neck, and traced his kisses down to my shoulder._

_"Is your lesson learned yet, Christine?"_

_I closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than for his lips to do this all night._

_"No, I still think I need more."_

_"More?"_

_His lips were now over mine, kissing me ever so passionately as our dinner boiled in the background._

_"Erik, our dinner."_

_Erik went for the stove, and turned it off._

_"Dinner is served, mon ange."_

_Having Erik here meant the world to me. We ate dinner in silence, enjoying our meal, and afterwards we cleaned up together before retiring to the bedroom. As I changed behind the privacy drape, I threw on my nightgown and came out to see Erik standing over my bed._

_"When you fall asleep, Christine, I have to get going."_

_This broke my heart. I didn't want Erik to leave, he just got here._

_"Don't leave." I begged. "Please, Erik."_

_I rushed to him, and he embraced my body._

_"Christine, all good things must come to an end."_

_"You said sunrise, Erik. Please stay until tomorrow."_

_"I haven't any pajamas, Christine, they're all back in my flat."_

_"Erik, you can sleep in your shirt and skivvies for all I care, just please stay with me."_

_Finally, Erik agreed, and began undressing while I crawled into the queen sized bed. A few moments later, Erik crawled in beside me wearing nothing but his white shirt and under shorts._

_"Here, Erik, let me massage your legs."_

_He didn't argue, and I ran my hands over his twisted legs, as he relaxed against the pillows._

_"What were you working on today?" I asked, ending our awkward silence._

_"Many things, mostly posters for Phantasma and a few new songs for the carousel. I did a lot of walking today which is why my legs are acting up."_

_"You should rest them, Erik. It's not good for you to be walking around when they ache you."_

_"That's not the only thing that's aching me." he cringed, placing his hand over his exposed skull. "I've had a pounding headache since five o clock."_

_"Have you taken anything for it?"_

_"Yes, I just need my rest is all."_

_Erik pressed his head against the pillow, and groaned._

_"Here it comes again."_

_"Maybe I'm massaging the wrong appendage." I teased, plopping down beside him and running my fingers over his exposed skull._

_"Better?"_

_"Yes, thank you."_

_"What are you doing tomorrow?"_

_Erik closed his eyes, and sighed._

_"Probably working."_

_"I'm going into town. I was thinking we could perhaps meet for lunch. That be nice, wouldn't it?"_

_"As nice as you think it would be, it can't happen."_

_He rolled over, and pressed me against the mattress. He had my full attention, and I knew by staring into his blue eyes that I had angered him._

_"We can never be seen together in public, Christine. Our relationship must be kept a secret and out of the eyes of the city. It's not proper for a married woman to be seeing a man without her chaperone. Your pregnancy will start to show soon enough, and if we start seeing each other in daylight, people will begin to suspect otherwise. Do you understand? We will continue our relationship as it is; in darkness."_

_"I hate it, Erik."_

_"I don't like it any better, Christine, but for the time being things must stay this way."_

_I snuggled into Erik's chest, and inhaled the wonderful scent streaming from his body._

_"Then let daylight never come."_

_Erik wrapped his arms around me as sleep began to take over, and kissed my forehead._

_"Just sleep now, Christine. The child needs rest just as much as you do."_

_It was a wonderful feeling having Erik's arms wrapped around me as I slept. They were so warm and wonderful that I slept perfectly throughout the night. Only when I woke the following morning, I was no longer within his embrace. No, there beside me was an empty spot with Skimbleshanks curled up on Erik's pillow. I had wanted to go into town and get something special for Erik for valentine's day, but I couldn't move. My stomach felt sick, and my head weighed a million tons. Instead, I plopped back against my pillows, and petted Skimbleshanks. I never knew being pregnant would make me feel so exhausted, but it did….I was worn out._

_For a while, I tried to close my eyes and fall back asleep, but a knock occurred at the door, and moments later Meg came strolling in._

_"Christine? Why are all the lights turned off? It's daytime."_

_How did she know that I lived here? And why was she here? When she came into the bedroom and seen me laying in bed, she turned on the light causing my eyes to burn in agitation._

_"Turn them off, Meg." I groaned._

_"Why are you in bed?"_

_"Because I'm sick. How did you know where I was?"_

_Meg came strolling over to my bed, and fixed the blankets that were disheveled all about._

_"Erik told me. He felt sorry about your boredom, and thought if I came over you would have something to do until he was finished working."_

_That was so kind of Erik to think of me like that, but I was sick, and in no condition to get out of bed._

_"You know Christine, you're going to feel like this for the next seven months. Believe me, pregnancy is filled with exhaustion and feeling icky."_

_"Like you would know."_

_"I'm just saying."_

_At that moment, I felt a strange sensation in my stomach, only to lean over and throw up into the chamber pot that was placed there. Meg, being the good friend that she was held back my hair so I wouldn't get it messy._

_"I wanted to go into town." I groaned. "Tomorrow is Valentine's day and I have nothing to give to Erik."_

_"Christine, how could you even think about going into town in your condition. I'm sure Erik won't mind at all that you couldn't get him anything. Besides, what are you going to get him? He pukes when he eats, and you got him a pocket watch for Christmas. You two might as well stay in bed and vomit together."_

_"That's not funny, Meg."_

_"But it's true."_

_"I just want to rest, Meg. But if you see Erik, could you let him know that I'm not feeling well?"_

_Meg covered me up, and nodded._

_"Of course, and I'll come check on you tomorrow. If you're feeling better, then perhaps we could go out for a while. I'm not meeting up with Roberto until the late afternoon."_

_I tried to smile._

_"Sounds wonderful."_

_"Get some rest, Christine."_

_The day before, I had believed it to be the longest day ever….I was wrong… Without Erik beside me to make me feel better, I was in a never ending day. The hours seemed to drag on forever, and my vomiting never ended. At one point, the chamber pot I had been using over flowed, leaving the floor surrounding by a complete mess. I felt ashamed…. Erik had given me a place to stay, and so far I had done nothing but make a complete mess of it. I laid there on my back, rubbing my stomach, trying to calm the growing child I had within me. Erik however, did not keep me waiting long today. The night before, he hadn't come until the street lights of Phantasma came on…Tonight, he had arrived just as the sun was setting over the beach._

_"Christine?" I heard the door open, and his voice immediately filled the flat._

_"In here." I weakly called out._

_Like a fox hunting a screaming rabbit, Erik was at my doorway within seconds of me calling for him. He turned on the lights, but kept them at a dim level so it wouldn't hurt my eyes._

_"Meg said you were sick. I would have come sooner….but….Oh, Christine forgive me."_

_He examined my body ten times over, before realizing the mess that was waiting for him on the floor beside my bed._

_"Christine, I should have come, I shouldn't have made you wait all day."_

_He staggered to the bathroom, and came back with a rag to clean up the messy floor._

_"No, Erik, it's fine. I feel horrible for making you clean that up."_

_"It's nothing you wouldn't do for me. Besides, it's my seed that's making you feel this way."_

_"Erik, it's not….and it's normal. Meg said…"_

_"Meg? You're going to trust Meg? Like she ever had a child before."_

_"Erik, don't act like this."_

_"Sorry." he looked up at me from the floor. "You know how much I loath her."_

_"I'm fine, Erik, just a little exhausted is all."_

_Erik finished sopping up the mess, and stood up._

_"I'll….I'll make you some toast and juice."_

_I laid there in silence, petting Skimbleshanks and waiting for Erik's return. I knew there was something wrong with him, but didn't want to upset him by sticking my nose where it didn't belong. I knew he wasn't happy about this child, but my will to get him excited about it wouldn't back down. Erik came back carrying a plate and a glass of red juice. He sat it down on the night table, and then took a seat beside me. He looked so exhausted, and he even removed his mask to rub his deformity with his hand._

_"Are you feeling alright?"_

_I sat up, and reached over for the glass of juice._

_"You're asking me if I'm alright?" he laughed. "I feel like a million bucks compared to you."_

_"You look tired, Erik."_

_He sighed, and handed me a piece of toast._

_"Christine, you must understand that when Phantasma opens I'm always going to look like this. I don't get as much rest in the spring and summer as I do in the winter. When the park opens, I'm mostly always working, especially at night. There will be times when I cannot see you as often as I wish, but I promise to try and see you every day."_

_"Erik, why can't you just tell the press about this? Why can't you tell them that I'm your niece and you're caring for me?"_

_"Christine, we can't do that."_

_"And why not?" I selfishly scoffed like a whiny child._

_"What's going to happen if your marriage is ever ended with Raoul? What then, Christine? If the press knows that you're my niece what horrible stories do you think will come out if this relationship you and I have turns to the romantic side? Oh, Christine, I know you're hurting inside from being away from me, and it hurts me just as much to be away from you. But I promise that things will work out."_

_I bit into my toast, and took a sip of my juice to wash it down._

_"What about our child?"_

_"I already discussed it with you, Christine. I will be there for our child, but if things stay the way they are, I must be known as an uncle."_

_"But…."_

_"Christine, I promise I will be in this child's life just as much as a father would. You can trust me, I would never neglect either of you."_

_"Will you be there for the birth as well? Oh, Erik, please say you will."_

_Erik looked down at his hands, and then back at me, his face looking anything but promising._

_"You're due in September, Christine. Phantasma is still open, and people are still out and about. I will get a doctor to come here and deliver our child."_

_"And you'll be here too?"_

_He paused before answering._

_"Yes, Christine, I will be here."_

_"Promise me, Erik."_

_"I promise to be here, Christine."_

_"No matter what time of the day it shall occur?"_

_Once more, Erik nodded._

_"No matter what time of the day it shall occur."_

_I was happy with his answer, and finished my dinner. Afterwards, Erik took away the dishes and came back to tuck me in._

_"Get your rest, Christine."_

_"Will you stay with me? Please don't leave, Erik."_

_"You're ill, Christine, you should have the bed to yourself. Besides, I must get back to my work. Phantasma is nearly two months away from opening, and I have yet to complete everything I want done."_

_"But, Erik…."_

_"Christine, I'll be back tomorrow night, but earlier, I promise."_

_"Earlier?" I questioned._

_"Yes, and we'll spend the entire night with one another."_

_"Really?"_

_He nodded, and kissed me on the lips._

_"Cross my heart, Christine."_

_"I love you, Erik."_

_Erik smiled, and placed his mask back on._

_"I love you too, Christine, not rest."_

_"Stay with me until I fall asleep?"_

_Erik agreed, and took a seat by my side._

_"I think I can do that."_

_I closed my eyes, and waited for sleep to take over as Erik hummed me to sleep. When I woke the next morning, Erik was gone, and Skimbleshanks was laying in his spot. Today was Valentine's day, and I felt ten times better._

_"Christine? Christine are you here?"_

_I dashed out of bed and to my wardrobe closet to get dressed._

_"Yes, Meg, I'll be there in a minute."_

_"How do you feel?" I heard her ask._

_"Great!" I shouted out. "Like a new person."_

_I quickly threw on my dress, and fixed my hair in the mirror before grabbing my cloak._

_"That's great, because you wouldn't believe what Erik's doing."_

_I found this strange. What was Erik doing? And how did Meg know about it._

_"What are you talking about, Meg?"_

_"I went to get a cup of coffee at the Café this morning and saw Erik passing by with a whole bunch of tools."_

_I rolled my eyes._

_"Meg, he's working. You do know that Phantasma is only two months away from opening."_

_"I followed him."_

_Meg looked as if she were the cat who swallowed the canary. She seemed so excited to tell me what Erik was doing._

_"You followed him?"_

_"Yes, and I believe he's had a change of heart about Valentine's day."_

_"Really? What did you see?"_

_Meg smiled playfully, and turned her back._

_"I won't say, or else it will ruin the surprise, plus if Erik ever found out that I told you, he'd probably fire me from my job."_

_"Meg!"_

_"No, you'll have to wait. Oh, but the good news is that Erik is thinking differently about Valentine's day. I would have thought him to be as cold as ever, but it seems times have changed."_

_"Well if that's the case." I said. "I better be getting into town to get him something."_

_"Like what?"_

_"I'm making him dinner, and making him a card."_

_"That's it?"_

_I walked out with Meg, and locked the door behind me._

_"Yes, Meg. Erik isn't materialistic. He doesn't need things to make him happy. I know just hearing kind words are enough for him."_

_"And why is that?"_

_"Meg, you know as good as me that that he's never had anyone say nice things to him. Now come along so I can shop and get back to get everything ready. I don't know when Erik is going to show up tonight, but he said it's going to be early."_

_Meg and I walked into the crowded city to the bazaar so I could by the ingredients needed to make Erik dinner._

_"So what's for dinner, Christine?"_

_"I'm making him a stew. It's one of his favorites."_

_I purchased some carrots and broccoli before heading towards the stationary store to buy some paper to make Erik a card._

_"So what do you think your baby is going to be? A boy or a girl?"_

_I shrugged._

_"I have no idea. I don't care what God gives me, it'll be beautiful no matter what."_

_"I'm sure Erik will be wanting a son."_

_Meg followed me into the crowded stationary store, like a lost puppy._

_"Why would Erik want a son?"_

_"Come on, Christine, who else is he going to give Phantasma over to when he gets old?"_

_"At the moment Erik doesn't care for the thought of me having his child. I've been trying to get him excited over it, but nothing has seemed to work so far."_

_"Give him time, Christine, I mean, who else is going to give him a child? He should be thankful."_

_"I don't like to think of it like that, but maybe after tonight he'll change his mind."_

_After buying the red paper I needed, I bid Meg goodbye and headed back to the flat to get everything ready. I wanted this to be the best Valentine's day ever for Erik, and I knew it would be…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Excitement is coming soon! Love you all!**


	28. Chapter 28

"_Oh Christine, Oh, Christine please be mine_

_I want to be your Valentine_

_I'll do anything to be your rose_

_I want to be the Valentine you chose_

_Hold my hand and don't let go_

_Open your heart and feel our love grow_

_Lock me in your heart for just one day_

_Feeling your love while reality fades away_

_I'll wait year after year_

_Crying and sobbing tear after tear_

_Oh, Christine, Oh, Christine please be mine_

_I want to be your Valentine"_- Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_I had been working hard all week, working hard for Christine. Valentine's day was something I never celebrated simply because I didn't have anyone to celebrate it with. This year I swore it was going to be different. I had decided to do something special for Christine, something she would truly enjoy. I had been literally killing myself to finish it on time for Valentine's Day, and finished it on the morning of. I had left Christine on the eve to work throughout the night on it, and finished just as the sun came up. I was a complete mess, and lugged myself back to my flat to soak in a bath before crawling into bed to get some rest. My bed was extremely lonely without Christine, but knew I would have her beside me tonight._

_I usually don't sleep many hours, but when I fell asleep, I stayed that way until I was woken by the grandfather clock I had in the hall. I laid there counting the chimes to see what time it was, only to realize that it was three in the afternoon. Had I really slept that long? I was still exhausted, and groaned into my pillow before deciding to get up and dress for the evening. After stripping off my night clothes, I donned my finest trousers and shirt before finishing it off with my suede suit jacket. I then placed my gloves over my grotesque hands and locked my flat, knowing I wouldn't be returning until the morning._

_By the time I made it into town, the sun was already beginning to set. I knew it would be dark by the time I made it to Christine's, but first I needed to stop at the florist and pick up some roses. It had been years since I had given Christine roses, and tonight, I would do just that, but with a twist. I bought eleven real roses, and placed a fake one in the bunch. When everything was perfect, I paid, and headed towards Christine's flat. The street lights were already on by the time I made it there, and I looked around just to make sure no one was in sight or witnessing me going up the stairs. I was excited, because Christine probably had no idea what Valentine's Day was or what it entitled. Yes, I might have never celebrated it before, but I spent years watching others wallow in happiness and celebrate the day. Instead of walking in like I usually did, I knocked and hid the roses behind my back so she wouldn't see them._

_Christine came to the door dressed in the most beautiful red and white dress I had ever seen her wear, and her hair was pulled up in a shiny ribbon. Did she know about Valentine's Day?_

_"Erik, I'm so happy to see you." she smiled widely and kissed me on the lips. "Come in."_

_I did as she told me to, and shut the door behind me. Once the door was closed, I smelled the most wonderful smell coming from the kitchen. Pie perhaps? No, this smelled more heavenly than pie….Beef? Oh, the suspense was killing me._

_"Are you cooking?" I curiously asked._

_Christine hurried into the kitchen and I followed with the roses still hid behind my back._

_"Yes, it's one of your favorites."_

_She turned down the heat on the stove, and glanced over at me noticing the strange position that my arms were in._

_"Erik, are you alright? What's wrong with your arms?"_

_"Nothing." I teased._

_Christine's eyebrows knitted together as she gave me the strangest look I had ever seen her give me._

_"Really? What are you hiding behind your back?"_

_I took a few playful steps back as Christine came forward._

_"Nothing."_

_"Yes you are." she giggled. "What is it?"_

_I would have continued stepping back, but I began feeling Skimbleshank's paw tugging at the ribbon that was dangling from the bouquet of roses. I looked over my shoulder, and tried to push the annoying fur ball away with my foot, but he kept coming back, wanting to pull the entire ribbon off the roses._

_"Stop it, you annoying vermin." I growled._

_"Erik, what are you hiding?"_

_When Skimbleshanks wouldn't stop, my only way to get him off the ribbon was to finally bring the bouquet around in Christine's direction. She squealed at the sight of them, and embraced me._

_"Oh, Erik, they're so beautiful."_

_She took them from my hands, and dug her face deep into their soft petals._

_"Happy Valentine's Day, mon ange."_

_Christine looked up from her roses, and smiled._

_"That was very sweet of you, Erik…..But wait?" she fingered the fake rose, and pulled it from the bunch. "This one isn't real."_

_"It's done on purpose, my love. You see there are eleven real roses, and they will eventually wither and die, but I promise to love you, until the last one dies…."_

_"This rose will never die, Erik…"_

_It took a few moments for Christine to get what I meant by the fake rose, but when she realized its symbol, she threw herself into my arms._

_"Erik, that is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. In all my years married to Raoul, never once has he done…..Oh, Erik, I love it."_

_When she looked up at me, her eyes were full of tears._

_"I've upset you."_

_She wiped her eyes, and hurried into the kitchen._

_"No, you've made me ever so happy….just let me find a vase for these."_

_I took a seat in the armchair that was by the fire, and waited for Christine to return. When she did, she was carrying a heart shaped card of some sort._

_"Here, Erik, Happy Valentine's Day."_

_I looked down at the cover, and fingered the red glitter and smaller hearts surrounding it. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen._

_"Did you make this?"_

_Christine sheepishly nodded, and sat at my feet with Skimbleshanks._

_"I wanted to do something nice for our first Valentine's Day together. I didn't know what to buy you so I decided to make one of your favorite meals, and a card."_

_"It's beautiful, Christine, so beautiful, just like you."_

_"Read it out loud."_

_I looked back down at the cover, and read the front._

_"Happy Valentine's Day My Angel of Music."_

_I then opened it, and began reading the words that were written on the red paper._

_"Erik,_

_You've given me a reason to smile once again_

_You've filled my life with peaceful dreams_

_And you've become my closest friend._

_You've shared your heartfelt secrets_

_And your trust you've given me_

_You've showed me how to feel again_

_To laugh and love and see._

_If life should end tomorrow_

_And from this world should I part,_

_I shall be forever young_

_For you have touched my heart._

_Love you always and forever_

_Christine."_

_By the time I had finished, my eyes were so full of tears, and my heart was aching. No one had ever said something as nice as that was to me. I sat there in the arm chair sobbing, and pressing the card to my heart._

_"Erik, please don't cry."_

_Christine stood up, and tried to wipe away my tears, but they kept pouring._

_"Did….did you mean every word?"_

_Christine kissed me, and nodded._

_"Every single one, Erik."_

_I placed the card inside my jacket, and stood up. I was going to wait until after dinner to show Christine my surprise, but I couldn't wait any longer._

_"Christine…" I wiped my eyes, and went for her cloak. "There's something else."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"It's your real gift." I said. "I was going to wait until after dinner, but I can't wait any longer."_

_"Well, what is it?"_

_"I didn't bring it with me."_

_"So you're taking me outside?"_

_"Yes, now come along."_

_Christine turned off the stove, and I helped her into her cloak before walking outside. The night air was cold, and Christine stayed close as we walked around Phantasma._

_"So where are we going? Your flat?"_

_"Something like that, but not quite."_

_When we reached the Ferris Wheel, I stopped her, and placed my gloved hands over her eyes._

_"What are you doing?" she giggled._

_"Keep your eyes closed and do as I say."_

_I walked behind her, keeping my hands over her eyes as we continued to walk in the direction of her gift. Once there, I opened the door and ordered her to step up._

_"Keep your eyes closed."_

_"Erik, where are we?"_

_"Almost there."_

_I didn't want her peeking until everything was perfect. I stood her in the position I wanted her to stand in, and then I stood in front of her, taking her own hands into my own._

_"Can I open them now?"_

_I took one last look around our surroundings to make sure everything was perfect, before giving the order for her to do so._

_"Ok, open them."_

_I looked at her, as her eyes opened and gazed towards the high rafters, the whitewashed walls, the eight rows of lacquered pews, and the stained glass window in front of us._

_"Erik? Are we in some sort of church?"_

_I grinned._

_"It's a chapel my dear, doesn't this all seem a bit familiar?"_

_Christine looked around a few seconds more, before letting her jaw drop._

_"Erik….you…."_

_She didn't even finish her sentence, and stormed down the small isle and out the door to the cobble stone walk way to stand in front of the chapel, the chapel I had built from the tiny carved model Christine had made into an ornament for me._

_"Erik! This is beautiful!"_

_Christine looked at everything, the arched shaped arbor over the door, the rose bushes surrounding both sides of the chapel, she looked at everything! When she stepped back inside, she ran her hand over the back pew, and gave me a beautiful stare._

_"Tell me why you did this, Erik? You know we can't be married. You once told me you were going to build this chapel to marry me in."_

_"Are you disappointed that I built this?" I asked. "If it upsets you, I could always bring it down?"_

_"No!" she gasped. "Don't ever do such a thing. I love it, I just can't understand why?"_

_"I did it…..I did it because I know how much you probably miss having a place to pray for your father. In Paris I know it meant a lot to you."_

_She nodded, and placed her head down._

_"Yes, even when I lived with Raoul, he hated when I would go to the cemetery to pray. He once said that "I shouldn't be doing it any longer because you had cursed my father's tomb with the devil within you."_

_"Christine, I would never do such a thing. I would never bring hell upon your father's grave."_

_"I know, Erik. It's been a long time since I've had somewhere to pray for my father. Yes, I know I can talk to him anywhere I go, but I feel closer to him when doing it inside a church or at his grave."_

_"I also thought that I would open it to the public come spring time. If I can't make use of it, surely everyone else could make merry and elope to Phantasma to marry."_

_I plopped down in the front pew, and stared down at my feet. This chapel had been my dream, and now it would become a reality but for someone else….for Christine, not me. I felt Christine sit down beside me, and place her hand on my thigh._

_"Erik, Meg told me that you hate Valentine's Day."_

_"It's because I do. In all of my ten years living on Coney Island, I never had someone to spend it with. What made matters worse was when Dr. Gangle decided to throw a Valentine's Day dance and invite everyone."_

_"Meg said you tore the place apart."_

_I nodded._

_"Do you know how heartbreaking and degrading it is to step into a dance hall and see everyone kissing their dates and dancing about when you yourself don't have someone to do that with? I was the only one, Christine, the only one out of all the freaks who didn't have a date. I thought of myself to be unlovable, and a monster….I tore everything apart and cursed the blasted holiday."_

_"I hope I've changed that, Erik."_

_"Indeed you have."_

_I pressed my hand to the part of my jacket that held the card Christine made me._

_"After reading what you wrote to me, I don't believe I'll ever have a horrible Valentine's Day again."_

_"I want to give you a gift, Erik."_

_"You've given me the world, Christine, there's nothing more you can possibly give me."_

_"How about a living wife?"_

_My breath became caught in my throat upon hearing this. How could she even say such a thing when she was married to Raoul?_

_"Christine, please don't start this again. You know as good as me that you're already married and cannot ever marry me in such a circumstance. Do you know what the town's people would think?"_

_"I didn't say the town's people needed to know."_

_"Documents and marriage licenses get around, Christine. Besides, you're already listed on a marriage certificate with Raoul."_

_"I didn't say before the town's people, Erik."_

_"If not them, than who?"_

_"Before the eyes of God."_

_"You've gone mad, Christine."_

_She shook her head, and helped me to my feet._

_"Madly in love is all I am, Erik, madly in love with you."_

_She led me to the alter, and stood before me with her hands interlocked with my own._

_"Christine, this can never work."_

_"Yes, it can, and it will, Erik. Do you believe in magic, Erik?"_

_"I, my dear, am the master of magic. But what does this have to do with marriage?"_

_"Everything. Now do you want to be my husband before God or not?"_

_My heart was beating a mile a minute in my chest, and all I could do was nod._

_"You built this chapel, Erik, it be unfair if you weren't the first one to be married in it. Now, I'll start the ceremony."_

_Christine paused as my hands sweated within my gloves._

_"Oh, and take these off, and that mask. I wish to feel my husband's hands and see the face of the man I am about to marry."_

_I looked towards the open door of the chapel just to make sure no one was watching. When my deathly cold boney fingers made contact with Christine's, I shivered, but only for the slightest of seconds._

_"Heavenly father, we are gathered here today to come together as husband and wife. Yes, I know I have sinned by wanting to marry Erik, but you know me. You did create me after all, and must know the abuse and horror that I have been facing these past ten years. I'm sure that you could make an exception for me. If you believe I am making a huge mistake by marrying the man before me, speak now or forever hold your peace."_

_Christine silenced, and looked up at me._

_"I guess God has nothing to say about this. Erik, do you take me to be your wedded wife before the eyes of God? Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer until death do we part?"_

_I stood there shaking like a leaf, as Christine awaited my answer. Since the day I was born, never did I think that I would be standing at an alter beside Christine. Yes, this marriage was only going to be between her and I….and God, but it felt so right._

_"I…I do."_

_Christine smiled, and laughed when I didn't say anything more._

_"This would be the part when you ask me my vows."_

_"Oh….Um…..Christine, do you take me to be your wedded husband before the eyes of God? Through sickness and in health, for richer of poorer until death do we part?"_

_"I do."_

_"Um…what now?"_

_Christine giggled._

_"We exchange the rings."_

_"What rings?"_

_"The magic rings, Erik."_

_I wasn't sure what Christine meant by this, but watched as she curled her finger, and slipped it over my left ring finger. She paused for a few moments, before sliding her ring shaped finger off my own._

_"Don't you see it, Erik? It's an invisible ring….only you and I can see it. Your finger may look bare to the town's people, but when you look down, you'll be able to see it."_

_Christine was so creative, and so….so beautiful. My own magic wedding ring, one that I could only see…._

_"What does it look like, Erik?"_

_I raised my left hand to my face, and traced over my finger…._

_"It's gold, Christine, the most beautiful gold I have ever seen. But that's not all, there's something engraved all around its surface."_

_"Really? What is it?"_

_"It's written in French."_

_I twisted my hand around as if reading the engravement on my ring._

_"Amor Numquam Moritur"_

_"Love Never Dies." Christine gasped._

_'Precisely."_

_"That's beautiful, Erik. Do you have a ring for me as well?"_

_I bent my finger in the shape of a ring, and slid it onto Christine's wedding finger and over Raoul's ring. Touching that damn thing was like fire to my flesh. How badly I wanted to tear it off, but knew Christine needed to wear it in town._

_"Ah, much bigger than Raoul's." she giggled, holding her hand up to her face. "You got me a ring so big that it cover's the measly one Raoul gave to me….Oh, and so beautiful too, Erik."_

_"Only for you, my love."_

_"So by the power invested in the lord above, may he now pronounce us husband and wife. You, monsieur, may kiss the bride."_

_And I did just that. I kissed her so passionately that we fell over into a pew. I didn't care, I was Christine's husband before the eyes of God. And with our invisible rings, we walked home, kissing every inch along the way. When we arrived back at Christine's flat, we didn't even worry about eating dinner, no, that could wait. As soon as we opened the door, our bodies crashed up against one another's as our kisses only became deeper. Christine turned out the lights, and laid me back against her bed as she crawled into my lap. Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of my shirt, as my hands braced her side._

_"You're so beautiful, Christine." I murmured. "So beautiful."_

_Her fingers grazed over the scars of my newly exposed flesh, as my own fingers trailed up her thighs._

_"Enough talking." she cooed. "Just love me, Erik."_

_"I do, Christine."_

_With that, our lips met and never broke away. Our clothes came off our bodies, as the fire within ourselves burned for one another. We crawled beneath the covers, and made sweet passionate love until the late hours of the evening. I fell asleep with my face pillowed against her curls, inhaling the wonderful scent of her shampoo. Yes, my night had been like a wonderful dream, but my nightmares were only beginning._

_I found myself once again in the degrading cage I had come to know. It was foggy, and everything was silent._

_"So, my little demon is lonely."_

_The voice sounded so familiar! It was my master! I spun around the cage, my arms and legs tied to the bars as my naked body shivered and trembled in the winter air._

_"Does my demon want some company?"_

_I heard the rusty gate of my cage opening, only to see the obese body of my master reaching inside for me._

_"No! leave me alone!"_

_But he didn't, he crawled into the cage beside me, and began running his cold disgusting hands all over my naked flesh._

_"You tell Taticu where you like to be touched."_

_"Stop."_

_I tried to move my arms and legs about, but it was no use, I was stuck. From above my head, I heard the rattling of the bars, only to look up and see Raoul standing outside of my cage._

_"Yes, you like that don't you, monster? It's the only pleasure you're going to ever get."_

_Soon everything was spinning until a crowd appeared around the cage as my master continued to violate my body with his own. Everyone was laughing, but I was begging them to stop. Christine was there too…she was standing at the bars, looking in at me with such seriousness._

_"You're disgusting…"_

_"Christine….no….love me…"_

_"Never."_

_"Even a spider has the right to mate…."_

_"Not you, you disgust me."_

_I jolted awake in a fitful rage. I was still naked within the sheets, but my chest was pouring with sweat, and my mind was pounding with agony. Why wouldn't my mind rest? Why was I constantly having horrible nightmares? They were only becoming worse and worse….._

_"Erik?"_

_I heard the soft coo of Christine from beside me, only to look down and see her stirring in her sleep._

_"I'm fine, love."_

_"Did you have another nightmare?"_

_I plopped down against the mattress and stared up at the ceiling as I ran my fingers through my thin hairs._

_"I'm fine, just go back to sleep."_

_"Do you want to talk about it?"_

_"No, I'm perfectly fine."_

_I reached over on the night table full of my small belongings, and clung to my pocket watch. When I clicked it open, I held it towards the ceiling and read the time._

_"I should be going."_

_It was already five in the morning. Had my nightmare lasted the entire night? I sat up, and ran my hand through my hair one last time before swinging my legs over the side of the bed._

_"Erik, angel, don't go."_

_Christine was now behind me, kissing my boney shoulders with her soft lips._

_"I must. I'll return tonight."_

_I stood up, and placed on my shirt and pants that were in a pile by the bed._

_"But what about my stew? We didn't even eat it."_

_"Save it for tonight, and we'll have it for dinner."_

_Once I was dressed, I turned back to see Christine looking at me as she lay there beneath the covers._

_"You were amazing last night, Erik."_

_"As were you. Don't give me all the credit."_

_I reached down on the night table, and placed my wallet and pocket watch back into their proper places on my clothes._

_"Erik, you're not wearing your ring." Christine teased._

_"I don't remember taking it off." I added back to her._

_I leaned down to kiss Christine, when I felt her finger slide over my left ring finger._

_"There, now you're wearing it."_

_"Thank you."_

_I kissed her one last time before straightening myself and picking up her real wedding ring that bound her and Raoul together. She had taken it off the night before just before we made love._

_"You my dear, are not wearing yours either."_

_I placed it in her hand._

_"Now do me a favor and place it back on. You mustn't ever walk out of this flat without wearing it."_

_"I know that." she replied, placing it back on her finger._

_After locking on my leg braces, I threw on my jacket, and gave her one last look._

_"I'll be back as soon as I can. For now get some rest and mind the baby."_

_"I love you, Erik."_

_I approached the door._

_"And so do I, my beautiful bride."_

_And after locking the door behind me I walked into the cold morning fog towards the direction of my workshop…._

* * *

**Fluff, fluff, fluffy bunnies! Hope you liked it! I fluffed it up super charge for you all! Please review! Story is gonna be going a bit into the future now, but not too much into the future! Love you all!**


	29. Chapter 29

"_Erik and I see eye to eye_

_For now we are together_

_Loving forever_

_And the birth of our child is near_

_There's nothing within my heart_

_That would keep me apart_

_From my newly found angel and husband…"- _Excerption from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_Erik and I were married….maybe not legally, but being married in the eyes of God is something no one could ever imagine. But Erik and I made a promise to one another to tell no one about it. This marriage needed to stay a secret, and so it did. After Valentine's Day, things between Erik and I only became better and better. He began coming to the flat earlier than he usually did, and would spend many nights with me. His nightmares would wake him up, and as much as I tried to make them go away, they still continued to come. It hurt me to think that my angel was having bad dreams, but there was nothing I could do about them. One day while I was out shopping with Meg, we came across a stand of trinkets. They weren't like any other trinkets I had ever seen before. The man selling them was dark skinned, and had long black hair. He told Meg and I that he was from out west, and was of Indian decent. He told us stories about his family's teepees and long houses, and how he and his brothers loved hunting in the summer._

_Hanging over his stand were some sort of oval shaped trinkets threaded with colorful yarn with feathers dangling from the bottoms of them. They were absolutely beautiful, and when I asked him about them, he told me they were "Dream Catchers." When I asked him about it, he told me the story about how they are to be placed over your bed and how they catch what ever nightmares one will have. I immediately bought one; one that was threaded with black yarn and had white feathers. When I returned home, I hung it over Erik's side of the bed, and that night explained to him about its purpose. Erik liked the idea, and slept beside me that night. His nightmares didn't completely stop, but they were better than they were._

_By the middle of march, what ever snow was left on the ground had melted, making it obvious that spring was just around the corner. My stomach was beginning to show, and I spent most of my time alone taking out the size in my dresses. Erik had offered to buy me new ones, but I didn't want to part with the ones I had been wearing. As much as I loved Spring back in Paris, I hated it now. Erik had told me once spring arrived he would be working later, and not around as often. His days of coming to visit me at sundown had soon ended and his visits had become few and far in between. I did as the doctor asked, and visited him once a month. On my first visit back to him, he had told me that everything seemed ok. I knew everything was fine, because I felt fine. My vomiting had stopped and the only thing I felt was tired every so often._

_It was the last day of March, and three whole days since I last seen Erik. It saddened me when I would lay in bed at night and wait for him, thinking perhaps he would show up. Though, I did worry about him and his no show visits, Meg assured me that she seen him working around Phantasma. By the second day of not seeing him, I was tempted to go into Phantasma and search him out, but knew the consequences could be very bad. Instead I waited. Phantasma was opening in the morning to the public, and there was still no sign of Erik._

_That night, I sat in my arm chair knitting clothes for the baby as Skimbleshanks played with the yarn. Sometimes Skimbleshanks was the only thing that kept me happy and occupied when Erik wasn't around. When the clock stuck midnight, I yawned and was about to get up to go to bed, when I heard the door open. I turned my head, only to see Erik walking through the door covered in grease from his shoulders all the way down to his knees._

_"You're still up." were the first words out of his mouth._

_How badly I wanted to be angry at him, but I knew I couldn't, for he had warned me about these lonely days._

_"I was just going to bed." I replied, setting my knitting down. "You're covered in grease, Erik."_

_Erik looked down at himself, and chucked exhaustedly._

_"Yes, it was a hard day. The coaster had a leak when I tried to align the cars back on the track."_

_"I'll draw a bath for you."_

_"Yes, that would be greatly appreciated."_

_I stood from my chair, and walked into the other room to heat some bath water for Erik._

_"Everything is all ready to go in the morning." he called from the main room. "Even the shows. Meg however seems excited about working."_

_"I know she is."_

_I poured the heated water into the tub, and came back out to help Erik out of his clothes._

_"Give them to me, and I'll wash them in the morning. There's another pair you can wear in the wardrobe closet."_

_"I'll don them in the morning. If you don't mind, I would like to spend the night."_

_"Really?" I questioned, unbuttoning his stained shirt._

_"Yes, I don't think I could walk home if I wanted to."_

_"You're a mess, Erik. You look as if you haven't slept in days."_

_"I haven't. It's been a busy few days."_

_"Are you hungry?"_

_"No, I'm just exhausted."_

_When Erik was completely naked, I folded his dirty clothes, and placed them near the wash bin. Afterwards I opened the wardrobe closet and took out a pair of nightclothes for him, and took them into the bathroom to place them on the sink._

_" Christine, are you upset with me?"_

_I turned to see him washing himself in the tub. I couldn't tell him about my anger, for it wasn't right._

_"I did miss you, Erik."_

_"I know, Christine, I missed you too. I'm really sorry I was away so long."_

_"I was worried."_

_Erik stood up in the tub of water, and grabbed a towel to wrap around him._

_"Christine, let's not talk about it anymore. Kiss me."_

_I smiled, and leaned in to feel his moist lips up against my own._

_"I'm going to go lay in bed." I told him, heading to the door._

_"I'll meet you there in a few moments."_

_When I walked back out to my bed, I noticed there was a wrapped gift set on the night table. Curious, I picked up the heavy box, and examined it…Had Erik brought this with him?_

_"Erik?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Is this gift from you?"_

_"Yes, open it." he called._

_I peeled back the paper, and opened the box. I then reached inside and picked up the heavy object and brought it into the light. It was a porcelain carousel horse, white with colorful reigns draping his main and saddle. But that wasn't all, on the bottom there was a crank of some sort. I wound it up, only to hear the beautiful tune of "Music of the Night."_

_"Erik…."_

_When the beautiful tune filled the flat, Erik came walking out of the bathroom dressed in his pajamas._

_"Do you like it?"_

_"Erik, it's….it's so beautiful."_

_"I made it for the baby, Christine."_

_"You made this? For the baby?"_

_"Yes."_

_I placed it down on the night table, and sighed._

_"I'm jealous."_

_Erik kissed me, and laid down beside me._

_"How is the baby?"_

_"I went to the doctor a few days ago. He said everything seems ok at the moment."_

_"And you feel ok?"_

_"Yes, Erik, I feel great."_

_"Good."_

_Erik yawned, and wrapped his arms around me._

_"We'll talk in the morning, mon ange. I'm afraid if we start talking now I might fall asleep on you."_

_"Goodnight, Erik, I love you."_

_"Me too…"_

_That night, as I laid there curled up with my pillow, I was awoken by a strange feeling in my stomach. I gasped, and waited…..Then it happened again…A kick! My baby was kicking! I giggled, and leaned over to wake Erik._

_"Erik! Erik, wake up."_

_Erik stirred in his sleep, and groaned deeply into his pillow._

_"Erik, the baby….Erik…."_

_His eyes shot open and he rolled over to his side._

_"Christine? What's wrong? Is everything alright?"_

_"Erik, the baby kicked."_

_"God! We should get you to a hospital…" Erik pushed himself up, and was about to get out of bed when I pulled him back down._

_"Erik, calm down. It's ok….really."_

_"It is?"_

_I nodded, and placed Erik's hand over my round stomach._

_"I don't feel anything…."_

_"Be patient, Erik."_

_It was then that the kick occurred again. When Erik felt it, he quickly pulled away, and looked down at his hand._

_"I'm hurting it."_

_"No, Erik, our child is alive…."_

_I took Erik's hand, and placed it back over my stomach._

_"Feel our child, Erik?"_

_"Does that not hurt you?" he asked._

_"Not at all. In fact, it feels great, Erik."_

_"What time is it, my love?" he asked wrapping his arms around me._

_"I have no idea." I sighed into his chest. "I'm too tired to care."_

_Erik reached under me and grabbed his pocket watch from the night table._

_"Nearly morning, my dear."_

_"Which means you're leaving soon." I scoffed. "Like always."_

_"Right, my dear, so get dressed."_

_This confused me. Erik stood up, and went for his clothes in the wardrobe closet._

_"It's Phantasma's opening day, my love."_

_"This early?"_

_"No, not yet. We have a few hours until the gates open for the first time."_

_"We? Erik, have you gone mad?"_

_Erik stripped his pajamas, and threw on his daily attire._

_"What's the problem with me taking you on a private outing in Phantasma before it opens?"_

_I jumped up in excitement._

_"Really? You really mean it, Erik?"_

_He nodded, and looked at the time._

_"Yes, but we must get going so we won't have to rush it."_

_I never acted so fast in my entire life. I was ready to go in a matter of minutes, not wasting another moment of our outing. It was a rather warm morning, still dark and somewhat foggy as well. Phantasma looked so different than what I had been used to seeing. I usually saw boarded up stands and tarp covered rides, but today….today was different. The stands were now un boarded, the rides were uncovered, and the game stands had stuffed animals hanging within them._

_"So, my love, what do you wish to do first?"_

_I shrugged in excitement._

_"I'm not sure, Erik. You're the tour guide. Why don't you lead the way."_

_"I have to run tests on the rides before the park opens in a few hours. Would you like to perhaps ride the carousel?"_

_I smiled widely._

_"That sounds lovely."_

_Erik pulled me to the beautiful carousel, and helped me inside the gate. And then, with a flick of the switch, the lights came on, and the horses looked just like the one Erik had made for our baby. I hopped up on one of them, as Erik stood at the engine._

_"Are you ready?" he asked._

_"Yes."_

_I had never ridden on anything before, especially one of the rides Erik had built. When he pushed the button, my horse began to levitate up as the track began to go around. I held onto the golden pole tightly as a happy tune began playing. When I was passing Erik again, he jumped ever so gracefully up into the carousel, and hopped on the horse behind my own._

_"Are you ok, Christine?" he asked._

_"Yes, I'm perfectly fine. Oh, Erik, this is so fun."_

_"You haven't seen anything yet, my love."_

_It was then out of nowhere that a long pole attached to the wall outside of the carousel stretched out, producing some sort of metal ring._

_"Erik, what is that?"_

_"That's the fun part, Christine. You stretch your arm out and grab the ring. It's a game. The person with the most rings at the end of the ride wins."_

_"Is that a challenge?" I teased._

_"Most defiantly, mon ange."_

_When the pole came around again, I reached out my hand and tried to grab a ring, only to miss. Erik on the other hand caught one, and held it up for me to see._

_"Ha! That's one, mon ange!"_

_"No fair…" I giggled. "You've probably done this before."_

_"No, never…."_

_This shocked me, but I wasn't about to give up. When the pole came around again, I reached out, and finally got one, while Erik caught his second one._

_"One is better than none, Christine."_

_When the ride ended, Erik held up his winnings. He had four, and I only had two…_

_"I guess you win."_

_Erik stepped down from his horse as the carousel was making it's last rounds. He approached my side, and placed his rings over my finger._

_"You can have my rings."_

_"What do we do with them now?"_

_"Throw them into the lion's mouth."_

_"The what?"_

_Erik pointed to the wall where a large painting of a lion was, but where it's mouth was supposed to be was a large hole in the wall._

_"Inside the wall is a track that will take the rings and load them right back into the machine."_

_I threw my rings at the painting, and Erik helped me down from my horse._

_"Did I ever tell you how brilliant you are?"_

_"I'm nothing without you, Christine."_

_He kissed me ever so lovingly, before leading me back into the park._

_"Where next, Erik?"_

_"I was thinking the Maze of Mirrors. I'd suggest more rides, but in your condition, it's not a good thing."_

_"Yes, I know."_

_"Come along then."_

_I followed Erik to a large black building with the sculpture of a clown hanging on the outside of it. Erik unlocked the door, and motioned me in. When I stepped inside the dark building, I noticed that it was a maze, one whose walls were nothing but mirrors._

_"You built this?"_

_"Indeed. Believe it or not, Christine, mirrors are my specialty. After all, mirrors can kill. In Persia I worked for the Shah, entertaining him with my magic and building him torture chambers…..mirrors as I had said, were my specialty."_

_We walked along, the mirrors distorting our images._

_"Mirrors fascinate you?"_

_"Ever since the day I first saw my reflection. I took apart my mother's mirror, thinking I was going to find a monster behind the glass. Ever since then, I've been interested in the concept of reflection and how it can be changed."_

_"Is that why all the mirrors are different?"_

_"Exactly."_

_With Erik leading the way, we didn't get lost in the maze at all._

_"Do you know your way? There's so many different paths, and yet you're leading us down the right one."_

_"I could walk it blindfolded, Christine. Though, I would love for us to be lost within it for hours, but we're on a tight schedule, and mustn't waste time."_

_When we came out the back door, the darkness of the night was beginning to fade away. Erik looked towards the sky, and then at his pocket watch._

_"Come along, still some time left. I want to show you something fun."_

_I followed Erik to a line of game stands titled "Phantasma Fun Fair" and watched as he hopped behind the counter of one of the games. In the stand there was a rectangular contraption that had many coin shaped slots at the top of it, and at the bottom there were numbers ranging from fifty to one hundred. Inside the rectangular contraption was a maze leading all the way down to the numbers._

_"Erik, what is this?"_

_"A game I like to call "Gold Miner's Coin Drop"_

_Erik placed a few silver coins down in front of me, and smiled behind his mask._

_"Would you like to try?"_

_"How do you play?"_

_"It's simple. You take one of the coins and drop it into any of the slots of your choice. Once inside, the coin will go down a path and eventually reach the bottom. The whole point of the game is to get your coin in the "One Hundred" slot. If you get that, you'll win."_

_I picked up one of my coins, and dropped it into a slot close to the end of the contraption. My coin jingled and clanked all the way through the maze until it leaned to the left and fell into the "Seventy Five" labeled slot._

_"That was close, Christine, try again."_

_I picked up the next coin, and dropped it into a slot closer to the middle._

_"That's a good choice." Erik said as we watched the coin drop into the maze._

_"Almost there…"_

_When it hit the bottom, it fell into the "Fifty" labeled slot._

_"One more coin." Erik said, handing it to me._

_"Why don't you try this time?" I suggested._

_"Ok…"_

_Erik took the coin from my hand, and thought about which slot to put it in. He then dropped it into a slot all the way to the right. The coin clanked all the way through the maze, and finally landed in the "One Hundred" slot._

_"You won, Erik." I excitedly exclaimed._

_"No, you won." he said. "And since you won, why don't you pick your prize."_

_He motioned to the stuffed animals hanging above his head. There was a brown bear, a golden lion with a dark main, and a blue elephant._

_"Could I have the lion?"_

_Erik reached up and handed me one._

_"Wish granted."_

_By the time Erik hopped back over the counter, the sun was beginning to come up. Once more, Erik checked his pocket watch, and sadly placed it into the lapel of his jacket._

_"My love, it's nearly time, and I have many rides to test before the opening at eight. We have just enough time to grab some breakfast."_

_"Lead the way, Erik."_

_On the other side of Phantasma, the man known as Nathan from "Nathan's Hot Dogs" was lifting the cover from over his shop. The last time I had seen him, he was very ashamed at me for stealing from his shop. Erik had tried to make things better, but I knew he was still upset…..maybe he forgot about me over the winter?_

_"Nathan's, Christine?"_

_"Hot dogs for breakfast?" I questioned._

_"What? Nonsense, Christine, he makes a delicious hot dogs, pepper and egg sandwich."_

_When we stepped into his shop, he chuckled happily at the sight of Erik._

_"Boss, it's so good to see you again. How was your winter?"_

_"Extremely pleasant." Erik replied. "And yours?"_

_"Time off the Misses was good. I enjoyed it very much, god knows I needed it after such a hectic summer."_

_"And yet here you are again."_

_"What can I say? People love my stand."_

_"And I shall be your first customer. How's about one of your favorite breakfast sandwiches?"_

_"Right away. Just one?"_

_Erik stepped aside, letting Nathan see me._

_"Oh, the young lady is still with you?"_

_"Yes, but not with me. She's just a friend staying in her own flat."_

_"And she is with child too?"_

_Erik nodded._

_"Yes, apparently her lover is at war right now, and I am watching over her."_

_Nathan didn't ask anymore questions, and went to work on our breakfast._

_"The crowds are going to be lovely today, boss. The crowds are already lining up by the thousands, Monsieur."_

_"Of course, as you've probably heard I beat Coney Island by a long run."_

_Erik and I took a seat at one of the tables, away from Nathan's sight._

_"I had fun, Erik. I wish we could do this more often….in public that is."_

_"You know we can't, Christine."_

_"I know…. I think it would be more….more…"_

_"Normal." he scoffed._

_"Erik, that's not what I meant. I don't regret it…"_

_"Regret what?"_

_"Our eloping before the eyes of God…"_

_"Neither do I…"_

_Nathan set our breakfast down in front of us, and told us to enjoy before leaving us._

_"Erik, I don't want you to leave me today….I love you so much, and I want to spend the entire day with you."_

_Erik bit into his sandwich, and shook his head._

_"Christine, you can't be like this. I'm trying the best that I can, you know….I'm trying to spend time with you like a normal person, but if this becomes a problem then we can't do things like this. I can't be having you all upset every time we do this. Now finish your breakfast so I can take you home."_

_"What will you be doing today?"_

_"Everything, Christine. I have to make sure all the rides are working, I have to help run the freak shows and Meg's performance. I have to close down Phantasma for the night and then head to my office to count the ticket stubs and run the payments."_

_"So in other words you're going to be too busy to see me tonight."_

_I was acting like a complete child! Why was I doing this? I knew what I was getting myself into by falling in love with the owner of Phantasma, so why was I being such a…such a bitch?_

_"I didn't say that." he growled. "Why do you always assume things before they even happen?"_

_Now I was angry…._

_"So I won't wind up laying in bed awake all night wondering when or if you're coming through the door!"_

_Erik slammed his hands down on the table, and looked me right in the eyes._

_"Keep your voice down, Christine."_

_"So are you or aren't you, Erik?"_

_"Am I what?"_

_"Coming home tonight?"_

_"I don't know, Christine, it all depends on my work load."_

_"I knew you weren't coming home tonight."_

_I finished eating, and stood up and bid Nathan a good day. Once I was outside, Erik came chasing after me, and pulled me by the arm._

_"Christine you cannot act like this in public! If you have something to argue about you do it in your God damn flat! do you understand! Do you want our lives to become a living hell? I sure as hell don't. We've been getting alone amazingly, Christine, and I don't want it to change…."_

_I didn't have anything to say, I could only nod._

_"Look, I'm trying my best to work and see you. And as much as I don't want it to be, sadly, my work must come before you. I'm the owner, Christine…." his voice had calmed down, and his gloved hand lifted my chin up. "I'll try my hardest every night to come see you, but I can't promise anything."_

_"I'm sorry, Erik. I didn't mean to blow up on you like that….it's….it's my hormones."_

_Erik chuckled, and began leading me back to my flat._

_"Yes, it's understandable."_

_When Erik led me up the stairs to my flat, he unlocked the door and we entered._

_"Ok, I must go now, Christine. I promise to be back as soon as I can."_

_I kissed him, and hugged his body close to mine._

_"I love you."_

_"Me too, now I must get going. I'll try to stop by tonight."_

_After Erik left, I cleaned up a bit, and stood by the window watching the crowds of people strolling about Phantasma. There were so many people, I was surprised how they all fit into the park. It was shoulder to shoulder….defiantly no place for an expecting mother to be walking around._

_This morning had been such a busy one, that I grew tired, and sat down in my arm chair to nap….I hadn't been asleep long, but was awoken to the sound of someone knocking at the door. Erik, perhaps? Was it night already? The curtains over my window were closed, but I could still see sunlight shining through it. No, it couldn't have been Erik….It had to be Meg…I groaned softly, and quietly crept over to the door. Only something didn't feel right….something within me told me to do otherwise. This child had me feeling strange all the time….. Instead of pulling open the door like I usually did, I took a peek out of the peep hole, and almost had a heart attack at the sight of the person standing on the other end…No, it was not Meg standing there, it was Raoul!_

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun! Please don't throw crackers at me for leaving you off with this. Now the fun shall being…Muwha… Please, review everyone! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible…and no, the end of the story is not near….No where near over! Raoul is going to be a huge part of what I like to call "Act 2" Haha **


	30. Chapter 30

"_Yes, when the spider gives birth to its young, they too, are born as hideous as their parents. But be as it may, even a monsterous spider has the right to mate….."-_Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_Having to leave Christine after such a lovely morning out was so hard to do. I loved her with all my heart and when she begged me not to leave her it broke my soul to pieces. If only I wasn't the owner of Phantasma….If only we could be back in Paris, beneath the opera house, just the two of us and our music…..What a wonderful dream that would be. When the gates of Phantasma opened and the people poured in, I slipped from ride to ride making sure everything worked properly._

_I didn't like being out and about around Phantasma, because of the horrible stares, but what else could I do? I wouldn't go back to showing off my face in a freak show. Children pointed towards me and laughed. My heart ached at such a sight….If other children laughed at me, how was my own child ever going to look at me without laughing?_

_I was standing outside of the maze of mirrors, watching the crowds of people waiting to get inside. _

"_Erik!"_

_I heard my name suddenly being called, and turned, only to see the crowds of people going on about their business._

"_Erik!"_

_I heard it again, but this time, Christine was rushing to my side. Everyone looked over at the both of us, and it was making me nervous. Why! Why was she here? _

"_Christine?" _

_When the stares didn't stop, I quickly pulled her away and into the Phantasma library where we could be alone. She was pale, and extremely out of breath as if she had been searching for a long time. _

"_Christine, what is the meaning of this!" I growled. "Do you know what could have happened out there!"_

_But Christine didn't answer me. She only clenched her stomach, and fell to her knees. _

"_Christine?"_

_I rushed to her side to try and help her, but she only screamed in agony. _

"_Christine, tell me what's wrong?"_

_But she didn't. Something was terribly wrong with her, and I was wasting time. I scooped her body up into my arms, and took the back way to my flat. There were less people, and it was faster. I laid her down on my bed, and ran to fetch the doctor. I pushed past crowds of people, not caring one bit if everyone were staring at me. God! Why did I leave her! Why? I was so strung out that I burst into the hospital doors, and screamed for the doctor to help me. All the nurses seemed frightened, as if a wolf were standing in my place, snarling at each and every one of them. _

"_Mister E?" the doctor came running towards me, with a look of concern on his face. "What's wrong?"_

"_It's Christine. Something's happened, she needs help…."_

"_Right away. Take me to her."_

_Once more we took the back way so no one would see us. Once we were inside the flat, I was told to stay out in the main room so he could examine Christine in private. How badly I wanted to argue with him, but I didn't want to waste anymore time. I paced my foyer back and forth, listening to Christine groan in agony. What was he doing to her! My gloved hands sweated profusely as my heart raced a mile a minute. If something happened to the baby, I would never forgive myself. This was all my fault! I shouldn't have left Christine, I should have stayed…..better yet, I should have taken her back to Paris….Why!_

"_Mister E?"_

_I turned to see the doctor coming from the bedroom, removing his stethoscope from around his neck. _

"_How is she? What's wrong with her?"_

"_Why was she out wandering around Phantasma in such crowds and heat?" he kindly questioned._

"_I have no idea. I was working…..and…and she came running to me."_

"_She's extremely dehydrated, and the running has caused vaginal bleeding to occur again….She's also having contractions."_

"_She's not going into labor?" I gasped._

"_No, they're not labor contractions…She needs to rest, Mister E. She's under a lot of stress, and that's not healthy for the child. She's nearly five months along, and stress is not a good thing. I've stopped the bleeding, but she needs to stay in bed."_

"_Miss Christine does not live with me, Dr. She has her own flat on the other side of Phantasma. When would she be able to move?"_

"_I wouldn't. Not for at least a week. If she moves before then, she could bleed again and possibly cause a miscarriage."_

_My heart ceased in my chest. If something ever happened to this child, I would never forgive myself. _

"_Make sure she drinks plenty of water and gets her rest. If her condition worsens make sure you come and get me right away."_

"_And what of her contractions?"_

"_They'll come and go until she heals. Nothing to worry about though."_

_Everything was taking a turn for the worse. My poor Christine was in agony, and I couldn't do anything to help her. When the doctor left, I went to the kitchen and filled up a glass with water before returning to my bedroom with it. Christine was laying there in my bed groaning in agony, and pushing her head against my pillow._

"_Christine, I brought you some water."_

_I had to stay calm for Christine's sake. I was livid about this whole situation, but I couldn't go off on her because it would only make her stress more severe._

"_Thank you, Erik."_

"_What were you thinking, Christine? Running like that through the crowds and heat."_

_Christine looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I had upset her! Damn me! Damn me for being the monster that I was!_

"_I…I was so scared, Erik."_

"_Scared about what?"_

"_Someone….Someone came to the flat….I thought they were going to come in and take me away, Erik…"_

_Damn me! Damn me for leaving her! Phantasma was now open to the public! I would make the bastard curse the day he dare prey on the woman I love!_

"_D…Don't ever leave me, Erik. I don't want to be alone….."_

"_Shhh….it's ok." I cooed, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "You're going to stay with me for a while. You must rest, my love."_

"_Oh, Erik, it hurts so much…."_

_I sat with her, rubbing her stomach as she drank the water I brought in with me. _

"_No one is ever going to hurt you, Christine."_

"_I love you with all my heart, Erik."_

"_As do I…."_

_I stood up, and gave her another kiss._

"_Now rest, my love. Erik must work. But he promises to be back tonight. Just promise him that you'll stay in bed until then."_

"_I'm sleepy."_

"_All the more reason you should rest. I'm locking the door on my way out. You will get out of bed for no one, do you hear me? Doctor said you must stay off your feet until you're better. He said getting up and moving around could cause extensive damage to the child."_

"_I won't get up." she weakly promised._

"_Good."_

_The remainder of the day was extremely hot. I sweated beneath my suit jacket as I traveled throughout Phantasma. The crowds made everything ten times worse, and beneath the mask I was having a hard time breathing. Usually July and August were the most brutal months of the year….It was brutal now…I couldn't imagine what July and August would be like. That night, after the park closed down, I collected the ticket stubs, and hurried back to my flat. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I stripped off my mask, and shirt to breathe easier. My whole body was moist in sweat, and I smelled awful. Instead of taking a bath and wasting valuable work time, I sprayed some of my cologne under my arms, and took a seat at my desk. _

"_Erik?"_

_I looked over at my bed to see Christine looking at me._

"_Yes?" I wheezed._

"_You sound horrible, is everything alright?"_

"_Yes, it's just unbearably hot outside."_

"_Erik you shouldn't work in such heat. Your mask will suffocate you, especially with the thick sheep's wool caressing your face."_

"_I'm fine, Christine, just rest."_

"_Are you mad at me?"_

_I paused from counting my ticket stubs, and groaned._

"_No, I'm angry with myself. I shouldn't have left you…..You're my wife for God's sake….Maybe not legally, but we made each other a promise before God that we would love one another through sickness and in health…..I left you, Christine…..We could have lost our child today, and it's all because of me."_

"_No, Erik, I shouldn't have ran. But trying to find you in that crowd was like trying to find the exit of your "Maze of Mirrors." It was so hot…and all I wanted to do was find you before the stranger did. I was so scared, Erik…."_

_She was crying now. No, I wouldn't have this! I quickly rushed to her side, and cradled her body against my own._

"_Christine, you must stay calm for the baby's sake. Please don't cry, Christine."_

"_Will you sleep beside me?"_

"_Of course, Christine. But I must work now."_

_I stayed at Christine's side until she fell asleep. When she was calm and no longer crying, I gently laid her down on my pillow, and snuck back over to my desk to work. I counted the ticket stubs, and the daily earnings before writing it all down. When my grandfather clock struck midnight, I blew out the candles and crawled in beside Christine. She was so beautiful in the moonlight….so beautiful that I felt like a complete fool…I didn't deserve this woman laying beside me….I didn't deserve to be fathering her child. I fingered her curls ever so softly, and she sighed into my chest. Even in sleep she was purely an angel…_

"_Tell me what to do, Christine." I cooed. "Tell me what to do with you?"_

"_Erik?" _

_Christine opened her tired eyes, and kissed my collarbone ever so softly._

"_It's late, mon ange, you should go back to sleep."_

"_I love you, Erik….really I do."_

"_Christine, I love you more than anything in the world. But I need you to tell me what to do."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Tell me what you want, Christine. Do you want to go back to Paris, move back to the opera house and live happily ever after with just our music? Oh, angel, I would do it…I would sell Phantasma in a heart beat, if that would make you happy."_

_Christine's eyes glistened with tears and she smiled._

"_You….You would really do that, Erik?"_

"_For you, I would rip out my beating heart, Christine."_

"_But that would be so foolish, Erik."_

"_Tearing out my heart? Nonsense…"_

"_No, selling Phantasma. Why would you ever consider doing such a thing. You've bettered yourself, Erik. You've grown up…..Would you really consider going back to being the Phantom again?"_

"_Yes, if that would truly make you happy."_

"_Erik, that would do anything but make me happy. You've come a long way the past ten years. You're sociable, you can walk among men without fear….Oh, Erik, I would never want to move away from here."_

"_But what about my job?" I cupped her warm cheek. "What about the pain and loneliness I cause you? Wouldn't it be wonderful to just move somewhere and have nothing interrupting our love and being together with our music?"_

"_I love our life, Erik. We're going to have a baby….I want our child growing up around Phantasma…."_

_I kissed her neck, and heard her sigh against my touch._

"_You are indeed the most wonderful wife I could have ever asked for."_

"_And you're the best husband in the world."_

"_I'll take care of you, Christine, I promise…"_

"_I know…"_

_And I did. It was the hardest week of my life, but I wouldn't fail Christine…not now, and not ever. I worked in between shifts, I would rush around Phantasma in the terrible heat, making sure everything was going as planned. When ever I would have a few moments to spare, I would rush back to my flat to check on Christine. Her contractions were causing her pain, and I would sit with her through every one, squeezing her hand and telling her everything was going to be alright. When she would calm down, I would leave her again to get some more work done. At night, I would sit at my desk, working away on what ever I needed to get done while watching over Christine. I was so exhausted by the time morning came, and I would need to get dressed and be on my way. I have gone days without sleep before, but my age was getting the best of me. I wasn't old, but I wasn't young either and my body just wasn't what it used to be. _

_The third day of taking care of Christine was the worst day of my existence on Coney Island. It was extremely humid, and I was having trouble breathing through my mask. The crowds were even worse than before, and so were the stares. Most of my rides were having technical glitches, and so I went from ride to ride hoping to fix the problems. I was sweating so much that my white shirt was drenched to the bone. I was on my last ride around noon time….the coaster. I was underneath the cars with my tools, fixing a leak. I was sweating, so badly, that my heart was pounding against my chest. My world began to spin, and my breathing became labored. I fought to stay conscious, but the next thing I knew, I passed out. _

_When I awoke, I felt ice against my head, and I was laid out on the sofa in my office. _

"_Boss? Boss, are you ok?"_

_I looked up to see my employee Mr. Squelch standing over me with a doctor._

"_Fine." I groaned._

"_Mister E, you've passed out from heat related trauma."_

_I tried to stand up, but my feet gave out._

"_Take it easy, Mister E. You need to relax."_

"_I'm fine, I have to get back to work."_

_I pulled the ice pack off my head, but the doctor stopped me._

"_The only place you're going is home to rest. You could have gotten yourself killed down under those cars. Thankfully, Mr. Squelch was there to pull you out."_

"_I need to get back to work."_

"_Do you want to die?" the doctor scoffed. "You need to take that ice and go home."_

_I hated doctors. I hated them so much, and if not for Christine I would have gone back to work. To make sure I made it home ok, Mr. Squelch escorted me. He even tried to help me up the stairs, but I yelled for him to leave me be. When I opened the door, Christine was laying in bed knitting more clothes for the baby. She seemed rested, and doing much better than yesterday. _

_When she saw me walking through the door, I heard her gasp in fright, and my angel got out of bed to assist me._

"_Christine, go back to bed!" I demanded. _

"_I'm feeling much better now, Erik. God, what's happened to you? You're not breathing correctly."_

_I plopped down on my chair, and pressed the bag of melting ice against my forehead._

"_Christine, I'm fine."_

"_Erik, I think I'd know if my husband were fine or not. You're anything but fine…." she dabbed a towel against my sweat soaked neck. "And you're covered in burns."_

"_I said I'm fine. I was sent home to rest….doctor's orders." I growled. "Now leave me be."_

"_So something did happen at work. Erik, tell me…."_

_By now I was completely aggravated with Christine's mothering. I wasn't a child for Christ sakes! I was a middle aged man! _

"_I passed out under the coaster cars, ok!"_

_Silence filled the room, and I pressed the bag closer to my skull. A terrible headache was beginning to set in, and my once sweaty skin was starting to sting._

"_You don't have to shout." Christine replied, a hint of sadness buried within her voice._

"_If you want to help me…..just draw me a cold bath."_

_Christine didn't say another word, and walked away to do as I had asked her. After washing myself, I laid in bed pressing the bag of ice against my exposed skull. As much as I hated not working, my body sure needed the rest. _

"_Erik?"_

_I heard my voice being called from the doorway, only to look over and see Christine standing there with a glass in her hand. _

"_Yes?" I cringed._

"_I brought you some water and salve for your burns."_

_Be nice, Erik….that's all I had to keep thinking. My temper wanted to come out, but I couldn't let loose on Christine. No, she was only trying to help me. _

"_Thank you."_

_My thank you was what Christine was looking for. As soon as she heard me say it, she came walking into the room, and sat at my side. I took the glass out of her hands, and drank the cold water, as she began to rub some of the salve into my neck….._

"_Erik, does that feel better?"_

"_Yes. I'm sorry about earlier. I've been so upset with myself lately."_

"_It's alright. The good part is that I'm feeling much better now."_

"_And the baby?"_

"_Good too….I'll stay tonight, and then tomorrow before sunrise you can take me back to my flat."_

"_Going so soon?" I gasped._

_Christine shrugged her shoulders._

"_I should be going. If I stay too long, people will start to notice it, and…..well, you know we already discussed this."_

"_The stranger that was at your door, Christine. Did you know him? Have you ever seen him before? What did he look like?"_

_Christine's fingers paused from rubbing the salve into my neck._

"_Christine?"_

"_I…I never seen him before in my whole entire life."_

"_What did he look like?"_

"_I…I didn't get a good look at him. When I didn't answer the door, he just vanished after a while."_

_I kissed her gently to calm her down, and cupped her cheek._

"_Christine, I'll keep a better watch over the flat, this I promise you."_

"_Thank you, Erik."_

_Christine stood to her feet, and wiped her hands on a towel. _

"_Rest now, Erik. The salve should help with your pain."_

_It broke my heart to see Christine in such a frightened state, but I made a promise to myself that I would watch over her more closely. Who ever that man was sure as hell wasn't going to ever harm my angel. How dare someone come into my park only to seeking to do horrible things! If there was one thing I knew, it was that it wouldn't happen again! I'd die before I would ever let something bad happen to Christine. _

_That night, Christine crawled in bed beside me, and I wrapped my arms around her as I slept. Sometimes, I could feel our child kicking against my hands….It was such a wonderful feeling…..I feared for the appearance of this child more than anything else. I was supposed to be nothing more than an uncle towards it, but if it came out looking like me, people would surely know who's child it really was. Oh, and what a life of hell that would be not only for the child, but for Christine as well. I still had a few more months until the birth, and at the moment there seemed to be nothing wrong with the baby….So says the doctor, but what do doctors know anyway? Can they look at Christine's stomach, magically see through her skin and see what the child looks like? No! which is why I only trust doctors as far as I could throw them…..I was a master genius at everything known to man, but there was one thing I couldn't master, and that was seeing into the future and being able to see past Christine's stomach to view the appearance of our child….but…if only I could….It would ease my troubled mind…_

* * *

**Ok….I promise you that Raoul is not gone! His appearance will be soon, but this chapter needed to be written to show that Christine was lying to Erik about him….Anyway, please review! Love you all!**


	31. Chapter 31

"_In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning_

_And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be_

_It scared me out of my wits_

_Raoul crushing me to bits…._

_Then I opened my eyes and the nightmare was with me."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae

**Christine's POV**

_How I got away from Raoul was a complete miracle in itself. When I heard someone knocking at the door, only to look through the peep hole and see Raoul standing there, my world came crashing down. The curtains were pulled over the window making it impossible for him to see inside. I sat there against the door, praying that he would leave. I prayed to my father to help me, I prayed to the lord above to move Raoul away from the door. Oh, how did he find me? How on earth did he know where I was staying? He continued knocking at the door, but never said a word…..Maybe he didn't know I lived here. Maybe he was just here hoping to get directions to someplace else. Finally after ten minutes, I heard him walking down the steps. He was leaving! God! He was leaving!_

_I had to find Erik, I couldn't stay here and wait for him to return. I waited just enough time to make sure he wasn't around before darting out the door and into the crowded streets of Phantasma. It was extremely hot, and trying to find Erik was like trying to find a needle in a haystack but I kept trudging along. I was running so fast, that I was bumping into and knocking people over. By the time I found Erik, I was in so much pain that I couldn't walk any further. He yelled at me, but all I could think about was the pain._

_Why had I ran? Damn it, Christine, you're carrying a child! But I knew if I ever came in contact with Raoul, my child would never see the light of day. I was told I was to stay in bed for a few days by Erik, and I did just that. I sat there in bed knitting cute little outfits for our child, while Erik worked. I was experiencing painful contractions due to my running around, but Erik was right there to hold my hand and get me through each one. By the third day of being in bed, I felt a whole lot better. My contractions had stopped, and I was in very little amount of pain. That was when Erik came through the door looking as if he'd just walked the desert for thirty days. His flesh was covered in sun burns, and his clothes were soaked with sweat._

_As I cared for him, I told him that I would be returning to my flat in the morning. As much as I wanted to stay with Erik, I knew I couldn't. People were going to start suspecting things if they saw me standing near the window or coming from the stairs. But I had done something I never thought I would ever do….I lied to Erik. He had asked me about the stranger who came knocking at my door. I told him that I never seen the man in my entire life, and that I was frightened that he was going to come and take me. Yes, I had been truly afraid, but not knowing the man was a lie. I couldn't tell Erik that it was Raoul. Erik had to stay out of the situation as much as possible, and by telling him that Raoul was on the island would only cause problems not only for myself, but also for him. Raoul was here for me, and the more I kept Erik out of the situation, the better chance he'd stay safe._

_Erik slept that night beside me. He was in so much pain from his sunburn, but he refused to unwrap his arms from around me. The following morning, before Phantasma opened, I dressed myself and got ready for Erik to take me back to my lonely flat._

_"Are you sure you want to go?" Erik asked, buttoning up his shirt in front of the wardrobe closet._

_"Erik, please don't make it harder than it already it. I'm fine, really."_

_"I know you have to return to your flat, Christine, but the doctor said a week."_

_"Maybe he did, but I feel fine. And I promise to lay down as soon as I get there." I paused, thinking of another excuse to return home. "And besides, Skimbleshanks probably misses me."_

_After placing on his mask, Erik came forward and locked the flat after we both stepped out. It was still a little dark out, making the possibility of anyone seeing us impossible._

_"I'll come by tonight around eight. Phantasma should be closed by then."_

_"Ok."_

_When we approached the stairs of my flat, Erik leaned in and kissed me._

_"I love you, mon ange. I'll be back before you know it."_

_I smiled._

_"I know you will."_

_"Would you like me to walk you in?"_

_I looked up at the brightening sky._

_"No, it's getting light. You should go get ready to open the park."_

_Erik kissed me once more before walking away. If there was one man I truly loved, it was him. I couldn't wait until tonight…I would make him dinner and then maybe we could take a moonlit walk on the beach. Yes! That's something we never did before. It was all perfect. I slowly walked up the stairs, and through the door of my flat. The curtains were still pulled over the window, and the flat was in complete darkness._

_"Skimbleshanks, I'm home." I called out, fondling around for the lights._

_"Skimbleshanks, here boy…..I bet you're hungry."_

_Usually when I walked through the door, Skimbleshanks would be circling my feet. But he wasn't coming, and I found it completely strange._

_"Skimbleshanks?"_

_Finally, my hands found the switch, and in an instant the lights came on. Only when they did, the sight before me made me want to run out of the flat. There in my arm chair was Raoul, with Skimbleshanks in his lap._

_"Hello, Christine." he sneered._

_I backed up against the door, and gasped in fright. I wanted to leave, but I didn't want Erik getting involved….no, there was no escaping this time._

_"What's the matter?" he sarcastically asked, standing up from the chair. "Aren't you glad to see me?"_

_I couldn't tell him the truth, I couldn't tell him that I wasn't. I looked down at my feet, and tried to stay as calm as possible._

_"Yes….Raoul, I'm…I'm very happy to see you."_

_"Christine, I think you're lying."_

_He was standing in front of me now. He reached out his gloved hand, and took my chin to raise my eyes to meet with his green ones._

_"I think I'd know if my wife were happy, and right now, you don't seem to be."_

_"Why…Why have you come?"_

_"Why have I? why have I come? Christine, you're my wife!"_

_"Raoul, didn't you get my letter…"_

_"And didn't you get mine? Christine, I'm not letting you go that easily. I made a vow on my wedding day to love you until death do we part, and I plan on doing just that. Now tell me, where is this so called "man" you've been staying with?"_

_I was shaking, but trying to keep my body as still as possible as not to encourage Raoul to make any sudden assumptions._

_"He's….he's dead. He was an old man…."_

_Raoul laughed so loud that it echoed off the stone walls of my flat, sending shivers down my spine. Raoul's laugh sounded evil, unlike the kind warm hearted laugh Erik possessed._

_"He died?"_

_"Yes, and he…he left his money to me. I was the only one he had left to trust. He was kind, Raoul." I lied._

_Raoul took a step back and took a good look at me._

_"Christine!" he gasped. "You're with child!"_

_"Yes, I am….and…."_

_"My child? Christine! How dare you write me and not tell me that you're carrying my child!"_

_I sighed in relief. I would have thought for sure that Raoul would know the child wasn't his. But apparently he didn't know math very well. The last time he and I made love…..if you can call it that…was a few weeks before I left him. It had been more like rape. He came home drunk, and forced himself on me. I guess he assumed I was more than five months pregnant. But I couldn't tell him the truth in fear of him destroying the child within me right now…._

_"I'm sorry, Raoul…I was….I was scared."_

_"Scared? Scared of what?"_

_"I don't wish to be married to you anymore. I like it here in Coney Island and I'm staying."_

_"What? Here with the freaks? The…the popcorn covered alleys! Christine, you are my wife, and I know what's good for you! This Phantasma is a total disaster! The gypsy camps back in Paris are better than this dump."_

_"Don't you dare call it that, Raoul. The man who created this place is a genius."_

_"I highly doubt that, Christine. Christ, it's made your little friend Meg into a vaudeville whore…If her mother could see her…."_

_"Meg? How do you know about Meg's job?"_

_"Oh, she's the one who told me you were living here. I came upon her by accident actually. She didn't want to tell me at first, but I lied and said you've been writing to me, begging me to come see you."_

_"What? How could you do that?"_

_"I needed to find you, Christine. This place is gigantic. I could have been looking for you for months."_

_"And you can keep searching for all I care, Raoul. I'm not going with you."_

_"I thought you would say that, which is why we're going to work out our problems right here in Phantasma before returning to Paris. We need a vacation after all, Christine."_

_"There is nothing to fix, Raoul. You've beaten me and drank yourself into oblivion for the past ten years. I don't want anything to do with it anymore."_

_"Right. Like you don't have your fair share of problems. Do you think I haven't heard you screaming out in your sleep for him."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"It drove me to drink, Christine. You would wail out to the Phantom in your sleep. "Help me, Help me! He's after me!" Raoul mocked. "The Phantom is after me."_

_I never knew I did that. Usually the dreams I would have about Erik were nice ones…..Maybe Raoul was so drunk that when he heard me shouting for Erik he thought I was having a nightmare…._

_"You still think about him, don't you?"_

_"No! he's dead, remember. The mob found him."_

_"And thank God they did."_

_Raoul took out his watch, and smiled._

_"Ah, the bars are opening now. But I will return tonight around eight thirty. You will make dinner, and then we shall talk."_

_"No, Raoul."_

_He violently grabbed my wrists, and pulled me closer to him._

_"Yes, Christine! I want dinner and I want it on the table by eight thirty or else…."_

_He then let me go, and headed towards the door._

_"Don't disappoint me, Christine."_

_With that, he slammed the door shut, leaving me to sob. I was caught in between two worlds; the one I wanted with Erik, and the one I dreaded with Raoul. It was a lose-lose situation. If I told Erik, he would go after Raoul, if I told Raoul, he would go after Erik….But that was the least of my worries. Erik was coming back at eight and Raoul was coming at eight thirty. What was I going to do? I couldn't let Erik see Raoul coming through the door. I Had to do something, but what? I didn't want Erik to get hurt, and I knew he would if Raoul got a hold of him._

_I loved Erik with all my heart, and I knew in order to get him out of here by the time Raoul came was going to call for something drastic. Yes, I could just leave the flat, but then Erik would come looking for me, and so would Raoul. And I dreaded the thought of Erik finding me first….Raoul could come up behind Erik and…God! I couldn't let this happen._

_That day I cooked dinner, dreading tonight. I was so nervous about Erik and Raoul that I couldn't even stir my cake batter right. By the time eight o clock rolled around, I was so nervous that I could hardly stand up straight. When I heard the door open, I braced the kitchen counter, my face filled with tears, dreading the thought of turning._

_"Christine, I'm here." It was Erik. He sounded so happy, and I was about to break his heart._

_I turned around, only to see him walking through the door, carrying a beautiful hand carved cradle. It was stained in beautiful paint, and had carvings of circus animals engraved in its side. Why! Why couldn't I just tell Erik the truth? Why did I still feel the need to break his heart over Raoul?_

_I watched him place it down on the far end of the room, and turn to me with a huge smile on his face._

_"Mon, ange, I've been working on this for….." he paused, noticing the tears in my eyes. "Christine, what's wrong?"_

_I couldn't back down now, no matter how beautiful the cradle was._

_"Christine? Tell your Erik what's wrong? What has made her so sad?"_

_I stood there thinking about something to make me angry. Anything! I dug down to the deepest memory of Erik that I had. Oh, but what could anger me enough to go off? Then it came to me….the night he made love to me and left before morning came…Yes, that angered me….so much that it began burning my blood enough to go off on him over a lie I was thinking of within my head._

_"You!" I shouted. "You're the cause, Erik! You've always been the cause!"_

_Erik seemed shocked, and backed up against the wall._

_"Wh…what do you mean? Christine, tell me wh…"_

_"I am! And you never listen to me! Do you think I like sitting up here pregnant and all alone! Waiting for you to come and see me like your mistress!"_

_"Christine, it's not….you know it's not like that. Come, please calm down…."_

_But I couldn't stop! I had to make sure he left. It was not ten after, leaving me only a few more minutes to seal the deal….God, what could I say to make him leave? What could make him want to leave?_

_"Leave!" I cried, not wanting to hurt him anymore. "Just leave me!"_

_Erik didn't….he didn't move at all._

_"Christine, let us talk about this? We always could, and make it better."_

_Damn you, Erik! Why do you always have to be so stubborn?_

_"Talking does nothing! I'm sick of it!"_

_And then I did something that I had never meant to do, something I should have thought about before acting on it. I placed my hand over the invisible wedding ring Erik had given me on the night of our marriage before God, and tore it off._

_"I don't want to wear this anymore! It's done with!"_

_And then I threw it._

_The room fell silent, and Erik placed a hand over his chest. I could see tears falling from his eyes, as he walked out, sobbing as if he had just lost the love of his life. When the door slammed shut, I too, sobbed. No, I couldn't do this!_

_Quickly, I ran to the door and opened it hoping to find Erik walking away, only It was Raoul who was now standing at the door._

_"Ah, nice opening, Christine." he laughed, barging himself into my flat. Only when Raoul passed and the night was visible, Erik was no where in sight._

_"Close the door, Christine." he growled. "Don't let the damn heat in."_

_How badly I wanted to go after Erik, but I couldn't. I knew I would only be leading Raoul to his prey if I did._

_"Christine, did you hear me!"_

_I quickly shut the door, and wiped my eyes before turning. Yes, I was upset, but I couldn't let Raoul see me like this. When I turned around, Raoul was already sitting at the table, piling his plate with the food I had cooked…..for Erik._

_"What on earth have you been doing these past months, Christine? It sure as hell wasn't learning how to cook…..The maids back home do a better job than you."_

_Erik loved my cooking. I loved my cooking, but Raoul…..God, why couldn't I have just run off with Erik._

_"Get me some wine, Christine." he ordered holding up his glass._

_"I…I don't have any. I can't drink because of the baby."_

_"Well damn you, you selfish wench." Raoul threw a plate up against the wall, causing it to smash into a million pieces. "You knew I was having dinner here tonight, and yet you didn't walk your ass into town and get me a bottle. Try thinking of someone other than yourself for once, Christine. And you're my wife, for God's sake. You know I drink wine with my meals."_

_I knew Raoul was already drunk, for I could smell the whisky fermenting all the way across the room to where I was standing._

_"I'm sorry…" I cried._

_"Just don't make that mistake again. Now what else do you have to drink in this dump?"_

_"Just water…"_

_"Just….water? Didn't this man that you've been staying with leave you any money?"_

_"I…I told you he did."_

_Raoul filled up his glass at the sink, and sat back down._

_"It doesn't matter. Not even water is going to wash down the disgusting taste of this meal."_

_I treaded into the kitchen, and took a seat at my side of the table._

_"I thought you came here to make things better?"_

_"Aren't I?"_

_"You're drunk."_

_"I am not! I am simply on holiday, enjoying myself. This is your whole problem, Christine! You never know how to have fun. You're always such a killjoy…Even when I invite my buddies over to play cards. You moan and groan like a selfish bitch until they leave."_

_"Stop it, Raoul."_

_"Ah, so you admit it! When you get back to Paris, it's going to change! When ever I want to have my friends over you will serve us beer and nuts without complaining!"_

_"I will do no such thing! I am not your slave….What happened to you, Raoul? What happened to the sweet boy I met back at the opera house? The boy I loved?"_

_"He's dead, Christine. This is me…."_

_"It wasn't always…"_

_"Yes, the Phantom might have been angry all the time, but he had a soft spot."_

_"For you! Enough about him!" Raoul smashed another plate. "You loved him didn't you? It wasn't God damn good enough that I risked my life to come save you from him was it? No, you had to go and kiss his…..Christine!"_

_"He loved me, Raoul."_

_"And you loved him…"_

_"I loved you…..But…he needed me."_

_"He needed death! Death and nothing more! I'm glad the mob killed him! I wish I could have been the one to kill him."_

_Raoul picked up the large carving knife that was sitting on the table, and held it up._

_"I would have taken a knife and stabbed him so far into his beating heart…"_

_"Raoul, he let you go! He could have killed you! But he didn't…."_

_"Because he loved you…..Tell me, Christine. If none of that happened, what would have been your choice?"_

_Raoul played with the knife, running it softly over his nails._

_"What do mean? choice?"_

_"So do you spend your days with me? Or do you send him to his death!" Raoul mocked…_

_I remembered the lines to Erik's final plea….Yes, if I could turn back time, I would have stayed with Erik. Not to save Raoul, but because I would have wanted to….but Raoul could never know this._

_"I…I would have done what ever possible to save you, Raoul."_

_Raoul slammed the knife down on the table._

_"That's right, Christine…"_

_Raoul stood up, and pulled me to my feet._

_"That's right, my love…. And why is that?"_

_I was shaking so badly…_

_"Because….because…"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Because I…I loved you."_

_"And now it's time to claim what's mine…"_

_I didn't understand what Raoul meant by this, but in a flash, I was pushed down against my bed, and Raoul was on top of me. I tried to punch him, but he was holding my arms down._

_"Stop fussing, Christine, you're my wife!"_

_"I don't want to be…"_

_"Now ain't that a bitch…Hold still!"_

_I screamed, and tried to fight back, but Raoul was more powerful than I was. He stuffed a rag into my mouth to stop my screaming….much like he used to do back in Paris. I was crying so hard, that my face was soaked…. I heard him lowering his trousers, but didn't dare to look at him._

_"You're going to like this, Christine. I am your husband! It's my right!"_

_Horrible memories came to mind as Raoul began to have his way with me. I never gave up trying to fight him off…_

_"Stop! Before I make you!" he groaned._

_But suddenly, he stopped, and I opened my eyes. He was looking at something….but what? I turned my head to see what he was staring at…It was the cradle!_

_"Christine, that wasn't there before…" he growled. "Where did you get it from?"_

_He pulled the rag from my mouth._

_"I…I don't know what you're talking about. It was there before…You're just too drunk, Raoul…"_

_"Don't tell me what I am! I'm not crazy, Christine! Now who was here? Who brought that for you?"_

_"No one!" I cried._

_The first punch was thrown at my face._

_"Tell me! Don't make me do it again!"_

_"A…A friend!" I sobbed. "A friend….stop hitting me….Raoul…the baby…please…"_

_"Shut up!" he growled, hitting me again. "A friend? Who was it? I want a name!"_

_"It was anonymous."_

_"You lie."_

_He punched me again, causing my nose to bleed._

_"If it was anonymous, you damn well wouldn't have known that it was a friend! I want a name, damn it! A name!"_

_I needed to get Raoul off of me before he hit me again. He let my arms loose just enough time for me to quickly reach over on the night table and grab hold of the porcelain horse Erik had given to me. And before Raoul knew what was coming to him, I slammed it's heavy bottom over his head._

_"Blast you!" he groaned, falling to the floor as his head began to bleed._

_I placed down the horse, and shot up from the bed to run to the door. But before I could open it, Raoul grabbed me._

_"Oh, no you don't. We're not finished yet, Christine."_

_"Stop! Just leave, Raoul!"_

_I managed to open the door, but couldn't run away for Raoul grabbed me again._

_"Let me go! Let go of me!"_

_Raoul pulled at my hair, and I pounded my fists into his chest….Suddenly, Raoul let go of my hair, and I lost my balance. I stumbled backwards, and fell down the staircase, hitting every single stair on the way down. My back cracked, my shoulders cracked…..and I landed on my stomach…..I slowly opened my eyes as my world spun around me. I was laying in something sticky….it had to be my own blood._

_When I saw shoes, I looked up to see Raoul standing over me…_

_"This isn't over, Christine. I'll be back soon….You're still my wife, and I plan on bringing you back to Paris if I have to drag you there myself…..Have a pleasant night, love…."_

_Raoul walked away….How could he walk away and leave his wife like this? I was now alone in the dark of the night…..and dying…and if I died, so would my child….our child.._

* * *

**Ok everyone….wow brutal chapter… Please review! And no, this is not the end of the story haha….**


	32. Chapter 32

"_Mad with passion, I bow before you_

_Till the day hell makes you my bride_

_I despise and adore you_

_I only want to die at your side."- _Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_The heart ache of what my angel, the love of my life had said to me was too hard to take…. She was happy…she at least seemed happy….What had made her change so fast? I had brought her a cradle for our baby, one that I had hand carved from a block of wood. I had been working on it for weeks, and finally finished it. She yelled at me, said I was the cause of her sadness, said that she didn't want to be with me anymore. God! She even tore off her invisible wedding ring and threw it across the room. At that point, I hurried back to my flat, my heart wailing in agony against my rib cage. I broke down and sobbed over my desk, fingering the handgun I kept in my drawer._

_She didn't love me! I had no reason to live! Christine was the only reason I was living and now that she didn't want me, I didn't want to be here. I lifted the gun to my head, and my fingers shook against the trigger, but before I could pull it I heard a knock at the door._

_"Boss?"_

_It was Mr. Squelch. What on earth did he want? And how dare he come knocking at my door!_

_"Go away!" I ordered, the gun still raised to my head._

_"It's important, it's miss Christine."_

_"What about her?" I questioned._

_When Mr. Squelch didn't answer, I slammed down the gun, and flew open the door to see him standing there. He was dressed in his usual trousers and black jacket, but something was different….he was covered in something dark…red perhaps? I wasn't sure because of the dark color of his jacket. But when I saw his hands, I knew right away what he was covered in….it was blood._

_"Mr. Squelch! I demand an answer!"_

_"You must come right away, sir."_

_"Why should I? In case you haven't noticed, I was in the middle of my work." I growled._

_"Miss Christine asked for you. I found her….she was laying at the bottom of the stairs to her flat…"_

_Why would Christine be asking for me? After all that she's said….after all that's happened just a short while ago._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"She was covered in a substantial amount of blood, and I think something's wrong with her child."_

_"What!" I didn't waste a second more, and donned my jacket. God, what's happened to her? What had my angel done? I was still feeling heart broken, but I couldn't waste another moment…._

_"Take me to her."_

_I didn't care that I was wearing leg braces, I ran as fast as I could with Mr. Squelch all the way to the infirmary. The night was humid and foggy, but that didn't slow me down one bit. I busted through the doors, and approached the front desk._

_"I…I need to see Christina Mulheim." I gasped out of breath._

_The nurse checked her chart, and looked back at me._

_"She's in surgery, Mister E."_

_"I don't care, damn it! I need to see her now!"_

_Mr. Squelch tried to calm me down, but it wasn't working. I was furious over this whole situation, and curious to know what in God's name happened to her._

_"Did she try to take her own life?" I shouted. "Answer me!"_

_"Sir, you need to calm down."_

_"I am calm! I just want to know what's happened to her!"_

_"We're not sure yet. When the doctor has finished with her, he'll let you know."_

_I knew if I continued acting like a mad man, I wasn't going to get anywhere but thrown out of the ward. I paced the room like a rabid animal, palms sweating and heart pounding. My heart was already sore from the horrible words said to me by Christine, but I wasn't about to give up on her. She and I shared a bond…..our child. For four hours I paced the room, checking the time and wondering what was taking them so long. Finally, at half past midnight, the doctor came walking out into the room._

_"Mister E."_

_I turned, my hands pale and trembling. If he told me Christine died, I would never forgive myself for leaving her. I would probably strangle the doctor as well for letting her die._

_"How is she?"_

_The doctor pointed to a chair in the corner of the room._

_"Take a seat. This may be a lot to take in."_

_I did as he asked, and the doctor took a seat beside me._

_"When can I see her?" I frantically questioned._

_"She's still under anesthesia. It will help with the pain that she's in."_

_"Tell me what's happened to her?"_

_The doctor sighed, and looked me in the eyes._

_"Christine is the only one who can tell you what really happened, Mister E. But from my examination, I can only tell you what I think happened."_

_"She didn't try to take her own life did she? God! How's the child?"_

_"Giving yourself a heart attack will do nothing." he said, trying to calm me down. "But I can tell you that Christine did not try and take her own life. The injuries inflicted on her are from an intruder."_

_"Intruder? What do you mean. I was with Miss Christine. Checking on her, really…. I left her five minutes into the visit."_

_I was trying to act as if I were nothing more than Christine's friend. I had to act that way in order to keep the suspicion of our relationship hidden._

_"And what of her husband? Could he have done this to her?"_

_"No, it's impossible. He's away at war."_

_"It doesn't matter really, but I can tell you that someone inflicted horrible bruises on her face and arms….and the ones on her inner thighs suggest that she was raped."_

_My heart shattered into a million pieces when I heard this. Raped? Christine, my Christine….How could anyone…..My blood began to boil. They will curse the day they ever dare take something that wasn't theirs to take….._

_"Are you certain she was raped?" I questioned, double checking before getting myself any angrier._

_"Yes, there was fluid."_

_I squeezed my fists tightly, trying to stay as calm as possible._

_"Somehow she must have tried to escape him, and wound up at the door to her flat. But there must have been a struggle because she has several fractures from falling down those stairs."_

_"And what of the child!"_

_"I….I don't know. She must have landed on her stomach when she hit the ground. I'm running some tests on her to find out about the child. She's bled again….a substantial amount….more than the last few times."_

_My child….my poor innocent child. I couldn't break down in front of the doctor or else he would know who's child it was. This was all my fault. I shouldn't have left…..I promised her….God, I promised her nothing would ever happen to her or this child, and yet, I let it happen._

_"You….you can see her if you'd like. She still might be a little woozy, but I'm sure she's wondering about you."_

_The doctor pointed to the privacy drape on the other end of the ward, and I began walking towards it. My child might die….that's all I could think about. The one chance for me to have a child of my own was slipping from my fingers at a fast pace. But what of Christine? My Christine hated me….. I was so strung out by the time I made it to the privacy drape, that I broke down and sobbed as soon as I was behind it. As I sat there on my knees, sobbing into my hands, I heard the weak whimper of Christine._

_"E…Erik?"_

_I wiped my eyes, and stood up to gaze upon her. My angel's face was marked with black and purple bruises, her nose was crusty with blood, and her arms had bruises around her wrists as if someone had been grabbing on to her._

_"I'll….I'll leave…" I sobbed. "I shouldn't have come….but oh, God, Christine, look at you….look…"_

_I couldn't even finish because I was choking on my own tears again._

_"I've caused you enough pain." I choked. "I'm leaving you everything. Tonight, I'm going home and ending it all, you'll have everything, Christine."_

_I felt Christine's hand grab my wrist weakly, and force me to face her._

_"Erik…..I…I…."_

_"What?"_

_"It's my…..hormones, Erik. Please say you hate me…"_

_"Christine, mon ange, how could I ever, ever dare to say such words?"_

_Her hand cupped my cheek, and wiped away my tears._

_"I don't, Erik. Tonight was a disaster, a pointless disaster. I never meant to say those mean things to you, especially to toss my ring…"_

_How badly I wanted to believe her, but something deep within my heart was telling me otherwise. I placed her hand over my heart, and felt the warmth of her hand._

_"It hurts, Christine, so much. My heart can't take much anymore. It hardly survived the night you left me back in Paris."_

_"I'm sorry, Erik….." she was sobbing now, so much that I could feel her tears flowing down her arm and onto my chest._

_"Christine, don't cry."_

_"I….I can't feel the baby, Erik." she choked. "I haven't felt it kick since I landed on my stomach. Oh, Erik what did the doctor say?"_

_I cupped her cheeks with my hands, and brushed them into her curls._

_"Shhh….calm down. He's running some tests to see if everything is ok."_

_"It's all my fault, Erik…..It's all my fault."_

_"No, nothing is your fault. If anything it's all mine. I shouldn't have left you, Christine. I promised to watch over you and this child, and yet….Oh, Christine, please let Erik take the blame."_

_"I can't….."_

_"Christine, you must tell me what happened tonight after I left. Please tell me."_

_"I…I don't remember."_

_"You must, Christine! You must tell me…..he…he raped you."_

_"Just pretend that it never happened."_

_"I will do no such thing! What are you afraid of, Christine? I'll catch the bastard and hang him by his shoelaces."_

_"Please, Erik, I don't remember anything. All I remember was that I fell down the stairs."_

_I turned away. I didn't believe her. She was afraid….but afraid of what? Had this madman threatened her in some way? I knew what ever it was, wasn't coming out of her tonight….not while it's freshly indented into her mind. She was in shock, but I was going to keep watch over her from now on. And when this person ever decides to come back, I'll be there waiting for him….. He would not get away with this! I stayed by her side that night and every other night of her recovery in the hospital. She hardly said much during those nights….But she was in a lot of pain, and so I didn't blame her._

_From her fall, Christine had obtained a fractured ankle and an extremely sore back. It took days, and hours of Christine being under watch, but she received the good news about the child still being alive. Though, there was no telling whether our child was going to be damaged or not….No, the horrible part was going to be having to wait until its birth. Yes, things indeed were different between her and I, but I still watched over her like a hawk. When it was time to leave the infirmary, Christine begged me not to take her back to her flat. I talked it over with the doctor, and he told me Christine was going to need to be watched over for the remainder of her pregnancy. And with strict orders and no family to watch over her, she was going to need me to do the job. This worked out to our advantage because with it being doctor's orders, there wouldn't be any rumors roaming around Coney Island._

_Christine's ankle had been fractured in her fall, and so she was ordered to keep it splinted and resting on pillows. To insure she was well taken care of, I brought most of my work home with me, and would do it while in between caring for Christine. And as much as she swore she still loved me, I had a hard time believing it. I know my heart would surrender sooner or later, but I wasn't ready….not just yet. Her horrible words stuck to my heart like cement on a sidewalk…..and words weren't going to be able to sponge away the pain easily._

_Though, I knew deep within my heart that I still considered myself married to her. For, I did everything…I cleaned, cooked, washed clothes, bathed her, brushed her hair, rubbed her ankle…..I did everything for her. And yes, day by day the pain slowly faded from my heart, but not enough to be back to my old, happy self._

_"Erik?"_

_I was sitting at my desk on afternoon finishing paperwork, when Christine called out to me from the bed._

_"What do you need?" I asked, never looking up at her._

_"Nothing…" she sweetly answered. "I just wanted to let you know that I felt the baby kick last night….. I was going to wake you, but….it didn't feel right."_

_"At least he's kicking." I said, not even thinking about what I was saying._

_"He?" she giggled. "What makes you so certain that it's going to be a boy?"_

_"I'm not." I firmly stated. "I wasn't thinking. He, she, it doesn't matter."_

_Her tone softened._

_"Erik, it's….it's nearly the middle of my seventh month. I've been staying with you for nearly two months now and we haven't even talked about this child."_

_"What is there to talk about, Christine?" I placed down my quill, and looked over at her._

_"Names, the gender of our child….anything."_

_"It is what it is, Christine. You wanting one gender and what it's going to be are two different things."_

_"I know, but what about names?"_

_"As far as names are concerned, you can name it what ever you want." I growled, going back to my writing._

_"Erik, this child is as much as mine as it is yours. This isn't how married couples do things…"_

_"Oh, is that what we are now, Christine? If I remember, you threw your ring across the room of your flat two months ago."_

_"I went back for it." she cried. "I'm wearing it….it was a mistake, Erik. Why won't you trust me again? I told you I was sorry didn't I? I've treated you like my husband for the past two months."_

_"You want to know why, Christine? Because you can't trust me! I've begged you time and time again to tell me who did that to you, and yet you still pretend to remember nothing."_

_"Because I don't!"_

_"You do!" I shouted. "You were raped! I for one remember the person who raped me! How can you forget that, Christine?"_

_I approached her bed, and looked her in the eyes._

_"Their eyes burning into your skull as they take advantage of you? The feeling of their hands against your flesh…..them making you tell them that you enjoyed it….Oh, Christine, mustn't lie to me…"_

_"Why can't you let it go, Erik? He hasn't been around for two months."_

_"Because you're here with me, Christine. You must tell me who it was. For when you have this child, I don't want to fear for you."_

_I turned, pressing my arms ever so closely to my chest._

_"Ever since you were raped you quiver at my touch…..You're still afraid of him coming back, Christine. I felt the same way when I was raped….We haven't made love in months….it's because you fear it….you fear the passionate touch of anyone."_

_"That's not true, Erik."_

_"Than what is?"_

_"That I love you." she cried. "Please believe me, Erik. I want things to be how they were, before all this happened. Please say you'll love me as you once did."_

_"I may still love you, Christine, but things…..things can never be as they were."_

_"And why not?"_

_"Because you don't trust me."_

_"I do, Erik! I trust you more than anyone in the whole world."_

_"But not enough to tell me what happened to you."_

_"I don't remember, Erik!"_

_Christine was in tears now. My anger has done nothing but make her cry. This couldn't be good for the child….Damn me!_

_"Christine, I'm going to make lunch." I suggested, switching the subject. "Are you hungry?"_

_She only nodded, and wiped away her tears. I dashed the kitchen, and prepared a few sandwiches before returning to the bedroom._

_"Sit with me, Erik." she begged._

_"No, I'm afraid I must run an errand to the opera house. I…I have to return the forms."_

_With that, I picked up the completed paperwork, and hurried out. It was in the middle of June, and extremely hot. I tried to stay away from the crowds as much as possible, and I was glad to see that most of them were piled on the beach. When I reached the back doors of the opera house, I hurried inside and into my office. I was only going to be there for a few seconds, and left the door ajar. In the background, I could hear the back up dancers singing the song "Bathing Beauty," one that I had written for Meg. If there was anything I despised, it was writing cheap vaudeville trash. I used to write beautiful arias for Christine, ones that would bring the audiences to tears….but now….all of that was in the past._

_"Erik!"_

_I heard my name being called, only to turn around and see Meg entering my office wearing her fishnet stockings and stage outfit._

_"Damn you, girl! What have I told you about calling me by my first name in the presence of the opera house!"_

_"Sorry."_

_"And what is this? Get out of my office. No one is allowed in here but me, being the reason why it's my office!"_

_"You know I would never seek you out unless it were important, Mister E."_

_"And what could be so important that you needed to come in here this very moment and disturb me from my work?"_

_I turned back towards my desk, and began searching for an envelope to place my paper work into._

_"It's Christine. I haven't seen her in months. I was hoping….hoping that…"_

_"That I would know where she is?" I smartly interrupted. "Why would I know such a thing?"_

_"Because I know you do. Please don't lie to me. I worry about her….especially after I told him where he could find her…"_

_I quickly turned upon hearing this._

_"What?"_

_Meg froze in place._

_"Who did you tell?"_

_"I…I wasn't thinking straight, Mister E….I didn't tell anyone…"_

_"You lie! Christine almost died because of what that bastard did to her. Now tell me who came looking for her."_

_"No one….I never seen him before in my entire life."_

_I backed her up into a corner of my office. She was going to tell me! I was going to make her!_

_"Meg, I'm not believing a word that's coming from your mouth. You know who came looking for her….don't lie to me…"_

_"I never seen him before…."_

_"And yet you gave him directions to Christine flat. Why would you give a complete stranger directions to Christine's flat! You lie!"_

_"Please, Erik, you're making me nervous."_

_"Meg, you have to help me." I growled. "Christine has refused to tell me who hurt her. She keeps lying and saying that she doesn't remember. She was raped, Meg…..Even I remember my rapist. You must help her….you're her only chance at staying safe."_

_"That bastard raped her?"_

_"Yes, and if you don't help me, he'll probably come back and do it again. I've never asked you for anything, Meg. But now, I come to you needing a favor. You know this person, don't you?"_

_Meg was in tears. She looked up at me, and simply nodded._

_"Yes? Is that a yes?"_

_"Yes." she repeated. "We bumped into each other by accident. He said he was looking for Christine because she's been writing him, begging him to come for her. Like an idiot I believed him."_

_"Meg, who was he?"_

_Meg trembled, and I forced her to look at me. And the words that escaped her lips sent blood boiling through my body._

_"It….It was him….it was Raoul."_

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Dun Dun Dun! More to come soon!**


	33. Chapter 33

"_Erik did not deserve to hear a single fib_

_He has given me the world and all there is to give._

_But when the times comes to find the truth out on his own_

_May the pain not be any worse than the abuse_

_His mother caused him way back home…"- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_My baby was alive….I thanked God for that. On that horrible night, Mr. Squelch had found me, and brought me to the infirmary where I begged for him to get Erik….I needed him, I wanted him! Erik came, but I knew from the sad look in his eyes that things were never going to be the same. For the next two months, I stayed with Erik in his flat. I was so afraid that Raoul was going to come looking for me, that when ever Erik touched me, I flinched. This upset him more than anything, and I cursed myself for doing it. Things were indeed different between him and I. Ever since I started flinching at his touch, his touches stopped….For weeks he begged me to tell him what happened to me, but I couldn't. He wanted to know who raped me, but still, I couldn't tell him. I was keeping him safe, and the only way of doing just that was to keep Raoul out of it. _

_But what hurt worse than anything was when Erik told me he didn't want to be involved with planning for the baby. He didn't care what we named it, and stormed out of the flat after making me lunch. If there was anything I wanted, it was for Erik to name our child. I wanted to give him the simple pleasures in life, and I knew letting him name our child would bring him such joy, or at least I had thought so. After finishing my lunch, I closed my eyes to nap, only to wake sometime later and notice a note sitting on the night table. I picked it up, and read Erik's scratchy handwriting._

"_Christine,_

_Meet me at Espoir at six._

_Erik."_

_I hadn't been outside in over two months, but getting fresh air would feel wonderful. After checking the time, I got out of bed and dressed before heading out. I arrived at Erik's restaurant just five minutes after six. I pushed past the lines of crowds standing outside, and into the chandelier lit room. When I made it to our usual booth, Erik was sitting there looking at his pocket watch with an impatient expression on his face. _

"_You're late."_

"_I woke up late." I replied, taking a seat across from him._

_Erik closed his watch, and slipped it into the lapel of his jacket. _

"_We're not eating." he snapped upon seeing me reaching for my menu. "It will save us from wasting time."_

"_What's going on?" I questioned, not understanding why he was acting as he was. _

_Erik gracefully folded his hands on top of the table and looked me straight in the eye._

"_I brought you here tonight, because I want to know something."_

"_What?"_

"_Christine, before I begin, I want to give you one last chance. Is there something you wish to tell me?"_

_I wasn't sure what Erik was talking about, and slowly shook my head._

"_No, Erik, what could I want to tell you?…."_

_He looked both ways, and then back at me._

"_Christine, I'm giving this chance to you, don't lie to me again. If you love me…"_

'_What are you talking about Erik?" I was beginning to get extremely nervous. _

"_You know damn well what I'm talking about, Christine." he growled. "This is your final chance, tell me…..or lose me…"_

"_Lose you? What? What are you talking about!"_

"_We both know…."_

_When I didn't answer him again, he pressed his eyes shut and before my own very eyes, he took off the invisible ring, and placed it down on the table. _

"_Erik….what's going on…."_

_Erik stood to his feet, and with a heavy heart said the words I had been dreading._

"_Your rapist was Raoul….and you knew."_

_With that, he began walking away. God! How did he find out? I couldn't let him just walk away, I had to stop him. I got up, and rushed through the restaurant and out the door. _

"_Erik….Erik, stop!"_

_Erik kept walking towards the darker part of Phantasma, not waiting up for me at all._

"_It's over, Christine. You lied, and yet….."_

_Erik was at the brink of breaking down in his own tears. I finally caught up to him, but he wouldn't look at me. _

"_Go away, Christine."_

"_Erik, please…."_

"_No! I mean it, Christine, it's over…."_

_And as if the world was crashing down over Erik's words, the lights of Phantasma shut off, leaving us in the dark. _

"_Erik, please forgive me. I…I did it for your own protection."_

"_I don't need protection! I never needed protection, Christine. I could have sent the police after him, and yet, you didn't tell me it was him! More like you're protecting him!"_

"_Erik…no…."_

_Erik grabbed my shoulders with his hands._

"_Tell me you love him still!"_

"_I loath him!"_

"_I don't believe you! Why? Why couldn't you tell me it was him, Christine? My own wife wouldn't even tell me who her rapist was…..Which is why this thing called "marriage" is no more."_

"_But…."_

"_I will hear nothing, Christine! It wasn't legal and I refuse to be married to a liar!"_

_It was then a loud clapping occurred. We both paused, only to look over and see Raoul laughing and clapping his hands together sarcastically._

"_Wonderful, monsieur, wonderful…." he sneered._

"_Leave us alone, Raoul." I yelled. "Just go away."_

"_You can't even get the monster to be with you, Christine."_

_Raoul began circling Erik._

"_And as for you, Monsieur. How dare you take another man's wife? You're such a monster, as if Christine would take you to bed."_

_Erik instantly pushed Raoul away for him, causing him to stumble backwards._

"_Incase you haven't noticed, boy, Christine is with child…..with my child."_

_Raoul's expression changed from happy to livid. _

"_What!" his eyes moved to me. "You bed the monster, Christine! I knew that old man you spoke about was bullshit. I knew within my heart that the Phantom was the man! You loved him…."_

"_I still do…" I cried. "Just go away. Go back to Paris."_

"_I will do no such thing." he whipped out his knife, and held it towards me. "You will go back with me, but not bearing that demon child!"_

_He came towards me, his knife pointed at my stomach, but Erik jumped in the way, whipping out his own knife._

"_Stay away from her!" Erik shouted. _

_Raoul laughed._

"_What are you going to do? You're nothing but a cripple." he said motioning to Erik's braces._

_Their knives clanked up against one another's._

"_What happened, demon? Did the mob bash your legs in with bats?"_

_I fell to my knees as I watched Erik and Raoul's shadow battle it out. This was what I feared….If something happened to Erik…..Why? Why had I lied?_

"_I'm going to finish you off…." Raoul scoffed. "And this time, Christine won't be able to save you."_

_For long minutes knives clanked together, nearly missing Erik's shoulder and heart. I prayed for this to be over, but when I heard a shout of pain, I looked over to see Raoul clutching his hand against his face. _

"_You bastard!"_

_Erik lifted me to my feet, and drug me along into Phantasma._

"_Erik, please…."_

_I held onto my stomach, already feeling pain entering my pregnant womb._

"_We need to keep moving." he gasped out of breath. "Come, we need to hide you."_

_Erik pulled me along until we reached the maze of mirrors. Once inside, he placed me down beside a mirror._

"_Now stay quiet." he ordered. _

_When he began to leave, I grabbed hold of his jacket._

"_Erik, don't leave me."_

"_I must. I'll return as soon as I can."_

_And before I could argue further, he was gone. I sat there in silence, breathing, and rubbing my stomach as the pain began to get worse. When I heard footsteps entering, I covered my mouth with my hand to silence my breathing. It was Raoul, it just had to be…._

"_Christine!" he shouted playfully. "Come out, and this will all be over. All I want is to rid you of that horrible demon. If you obey, I might even be able to forgive you for fucking that monster. We can say it was rape….."_

_I heard his knife running up against the glass of the mirrors. He was getting closer and closer….But when a horrible pain hit my stomach, I couldn't hold back from groaning…._

"_You are here!" he shouted. _

_I could hear him even closer now. I knew by staying put was going to be my child's death sentence. I shot to my feet, and moved from mirror to mirror, but my reflection began moving with me. Raoul must have been on the opposite side of the maze, because glass began shattering around me. _

"_Found you!" he would shout out before breaking another mirror._

"_Damn it! Just stay still!"_

_I was trapped in a maze, with Raoul coming closer to me. I was met with dead ends and endless circles. I could hear more mirrors smashing, but I finally found the door. Once outside, I rushed towards the coaster, hoping I would be able to hide in the cars. _

"_Christine! You can run, but you can't hide!"_

_I climbed the stairs of the darkened coaster deck, and laid down in one of the parked cars. I laid there praying that Raoul wouldn't come up here, but moments later, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. _

"_It's getting closer to the end…." I heard him say. "Just give yourself up…you're trapped."_

_I was waiting for Raoul to find me, but he flipped the switch to turn on the lights of the coaster….only when they lit, the line of cars I was in began moving. At least it was away from Raoul. I sat up so I wouldn't hurt myself, and looked behind me to see Raoul messing with the controls. My car was going up a hill, when I looked behind me and saw a large spark occur from the coaster deck. And it was then that my car stopped right near the top. _

_No! this couldn't be happening. When I looked behind me, I now saw Raoul climbing up the hill with a bundle of thick rope in his hands. _

"_It's over, Christine!" he screamed to me. "You're trapped with no where to go."_

_I wouldn't let this be the end. I stepped out of my car, and held onto the side of it as I walked carefully to the front. If I could get to the other side of the hill, I could probably climb down. I dared to look down at the ground, only to see that I was high up above Phantasma, and a huge crowd was gathering at the bottom. _

"_Give it up, Christine! You are my wife! And like it or not, you're coming back to Paris with me…."_

_It was then that Raoul grabbed me by my blouse. He was holding his knife so close to my neck. _

"_This is it, Christine."_

_I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain of Raoul's knife to occur, but instead, I felt him being pulled away. _

"_Erik!" _

_It was Erik….he pulled Raoul away and threw him into the line of coaster cars. _

"_Keep your hands off her!"_

_It seemed as though Raoul was knocked unconscious by Erik's force…..I sighed in relief, and watched as Erik gently grabbed hold of me. _

"_Are you ok?" he asked me, his voice calm and soothing._

"_I'm in a lot of pain."_

"_Let's get you down, and to the hospital, Christine."_

_Erik was about to help me when out of nowhere, Raoul came up behind him and threw a noose around his neck. Erik struggled to pull the rope away from his throat, but Raoul was pulling it tightly._

"_Keep your hand at the level of your eyes!" Raoul mocked with an evil laugh. "How does it feel, monsieur? A taste of your own medicine!"_

_As Erik struggled, Raoul faced him towards the crowd of people._

"_Look at your wonderful Mister E!" Raoul then tore away Erik's mask, exposing his hideous face. The people below gasped and screamed….It was horrible…._

"_And now your death!" _

_Raoul tied the end of the rope to the track, and threw him over the front of the hill. I yelled…oh, how I yelled…My poor Erik was struggling with the rope around his neck…The only reason he was still alive was because his hand was caught inside the noose, keeping the rope from tightening around his wind pipe. _

"_Stop struggling, monster!" Raoul screamed. "Just let yourself surrender to death!"_

_Suddenly, another spark occurred at the coaster deck, and the cars began moving. I lost total support of myself, and fell onto the track, watching the cars fall down the steep hill._

"_Now, it's my turn…."_

_Raoul took out his knife again, and slowly came towards me. His face was covered in blood from when Erik cut him with his knife, and he was limping from the struggle._

"_With the monster dead, I'm going to cut that demon child from you so he never lives again!"_

_I backed up as far as I could, with no place else to go. If I went any further, I was going to fall down the steep hill. Another episode took me over, and I found myself laying on the track in agony…._

"_Yes, you see, Christine…" Raoul growled. "You see what that demon child is doing to you. I can make it all go away."_

"_Raoul, stop this!"_

"_No! you are my wife!"_

"_I am not, not anymore!"_

_Raoul was now hovering over me, his knife pointed at my stomach. _

"_Until death do we part, love…."_

_I heard the coaster coming up the hill again…..Yes, yes, this would work…._

"_So is it death for you? Or for the demon?"_

_I looked up at him, and got ready to shove him towards the oncoming cars._

"_You." I said. _

_And with that, I pushed him in front of the cars. Raoul stumbled backwards, and with him trapped in front of the first car, he went over the hill, and fell to his death. The people down below screamed, and when I dared to look over the edge, I saw Raoul's body laying in a puddle of his own blood at the bottom of the tracks. Raoul was dead…..my marriage to him was finally over. I looked down at my left hand, pulled off the ring I had worn for ten years, and threw it over the hill._

"_Rest in peace, Raoul." _

_Erik! God, I hadn't even thought about him dangling from the hill. I clutched my aching stomach, and crawled to the top of the hill. When I looked over, Erik was trying to climb his way up, his hand still stuck within the noose. He looked extremely weak, and completely helpless. I stuck out my hand to him, trying to reach him._

"_Erik, grab my hand…"_

_He looked up at me, his face maskless and pale. When his hand clasped onto my own, I pulled him with all my might. _

_My poor Erik was completely out of breath by the time I got him over the edge and onto his back. I released the noose, helping him along as he gasped for air, the rope leaving a terrible red mark on his flesh. _

"_Breathe, Erik…."_

_He lay there fighting for air, as he coughed up droplets of blood. The police soon arrived, and a rescue brigade came to help us. We were both placed onto gurney's and carried down to the ground where there was an ambulance waiting to take us to the infirmary. As I laid there looking over at Erik who was in worse condition than me, I squeezed his hand, only to feel a light squeeze back. And in those seconds, I felt another burst of pain erupt within my womb, but this time, my water broke….._

"_Erik….Erik, my water broke."_

_The medic who was in the back of the ambulance with us, tried to calm me down, but I was anything but calm. I was only into the first week of my eighth month…This couldn't be happening! _

_I tried to call for Erik, but he wasn't responding to me. When we arrived at the infirmary, Erik and I were taken separate ways….No, Erik promised to be there for the birth of my child…If I was going to have this baby, I wanted him to see it…._

"_Calm down, Christine." I heard a familiar voice, only to see the doctor standing at my side. _

"_He needs to be here." I cringed. "He promised."_

"_Calm down. Mister E is in far worse condition to be worrying about you."_

_I was placed into a bed, and the privacy drapes were put up. I couldn't believe this! The doctor was just examining me as if nothing were wrong…. My water just broke, and Erik was nowhere in sight. _

"_Your water broke, Christine. Are you in a lot of pain?"_

"_Yes…." I gasped._

"_Any contractions yet?"_

"_No….Please, let me see Erik."_

_The doctor lowered his stethoscope. _

"_If you don't calm down, I'm going to have to put you out. You need to stay calm for the baby's sake, Christine. You're having a premature birth, and staying calm is the safest way to prevent harm."_

_He poured me a glass of water, and set it on the night table._

"_Now relax and I'm going to tend to your friend."_

_For the next few hours, I lay there feeling contraction after contraction….Where was Erik? I wanted him to be here with me so badly. I squeezed the bed sheets, pretending it was Erik's hand, hoping he would come around the corner at any moment. When the doctor reentered shortly after, he was accompanying Erik inside…. I sighed in relief, and looked at Erik who had a bandage wrapped around his neck. The doctor sat Erik at my side, and he intertwined his fingers with my own. _

"_Christine, Mister E cannot speak. The rope has damaged his vocal cords, but they will repair themselves."_

_The doctor took to the end of the bed, and examined me._

"_Now, we must take great care now. The slightest thing could cost this child's life. You must do everything I say."_

_As another contraction took grasp of me, Erik squeezed my hand to help me through it. _

"_Ok, push…." _

_I did as the doctor said, and gathered all the strength within me. _

"_Again…"_

_I could feel the little life within me, breaking though me, entering the world at last._

"_Just the shoulders now…..push, Christine."_

_Erik was squeezing my hand ever so tightly to get me through everything. I knew if he could speak, he would tell me to push. I took what ever strength was left, and forced out the last of my child. And then, for the first time, I heard my child cry….._

_It was such a beautiful sound….music to my ears…I laid back against the pillow, looking up at Erik who was stretching his neck to try and see our child. He seemed so worried, and I knew exactly why. _

"_It's a girl, Christine." I heard the doctor happily reply. _

_A girl! I had a daughter, Erik and I had a daughter. _

_The doctor turned around, with our child swaddled in a white blanket. He gently placed the small bundle down into my arms, and I took a deep breath before looking down at her. _

"_Please God." I thought. "Just let her be ok."_

_And then I looked…..Beautiful…She was absolutely beautiful. She had dark hair, my lips, Erik's nose, Erik's ears…..and Erik's eyes. When our daughter looked up at me for the first time, her eyes were the same mismatched blue color as Erik's. My baby girl latched onto my finger, and I smiled….Oh, how I smiled at her._

"_Erik….she's so beautiful."_

_Erik looked down at our daughter, and even though he couldn't speak, I could tell he was happy by the tears in his eyes. _

"_You and the child will stay in the hospital for a week's time to make sure everything is ok. Your child was a few weeks early, but it happens. I'll bring the birth certificate to sign in a little bit. I'm sure you want to think of a name."_

_When the doctor left Erik and I alone, I looked up at him, wanting him to name her. _

"_Erik…."_

_I tried to tell him, but he only placed a finger over my lips. I knew he was still angry at me….and probably always would be. I knew once we got out of the hospital, things were going to be indeed different. What to name her….She was so beautiful, and yet, it had to be something special, something….beautiful._

"_How about Eudora?" I asked._

_Erik simply nodded, and I stated her full name._

"_Eudora Madeline Mulheim."_

_Erik looked down at me, his expression full of anger._

"_Erik…I want her middle name to be your mother's."_

_He was shaking his head, but when I gave him my "I love you" expression, he finally gave in. _

"_Do you want to hold her?"_

_Erik shook his head, but I wouldn't have any of it…_

"_Erik, please, hold her….."_

_His arms were shaking as I placed our daughter into his arms. My little Eudora was asleep now, and the sight of the two of them was something wonderful. I had a daughter….But my life was anything but perfect. Things were about to change for Erik and I….For I knew his anger towards me was everlasting. I wanted him to sign the birth certificate, but the following day, news got out about Raoul's death, and my marriage to him….Not only that, but the papers also wrote that Raoul was my child's father…..Erik was heart broken when the snap shots of his face were plastered on the front page… He was called "A hideous genius." There would be no hiding from the world now…..My poor, Erik. He and I would never be the same again…. He wouldn't even sign the birth certificate. No, with everyone suspecting Raoul as the father, there was no way we could say this child to be Erik's. For if we did, people would call Erik an adulterer. No, Erik was going to be nothing more than an uncle…..When he was able to speak again, his voice was very low and raspy, as if he had a sore throat. The doctor also told him he would probably never sing again…..I was moved back into my flat, and Erik and I divided our time with Eudora. Erik offered me a job singing in his theater, but I refused, wanting to keep myself out of the spotlight. Instead, I took a job sewing costumes in the Phantasma costume department. Erik would watch the baby while I worked, and then I would take her during the night…..Yes, our child was special, but nothing in the world could mend our relationship back to the way it was. I knew by lying to Erik, I had broke his heart, and this time, it wasn't fixable…We were like friends and nothing more. _

_He wouldn't kiss me, touch me, or even flirt….No, I had ruined everything. If only I could turn back time….._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review…This story is headed towards the future a bit. Getting exciting! I uploaded this chapter because I won't be updating until next week….probably Monday. I'm off to a Harry Potter Party tonight and then Harry Potter part 7 tomorrow. Enjoy! I hope this was enough to satisfy you until the next upload!**


	34. Chapter 34

"_Sticky fingers, tangled hair_

_Scattered crayons everywhere._

_Dirty faces, grass stained knees_

_Learning words like "Pretty please"_

_Scrapped up hands from falling down_

_Tender tugs on my night gown._

_Messy fingers, hair gone wild_

_All in the life of my precious child."- _Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_My daughter was perfect. My daughter was completely beautiful! She was absolutely flawless, and she was me…. As much as I loved my daughter, I couldn't find it within my heart to go back to the way things were. I loved Christine but I was so afraid of her lying to me again and breaking my heart. No, she moved back into her flat with our daughter Eudora. I offered Christine the chance to become the diva she once was, but she refused saying that she wanted to stay out of the spot light. Instead, she got a job in the Phantasma costume department and was quite happy with that. I offered the watch our daughter during the day so Christine could work, and then at night I brought her to Christine's flat. This went on for years. In those years, I got to see our daughter take her first steps, speak her first words, and it made my heart leap with joy. Though, as much as I wanted to be her father, I couldn't be anything more than a close family friend._

_The bastard press saw my face and plastered it all over the morning papers. The stares became worse ever since that day….I was known as the "Hideous genius," and it hurt more than anything to know that people knew what I looked like. The lasso I was hung with had scarred my neck, and I was told I would never sing again….speaking was hard enough. Even four years later I was still struggling with my speech. Yes, I could talk, but my voice was still raspy, and sometimes I would stutter. Though, Christine never left my side, and her feelings never changed. She still smiled at me and laughed when in my presence….to her I wasn't the monster everyone made me out to be._

_Eudora had grown into a beautiful little girl. She had soft ebony hair that came down past her shoulders, gorgeous blue eyes, and Christine's smile. She was an extremely curious child, and when ever she would go through my things, I saw myself…..I was indeed a curious child when I was her age._

_I was sitting at my desk one morning, working on some of the closing statements for Phantasma. There was only a week left in the season, and would be closed down for winter. It was then that I heard the door opening._

_"We're here Erik." I heard my Christine happily chant._

_"And we brought breakfast." I heard Eudora's childish yet beautiful voice reply._

_I turned around to see my four year old daughter walking in beside Christine wearing a beautiful purple and white dress. In Christine's hands she had a box of pastries from the bakery. If there was one thing she always did, it was keeping me fed. She always brought me breakfast, and we had dinner together almost every night when she was finished with work._

_Eudora ran over to me, and wrapped her small arms around my neck._

_"Did you miss me, uncle?" she giggled._

_"Yes, those whole ten hours apart was driving me mad." I teased back._

_Christine smiled and pulled our daughter away from my neck._

_"Eudora, go easy on him, you know how sensitive his neck is."_

_"It's ok, Christine, really."_

_Eudora went to the other side of the room and began to play with the doll house I had given her for her birthday just a few weeks ago._

_"I'm sorry about that, Erik." Christine said, running her hands around my neck ever so softly. "She gets so excited sometimes."_

_"It's fine. You should really be going. You're going to be late for work, darling."_

_I turned back towards my work to continue writing, when I felt Christine's hands begin to gently glide through my hair._

_"Erik, I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I lay in bed at night wanting nothing than to feel your lips again."_

_"Is that really something to be talking about in front of the child?" I growled._

_"She can't hear us."_

_I sighed, and placed my quill down on the papers._

_"Christine, we've discussed this again and again. You know we can't be together in such a way. It still hurts, very much."_

_"I told you I was sorry, Erik. I shouldn't have lied….and I promised you I wouldn't do it again."_

_"Christine, please leave things as they are."_

_I knew Christine was unsatisfied with my answer, but it was the way things needed to be._

_"I'm…I'm going to get going now. I'll come back tonight."_

_"Yes, Eudora and I shall make dinner."_

_With that, my angel walked out. Once the both of us were alone, I went back to working, only to have Eudora come and lean on my desk._

_"What are you doing?" I asked._

_"My mother really likes you, uncle."_

_"Yes, and she really likes you too."_

_"Why don't you like her?"_

_"I do, Eudora, now go play with your dolls."_

_"But uncle."_

_"But nothing. I must work, and you must play."_

_When my daughter went back to playing, I continued working. Sometimes it amazed me to realize that my daughter had never asked me about my mask or about my face. She had never seen it, and I hope she never does. When I was finished with my paper work, I turned to see Eudora playing with her dolls in the corner of the flat._

_"I'm going into Phantasma to mail some paperwork."_

_My daughter smiled widely, and shot to her feet._

_"Great, I love going to Phantasma."_

_My daughter clung her little hand into my own, and we walked into Phantasma together. I carried my paperwork to my office, and bent over to reach for an envelope. Only when I turned back around, my daughter was no where in sight._

_"Eudora?" I called out her name, but she didn't answer. Yes, I loved my daughter with my whole heart, but sometimes she made me extremely angry, especially when she would disappear….she seemed to do it a lot, and she had gotten so good at it that she hardly made a sound when stepping away. Why did she have to be so much like me?_

_"Eudora?"_

_I stepped out into the hallway of the Phantasma opera house, only to see a nearby door wide open. I stepped into the doorway, spotting my daughter standing in front of a large mirror wearing one of the sparkling dresses my dancers wore on stage. The dress was too big for her, and the skirts were bunched up around her tiny feet._

_"What are you doing?" I growled. "You ran off again, oh, Eudora…."_

_She gasped, and turned to face me._

_"Sorry…."_

_"And what are you doing to my dresses?"_

_"I like it."_

_"You're ruining my dress. A dancer does have to wear it for the closing show tonight."_

_"I want to be a dancer."_

_My little daughter was so innocent, so innocent that I couldn't stay mad at her for more than a few moments. I pulled the dress over her head, and hung it back up._

_"You've got a long time to think about what you want to do for the rest of your life, little one."_

_"Uncle, what did you want to be when you were a child?"_

_This made me think. No one ever asked me that question. Did I ever think I would be living in Coney Island in my own amusement park? Definitely not. I should be back in Paris writing arias for Christine….._

_"I wanted to write music."_

_I scooped my daughter up onto my shoulders, and began walking out._

_"Why don't you do it?"_

_"Because people don't see me for who I really am."_

_"I don't understand…"_

_"You will when you're older."_

_"Can we pay mother a visit? We never visit her at work."_

_"I suppose she could probably use a break."_

_I walked down the stairs that led to the clothing department of the opera house. It was dark, and a little warm, but Christine told me time and time again that she didn't mind the conditions. Once there, I spotted her sitting at a worktable, sewing a torn dress._

_"Mother!"_

_Christine looked up, and smiled. I set our daughter down, and watched her run over to Christine._

_"What are you doing here, sweetheart?"_

_"I asked uncle if we could visit."_

_Christine looked up at me, her curls soaked with sweat._

_"You look warm, Christine. Would you like to get some fresh air?"_

_Christine looked down at her dress, and then back at me._

_"I really shouldn't, I have to get this dress done."_

_"Nonsense, I'm your boss, and I say you need a break."_

_Christine placed it down, and I helped her up._

_"Come, you should get some air."_

_"Ok, but not too long. You do need to have that dress on a dancer tonight."_

_"Oh, let her dance in the nude. It's only Meg for God's sake….she's been begging me to make her into some vaudeville skin flasher."_

_"Erik, I will do no such thing." she teased._

_Once outside, I took Christine down to the beach and we watched out daughter chase after some seagulls._

_"Is she causing you too much problems?"_

_"No, never, I love her, Christine."_

_"I know you do, Erik."_

_Christine intertwined her hand with my own._

_"I just hope she's not too much for you."_

_I pulled my hand away from her own, and stood in front of her._

_"You think I can't care for my daughter? Is that it, Christine?" I growled._

_"Erik, I never said that….please don't think I would ever say that."_

_"Oh, Christine, it sounds so much like that."_

_"I would never think that, Erik….."_

_She looked down at her feet, and then back at me._

_"Could we go out?"_

_"Out? What on earth is that supposed to mean?"_

_"Erik, it's been so long since it has been just you and I. I used to love going to your restaurant."_

_Why? Why was this woman begging me to go out with her? Why couldn't she leave things as they were? Things had been going so perfectly….why did she want to bring pain into our relationship?_

_"Christine, I don't think you know what you're asking."_

_"Yes, yes, I do. I've waited four years for this, Erik. Don't you think I've been punished enough. Is four years not enough to prove myself to you? I haven't lied to you in four years, Erik."_

_"But that's the thing, Christine, we haven't been in a relationship for four years. We hardly speak if we speak at all."_

_"Then give me the chance."_

_She looked at me, her eyes begging me to give her another chance. I couldn't. I had given her two chances already and yet, how was I to give her another only to have my heart break into two? And we had a daughter…how could I ever bring such anguish into her life? She believed me to be an uncle….how could I ever betray her trust in such a way._

_"Why are you shouting?"_

_We both heard our daughter's worried voice, only to look over and see her standing two feet away from us._

_"It's nothing sweetheart." Christine assured._

_"Yes, we were just leaving. You have to get those dresses mended." I said. "Wouldn't want to keep you from your work."_

_"Erik…"_

_"I said we'll talk later."_

_And with that, Christine walked back towards the opera house as we walked back to my flat._

_"Uncle, what was mother talking to you about?"_

_My daughter was well educated for her age, and I knew once she started school, she would be ahead of the other children. She took after me in everyway. When I was her age, I was already writing beautiful arias and playing on the piano when my mother wasn't around. My daughter was me in everyway, and yet, she didn't find the resemblance strange at all._

_"Adult things, little one. You wouldn't understand."_

_"Did you know mother talks about you at home a lot?"_

_"Yes, because she cares about me, just as much as she cares for you."_

_"Don't you care about her?"_

_"Eudora, I love your mother very much."_

_"Then why don't you love her enough to take her out on a….a bate…"_

_I had to laugh at my daughter mistake._

_"It's called a date, little one. You shouldn't be concerned about such things. Besides, your mother and I are very good friends."_

_"But you just said you love her…"_

_"As a friend, Eudora. Now play with your dolls."_

_That night, long after Christine picked Eudora up, I was laying in bed slowly drifting off to sleep. It was when I heard my grandfather clock strike midnight that I heard a knock occur at my door. I sat up, and reached over for my walking stick to balance myself while walking towards the door. When I opened it, I saw Christine standing there in her cloak, and she was alone._

_"Christine, what in god's name are you doing here at this hour? And where is our daughter?"_

_"She's asleep, I had to see you."_

_I groaned. I knew Christine wasn't going to leave until she got what she wanted. She was just as stubborn as me sometimes._

_"Come in, and make it quick. Our daughter shouldn't be left alone for long."_

_Once Christine was inside, I closed the door and turned around to see her standing right in front of me. Her hands slowly glided up my nightshirt, and wrapped around my neck._

_"Erik, I've missed you so much."_

_I gently placed Christine's hands into my own, trying to keep control over my body._

_"Christine, I hope you didn't come here thinking that privacy was going to change anything."_

_"No, I didn't. Erik, I know I can stand here and tell you I'm sorry over and over again, but I know that's not going to change a thing. But I really do love you Erik. I know we have a lot of problems to work out, but I know we can get through them."_

_"I find that hard to believe. Things might be ok for a little while, but they won't last. Besides, when are we going to have time to work out or problems? You work, I work…Eudora is always around…."_

_"I didn't say here, Erik. We need a break, we've been needing this break for well over four years now."_

_"What in God's name are you talking about, Christine?"_

_"We need to get away from Coney Island for a while. Closing day is just around the corner and it be nice to spend a few weeks some place else other than in the confinements of our flat. They don't close the ports anymore like they used to for the winter. Getting away is something we truly need."_

_I tried to think of something…anything that would get me out of thinking the same thing. But what could I say? We needed this….We've been needing this for the longest of time._

_"You really think that a holiday is going to solve all of our problems?"_

_"Erik, we need to spend some time together. Our hearts need mending, and I know sitting around here working all the time is going to do nothing for us."_

_"Where would we go?" I asked._

_"Paris. We could go back to the Opera House, see a show, take Eudora shopping. Please say we can go, Erik."_

_I turned towards the fire place, thinking about everything that's happened. Could time away with Christine truly get us back to being together? I didn't see how, but I was willing to try it out for Christine's sake. I would do anything for her…..anything._

_"Ok, but…but I'm not ready to share the same room with you, or the same bed….It takes time, Christine. My heart….you know what it's been through. We'll go together as a family, but things are not going to change. I can't promise you anything….you know that."_

_"That's better than nothing."_

_I yawned, and headed towards the kitchen with Christine following me._

_"Since you woke me up, I might as well make some tea. It's been helping me sleep lately."_

_I placed a kettle over the stove, and turned back towards Christine._

_"Would you like a cup? I have your favorite."_

_"Yes, thank you."_

_The room fell silent, and I knew our conversation was growing weak. I felt terrible…this was the love of my life, and yet, I had nothing to say to her. Perhaps our love had truly died…..Had I no love for this woman left within my heart?_

_"How is your throat, Erik?" I heard her ask. "Does it still bother you?"_

_"Talking is a struggle, but it's nothing I can change. You must hate the sound of my voice….."_

_"Never, Erik. You're still the same person you always were, no matter the sound of your voice."_

_This made me smile._

_"Sometimes my employees have a hard time understanding me when I talk. It's certainly a change from what I used to sound like."_

_When my kettle boiled, I poured her a cup of tea, and took a seat beside her._

_"Eudora is so much like you, Erik. Just last week she drew a picture of Skimbleshanks. It was beautiful…..She has your artistic skills."_

_"That's to be expected. She can probably sing too…"_

_"I only heard her singing once…..it sounded like an angel."_

_Once more I smiled._

_"She gets that from you."_

_"I find that hard to believe. You know you can sing better than me."_

_I reached my hand across the table, and embraced her hand with my own._

_"No, Christine. You are an angel like no other."_

_Christine quickly finished her tea, and stood up._

_"I should be going. Eudora will be looking for me."_

_I stood up as well, and walked her to the door._

_"I'll get us the tickets to Calais." I said. "And I'll finish packing up Phantasma as soon as possible."_

_Christine smiled._

_"You were always a man of your word, Erik."_

_"Goodnight, Christine. Give Eudora a kiss for me."_

_"I will."_

_And with that, Christine left. Perhaps all my love for her hadn't been drained from my heart after all…._

* * *

**Please Review! **


	35. Chapter 35

"_I DREAM OF YOU NIGHT AND DAY_

_HOPING YOUR PRESENCE WON'T GO AWAY._

_THINKING OF YOU WITHIN MY MIND_

_A CHERISHED THOUGHT THAT TAKES ITS TIME._

_THE FEELING INSIDE NEVER WANTING ME TO LIVE_

_BUT I GAVE TO YOU ALL WHAT MY HEART COULD GIVE._

_MY LOVE FOR YOU IS FOREVER STRONG_

_BUT YOUR LOVE FOR ME IS APPARENTLY GONE._

_AN ANGEL ABOVE CAN'T COMPARE TO YOU_

_THAT'S WHY MY LOVE INCREASED AND GREW._

_YOUR BEAUTY IS GRACFULLY SHOWN_

_A CRYSTAL DIAMOND, A KINDER STONE._

_YOUR BODY SHINES BRIGHTLY LIKE THE STARS_

_FOREVER GLOWING OVER MY BURNING SCARS_

_THE LUSCIOUS LIPS, THE BEAUTIFUL EYES_

_REMINDS ME THAT I CAN TELL NO LIES._

_JUST A FEW WORDS FROM YOUR PRECIOUS KISS_

_TELLS MY HEART WHY I WANT TO EXSIST._

_I WOULD DIE TO SEE A SMILE UPON YOUR FACE_

_JUST A GLIMPSE OF IT WOULD MAKE MY LIFE EMBRACE._

_IT'S ALL MY FAULT,_

_I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES,_

_AND THE MORE I CREATE,_

_THE MORE MY HEART BREAKS._

_I'M SO SORRY FOR ALL THIS,_

_I DIDN'T MEAN TO CAUSE YOU PAIN,_

_I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU,_

_THAT WHAT I AM TRYING TO EXPLAIN._

_I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, _

_YOU BRING MY WORLD TOGETHER,_

_ALL I CAN SAY NOW,_

_IS THAT I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVERIT'S ALL DOWN TO YOU,_

_I DON'T WANT US TO BE APART_

_BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE_

_LISTEN TO YOUR HEART"- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_It had been four long years, four extremely, never ending years. It was even longer without Erik's love. The only thing that kept me company was my daughter…My beautiful daughter. But even she reminded me of Erik. She tore things apart out of curiosity, she was an incredible artist for her age…..She was Erik. When I finally couldn't take Erik's rejection any longer, I left Eudora one night while she slept and headed to Erik's flat. It was late, but I knew he'd still be awake. I knew what we needed to get our relationship back to normal….We needed a holiday, a getaway. After a long amount of time arguing with him about it, he finally agreed, and we would be going to Paris. It had been many years since I was last there, and I knew Erik would enjoy the fresh air. I knew he missed Paris just as much as I did, and now we could visit together. Plus, I knew it would be fun for Eudora to wander around Paris with us. Yes, this would be a wonderful getaway. _

_A few days after Phantasma closed down, Eudora and I were told to meet Erik at the shipyard before sunrise. It was a cold November morning, and I could see my breath as I stood there with Eudora at my side with our luggage. _

"_When is uncle coming?" I heard her impatiently ask. "He said before sunrise. It's nearly day time."_

"_Eudora, your uncle said he would be here. Don't be inpatient."_

"_But it's cold, mother."_

_It was then, from out of the morning fog came Erik carrying his bags dressed in his heavy black jacket. It looked as if he were struggling with his luggage because of him having to carry his walking stick, so I immediately ran over to him._

"_Here." I said taking a bag from his hand. "Let me help."_

_He didn't argue, and thanked me._

"_You're late." I said walking beside him. "You're never late."_

"_Yes, well, I forgot my medicine."_

_He took our boarding passes out of his pocket, and handed them to me._

"_Our rooms are right across from one another's." he stated. "We'll be able to keep each other company."_

_Once we reached Eudora, I picked up her bags and we walked towards the boarding ramp. There were so many people boarding the ship that it took an awfully long time to get where we were going. Sometimes my daughter fell behind, but Erik was there to pull her back over to us. _

"_Stay in line, Eudora." he would warn._

_Our rooms were down stairs on the bottom floor. My room had two beds, and a small desk. When I looked back towards the door to see Erik, he pointed to the room right across the hall._

"_That's my room, Christine. I'll come visit you once the ship gets out to sea."_

_With that, he walked out. Eudora placed her bags down on her bed, and looked over at me, her face filled with a look of worriment. _

"_Mother, how long will it take to get to Paris?"_

"_Probably two weeks."_

"_Two weeks?" she groaned. "It's going to be so boring."_

_I laughed._

"_Not really, love. Besides, we'll have Erik to keep us company. He knows how to keep anyone occupied."_

"_Can we walk around?"_

"_When the ship gets out to sea, love. Right now, it's very crowded with people still trying to find their rooms."_

_I went to move my bags to the other side of the room, when I noticed a bag that wasn't mine mixed in with them._

"_Eudora, is this yours?"_

_Eudora looked over from the bed, and shook her head._

"_No, uncle must have left his bag here."_

_I picked up the middle weight bag, and walked out of my room to return it to Erik. I crossed the hall, and approached the closed door of his room. _

"_Erik?" I knocked, and waited for him to answer it. _

_A few seconds later, Erik was at the door, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows._

"_You forgot your bag, silly." I teased. _

_Erik looked down at his bag, and opened his door._

"_Yes, I've been looking for that. Bring it inside."_

"_What's in here, anyway?" I asked walking inside his one bedroom quarter._

"_My toiletries and Morphine."_

"_Glad I found it then."_

_I placed the bag down on the bed, and turned to see him standing before me._

"_You know, Erik, you could have shared a room with us."_

"_Not with two young ladies, Christine. You know what people would think if I did."_

"_I would feel safer if you were with us, Erik."_

"_Christine, please don't argue with me. Now do me a favor and go to your room. I must rest…Tonight we'll go to the cafe and get something to eat."_

_I didn't want to aggravate him any further, so I bid him goodbye and went back to Eudora. When the ship started moving, I was able to take Eudora to the top deck, where she sat on the deck playing dress up with her dolls Erik had bought her over the years. _

"_Mother, do you think they'll have dolls in Paris?" she asked me, brushing the blonde strands of her favorite doll._

"_Of course they will. Paris has some of the most beautiful dolls I had ever seen."_

"_Really? And do they wear French clothes too?"_

"_Of course." I giggled. "And if you're good, I might even buy you a matching outfit."_

_Eudora liked this, and became even more excited about arriving in Paris. _

"_When can we see uncle?" she asked._

"_In a while. He wanted to rest, Eudora."_

"_Why does he want to rest? Didn't he sleep last night?"_

"_Eudora, you know Erik gets tired because of his legs. He carried his luggage all the way from his flat to the ship."_

_Having my daughter beside me was like having a best friend. When it started getting colder out, we decided to go inside and get ready for dinner. I brushed my daughter's long, dark hair, and placed one of my old hair pieces into it. _

"_Can we get uncle now?" she impatiently asked._

"_Yes." I giggled. "I'll go fetch him."_

_Before walking across the hall, I adjusted my dress, and turned to my daughter._

"_How do I look?"_

_Eudora smiled._

"_Like a princess."_

_I walked across the hall, and knocked on Erik's door. When he didn't answer, I knocked again. _

"_Erik, are you ready to go?"_

_The only thing I heard was silence. Why? Erik promised he was going to have dinner with us. Why wasn't he answering?_

"_Erik?"_

_I then took it upon myself, and opened the door to find him laying in bed leaning over the side, throwing up into a chamber pot._

"_Erik? Are you sick?"_

_He looked up, and wiped his mouth. _

"_I…I need some air." he gasped._

_I rushed to his side, and helped him sit up. _

"_Erik, what's wrong?"_

"_I….I can't do this, Christine. I…I need to get off this ship."_

_There was a slight rocking to the ship, but nothing I couldn't bear. On the other hand, Erik's weak stomach couldn't take it. _

"_Erik, do you want to go upstairs for a while. They have a lobby you could sit in."_

_He slightly nodded, and I handed him his jacket. _

"_Come on."_

_I helped him walk out of his room, and called for Eudora. She came running to the door, and looked up at Erik._

"_What's wrong, mother."_

"_Come on, Erik needs some air."_

_I held onto Erik as I walked him up the stairs and into the main lobby to sit him down on the couch that was facing the ocean. _

"_Erik, I'm going to get something to settle your stomach. Are you going to be able to sit here for a few moments?"_

_He simply nodded, and I pulled Eudora to the café. _

"_Mother, what's wrong with uncle? He doesn't look so well."_

"_He has an upset stomach, love. I'm going to get him a cup of ginger ale."_

_While I was in the crowded café, I filled a tray of food up for my daughter and I while getting a cup of ginger ale for Erik. I knew he wasn't going to be able to keep any food down, not tonight anyway. Once back out in the lobby, I sat the tray down on a side table, only to realize that Erik was gone. _

"_Eudora, stay here."_

_My daughter nodded, and I walked out to the top deck in search of Erik. As I walked the freezing deck, I saw Erik leaning over the railings throwing up into the ocean. I ran over to him, and sympathetically rubbed his back. My poor angel….if I would have known this was bound to happen, I wouldn't have made him travel. _

"_That's it, Erik." I softly encouraged him. "Get it all out."_

"_I'm sorry." he apologized, straightening himself._

"_For what?"_

"_Embarrassing you."_

"_You did nothing of the sort." I assured. "I had no idea the motion of the ship would make you sick."_

"_I have problems traveling by anything other than foot. When I traveled from Paris to Coney Island years ago, I was sick."_

"_I feel so bad for you, Erik. It was my idea to go to Paris, so I can't help but feel responsible for all of this."_

"_Don't be." _

"_Let's get back inside where it's warm, Erik. I brought you some ginger ale from the kitchen."_

_Erik agreed, and walked with me back inside where Eudora was indulging herself into the chocolate brownie that I had gotten for her dessert. _

"_Eudora….why are you eating your dessert? You haven't even touched your meal."_

"_I hate broccoli." she pouted, pushing away the bowl of steamed greens._

_I sighed. _

"_You're so much like your father…."_

"_What?" she questioned._

_Damn me! Why had I said something like that._

"_Nothing. Now eat your dinner."_

"_But mother…"_

_It was that Erik chanted in._

"_Eudora, listen to your mother."_

_This time Eudora listened, and I handed Erik his glass of ginger ale. _

"_That will settle your stomach." _

_As Erik drank his ale, I began to eat my broccoli. _

"_Erik, do you want something to eat? I could get you something."_

"_No, I'll stick to drinking the ale, thank you."_

_By the time my daughter finished eating, she was a complete mess. Her face was smeared in chocolate, and so were her fingers. _

"_Come on, Eudora, let's get back to the room."_

_I helped Erik up from his seat, and walked him to my room where I sat him down at the end of my bed._

"_You should stay a while, Erik. Being with us might take the sickness in your stomach away."_

_Erik didn't argue, and relaxed as I tried to bathe our daughter. I tried to wash her as she splashed the water all about. _

"_Stay still, Eudora." I ordered. "You're getting me soaked."_

"_But mother, the ship is headed for a terrible storm." she played, kicking her arms about in the water. "If I stop splashing the water, the storm will end."_

"_Let it." I said, my tone getting a little angry. "You can play this game later, outside of the tub."_

_From behind me, I heard Erik softly laughing at how soaked I was getting. _

"_Don't laugh, Erik."_

_But he didn't stop. I then picked the water filled sponge up from the bottom of the tub, and playfully threw it at him. It hit his shirt, and Erik didn't hesitate a single moment on picking it up and throwing it back at me._

"_Erik…." I giggled as he came forward and wrung out the sponge over my curls, causing my hair to become soaking wet._

"_Erik…."_

"_You started it, Christine."_

_Now that I was completely drenched, I lifted our daughter out of the tub, and threw a towel around her body._

"_Love, dry yourself off while I get your nightshirt from the bag."_

_As I rummaged through Eudora's luggage, I felt a towel being placed over my wet shoulders. When I turned, it was Erik who was doing it._

"_Don't want you getting sick, Christine."_

_A small smile curved my lips, and I thanked him before pulling the purple night shirt from the bag. _

"_Here, Eudora." I slipped the garment over her head, began brushing her ebony hair. _

"_It's time for bed."_

"_But mother…." _

"_But nothing."_

_I lifted her small form up into my arms, and placed her beneath the sheets of the bed. _

"_Uncle, tell me a story. I do love your stories…."_

"_Oh, love, Erik is tired." I reminded her. "Perhaps another night."_

_But Erik stood up, and sat himself on the end of Eudora's bed._

"_I'll do it, Christine. Just you go change yourself before you get sick."_

"_Erik, you don't have to."_

"_No, but I want to…" he promised me. _

_I didn't argue a moment more, and found myself behind the privacy drape, changing out of my wet dress, and listening to Erik and Eudora._

"_Ok then, which one do you want to hear?" he asked her._

"_You choose. Just make it a good one….."_

_I looked out from the privacy drape, seeing Erik's shadow cast among the wall from the candle that was burning on the night table._

"_Have I ever told you the story about the three brothers?"_

_Eudora shook her tiny head cautiously._

"_I haven't? Are you certain?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Well then, I guess our story has been picked."_

_I silently sighed as I slipped my night gown over my head, secretly watching and listening to Erik tell his story. _

"_When I lived in Persia, there was a story my friend used to tell his son. There were once three Persian brothers out wandering the desert. They came to a small cannon that no one ever dared to cross because death followed to whom ever attempted to. The brothers, being as smart as they were, made a bridge out of a rope they were carrying with them. Before they could cross, however, death appeared before them…."_

_I would have stopped Erik's story but Eudora didn't seem to mind how scary it was. She was completely interested, and didn't show one sign of fear….She was Erik's little girl…._

"_Death appeared, uncle? What did he say?"_

"_He congratulated the brothers for cheating him because no one ever had. Before letting them cross, he told the brothers that because they had outsmarted him, he would grant them each one wish. The oldest brother crossed first, and told death that he wanted the power to make any woman he desired love him. And so the wish was granted, and he crossed. The middle born brother crossed next, telling death that he wanted the power to bring loved ones back from the grave….And so the wish was grated, and he crossed the bridge as well."_

"_What did the youngest wish for?" Eudora gasped, hugging her doll close to her chest._

_Erik smiled, and continued with his story._

"_The youngest brother looked at death and with a smile, he wished for a cloak that make him invisible when ever it was draped around him, making it impossible for death to find him. And so, once again, the wish was granted and the youngest brother crossed. The brothers eventually separated and went their own ways. The oldest brother loved his power, and was able to get any woman he desired to love him. But he met his demise when the woman he had wooed turned out to be married. The husband found them both, and killed the older brother for laying with his wife….And so, death claimed the older brother. The middle born brother used his power to bring his wife back from the dead. He thought it was wonderful to have her back, but the wife didn't belong here and soon decayed before him. The brother became so depressed over the second death of his wife that he hung himself to be with her for all eternity….And so, death claimed the middle brother."_

"_Oh, what about the youngest, uncle….did death claim him too?"_

_Erik chuckled, and interlocked his hands with Eudora's who were tugging at his shirt. _

"_Eudora, calm down, little one…" _

"_Tell me, tell me, uncle…."_

"_The younger brother wore his cloak for many many years. In that time, death searched all over the land for the younger brother, but could not find him. When the younger brother became old and weak, he handed the cloak over to his son, and met death as an old friend…."_

"_The younger brother out smarted death…" Eudora exclaimed._

"_Yes, because he was smart." Erik gently pushed Eudora back against the mattress. "Now go to sleep." _

"_Goodnight, uncle…I…I love you."_

_This had stopped my heart. It broke my soul in half to know that Erik was her real father, and yet Eudora loved him and she didn't even know. For years, I had been willing to tell her the truth, but Erik made me promise not to. When Eudora was fast asleep, I came out from behind the drape, and saw Erik standing near my bed. _

"_I…I should go." _

"_Let me walk you to your room."_

_He nodded, and we walked out into the hall. _

"_So who told you that story?" I kindly asked._

"_It was Reza's favorite story…..My friend's child."_

"_Erik, you never told me you…."_

"_Because I didn't want you to know. I was living with a friend in Persia. He had saved my life and he had a sick child. I made him toys, and…..loved him. When Nadir was working, I took care of him, telling him his favorite stories….You know, he even asked me if I could possibly go to the son of the youngest brother and ask him if he could the invisibility cloak."_

_Erik looked down at his feet._

"_And….and I said yes, I would do it."_

"_Erik, I'm sorry."_

_Erik looked back up at me with tears in his eyes._

"_The boy was suffering and I wanted to end it. I made him pudding and placed a poison in it, one that would put him sleep and kill him peacefully. My friend agreed, and so, that night, I wrapped a cloak around him, telling him that death wouldn't be able to find him, and fed him the pudding…..Oh, Christine…."_

"_Erik…" I placed my hand over his cheek. "You did the right thing."_

"_Did I, Christine?"_

_I nodded._

"_You're a good person, Erik. You're a great father, and a great man….." I paused, thinking about how to bring up the next subject. "Erik, I know Eudora loves you, and I can't bear to see her going on another moment without knowing the truth."_

"_No, Christine." he growled. "You promised."_

"_And I have yet to say anything, Erik. But I want to….I want her to know."_

"_She can't know. It's hard enough for me in Phantasma with the press and the people knowing what my face looks like. They call me horrible things in the papers…you know this just as well as I do. If she went around calling me "Father" just think of the things that would be said about me. They would come to you, calling you the "Monster's Prey, The Whore, the Raped…" _

"_I don't care, Erik, for I know none of that is true. We made love because we wanted to, not because you forced me."_

_Erik closed his eyes, and turned towards the door._

"_No, Christine. It would kill me…..It would very much kill me to see those things written in print. To see you shunned because of me…I'm the monster, not you."_

_I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe Erik was saying these things…._

"_Erik, are you regretting me? Are you regretting Eudora?"_

"_I regret nothing. With that being said, we should have never done that….I should have said no. And yes, as much as I loved you then, I shouldn't have made you my own. It resulted in nothing but….but…"_

"_Eudora, Erik. That's what it resulted in. Are you to regret the one little angel who loves you? How could you…"_

"_I regret nothing, Christine! Christ! The only thing I ever did was love you….I loved you so much that I was willing to forgive you for what happened in Paris. It's you who destroyed everything we had. You lied to me about Raoul, and worse….you lied to me when I was willing to give you one last chance."_

"_That was four years ago, Erik."_

_I grabbed onto his shirt to stop him from entering his room._

"_You said we were going on this holiday together to get past our problems. You're not even trying, Erik."_

"_I've been trying! I've been trying to look past this for four fucking, long years, Christine! How dare you assume that I haven't been trying. I look at you, and search my heart for forgiveness every damn day of the week, and…..not one ounce of forgiveness ever rises from me."_

"_You won't even let me try, Erik. You won't even give me a chance."_

"_I've given you several chances to prove yourself, Christine. I was even about to forgive you for leaving me in Paris, but…..you lied to me. Do you think it's so easy for me to reach down in my heart and hand it to you on a silver platter? I've been abused and betrayed by my own mother, raped and beaten by my master, used and left by you….."_

"_I try, Erik. I try to offer dinner outings and private time to talk things over with you. But you've denied every single request I have offered. Why is that?"_

"_Because I'm afraid, Christine….There, I admitted it!" he shouted. "I am so afraid to fall back in love with you that I stay away completely. Do you think I don't think about you? Or yearn for your kiss? Want your body? Oh, Christine…..How could I not think about the only woman I have ever loved."_

"_Then give me that chance."_

_Erik coldly turned away, and leaned against his door._

"_Sometimes lovers are better as friends. That way, they can love one another as much as they want without getting hurt."_

_I was silent, I hadn't anything more to say. I bit my lower lip, wanting to request the one thing I've wanted these past four years._

"_Then marry me, Erik."_

_His glance moved to me, his eyes filled with disbelief._

"_Marry me. I would bring you no further pain. I would be the most loving wife you could ever want."_

"_Do you actually think I would forgive you by you marrying me? That just because we were husband and wife, things would be different? How dare you assume such a thing."_

"_Then tell me how to gain your forgiveness." I pleaded. _

"_Even I don't know how I'm ever going to feel forgiveness from that. We will spend some time together in Paris, and see where things go."_

_Erik opened his door, and glanced at me one last time._

"_I can't promise you anything, Christine. You should rest now…..I'll come for you in the morning and we can get breakfast."_

_I said nothing and only nodded. _

"_Goodnight then…"_

_When Erik closed his door, I walked back across the hall to my room. I was going to try my hardest to gain Erik's forgiveness, and I knew this was not going to be a simple thing…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, Happy Thanksgiving! Please review! **


	36. Chapter 36

"_I never saw me look so sad_

_And never quite so pale_

_I said I never felt so bad_

_While leaning on the rail_

_And leaning there it caught my eye_

_Those words I said to me._

"_Will I get worse before I die?"_

_Then through up in the sea…"-_Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_I had a hard time sleeping that night. The ship rocked restlessly back and fourth, causing my stomach to do the same. I checked my pocket watch over and over again, hoping morning would arrive soon. For days this went on, and my stomach never settled. I spent most of the journey laying in bed with Christine knocking on my door from time to time checking to see if I was ok. _

_It had been days since I slept, and I was glad to find that it was the last day of our journey. I had finally stopped throwing up, and closed my eyes in hope of getting some rest. It was then that my door opened and Eudora came walking in carrying her doll. _

"_Uncle, are you awake?"_

_I rolled over and groaned into my pillow._

"_No, I'm talking in my sleep."_

_My daughter giggled, and jumped up on my bed._

"_You don't look so good, uncle."_

"_I'm tired."_

"_Then you should sleep."_

_I knew Eudora didn't understand what I was trying to tell her, and I didn't want to be cruel. I rolled over on my back, and Eudora plopped herself into my lap._

"_Where is your mother?"_

"_She's getting us lunch."_

_I ran my fingers through my wig, and sighed._

"_No she's not…."_

"_Yes she is. Mother says you need to eat."_

"_Curse your mother, Eudora…" I groaned. _

"_You're so stubborn, uncle."_

_I rolled back over, causing my daughter to fall off my lap and onto my mattress. I closed my eyes, only to feel her small fingers playing with the hair of my wig._

"_Stop, Eudora, can't you see that I'm trying to rest."_

"_Can you show me the trick?"_

"_What trick?"_

"_The magic trick?"_

"_No, now can you be quiet for five minutes?"_

_She silenced herself, and I sighed in relief, but that relief didn't last any longer than a few seconds because I began feeling her doll bouncing up and down on my side._

"_Eudora…." I opened my eyes to see her playing with her doll, walking it across my side._

"_What? Lilly is crossing the bridge."_

"_Go find another bridge, Eudora. Please let me sleep."_

"_But your body is thin like a bridge. The bed frame is too thick."_

"_Eudora…."_

_But before I could continue, Christine walked in carrying a tray. _

"_Eudora, are you aggravating Erik?"_

"_No mother, we're playing."_

_Christine sat the tray down on my night table, and picked Eudora up into her arms._

"_Come on, love. Erik needs his rest."_

_She sat our daughter in a chair across the room, and handed her half of a sandwich._

"_You didn't have to bring me lunch, Christine." I told her, sitting up against my bed frame. "I'm not hungry."_

"_You haven't eaten a thing in days, Erik. You need your strength."_

_Christine produced a bowl of soup, and held a spoonful of it up to my lips. _

"_There's nothing in it, Erik. But you need to eat, you're going to need your strength for when we dock in Paris tonight."_

_I opened my mouth, and received the chicken broth. It didn't taste very appetizing, but it was nourishment…._

"_It shouldn't upset your stomach."_

"_So where are we going once we arrive in Paris?" Christine asked._

"_I have a house in town. It's been years since I last lived there, but it's shelter from the night."_

_Christine smiled, and ran her fingers over my pale forehead._

"_You never told me you owned a home in Paris."_

"_I was going to live there…." I said. "With you…."_

_Christine's cheeks turned red with embarrassment, and she took the now empty bowl away. _

"_I'm sure it will be a very pleasant getaway."_

_I tried to relax the remainder of the day, and that night, when the ship docked, Christine and Eudora stayed close to my side as we exited. The night was dark and cold, but not as cold as Coney Island was. My daughter fell asleep in my arms, and I carried her through the streets as we headed towards my home. Years ago when I loved in Paris, I bought a home right down the street from the Opera house. I was going to surprise Christine with it after proposing to her, but…..that never happened. She wanted a life above ground, and I was willing to grant it to her. It was nothing more than a small brick building with five bedrooms, a dining room, a music room, a living room and a bathroom, but it would do. Once inside, Christine followed me up the stairs where I placed Eudora down in the smallest bedroom. After placing her down on the unused bed, I removed her shoes, and pulled the blankets over her. _

"_She looks like an angel when she sleeps." Christine whispered._

"_Like you."_

_We slowly crept outside the room, and I closed the door behind me._

"_Come on, I'll show you to your room."_

_I led Christine to a room down the hall, and opened the door. This was the exact same room I was going to give her once we moved in, and it was still in the same condition I left it in. There was a four poster bed on one end of the room and a large vanity placed near the window. _

"_I do hope this will be suitable for you."_

_Christine placed her bags down on the floor, and circled the room in amazement. _

"_It's perfect."_

"_I bid you goodnight then."_

"_Wait." _

_I turned around, wondering what Christine wanted._

"_Where is your room?"_

_I pointed down the hall._

"_First door on your right, Christine. It's the master bedroom."_

_When Christine went into her room, I walked to my own. It had been years since I last slept here. I opened the door, and turned on the lights only to see my furniture covered in white sheets. I pulled back the sheet that was draped over my arm chair, and did the same to my desk. Afterwards, I started a fire in the fireplace, and changed into my nightclothes. Yes, I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. I sat there in my arm chair, staring into the flames, wondering when sleep would over take me. _

_Yes, Christine was staying here, but for some reason, I still felt lonely. I always felt lonely, and yet, I had a daughter and a woman who loved me. A few hours later, I heard a knock at my door, only to turn and see Christine standing there in her nightgown. _

"_When I told you where my room was, it wasn't an invite to visit later." I said, turning back to face the fire._

"_I couldn't sleep." _

"_And neither could I….we're even."_

_But this wasn't enough. Seconds later she came walking over to me, and leaned on my armchair._

"_Could we talk?"_

_I ran my fingers through the gray strands of hair on my bald head and sighed_

"_About what?"_

_Christine crawled into my lap, and looked into the fire._

"_Remember when we used to do this?" she sighed._

"_Yes, I do. It was a long time ago."_

"_I miss it, Erik."_

"_I have to admit that I do too."_

_Christine turned to me, and laid her head on my shoulder._

"_I like it here."_

"_Let's not talk about this, Christine. You know as good as me that the past can't be changed."_

"_I hope it can, Erik."_

_I reached out for Christine's bare feet, and clasped my hand around one of them._

"_Your feet are freezing."_

"_They are a little cold."_

_I began massaging them with my hand, hoping to get them warm._

"_This house can be a little cold at times. Which is why I always keep the fireplace lit."_

"_I don't have one in my room." she teased. _

"_That's because the fireplace warms the rest of the house."_

_Christine looked around the room, and then back at me._

"_Without company this house could get very lonely."_

"_I know."_

"_So what do we have planned for tomorrow?"_

"_I was thinking about seeing Madame Giry. I'm sure she would love to see you."_

"_Yes, I'm sure she would." _

"_Perhaps the two of us could get something to eat. Maybe go to the opera house…."_

"_Sounds fine to me."_

_It was then that I took out my pocket watch to notice it was after midnight. _

"_It's getting late, Christine. We should really be going to bed."_

_Christine looked up at me, her eyes giving me the most seductive expression I had ever seen._

"_Are you saying that because you want to go to bed? Or because you want to be alone?"_

"_Are you questioning me, Christine?" I chuckled._

"_Perhaps."_

"_If you must know, it's getting extremely late, and getting to such an inappropriate time for visiting. We'll see each other in the morning."_

_Christine yawned._

"_I'm not tired, Erik."_

"_You sound it, Christine."_

"_I'm not."_

"_Christine, it's getting late. Come now…." _

_I stood up, and walked Christine to the door._

_She cupped my cheek lovingly before bidding me goodnight._

"_Goodnight, Christine."_

_When she was gone, I closed my door, and crawled into bed. I found it hard to fall asleep because of my horrible nightmares, and tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. When ever I would fall asleep, I would wake up sometime later gasping for air from the horrible dreams I had. When I could no longer lay there, I donned my robe, and quietly hurried down the hallway. Once I was down the stairs, I entered the kitchen I had never used. I placed a kettle of water on the stove to make some tea, and turned to look out the window. It was still dark, but there was snow falling heavily._

"_Uncle?"_

_I heard the sound of a small voice, only to turn and see Eudora standing there in the doorway rubbing her eyes. _

"_Little one, it's very early. What are you doing up?"_

"_I had a night scare."_

_I approached the child, and lifted her up into a chair._

"_You mean a nightmare."_

_My daughter was so much like me. She had nightmares just like I did…_

"_It's only a dream, little one, they can't hurt you."_

"_But they feel so real. Mother doesn't understand them…"_

"_I do. I know what you're feeling."_

_Her little blue eyes widened._

"_You do?"_

"_Yes, I have them too."_

"_In my dreams, I'm running….I think someone is chasing after me, but I never see him."_

"_It's just a dream."_

"_But it's so scary, uncle….I've been having them a long time now. I can't sleep….I cry…Oh, uncle, I'm so scared."_

_I lifted my daughter's chin up, and gave her a kind smile._

"_Hey, how about we forget about these nightmares for now and get some breakfast."_

"_Ok."_

"_What'll it be then, little one?"_

_My daughter shrugged, and I began rummaging through my cabinets._

"_Waffles?"_

"_Ok."_

_I poured the mix into a bowl, and placed it in front of my daughter._

"_I can't do it alone. Will you help me?"_

_Eudora leaned forward, and took the wooden spoon in her hand._

"_Mix, don't stop…." I teased, watching her mix the batter._

"_How much longer, uncle?"_

"_Faster, little one…."_

_I let my daughter continue with this while I prepared the stove. _

"_My arms is tired, Uncle….Can I stop now?"_

"_Sure."_

_I came behind my daughter, and lifted her into the air. She giggled, and I took her hands in my own as she poured the batter into the pan. _

"_And now what, uncle?" she laughed._

"_We wait. The food has to cook, but you are a definite chef."_

_I sat her back down in her chair, and sat across from her._

"_Thanks, uncle, I feel better now."_

"_I'm glad."_

"_But I'm still afraid to go to sleep."_

_I ran my fingers through her soft hair in hopes of making her forget about the nightmares._

"_What's going on?"_

_It was Christine. I looked up to see her walking into the kitchen wearing her robe. _

"_Are we being too loud?" I asked._

"_No, I'm just wondering why Eudora is up so early?"_

_Eudora ran to her mother, and buried her head into Christine's robe._

"_I had a night scare, mother."_

"_A what…" _

_Christine's face turned serious, and she told Eudora to go change. When we were alone, Christine came into the kitchen. _

"_When were you planning on telling me this, Christine?" I strictly questioned._

"_Erik, every child has nightmares."_

"_Don't pull this with me, Christine. You know how severe my nightmares are….it's only logical that she'd have them passed on to her by me. How long has she been having them?"_

"_A few weeks now."_

"_And yet, you didn't tell me. Christine, I could help her….We could work through them together."_

"_How, Erik? By telling her you were raped? That she inherited the nightmares from you; her father?"_

_I slammed my hands down on the counter, and felt my blood angrily boiling. _

"_Well, what's better? Having her lose sleep? Christine, she needs her sleep. She's just a child for God's sake." _

"_And I am her mother."_

"_And I am her father!"_

_I turned back around to check on the cooking food, only to feel angrier than before._

"_I want to make something perfectly clear, Christine. If you have any hope of us getting back together, I suggest you start with telling me about things like this."_

"_I'm sorry, Erik." she whimpered._

"_She's my daughter too, Christine. I should know things about this."_

"_Sorry."_

_After eating breakfast, Christine and I walked with Eudora towards Madame Giry's. Once there, I knocked and took a step back away from the door. _

"_Uncle, why are we here?" I heard Eudora ask._

"_An old friend." I simply stated._

_When the door opened, Madame Giry immediately embraced Christine, and smiled excitedly._

"_Christine! Erik….Look at you…."_

"_Yes, we came for a visit."_

"_Yes, Meg has been writing me about you and Phantasma. Where is that beautiful little girl of yours…."_

_Christine pulled Eudora forward, and Madame Giry gasped at the sight of her._

"_My God, she's beautiful."_

"_Thank you." Christine turned red at Madame Giry's remark. _

"_And look at me, keeping you out in the cold….come in."_

_She moved aside, and we entered. _

"_Let me get you something to drink."_

_Madame Giry left Christine and Eudora in the living room, and pulled me into the kitchen. _

"_Erik, I didn't think you had it in you." she teased, fetching a kettle to put on the stove._

"_Madame, enough." Christ, the last thing I needed was for Eudora to hear all of this._

"_Sorry, it's just that she's so beautiful."_

"_Yes, she is. But I'm sure Meg has told you the information that needs to stay secret. I am to be as her uncle and nothing more."_

"_Erik, it's been four years. Isn't it time to forgive Christine and move on with your life?"_

_I rubbed my masked temple with my hand, groaning at the aggravation Madame Giry was causing._

"_Please, Madame, don't bring this up."_

"_Erik, she's written me letters over the years, and there is nothing I have read that would doubt Christine's love for you."_

"_We're taking things day by day, Madame."_

"_Yes, and you're still breathing so stop wasting valuable time with her."_

_I peeked out at Christine playing dolls with our daughter. They were beautiful together….so beautiful._

"_You used to tell me how much you wanted Christine to love you…..And it happened."_

"_You didn't see her lie." I snapped._

"_Oh, come now, Erik….You lied to her first. You told her you were the "Angel of Music." You know how she reacted when she found out you were a man…But she found it within her heart to forgive you."_

"_This is different." I growled. _

"_How different? Stop being so stubborn, Erik."_

_Madame Giry handed me a cup of steaming hot tea, and I thanked her. _

"_And look at you. You're nearly an old man."_

"_Come now, I'm not that old."_

_To tease me, Madame Giry tugged off my wig to expose the gray strands of hair on my head. _

"_You're not a spring chicken either."_

_I frantically placed my wig back on, and stepped away from her._

"_You don't look so young yourself."_

_Madame Giry smiled and peeked out at Christine._

"_Yes, but look at Christine. She is so beautiful….she gets even more beautiful with age, wouldn't you agree?"_

"_Of course I do. I think she's the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on."_

"_So what were you thinking about doing while you're here?"_

"_Getting some rest." I scoffed. "And touring the city."_

"_Paris is the most romantic city known to man. You should spend time together…just the two of you."_

"_And so we will."_

"_I'd be more than happy to watch Eudora."_

_Madame Giry and I walked out into the main room with Christine and Eudora. _

"_Erik was just telling me how excited he is to take you out into the city, Christine."_

_I nudged Madame Giry, but Christine was already onto us._

"_Really?"_

_Her eyes seductively turned to me._

"_Madame was just teasing with me…."_

"_I was not. You wanted to take Christine to the Opera house and around town…"_

"_Stop it, Madame."_

"_Well then, we shouldn't waste another moment." Christine replied, standing to her feet. _

"_I said no such thing, Christine."_

_But Christine didn't listen, she pulled me to my feet smiling ever so happily._

"_I'll watch Eudora." Madame Giry promised. "Her and I can get to know each other."_

_I pulled away from Christine, trying to think of an excuse to stay. _

"_No, this is up to Eudora." I argued. "It should be up to her."_

_I turned towards our daughter, hoping she would give me the answer I was looking for._

"_Ok, Eudora, I want you to tell me. Do you want to stay here while your mother and I go out?"_

_Eudora looked at Christine, and then to me…._

"_Yes."_

"_See, Erik, come on…." Christine was playfully trying to pull me away._

"_No." I pulled back. "Tell me the truth Eudora. You don't want to stay here with this stranger."_

"_I want you and mother to go out together." she told me._

"_Why on earth would you want that?" _

_It was then that Eudora pulled me down to her height and whispered into my ear._

"_Because mother loves you….and I know you love her too."_

_I was out of excuses to stay. It was then that Christine bid her goodbyes and pulled me out of the house…..We were alone together, with Christine hoping our mending would begin….Well, here goes nothing…._

* * *

**Ok, please review! **


	37. Chapter 37

"_Dying is easy, it's living that's hard_

_False prophets abound_

_Hope bleeds gradually_

_Selling belief by the pound_

_Hidden by statistics _

_Hope bleeds gradually_

_Make do and mend_

_Smile and pretend_

_Nothing in love is lost_

_I hope that this is true_

_Hope bleeds gradually_

_There is plenty for both me and you."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_Erik and I were finally alone. We walked together down the familiar streets of Paris, the people not even giving Erik one single glance. Could it be possible that everyone had forgotten about The Phantom of the Opera, and his white mask? Even so, I found it also possible for the people of Paris to have moved far away after the Don Juan disaster. When we were walking past the opera house, I stopped to have a look at it. The fire damage had been repaired, and there were posters hanging on the outside of the building of the starring diva for the shows. It was as if none of what happened ever occurred, as if the Phantom was just a story and nothing more…..as if he had never lived exsisted. _

"_Come along, Christine." Erik said, pulling at my arm._

"_Wait a moment." I said, tugging back. "I just want a few moments to look at it."_

"_Why?" _

_When I turned to face Erik, I noticed that he wasn't even looking at the opera house. If anything, I thought seeing the opera house would make him excited and bring a sort of homesickness to him. _

"_What's the matter?" I asked. "Aren't you some what excited to see the opera house again? Look Erik…." I pointed towards the roof. "Looks like they still have all the original gargoyles still there." _

_But Erik wasn't paying attention, he was keeping his glance as far away from the building as possible. _

"_We should move on before someone recognizes me."_

"_Erik…"_

"_I said now!" he growled._

_But I didn't move. Erik and I were supposed to be spending tome together and he didn't seem interested at all. _

"_I wonder if your lair is still there." The sudden idea popped into my head, and my curiosity to find out wouldn't leave my mind._

"_We should have a look!" I exclaimed. "Maybe we could find some things from all those years ago. Wouldn't that be great?" _

_At this point, I was trying to cross the street, but Erik grabbed my arm._

"_What are you doing?" _

"_Come on, Erik, let's go…."_

"_I am going no where, Christine. I am not going to the opera house."_

"_Erik, stop shouting." _

"_I will do nothing of the sort. Not until you stop acting like a child and come along."_

_Erik was being completely childish. How did he expect our relationship to change if he continued to act like this. We came all the way from New York, and for what? He wouldn't even go near the opera house. What could be so bad about visiting a destination from so long ago? I for one wasn't leaving this spot until Erik agreed. _

"_Erik, I'm going inside the opera house whether you're with me or not."_

_Erik let my arm go, and once I was free of his grasp, I dashed across the street into the alley where the basement windows were. I heard Erik screaming for me to stop, but I wasn't about to do such a thing. The window to the chapel was still there, and I gently kicked it open with my foot. Then, before Erik could catch up, I snuck inside. I remembered this window from when Meg and I were small girls. Once every month, Meg would pry me out of bed to sneak me out into the city. We would walk the lamp lit streets all the way to the Bois De Vincennes to catch fireflies. We used to keep this exact window cracked so we could get back in when ever we decided to come home….This was also a great way to stay out of Madame Giry's sight. _

_Once inside the chapel, I looked around to see that it hadn't changed. The walls were still cold and covered in spider webs, the window was still stained glass, and the sounds of dripping water hadn't vanished…._

"_Are you crazy!" I heard a muffled whisper, only to turn and see Erik standing behind me. _

"_You didn't have to come, Erik."_

"_And what? Stand outside?"_

"_Just keep your voice down."_

"_Keep your voice down? Did you forget that I'm the Opera Ghost?"_

_I giggled. _

"_You used to be, Erik."_

_Erik approached the wall, and pushed open his trap door._

"_Well then, let's see if I still have it in me."_

_The coldness from the catacombs instantly chilled my body, and as Erik reached out his gloved hand for my own, I couldn't help but have past images of this moment flash through my mind. It was so close to the night Erik revealed himself to me as a man….his icy gloved hand touching my own, the musty smell…..Everything was coming back to me. _

_Once inside the wall, Erik led me down the familiar hallway. It was extremely dark, but Erik's eye glowed yellow…._

"_Be careful, Christine."_

_Once we made it to the stairs, we walked carefully down each one, the only thing missing being Erik's horse to carry me to the gondola. The concrete floor was cracked with gaping holes making it extremely dangerous to walk on. Once we made it to the water's edge, we soon found that there was hardly any water. It was extremely shallow, a nasty green color, and smelled like death. What ever was left of Erik's gondola was sunk in the shallow gunk. Erik approached it, and tapped the rotting crud with his foot. _

"_So much for my lovely lake."_

_He didn't say another word, and walked behind a wall. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but this wasn't going to stop me. I slipped off my shoes, and stepped into the green liquid. It was freezing cold, but I wanted to get to the other side. It was then that I felt something sharp clamp around my left ankle. I cried out in pain, causing Erik to come running around the corner._

"_Christine!" he screamed my name ever so angry, and looked down at the green water. "What the hell are you doing!"_

_I tried to pull my leg out of what ever it was clamped into, but it was no use._

"_Where the hell did you think I went! Your leg is caught in one of my traps!"_

"_Get me out, Erik."_

_He ran away once more. Moments later, I heard a loud, rusty sound, and felt the clamp let go of my leg. It was then that Erik came rushing in, the green substance staining his suit pants. He scooped me up into his arms, and began hurrying to the other side. _

"_You've really done it now, Christine." he growled. "If the lake was filled, that trap would have pulled you down and drowned you."_

_When we reached the little house on the lake, Erik kicked open the door and entered the destroyed home. The once beautiful end tables were missing legs and turned over all over his home. His piano was smashed in half, the keys were cracked and missing….everything that was once beautiful was now destroyed. Erik laid me down on his old bed, and began examining my bleeding ankle._

"_How could you do this, Christine?" _

"_I didn't know." I cried. "You have to believe me."_

_Erik began rummaging around his room, looking for anything he could use to clean my leg with. _

"_Those bastards raided my house." Erik growled, circling his wardrobe. "They took everything…including what ever medical supplies I had."_

_It was then that I looked down at my leg to see it gushing blood and covered in the green slop. _

_When Erik couldn't find any supplies, he tore a piece of his white shirt and wrapped it around my ankle. _

"_This isn't good, Christine. Who knows what kind of disease was in that water."_

"_I feel fine, Erik."_

_I got up off his bed, and began walking around his lair._

"_Christine, come on, we should really be getting back. You need to have that cleaned out."_

_But I didn't listen to him, I wandered around his lair looking at the old trinkets he still had on his shelves. Yes, the mob had ram sacked his home, but they had left behind his most beautiful possession…His drawings._

_I reached down into the pile of rubble, and picked up a drawn picture of me. _

"_Are you ready to go, Christine?"_

_I ran my finger over the picture, and smiled._

"_Why is it that you don't draw me any more?"_

_Erik approached me, and looked over my shoulder._

"_Why draw you? I can look at you everyday, Christine."_

"_I found it special…"_

"_Did you now? I just did it so I had something to remember you by. It wasn't often that I could see you face to face, Christine."_

"_When we get my leg fixed, could we come back?" I asked. "To see a show in box five, like old times?"_

_Erik paused, thinking about what to say._

"_I'll….I'll think about it."_

_With that, he scooped me up into his arms again, and took a different way out of the catacombs. Our outing was cut short due to my injury, but being in Erik's arms again was something money couldn't buy. We stopped by Madame Giry's to get Eudora, and Madame became worried over my leg, but Erik promised her I'd be fine. The whole way back to Erik's house, Eudora questioned me about what happened. _

_Once home, Erik laid me down in my room, and left to get some medical supplies. While he was gone, Eudora jumped up on my bed, and began reaching out to touch my injured leg._

"_Eudora, if you touch your mother's injury I will punish you." Erik called from the other room. _

_This immediately stopped her. I couldn't help but giggle….Eudora always listened to Erik, because she knew if she didn't, punishment would surely follow. _

_When Erik came back out, he was carrying a basin and a bottle of alcohol._

"_Uncle, what happened to mother's leg? I thought you were having lunch together."_

"_It was an accident." he assure, shooing Eudora off the bed. "Your mother is a stubborn woman."_

"_Am not…" I argued. "How was I supposed to know your traps were still working."_

"_Christine…enough…"_

_Eudora's eye shot my way in confusion._

"_Traps? Uncle, what is mother talking about?"_

"_Nothing you should worry about, little one."_

_To punish me, Erik poured a splash of brandy over my ankle, causing me to cringe in agony. _

"_But I don't understand. Why would there be traps?" my daughter questioned._

"_See what you did, Christine. Filling the child's head up with nonsense."_

_Erik wrapped my ankle up tight with gauze, and rested it on a pillow. _

"_Uncle could we play with my dolls?"_

_My daughter held one of her dolls up to Erik, only to have him push it back to her._

"_Eudora, I don't play with dolls. I'm actually going to clean the downstairs family room. The sheets are still draped over the furniture. You and your mother play with them."_

_When Erik walked out of the room, Eudora looked down at her doll, and sighed._

"_Uncle never plays dolls with me."_

"_Love, I don't believe Erik would know what to do with a doll. Come here, I'll play with you."_

_This cheered Eudora up, and she sat beside me, handing me a doll and a small brush._

_As we sat there brushing her doll's hair, Eudora asked me something I thought she would never ask._

"_Mother, is there something wrong with, uncle?"_

"_What makes you say that?"_

_She shrugged, and looked me in the eyes._

"_I don't know, Madame Giry was talking about his mask with me. Uncle always told me that he wears the mask because he works in Coney Island."_

"_Yes, and?"_

"_Well…..we're not in Coney Island anymore."_

_I knew our daughter was going to ask this question to us sooner or later, and so I decided to tell her the truth. How could I lie to her about why he wears the mask?_

"_Your uncle wears the mask because people make fun of him if he doesn't."_

"_But why?"_

"_Because he was born looking a little funny."_

"_What do you mean?"_

_My daughter was smart, but I knew she was confused by what I was saying._

"_Eudora, do you remember when uncle Erik took you to his freak show?"_

_She nodded._

"_And do you remember what his employees looked like?"_

"_Yes, they looked different than everyone else. They wear funny clothes and do weird things."_

"_Yes, well, your uncle is sort of like them."_

"_But uncle doesn't wear funny clothes…..he does do strange things, but they're amazing."_

"_Uncle is different than his employees, Eudora. His employees may dress strange, and have weird talents, but Erik is different. His oddity is his face."_

_My daughter continued brushing her doll's hair, and I knew by the expression on her face that she was still confused._

"_But uncle has a pretty face." she stated. "How could he be odd that way?"_

_My daughter was so innocent and so kind. She didn't find anything wrong with Erik when most of the people in the world did. _

"_One side of his face is normal, and the side behind the mask is odd."_

"_How?"_

"_He was born…" I paused, trying to think of how to tell this to my four year old without scaring her. "He was born unfinished."_

"_Unfinished?"_

"_Yes, and that's all you need to know, Eudora. Just promise me you won't try to see your uncle without the mask."_

_Eudora nodded, and smiled._

"_If uncle is unfinished then why doesn't he fix it?"_

"_Love, Erik can never be finished. It pains him to know that he wasn't born normal, now let us talk about something else."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Well, uncle says you like to play with the other children at Phantasma."_

"_No I don't… it just seems like that."_

"_And why not? That's how you make friends, Eudora."_

"_The other children tease me."_

_My daughter pulled her knees into her chest, and looked down at her feet._

"_Why on earth would they tease you?"_

"_Mother, what's a bastard?"_

"_Eudora!" _

_I couldn't believe this! Children were calling my daughter a bastard because she didn't have a father. How dare they! There was nothing wrong with my daughter, and yet, she was teased as if she were a freak. _

"_Eudora, don't ever say that word again."_

"_I'm sorry, mother." she seemed scared, and I felt terrible for shouting at her. She didn't know….how was she supposed to know what such a word meant. _

"_One boy in the playground told me that people would stop calling me that horrible name if I had a papa."_

"_Eudora…" I opened my arms to her, and she crawled into my lap. "Love, you shouldn't listen to what other people say. People are cruel, you should know this. You don't have a father, Eudora."_

"_But why not? Everyone else does."_

_I brushed my fingers through her dark hair, feeling terrible for all the horrible things I ever said to Erik. If I hadn't said those things and lied, my daughter would have her father. _

"_Mother, do you love uncle Erik?"_

_I couldn't give my daughter false hope. If this relationship never worked out, it would break my daughter's heart._

"_Love, I've known Erik for a long time. I knew him when I was a child, and we've been friends a very very very long time."_

"_He loves you, mother, and I know you love him."_

"_Love, being friends and loving someone are two different things."_

"_But if Erik was my papa, then people wouldn't call me mean things anymore. I think Erik would be the best papa in the whole world."_

"_Eudora, stop. You'll come to know that things just aren't that easy. You can never be with someone just because your child likes him. Do you understand? Someday you'll find a handsome man to marry, and then have children of your own. You won't be caught up in the mess I'm in."_

_I knew this upset my daughter, but what could I do? I didn't want to upset her by giving her false hope. Erik had cleaned out my wound, but what ever was in that water began to make me sick. My leg was throbbing with agony, but Erik was there to make me feel better. That night, after putting Eudora to bed, he came in dressed in his night clothes and sat at the end of my bed to massage my foot. _

"_You don't look so good, Christine." he said, noticing how pale I had become. _

"_It was my fault. I shouldn't have stepped into that."_

"_It's in the past." he assured. "You can't change it, so don't dwell on it."_

_I wanted to hold a civil conversation with him, but couldn't think of anything but Eudora's problems._

"_Something wrong, Christine?"_

"_Erik, did you know Eudora is teased?"_

"_When? She's with me eighty percent of the time."_

"_When you let her play in the Phantasma playground, or behind stage when you're working."_

"_She's perfect, Christine, what could anyone possibly tease her about."_

_I paused, tears welling up in my eyes._

"_Did you know the children call her a bastard?"_

_This shocked Erik. He stopped massaging my foot, and looked down at his feet. I knew anger was boiling his blood and that he was trying to control it. _

"_I'll make them pay, Christine."_

"_Erik, that will do nothing. And why is it that you always resort to being the Phantom at such dark times like these, Erik? The Phantom is gone….You're a man! A man, Erik!"_

"_At least the Phantom took care of business."_

"_You can't go around punishing people, Erik, especially children. The world is cruel, and you, Erik, are a god damn man. Going to prison will do Eudora and I no good."_

"_And what? Let children go around calling my angel such revolting terms!"_

"_At least I know why she's been pushing us to be alone together."_

"_What?"_

"_She thinks by you and I loving one another will give her a father and to stop the teasing."_

"_And what did you say to her?"_

"_Erik, what could I say? I didn't want to give her false hope." _

_Erik scooted closer to me, and brushed a strand of hair out of my face._

"_You did the right thing, Christine. You should never lie to our daughter."_

"_Which is why I didn't do it."_

"_I'll spend some time with her tomorrow. I'll take her into town and get you some medicine. You're going to need it for the fever that's sure to come."_

_I laid back against my pillow, and sighed._

"_You should have been a doctor."_

"_I could have been a lot of things."_

"_You're a good father, Erik."_

_He shyly smiled._

"_I make a better uncle." _

"_Don't say that."_

"_But it's true, who would want the Phantom as their father?"_

"_Eudora."_

_Erik then got to his feet, and covered me up with the blankets that were on my bed._

"_Are you comfortable?"_

"_Yes, thank you, Erik."_

_He yawned, and took out his pocket watch to look at the time._

"_It's late, I'm going to bed, Christine."_

"_Goodnight, Erik."_

"_I'll check on you in the morning. If you need me, don't hesitate on calling….I'm just a short distance away."_

"_I think I'll be ok."_

"_I'm serious, Christine. I'm a light sleeper…."_

"_Erik…."_

"_Ok then, goodnight." _

_With that, Erik left the room, leaving me in the darkness. Perhaps there was hope for us after all…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review. Next chapter is going to be filled with Eudora/Erik fluff…. It's about time they have some quality father/daughter time together.**


	38. Chapter 38

"_It was something my mother drummed into me very early. I couldn't have been no older than two when she began to refuse to fasten my buttons or tie my mask in place. I remember her throwing a pole of clothes at me one day in a temper- She had a terrible temper, and I daresay it's where I got mine from. "Do it yourself!" she snapped. "You're simply going to have to learn to do things for yourself…Who else is going to touch your hideous self? Dare to fasten your buttons and mask! No one but you!" I sat in my room all day because I couldn't fasten that bloody mask and I didn't care to go downstairs without it….I have a daughter now, one I would do anything for…If she needed me to fasten her buttons, I would do exactly that, and I knew she would do the same for me….My mother was wrong."_

_- _Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_Sleep came easily to me that night. I lay there in my oversized bed, dreaming a wonderful dream about Christine and I. We were laying on this very bed, kissing one another as if it were the first time. I sighed at such a wonderful thought, and rolled over to crush my pillow closer to my chest. If only this pillow were Christine's very chest up against my own. Yes, I was afraid to fall back in love with her, but I couldn't stop thinking about my angel…_

"_Uncle?"_

_My dream began fading away, as the sound of my daughter entered my ears. But it soon disappeared, and Christine and I kissing began playing in my head once more. I was fingering her dress, as she was running her warm hands feverishly up my scarred chest. _

"_Uncle?" _

_This time the sound was louder. I heard it now. My dream completely vanished, and I sat up on my elbows only to see the black privacy drapes surrounding my bed. I tried to move my legs to another position, but they ached tremendously. Ever since I carried Christine out of the opera house, they've been bothering me. Plus the weight of Christine crushing my legs against my braces didn't help it either. _

"_Uncle?"_

_There it was again. This voice wasn't a dream; Eudora was here. I plopped back down against my pillow, and ran my fingers over the deformity of my face. What on earth could she want at this very hour?_

"_Yes, little one?" _

"_I had a night scare again."_

"_Eudora, this isn't the time to be wandering around the house. It's only a dream, little one, go back to bed."_

"_Could I….Could I sleep with you?"_

_My daughter wanted to sleep with me? This brought back memories of when I had horrible nightmares as a child. One evening they were worse than ever before, and I found myself creeping down the stairs of my home to my mother's doorway; a place strictly forbidden to me. I remember asking her if I could sleep beside her to sooth my nightmares, only to get a horrible lashing in return. I couldn't turn my daughter away, no, I had to make things between us better. _

"_Um…Yes."_

_I reached over on my nightstand, and placed my mask over my face before pulling back the privacy drapes enough for my daughter to crawl in with me. I gave her one of my pillows, and covered her body with the same quilt that was covered over me. _

"_This bed is really big." she said, looking around. "It's big enough to fit at least four people."_

"_Yes, well, this is the master bedroom." _

"_Uncle, I'm really scared to go to sleep. I keep having the same dream over and over again."_

"_Nothing is going to harm you, Eudora. I have nightmares all the time, and they never once hurt me."_

_My daughter snuggled into my chest, something I thought I would have never felt. Her small head was resting on my shoulder, as I lay there not knowing how to react to this. _

"_Promise me you won't ever let the bad dreams hurt me, uncle."_

"_I….I promise, now go to sleep."_

_I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me once more…until I heard Eudora's small voice again._

"_Uncle?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Do you feel bad?"_

_My eyes shot open within the dark, my hand brushing through her soft locks._

"_No, why would you think that?"_

"_About being unfinished?"_

"_Unfinished? What has gotten in to that head of yours?"_

"_I asked mother why you wear the mask in France. Remembers when you tolds me that you wore your mask cause you worked in Coney Island?"_

_Yes, I had once told my daughter this, but now she was back with more questions._

"_Yes, why?"_

"_We're in Paris, uncle. I asked mother why you're still wearing it, and she told me cause you were born unfinished."_

"_That I am. Your mother shouldn't have told you that."_

"_I'm not upset by it, uncle Erik. I told mother that you couldn't be unfinished because you have a pretty face."_

_This stopped my heart. I could only thank God that it was dark, otherwise, Eudora would have seen my tears. Never had anyone other than Christine say such a thing. I knew Christine found me handsome….how or why she thought so was beyond me, but Eudora….She was only four years old….Why did she care for me so much? _

"_The world doesn't think so, Eudora. It's sort of like the story I told you a while ago. The one about the three brothers."_

"_How so?"_

"_Well, the people in the world are death, and the mask I wear is the invisibility cloak. As long as I wear my mask, death will never find me."_

"_But uncle, I'm confused."_

"_You'll understand someday, Eudora, now go to sleep."_

"_But uncle…"_

_I patted the child on the head, and tucked her in close beside me. It was a strange feeling having our daughter sleeping beside me, but it was the best feeling in the world. The following morning, I awoke early, and decided to let Eudora sleep. I donned my robe, and headed down the hall to check on my poor Christine. It was still extremely early, but I knew she would most likely be awake. The pain in her ankle probably kept her out of a deep sleep mostly all night. I quietly entered her room just incase she was asleep, but she wasn't. She was laying there looking towards the ceiling, her leg propped up on a pillow. _

"_Sleepless night?" I questioned, examining her injury._

_My sweet Christine groaned in agony as I touched it. It was then that I left her leg alone, and placed my deathly cold hand over her forehead; she was burning up. _

"_Are you cold or hot?" I asked her._

"_A little cold."_

_I grabbed another blanket from the floor, and draped it over her body._

"_I'll make you some tea. It will help with the pain."_

"_I haven't slept all night, Erik. I just want to sleep." _

_I nodded, and left the room, headed for the kitchen to start the tea. After boiling the water for her tea, I went through my kitchen cabinet and found some sleeping powder I often used when I was in a lot of pain. After prying off the lid, I poured some into the water and then mixed in the tea. My angel wanted to sleep, and so she would without having her pain bothering her. I made some toast, and set everything nicely on a tray before carrying it up the stairs to her. When I returned to Christine's room, she was resting with her eyes closed, though, she was awake because as soon as I entered her eyes focused themselves on me. _

"_I brought you some tea." I placed the ceramic cup into her hands. "And a few pieces of toast."_

_Christine smiled, and sipped the steaming liquid._

"_English, my favorite."_

"_I know, Christine. Two lumps of sugar with cream."_

_As sick as Christine was, she still managed to giggle._

"_You know me like a book, Erik."_

"_I've spent enough time with you to know everything about you, my angel. The tea will help you."_

_She was already looking drowsy, and I fixed the blankets that were on her body. _

"_Get some rest. I'll bring you some medicine for that fever of yours."_

"_You're a miracle, Erik." she yawned._

_When her eyes were completely closed, I walked across the hall to my room to check on Eudora. She was up now, and sitting at my desk doing god knows what…._

"_Eudora?" I tried not to sound angry at her, but I couldn't help it, if there was one thing I loathed, it was other people touching my stuff. She turned to me with one of my pens in her hand. What on earth was she doing?_

"_What are you doing?" I asked her, approaching the girl's side._

"_Drawing a picture."_

_When I looked down at my desk, I saw drawings all over my old arias. How dare she!_

_I snatched the pen out of her hand, and pulled her away from my abandoned work. _

"_Don't touch my stuff."_

"_I'm sorry, uncle…."_

_It was work that I hadn't touched in years. It meant nothing to me, and yet, here I was yelling at my daughter, upsetting her over spilt milk. _

"_Eudora." I calmed myself down, and placed the pen on my desk. "I'm sorry. I just don't like people touching my things, you should know this by now."_

"_I'm sorry, uncle Erik. I shouldn't have touched your music sheets. I'll go see mother now…"_

_I grabbed her arm._

"_No, don't go anywhere near her room. Your mother is very sick, and finally fell asleep just a few minutes ago."_

_My daughter nodded, and looked around as if not knowing what to do._

"_Go get dressed so we can go into town and get your mother some medicine for her fever."_

_When she left the room, I quickly pulled out my clothes for the day and began stripping down my pajamas. As I was standing in the mirror fastening my trousers, my door reopened, and Eudora came walking in…..only she gasped at my bare chest and back. _

"_Uncle!"_

_I quickly grabbed my shirt, and tried to pull it over my head, but the damage had already been done. _

"_Can't I get a moment of privacy to myself?" I growled, pulling the remainder of my shirt over my shoulders. _

"_What's all the lumpy things on your body?"_

"_Nothing."_

_She approached me, and tried to reach out for my scars, but I pulled away and frantically buttoned it up. _

"_What happened to your body, uncle? I thought mother said your face was unfinished? What's wrong with your body?"_

"_Stop asking me questions."_

_This silenced her. My daughter then sat down in my chair and looked down at her brush. _

"_I didn't mean to upset you, uncle."_

_I stood in front of my mirror adjusting my cravat. _

"_I know you didn't mean to, little one."_

"_Uncle, could you brush my hair for me?"_

_After dressing, I turned and took the brush out of her small hands._

"_Of course." _

_She then sat in my lap, and I began to brush her dark locks. _

"_Uncle, could I ask you something?"_

"_Anything."_

"_If something were ever to happen to mother, what would happen to me?"_

_I paused with the brush in my hand._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Well, if mother ever passed. What would happen to me, uncle?"_

"_I….I don't know, and don't wish to think about something so horrible."_

"_They would send me to an orphanage, wouldn't they?"_

"_Eudora, I would never let that happen. You know I love you just as much as I love your mother."_

_My daughter turned to me, and wrapped her small arms around my neck._

"_Promise me, uncle, promise me that no matter what, I'll always stay with you."_

_The thought of having to raise my daughter on my own was frightening, but I knew it would never be that way. I knew Christine would always be there to help. _

"_Come, Eudora, let's get into town so we won't keep your mother waiting here alone too long."_

_I handed Eudora her cloak, and we left the house right after I put on my braces. The air was brisk, and the freshly fallen snow made walking for Eudora rather hard due to her height. Once we reached the drug store, I approached the counter as my daughter ran over to a bunch of jars filled with candy. The man behind the counter gave me a dirty look, he seemed scared, but I ignored it. _

"_Have I seen you around here before?" he asked. _

_I fingered my mask, knowing why he found me familiar. I knew some of the pain from the past was just too much to let go. How could someone ever forget the night I burned the opera house and took Christine off stage? _

"_I don't believe so." I choked. "I need some medicine for my….my friend."_

_But the pharmacist wouldn't back down._

"_Wait a minute…..I seen your posters….a long time ago, you look just like him."_

_I was beginning to get irritated with this asshole's assumptions. Christ, it was ten years ago….and yes, I was probably still a wanted man, but I was here trying to keep the peace, wanting nothing more than some medicine for Christine's fever. Was there not a place in the whole city I could go to and be treated normal? Ten years ago, the Phantom would have strangled this ass without a single thought….so why was I still standing here with my hands in my empty pockets?_

"_Excuse me, Monsieur." I angrily growled. "I am losing my patients. You have a lot of nerve holding me up like this and making false accusations about me. If you must know I just arrived here a few days ago, from Coney Island."_

"_Oh, the land of a thousand freaks." he cruelly teased, reaching for a shelf stocked with medicines. "I should have figured that. I'm sorry, it's just that there was a man ten years ago that lived within the opera house. He wore a mask like the one you're wearing to hide his hideous face."_

_My hands were sweating._

"_They called him the Phantom."_

"_And….And what happened to this fellow?" I asked, taking out my wallet to pay the man._

_The man shrugged._

"_His body was supposedly thrown in the underground lake. They drained the lake, but never found his body. Sometimes if you're in the opera house, you can still hear his crazy laugh….."_

_I rolled my eyes. Such garbage, such crazy myths. Had my legacy really lived on all these years?_

"_I don't think that's possible." _

"_Oh, but it is. The ballerinas hear his voice in the corridors and near the opening of the catacombs."_

_Once more I rolled my eyes to this. Surely it was just the sound of scurrying rats and singing echoing throughout the opera house. _

"_Some say, the opera ghost is waiting for his little diva Christine Dian to come back….."_

"_Daae." I corrected._

_The man's expression changed to one filled with confusion._

"_How did you know that?"_

_I shrugged._

"_Took a wild guess."_

_I then grabbed my medicine from him, and turned to find my daughter still looking over the jars of candy. _

"_Find anything you like?"_

_She turned to me and smiled….oh, how she had Christine's smile. _

"_Just some hard candy."_

"_Well pick a few, little one."_

_Her eyes lit up with excitement._

"_Really?"_

_I nodded, and watched as her tiny hands reached into the assortment of jars to pick out some flavors. When her tiny hands were filled to the top with the small candies, I chuckled, and pried her away._

"_Enough, Eudora, your mother is going to kill me if I bring you home high on a sugar fit."_

_My daughter giggled at my remark, and placed the candies on the counter so the pharmacist could place them in a small brown bag. After paying for them, we walked out and headed towards the park. My daughter was full of energy, and I knew the only way to keep the afternoon quiet in my house was to run down her energy in hopes that she would sleep and stay quiet the remainder of the day. _

"_Uncle, where are we going?" I heard her ask._

"_To the Bois De Vincennes."_

"_Bossy Violin?" she questioned._

_I chuckled, as we entered the park._

"_Bois De Vincennes." I corrected. "It's a wonderful park. Your mother used to come here all the time when she was a child."_

"_Did you?"_

_I glanced towards the sky, feeling the warmth of the sun against my face. Never like this…..never like this…_

"_Yes, but….at night." _

_I did all my traveling at night. I knew if I dared to step out during the day, I wouldn't be standing here now with a beautiful daughter beside me. Once she got glance at the frozen pond with the ducks sitting on it, she began running towards them. I tried to keep up with her as much as I could, but with the braces it was nearly impossible. She stopped at the edge, while I took a seat on the nearby bench._

"_The duckies are cold." she exclaimed, watching them waddle out on the stiff ice. _

"_No, they love this sort of weather. Come here, let us take a rest."_

_I was gasping for air from running. I was never tired like this chasing after Christine when she was a child…..I guess my age was finally settling in. _

_Eudora plopped herself beside me on the bench, and opened her bag of candy. _

"_So when's you and mother going back out again?"_

_Her small legs were swaying back and forth, anxious for my answer. I rested my back against the bench, and looked down at her unwrapping her first piece of candy. _

"_Your mother is very sick now, Eudora. It's going to take time for her to heal."_

_Across the pond, there was another father and daughter passing by. They were laughing and throwing snow balls at one another. I couldn't help but look down and notice the sad expression my daughter had across her face. It broke my heart more than anything in the world to see her sad. I wanted to do something to cheer her up, but what could I do? She wanted a father, and it was the one thing I couldn't give her. _

"_Hey, did I ever tell you the story about the king of France and his little princess?"_

_My daughter wouldn't look away from the father and daughter across the pond. Her eyes moved with them, even as I tried to cheer her up. _

"_Eudora, I'm asking you something."_

"_Hmm?" she finally looked away, giving me another chance at cheering her up. _

"_Did I ever tell you the story about the king of France and his little princess?"_

_She shook her head. _

"_It's a true story, one that happened in this very park."_

_I was a story teller…..I used to tell Reza the most wonderful stories I had made up only seconds before, only to have them turn out to be classics in his eyes. My daughter also loved my stories, so what better way to cheer her up than to make up a story to tell her and make her believe that it was real. _

"_Well, there was once a king who was ruler of all France. He had a beautiful queen and a lovely little daughter; princess to the city. One day an evil witch arrived in France. She was unhappy with her life, and hated when she saw how happy the king was. So, one night he turned the kings wife into a diamond covered staff and hid her within this very park. She said in order for the king to get his wife back, he and his daughter would have to find the staff."_

"_What happened? What happened?" my daughter exclaimed in excitement. _

"_The king and his little princess trudged through the deepest darkest woods of the park, coming across enchanted dragons and little trolls that were guarding the path."_

"_Did they find the queen!"_

"_The king gave up after many years…but some say the princess is still out there searching for her mother."_

_It was then that Eudora jumped off the bench, and pulled me to stand up._

"_Come on, uncle! Let's find the staff…."_

_My plan had worked, my little daughter was smiling and laughing as she ran ahead of me towards the trail. _

_I chased her halfway into the woods, when I caught up to her, and stopped my daughter from running. I crept up behind her, and spoke ever so softly into her ear._

"_We have to be extra careful." I dramatically played along. _

"_Why's that uncle?"_

"_Do you see the tracks?"_

_I pointed to the unmarked ground, letting Eudora's imagination free._

_She gasped._

"_Yes, uncle, you're right. This is where the enchanted dragon is hiding."_

"_How are we going to pass?" I asked, still playing along with her._

"_Wait! I brought my invisibility cloak."_

_I smiled at my daughter's imagination, and played along as she pretended to drape us with the so called cloak. _

"_Now he won't be able to see us." _

_Once we began walking along the trail again, I picked up some snow, and rolled it into a ball. I snuck behind a tree, and then through it at her back. Over and over again I did this as she ran to hide behind a tree. _

"_Oh no, Eudora, we're being ambushed by the trolls!"_

"_I'll stop them, uncle!"_

_My daughter picked up some snow and began throwing it my way. _

"_They'll never stop me now!"_

"_We'll see about that."_

_I came out of hiding, and chased after her, as she giggled and picked up a stick._

"_I found the staff!"_

_She waved it into the air, and I gently tackled her into the snow, tickling her and listening to her giggle. _

_Once our game was over, I lifted my daughter up, and brushed the snow from her clothes. _

"_Come along, little one. We shouldn't keep your mother waiting any longer."_

"_Ok." _

_My daughter was me, and at least I knew how to make her feel better. She may know me as nothing more than an uncle, but I was trying to be her father. Yes, Christine did a better job at being a parent, but Eudora was my twin, and knowing how to make things Christine couldn't control better again, made me feel good. It was nice to finally have someone who understands my problems because they too have the same problems. _

"_When mother is better, can we do this again with her too?"_

"_We'll see. Right now, I'm really concentrating on getting her back to normal again. But when ever she is better, I don't think it be a problem. I'm sure she would love to come here." _

"_And could we go shopping? Mother said she was going to buy me some outfits."_

"_Yes, Eudora, but your mother must get her rest until then."_

_When we finally reached the house, I opened the door and entered with Eudora. I took her cloak, and hung it over the fire with my own, ready to take Christine's medicine up stairs to her. My daughter yawned, and I knew that my plan was working. _

"_You should rest for a while, Eudora." I suggested. "I'll be back down in a little bit and then you can help me make dinner."_

_She spread herself out along my couch in the family room, and I covered her with the blanket that was sitting on top of it. When she closed her eyes, I headed towards the stairs, only to stop when I heard her voice calling for me._

"_Uncle?"_

_I looked down at her body._

"_Yes?"_

"_Thank you."_

"_For what?"_

"_For the wonderful day."_

_A warm sensation hit my heart, and a smile lit my face. _

"_It was quite wonderful, wasn't it?" I murmured. _

"_Being with you is like being with a father."_

_I was speechless, and only smiled once more before continuing up the stairs…._

* * *

**Please review! Oh, and if there is anything between Erik and Christine or between Erik and Eudora that you all want to see happen, let me know. I love getting what you all want included in the story somehow. Thanks! **


	39. Chapter 39

"_And now the only thing left to do_

_Is to wait and hope that our love can mend_

_I love you Erik, this I cannot pretend."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_The house was silent. That's what I remember after waking up from falling asleep. I don't know how it happened, but after drinking the tea Erik had made me, I immediately felt drowsy and the next thing I knew, I was asleep. When I awoke, the house was in silence. My leg was throbbing in agony, but at least I was rested. After a while, I heard a door slam shut, only to wonder what was going on. Deciding to find, I gently rose from the bed, and limped out into the hallway. _

"_Erik?"_

_I softy called his name, waiting for a reply. When I didn't get one, I looked towards his room, only to see small red droplets on the floor. I gasped, and reached down to touch one of the droplets….It was blood…._

"_Erik!" I gasped his name, and hurried to his closed door and knocked._

"_Erik, are you in there?"_

_I didn't get an answer. _

"_Erik, are you and Eudora ok?"_

_When he didn't answer again, I pounded on the door._

"_Erik, open the door!"_

_Once again, he wasn't answering so I opened the door, gasping at the horrible sight that I saw. There was Erik, standing near his window soaking wet and his exposed skull gushing blood. _

"_Erik…"_

_I hurried to him as quickly as possible, to try and help him. His hand was pressed against his skull, not knowing what to do. _

"_Erik, you're soaking wet…..what happened to you?"_

_I limped to his wardrobe closet and pulled out some cloths to cover his gushing head with. _

"_Here, Erik."_

_I pressed the cloths against his head, only to hear him cringe. _

"_Press tightly, Erik."_

_His trembling hand rose to his head to press against the cloth as I moved to his soaking wet clothes. My poor angel's body was turning blue, and he was shaking tremendously. My fingers pried at the buttons of his shirt, my warm hands making contact with his chest for the first time in years. _

_When his shirt was off his shoulders, I draped him with his warm quilt. As his quilt was wrapped around his shoulders, I went for the lining of his soaked trousers to pull them down. What happened to him? Why was he gushing blood and soaking wet? I wanted to know, but the most important thing was getting him warm. I backed him up against his bed, and forced him to lay down so I could examine his skull. _

"_Erik, stop moving." I warned his fidgeting body as I went for the cloth that was pressed against his head. I reached over on his night table for the bottle of brandy he had sitting there, and poured some on his open would, only to hear him scream. Once the blood was cleared away, I was able to see that one of his veins had burst, but it had to be because of a fall of some sort. I gently wrapped his wound up in gauze, before removing his blood stained mask away. He reached out for it, but I didn't give it back._

"_I'll clean it, Erik…."_

_But something else was wrong…..He hadn't spoken to me, and I now knew the reason why. He had blood dripping from his mouth, and his jaw looked crooked. _

"_Erik?" I reached out to touch it, only to have him cry out in pain. No, this wasn't done by falling down the stairs, someone had done this to him. Without hesitating, I tore a long piece of cloth, and wrapped it around his mouth to cradle his jaw. For a few more moments, I stood there rubbing the blankets against his body to get the chill out of him. We might have no longer been lovers, but Erik meant the world to me. Seeing him like this made me my heart break in half. I waited until he passed out from his pain before leaving him. My daughter was around somewhere, and I needed to find out if she knew anything. I carried Erik's mask downstairs, only to pass the couch and spot my daughter sleeping there. _

"_Eudora…." I shook her shoulder, and she opened her eyes. _

"_Mother? What are you doing out of bed?" My daughter sat up and rubbed her eyes._

"_Eudora, did you see uncle Erik come in a few moments ago?"_

_Eudora shook her head. _

"_No, he went back out a while ago saying that the pharmacist gave him the wrong medicine for you and that he wanted to get the right one. I asked to go with him, but he told me he wouldn't be long and that I should just go back to sleep. Why? Is something wrong?"_

_I hid the bloody mask behind my back, and shook my head._

"_Uncle Erik is sick."_

"_Is he ok, mother? Mother, let me see uncle….."_

_I gently pushed her back down, and tried to calm her down._

"_Uncle Erik needs his rest, love. Can you promise me that you'll let him rest?"_

_It took a few moments for her to agree, but my daughter finally nodded. _

"_Come on, let's get some dinner. Afterwards I'll put you to bed, your uncle is going to need a lot of care tonight."_

_My daughter followed me into the kitchen, where she sat down as I washed Erik's mask in the sink. _

"_But how can uncle Erik be sick, mother? He was fine….he took me out today, he took me to the park and we had a snow ball fight, and he told me stories…."_

_I couldn't help but smile, my Erik was such a wonderful father."_

"_What else did you two do?"_

_Eudora took out a small paper bag, and held it up._

"_He boughts me candy."_

"_Candy?"_

"_Yes, he told me to pick out some candy at the store, and he boughts it for me."_

_When the blood stains were washed away, I dried his mask, and placed it on the counter. _

"_Alright then, love, what would you like for dinner?"_

"_I'm not really hungry anymore, mother."_

_I knew my daughter was upset about Erik being sick, which being the reason why she didn't want to eat, but I made her a sandwich and shared half of it with her. Afterwards, I put her in her nightgown and tucked her in. _

"_Now get some sleep."_

"_Mother, will uncle be ok?"_

"_Yes darling, he needs his rest and he'll be fine."_

_It was then that Eudora reached in the covers of her bed, and took pulled out her favorite doll._

"_Lilly will keep uncle company."_

_I smiled, and took the doll out of her small hands. _

"_I'm sure she will. That's very thoughtful to give him your doll, Eudora."_

"_Uncle needs her more than me."_

_I kissed my daughter on the forehead, and stood to leave, limping out into the hall. Once back inside Erik's room, I lit a fire in the fireplace, and sat the doll down on his nightstand. My poor angel was still asleep, but the blue color of his skin had began to fade away. Now that he was warm and dry, I rummaged through his wardrobe closet and pulled out a pair of his night clothes. I unwrapped the covers from his naked body, and noticed that his braces were still locked around his legs. My hands gently glided over each clip to unlock them before slipping off the first one. _

"_Ch…Christine…."_

_I glared up from his free leg, to see him still asleep. I had heard my name, but could only wonder if he was saying it to me, or calling it out in his sleep. When my hands touched his other leg, I heard my name being called again. _

"_Ch…Christine."_

_This time when I looked up, his eyes were slightly open._

"_Erik, how do you feel?"_

_I unlocked the final brace, and slipped his leg out of it before putting his legs into each pant leg of his night trousers. _

"_Y….Y…you should…..be….in bed." he weakly stated. _

_I worked the pants up his legs and butt before buttoning them at his waist. _

"_A little fever isn't going to keep me away from you, Erik."_

_I reached for his night shirt, and placed my hand over his hot forehead._

"_Erik, you're burning up."_

"_N…N..No more than you."_

"_Put your arms around my shoulder." I told him, getting ready to put his shirt around his back. _

"_I…I can't move…."_

_This broke my heart. My poor angel needed my help, and I wasn't going to back down. I lifted each weak arm, and placed it around my shoulders before lifting his limp body up just enough to slip his open nightshirt behind his back. Afterwards, I gently placed him back down, and slipped each arm into a sleeve. _

_As I looked down at the part of his exposed chest sticking out from his nightshirt, I couldn't help but notice how shallow his breathing was. _

"_Are you breathing ok?" I worriedly asked him. _

"_Y…yes….I'm just….cold…."_

_Without another moment to spare, I buttoned his shirt closed, and draped the blankets back over him. _

"_Erik, tell me what happened to you."_

_I caressed his broken jaw, hoping he would explain everything to me. But instead of telling me, he reached clumsily onto his nightstand for a notepad that was placed there. I knew he could hardly speak as it was because of the pain in his jaw. After a few moments he handed me the scratchy weakly written note, and I read it, each line more painful to read that the next. _

_He had apparently gone out to return the wrong medicine that had been given to him for my fever. After coming out of the drug store with the right medicine, three men approached him and told him to hand over his wallet. Erik had tried to fight them off, but one dislocated his jaw and the other pushed him onto the icy nearby pond, hence his gushing head. The ice broke, and he fell into the water. The thugs had held him under the water until they could get a hold of the wallet that was stored in the lapel of his jacket._

_How could people be so cruel? My angel was out getting medicine for me, and now he was sick. His note had said enough, I didn't have to prolong the pain. I placed the notepad down, and handed him the bottle of brandy so he could take a swig to soothe his pain._

"_Here…."_

_Erik pointed to the bottle of red colored liquid._

"_Drink a…a…cup of that." he instructed me. _

"_Is that my medicine?" I asked him._

_He simply nodded, and I poured the red liquid into its cap before drinking it. It tasted horrible, but if it was going to bring down my fever, the taste was worth it. I then poured Erik a cup, and held it up to his lips._

"_No…."_

_I pushed the medicine to his mouth._

"_Yes."_

_When he finally drank it, I fluffed his pillow, and approached the end of his bed. I hopped up on his mattress, and sat his feet in my lap. _

"_Thank you for the medicine, Erik, that was sweet of you."_

"_In the end…we…we both needed it."_

_I began to massage his cold feet with my warm hands, trying to get them warm as well. _

"_Erik, you don't have to tell me, I know what happened to you from your note. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I can't help it but want to blame myself."_

"_No….D…Don't say that."_

"_It hurts, Erik. Knowing that something happened to you broke my heart. We came on this trip to try and work things out, but we haven't fixed one thing between us yet."_

"_Wh..What is there to talk about?"_

_I looked down at Erik's feet, and then back at him, thinking about what to say._

"_Is there not one ounce of love left in your heart for me?"_

"_Only all the ounces the world can hold."_

"_Then what's holding you back, Erik? I've been trying my hardest with you and yet, your attitude towards me has stayed the same."_

"_I…I told you, Christine."_

"_And yet, you love your daughter like a father should."_

"_How else…should I act?"_

"_Like her father, Erik. Can you for one moment forget that I lied to you about Raoul, and let your emotions for me free? I let my emotions free everyday of the week, Erik. I came rushing to you the moment I saw blood on the floor."_

"_And I you…with your leg."_

"_Then why can't everything change?"_

_Erik didn't say anything, and just laid there. _

"_Erik, please say something. Our daughter needs us both."_

"_Ok…."_

"_Ok what?"_

"_We….We…can try."_

"_And what made you agree to this?" I asked smiling at him._

"_You massaging my feet."_

_I giggled, and continued rubbing them._

"_If I would have known this, I would have done this four years ago…"_

"_D..Don't push it."_

"_I'm teasing, Erik."_

_It was then that I heard Erik's grandfather clock strike the hour of midnight. _

"_It's getting late." Erik said, pressing his head against his pillow._

_I nodded, and lifted myself from off the bed._

"_Wait…."_

_Erik pulled me gently back, and I plopped down beside her. _

"_Y…You helped me, now….I'll help you…."_

_I laid there beside him as he rubbed my bandaged ankle. It was hurting me, but after Erik began rubbing it, I felt much better._

"_Thanks, Erik."_

"_It wouldn't be fair."_

_I soon began to feel sleepy, and Erik covered me up._

"_No, Erik, I should really be getting back to my own bed."_

_But Erik wouldn't listen._

"_You….you want to fix things…we're starting…now."_

"_Now?"_

"_Yes….I..need to learn to trust you again….This is the easiest way…"_

"_Sleeping beside you?"_

"_Yes."_

_I got myself comfortable, and watched as Erik reached up for the rope for his privacy drapes. That's until he noticed Eudora's doll sitting on the night table._

"_What's that?"_

"_Oh, Eudora thought her doll would keep you company."_

_He smiled, and pulled the privacy drapes down over us._

"_That was thoughtful of her."_

_With that, we both fell asleep, for the first time together in four years. Everything came back to me; the familiar scent of Erik's cologne, the soft musical sound of his breathing….Everything was familiar and wonderful. The next morning, I awoke and left Erik alone so he could sleep. I knew he was probably experiencing the worst headache he ever had. When I reached the kitchen, Eudora was already there waiting for me, and in her hands she had Erik's clean mask. _

"_Eudora, it's early."_

"_I know, but usually it's uncle who is down here with me at this time."_

_I took the mask from her fingers, and set it aside._

"_I know, Eudora, but your uncle is sleeping. He needs his rest."_

"_I went into your room this morning, but you weren't there. Did you spend the night with him?"_

_My daughter was so full of questions…She was like Erik in every way. _

"_Eudora, your uncle needed help. I needed to keep an eye on his fever throughout the night to make sure it didn't rise."_

_My daughter didn't say another word, and I poured her a glass of juice._

"_Now drink something and let me get us our breakfast."_

"_When can I see uncle?"_

_This child was worse than a little baby wanting her father…only she didn't know he was her father. _

"_Eudora, that's enough. Uncle Erik is sick, and I want him to get better."_

"_Oh, please, mother, please let me see uncle. I won't make a sound, I promise."_

"_Eudora, I said no. After breakfast we'll play with your dolls for a while to let uncle Erik get his sleep."_

_After setting her breakfast down on the table, I loaded a tray with scrambled eggs and a cup of tea, heading towards the stairs with it to feed Erik._

"_Eat your breakfast, Eudora, I'll be back in a little bit."_

"_But mother….."_

_I backtracked to the kitchen, and took the mask from the counter._

"_No buts, Eudora. Your uncle needs to be fed too."_

"_Not fair, mother."_

_I didn't say another word, and headed up the stairs to Erik's room. Once inside, I sat the tray down on the night table, and pulled back the privacy drapes to find Erik still sleeping. To let some light into the room, I cracked open the curtain just enough to let the winter sunlight vanish the darkness. From the bed, Erik softy groaned, and placed his arm over his eyes. I knew with the terrible headache he was most likely experiencing, the sunlight wasn't helping it. _

"_Erik, I brought you your mask." I set it on the table. "And your breakfast."_

"_Leave it." he groaned. "I'm much too tired to eat."_

"_If you expect that fever and sickness of yours to go away, you won't fight me on this, Erik."_

_I sat there at the side of his bed, holding a forkful of the scrambled eggs up to his lips._

"_Now eat."_

_He opened his mouth just enough to take in the food without disturbing his injured jaw. But even as he chewed, the pain in his head brought him complications with eating his breakfast._

"_Erik, take your time. I'm in no rush."_

_From his lungs came a terrible cough, one that sounded worse than a regular one. I knew being wet out in the cold had done more than make him shiver. I knew he was extremely sick…_

"_That doesn't sound promising." I held the cup of hot tea to his lips. "The herbs in the tea should help."_

"_I just want to sleep, Christine."_

_He ate most of his eggs, and drank half of the tea. Satisfied, I covered him up, and repositioned his head on the pillows beneath it._

"_Your daughter has been asking about you, Erik."_

"_Not now, Christine. If you send her in here, she'll never leave. I love the girl with all my heart, but you know how she is. She'll be having her dolls romping all over me…."_

"_I know, which is why I won't let her in."_

"_Could you do me a favor?"_

"_Anything." I said, closing the curtains, letting darkness overtake the room once more._

"_Warm me up a cloth to place on my head."_

_I brushed a few strands of hair away from Erik's face, and nodded._

"_Yes, I'll be back in a few moments."_

"_Take your time." he reminded me. "You must go easy with that injured leg of yours." _

_Once down stairs again, Eudora was no longer in the kitchen. Deciding that she most likely found something else to do, I continued with my promise to get Erik a hot cloth. I took an extra one from the linen closet, and placed it in the oven for a few moments. _

"_Eudora?"_

_I called her name, hoping to hear a reply. When she didn't answer, I called her again._

"_Eudora Mulheim! You will answer me when I call you." _

"_What?" I heard her voice from down the hall. What on earth she was doing down the hall was beyond me, but I wasn't about to just stand around and let it happen. Down the dark hallway there was an open door, and inside was Eudora sitting at Erik's piano. This was his music room, and Eudora was in it. _

"_Eudora, get out of here this instant."_

"_But mother…"_

"_No buts, get out of here, this room is your uncle's personal music room."_

_My daughter pounded on the old piano keys, causing a cloud of dust to rise up into the air. I dragged her out of the room, and back to the family room where her dolls were laying all about. I never usually became mad at Eudora, but she had no right to do what she had just done. _

"_Young lady, you have no right to go snooping around your uncle's house. He didn't say you could go in there, which is why you have no right." _

"_I'm bored, mother. Can we please do something?"_

"_I told you we would do something as soon as I was finished taking care of your uncle. I shouldn't be much longer, Eudora."_

"_Can I go see him?"_

_Oh, why, why did Erik have to go out and get himself sick?_

"_Eudora, he's not in the mood. He's very tired and agitated. I promise I'll let you see him as soon as he's feeling up to it. Now play with your dolls and stop pestering me."_

_When my daughter was situated, I dashed back into the kitchen to get the cloth out of the oven to take to Erik. When I entered the room once more, Erik was laying there with his hand pressed to the bandaged wound on his head. _

"_Here." I softly said, placing the warm cloth over his bandaged skull. "This should help you."_

_Erik sighed to the relaxing sensation, and snuggled into his pillow. _

"_Does that feel better?" I asked, fixing the blankets on his bed._

"_Yes, thank you."_

"_If you need anything else, I'll be down stairs, Erik."_

"_Not at the moment, Christine. Thank you."_

"_When your cloth gets cold, call me and I'll heat it up for you again."_

_I waited for a reply, but Erik was already asleep. I watched him for a few seconds, and then turned to walk back down stairs to entertain Eudora. _

* * *

**Ok, please review! More fluff to come!**


	40. Chapter 40

"_I would keep my pride this time,_

_No tears_

_No degrading groveling to make me burn with shame at the memory_

_Pride was all I would have left to sustain me through the ordeal of her refusal._

_Pride would make me wish her well and let us part with civilized courtesy."- _Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_Pain, that's all I felt. My head was pounding and my legs were aching. Over and over again, my body cringed in the worst pain I ever experienced. Christine had been kind enough to heat me up a cloth, but the heat was slowly fading away. I had only run out to return the wrong medicine the pharmacist had given me, and instead I was mugged and beaten. But Christine, that lovely angel had cared for me, never leaving my side._

_I rolled over to burry my face within my pillow, only to have my head throb even harder. _

"_Dear, god…." I bit my lip, only to disturb my injured jaw. _

"_Stop…" I pressed my hand against my head, hoping to stop the pain. _

_When I opened my eyes, I noticed the bottle of brandy sitting on the nightstand. I groaned, and reached out for it. If anything was going to numb my pain, it was that. _

"_Erik?"_

_My door was opening, and Christine's voice was calling out to me. _

_When I couldn't reach the bottle of brandy, I plopped back against my mattress. _

"_Erik, are you ok? I heard you groaning from down stairs."_

_She rushed to my side, and picked up the cold cloth. _

"_I'll warm that up for you."_

_But Christine wasn't done yet, she placed her hand over my forehead, and gasped at the raised temperature of my fever._

"_Erik, your fever rose…."_

"_Christine, I'm in so much agony…"_

_When she saw me staring at the bottle of brandy, she pulled it away so I couldn't get my hands on it. _

"_Erik, alcohol will dry your insides out. You need water and juice to keep yourself hydrated."_

"_But the pain….."_

"_Erik, I'll get you your pain medicine."_

_Christine left for the slightest of seconds before returning with my syringe and pain medicine. After giving me my dose through my arm, I relaxed myself against my pillow, feeling Christine's fingers stroking my burning head. _

"_Erik, if you get any worse, I'm going to get a doctor for you."_

_No, a doctor was the last thing I wanted. I hated them, and if Christine got one involved I was sure to be recognized as the Phantom._

"_N…No, Christine, please…."_

_But before I could say another word, my medicine put me to sleep. Everything around me was burning. My eyes were burning, my skin was burning, and my legs ached in agony. When I opened my eyes again, something didn't feel right. I was still laying in my bed, but there was somebody else here….I saw someone pacing the floor at the end of my bed…. It was my master….I didn't want to believe that he was here…..but he was. He was pacing around my bed, looking at me, reaching for me, but never touching me. _

"_Stop…..Go away….."_

_I closed my eyes, screaming for him to go away, and when I opened them again, he was standing over me. His large hands reached out to me, touching my head with his thick fingers._

"_Erik….."_

_I heard Christine's voice, but couldn't see her anywhere. All I could feel were hands touching my boiling head._

"_Erik, shhhhh it's ok."_

_When I looked up at my master again, he was still touching me, but the voice was coming from him. When ever he spoke, he spoke in Christine's voice. God, what was happening to me?_

"_Don't touch me…..please…." I was pleading for my master to go away, but what ever I tried wouldn't work, for the hands continued touching my head. _

_I closed my eyes once more, and when I re opened them, Christine was standing in my master's place. What was happening to me? Why was I seeing things like this? She was placing her hand over my head, dabbing something cool to help bring down my rising temperature. _

"_What happened?" I groggily asked._

"_You're hallucinating."_

"_What?"_

_Without saying a word, Christine handed me a glass of juice, and I drank it without arguing with her. _

"_I'm starting to get worried about you, Erik. I mean, what if you got an infection in your wound? Your fever shouldn't be lasting this long."_

"_I'm fine, Christine."_

"_No you're not."_

"_Just let me rest, Christine."_

_Christine tucked me in, and headed towards the door._

"_I'm going to get Eudora some dinner. I'll check on you a little later."_

_As much as my fever bothered me, I laid there staring at the ceiling, hoping the hallucination of my master wouldn't return. A while later, when I couldn't lay there any longer, I decided to get up to clear my mind. After clumsily donning my robe, I slipped on my leg braces and headed down the stairs. I wasn't expecting Christine to still be up, but she was. She was sitting in the family room, reading with just the dim flame of a candle lighting her pages. _

"_Wh…what are you still doing up?" I cringed, almost stumbling down the final stair. _

"_Erik…." Christine placed her book down in her lap, and tried to stand in order to help me. _

_I waved my hand to get her to sit back down, but she wouldn't listen. She gently grabbed me by the arm, and sat me down in the loveseat beside her. _

"_Erik, you should have stayed in bed."_

"_I couldn't lay there any longer."_

_Once Christine sat back down beside me, she reached for the blanket folded neatly on the floor, and wrapped it around my shoulders. _

"_You're still sick, Erik, and I don't trust that fever."_

"_I'm fine." I assured. _

"_I still say you should be in bed."_

_When Christine picked up her book again, I couldn't help but look over at the pages to wonder what she was looking at._

"_What are you reading?"_

_She smiled, and flipped to the next page._

"_Hamlet."_

"_Of course. I knew you would get into my Shakespeare collection sooner of later."_

"_I hope you don't mind."_

"_Not at all, you've been helping me, the least I could do is let you read my books."_

_Christine put laid her book into her lap once more to reach up to gently touch my jaw. _

"_How does your jaw feel?"_

"_Sore."_

"_Erik, promise me you won't go out on your own anymore. I worry about you."_

_My angel worried about me! She worried about me so much that she didn't want me going out on my own. _

"_I…I promise."_

_She patted me on my lap, and stood to her feet. _

"_Where are you going?"_

"_I haven't eaten dinner yet. I was too busy trying to feed Eudora and put her to bed. I'm sure you're hungry too."_

_I was. I hadn't eaten hardly anything the past couple of days. My throat was dry, and I couldn't speak, only nodded. It was enough for Christine, for she helped me to my feet, and walked me into the kitchen. She sat me down, and turned to take a few things out of the cabinets. _

"_So what will it be?"_

"_What ever you're having is fine…" I groaned, rubbing my sore head. _

"_I think soup would do us good."_

_Christine took extra special care of me. She poured me a glass of juice, and heated up a pot of broth. I wasn't that hungry, but took a few mouthfuls to be grateful for Christine's generosity. _

"_I hope Eudora isn't causing much trouble for you." I said, looking at Christine who was sipping on her broth._

"_No, she's just anxious to see you is all."_

"_I know, and I'm sorry I've been sick."_

_Christine's hand caressed my scarred cheek, and I caressed her hand with my own._

"_Erik, don't ever apologize for that. You're a good man, and what happened to you wasn't your fault."_

_I looked down at my broth, and closed my eyes. As much as I wanted to continue eating, I couldn't. _

"_Are you finished?"_

_I looked up to see Christine ready to take away my bowl._

"_Yes, sorry….. I feel terrible for letting you make all this.."_

"_Nonsense, I was starving."_

_I finished my juice, and stood up from my seat. _

"_I'll clean up, Erik. Go on back upstairs and lay down."_

_I nodded, and slowly began walking back upstairs. I hadn't seen my daughter in a few days, and so I slowly opened her bedroom door. She was laying in bed fast asleep with one of her dolls snuggled tightly in between her arm. I approached her bed, and placed a kiss on her cheek. I knew I shouldn't have done it, because that kiss had caused her to stir in her sleep. I could only thank god for it being dark within the room, otherwise, she would have seen my malformed face. _

"_Who's there?" she groggily asked, sitting up, and rubbing her eyes with her hand. _

"_It's me, little one."_

"_Uncle? Is that you?"_

"_Yes. I came to say goodnight."_

_Eudora pulled the blankets closer to her chest, and hugged her doll._

"_How do you feel?"_

"_Still sick." I confessed. "And I'm sorry that I haven't been around much ."_

"_It's ok, uncle. I know you're too sick."_

"_Just do me a favor, Eudora."_

"_Anything."_

"_Go easy on your mother. You must have patients, and I promise once I'm feeling well again, we'll go back to the park."_

"_Yes, uncle."_

_My daughter laid back down, and I tucked her in. _

"_Goodnight….uncle." she said, yawning sleepily. _

"_Goodnight, little one."_

_I walked back down the hall, and crawled into bed. I wondered when Christine would be joining me, but I knew she was still cleaning up from dinner. I laid there with my eyes closed, slowly drifting off to sleep. My head was pounding, and I knew walking around had tired me out. I should have stayed in bed, but I was terribly restless…_

_When I heard the door open, I opened my eyes to find Christine walking in carrying her night gown. I pretended that I was asleep, and watched as she began changing in the candle light. It had been so many years since I saw my angel without any clothes on. Most nights I would lay there just thinking about it. She was still so beautiful after all these years. Once she was dressed again, she came slowly walking towards the bed, and crawled in beside me, still keeping quiet as if I were asleep. _

"_Thank You, Christine." I softly said, snuggling into my pillow. _

"_So you're still awake? I was sure you would have been asleep by now."_

"_I'm restless." _

"_It's ok, I understand."_

_Once more, I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me, but Christine was still awake. _

"_Erik?"_

"_Yes, Christine?" I murmured. _

"_What's the one thing you think about the most?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_About me? What do you think about when you're all alone at night?"_

"_I…I don't know." I lied. _

_What could I possibly tell her? That I lay in bed at night thinking about her body? She'd never trust me again if she knew this. _

"_Of course you know, Erik." she teased. "There must be something."_

"_Well, there isn't."_

_Christine sat up, and placed her head on her knees. _

"_I think about you all the time, Erik. Sometimes, night is the loneliest time for me."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I'm so used to sleeping beside you, Erik. But….for the past four years, I've gone to bed alone…..It's hard, you know."_

"_Oh stop your whining, Christine. You think four years was hard!" I snapped. "I've gone to bed alone my entire life! And then….just when I thought things would be different, you leave with that boy, and ten more years of sleeping alone happened!"_

_I don't know why I was yelling, but I couldn't help it. When Christine brought up moments like these, they upset me. This had also upset Christine, for she rose from my bed, and donned her robe. _

"_I….I should go to my room."_

_I was a monster. Here she was only trying to make things better between us, and here I was once again making them worse. _

"_Christine, wait…."_

"_No, I understand that I upset you, Erik. Sorry…."_

"_I upset you, because I am a monster."_

_Christine turned, and came walking back towards the bed. _

"_No, Erik, you bring pain to yourself. And it's not because you're a monster either."_

"_Look, Christine." I confessed. "I do think about you….almost every second of everyday. You know how terrible my temper is."_

"_Don't blame this on your temper, Erik."_

"_I'm terribly sorry, Christine."_

"_It's your own fault, Erik. I hope you're happy with yourself."_

_Christine turned, and headed towards the door…..She wasn't coming back this time. God! What could I do? What could I possibly do to make her love me again! I had to do something! I couldn't wait any longer for this to end. I knew if I waited until morning to apologize rightfully, the moment of passion would be long gone. When I heard the door to her room slam shut, I rose to my feet and thought of what to do once I was out in the hallway. I've screwed up too many times to just say "Sorry." No, I was way past sorry…._

_I stood in front of her door, thinking about what to say. What could I say to her? I reached out my trembling hand, and was about to knock when her door opened. She stood there in front of me, giving me this dirty look as if I were blocking her way. _

"_Erik, please move out of my way." she said, looking up at me. _

_My mind had run blank, and there wasn't anything left for me to say, nor was there anything left for me to do….It was now or never….. I don't know what made me do it, but that last bit of passion that was beckoning to get out escaped, and my lips pressed against my angel's. _

_It was a wonderful, heavenly feeling…..A feeling I had been waiting for four years to experience once more. Christine sighed, and pressed her lips closer to my own. It wasn't a passionate kiss, but I was happy with the chaste kiss that it was. _

_When we pulled away, Christine looked up at me, hungry and wanting more. _

"_What…what made you do that, Erik?"_

_I shrugged._

"_I've been wanting that for far too long."_

_A smile escaped her lips._

"_Me too."_

"_I know if I would have said sorry to you, it wouldn't have worked. I've screwed up way too many times to be sorry, Christine."_

_Christine stepped out into the hallway, and pulled me back into my room. Once there, she pressed her lips up against my own again. Our kiss this time was more passionate than the first, our tongues dancing with one another's for the first time in four years. I groaned at such a heavenly feeling, ignoring my body's urge to stop. _

_Soon, we were on my bed, Christine laying on top of me as she continued kissing my lips. _

"_Do you know what I've been waiting for, Erik?" she huskily asked in between kisses._

"_What?" I sighed._

_She pulled the privacy drapes down over the bed, and I began feeling her hands against the buttons of my shirt. _

"_I think you know, Erik….."_

"_Oh, Mon Ange…."_

"_Oh, Erik….say it again."_

_I gently rolled her over, and began planting kisses on every part of her neck. I didn't care about taking things slow with her….No, this was something we've both needed since the day we broke off our relationship. _

"_I need your body, Erik…..please tell me you want my body too."_

"_I yearn for nothing more, Christine."_

_Her lips were now kissing my malformed face. That sexual, wonderful feeling tore through my body like a thousand hands reaching down to my inner core and pulling out my lust for this angel who was beneath me. _

_Christine made her way back on top of me, and began kissing the small exposed flesh of my chest. _

"_Oh, Christine….don't stop."_

_I've wanted this feeling for four long years, and now…..Oh, now I was getting it. Her kisses were trailing from my chest all the way down to my trousers…..I was grabbing the bed sheets, and groaning to such pleasure…..But in a flash, it all came to an end…._

"_Uncle?"_

_It was Eudora….and my shirt was off! Christine immediately rolled off me, and I reached on the night table for my mask, but I couldn't seem to grab it…._

"_Uncle?"_

"_Yes, what is it?" I frantically asked, reaching around for my mask…._

_But my daughter didn't answer me. Figuring that she left, I continued fumbling around for my mask….Damn it! Where was it! But before I could find it, my privacy drapes opened, and my daughter stood before me…..I turned my face so she wouldn't see my monstrous face, but she was more fixated on Christine who was laying beside me. I only thanked God that my head was wrapped in gauze, otherwise, she would have seen my exposed skull._

"_Mother, what's going on? Why are you in bed with Uncle? And why is his shirt off?….And your lipstick all over his skin?…."_

_Damn it!_

"_Eudora, go back to bed." Christine said, sitting up._

"_But mother….I don't understand."_

_Christine turned Eudora to lead her out of my room, and only then was I able to find my mask. I sighed, and ran my hands through my hair to ease my mind….When Christine came back in, she was alone….._

"_How is she?"_

"_She'll be fine, Erik."_

"_Somehow I doubt that, Christine. How could we be so stupid…..It might have been ok four years ago but we've got a child wandering around."_

"_So do you regret all this?" she angrily questioned, her arms crossed in front of her chest. _

"_No, but now what will she think? Her mother and uncle in here having sex….."_

"_She doesn't know, Erik. She's four and completely innocent."_

"_And yet, she knows that your lipstick is all over my chest." I said, wiping away Christine's marks that were all over my chest. _

"_She doesn't need to know." _

_I buttoned up my shirt, and stood up. _

"_I'll be back…"_

"_Erik…."_

_Christine was trying to pull me away, but I wouldn't listen to her. I wouldn't have our daughter walking around confused over our relationship…._

"_No, Christine. Just go back to bed and I'll be with you shortly."_

_This was something I had to do. I entered her room to see her sitting up in bed with a doll in between her arms._

"_Eudora, you should be asleep."_

"_I know, uncle….but….I was just thinking."_

_I took a seat on her bed, and sat my daughter in my lap. _

"_Thinking about what?"_

_My daughter looked up at me with her innocent eyes. My daughter was so innocent, and yet, I couldn't figure out why she had to be caught up in such a horrible situation. _

"_About what I just saw you and mother doing in your room."_

"_Did that upset you?"_

_Eudora shook her head. _

"_It didn't upset me, it just confused me is all."_

"_Confused you how?"_

"_I thought you were my uncle…."_

"_I am…" I assured her. God! She couldn't know, not now, not ever._

"_But I thought in order to be an uncle you and mother had to be related….Like brother and sister….You are my mother's brother, right?"_

_I couldn't lie to her….but then again, I couldn't tell the truth either. And so, I told her the truth as much as I possibly could. _

"_I am not related to your mother, Eudora. In fact, we're not related at all."_

"_You're not?"_

_I shook my head. _

"_Sometimes, Eudora, if a mother has no living relatives, they call upon a good friend to become an uncle or aunt. Your mother and I are good friends. I've known her for a very long time, as a child even."_

"_Are you seeing each other? Like lovers?"_

_How I wanted to say yes, but I couldn't give my child false hope._

"_No, Eudora. Your mother and I love each other very much, but not….not in that way."_

"_Then why did you have mother's lipstick all over your chest?"_

_Oh, how embarrassing this was._

"_I…She…Your mother was healing my sores. You see, sometimes if you kiss a wound, it makes them all better."_

"_That's a lot of sores, Uncle…"_

_How my face wanted to turn red, but I had to stay calm, for my own protection. _

"_Yes, Eudora….there was a lot of sores."_

_I laid her down, and covered her up. _

"_Get some sleep now, little one."_

_My daughter softly giggled, and closed her eyes._

"_Goodnight, uncle, I love you…."_

_I smiled._

"_Me too…Now get some sleep."_

_When I closed her door, I backed up against it and heaved out a sigh of relief….I only hoped she would never grow up….for explaining such subjects when the time came would be harder than I thought….._

* * *

**Please review! Christmas is killing me with writing. I've been decorating and shopping like crazy..I'll try to have my next chapter up as soon as I can. **


	41. Chapter 41

"_Sweet talk of love has filled my head_

_Talk that has lead us to our journey's end._

_Say you'll never leave me alone,_

_And let me move back in your home._

_Love me now forever more_

_Oh, what does the future have in store?_

_I have no idea, I'm really not sure…"- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_The next few days stayed mostly the same. I would wake up beside my sick Erik, only to have Eudora bother me about him while making breakfast. Afterwards I would spend the remainder of the day trying to get rid of his fever. I was beginning to worry about him, but as the days went on, his illness slipped away. By the following Monday, Erik even came down the stairs to sit in the family room. He still had a terrible cough, but at least he was up and about. I'll never forget that morning. I came walking downstairs to see Erik sitting in his arm chair as the fire crackled before him. I kissed him on the cheek, and gently caressed his neck. _

"_How do you feel?"_

_He looked up at me with his masked face, and leaned back against his chair._

"_Stronger."_

_He coughed, the terrible wheezing sound coming from his lungs. _

"_Rest, Erik, I'll get you something to drink."_

"_Thank you."_

_I walked into the kitchen, and started a kettle to make him tea. When the water was boiling, I poured it into a mug with his tea bag, and went back out into the main room to give it to him. _

_After placing it his pale, shaky hands, I felt his forehead, relieved to find that his fever was gone. _

"_You look better." _

"_Come now, Christine, I look like garbage."_

"_Better than you did a few days ago."_

_It was then that Eudora came walking down the stairs. As soon as she saw Erik sitting there, she hurried to him, excited to see her uncle up and about._

"_Uncle, you're up!"_

_My daughter tried to jump up into his lap, but he cringed in pain._

"_Eudora…" I pulled her away from Erik's lap. "Your uncle is still very sick. You need to go easy with him."_

"_Sorry, mother."_

"_Come along. Let us eat breakfast and then I'll take you out."_

_When my daughter was in the kitchen, Erik stood up on his feet. _

"_Could I perhaps join the two of you today?"_

"_Erik, you shouldn't….."_

"_I'm sick of laying around, Christine."_

"_Your cough is terrible, Erik. I don't want you roaming around in the cold."_

"_I'll bundle up."_

_I knew there was no way to stop Erik from what he wanted to do. He mumbled something about getting a shower before walking up the stairs. As much as I hated the thought of Erik walking around in the cold, I knew there was nothing more I could do to change his mind. When he came back down, he smelled wonderful, and was dressed in his suit with his walking stick in hand. Eudora came out dressed in her coat and gloves, ready to venture out in the snowy weather. _

_Erik, being the sweetheart that he was, helped me into my cloak, and even wrapped my scarf around my neck for me. My leg still bothered me, but being able to walk outside was something wonderful. Our daughter walked ahead of us, as Erik and I walked beside one another. _

"_Are you sure you're warm?" I asked him. _

_The last thing I wanted was for his fever to return._

"_Yes, I'm fine, Christine." _

_Erik then interlocked his hand with my own. I gasped at this gesture, and knew things between Erik and I were getting better. _

"_I promised to take Eudora shopping." I said. "I told her I'd buy her some French clothes."_

"_That's perfectly fine. I want to check my post office box on our way. I haven't been able to check it because of how sick I've been."_

_I agreed, and continued walking towards the clothing shop that was on the other end of town. While I was entering the shop with Eudora, Erik told me he'd meet up with me as soon as he went for his mail. The post office was right across the street, making it easy for me to keep an eye on him from the store window. I told Eudora to pick out some clothes she liked, while I stayed close to the display window. No one would hurt my Erik again…..What happened to him was anything but right. I took turns, watching my daughter, and watching the post office door. Erik came walking out a few moments later with a stack of mail in his hands. After watching him cross the street, and knowing he was safe, I approached Eudora to see what she's found._

"_Oh, mother there are so many clothes to choose from!" she exclaimed._

"_Well pick out some that you like."_

_As Eudora began flipping through a few pairs of clothes on a rack, Erik joined me._

"_Hi, Erik."_

_He murmured a small hi, as he stood there flipping through his mail. _

_I began wandering around the store with Eudora as she searched for her outfits. She picked out a cute gray and purple colored coat with a matching beret as Erik stood in the same spot looking at his mail. When I was finished paying for her outfit, I joined him, only to see a look of anger and panic across his face. _

"_Erik, what's wrong?"_

_He looked up from the letter he was reading, and slipped it into his jacket with a few other letters._

"_Nothing…" he assured, taking me by the hand. _

_Something seemed wrong about him. For once we left the store and headed to the park, he didn't join his hand with my own. He also seemed very upset and on edge, as if any little thing would set him off. _

_Once we arrived at the park, Eudora ran towards the frozen pond as Erik and I sat on a nearby bench. He was silent, and I knew there was something terribly wrong….._

"_Erik…" I placed my hand over his thigh, and looked up at him. "What's wrong? You haven't been the same since we've left the clothing store."_

"_I…I got a letter." he told me. "I…I have to go back to Coney Island."_

"_Why? What's wrong, Erik…."_

_Erik was clutching his fists together, so tight that they were turning white. _

"_Mr. Squelch has written a letter informing me that Phantasma is in shambles. A terrible snow storm has everything buried in ice, and that no good Meg has turned my opera house into nothing more than a center stage Moulin Rouge."_

"_But Phantasma is closed to the public." I said._

"_I know that!" he spat. "Seems as though she's using my opera house for her own benefit because I'm not there!"_

_Erik was furious, and I couldn't blame him._

"_I have to go sort some things out." he told me. "I'll be back in a few weeks."_

"_No, we'll come with you, Erik."_

"_No, there's no reason for me to drag you into it, or cut our holiday short."_

"_There's always another time for a holiday, Erik. Phantasma is more important, and besides, Eudora and I will go crazy without you."_

"_I'm….I'm sorry Christine." _

_Erik felt terrible about all this, but it was perfectly fine. _

"_I'm a terrible friend." _

"_No you're not. It's not your fault Meg is taking advantage of your park, and the snow is nothing of your control."_

"_I'm going to give her a piece of my mind." he growled. "And when I get my hands on her….."_

"_Erik…."_

"_You may find her a friend, but I can assure you that she is nothing….nothing but the crud beneath my shoes…."_

"_Don't hurt her, Erik."_

"_I don't hurt people anymore."_

"_Mommy, look at the ducks!"_

_Both of us looked over at Eudora to find her watching the ducks walking onto the frozen pond._

"_Christine, I feel terrible for pulling Eudora away from all this. Look how happy she is…."_

"_Erik, it's fine. We'll spend Christmas in Phantasma."_

_I had wanted to do so many things in Paris, but I knew Phantasma was more important. That night, we were on the first ship back to New York. The weather was terrible, and ice and snow had caused our ship to rock terribly across the sea. This time around, Erik got us one room instead of two….It not only made me feel comfortable, but it also kept me closer to Erik through his sea sickness. Eudora was laying on her bed as I was laying on the extra one with Erik. _

"_Mother, why did we have to leave Paris? Is uncle still very sick? Is that the reason?"_

_I leaned up, being easy not to disturb Erik's sleeping form. _

"_Something bad has happened in Phantasma, Eudora. It snowed a lot and the workers are having trouble keeping the place shoveled and safe from the ice."_

"_That's not all is it?"_

"_No, Meg has also done something bad."_

"_I liked Paris….I didn't want to leave."_

"_We'll go back again someday, love."_

_My daughter played with her toes, and looked up at me, her eyes filled with such concern. _

"_Mother, could you tell me about my father?"_

_This caused me to gasp. Never had my daughter ever asked about her father. If only she knew her father was sleeping beside me…What could I tell her? _

"_Your father….he…he died."_

"_What was he like?"_

"_Kind, and he loved you very much, Eudora."_

_My daughter paused, and continued playing with her small toes._

"_Is it weird to say that it feels as if father never left?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Like uncle took his place…"_

_My daughter was so smart…..she was only four, but she was so smart. I could only hope that she would never find out the truth._

"_Love, you shouldn't think like that."_

"_I know, but…everyone else has a father…."_

"_I know, love…..But you must understand that sometimes children don't have fathers. My father died when I was very young….Your uncle has been there for me, just like he's been there for you."_

"_I love Uncle, mother."_

_I smiled._

"_I know. Now get some rest."_

_Eudora laid down, and clutched her stomach._

"_My belly hurts. The rocking of the ship doesn't make me feel good."_

_How badly I wanted to tell her about how alike her and her father were, but couldn't find it within my heart to do so. _

"_Rest now, love."_

_When Eudora was asleep, I laid down beside Erik, and stroked his hair. Because Eudora was also in the room, Erik kept his mask and wig on so he wouldn't frighten our daughter. _

"_Erik?" I softly called his name, as my fingers still ran through his fake locks. _

"_Hmm?"_

_He stirred in his sleep, and opened weakly opened his eyes. _

"_I'd rather keep my eyes closed." he murmured. "Watching the desk and wardrobe closet shift from one end of the room to the other makes me squeamish."_

"_I just wanted to know how you were feeling?"_

"_Sick…"_

"_Do you want some ginger ale?"_

"_Yes." _

_I reached over on the night table, and picked up the half filled glass of ginger ale._

"_Here."_

_I placed it up to his lips, and he slowly drank it. _

"_That should help your stomach, Erik."_

"_Thank you."_

_When he was finished with his drink, I sat it aside, and leaned my head up against his chest. _

"_Eudora isn't feeling well either."_

"_What's wrong with her?"_

_Erik shot up, and looked over at her._

"_Calm down." I told him. "She's only like you."_

_I kissed him on the lips, and heard a sigh of relief. _

"_Great. That's the last thing I wanted to happen…. let my daughter inherit my motion sickness."_

"_She is you, Erik."_

"_Unfortunately."_

_When Erik laid back down, I got the craziest idea in my mind….one that made Erik upset._

"_You know, Erik…..maybe we should just tell her."_

"_No….No we can not….You didn't tell her anything did you?" he snapped._

"_Of course not, but I think it's time she knew the truth."_

"_Never!" he angrily whispered. "Eudora can never know."_

"_And what, Erik? Have us become lovers? Become lovers without even letting our daughter know the truth?"_

"_And what will become of us once the whole city knows about Mister E's daughter that mysteriously popped out of the blue? The one Christine supposedly had with her husband who mind you, was away at war!"_

"_Erik, our daughter deserves a father, does she not?"_

"_It's too late for that, Christine. I am to be her uncle and nothing more….Now switch the subject before you wake up our daughter."_

"_It has to happen sooner of later, Erik. Our daughter can't keep going on like this. She tells me every night that she wants a father. I don't want her finding out the truth before we tell her. Do you know what that will do to her if she finds out on her own, that her whole life has been a lie?"_

"_She won't find out about it, Christine."_

_Why was Erik being so stubborn? He had a daughter who was exactly like him! _

"_She's smart like you, Erik. She can't be played like a fiddle….She's going to know sooner or later that you're her father. What will happen when she finds out how musically talented she is? Or how great her temper can be? Those are all the things she inherited from you, Erik…..She'll know right off the bat."_

"_No she won't!"_

"_Yes, Erik, she will."_

_He grabbed me by my night gown, and pulled me ever so close to him, so close that I could feel his mask against my chin._

"_This is exactly why we can't have a relationship, Christine!"_

"_And why is that?"_

"_Because you're always pressuring me about things like this….. We can't tell her the truth, and that is final."_

_I was about to say something, when Erik leaned over and vomited into the chamber pot below the bed. This caused Eudora to wake._

"_Uncle, are you ok?"_

_I rubbed Erik's back sympathetically, as he emptied his stomach. _

"_Yes….little one…I'm…I'm fine."_

_When Erik rolled onto his back, my daughter hopped into bed with us. _

"_I don't want you to be sick, uncle…"_

"_I'm fine, little one."_

"_Can I sleep here with you and mommy, uncle? I don't feel well…."_

_Erik covered her up, and held her body close to his own._

"_Of course you can, little one. I want you to feel better."_

"_And I do when I'm next to you…."_

_I wrapped my arm around Erik's chest, and fell asleep with all three of us together in one bed. _

_The following morning, I awoke with my arm still draped around Erik's chest. The rocking of the ship had subsided a little, but the ice hitting the ship was still as loud as ever. _

"_Erik, are you warm?"_

_I could feel him shivering through his blankets, and covered him with my quilt. But when I reached my arm further over Erik's chest, the spot Eudora was in was empty and cold._

"_Eudora?"_

_I lifted my head, and brushed the strands of hair out of my face to look across our room. It was empty, and our daughter was no where in sight. _

"_Erik…Erik wake up."_

_I shook his shoulder, hoping to wake him. He groaned, and rolled over to his side…._

"_Erik, wake up….Eudora is gone."_

_When he heard this, his eyes shot open, and he sat up._

"_What?"_

"_Eudora is no where to be found…."_

_He looked around the room, not believing a single word I had said. When he found out that she was truly missing, he shot up from his spot, and quickly fumbled with his leg braces. _

"_Come on."_

_He pulled me to my feet, and down the hallway we went. Eudora was nowhere to be found, and my heart was racing…..Erik pulled me up the stairs to the door that would take us outside. The air was freezing cold, and the snow was still falling, making the deck nothing but a sheet of ice. _

"_Eudora!" I called out her name, hoping she would answer. _

_Erik and I frantically walked hand in hand around the icy deck hoping to spot our daughter. If there was one thing I knew, it was that she was going to be grounded once we docked in Coney Island for this little stunt of hers. And where was she? Around the corner, sliding on the ice with her shoes…She was laughing and giggling, as she fell over and over again on the ice. God! One good slip and she could slide right off the ship and into the water without a single person knowing….she would be lost forever. When I spotted her, I left Erik's side and stomped right over to her and pulled Eudora up by her arm. _

"_What in the world were you thinking, young lady!"_

"_Mother…..I…I was just playing."_

_I violently spun her around, and pointed to the nearby edge of the ship._

"_You could have slipped right through the bars and fell into the ocean, Eudora! No one would have even known!"_

"_I'm…I'm sorry."_

_The seriousness in her voice was enough for me to believe her, but I was still completely furious about the whole situation. My daughter tried to look upon Erik for some sort of smile, but he was anything but pleased. He crossed his arms, and gave her one of his mysterious "Phantom anger" expressions. I knew the look. He had given it to me a thousand times before. His malformed lips would lean to one side, as his eyes followed me, even as I walked away from him…..He was now doing the same to Eudora, causing her smile to vanish. _

"_When we dock in Coney Island, Eudora, you are punished."_

"_Until when!" she whined._

"_Until further notice."_

"_And when is that?"_

"_Eudora….." Erik growled. "Don't argue with your mother."_

"_You're not my papa…." she wailed. "You can't tell me what to do…"_

_Eudora's temper was coming out, and it was just as violent as Erik's. Her remark had hurt Erik, and I wasn't going to stand around and let her back talk like she was._

"_Eudora….You will respect your uncle! Now apologize to him before I make you sorry for ever saying that."_

_My daughter sighed angrily, and looked away from the both of us._

"_Sorry…."_

"_To his face." I replied._

_She turned._

"_Sorry."_

_Erik didn't say a word, and I motioned towards the door._

"_Go back to the room this instant, young lady. Your punishment can start now…."_

_Our daughter stomped away, leaving Erik and I standing together in the cold. _

"_That hurt, Christine." he said, leaning up against one of the rails. "She won't even listen to me!"_

"_Erik, she always listens to you. You watch her all the time when I'm working."_

"_Christ! I can even discipline my own flesh and blood! You heard her! You heard what she said "He can't tell me what to do! He's not my papa!" _

"_Erik….please…."_

"_Well I am! I am her god damn papa, Christine! It hurts me so bad to keep this secret hidden day after day."_

"_Then why don't we tell…."_

"_No!" Erik snapped. "I don't want to start this subject again…."_

"_Erik, having a child is all you ever dreamed about, and I know it hurts you for things to be this way."_

"_Christine, stop…."_

"_No, only if you say you don't love me will I stop…..I love you, Erik, and I know you love me too…..You may not be able to say it, but I know deep…."_

"_What do you know!" _

_He pounded his fist on the icy railing._

"_What do you know, Christine!"_

"_That our daughter loves you, and she's living a lie!"_

"_Stop Christine! Just stop!"_

"_I will do nothing of the sort. How much do I have to pound in your head!"_

"_Nothing you devil of a woman! You don't have to pound squat into my head! And just for the record, why don't you stay out of it!"_

_I grabbed onto Erik's shirt, and joined our bodied together._

"_Tell me you don't love me, Erik….Tell this to me and I will leave you alone for the rest of your life…."_

_He looked down at me, his pale face turning wet from the snow. _

"_Why would you even ask me to say such a thing?"_

"_I would do it, if that would make you happy."_

"_What?"_

"_Leave you forever. I am a bother to you…..a heart ache…."_

"_Never….You, Christine are anything but a bother, and I refuse to lie to you. I've never lied to you…..I can't say the same about you, but…I…I thought things were working out just fine between us the past couple of days. I don't want to ruin it by bringing up Eudora's fate with me. It's bad enough that she's my daughter…"_

"_Why would you say that?" I gasped._

"_You know what I mean. Christ! The Phantom's offspring….the flesh and blood of a monster….I…I don't deserve you."_

"_Come on, Erik….." I said switching the subject. "Let's get inside where it's warm."_

_And so we turned and entered through the door, walking together back to our room. We weren't sure what laid ahead for us when ever we arrived in New York, but at least we would be trudging this journey together….That's where it stood for now, anyway…._

* * *

**Please review everyone…..Next chapter we shall be reunited with NUTMEG. Go Erik!**


	42. Chapter 42

"_I hated broken promises_

_And dishonored pledges: I hate going back on my word._

_Disappointment is such an exhausting emotion…_

_All that energy dissipated first in painful hoping and then_

_In futile, hopeless resentment."_- Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_That whore! That wench! How dare she even have the audacity to open my opera house and turn it into some flap dancing whore house while I'm gone! The thought of this taking place haunted my mind over and over again as I spent the next several days vomiting from my sea sickness and arguing with Christine. It was all too much for my weak heart to handle. What would the papers say? What would I be known as after having my family friendly reputation ruined because of Meg! My park was the only park in Coney Island that didn't have some kind of after hours gentlemen's club…..That had changed now…My park, my wonderful, brilliant park had been raped by Meg! This had made me so sick, that I didn't even want to imagine what would happen once we docked in Coney Island. _

_For days, I tried to keep to myself, and stash away my horrible thoughts about killing Meg. The press was always all over me on a daily basis, but now that Meg had turned my world into a whore house, who knew what was going to happen. My chest burned with agony, at the thought of her showing off her body, discarding her clothes all over the polished stage I had designed with my own two hands…. Christ! Just to be able to sleep, I shot myself up with small doses of morphine to calm my nerves. Christine tried to numb the pain I was feeling, but even the smallest touch set me off yelling at her. I didn't want to be bothered…Not until that….that whore was taken care of! _

_For years she's been bothering me about showing off her skin to paying costumers, but I reminded her about my family friendly policy. Why did families bring their children to my park and not any other one on Coney Island? Because my park was one hundred percent smut free….._

_Our ship docked on one of the coldest nights I had ever felt on Coney Island. The snow was heavily falling, and the wind cut right though me like a knife. The streets were dead and dark, but from a distance, I could already see the lights my opera house was giving off. My fists curled and tightened just thinking about all of this. I would have marched straight over there, but I wanted to be sure Christine got home ok. I stood there at the bottom of the steps that led to Christine's flat. Mr. Squelch had been kind enough to shovel the snow from them a few days earlier…. He was about the only worker I could trust….He and a few of the other freaks had been keeping the path ways of Phantasma shoveled and clear of any snow. _

"_Would you like to come in for a while to get warm, Erik?" Christine asked me, dusting some of the newly fallen snow off my shoulders. _

_She had already sent Eudora into the flat, but I could see her peeking out through the window. _

"_No, I should be going. I've held off stopping Meg's nonsense long enough."_

_Before I could say another word, a violent cough erupted from my lugs. I covered my mouth with my gloved hands, only to look down and see droplets of blood….Before Christine could even see this, I lowered my hand and wiped away the droplets on my pants…._

"_Erik…" Christine gasped my name, rubbing my cold, wet back sympathetically. "You should go home immediately."_

"_I will… As soon as I throw out the trash in my opera house."_

"_Promise me."_

"_I do….Now go inside before you get yourself ill."_

_I waited until Christine was inside, before waving goodbye to my daughter who was still looking out through the window. I trudged along until I was just feet away from the opera house. I could hear music and the sound of rowdy men coming from inside. As soon as I walked through the doors, my heart ceased within my chest. My once beautiful statues that lined the hallways were covered in streamers and discarded clothes….the floors were plastered in colorful confetti, and my beautiful chandelier had trousers hanging from them…..If there was a time I wanted to pass out on the floor and die…it was now. But no, I wasn't finished….The music was louder now, and I didn't hesitate a single moment on walking down the hall to get to my auditorium. _

_This sight was even worse than I imagined throughout my trip home. The once beautiful auditorium was shoulder to shoulder with men, clapping and dancing along as women danced completely naked on stage. The men were reaching out to touch them, throwing money on stage, and acting like animals. Not only that, but the atmosphere was a cloud of cigarette smoke! No one! No one smokes in my opera house! Ruined! Everything was ruined! It would take me all winter and even into spring to clean up this mess. On the other side of the room, there was a man serving alcohol! That was the last straw!_

_I pushed past men, who mind you, were ten times the size of me, muscular and extremely drunk! They pushed me aside like the piece of straw that I was. _

"_Get out! Everyone get out of here now!" I shouted. But my voice was nothing more than a buried muffle because of how loud the music was. I had to get to the front of the stage. If I got on stage, I'd be able to stop the music and get everyone to leave. I pushed my way through the men, pushing them as hard as I could, but they pushed back, and I landed on the floor, hitting my already injured head on the pavement. _

"_Christ!" I was furious now. I scrambled to my feet, but the rowdy guys didn't seem to care that I was on the floor and stepped over me as if I were part of the floor…like a rug or something. I had promised Christine not to hurt anyone, but I was the one being hurt. I needed to defend myself, and fast before something else happened. When I finally got to my feet again, I took my walking stick and began whacking it against the men who wouldn't move. I had thought this to be a good idea, and it was working, until I hit a guy I shouldn't have hit. He was three sheets to the wind, and when my walking stick made contact with his back, his fist made contact with my chest. _

_That blow was like a thousand bullets to my rib cage, one that knocked me to the ground, and wouldn't allow me to get back up. I started coughing again, more droplets of blood coming up through my windpipe. _

"_You better stay down on the floor!" the man shouted. "Hit me again and see what happens."_

_As I lay there catching my breath, I saw an opening. I was so close to the stage, and I knew I could make it if I put my mind to it. I slipped through the opening, and used my walking stick to gather to my feet. I was at the stage now, and Meg was discarding her clothes to the audience as the other naked girls, who I recognized as my Phantasma back up dancers danced in the background. _

"_Who wants to see my blouse go flying!" Meg sang, as the animalistic men shouted and whistled. _

_No! I couldn't let this happen! I gathered all my strength, and jumped up on stage. _

"_You will do no such thing!" I shouted. _

_Meg might not have heard me, but she saw me….And when she did, her face turned to horror. She tried to run to the other end of the stage, but when I tried to chase her, I was grabbed by two large men._

"_This one's trying to hurt our star!"_

_I was pulled off stage, and thrown across the bar, glass shattering against my cloaked back. _

"_Stop!" I heard Meg's voice shouting this out, but the beating didn't. _

"_No one comes into this club and hurts our dancers!"_

"_This is my opera house!"_

_I wasn't going to give up! How dare they!_

"_Unleash me before I call the authorities!" I shouted. _

_I waved my fists, and kicked my braced legs. _

_I was thrown down off the bar, an empty wine bottle shattering over my lower back. I felt the glass pierce through my skin, causing me to roll over in hopes of relieving the pain. When I thought the abuse was ending, it only worsened. The men started kicking me with their shoes and boots. I pleaded them to stop, but they could hear me because of how loud the music was. _

"_You don't come in here and disturb the peace you drunkard!"_

"_Stop!"_

_I heard Meg's voice again, and could see her tearing away at the men who were kicking me. But before she could get to me, I was grabbed again, and thrown across the piano….When this happened, the music instantly stopped, with just the occasional shriek from the naked dancers on stage. I was laying there on stage, my body bloodied and slowly dying. The room had fallen silent…why? Why wasn't anyone grabbing me again? I lifted my head the best I could to look at my body, only to see that I had the broken leg of a chair sticking out of my right side…It was covered in my blood, and I was sure….this would be the end of me…My head plopped down against the stage, and the lights were dimming fast…..When I closed my eyes, I slipped away…_

_I was wandering around a gypsy camp….everything was so familiar to me, the colorful tents, the dancing gypsies, the smell of campfire smoke…Everything came rushing back to me. I knew this place, I grew up in this place. But why was I free? Why was I not in my cage? Then I saw her…..it was Christine…she was a child, no older than me. She was dressed in a red gypsy gown that came down to her ankles. She was standing in bare feet, tapping them to the music being made by men playing their tambourines and small fiddles. When her eyes met with my own, she starting circling the fire….I knew this tradition….this wonderful sexual tradition, one that I myself never participated in. For years I would watch young gypsy girls dance around the fire as virgin boys would join them, and pick a mate. They were matched by music, dance and fire. But now I was being lured by her…..She danced around the fire, her eyes never leaving my own. How badly I wanted to approach the fire, but I knew if I did, I would be thrown back into my cage. _

_Round and round she danced, her dress flaring around her like a ring of red fire. Her eyes filled with want….want for me. I looked beside me to make sure she wasn't staring at anyone else, and she wasn't…it was just me. Soon, every other gypsy besides her faded away, leaving only her and the ring of fire. I could still hear the music, and stepped closer and closer to her. When I was feet from her, she started to slowly move around the fire once more…This was the start of the tradition….I knew what to do, and I paused, afraid this was all just a dream. But Christine wouldn't back down. She circled past me, her eyes trying to hypnotize me to do the same. Were we really meant to be together? Gypsies were matched by their dance, and if a couple moved in sync with one another, they would move in sync together for the remainder of their lives. It was time to see if we really were a match. I slowly moved with her around the fire as our eyes never left contact with the others. Her hips shook, and so did my own. How badly I wanted to grind my hips up against her own, but that was still pending. Round and round we circled the fire, our dance turning hotter and hotter as the moments passed. Round one was over, for she was now close to my body. We had passed the first stage, and on to round two. Her hands lifted themselves into the air, and I did the same, our hands dancing with each other's. I took her small hand with my own, and lead her around the fire as the music continued. _

_We were now onto the final round. Her hips pushed against my own, as our hands roamed around one another's bodies. I had never been touched by sweeter hands….We were still dancing, and now her hands were on my mask…..This was the final part…..She tore away my mask, and I had expected her to scream, but she didn't, she smiled seductively, and kissed my lips with her own. We were matched…._

_The music slowly faded away, with the image of only Christine pulling me into her tent. I was wearing nothing but a dirty pair of trousers, and her hands instantly went for them. This is what happened after gypsies were matched. They would lead each other into their tents and make love for the first time. I always dreamed about doing such a thing, and now….for some strange and unknown reason, this was happening to me. Christine was on top of me now…unbuttoning her dress…..But it was fading…everything was fading away…._

_There were bright lights…I could see them getting brighter as the moments passed. All I could see were bright lights, but heard the sound of people shushing around me, speaking terms I had never heard before. When I opened my eyes, there was nothing but white….I saw white drapes all around me…..and five people dressed in white….four women and a man….There were needles in my arms, and the people touching every part of my body, disrobing me of my bloody clothes…. I had been dreaming, but the wonderful vision of what my dream had been about continued to plague my mind like a disease…As I lay there in pain, I thought about Christine….her body on my own, her hands running up and down my body as I groaned. I wanted her, I wanted her so badly that my mind wouldn't allow me to think of anything but her. If I survived through this, I would have her again…._

"_Ch…Christine….." that was the only word I could get out. My weak eyes searched desperately for her, but I couldn't spot any sight of my angel. When I felt cold hands touching my bare flesh, I jolted up from what ever I was laying on._

_Ch..Christine…" I was louder this time, and seconds later the man was hovering over me._

"_Mister E, you have to keep still…"_

_I knew this man….he was my doctor. Then everything came rushing back to me, the opera house, Meg, the naked dancers, and….I lifted my eyes to see of this were still real- and it was, the chair leg was still sticking out of me. _

_I plopped my head back against the table, and tried to stay calm. Where was Christine? Where was my daughter….And where was that whore Meg! _

"_Mister E, breathe…." the doctor instructed. _

"_Ch…" I couldn't even say her name any longer. I was fading fast once more…_

"_Stay with me….someone has contacted your friend."_

_I felt a terrible cough erupting in the throat, and this time, the droplets of blood landed on the corner of my mouth. I felt the doctor place his stethoscope over my rib cage, listening to the illness within my lungs._

"_Mister E, your lungs are filled with mucus…."_

_I wasn't listening to him….I couldn't listen to anything other than the slow beating of my heart. _

"_Ch…Christine…" that's all I wanted. I would have fought the doctors but I didn't have the strength to lift my hand from my side. _

"_Erik!" _

_I knew that sound….that voice…it was Christine's….she was calling out my name._

"_Ch…Ch…."_

_I tried to call her name too, but the fluid in my windpipe only made me choke. _

_Suddenly, the drapes were pulled back, and Christine came rushing to me. Her cold hands caressed my face, as the tears in her eyes soaked her cheeks._

"_Erik….stay with me, please….." she cried. "Don't leave me…."_

_My eyes left her, and lowered themselves to the horror that was below my chest. When Christine saw this, her cries only came faster. _

"_N…No….." she couldn't believe what was happening to me. _

"_Miss Christine…" the doctor was trying to pull her away from me. I didn't want her to leave my side….If I was going to die, I wanted to have her be the last thing I ever see._

"_Miss Christine, we have to operate on Mister E….."_

"_Let me stay…" she pleaded. "Let me stay with him."_

"_We can't let you….go now…"_

_She broke away from the doctor, and caressed my face once more._

"_Listen to me, Erik….fight…I know you can do this, fight for me…."_

_And with that, she pressed her lips feverishly to my own, and left my side. I could feel her tears stained on my lips, and taste their saltiness. It was then that I felt another prick in my forearm, and hot liquid instantly warm my body….I slipped away, dreaming that I would wake in a better place. _

_That better place being a world where Christine and I could walk among men without me fearing the world, for my face would be flawless and handsome. The warm sunlight warming my skin as we walked anywhere our heart desired. _

_But my horrors were just beginning. I thought when I would wake, my body would feel ten times better, when in reality, it felt ten times worse. I was having a harder time breathing than I was when I passed out after Christine left. It was as if there was an elephant sitting on my chest, pressing my lugs so tightly together that I couldn't squeeze an ounce of fresh air into them. I was fighting just to keep breathing, and all I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears. My heart beat didn't sound normal either…it was slow beating as if I had ran a million miles. So fast that it would stop at any given moment….But this wasn't all…no, there was a searing pain taking over every part of my waist. When I looked down, the chair leg was no longer there, and was replaced with a large gauze wrapped bandage. _

_My angel was also here…she was sitting in a chair next to my bedside. She was crying…never had I seen her crying so hard over me. _

"_Ch..Ch…" I was cut off by the most violent cough yet, making it ten times harder to breathe. I couldn't catch my breath….I coughed again, only causing my chest to tighten even more. _

_When Christine heard my struggle, she lifted her tear soaked face from her hands, and lifted my head up to help me breathe easier. _

"_Fight Erik…." she told me. "Please…."_

_I was so weak, but I wasn't about to give up on life. I pushed and pushed until I got the air I needed in my body. What was wrong with me? When Christine placed my head gently back down on my pillow, she adjusted the blankets over my bruised body. I had never seen my body so black and blue….Perhaps I was going to die. _

"_Erik, can you hear me?"_

_I opened my mouth, but Christine stopped me from talking._

"_Don't talk, Erik. You need to save your strength." she cried. "The…the doctor says you're not out of the woods….not at all."_

_I looked around at all the needles and things hooked to me. _

"_Y…You need another operation." my angel sobbed. "Y..You're bleeding from…the inside." she couldn't even finish her sentence she was so upset._

"_An…and the doctor said you have a serious case of pneumonia. He…he says you're…you're going to die…."_

_My angel broke down, sobbing over my bed. I refused to die…I wouldn't do it….Only if Christine wanted me to die would I ever do such a thing. _

_I gathered all the strength within me to lift my hand, and place it over her cheek. Her teary eyes looked into my own, and in my eyes I was showing her that I was not going to give up. But I could only hold my hand on her cheek for a few seconds…I was weak, and my hand began slipping down her neck. She grabbed it, and placed it back over her cheek, holding it there for me. _

"_I…I won't give up on you, Erik."_

_I knew she wouldn't. _

_When I began to cough again, Christine was there to wipe my mouth, and keep me calm. I was so tired, so tired, but I couldn't breathe. I soon passed out, and found myself dreaming again…dreaming about Christine and our life together. I only hoped that life would one day be able to be lived….For if I died I knew I'd be leaving Christine with more responsibility than just raising our daughter…_

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! I work extra hard on these chapter…..Please send in your thoughts…Love you all! **


	43. Chapter 43

"_Perfection…always perfection. _

_Nothing less would ever do in anything at which Erik set his mind to._

_He had currently set his mind to healing in the most perfect way he could…_

_And even now as he sleeps in his deathbed, I can see that he is doing just that…._

_Heal perfectly or not at all…that is Erik's way."-_Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_My Erik, my poor, poor Erik! I never expected all of this to happen. I was just putting Eudora to bed when I heard a knock at the door. It was someone from the infirmary, informing me that Erik had been gravely hurt. I told my daughter to stay put, and rushed to Erik's side. When I saw the damage that had been done to him, I could do nothing more than cry. I was told there was a chance he would die, but I wouldn't give up on him. After his operation, I stayed by his side as he slept. I knew there was nothing more I could do to help him, he was in God's hands now. But something was boiling through my blood. The thought of Meg and what she had caused my Erik angered me beyond anyone's imagination. That bitch who was supposed to be my friend stood there and let all of this happen to her boss, and my lover! No, this wouldn't stay as it was! _

_When Erik was taken away for his second surgery, I left the infirmary to find Meg. My blood was boiling hot as I trudged through the freezing cold to get to the opera house. That's where Erik had been hurt, and that's where I was going! When I barged through the doors, discarded clothing and confetti covered floors greeted me. Erik surely had a heart attack after seeing everything like it was. I tried to clean up as I walked along, picking up the discarded clothing, and folding it in my arms. Perhaps Meg wasn't here after all. But when I arrived in the auditorium, it was a completely different story. There was Meg, kneeling on the stage, scrubbing out what seemed to be blood stains….blood that most likely came from my angel. I didn't say a single word as I marched right up on stage and slapped the traitor straight in the face. _

_This had caught her by surprise. She felt her cheek, and looked up at me, nearly falling over the bucket of water she was cleaning with. _

"_After all he's done for you!" I scowled. "After all the kindness Erik has shown, and this is how you repay him? Take advantage of his park while he's out of the country trying to patch things up with me!"_

_Meg was speechless. I guess she figured everything would change if she scrubbed away the bloodstains that were all over the stage. _

"_Ch…Christine I never thought…I never knew things would go the way they did. I tried to stop them! I swear this to you."_

_I could hear the emotion within Meg's voice, but I wasn't forgiving her. How could I?_

"_You bitch! How could you take advantage of Erik's park like that! Do you know what the papers are going to say? Or what his good name will be turned into!"_

"_I…I knew you weren't coming home until the end of December, Christine. I…I was going to have the opera house cleaned up by then, I swear."_

_Once more, I slapped Meg across the face. _

"_You think that changes things! You think that changes the fact that Erik, my love, and the father of my daughter is laying in a hospital bed." _

_I was in tears now._

"_Two surgeries, Meg…..Two major surgeries he's had to go through just to take out the chair leg that your customers put into him…..Did you ever think that maybe one of Erik's loyal employees were going to rat you out? We came home because of all this….."_

"_I'm sorry, Christine…."_

"_And what is this?"_

_I motioned to the bucket of soapy water._

"_Did you actually think that Erik would forgive you by cleaning this up? For god sakes, Meg, you've ruined his fucking name! What are people going to think about his park now that they know what went on here for a few weeks. Erik is a good man, and you've not only caused him weeks of recovery, but also his name…"_

"_Christine, please…..I wouldn't have done it if I knew things would be this way, honest."_

_I turned my back, trying to refrain myself from hitting her again. _

"_Christine, please, you must believe me…..We're friends."_

"_Friends!" I turned to her, my fist inches away from her face again. "Friends, Meg! Friends don't do things like this! Friends don't hurt each other! We…..are no longer friends. Stay away from my family!"_

_It was then, that I kicked the bucket of soapy water over, causing it to spill everywhere._

"_And get the hell out of this opera house. I'll see to it that you never sing in Phantasma ever again."_

_I had expected Meg to try everything to win me back as her friend, but she left me alone. For the first few weeks, I expected her to show up at anytime, but she didn't. Which, I was glad about because I had Erik to care for. He spent two weeks in the infirmary, most nights on death's door. My daughter wondered constantly about him, but I didn't let her near him. He was sick enough without having Eudora crawling all over him. With the help of heavy sedation, his pneumonia had passed, leaving him with nothing more than the common cold. He didn't speak much, but when the doctor told him he was aloud to go home, I had offered to let him stay with me. Of course, Erik being the stubborn man that he was, refused. But he needed someone to clean out his wounds, and keep an eye on his illness. Under doctor's orders, he wasn't aloud to leave his flat until his cold completely went away. Though, I was glad that his bruises and wounds kept him in bed most of the time. I made it my ritual to check on him twice a day, and most of the times, I entered his flat to find him in bed asleep. _

_It had been nearly a month since his accident, and almost Christmas. I had kept Eudora occupied most days with either ice skating on the Phantasma pond, decorating our flat, or Christmas shopping with her. All day long I had been wanting to check on Erik, but wanted to make sure Eudora was entertained. After taking her into town for some lunch, I let her play on the Phantasma playground so I could check on Erik. _

"_Love, you stay here and play on the slide for a while." I told her. "I'm going to check on Erik."_

"_But mother, can't I come?"_

"_He's still sick, and I don't want you catching what ever it is he has. I'll be down in a little bit, Eudora."_

_My daughter sighed, and continued playing._

"_Tell him I said hello."_

_I smiled, and began my walk up the stairs to Erik's flat. After unlocking the door with a key he kept under the mat for me, I picked up the morning newspaper and entered the warm flat before taking off my cloak to hang it over the fire to get warm. I peeked around the corner, expecting him to be in bed, but he wasn't there. _

"_Erik?" I kindly called out his name, waiting for his reply, but I only heard a low coughing. _

_I walked around the corner, and saw him sitting at his desk with a blanket wrapped over his shoulders. What in God's name was he doing out of bed? He was deathly pale, and had a steaming cup of tea set beside him, along with a half eaten sandwich sitting on a plate. _

"_Hey, you're up."_

_I caressed his neck gently from behind, and placed a kiss to his cheek. _

"_So I am…" he softly replied, continuing to write down what ever he was working on._

"_And eating?" I teased, fingering the plate that held his sandwich. Erik never ate….His medicine must have made him hungry. _

"_Don't sound so surprised, Christine. I do eat, you know."_

"_Barely Erik."_

"_And where is Eudora?"_

_I turned my head to look out the window to check on our daughter who was still playing on the sliding board. _

"_Playing on the Phantasma playground."_

_After watching Eudora slide down once more, I turned back to Erik, and placed the rolled up news paper down in front of him. _

"_I brought the newspaper in for you. Some reading material for when you're in bed."_

_Erik didn't even pay mind to it, and threw it into a pile with all the other discarded rolled up newspapers._

"_Erik, you can't keep avoiding the papers like this."_

"_Yes, I can and I will." he said sternly. "I can't get mad at what I don't see."_

"_But you can't change anything if you don't at least look at what they are saying."_

_I tried to reach for the paper, but Erik stopped me._

"_Touch that damn paper and it'll be the last thing you do, Christine."_

_Instead of attempting to read the paper, I wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed his malformed cheek. _

"_Erik, we'll take care of your name by the time Phantasma opens for spring."_

"_Why bother. Everyone already knows what I am…or at least they think they do. Thanks to Meg, everyone thinks I enjoy letting my dancers romp naked on stage."_

"_Erik, I know what you are."_

"_Right. But the press could care less about who I really am."_

_Erik continued writing, and I checked out the window to make sure Eudora was still playing._

"_Come on, Erik, lets clean out your wound and get you your medicine."_

_He coughed, and stood up. Our usual routine consisted of him walking to his bedroom, me cleaning out his surgery wound and giving him his cough medicine. While I went into the bathroom for his brandy and wash bowl, Erik sat on the end of his bed unbuttoning his shirt. When I came back, I sat the wash bowl down on the night table, and began unwrapping his bandage, being gentle not to hurt him. _

_When the bandage was off, I gazed down at the two long surgery scars that were placed on his right side. The stitches were still black and gross looking, but I knew they would soon turn into lumpy scars just like the ones he had all over the rest of his body. I took a wash cloth, and drenched it in the brandy before dabbing it over the two scars. The doctor told me I needed to keep Erik's wounds cleaned out to avoid infection. _

_To take away some of the discomfort on his body, I dabbed the bruises that were spread throughout his stomach and chest from being trampled on._

"_How's your body been feeling lately?" I asked._

"_Sore."_

_I reached over on the night table, and poured his cough medicine into a spoon. _

"_Here…"_

_He opened his mouth to accept the plum colored liquid, and laid back against his pillows. The doctor told me the medicine was going to make him drowsy, and ever since I've been giving it to him, he's taken a nap right after. _

"_Get some rest, Erik."_

_I covered him up, and turned to leave when his hand grabbed my own. _

"_Christine….wait…"_

_I turned, wondering what he wanted._

"_I…Um…Thank you, Christine. For taking care of me that is."_

"_Nothing you wouldn't do for me." I said, smiling at him._

"_I…I know I can't go out until my illness clears, but….would you perhaps come back for dinner tonight?"_

_It was a tempting offer, but I couldn't possibly leave Eudora._

"_I shouldn't, Erik…..Eudora…"_

"_Can come here. Wait until she falls asleep and bring her here. You can put her in the other room."_

"_Erik, are you asking me on a date?" I giggled._

"_If you're going to joke like that then forget I even offered."_

_Once more I kissed him on the cheek._

"_Erik, I'm only teasing. Laughter is the best medicine you know."_

"_Ha Ha, very funny, Christine. I feel better already…" he sarcastically replied._

"_I'll accept your offer then, and will be back tonight."_

_After locking his flat, I rejoined Eudora who was still playing. _

"_Ready to go?" I asked._

"_Where?" she questioned, falling into the snow._

"_Well, tomorrow is Christmas eve, don't you think we should go home and wrap uncle Erik's gifts?"_

_Eudora immediately got up off the ground, and pulled me towards our flat._

"_Yes, yes, mother, we should. Can I do it?"_

"_You can help me, love…"_

_Once home, I hung Eudora's wet clothing over the fire to dry as she played with Skimbleshanks. On our Christmas shopping outing, I had visited the music shop with Eudora to pick out something for Erik. Before we left for Paris, I had noticed that Erik's violin needed new strings. The instrument was extremely old and worn, and when I insisted on buying him a new one, he became very angry._

"_You wouldn't throw a person out in the trash when they get old!" he angrily exclaimed._

_So if Erik didn't want to part with the worn piece of junk, the least I could do was buy him some new parts to repair it with. Eudora picked out the gold colored parts, and I paid for them. This would be a gift from me, but I also wanted to get another gift…..one that could be from Eudora. But when I brought this up to our daughter, she insisted on making Erik something. _

_Eudora sat in front of me as I wrapped the box filled with Erik's violin parts. She folded the colorful paper with her small fingers as I taped the ends. _

"_Uncle is really going to love this!" our daughter exclaimed._

"_Yes, I believe he will."_

"_Will we be spending Christmas with him?"_

_My daughter turned to me, a look of sadness displayed on her face._

"_If your uncle is up to it."_

"_That means no…." _

"_Eudora, don't think like that. Your uncle is very sick, love."_

_After sealing the final end of the gift, I set it aside and took out another piece of wrapping paper._

"_Now where is your gift that you made uncle Erik?"_

"_It's a surprise…you can't see it, or else the surprise will be ruined."_

_My daughter took the piece of wrapping paper, and ran to her side of the room._

"_I wants to wrap it myself, mother."_

_I didn't argue with Eudora, and let her do what she wanted. While she was occupied with Erik's present, I decided to make something for dinner to bring over to Erik's. Deciding on bread and broth, I heated up everything, and poured it into a container. It was such a cute thing to see my daughter passed out all over her spare wrapping shreds. But laying beside her hand was the small rectangular shaped gift. I knew Erik would love what ever she made him…After wrapping her cloak around her small body, I lifted her sleeping form into my arms and carried her all the way to Erik's flat with our dinner being carried by my other arm. _

_Once inside, I laid Eudora down in what has become her "visiting bedroom." Some nights I had to work late hours, and Erik would take her for the night. When she had begun spending frequent nights in his flat, he built her a bedroom and painted the walls pink and purple. He called it "Eudora's princess palace." When Eudora stepped into that very room, she was so excited. There were dolls and a cradle to put them in…..anything her little heart could ever desire. And every time she is told she must spend the night with Erik, she doesn't mind at all….Eudora loved her room._

_I covered her up, and closed the door to begin my search for Erik. _

"_Erik?" I placed our dinner down on the kitchen counter, and began looking around. _

"_Erik, I'm here…."_

"_I'll be out in a few minutes." was the reply I got. _

_I poked my head into his bedroom to see that the bathroom light was on._

"_Are you ok?" I called._

"_Yes, just getting a bath."_

"_Ok, I'll be out in the family room waiting for you. If you need me just yell."_

_I was going to sit in his armchair, but I couldn't help but notice how filthy his flat was becoming. It had been a little cluttered before, but that was Erik's usual habit. But now that Erik was sick, his kitchen and work area had began looking like a living hell. His desk was covered in so much paper that I couldn't even see the desk. The shelves above it were also covered in dust. Quickly, I took out his feather duster, and began moving it across his desk and over the shelves that had picture frames sitting on them. After piling up some of the paper on his desk, I took the folded up newspapers and brought them to the lit fireplace. I threw every one into the fire…all of them, except the one I had tried giving him this morning. _

_I checked the hallway one last time to make sure he wasn't coming before unfolding the paper and looking at what the morning's headline said._

"_**Mysterious Mister E Locks himself in home after several week Phantasma-ran Brothel."**_

_This was absolutely appalling. How could they even think that! I should have thrown the newspaper in the fire, but instead, I continued reading._

"_**No one has seen the mysterious owner of Phantasma after the newly opened nude dancing- brothel style gentlemen's club was suddenly closed just weeks ago. It opened with Phantasma star Meg Giry stripping and singing onstage with a house full of excited men just dying to get inside. Phantasma was once known for its "clean" and "family friendly" attractions, but what everyone is wondering, is "Why?" Why would Mister E open such a place after being family oriented for fifteen years? The money? Or is it the fact that the rumor of him being too hideous to get a woman has finally come true. Not once in fifteen years has anyone walking around Phantasma seen Mister E walking hand in hand with a woman. These are the questions and rumors yet to be answered. But one thing is certainly for sure….Phantasma is no longer family friendly…"**_

_After reading such garbage, I angrily threw it into the fire, and watched the flames eat away the horrible writing. How could they say such mean things about Erik like that? My poor Erik had worked so hard to be like everyone else, and instead, his good name is destroyed all because of something that wasn't his fault. _

_I took my anger to the kitchen, and began cleaning the stack of dirty dishes he had piled up beside the sink. _

"_I asked you to join me for dinner, Christine." came Erik's voice from the doorway. "Not become my maid."_

_I turned my head to see him standing there in the doorway dressed in his finest suit, mask and wig placed on him ever so neatly. He looked so handsome that it was hard to tell that there was anything wrong with him at all._

"_I'm sorry, the kitchen was a mess." _

_I wiped my hands on a spare towel._

"_I'll get around to it eventually."_

_I approached him, and smelled the musty cologne that was fermenting around him._

"_You smell absolutely wonderful, Erik."_

_I seductively ran my hands up the lining of his silk jacket, causing his breathing to intensify._

"_Could….we perhaps sit down?" he asked. "I feel weak."_

"_Yes…" I quickly pulled out a chair from the table, and he sat down. I took the container of broth, and fetched two bowls from the cabinet._

"_Christine, please, that's not necessary at the moment." he told me. "It's as if you're becoming my maid again instead of my dinner date."_

_I poured him a glass of water, and then one for myself._

"_Nonsense, Erik."_

_When I seated myself, I began eating, only to feel Erik's hand reach over for my own._

"_Christine, please…..please don't rush this."_

_I placed my spoon into my bowl, and looked up to see Erik's eyes filled with sorrow._

"_What am I rushing?" I softly asked._

"_This….." he motioned to our dinner. "I don't want it to go so fast. I've been waiting to get well enough to share this moment with you for nearly a month. I…I don't want it to go by so quickly."_

"_I'm sorry, Erik, I should have thought about that."_

"_It's perfectly fine….really…."_

_Erik picked up his spoon, and began to slowly eat his meal. _

"_You look extremely handsome tonight, Erik."_

_His eyes looked up from his broth._

"_And you look beautiful as always."_

_I couldn't help but blush….I always blushed when ever Erik said such kind things to me. _

"_Christmas eve is tomorrow, Erik." I began. "It be nice to spend it together as a family."_

"_You know…you know I can't leave the flat, Christine."_

"_I didn't mean over my house, Erik. Eudora and I would love to spend Christmas here."_

_Erik looked around his dark and undecorated home before turning back to face me._

"_It's not Christmassy enough, Christine. Why should we even let our child wake here on Christmas morning to no decorations and no tree?"_

_I lifted his chin, not taking no for an answer._

"_Erik, Christmas isn't about decorations. It's about being together as a family. If you were well, we'd have Christmas at our place, but since you're not, we'll settle with having it here. As long as you're with us, that's all that matters."_

"_If that is what you wish, Christine."_

"_Erik, when can I move back in here with you?"_

"_It's….it's an extremely hard thing to tell you, Christine. I…I don't think you'll ever be able to move back in."_

"_But why? Why, Erik?"_

"_Because of the rumors and horrible things that will be said about it. In order for you to be left alone and live here peacefully, we would have to be married…."_

"_Then let's do it…" I cried. "Let us be together as we should!"_

"_And what? Be known as the wife of a monster? Be known as a whore?"_

"_You know that I'm not!"_

"_But the words will hurt me, Christine. I will not be the lover you want if I go around hearing such horrible words. I will be miserable all the time, and it will only lead us to more problems in our relationship than we already have."_

_I stood up to clear our dishes, and when I turned back around, Erik was standing behind me. We didn't say two words to one another as we stood there looking into one another's eyes. But I could tell what we both wanted without saying it…. Erik backed me up against the counter, and feverishly kissed me. This was like the kiss we had once shared on the night we made love years ago. I groaned into his mouth, as he did the same…..His tongue dancing with my own, his lips pressing harder and harder to mine. I didn't care, I wanted him….I wanted to have him so badly that my fingers began unbuttoning his jacket. _

_When he felt this sensation, his hands placed themselves at my side, and hoisted me up onto the counter top. His crotch was aligned with my own, as I wrapped my legs around his waist to bring him even closer to me. His lips were now running across my chest, as my hands dug underneath his wig to feel the gray hairs on top of his head. _

"_I…I love you, Erik…."_

"_Oh, Christine, Mon Ange, say it again." he groaned._

"_I love you, Erik…."_

"_Christine, I believe I won't be able to control myself if we don't stop." he warned, kissing my neck._

"_Then let's not."_

_I hopped down from the counter, and pressed my lips to his own. _

"_I wish to cherish this moment, Christine…" _

"_And you will. We have all night. Just give me a few moments to get ready…"_

_I was about to say something else, but Erik's lips touched my own again._

"_Don't keep your Erik waiting too long…."_

_With that, he slipped into the hall, and I dashed into the bathroom, anticipating the sensation I have been dying to feel again for years….._

* * *

**Ok I hope this chapter makes up for the last one. Fluff to come people! Please review!**


	44. Chapter 44

"_Whether to keep the secret_

_Or Whether to reveal_

_This situation is purely like the sun_

_A never ending wheel…."- _Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_I walked down the hallway after I left Christine. We kissed! It had been nearly a month since we've kissed like that, and now, we would finally make love again. My body was hot with feverish thoughts about what to do to Christine. Never had my hormones ever been this wild before…..They weren't even like this while I was still a virgin. I walked down the dark hallway, my fingers tugging anxiously at the buttons on my shirt. My heart was racing, as the wakened sparks within my body began rushing to my trousers._

_"Uncle?"_

_That soft childish voice pulled me from my thoughts. It was Eudora. Her bedroom door was slightly ajar, and I knew she most likely had a nightmare. I took a few breaths to calm down my lust filled attitude before stepping into her room. She was laying in her bed, with one of her dolls pulled tightly to her chest….yes, indeed she definitely had a nightmare._

_"What is it, little one?"_

_"C…Could I possibly have a hug?"_

_This brought back memories of when I asked my mother for a kiss. She of course had yelled at me and told me to go to my room, but a hug…..Why did my daughter even have to ask me for anything? I didn't hesitate a single moment, and bent down to take her within my arms. Her small hands wrapped themselves tightly around my back, as her little strength pulled me closer to her. But…..she was crying. Why? What was my little angel crying over?_

_"Eudora?"_

_I slightly pulled away to have a look at her tear soaked eyes. I took my hand and brushed away a tiny lock of her ebony hair away from her beautiful face._

_"I…I thought I would never see you again, uncle." she sobbed. "You were so sick."_

_"Eudora, I'm perfectly fine now. I swear you will never lose me."_

_"I was so lonely when you were sick. I missed you so much, uncle Erik."_

_I pressed her to me once more, and rocked her small body in my arms._

_"Little one, you know I love you more than anything in the world."_

_"Are mother and I spending Christmas here?"_

_She looked up at me, and I smiled down at her._

_"Yes, little one, your mother and you are spending Christmas here with me."_

_I sat her up on my knee, and brushed another strand of hair out of her eyes._

_"Now tell me what you would like for Christmas."_

_She put her head down, as if she were too afraid to tell me._

_"Are you not sure? I'm certain you would love some more accessories for your dolls."_

_She shrugged her shoulders, and kept her head down. This saddened me greatly, causing me to slowly lift her chin to face my eyes._

_"Eudora, tell me. You know you could tell me anything."_

_"Why bother saying what I want for Christmas when I know it's not even going to come true."_

_"Which is what? You know your uncle can grant any wish your heart desires."_

_"Not this one."_

_"Little one, tell me what you want."_

_She looked up at me, and wiped her soaked eyes._

_"My papa…..But I know he won't be here. He's gone forever, and you can't bring him back."_

_"Eudora, you know my powers are weak against things such as that."_

_She lowered her head again._

_"Right, because you can grant only what money can buy. You're rich….that's your power."_

_"There are things money can't buy."_

_"Yes, everything impossible, uncle."_

_"Eudora, I can't bring people back from the dead. You know that…."_

_"I know, but….but it's not just that either."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Even if I told you, you still wouldn't give it to me. There is nothing in this world that doesn't come without a price, uncle….even the free things are not possible."_

_"That's not true….Prove me wrong, Eudora."_

_"Show me your face."_

_This took me by surprise. I had gone completely speechless. Why would she ask me to do such a thing? When I didn't answer her, she became impatient._

_"See, I told you…"_

_She sadly crawled beneath the covers, and turned away from me._

_"Wh…Why would you ask me to do something like that?"_

_"Because I want to see what you really look like, uncle."_

_"There is nothing to see, and once you lay eyes on this unfinished mess, you will be afraid of me for the remainder of your life."_

_"But mother is not afraid of it! She can look on you and love! Why can I not do the same?"_

_"Eudora, please…."_

_She was tugging at my coat, but I turned away from her._

_"I can look at your unfinished face and still love you, uncle."_

_"Even….even my own mother couldn't love me, Eudora. I wouldn't expect a small child to be able to look at me with a smile."_

_I stood to my feet, and headed towards the door._

_"When, uncle? When will you open yourself up to me like you do with mother?"_

_I looked down at my feet, wondering what to say to her….If I ever showed myself to her and saw the pain and fear Christine once showed me, I would fall over and instantly die… To know that my daughter feared me would kill me faster than anything in the world._

_"Never….I…I forbid it!" I growled._

_With that, I shut the door, and headed back towards my room. Damn me! I was a horrible father! I was not only lying to her about my identity, but also about my face….Christ! Why was I given so much, only to treat such wonderful gifts like dirt off the street. I didn't deserve to be a loved, or be a father. When I made it to my room, the bathroom light was on, and even though the door was closed, I could still hear Christine's voice humming a happy tune from inside. Yes, I still wanted her, but…..Oh, so many things were on my mind. I undressed as quickly as I could, folding my clothes neatly before placing them into my wash bin. Afterwards, I slipped into nothing more than a long nightshirt, and crawled into bed._

_I lay there looking up at the ceiling, wondering about my life, and why God had made me this way. But those thoughts simply faded away as the happy tune of Christine's voice filled my ears. This had been the first time in years, that I've actually heard her singing…It was sweet, and filled my heart with the love I had been missing out on…._

_When the tune ended, I looked over to see her coming out the bathroom with her robe wrapped around her body. She romped happily over to my bed, and in one extremely sexy motion crawled on top of me. My breathing caught within my throat, as the sight of her leaning on top of my body instantly turned me back on._

_"You've changed." her voice was painfully slow, and her hands seductively teased the top button of my nightshirt._

_My eyes were fixated on the silk robe she was wearing…I could see everything right through the damn piece of fabric. It was like looking at her body through a piece of glass, as if it were a science experiment or something. Her breasts, which I had not seen before my own eyes in almost five years were teasing me through that thin garment._

_"Erik, are you still with me?" she teased, getting the first button of my nightshirt undone._

_"Y..Yes…"_

_How badly Eudora was still on my mind, but I knew we could talk about this later. I couldn't put making love to Christine off any longer. But then I thought about the outcome of this making love to Christine situation. Where would we be once morning arrived? I could never be in a healthy relationship with her, knowing that Eudora would be lied to. I was her father for Christ sakes! How much longer would she have to be lied to! I was not her uncle, I was her father! But….the people….they would say such horrible things to Christine and her…._

_I could feel Christine's hands moving further and further down each button. No, this had to stop…._

_"Christine, please…..stop, get off me."_

_I gently flipped her to the empty side of the bed, and sat up, trying to button my shirt._

_"Erik, what's wrong?" she confusingly asked. "Is it me? Am I hurting you?"_

_I took a breath to calm my nerves, and shook my head._

_"No, mon ange, I…I can't do this."_

_"Do what?"_

_I motioned to my bed._

_"This…Making love to you. I can't do it."_

_"Erik, what's gotten into you? What happened in the kitchen a few moments ago? We were kissing and…."_

_"I was losing control, that's what happened."_

_I ran my hands through my wig, and sighed._

_"I just realized that making love to you would be a big mistake."_

_"Why, Erik? Why would it be a mistake?"_

_She was angry now, and I couldn't blame her. If I dolled myself up for twenty minutes only to be denied, I'd throw a worse fit than she was._

_"Where will we be in the morning, Christine?"_

_"In bed….right here."_

_"No, I mean us….Where would this night of bliss leave us in the morning? Friends who fuck one another when needed or as lovers?"_

_"Is that what I am to you, Erik? A whore?"_

_I grabbed her hands, and pressed tiny apologetic kisses to them._

_"No, mon ange, I'm so sorry. I did not mean that, and you know it. I'm just….Oh, it's Eudora, my love. She spoke to me just moments ago, and I upset her."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_Her voice was kinder now, and I felt more comfortable in explaining myself._

_"She wanted nothing more for Christmas than to come out and see her papa standing there for her. I had to lie to her, Christine, and it hurt. Then she asked me to show my face to her. Christ! It hurts so much, Christine. I don't want to lie to her anymore. I don't care what the town's people say to me, it's you and her that I'm worried about. We can't do this, Christine. We can't make love and be in love. It will only end in horror."_

_I had expected Christine to be upset, but she was smiling. Her hand came and embraced my masked cheek ever so gently._

_"Erik, I wouldn't expect you to be a full time lover to me… Not with your name already being in jeopardy at the moment. This can be our little secret."_

_"I don't want anymore secrets, Christine. Haven't we enough secrets swept beneath this rug of ours?"_

_"Erik, what I meant was this relationship doesn't need to be public. We can stay friends or what ever we are now during the day, and be lovers by night. As long as you're not out and about Coney Island holding my hand, no one will ever know."_

_"Do you promise, Christine? To keep this between you and I, that is…"_

_"Yes, Erik."_

_She pressed her lips to my own._

_"I love you, Erik, and I would never do anything to hurt you."_

_It was then that I couldn't hold myself back any longer, and kissed Christine again with more passion than I had ever known. Moments later, she hopped back onto me, and began unbuttoning the buttons I had fastened. I couldn't control my urges any longer, and ran my fingers up the side of her robe, feeling warm flesh against my fingers. When my shirt was completely off, I felt her lips nipping at my neck, as my hands continued to run up and down her body. When I couldn't take not touching her any longer, my hands cupped her breast through her robe, causing her to groan my name._

_"Yes, mon ange…." I breathlessly purred. "Say it again…"_

_Once more, my fingers cupped her breasts, arising another cry from her._

_I looked up towards the ceiling, feeling her hands running all over my body. When I gazed down to have another look at her, she was no longer laying atop of me…no, she was working her way down below my waist, not leaving an inch of my flesh untouched._

_"Just let me know if I'm hurting you." she cooed, gently kissing around my healing wounds._

_I lay there, my body burning from her touch, her hands getting closer and closer to what I've been waiting for her to touch. But when that time came, it wasn't her hands I felt around my manhood, it was her mouth…_

_"Oh, Christine….."_

_That feeling, that wonderful, familiar feeling was slowly coming back to me There was no greater feeling in the world than to feel a woman making love to one's body. I had not made love in over four years, and hadn't released myself more than a few times. I knew if she didn't stop soon, I would finish just as quickly as I did on the night I gave myself to her for the first time….perhaps even quicker._

_"Christine….oh, Christine….please…."_

_"You wish for me to stop? Am I hurting you?"_

_Her mouth was replaced with her hand, and I groaned ever so softly._

_"Yes….I mean no, mon ange….just…." I couldn't even speak the feeling was so amazing._

_"Just what?" she giggled._

_I didn't want to sound rude, and make her angry, so instead, I gently flipped her over, and kissed her neck._

_"It's your turn, my angel."_

_"Erik…" she was laughing, but it soon turned into soft moans as I continued pressing my lips to her neck._

_"Erik…yes, oh, angel, don't stop."_

_"I don't intend to."_

_Her chest crashed against my own, as I began touching her in places I knew she adored. Her hot breath heaved against my very own as I she groaned my name, and drove me out of my mind._

_"Erik…." she grabbed my shoulders, and pulled me down closer to her. "I need you…..please, let us not wait any longer."_

_This was all I needed to hear…. I got into position, and slowly joined us as one, sliding into her slowly, feeling every sensation as Christine and I came together as one. But before I was all the way in, she tore off my mask and wig with one elegant move._

_"I want to make love to you Erik…..To the Erik I know and love."_

_She placed my discarded garments on the night table, and I continued entering her…_

_When we were completely joined, I leaned down and kissed her as I began to move my hips. As I was, I felt her legs wrap themselves around my waist, pulling me deeper into her._

_"Christine…." I couldn't stop saying her name._

_I kissed her ear feverishly, as he too began moving herself with my body. It was such a beautiful duet that our bodies were making. We were singing as if we had never sang before. But was Christine satisfied with this simple duet? Of course not, she had to make our music even louder. She flipped me over on my back, and straddled me….I had never done anything like this before in all my life. In books I have read of the many ways to make love, but never expected it would be happening…..and to me._

_"Christine…" I gasped for air as she rode me like one of my Phantasma horses. Oh, and it felt riveting…My hands placed themselves at her thighs, pressing her down on me as she continued to make love to me. I moved my hips up against her, causing her head to fly back, and her long curls to engulf her chest….There was never a more beautiful sight. I wanted to draw her portrait, just like this…Oh, Christine the things you do to your poor poor Erik._

_"Christine….Oh, Christine."_

_I was close, so close, and yet…..Oh, god, I didn't want this moment to end._

_"Oh, Erik, don't stop….."_

_And I didn't….I continued making love to her right up until I finished. It wasn't long until Christine did the same, and we plopped down beside one another, breathing heavily and lowly laughing at our clumsiness._

_Christine buried her head into my chest, and continued catching her breath._

_"Not that I'm complaining Erik, but…..have you been with anyone in the past four years?"_

_"As a matter of fact, I have." I teased._

_Christine lifted her head, and gave me a look of utter disgust. My voice had been so serious, that I don't think she knew I was joking._

_"What?"_

_I then held up my hand, as to let her know it was a joke._

_"I was talking about my hand, Christine….. Come now, do you really think that would happen? Me? Another woman?"_

_Christine's cheeks went completely red, as she piled over me, laughing hysterically._

_"Erik, that's so vile."_

_"What? How else was I to get a release if I didn't do it myself."_

_"Sorry…."_

_"How about you? I suspect you haven't been with anyone."_

_"Had I any time? Erik, you know me better than that."_

_I kissed her lips, and laid down beside her._

_"Christine, you were absolutely amazing."_

_"As were you."_

_I pulled the covers over us, and settled up against her to sleep._

_"Goodnight, Christine."_

_She yawned, and settled comfortably into my chest, never moving from it even as I coughed._

_"Night, Erik…."_

_The following morning, I awoke to the sound of music being played. I rolled over, thinking I had fallen asleep on the piano, but the more and more I thought about it the more I realized where I was, and who I was with! It all came rushing back to me now! I shot up from laying beside Christine, and reached over for my pocket watch. I wasn't at my piano! I had made love to Christine, and she was laying asleep beside me. No! my piano was being played…..played by Eudora. No! I grabbed my mask and wig, placing it on ever so quickly, getting out of bed and rushing for my robe which was hanging over the wardrobe. I threw it around my shoulders, and began heading towards the main room where I kept it, praying I was wrong….But I wasn't! There was Eudora sitting at the piano, playing a song I had never heard before. No! she didn't know how….she never touched a piano before this very day….and yet, she was playing as if she had practiced for years. No! she couldn't be like me! She couldn't be playing like me! She would find out! She would know I was her father if she continued advancing everything I had advanced in. But the song was so beautiful, and she began singing, as I stood there behind her, watching her fingers glide over the keys._

_"You and me together we'll be_

_Forever you'll see_

_We two can be good company_

_You and me_

_Yes together we two_

_Together, that's you_

_Forever with me_

_We'll always be good company_

_You and me_

_Yes, together we'll be_

_You and me_

_Together we'll be_

_Forever you'll see_

_We'll always be good company_

_You and me_

_Just wait and see.."_

_"You play well…."_

_This caused Eudora to gasp, and turn to face me._

_"Uncle, sorry….I..I shouldn't have touched the piano."_

_"Right. You shouldn't have. This is not yours to touch, Eudora."_

_She stepped away from it, and I took a seat on the bench._

_"I'm sorry, uncle, it's just that…..well, I only meant to press one of the keys while passing by. Only when I did….I was drawn to it."_

_"Yes, like a moth to the flame."_

_"Right. How did you know?"_

_"Because….Because I felt the same way."_

_I patted the seat beside me, and Eudora accepted. I began playing a tune, as Eudora watched my hands glide across the keys. When I finished, she placed her hands on the exact ones I had just touched and began playing the tune just as I had played it….perhaps even better. No! she couldn't do this! She was just like me. I could mimic any song just by hearing it, and now she was doing the same._

_"Eudora, enough." I pulled her hands away from the keys._

_"What's wrong uncle? Aren't you happy that I can play the same tune?"_

_"No, you shouldn't do that…."_

_"Do what?"_

_"Mimic one's songs….it's rude."_

_"I was only interested to see if I could play the song too."_

_"And you did….it's nothing special." I growled._

_"Yes it is…."_

_She began playing a tune of her own, only to have my anger go through the roof and tear her hands away and begin playing what she had played._

_"You can do it to!" she gasped, watching my hands play her song._

_I stopped playing and turned to her._

_"Yes, see! It's not special, Eudora, anyone can do it."_

_"That's not true. Then why can't mother do it?"_

_This stopped my heart…..So she had touched a piano before….Oh no…..I had said too much. I was under the assumption that this was her first time. Damn me! Dear god! What now!_

_"What do you mean?" I questioned._

_"Sometimes mother lets me play the piano in your opera house when she's closing the wardrobe department. I've tried it, uncle…..I play a song, and ask mother to play it right after me, by memory, and she can't…I thought it was something strange, but….you can do it too…."_

_"Eudora, that's enough. It's very simple to be able to do…"_

_"No it's not! How is it that you can do it, but mother can't? How is it that I draw just as well as you can, and yet, mother can't even draw a flower as beautiful as you or I can?"_

_"Eudora! Enough! Some people are born with similar traits, and that is all."_

_"I know, but…..ours are more similar than others. Our case is different."_

_"Because I am your uncle."_

_"But not by blood…..We're not related at all. Which is why you and mother are in love."_

_My daughter sat there in tears, confused and heartbroken. Christ! She was only a child! My child and here I was trying to keep a lie going. She was so confused about why we were so alike, and it ate me inside to know I couldn't tell her the truth._

_"Eudora, does this shame you?"_

_"No, I'm happy mother is being able to love you, but…Uncle, was it like this before I was born?"_

_"I've loved your mother my whole adult life, little one. Now, enough with this, go get dressed, and we'll have breakfast."_

_When my daughter went to her room, I sat there, thinking about what to do next? My daughter was no dummy, and I knew sooner or later she would figure out the bond we both shared. Oh, why did my daughter have to be so much like me!_

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Love you all!**


	45. Chapter 45

_"I feel you in the morning_

_When I first awake_

_Your thought is with me_

_With each decision I make_

_You've been around forever_

_Since the first breath I took_

_Now I have to go on alone_

_But for love, I need not look_

_Cause by what you bestowed_

_In our wonderful time together_

_Will last within my heart_

_Forever and ever"-_ Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_Erik and I had made love. It was the most breathtaking moment of our entire relationship. I slept in his embrace, my head snuggled deep into his chest, and his heartbeat soothing me to sleep. When I awoke, his spot was empty, and cold. I rolled over, and pulled the blankets over my naked body, too exhausted to move. When I heard movement on the floor, I opened my eyes to see Erik pacing near the wardrobe closet in nothing but his trousers. He was rummaging through his closet, tearing out a silk shirt, and carrying it over to his vanity. _

"_Erik?" I stretched, and sat up, watching him throw the shirt over his shoulders._

"_Yes, Christine?"_

_He was standing there in front of his mirror, buttoning his shirt. He seemed angry, but I wasn't sure. _

"_Is something wrong, angel?"_

_He took a deep breath, and turned to face me, his fingers moving around the mask that was in his hands. _

"_Erik, you look nervous. What's wrong?"_

"_I…I can't do this anymore, Christine."_

"_Can't do what?"_

_He took a seat beside me, and looked me in the eyes._

"_Christine, how could you let Eudora play piano? I thought we made it perfectly clear that she was not to…"_

"_To what? Be happy, Erik?"_

"_She plays like me! She can play by memory….She's going to find out, Christine. She knows we're alike."_

_I embraced his malformed face to calm him down._

"_She doesn't know. Erik, she doesn't know the truth."_

"_She's smart, Christine. She's going to figure it out."_

_I kissed his lips, and brushed the dark hair of his wig. _

"_Erik, let's talk about this after the holiday. It's Christmas….let's enjoy it."_

_He nodded, and handed me my nightgown that was discarded on the floor. _

"_I'm making breakfast." he told me. "Get dressed."_

"_I love you….."_

_Erik was already halfway to the door, when he turned and smiled, placing his mask over his face._

"_Me too…"_

_This was the happiest morning of my life. I rose from the sheets, and pranced to the vanity where my morning attire was already set out for me. Erik was such a kind gentleman. I threw the red and white dress over my head, and sat down to brush my long curls. _

_When I was fully dressed, I walked out into the kitchen to see Erik cooking something that smelled wonderful. _

"_What's for breakfast?" I asked, pouring myself a glass of juice._

"_French toast."_

_Over in the corner, Eudora was sitting there stirring a bowl of white icing. Confused, I couldn't help but as what she was doing._

"_Eudora, what are you doing?"_

"_Making the icing for our Christmas morning cinnamon rolls."_

"_A little early don't you think?" I giggled._

_Erik turned to fill my plate with the French toast that was hot off the stove._

"_Never too early, Christine."_

_Being together as a family was the best gift of all. It was the best Christmas eve I ever had. We spent the day listening to Erik playing carols on the piano, playing games on the floor, and being together as we should. That evening after dinner, I had wanted to make a trip to my flat to pick up Erik's Christmas gifts. After cleaning out his wound, and giving him his cough medicine, he had grown tired. I tucked him in, and bid him good night before taking Eudora on our little outing. _

_The streets were dark except for a few shops whose windows were dimly lit. Once we made it to our flat, I opened the door and headed inside with Eudora to gather what ever was needed for Christmas morning. _

"_Eudora, go get your gift for Erik."_

_I placed my gift into a bag along with some treats I had baked a few days prior. When I was ready to go, I couldn't help but notice Eudora standing over by our tree, fingering an ornament. But not just any ornament, the chapel Erik had carved many years ago, the one with the models of him and I standing inside of it._

_I had given it to Erik as a Christmas gift years ago, but after our fall out, he had given it back to me, saying he couldn't bear to hold on to it. I had kept it hidden from Eudora, but for some odd reason must have accidentally placed it on our tree._

"_Eudora, are you ready to go?"_

"_Mother, what's this? It looks like a church."_

"_Eudora…..come now." I kindly ordered._

_But she wouldn't listen. She picked it up from the branch it was hanging on, and looked inside._

"_And…is…this? Is that uncle….and you? What are you doing in here?"_

_I quickly snatched it away from her hands, and placed it into the pocket of my cloak._

"_It's nothing, Eudora."_

"_It's very pretty, mother. Did uncle make that for you?"_

_How could I lie to her?_

"_Yes, many years ago, but I turned it into a Christmas ornament for him."_

"_Then why do you have it?"_

"_Come on, it's getting late. We must return to your uncle and you have to get to sleep."_

"_But mother, I'm not even tired."_

"_If you don't get to bed, then Santa will pass right over the flat."_

_I knew my daughter was too excited to sleep, but she had to in order for Erik to get his rest as well. When we reached Erik's flat, I was about to walk up the stairs, when I heard someone shyly speak to me from behind._

"_Merry Christmas, Christine."_

_I turned around and spotted Meg standing there with a small wrapped gift in her hands. I didn't say anything at first, and handed Eudora the key to the flat._

"_Go on upstairs, Eudora."_

"_But mother…."_

"_Now…"_

_I waited until Eudora was inside before turning to face Meg again. _

"_Meg, what do you want? It's Christmas. Shouldn't you be home with your precious lover or something?" I growled, remembering all the pain she had caused my family._

"_Christine….I…he….he left me after I came to Erik's defense that night…." she looked towards the ground, too ashamed to say another word._

"_Am I supposed to feel sorry for you, Meg? Erik is deathly ill because of something you did."_

"_H…How is the master doing?"_

"_Sick, Meg. He has a terrible cough, and is still in agony from what happened to him."_

"_It is Christmas, Christine. I was hoping to come and ask for forgiveness."_

_This made my anger turn to rage._

"_Forgiveness? You disappear and leave me alone for one month, and then you have the galls to come here on Christmas and ask for forgiveness? I have none to give, Meg! I'll never forgive you for what you did. I don't want you in my life anymore…..We are no longer friends, and I want you to leave me alone!"_

"_And what does the master have to say about this?"_

"_Since when did you start calling him master? Don't you dare come here on Christmas eve and try to be all proper with him. He's suffering, Meg, and it's all because of you."_

"_I would do anything for your forgiveness, Christine."_

_She dropped to her knees, but I only kicked the snow in her face. I ran towards the stairs, and looked at her one last time._

"_It's not my forgiveness you must gain."_

_With that, I walked up the stairs and into the flat. After locking the door, I looked around the corner to see Eudora placing her gift to Erik on top of his piano._

"_Uncle will be so surprised."_

"_Indeed he will. I think it's time to go to bed now, love."_

_After tucking my daughter in, I turned out the lights and silently walked to Erik's room. When I turned on the lights, the blankets on the bed were thrown aside and he was missing._

"_Erik?" I called out to him, only to hear a coughing coming from inside the bathroom._

"_Erik, are you alright?"_

"_Just peachy…." came a painful groan._

_I stood in front of the door, and slowly pushed it open to see Erik standing hunched over the toilet grasping his stomach. But all over the seat were scattered droplets of blood._

"_Erik…" I gasped his name, as I ran to him, only to have his hand stop me._

"_Christine….please…"_

"_No, you're vomiting blood. What's happened to you?"_

_His voice was hoarser than usual as he tried to calm me down. _

"_I…I was coughing very hard. A vessel in my throat most likely tore. Which would be the reason why my throat is suddenly sore."_

_I took a cloth from the bathroom sink, and wiped his mouth._

"_Come, Erik, let's get you back in bed."_

_After getting him back under the covers, I crawled in beside him, and laid there._

"_Erik, you would tell me if you felt extremely ill, right?" I asked, my head pressed against his chest._

"_Wh…What are you saying?"_

"_I love you, Erik, and I don't want to see you suffer."_

"_Christine, I'm getting better, you know this." he groaned._

"_I have something for you."_

_I reached over where my clothes were laying, and took out the chapel ornament. I then snuck it beneath the covers, and placed it into his hand. Erik's fingers clasped around the small object, before bringing it out to have a look at it._

"_Christine…..you…you kept this? All these years?"_

_I nodded._

"_I would never throw away such a beautiful thing, Erik. I want you to have it back, but only if you truly want it."_

_He pressed a small kiss to it, before placing the object down beside his discarded mask and wig._

"_Forgive me….I….I've made a huge mistake by giving it away in the first place. I thought getting rid of it would help me hate you, but…..Oh, Christine I missed it so much and for years have been dying to get it back. I didn't want to ask you for it in fear that you would have thrown it out. But now….Oh, Christine, thank you…"_

_He leaned over, and placed a small kiss to my lips._

"_How could I throw that away? Erik, I've never lost my love for you."_

"_And as much as I've tried to do it, I never lost my love either, only hid it."_

_I sighed, and closed my exhausted eyes._

"_Goodnight, Erik, I love you."_

"_As do I…."_

_It was snowing again, but I didn't mind at all. I curled up beside Erik's warm body, and slipped away into a deep sleep. During the night I did hear Erik coughing, but we both slept as if nothing could ever tear us apart again. _

_The next morning, I was waken by Eudora jumping up on our bed. I felt her plop into my lap, and begin shaking me full of excitement._

"_Mother! Mother! Wake up! It's Christmas morning!"_

_I opened my eyes, and sat up to greet our daughter who was bouncing there with a look of sheer excitement on her face. _

"_Merry Christmas, Eudora." I said hugging her ever so tightly. _

_Eudora was not satisfied with just a hug from me, and began shaking Erik._

"_Uncle! Uncle wake up!"_

_Erik rolled over, and pressed his face malformed face down into the pillow so Eudora couldn't spot him. _

"_Eudora….please, a little privacy." he kindly stated. "We'll be out in a few moments."_

_I knew Erik wasn't used to this. Ever since our parting, we had spent Christmases at my flat, with Erik only coming over to visit. Waking up beside me on Christmas morning was something new to him. When our daughter ran out of the room, he rolled over to face me, reaching out for his pocket watch. _

"_Christ….it's only dawn." he groaned, snapping it shut. "Can we at least wait until the sun comes up."_

_I brushed the gray strands of hair out of his eyes, and pressed a kiss to his mouth._

"_I was up earlier than this when I was a child."_

_Erik instantly sat up, and placed his head down onto his knees._

"_I'm a monster…..I'm dreadfully sorry, Christine. You must understand that I've never had a real childhood Christmas. My Christmases were filled with beatings and pain. My mother would have a party down stairs, and I was ordered to stay up in my room. I once came creeping down the steps just to have a quick peak, only to scare her guests. My mother gave me thirty lashes for it, and every Christmas after that she locked me away in the cold attic."_

"_Erik, please, it's fine, really….You didn't know."_

"_I don't deserve you, mon ange. I am a monster."_

_I kissed his tears away, and wrapped my arms around his skeletal frame._

"_You're everything to me, Erik."_

_This had instantly put a smile on his face. He pressed me down to the mattress of our bed, and placed delicate kisses to my neck._

"_Erik…our daughter is awake."_

"_So she is…" he cooed, kissing the lower part of my ear._

"_Erik, she cannot see us like this." I giggled, playfully trying to lift his chest off of my own. _

"_Close your eyes, my angel." he ordered, lifting himself off of me._

"_But why?" my cheeks were red with embarrassment as he sat there waiting for me to close my eyes._

"_Christine…..just do as I ask."_

_I plopped back against my pillow, and placed my hand over my eyes to show Erik I was doing as he had asked._

"_Now what?"_

"_Count to ten, and then open your eyes."_

_I silently counted, and when I got to ten, I opened my eyes to see Erik completely gone._

"_Erik? Where are you?"_

_I got out of bed, and looked down towards the floor to see rose petals leading into the bathroom. I giggled, and walked into it before flipping on the lights. I looked around, wondering why Erik brought me in here, only to look on the sink, and see a small jewelry box placed there. I gasped, and picked it up, opening the lid. But inside, there was nothing….Confused, I placed the box down and noticed a sealed letter also sitting on the sink. I opened it, and read Erik's scratchy handwriting._

"_Christine,_

_I know you must truly be confused, but I assure that you will understand if you search deep within your heart for the meaning of this gift. The box may look empty, but you know there is a gift waiting inside for you. Something you have lost many years ago….something I have also taken out of storage and placed back on…._

_One love one lifetime_

_Erik."_

_I thought long and hard about what this meant, and then my heart skipped a beat…..There was something inside the box, it was my ring! My invisible wedding ring! I reached inside the box, and slipped it right back in place. Erik had placed his on as well! _

"_Christine…."_

_I turned around to see Erik standing there fully dressed with a smile on his face._

"_Erik…."_

_I jumped into his arms, causing him to stumble backwards, and land on our bed. I was so happy that I leaned in to passionately kiss him. I didn't care if Eudora saw us….we were one again._

"_Christine, my angel…" he lay there gasping, and running his fingers through my curls. "It must stay this way, but I swear to you that one day when things calm down, we will have a real wedding, and….."_

_He paused, taking a beautiful silver chain out of his pocket, and hooking it around my neck. When I felt something cold hit my chest, I looked down to see a ring I hadn't seen in years dangling from it. It was the ring I gave to him the night before I left the opera house with Raoul! He kept it! Erik had kept it all these years!_

"_Erik….." I was so surprised that I didn't even know what to do._

"_Everyday, Christine, look down at this and remember my promise to you."_

_I wrapped my arms around his neck, and cried. I would someday be his wife…..his real living wife…._

"_I love you….So much, Erik."_

"_Merry Christmas, my love."_

_I wanted to continue kissing him, but he stood us up, and pushed some of the curls away from my face._

"_Come, Eudora is impatiently waiting, and I have cinnamon rolls in the oven."_

_Seeing our daughter looking at her wrapped gifts was a sight that made both our hearts instantly warm. She looked so much like Erik, facial expressions and all as she crawled around them, wondering what they were. I had bought her some outfits for her dolls, and asked Erik if he wanted to go on something else with me, but Erik insisted that he had something for her. _

"_Mother! Can I open my gifts!"_

_Erik walked over to his armchair and took a seat as I sat in his lap watching our daughter._

"_Go ahead, Eudora."_

_Our daughter tore through my gifts, loving the outfits for her dolls, and trying to dress them the instant they came out of the box. When my presents were all opened, Eudora looked up at the largest present…..this was most definitely from Erik._

_When she tore away the paper, I don't know who was more excited, me or Eudora. It was a large wooden scale model of the Phantasma opera house. Large enough for her to place her dolls inside of it. _

"_This is amazing!" she squealed._

_Eudora took one of her dolls, and placed it on the stage._

"_Lilly is going to be a star!"_

"_Did you like all of your gifts?" Erik asked her._

_She turned, a huge smile lighting her face._

"_Like them? I loved them!"_

_As Eudora played with her doll house, I turned to Erik, and placed a kiss to his neck._

"_There's presents for you too, Erik."_

"_Oh, Christine…you didn't have to buy me anything." he groaned._

_I patted him on the knee, and stood up to grab his wrapped present from the other room. I placed the heavy box into his lap, and watched him pry away the wrapping paper with his boney fingers. Once the box was opened, he took out the golden parts, smiling most likely at the comment he had made to me about his violin weeks ago. _

"_I see you've come to your senses." he chuckled._

"_If you weren't going to part with the old junk the least I could do was buy you all new parts."_

"_I picked them out, uncle!" Eudora exclaimed._

"_Yes, thank you. She'll be looking and sounding as good as new in no time."_

"_There's one more, uncle!" _

_Eudora scurried to her feet, and grabbed the gift she had placed on top of Erik's piano. _

"_Here, this is for you from me."_

"_Eudora, you didn't have to do that."_

"_I wanted to, uncle."_

_I myself had no idea what the object was, but watched as Erik tore away the paper, revealing more and more of Eudora's gift. When the wrapping paper was off, Erik's face had gone completely blank, and I knew why…. There in Erik's hands was a picture frame Eudora had decorated in silver glitter and shapes she had cut from paper….But inside the frame was a picture of her and Erik…..the only one ever taken. Erik was speechless, and Eudora pointed to the frame._

"_Remember when you and I spent the day together at Phantasma, uncle? It was so much fun. It was actually one of our best days together. When I saw that you didn't have any pictures of me, I thought this one would be great."_

_Erik only nodded, and stood to his feet with the frame still in his hand. _

"_Th…thank you…"_

_He rushed himself into the kitchen, leaving our daughter confused._

"_Mother, did he like it? He didn't even say he did."_

"_I'm sure he loved it more than anything in the world."_

_I patted my daughter on the head, and told her to play with her dolls. That frame had struck a nerve in Erik's heart, and I had to calm him down before it went any further. _

_Erik was standing at the counter with his back turned towards me, crying….I couldn't see the tears, but I could hear him heaving. _

"_Erik, it's ok."_

"_No, Christine, it's not ok….." he sobbed. "Everything is not ok…."_

"_Erik…."_

"_No!" he turned to me, his tears streaming down his mask. "Why do you think I don't have any pictures of Eudora around the flat! It's so I won't have to look at what I can never have."_

"_Erik, please…."_

"_No…" he placed the frame in my hand, and I looked down at the photo of the two of them. "Here we are in pictures acting like father and daughter, and yet, I know it can never be that way."_

"_Erik, if you don't like the frame…."_

"_I love it, Christine….it breaks my heart to see us like this, to know this is how things could truly be between us….."_

"_Erik we could tell her. Things can be like this….you can have more pictures, I can give you her baby pictures to hang up….."_

"_That would only pull me out of who I'm supposed to be, Christine. It's hard enough keeping the thought of being her uncle in my head. Do you think I like not being able to tell her the truth, to love her as I'm supposed to….I am her god damn father, Christine!"_

"_What?"_

_That small voice had caused us to both turn and see our daughter standing in the doorway. _

_She was in tears now, but what could we do? She knew…..she had heard us!_

"_Eudora, just go play with your dolls." I told her._

"_When were you…..g…going to tell me? He's my papa?"_

_She was backing up towards the family room, sobbing._

"_Eudora, listen to me…"_

"_No….You both lied to me! You're lying….he's not my papa…..he's my uncle! My uncle!"_

_Before Erik could say a single word, she opened the door and fled the flat. _

"_Eudora!" I called her name, but she wouldn't stop. _

_Erik dropped to his knees, and sobbed into his hands._

"_Eudora…Even she….doesn't want me….to be her…..God! No….No.."_

"_Erik….."_

_I was torn between two worlds. I didn't know who to help first, Erik or Eudora….. I needed to find her. I threw on my cloak, and headed out the door, hoping to find my daughter….even though it was really Erik who needed me more. _

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun! Please review! Oh, and I'm letting you decide what should happen next. Send in your thoughts! Love you all!**


	46. Chapter 46

"_Do not judge a song by its duration_

_Nor by the number of its notes_

_Judge it by the richness of its contents_

_Sometimes those unfinished are among the most poignant _

_Do not judge a song by its duration_

_Nor by the number of its notes_

_Judge it by the way it touches and lifts the soul_

_Sometimes those unfinished are among the most beautiful_

_And when something has enriched your life_

_And when its melody beats in your heart_

_Is it unfinished?_

_Or is it endless?_

_Being unfinished is the most mysterious part."- _Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_My daughter had run out of the flat! She was gone, and all because of me. She didn't want me to be her father, and I couldn't blame her. I was a hideous monster! Then before I could even have time to find comfort from Christine, she too left to chase after our daughter. I dropped to my knees, and felt my heart break into two. There was no heart left, my chest was completely empty, and my heart was floating around inside my stomach somewhere. But then the pain started, the horrible pain of being heart broken. I couldn't just sit here and let my daughter run wild through the icy streets of Phantasma. I needed to find her!_

_I wasn't supposed to go outside, but I wasn't going to sit around and wait for Christine to return. I threw on my cloak, and ran out into the cold, heaving and coughing as I hurried to find my love and daughter. The air was brisk, and my body shivered but I refused to go back inside. _

_"Eudora!" I called her name, coughing after each yell._

_I checked everywhere, not leaving a single spot unsearched. _

_My legs were aching tremendously, but I didn't stop a single second. I hurried along the boardwalk, stepping over ice and calling out Eudora's name. My lungs were aching, and I finally stopped to take a breather. I stood there up against the railing of the boardwalk, gasping for breath, and coughing uncontrollably. _

_"Eudora!"_

_I heard her name being called by Christine, only to look out onto the snow covered beach and see my worst nightmare playing out. Christine was running towards the ocean, and I didn't understand why…..That was until I saw my daughter's scarf washing on the beach. No….No this wasn't happening! I no longer cared about myself. If my own flesh and blood were to die, I would die anyway. I jumped from the boardwalk onto the beach, and began running; the braces around my legs pinching me with every step I took. The frozen sand tried to slow me down, but I fought against it. This was my daughter, and I wouldn't let her die! _

_"Eudora!" Christine was screaming for her, but I was already close by._

_I ran all the way to the water's edge, and threw off my cloak and cravat. The icy wind hit my chest like a knife, but my daughter needed me._

_"Erik!" Christine was running towards me, but I was faster and dove into the frigid water. _

_"Erik! No! Stop!"_

_There was nothing Christine could shout to make me come back. My mind was already made up, and I wasn't coming back, not without my daughter. If I died saving her then so be it…._

_My body was slowing down from the icy waves crashing against my body as I swam out to sea. I couldn't stop…I couldn't stop and let the sea take my daughter. It couldn't have her! And I wouldn't let it! The waves were extremely rough, but I swam through each one, hoping to get closer to my daughter. But my body began to freeze, and swimming became completely impossible. It wasn't long, until another wave crashed against me, dragging me all the way back to shore. _

_"Erik!" _

_I sat up, my body trembling from head to toe, and my lungs collapsing within my chest. _

_"Erik!" _

_Christine grabbed the cloak I had discarded, and wrapped it around my shoulders, bringing her body close to my own._

_"Breathe." she told me. _

_She was rubbing the cloak harder against my body, her hand making its way to my chest to rub it against the part where my heart was beating._

_"We have to get your heart warm, Erik…."_

_I could hear quiet sobs within her voice, but I was too concerned about getting warm to speak._

_"Come on…."_

_I was suddenly pulled to my feet, Christine dragging me along to find shelter before I died from hypothermia…But all I could keep my eyes on was Eudora's scarf that the waves were slowly pulling away….No! I wouldn't let this be! I pulled away from Christine, just enough to grab hold of the wet and sandy scarf. I wasn't giving up on her! She was my daughter, and I was going to find her. _

_"Erik, stop!" Christine pulled me along like a dog on a leash, pulling me all the way back to my flat, where she immediately began stripping me of my clothes, as her hand continued to rub over my heart. _

_"Stay with me, Erik." she cried, trying to keep me awake. _

_Once I was completely naked, she draped my quilt over my shoulders, and pressed her body against my own. _

_"You'll be warmer this way."_

_I was still cold, but I wasn't giving up on my daughter. She needed me now more than ever, and I would not sleep until she was found. _

_"Erik….." Christine cries finally let loose, but I wouldn't stand here and listen to them. _

_"I…I saw her scarf on the beach and ran as fast as I could." she sobbed. "Oh, Erik, our daughter…."_

_No! she wasn't dead, I wouldn't allow things to be this way. I pushed her away from me, and hurried towards my wardrobe closet to throw on a dry pair of clothes. I was coughing tremendously, but I didn't care. I would find my daughter come hell or high water! _

_"Erik? What are you doing! You're going to kill yourself!" _

_I fumbled with the buttons to a new shirt, and turned to her._

_"Then so be it, Christine!" I snapped. "Eudora is out there, and the temperature will be dropping quickly come night fall."_

_"Erik, you saw her scarf at the water's edge." Christine was on her knees sobbing, pleading me not to leave the flat again._

_"That means nothing!" I was cut off by a violent cough. "That means nothing, Christine. It could have blown from her. I will not sleep until I know she's safe."_

_I threw on my cloak, and headed towards the door, another cough erupting from my throat._

_"Erik, no! You need to rest." she grabbed the end of my cloak to try and pull me back, but I snatched it from her. _

_"You can either come with me or stay here, Christine, but I am not giving up on her."_

_I rummaged through my soaked pile of clothes, and tore out Eudora's wet scarf. When I opened the door, Christine came running to my side, and we both left together. _

_"Erik, please." Christine was now standing in front of me, trying to block my way. "Erik, please rest where it's warm. You're going to catch your death….and look at you."_

_Her fingers gently brushed through my soaked wig. _

_"You're still soaked to the bone."_

_I couldn't be gentle with her, not now. I needed to be the Phantom; the creature who wouldn't take "no" for an answer…I couldn't be her loving Erik during a time like this…No, Erik would do anything Christine asked of him, the Phantom wouldn't. _

_"I said you could come or stay. Either way, I'm going, Christine." I pushed her aside. "Now out of my way."_

_I walked down the streets of Phantasma, Eudora's soaked scarf still in my hand. Christine didn't stay, and followed beside me as my coughing continued. I needed to find help, and I knew just where to go. If I was going to find my daughter, I needed Phantasma to be surrounded and searched. And with it being just Christine and I, we couldn't possibly clear the entire perimeter by nightfall…..But did I know what I was doing? What I was about to do would not only ruin my reputation, but also ruin my name for the rest of my life….._

_When Christine realized where we were headed, she pulled at my arm, trying to stop me._

_"Erik, no! Don't do this! Please…..Don't!"_

_I pulled away with my monstrous grip, and continued walking to where I was headed; the oddity pub. The oddity pub was a place where my employees gathered all year around to relax after a hard day of work, or just to grab a bite to eat. Today was Christmas, and I knew all three hundred of my workers would be here, and with three hundred workers searching for my daughter, I knew we could find her. _

_"Erik, stop!" Christine continued pulling at my arm, begging me not to ruin my name any further, but I didn't care! As long as Eudora was found safe and sound, the world could call me anything they like. _

_"Erik, we can go to the authorities. They could help us!"_

_I turned, and crossed my arms in anger._

_"They don't help freaks, Christine!"_

_"But I'm not a freak, Erik! I could get them to help me." _

_"They know you live in Phantasma, Christine. They won't help you knowing you betrayed your own race to join us! This is the only way, and I'll be damned to let my daughter freeze to death over my name!"_

_"But what about all we've talked about! You said it yourself you wouldn't be the lover I want after hearing such horrible things being said about Eudora and I….Even about yourself."_

_I calmed down just enough to deeply sigh and look at the only woman I had ever loved._

_"Do you love me, Christine?"_

_"Yes, with all my heart."_

_"And do you trust me?"_

_"With all that I am." she quietly responded._

_I gripped her shoulders, and lifted her chin to look at me. _

_"This day was coming, mon ange. It was only a matter of time. I have tried to stall it as much as I possibly could, but Eudora is counting on us. We will have our ups and downs from this day forward, but I could never ever stop loving you no matter what anyone ever says about us. We need to do this, for the child's sake."_

_Christine looked down towards the snow, and I knew she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready for the words that were to be said about her….the cruel, vulgar words. And yet, who was I to force her? This was all my fault…wasn't it? If I had not laid with her, none of this would even be happening. I was the monster, and it was I who deserved to be punished, not her….How could I be so selfish, and want to bring this innocent angel into such harm? That's all Christine ever was….she was an angel, an angel whose wings were never to be clipped…Yet here I was trying to do just that. _

_This was my fault, and so it was I who deserved to suffer. I took a deep breath, and turned towards the pub. It was now or never….I walked right inside, with Christine standing behind me, her head still down. All of my employees were dancing and making merry, but the music and cheers instantly silenced as soon as I came through the door. Oh, how to start this?…._

_"I have come here asking each and everyone of you for a favor."_

_"But it's Christmas day!" one of my employees shouted out. _

_"Right…." I growled. "But you must remember who has protected and given each and every one of you a job for the past decade."_

_The room fell silent again. Each and everyone of my employees owed me their life for all that I have done for them, and I had never asked them for anything….up until now._

_"A child has gone missing in the park, and I need everyone of you to help me find her. She's a little girl named Eudora. Most of you all know her, or have seen her around at some point during the season."_

_Mr. Squelch, who was sitting at the bar, slammed his glass down, and turned my way._

_"Boss, it's Christmas day. A missing child case should be turned over to the authorities, you know that. We have tons of missing children cases every season, and they are all found by the authorities."_

_"Right, but you must remember, Mr. Squelch, that the authorities help the public; the humans who have not deserted their own kind to come and live in our world."_

_"But boss, why…."_

_I looked at Christine, who was waiting for the pain to come, for our life's secret to be let out….but I knew she wasn't ready, and I wouldn't allow it to happen. _

_"I did something terrible four years ago!" I shouted, my heart pounding against my chest over what I was about to say….. "I took advantage of this woman. I forced myself onto her because I had never laid with a woman before…."_

_"Erik…."_

_Christine tried to stop me, but I placed my hand over her mouth._

_"Yes, and from that un-consensual night, a child was created. I need to find this little girl because she is my own flesh and blood! Now if any of you want to still have a job come spring time, I suggest you get your ass's moving! "_

_Everyone gasped, as Christine struggled against my grip over her mouth. She didn't deserve to be taken down to hell with me, and I wouldn't allow it. The pub began emptying, and Christine and I were split up within the crowd. I knew I would come across her sooner or later, and marched down to the stables where I kept my animals. I had a few dogs I had trained to sniff out trouble in my park, and I would use them tonight to find my daughter. I pulled my horse Cesar out of his stable, and led him down the isle as my elephants screamed, and dogs barked. I opened their pen, and they crowded around my body, licking my gloved hands, and wagging their tales. _

_When they calmed down, I held Eudora's scarf down to their noses so they could pick up her scent. _

_"Find her, boys…." I ordered. _

_A few moments later, they were barking and on their way out of the stable. I jumped on Cesar's back as fast as I could, and ordered him to follow the dogs. All throughout my park, I heard my employees calling out for my daughter. It was getting colder, leaving only a short amount of time left to find her alive. The dogs sniffed the ground in front of Cesar and I, as I followed them through my entire park. I soon came across Christine who was also searching for her. _

_"Christine, come…"_

_She didn't listen to my order, and continued walking along the side of Cesar._

_"Christine, stop wasting time!"_

_She didn't answer me, and I knew she was extremely angry. _

_"We have a better chance at finding her if you're up here with me."_

_"Really, Erik? In that case, I'd rather walk."_

_"Christine!" I sneered. "This is not the time nor place for an argument. We'll argue later, let's just work together and find our daughter!"_

_"What? Me? The victim? Your victim?"_

_"Christine!"_

_"Oh, the victim and her rapist, working together to find our bastard child…."_

_"Christine!" I was losing my patients with her as she continued to act like a complete child._

_"Is that what I am to you, Erik? Your victim? Someone you fucked out of lust due to being a virgin up until your midlife crises?"_

_"Christine, enough! You know it's not what I meant."_

_"Really? Because I heard it pretty clear, Erik, I wasn't deaf!"_

_"I did it for your protection! Now stop this and get up here with me!"_

_Finally, Christine lifted up her hand, and I was able to grab it and pull her up to my level. I sat her in front of me, and wrapped my hands around her waist as we continued following the dogs. _

_I was so cold, and my body shivered up against Christine's. I tried to hide it as much as possible, but being out in the cold weather was starting to get to me. _

_"Erik, are you cold?"_

_Christine sounded kinder than she had an hour ago, but I knew once we found our daughter things were probably going to turn ugly between us. Perhaps not in our relationship, but an argument was not out of the question. _

_"A little…" was all I could muster as I violently coughed again. _

_"Maybe you should let me sit behind you." she suggested. "I could wrap my arms around you and keep your body warm."_

_I was slipping fast, making Christine's suggestion sound like the better one. I agreed, and carefully helped her move behind me. Once situated, I felt her arms wrap themselves under my arms, and slip through my cloak and under my shirt. Her hands chilled my chest at first, but soon, my body warmed with the sensation of her hands massaging my heart. But that wasn't all she did…..I felt her mouth blowing her warm breath against my neck…._

_"Erik, your skin is so cold." she suddenly gasped._

_"I'm…I'm fine."_

_"Erik, you need to get home. You don't look well at all and you know what the doctor said."_

_"Christine, we're so close. I won't give up on my daughter…."_

_"Erik, you're going to die if we stay out past sunset. Your body won't be able to take the drop in temperature."_

_"And neither will Eudora's." I snapped. _

_Suddenly, the dogs began barking, and running towards the coaster. I charged Cesar as fast as he could run. I even heard some of my employees yelling for me. _

_"Boss, we've found her!"_

_And they did. My daughter must have gotten soaked on the beach, hence the reason her scarf washed up onto shore. After that, she must have sought out shelter from the air, and came to the coaster hoping to hide up on the covered porch, only to fall through a small trap door I had kept open when closing the park for the winter. She was sitting below, in the shaft, curled up into a soaking heap, and sobbing. She was also covered in grease from head to toe…. Damn me for leaving the trap door open! The trap door was something I had built in order to make it easier to repair the coaster whenever it broke down because it lead underneath the tracks. If there was something wrong with the coaster chain, all I had to do was crawl into the trap door and walk a little to the left….the track would be completely over my head, and easier to repair….._

_Mr. Squelch reached inside the eight foot drop, and pulled my crying daughter out. My first natural instinct was to run over to Eudora and scoop her up into my arms, but I didn't….Christine did, but I couldn't find it within my heart to do the same. She hated me, and I couldn't blame her for doing so. All her life she had known me as nothing more than her uncle, and now that she knew it was all a lie, she was frightened. She didn't know me as a daughter should know their father, in fact, she knew hardly anything at all. _

_On the way back to my flat, I rode on Cesar as Christine walked beside me carrying Eudora's shivering and sleeping body in her arms. _

_When I saw that my daughter was trembling, I tore off my cloak and handed it to Christine. _

_"Keep her warm, Christine."_

_"But what about you?"_

_I was shivering, but we were almost home._

_"I'm fine."_

_Christine wrapped my cloak around Eudora's body, and her shivering seemed to stop. Before returning Cesar to his stable, I let Christine into the flat, and traveled alone. The stables were now quiet….too quiet. I backed Cesar into his gate, and brushed his dark main, thinking about what to do once I got home. _

_"Am I a monster, Cesar?" I groaned, brushing his muzzle. _

_"All I meant to do was make things right. She doesn't deserve to be treated like a monster when she's an angel."_

_Cesar stomped his front hoof down on the cobble ground, and neighed._

_"Glad some body agrees with me."_

_When I turned my back to hang up Cesar's brush, his muzzle pushed violently against my back. _

_"Or not….That's fine. I would suspect you to be on Christine's side when she sneaks you treats while I'm not looking."_

_Cesar huffed, and stomped his hoof._

_"You know exactly what I'm talking about."_

_With that, I locked up the stables, and began walking home as it began snowing again. By the time I made it to my flat I was so out of breath, that I couldn't even walk up the stairs. By the time I made it to my door I was coughing so hard that I began tasting blood. I walked through the door, and to my bedroom without even searching for my love and daughter. I quickly changed into my pajamas, and crawled into bed, still cold and coughing. _

_"Erik, you sound absolutely horrible." _

_I rolled over, and saw Christine entering the room in her robe. She went for my cough medicine, and poured some onto a spoon. Without another word, she held it up to my lips, and made sure that I drank it. _

_"How's Eudora?" I asked. _

_Christine set the bottle of medicine down on the night table, and covered me up._

_"She's asleep. She's hardly said a word. I don't blame her, she's had a traumatizing day." _

_"Right. She knows she has a monster as a father."_

_"Erik…. Please, don't even bring that part up. She doesn't know what you look like. I was talking about her fall into the trap door."_

_"I guess you're blaming that on me too."_

_"I said nothing of the sort, Erik!"_

_"But you're thinking it though, am I right?"_

_"Goodnight, Erik." _

_With that, Christine turned and began walking towards the hallway._

_"Christine." I quickly sat up wondering where she was going. "Where are you going?"_

_"To bed." she coldly stated._

_"But isn't this….."_

_I put my head down, feeling the pain of her possibly not loving me returning. _

_"Erik, don't give me that look. I just think it's better for me to sleep somewhere else tonight."_

_"Because you're mad at me for what I did today."_

_"Erik…."_

_"Christine, please don't leave me alone. We just got back together, after all these years of being separated. We can work things out…please."_

_Christine paused, and then slowly walked over to my bed before finally crawling in beside me. _

_"I'm not mad at you for what you did, Erik." she told me, brushing the gray strands of hair on my head. "I'm mad at what you did to yourself."_

_"I'm not important, Christine. I didn't want to ruin your name. It's my fault….I'm a man who acted out on his lust for you."_

_I felt her hand slap me across the face, and I lifted my own hand to sooth the pain._

_"Don't you ever say that. You make it sound like I didn't want any part of it. We loved each other, Erik, and we acted out on it and a child was made."_

_"Even so, our daughter hates me."_

_Her hand caressed my face gently as she pressed her lips to my own._

_"She's frightened, Erik, but our love will set things straight. It may take some time, but she will understand."_

_"Yes, understand, but not love."_

_She kissed me again, and pressed her body close to my own._

_"You just need to concentrate on getting better, Erik. Get some rest."_

_With that I closed my eyes, hoping my daughter would learn to love me….._

* * *

**Please review! Love you all!**


	47. Chapter 47

"_I lost my mother_

_I lost my father_

_Please do not let me lose you too_

_To lose you now_

_I don't know how_

_I would ever live on._

_We made such beauty_

_Within our love_

_You made my spirit soar_

_High above_

_Your touch which sends sweet shivers through_

_This body whose heart only beats for you."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_The following morning, I awoke to an empty bed. I had slept longer than I usually did because of how exhausting Christmas was. After changing into one of my dresses, I walked out into the kitchen to spot Erik sitting at the table reading over one of his music manuscripts with a steaming cup of tea placed beside him. He was wearing nothing but his black robe, and his mask was firmly in place incase Eudora came walking out. Though, from the quiet atmosphere, I guessed that she was still asleep. _

"_Can't sleep?" I questioned, walking to the cabinets to see what I could whip up for breakfast. _

"_I guess you could say that." _

_Erik's tone was saddened, and I knew exactly why. I knew he was probably experiencing horrible nightmares from yesterday's events, or his head was filled with too many horrible thoughts._

"_Erik, you don't look well at all."_

_I pulled a mug out of the cabinet, and ran my fingers through his damp hair._

"_You're feverish."_

"_Oh, Christine." he pressed his eyes closed, and reached his trembling hand out for his tea. When his fingers grasped around the ceramic cup, he couldn't even hold it because of how badly he was shaking. _

"_Erik, come on. Your little stunt yesterday had sickened you even worse than before. You're going to lay down this instant."_

_I pulled Erik to his feet, only to have his knees instantly weaken. He was so sick that it was a wonder how he even got out of bed. I supported most of his weight, which wasn't much at all, and escorted him back to his room._

"_I'm going to run into town to buy some groceries." I told him, throwing the blankets over his ill body. "I shall return soon. Eudora needs to get out for a while. Some fresh air would do her good."_

"_I…I'll come…with you." Erik was trying to sit up in bed again, but I pushed him down. _

"_Don't you dare move from that bed, Erik. Come with me? You're literally sitting on death's door. If you step outside you'll be sure to die before you even cross the street."_

_He began coughing, his cough being more violent than it had previously been._

"_You sound terrible."_

"_I feel fine."_

"_Don't lie to me. Now do me a favor and stay in bed. I'll be back later."_

_After tucking him in, I walked down the hall to Eudora's bedroom door. I didn't want to just enter without permission, so I softly knocked. When I did, I didn't get an answer, so I knocked again. _

"_Eudora, it's mother. Are you awake?"_

"_Just go away." came the small saddened voice. _

"_Eudora, it's just me. I was going to go out for a while and wanted to know if you were interested in joining me?"_

"_No."_

"_But it's just me, Eudora. It will just be the two of us."_

"_Promise?"_

"_Yes, I promise."_

_I couldn't leave things the way they were. I opened the door, and closed it behind me as I approached her bed and sat down beside the heap of blankets that were piled over her. _

"_Eudora, I know you're mad and that you feel upset, but your father and I….."_

"_Don't call him that." I heard her groan. "Don't call him my papa. He's not my papa, mother."_

"_Eudora, but he is. Erik and I were in love many years ago and out of that love came you."_

"_Then why did you lie to me! Why did you make me think he was my uncle?"_

_I pulled the covers off of her small body, and lifted her into my lap. _

"_Eudora, this doesn't change Erik. He's still the same person, only closer to you now. You loved Erik when he was your uncle, and you should do the same now that he's your father."_

"_I don't want to see him! I don't want to know him…"_

"_Eudora, we did this for a reason. I was married when I ran away from my husband."_

"_Why did you do that?" she sobbed. "Why would you leave your lover to come over here for another man?"_

_My daughter wiped her eyes, and I continued with my story. She needed to know the truth, all the way from the beginning. _

"_Eudora, I've known Erik a long time. When I was a dancer in the opera house, he taught me how to sing. He loved me, but I was already in love with another; Raoul. We were childhood sweethearts and I thought he was the better choice. It was only until I actually married him that I realized that he was anything but. He beat me, Eudora, he abused me. That's why I ran from him. I came over here and found Erik, and we fell in love. I was married, Eudora, that's why Erik was kept as your uncle."_

"_And what of Raoul? Where is he? Are you still married?"_

_I shook my head._

"_He died when he got into a confrontation with Erik and I. I was pregnant with you, and he wanted to hurt you because you were Erik's and not his."_

"_Then why keep the secret after I was born? He was dead, mother."_

"_For Erik's safety. We weren't married and we knew better than to do such a thing knowing what the public would say. This was his only way to see you, Eudora."_

"_I still don't want to see him. I don't want him, mother. I don't want him as my father."_

"_Why would you say this?"_

"_Because he wasn't my father when I was born, and I don't want him now."_

_I knew if Erik were listening to this, he would fall over and die. I only thanked God that it was just the two of us sitting here. _

"_Things are going to change around here, Eudora." I softly told her. "Erik and I are in love and when things clear up him and I are going to be married."_

"_Don't marry him, mother. I don't want you to marry him! It's supposed to be the two of us! That's how it's supposed to be!"_

"_Erik is your father, Eudora, and he has a right to love me just as he loves you. We are going to move in here and be one happy family. It may take time for you to see this, but we will be happy."_

"_I'll never be happy! Never! Not while he's around! He is nothing! Nothing, mother!"_

"_He is your father, Eudora!"_

"_You lied to me my whole life, mother! How could you ever expect me to just accept him as anything but my uncle! You lied to me! You lied!"_

_I sighed, thinking of how to make things better. _

"_I'm sorry, Eudora."_

"_No you're not. You're just saying anything and everything possible to make me feel better. If you were sorry, you wouldn't have lied to me in the first place. Now leave me alone…."_

_I didn't know what else to say. I had lied to my daughter and now she was angry. I couldn't blame her. How was I to expect her to love Erik as her father so quickly? This was going to take time, and the best thing to do now was give her the privacy she wanted._

"_I'm going into town. I guess you wouldn't be interested in joining me?"_

_Eudora plopped onto her bed, and turned from me._

"_I guess not. I'll be back soon."_

_I felt terrible for leaving my daughter, but what else was I to do? She was upset and there was nothing I could say to make her change her ways. After putting on my cloak, I left the flat, and headed towards town. Usually when I traveled into the city, no one noticed me at all. Today however, it was extremely different. Everyone who seen me walking by leaned over to whisper to the person standing next to them. Some even gave me dirty looks…..Had the word of what Erik told the freaks the day before really gotten around that fast? _

"_Christine!" _

_I heard my name being called, only to turn and see Meg running towards me. This was not what I needed right now. Did she not realize that we were still enemies? I ignored her, and continued walking to the stores I had wanted to visit. But Meg wouldn't give up, I could still hear her running towards me. _

"_Christine!"_

"_Go away, Meg."_

"_Christine, please stop."_

_Deciding to see what she sounded to serious about, I stopped and turned to face her. _

"_Meg, what is it? I thought I told you to stay away from me and my family."_

"_I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself….not after I saw this."_

_She revealed a rolled up news paper from behind her back, and opened it to show me the front page. It completely stopped my heart! There on the front page was a picture of Erik and the most degradable headline I had ever seen. "Mister E: The Phantasma Rapist."_

_My jaw dropped, and I couldn't breathe. How could they write that! Erik would never hurt a single person! Not anymore!_

"_Christine, I know the press has written some horrible stories about Erik, but this has gone too far. Even I know this story isn't true."_

"_It's all because of what he said to his employees yesterday."_

"_But it wasn't true, Christine." Meg assured. "He was only protecting you."_

"_How did this get out to the press!" I demanded. "Who told the press this story!"_

"_I don't know, but someone squealed. The story has even more lies than I have ever read. It goes on and on about how he held you as his prisoner and continuously raped you for years."_

"_That's not true!" I cried. "Why would you even bring this up to me!" _

_I was in tears now. It would have been better if I didn't even know this existed. _

"_Because I am your friend, Christine. You shouldn't have things like this written about you. Especially when it's not true."_

"_Erik said those things yesterday because he wanted to protect my name. The press has ruined that too."_

"_I can set things straight, Christine." Meg promised me. "I can make things better. I'll find a way to talk to the press for you."_

"_Meg, please….I don't want nothing to do…"_

"_You don't ever have to speak to me again, Christine." Meg replied. "But I'm not going to sit around and let the press call you such horrible things. Just give me a few days, and things will be set straight."_

_I didn't say thank you, or anything to Meg. I didn't believe she was going to set things straight, and therefore, I didn't thank her. I just walked away as if our conversation never happened. Shopping was painful, extremely painful because no matter what store I entered, people seemed to whisper, giggle and gossip behind my back. By the time I made it home, I was so upset, that I found myself in the kitchen sobbing over the groceries I was putting away. This day had gone horribly wrong. If only Erik had told the truth. If he had told the truth, none of this would have happened. Perhaps people would still be gossiping, but at least I wouldn't be known as the "Victim."_

"_Christine?"_

_I knew Erik was standing in the doorway, but I wouldn't speak to him. I couldn't cry over this….No, there was nothing wrong with me. _

"_Go back to bed." I ordered wiping away my tears. _

"_I heard you crying. What's wrong, Christine? Please don't lie to me."_

"_I said nothing!"_

_That was it, that was the last straw. I broke down to my knees, and began hysterically sobbing into my hands. I felt like a monster by the way I was treated in town this afternoon. Not only that but even my own daughter hated me now. _

"_Mon ange, is it me? Is it your Erik? What has he done?"_

_I couldn't tell him what I was crying about. I couldn't find it within my heart to be mad at him. _

"_Erik, just please go back to bed and leave me be."_

_But Erik wouldn't. He tried to lift me up by my arm, and that's when I snapped. I hadn't meant to do it, and if I would have thought things through, I wouldn't have turned around and slapped him in the face. My strike was so hard that he stumbled backwards and landed up against the counter. His hand embraced the part of his cheek where I had hit him, before turning around and leaving the kitchen like a scared child. When I finally had control over my emotions, only then did I dare to walk myself into Erik's bedroom. He wasn't laying in bed, but sitting at his desk near the window looking over a few of his manuscripts as if none of what just happened took place. _

"_Christine, just leave before we both lose our tempers." was his angry answer. How did he know I was in the room? Then again, Erik was strange like that. He knew when someone was around even before they entered a room._

"_Erik, I lost my temper. I didn't mean to strike you, honest. I've just been having a terrible day. The worst since my father died."_

"_And yet you have the audacity to take it out on me? Is that what I am to you, Christine? Your punching bag? This isn't the first time you've hit me. I don't like it, Christine! I never hit you, never would I ever raise a hand to you or Eudora! And yet, you hit me….."_

"_Did…Did I hurt you?"_

"_You're god damn right! You did!"_

_His anger had finally come out, but I didn't back down. _

"_It won't happen again, I swear."_

"_Is that how you empty your anger, Christine?"_

_He turned to me, his hand rubbing the part of his face that I hit. _

"_Hitting me? I know your Erik should be punished, but….it hurts so much."_

_I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pressed my lips and tears to his sore cheek. I was such a monster, how could I hit the one I love? Raoul had done this to me, and I had ran from that life. How was I any better? Erik should be running from me…._

"_You're crying."_

_I wiped my eyes, and buried my head into his back. _

"_Christine, please, tell me…."_

_He turned, and pressed me close to him, his arms wrapping themselves tightly around my body. _

"_Tell me about your day, Christine."_

"_No, it was the worst day ever. You don't need to hear such things, Erik."_

_Erik stood up from his seat, backing me up towards our bed. When I felt the mattress against the backs of my legs, I fell, only to have Erik come with me. He pressed light kisses all the way down my neck, as I stared up at the ceiling wondering what to say to him. _

"_Tell your Erik about your day." he cooed softly into my ear. "Let him take away the pain of it all."_

"_Eudora doesn't want to talk to either of us." I started, deciding to tell him about the smallest thing first. _

"_I can understand this. We lied to her, and it's going to take time for things to heal."_

_His lips were now over mine._

"_Do not worry about her, Christine. Eudora will understand someday."_

_I had wanted to end our conversation here, but Erik could tell that there was more. He could see it within my glossy eyes. _

"_Mon ange? What else? I know there's something bigger bothering you."_

_When I didn't answer him, his lips pressed themselves up against my ear._

"_Tell me, Christine."_

"_I….I went into town today. They know, Erik….the people know about what you said yesterday."_

"_How?"_

"_The papers…..The headline is horrible." I sobbed. "They called you a rapist, and the whole article explains about how I was your prisoner and how you continuously raped me for the past few years."_

_I saw Erik's fists turn white as he stood up and punched the wall with all his might. _

"_How dare they!" he shouted, a violent cough interrupting his rage. "I'll kill every one of those bastards! I meant to protect you! And what happens? Your name is destroyed as well!"_

_He tried to grab his cloak, when he weakened at the knees and went plummeting to the floor. He was coughing uncontrollably, blood spilling out of his mouth and staining the floor boards. _

"_Erik!"_

_I ran to his side to help him up, but he didn't stand. He couldn't even lift his head! I knew something was terribly wrong with him, and there wasn't any time to waste. I managed to get him back into bed, but the blood continued to come. I never ran so fast in all of my life! I threw on my cloak, and headed towards town to fetch the doctor. I should have done it the moment Erik dived into the ocean to find Eudora yesterday, but he seemed alright. _

_When the doctor followed me back to the flat, I was told to stay out in the main room while he looked over Erik. I was like an expecting mother, pacing the floor outside of Erik's room, not knowing what to do. I felt helpless against everything. My Erik was in his room possibly dying, and where was I? standing outside the door like a stranger. It would have felt better to have Eudora at my side, but she was still locked away in her room. She didn't want to talk to me, and I couldn't blame her. _

_When the doctor came walking out of the room, he bumped into me due to how close I was to the door. _

"_Christine?"_

"_Yes? How is he?"_

_The doctor didn't look too promising as he took my by the arm and lead me out to the main room. It was there that he sat me down and explained the condition that my lover was in. _

"_Doctor, how is he? Will his cold go away?"_

"_Christine, his cold will go away, but it's not the cold that caused the blood."_

"_Then what is it?" I sat back in my chair and awaited the horrible news. _

"_How long have you known about his heart?"_

"_His heart?" I questioned._

"_Yes, his heart."_

"_What's wrong with it?"_

"_He's suffering from a weak heart."_

"_A weak heart?" I repeated in disbelief. "How could he have developed a weak heart?"_

"_Many things. A tragic event, being overworked, many things."_

"_Is it serious?"_

_The doctor nodded._

"_Extremely serious. He's exhausted, and needs to stay off his feet. I'm putting him on a medicine to take with his meals. It will calm his nerves and stop his blood pressure from rising due to anger. As long as he stays rested and calm his heart shouldn't cause him any problems."_

"_He runs Phantasma."_

"_Right, but when spring comes, he has to take it easy. The less stress on him the better."_

"_How's Erik now?"_

"_I gave him something to make him sleepy. He'll probably sleep for the rest of the day."_

_I thanked the doctor, and showed him out. Afterwards, I entered Erik's room to see him laying in bed with a bloody cloth sat on the night table. He still had some dried blood on the upper part of his lips, and I leaned in to wipe it away. _

"_You were overworked and yet you didn't slow down." I said. _

_Erik didn't say a word, and continued looking towards the window. _

"_You push yourself too hard."_

_Erik finally turned his head, and placed my hand over his chest. _

"_Do you feel that, Christine?"_

_His heart beat against my palm so strongly that I didn't sense a s single problem with it. _

_I nodded._

"_It beats for one person and only one person; you."_

"_Why didn't you tell me about this?"_

"_About what? I didn't know about my heart."_

"_But you knew you were exhausted and yet you didn't rest. You had problems dwelling inside of you and still you didn't tell me. That's what I'm here for, Erik."_

_Erik's eyes were getting heavy, and I knew the doctor's medicine was working on him. _

"_Get some sleep."_

_I kept myself occupied with reading and cleaning the flat for the remainder of the day. That night, I cooked dinner, and made up a tray for Erik. As I let Erik's chicken cool, I knocked on Eudora's door hoping she would come out._

"_Eudora, I made some dinner."_

_She didn't answer me._

"_It's your favorite."_

_Still no answer. I knew she was extremely upset and so decided not to enter._

"_You don't have to come out, Eudora, but….if you get hungry it's out in the kitchen waiting for you."_

_With that, I carried Erik's tray into his room to find him laying there with his eyes closed. _

"_Erik, I brought you dinner."_

_He opened his eyes as I placed the tray into his lap. I then opened the bottle of tablets that the doctor left for Erik's heart, and placed one of them onto the tray._

"_What in the world is that?"_

"_The doctor said you need to take a tablet with all your meals."_

"_I'd rather not."_

_I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I held the pill up to his lips, and lifted the glass of water off the tray. _

"_Erik, don't make me shove this down your throat. You need to get better."_

"_Curse you, woman." he grumbled, placing the pill into his mouth and washing it down with the water. _

"_How do you feel?"_

"_The same as I did four hours ago."_

_As he chewed some of the chicken I made, I brushed my hand through his hair, relieved that his fever had come down a bit. _

"_After you're finished eating I'll get you your cough medicine."_

"_I feel like a helpless old man."_

"_You're not young anymore, Erik. You've been pushing yourself too hard, which is why you're in the situation that you're in now."_

"_So what am I to do? Lay here like a dying geezer? I have a park to run, Christine."_

"_I know that, but you need to take it easy. What you did yesterday was uncalled for and I thank God that you didn't die of pneumonia."_

"_And what? You'd rather let our daughter freeze to death?"_

"_Erik, you know I didn't mean it like that."_

"_I'm finished eating." he said switching the subject. "You can take it away."_

_I did as he asked, and kissed him on the lips._

"_Sleep, my love. Perhaps you'll feel better in the morning."_

"_Perhaps we'll all feel better in the morning. Don't stay up too late, Christine."_

"_I won't."_

_After leaving Erik in the darkness of his room, I entered the kitchen to find Eudora's meal still sitting on the stove. Deciding to leave her be, I cleaned up, and gave in to wanting to check on her one final time before going to bed. _

"_Eudora?"_

_I knocked on her door, hoping she would answer me this time._

"_Eudora, please say something. I'm beginning to get worried about you."_

_Still I didn't get an answer. When I couldn't hold myself back any longer, I opened the door expecting to find her in bed…only she wasn't! she wasn't in her room at all and to make matters worse, her window was open! I prayed this wasn't happening, but as I searched under the bed and in the closet onky find no signs of her, I knew this nightmare was coming true! My daughter was gone! And so were a few of her belongings. She had not done this on accident, no, our daughter had run away!_

* * *

**Ok, I promise the next chapter will be filled with fluff. I'll try to get another one up before Christmas, but I'm not promising anything. Depends on how much stuff I get done before the holiday. Please Review! Love you all!**


	48. Chapter 48

"_Together forever_

_Together at last_

_I love you always_

_Our love is what makes up our past."-_Excerption from the diary of Erik

**Erik's POV**

_I lay there for the longest time after Christine left me. I had even drifted off for a while. When I felt someone shaking me, I groaned and rolled over to pull the blankets over my head. But when the shaking wouldn't stop, I finally opened my eyes to see Christine standing over my bed with a look of sorrow upon her face. _

"_Erik, something's happened."_

"_What?" I ran my fingers through my hair, and sat up despite the pain in my chest. _

"_Eudora's gone!" she gasped. "She's not in her room and her window is open."_

_This took me by surprise. My daughter was gone again! I knew why she was gone. I knew she was upset over all the events that had taken place recently. _

"_Christine, get my cloak." I ordered, sitting up. _

"_What? You're not going to look for her, Erik. You're sick and need to stay in bed."_

"_Get my cloak!" _

_I knew what I needed to do, and I needed to do it alone. _

_When Christine didn't move, I marched over to where my cloak was hanging and tore it off the hanger. _

"_Erik, please."_

"_No, Christine, I have to do this alone. I need time alone with my daughter to talk to her."_

_Christine didn't argue any further, and helped me into my cloak. She even handed me my hat. _

"_Please stay warm, Erik."_

_I kissed her lips softly, and smiled at how much she cared about me._

"_I'll be back with her as soon as possible."_

_The night air was cold, but my cloak kept me warm as I followed her tiny footprints that were indented in the snow. Tonight I would speak to my daughter, and tonight she would understand me. I followed those footsteps all the way to the Phantasma library. They ended at a closed window, making it obvious that she had slipped through it. Instead of entering the same way, I took out my key, and entered through the door. It was extremely dark inside, and the sound of my piano being played echoed off the walls. I slowly crept through my library all the way to the second floor where my piano was set. And there she was, her back turned to me, playing one of the most beautiful songs I had ever heard. Beside her was a bag of her belongings, making it obvious that she planned on staying away for a while. _

_I had to think about what I was about to do. For I knew the wrong move would end the conversation before it even started. Instead of interrupting her, I took a seat beside my daughter and joined in playing with her. At least I was trying to understand her. When she saw me sitting beside her, her melody sped up making her song sound angry and filled with hatred. I didn't stop, and continued playing just as fast as she was. This only frustrated her even more, causing her song to get angrier. She might have been only four, but she could play just as well as me, perhaps even better…._

"_Why must you make your song sound so angry?" I kindly asked. _

_Eudora ended her song, and turned away from me. _

"_Because, why would it sound happy? I've been lied to my whole life. That's the melody I hear within my heart."_

"_And you have every right to feel that way. Though, your mother is extremely upset about your flight from the flat."_

"_I'm not going back!" she shouted. "So don't try to make me change my mind. I'm leaving Coney Island for good."_

"_Really?" this shocked me, but I decided to play along. "And how will a four year old take care of herself out in the world?"_

_Eudora turned back to me, and crossed her arms over her chest._

"_Don't treat me like a baby! I'm old enough to take care of myself!"_

"_And where will you go?"_

"_West."_

"_West?" I questioned. "And how will you get there?"_

"_I'll take a train. I'm not stupid!"_

"_Really? A train. A train costs money."_

_I knew Eudora was becoming aggravated with my questions. She was so stubborn. Then again, she was so much like me. _

"_People will give me money. As soon as they see me standing there alone with my doll. Who's going to turn down a little girl trying to raise money to visit her father out west?"_

_My daughter was also extremely smart. Reminded me of my pick pocketing days as a child in the city when I would scam others for money while lying. It worked, it always did. _

"_Right. That might work, but what about when you get out west?" I questioned, fingering the piano keys. "How will you live on your own? You'll grow up in a workhouse."_

"_No I won't!"_

"_Eudora, I lived on my own for a long time. I was a little older than you when I was left to survive on my own. It's not a simple thing to do. Some nights you don't have any food, other nights it rains…..Are you sure you're ready to do this?"_

_Eudora held up her bag of belongings, and placed it down in front of her. _

"_Of course I'm ready! I packed!"_

"_Could I see what you have?"_

_It took a few moments, but Eudora nodded and slid the bag over to me. Finally, I was gaining her trust. I opened her bag, and took out the contents. Her dolls, a few sets of clothes, and her brush. _

"_That's it?" I questioned. "What about food? What about a pocket knife?"_

"_Pocket knife?" she questioned, raising a thin brow._

"_Yes, a pocket knife will help you build shelter from the weather. It will catch you your meals."_

"_Meals?"_

"_Yes, since you don't have any money, you're going to have to resort to killing animals."_

"_What!" _

_Her eyes widened and I knew I finally had her attention. _

"_You heard me. You can't starve."_

_Eudora didn't say another word. She just pulled her bag of belongings to her, and looked up at me. _

"_Is that what you had to do?"_

_I only nodded. _

"_Maybe….." she paused, looking down at her feet. "Maybe I made a mistake. About running away that is. Though, I still don't want to go back home."_

"_I know you're mad at me, Eudora. I know you're mad at mother too. But we love you so much. I know we shouldn't have lied, but what choice did we have? It hurt me everyday to know that I couldn't be your father."_

"_I'm still mad."_

"_And you have every right to be. I don't expect you to call me your father, but I'd like us to at least try an have a relationship of some sort."_

_This was the moment I had been waiting for. I was waiting on her answer, not knowing what she was going to say. She thought long and hard for a few moments before lifting her head and simply nodding. _

"_I…I don't know how well it will go, but I'll try…..for mother's sake."_

_I smiled, satisfied with her answer. It was the most hopeful thing I had heard the entire evening. _

"_So…you're my papa?"_

"_I think we've established that." _

"_If you're my papa, then…..then how is it that I'm finished?"_

_I touched my mask, remembering about our conversation we shared a while back. _

"_I don't know…..I was worried about you turning out to be like me….but…..Oh, Eudora, you're so beautiful."_

"_It doesn't feel right calling you….papa…."_

"_You can call me anything, Eudora. You don't have to call me papa if you're not comfortable."_

"_Ok…."_

"_Come, we should be getting home before your mother gets worried."_

_My daughter was silent as I carried her bag of belongings back to the flat. Once inside, we were met with an upset Christine. She had been pacing the floor, waiting for us to show up. As soon as she saw the both of us walk in, she broke down and began sobbing hysterically to Eudora._

"_Where have you been! You had me worried!"_

_How badly I wanted to cut in, but I knew I hadn't the authority, not yet anyway. Yes, I was her father, but it felt wrong to settle things that I had no business in. Instead, I left the two of them and went into my room to change. Christine came walking in a few moments later, and crawled in beside me. I had my back turned towards her, and didn't know what to say. Finally, I felt her arm wrap around my waist, and her lips up against my neck. _

"_Thanks, Mon ange."_

_I turned to face her and kissed her mouth ever so tenderly. _

"_I love you, Christine. I love you so much…."_

_Christine smiled, and ran her fingers down my chest and beneath the blankets._

"_Then prove it." came her slow and sexual reply._

_I felt her hand rubbing slowly over the center of my sleep trousers. I knew I shouldn't have acted out on her touch, but I couldn't help it. I had gone my whole life without sex and now that I was finally receiving it I wanted it all the time. _

"_Oh, Christine…."_

_My hands wandered around her body as hers did the same. I was living, and I was the happiest man alive! I was making love to a woman like any other man, and she wasn't recoiling against my touch! After that night our relationship grew as strong as it once was. Winter didn't last long, but in those winter months, I found comfort from Christine and my daughter. I had allowed them to move in with me, and soon, I had Skimbleshanks laying at my feet every second of everyday. It was a blessing having Christine living with me once more. My flat felt homier and always smelled of sweets and the shampoo that she used. _

_Things between Eudora and I were patched slowly, stitch by stitch. Most days our talking was done through music, while other days we didn't speak at all. When spring time came, I was occupied with opening my park so left Christine for most of the day, returning after the sun had long since gone down. At night we would make love and lay within each other's arms until sleep over took us. My life was wonderful…..completely wonderful. And as wonderful as my life was at home, it was the complete opposite on the outside. I was glad the stares and words had stopped with Christine, but I couldn't say the same for myself. Meg had done wonders with the press, explaining that the whole rape story had been a lie, and that it was consensual. But many people still found it hard to believe a woman would want to bed with the likes of me. Whispers and gossip about me stretched throughout the park, and to say the words didn't hurt was a lie…but at least it wasn't Christine being talked about. I would take all the hurtful words in the world just so she wouldn't have to hear them. Let them talk about me….let them call me a rapist! I knew the truth! I knew it was a lie, and I had the joy of waking up beside the one I loved each and every morning!_

_I awoke one hot June morning, wrapped up naked beside Christine. We had spent the night making love, only to fall asleep beside one another before dressing. I had expanded my park this season. I had to do something to bring in more people after all that had happened to my family friendly name. I bought more land on the other side of Coney Island, and opened a giant swimming pool; the first ever in Coney Island. With that I also built a few slides that twisted and turned and eventually dropped you into the pool. The weather had been so hot lately that all anybody wanted to do was swim. Today however, my pool was going to be closed in order for me to finish building changing rooms and a food stand I had started on earlier in the season. _

_When the sun was just coming up, I rolled over, being careful not to disturb Christine. But once she felt me unwrapping myself from her, she woke. _

"_Erik….don't go."_

_Her tone was groggy, and still half asleep._

"_Christine, I must. I have to finish work around the pool."_

"_It's early yet."_

_I reached down on the floor for my shirt, and swung it around my shoulder._

"_The early bird catches the worm, angel."_

"_I worry about you in this heat."_

_I rolled my eyes, and went for my trousers._

"_Christine, I've taken my heart medicine. I'll be fine."_

"_Drink plenty of…"_

"_Water, yes I know."_

_I was headed for the door, when Christine caught my arm. _

"_Erik…."_

_I turned to face her, wondering what she wanted, but all thoughts were put aside as she kissed me ever so passionately. It was moments like this that made me want to stay home with her. It pained me to have to leave her for work, but I had no other choice. _

"_Be safe, mon ange."_

"_I'll be home as soon as possible."_

_I walked through the humid and packed park, trying to make my way over to the pool. I tried to keep my eyes on where I was walking, and not on the people who were cruelly staring and whispering behind my back. When I made it to the fenced in pool, I walked over to one of my unfinished changing rooms and began working. It was just about finished, the only thing left was to paint the outside wall. Most days I worked alone. Usually I would find one of my employees to help out, but ever since the beginning of the season I've decided to work alone. It was better that way. As I stood there painting with the brush I had within my hand, I heard a small familiar voice. _

"_What are you doing?"_

_I turned around and saw Eudora standing there. How on earth did she get in here? Surely Christine would be worried sick, and I've told the child time and time again about not venturing out on her own. _

"_What have I told you before?" I growled, dipping my brush back into the paint. _

"_About what?"_

"_Venturing out on your own. Something could happen."_

"_I'm five, Erik. You don't have to treat me like a baby."_

_How I hated being called that! I knew there wasn't anything I could do to change her ways, but when she called me by my first name it made my heart break. At least she was talking to me. _

"_You haven't even started school yet, Eudora." I continued painting the wall, as she stood behind me. _

"_I will in the fall." _

"_So that makes you an adult?"_

_Without me knowing, she dipped her hand in the paint and made her handprint on the wall. This angered me! _

"_Eudora!"_

_I slammed down my paintbrush, and stared at her orange handprint on the wall. _

"_Why did you do that?"_

_Eudora didn't become frightened of my anger, and giggled. _

"_What? It looks good."_

_I picked up my brush and painted over her print. _

"_You're causing me more work." I growled. "Just go play…."_

"_Can we go swimming sometime?"_

"_We'll see."_

_Just then, Mr. Squelch came hurrying inside the gate. I groaned, and placed down my paint brush. I knew I wasn't going to be getting any work done today. _

"_Mister E…."_

"_Yes, Mr. Squelch?"_

"_Some travelers just started setting up over on the other side of Phantasma."_

"_What?"_

"_Caravans….I came right away to tell you."_

"_I didn't give permission for anyone to set up camp."_

"_Follow me."_

_Eudora walked beside me as I followed Mr. Squelch to the other side of the park. Indeed, Mr. Squelch had been right. There were gypsies setting up to perform. _

"_Gypsies!" Eudora exclaimed._

_I looked down at my daughter who was ready to walk right over to them. I pulled my daughter back by her arm, and looked at Mr. Squelch._

"_Mr. Squelch, take my daughter home."_

"_But Erik…" my daughter whined. _

"_Mr. Squelch…..do it."_

_I handed my daughter over to him, and waited until they were long gone before daring to march over to the gypsy camp. There were five caravans, about fifteen gypsies setting up stages and tending to the animals they brought along with them. I wasn't sure where they came from, but by the luggage they had tied to their caravans it was obvious that it was from far away. _

_I approached a woman who was feeding the horses. As soon as she saw me, she gasped and backed up against her caravan. _

"_Don't look at me like that Madame." I scowled. "I wish to speak to the one in charge here."_

_When she didn't move, I crossed my arms over my chest and gave her a dirty look._

"_Now!_

_She quickly scurried away, returning moments later with a large man with a black beard. He resembled my master in every aspect, which sent shivers down my spine. But all I had to keep telling myself was that it wasn't my master…..my master was dead. _

"_What's the problem here?" he asked in a foreign accent._

_How dare he come to my park and ask me what the problem is! This is my park! He didn't even ask permission to set up camp!_

"_I'm Mister E. I own this park that you have set your camp up in."_

"_I can see that." he said looking at my mask. It bothered me to see him doing this. He wasn't looking at me in fear nor was he looking at me with confusion….He was staring at me as if I were his next attraction. _

"_I have lots of work to finish before tonight, so you must excuse me."_

"_What? No! This is my park and I have come here to ask you to leave."_

"_We shall do no such thing."_

"_And why not?"_

"_Because we are to perform. We have brought wonders from the other side of the country."_

"_Not without paying me…." I argued. "I own this park and no one comes in here without paying me."_

"_It's a free country."_

"_Not in Phantasma, Sir…."_

"_How much?"_

"_Sixty percent of your earnings."_

_The gypsy's eyes widened._

"_You're trying to cheat me! Sixty percent!"_

"_Fair is fair. If not then I suggest that you pack up and be gone by sundown."_

"_Fifty percent!"_

"_Are you trying to scam me?" I growled._

"_No….Fair is fair…."_

_I had enough money for my grandchildren to live comfortably, but I hated gypsies, which is why I wanted sixty percent from them._

"_Sixty." I argued back._

"_Fifty five and not a penny more!"_

_I don't know why I did it, but I agreed. _

"_Fine….I'll be by every other day for my half." I told him. "What's your name?"_

"_Jefro." he said._

_I didn't say another word to him and walked away. For the remainder of the day I painted and finished up what ever needed to be done. When the sun went down, I walked home and found Christine placing dinner on the table. _

"_I'm home."_

_Christine looked up from the stove, and came walking over to me. _

"_I was wondering when you were going to come through the door."_

"_Yea, the day has been pretty busy."_

_She leaned into kiss me, only to notice how sweaty my body and clothes were._

"_You smell like death, Erik." Christine teased. "Go get a bath."_

"_I'll do that."_

"_Dinner is in ten minutes."_

_The cold water felt wonderful on my hot skin, and it instantly cooled me off. Afterwards I dressed in a white shirt and trousers. I joined my family at the table, and began eating the pasta dinner Christine had cooked. _

"_Thanks for cooking." I said, sipping on my wine._

_Christine reached over and rubbed my boney hand. _

"_Erik you thank me every night. It's the least I could do."_

_Eudora who was eating her dinner looked up and interrupted us._

"_What happened with the gypsies?"_

_This caught Christine's attention._

"_Gypsies?" her tone was confused, and the last thing I wanted was for her to become upset. _

"_Yes, they set up camp over by the Ferris wheel."_

"_Eudora…."_

_Christine then turned to face me, her expression becoming more and more confused._

"_Erik, what is Eudora talking about?"_

"_It's nothing, love. We'll talk later…."_

"_Erik…."_

"_I said we'll talk later."_

_And with that, we finished our dinner. After cleaning up, I went to get ready for bed while Christine tucked Eudora in for the night. After a little bit Christine came walking in to change. I laid there in bed and watched as her body glowed within the candle light…..Such a sight never bored me. _

"_So Erik, are you ready to tell me about the gypsies?"_

_She crawled into bed, and kissed me on the lips. _

"_It's just a show, Christine. Mr. Squelch saw them setting up and came to warn me. I went to them and struck a deal."_

"_And you let them perform?" she gasped._

"_And why not?"_

"_Because you hate them. They treat people like animals, Erik."_

"_They haven't done anything yet, Christine."_

"_Erik, how could you let them into your park?"_

"_Christine, I promise if they do anything horrible I'll kick them out."_

_Christine smiled, and kissed me goodnight._

_As we closed our eyes, I heard the door opening only to look over and see Eudora standing there with her doll._

"_Mother? Erik? I had a bad dream…."_

_Christine held her arms open, and my daughter came running to her._

"_It's only a bad dream." she assured. _

"_Could I sleep here with you?"_

_Christine looked at me, awaiting my answer…Sleeping with my mask on would be uncomfortable, but for my daughter I would do anything. When I nodded, Christine placed our daughter down in between us, and covered her up. I wasn't sure what the following day would bring, but at least we were together now…..And as we fell asleep, I felt Eudora's tiny fingers tracing around my mask…..Such a curious child…..yet she was so much like me._

* * *

_**Merry Christmas! Please review! Love you all!**_


	49. Chapter 49

"_Tonight_

_Tomorrow_

_Alone again _

_All I feel is sorrow._

_I lay alone at night_

_Hoping that you might_

_Just come walking through that door_

_But I know my wish_

_For that goodnight kiss_

_Is a dream and nothing more_

_In the morning you shall come_

_Home again to sleep _

_Until once again darkness comes to steal you from my keep" - _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_Spring had finally arrived. Winter had began making me absolutely crazy. Staying inside all the time had began taking its toll. But right at that moment, spring arrived. Spring turned into summer, and soon Erik was gone every day. He worked late hours, only arriving home after the sun had gone down. Because of the hot weather, I tried to keep our daughter occupied with watering the flowers in the garden Erik had made me, or taking walks on the beach. Meg had cleared my name from the press, and as badly as I wanted to thank her for it, I had not seen her since the night she promised to talk to the press. Even Erik, who had found forgiveness within his heart to let Meg sing again had not even seen her. And when he asked around to see if any of his employees had seen her, they always told him no. I wasn't sure what happened to her, but I only hoped she was ok. _

_Erik returned home one night, explaining that he had let a band of gypsies set up in his park. I knew he loathed them, and couldn't understand why he had allowed it. I wasn't sure if he knew either. For the next few days, the heat only intensified, and Erik, who was still working on the stands and changing rooms around the Phantasma pool had started working during the closed hours of the park. The heat was so terrible, that Erik had decided to open the pool for the public during the day, and work when it was closed. This not only drew in bigger crowds, but also gave him the advantage of not working in the scorching heat caused by the sun. As much as I liked the idea of him working during the night, I soon learned how lonely it was. I was used to laying in his bed with him beside me…..but when these nights started, his bed felt like a vacant ocean with only me wading within it. I would lay there most nights, staring at the ceiling and watching the clock's hands move. I missed him…I missed sleeping beside him so much that sleeping alone was something I couldn't handle. _

_When the sun would come up, Erik would return home exhausted from the night's work. He would bathe, and then kiss me softly before climbing into bed to sleep the day away. It felt strange. He worked at night while I slept and slept during the day while I was up and about. He was like an owl and I a rabbit….We were on two completely different shifts and I hardly ever saw him. I knew it was only until he finished with the pool, but days turned into weeks, and it was driving me completely mad. _

_I was in the kitchen making breakfast one morning when I heard the door open and turn to see Erik headed towards the bedroom. Usually he would come looking for me before heading to the bathroom, but for some odd reason he wasn't bothering today. I placed down the wash cloth I was using to clean the dishes and went after him. _

"_Erik?"_

_I entered our bedroom to find quiet and empty. Where had he gone?_

"_Yes, Christine?" came the tired groan from behind the wardrobe. _

"_Can I speak with you?"_

"_We are speaking."_

_He came walking out with a long shirt hanging down to his knees, and began making his way over to the bed. I knew he was exhausted and whenever he was exhausted, his anger was a ticking time bomb. He took a seat at the side of the bed, and ran his fingers through his grey hair. I took a breath, and sat beside him, placing my hand over his bare knee. _

"_Erik, how much longer?" I asked, hoping he would understand what I was asking him. _

"_How much longer for what?" _

"_Until your late night working comes to an end?"_

_He plopped back against the mattress in pure exhaustion, and groaned. _

"_Christine, please, I am in no mood for this game. I've told you time and time again that I will be finished with it when I'm finished."_

"_And that was almost a month ago. I hardly see you anymore, angel." I pouted._

"_You see me. You're seeing me right now."_

"_You know what I mean, Erik."_

_Erik pulled himself fully into bed, and closed his eyes. _

"_Christine, I'm almost finished."_

"_How many more nights, Erik? How many more nights am I going to have to lay here alone? It's like you're a nocturnal owl and me, a daytime rabbit."_

"_I'm sorry that you feel that way." he coldly replied._

"_Erik….."_

_He sat up, and pressed his lips to my own._

"_I'm sorry, Christine. You know how aggravated I get when I'm tired. Look, I'm almost finished. Perhaps three more nights and I'll be done."_

_This still upset me, but it was better than no answer at all. _

"_Get some rest, Erik."_

"_Could you open the window a little?" he asked me. "It's very hot."_

_It was a little stuffy, so I did as he asked and cracked the window to let in the light breeze._

_After kissing him one last time, I closed his door and tended to finishing what I was doing before Erik walked in. A while later, a knock occurred at the door, and I immediately rushed to answer it fearing that the noise would disturb Erik from his sleep. When I opened the door and saw Meg standing there, my eyes widened in amazement. But why was she here? And where had she been for nearly five months?_

"_Meg!"_

_I wrapped my arms around her, and hugged her for the first time in years. Why was I so excited to see her? Yes, Erik had forgiven her for clearing my name, but I hadn't seen her since._

"_Christine, may I come in?"_

"_Yes."_

_I pulled her inside the flat, and closed the door. _

"_Meg, where have you been? Erik's been asking around for you but no one seemed to know where you were."_

"_Oh, I left New York for a while." she smiled. "To visit my mother. I missed her so much, and a visit was in order." _

"_And that's where you've been all this time?"_

_She nodded. _

"_Yes. I needed the fresh air."_

"_So what brings you here?" I asked starting some tea on the stove._

"_Is the master around?"_

_Her tone suddenly changed from being happy to extremely concerned. _

"_He's asleep." I said looking towards his closed door. "He's been working during the night. He opened a pool….the first ever in Coney Island."_

"_Is that what that fenced in area was over near the maze of mirrors?"_

_I nodded._

"_Yes, he's been working on building changing rooms and a concession stand for it. It's been extremely hot so he's been doing his work at night."_

"_Oh…" was her only reply._

"_Why? Is there something wrong? If it's about returning to Phantasma as the staring act, he'd be more than happy to give it to you."_

"_Oh, no, it's not about that. I'm going to take a leave of absence for a while from the spot light. I actually got a job working in Coney Island as a waitress. I quite like it there…." she paused, trying to think of the right term to say. "The people are a lot calmer and friendlier."_

_This was strange. It was as if the Meg I grew up with had suddenly returned. Not that there was anything wrong with that. _

"_Ok." was my stunned reply. "Then what's wrong?"_

"_Well…..perhaps….I mean that is…." _

"_What? You can tell me anything."_

_Meg looked towards the ground, and then back at me. There was indeed something seriously wrong, but I didn't know what._

"_Christine, have you gone out to see the shows in Phantasma?"_

_I paused. _

"_Um….no, not really. Why?"_

"_I got back yesterday from Paris and decided to take a night stroll around Phantasma. There was a large crowd over by the Ferris Wheel so I decided to see what all the fuss was about. There were gypsies, Christine….."_

"_Yes, I know. They've been performing here for nearly a month. Not that I like the idea, but Erik has control over that, not me."_

"_Then he knows." _

"_Knows what?"_

"_What they do." replied Meg in a frightened voice._

_I slowly shook my head._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_They have people in cages, Christine! Oddities….and they beat them with whips and let customers throw things at them. Oh, it was so horrible….."_

_This took me by surprise. I knew they were no good, and yet, Erik didn't listen to me. But he couldn't know…he couldn't have known. _

"_I've brought this up to Erik many times, but he insists that when ever he goes to collect his share from them, they have nothing but animals and show no signs of foul play. If Erik knew this, he would have done something about it."_

"_It's horrible, Christine."_

"_I'll be sure to tell Erik as soon as he wakes." I assured. "He'll fix everything."_

_Meg seemed relieved by my promise, and switched the subject._

"_How is your daughter?"_

_I smiled._

"_Growing more and more each day."_

_I then called her name, hoping she was near…..but I didn't get an answer. _

"_She was here a moment ago." I said looking towards the hallway. _

"_Eudora? Are you here?"_

_Still I didn't get an answer. For the past month, my daughter had been wandering out on her own. I hated the thought of it, but she returned each day after she was finished exploring. Finally, I left Meg for a few moments and walked to Eudora's room, only to find it empty…..Yes, my daughter had gone off again on her own. _

_**Eudora's POV**_

_For weeks I had been bored to death. After running away to the Phantasma library, my so called "papa" had come for me. How badly I had wanted to run away and leave Phantasma forever, but he eventually brought me around and I agreed to go back home with him. It was a strange thing having him around all the time now, but most of our talking was either done through music or not at all. I didn't have anything to say to him most of the time. My mother tried to get us to bond, but sometimes it was harder than I thought it to be. My entire life I had called him "Uncle," and to know that he was my father took my by surprise and not in a good way. Even after we moved into the flat with him, life was harder to live. Yes, sometimes we laughed together and other times we talked in small conversation, but Erik was still a complete stranger to me. He kept himself so hidden that it was hard to find the father within him. _

_When summer came, my mother had tried to keep me occupied with watering her rose garden that Erik had specially made for her as a Valentine's day gift. She also took me on long walks on the beach. Erik worked most days until the sun went away, but recently he had been working at night, and sleeping during the day. I used to play the piano all afternoon, but ever since he had come accustomed to sleeping during the day, mother wouldn't allow it. She told me I had to play nice quiet games so I wouldn't disturb him. Playing dress up and tea parties with my dolls had kept me occupied for a while, but how many hours can you seriously dress a doll and drink invisible tea? I had become extremely bored, and therefore, I began sneaking out. _

_I was five, and knew how to stay safe. I never left Phantasma, and always stayed inside its gates. Most times I would sit on the edge of the boardwalk watching the other children play, or go play skee-ball in the arcade. Yes, everyone else had to pay for tokens, but because I was the daughter of Mister E, I could play any game I wanted for free. The only thing I had to do was go to the front counter and see the arcade manager who was in fact good friends with Erik. He would smile, and then hand me a handful of gold tokens. _

_Of course, my mother always became upset upon seeing me return home, but it kept me quiet and entertained for a few hours. I knew better than to talk to strangers, and knew to never leave Phantasma. Today, however, I was extremely bored. I was going to walk out into the kitchen and ask my mother to take me to the beach, but when I saw her talking to that woman who Erik disliked, I left the flat. It was extremely hot today, hotter than any other day I had experienced. I would have gone to the beach, but remembered that I wasn't supposed to go swimming without my mother or Erik being with me…..Usually, if not most of the time it was my mother who escorted me because Erik loathed the beach and everyone on it. Instead, I walked along the boardwalk to the part of Phantasma I never explored. I was headed towards the Maze of Mirrors, when I spotted the gypsy camp. When they arrived a month ago, I had dropped the subject of ever seeing their show due to Erik's anger….but now was my chance. From a distance I gazed upon their colorful tents and caravans along with the many types of animals they had. I knew they only did their shows at night, but I wasn't aloud out past dark. Curiously I approached their what seemed to be deserted camp, and began roaming around. Their were so many tents scattered around that I didn't know which one to enter first. _

_There was one however that caught my eye. It was a large white tent with a huge sign hanging over its door. "The Skeleton Child." I should have left and made my way to the arcade, but something was telling me to go inside…..and so I did. After entering through the drapes, the horrible smell of what ever was inside hit me. It was extremely humid within the tent, and the ground was covered in filthy hay. I circled myself, gazing down at the disgusting hay. But that wasn't all that was in the tent….No, there was a large cage towards the back, and there was something inside of it…. _

"_Hello?" my voice was soft and scared. I tiptoed all the way to the cage, and stopped, trying to look inside to see what it was. The cage smelled even more horrible than the tent, and there wasn't any hay laying within it….just the dirty wood it was built with. _

_Then, something twitched! I gasped, and took a step back, still keeping my eyes on what ever was inside the cage. It continued moving, until I could finally see two blue eyes staring out at me. _

"_Hello?"_

_I called to it, thinking maybe it was a dog, or another animal. When I didn't get a reply, I approached the cage and wrapped my hands around the bars to boost my short self up to gaze upon what ever was in the cage. It was a boy! It wasn't an animal at all, it was a boy, no older than me, curled up into a ball. He was so thin that his body was all bone covered in drum tight flesh. He was also naked and covered in so much filth that I couldn't even see the color of his flesh. But that wasn't all, he also had a shackle wrapped around his neck so he couldn't move…_

"_Why are you in this cage?" I innocently asked him._

_He didn't say a word, and continued huddling in that very corner, trembling from head to toe…_

"_I'm not going to hurt you…." I said, reaching my hand inside the cage. This only frightened him even more. He whimpered, and pulled himself closer to the bars. On the other side of his cage, I noticed an empty bowl, one that was probably used for water. It was so hot, and I knew he had to be thirsty. I reached for it, and walked over to a small water filled barrel that was sitting on the other side of the tent. After filling it, I gently placed the bowl back in the cage, the boy watching my every move. When I backed away, he slowly reached out for it, and began hungrily drinking it as if he hadn't had anything to drink in days. When it was empty again, I reached inside the cage once more only to have the boy back away. Once again I filled the bowl up and sat it back down for him to drink. _

"_Where's your mother and papa?" I softly asked, watching him drink the water. _

_It was as if he didn't understand me. He just looked at me, as if I were going to throw something at him at any moment. _

"_Where are your clothes?"_

_Still, he didn't answer me. I wanted to do more to help him, I wanted to be friends….I never had a friend before. Quickly, I left the tent, and headed back home. The boy didn't deserve to be in that cage, but if he had to stay there, the least I could do was help him just a little. I snuck in through my bedroom window, and crept into the hallway to get to Erik's room. I was afraid of my mother catching me, but it seemed that she wasn't home. I stood in front of Erik's closed door, and slowly opened it, letting it creak a little at a time. He was still in a deep sleep, and I knew I had to be extra quiet for the task I was about to do. Slowly, I tiptoed over to his wardrobe closet, keeping an eye on him encase he suddenly woke up. He hated when I would go through his things, and if I were ever caught, I'd be in a lot of trouble. _

_When I made it to his wardrobe closet, I opened it and began rummaging through his clothes, trying to find the oldest shirt he had. Yes, the shirt would be big on the small boy, but at least it would cover his body….And then I found it! Erik's oldest shirt. It was white, and he usually wore it when ever he would paint and for nothing more due to the black and orange stains he had all over the sleeves. He wouldn't miss it, and if anything, would think that my mother threw it out…..then again, my mother knew better than to throw any of my father's belongings out. I was almost done my task, and would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for the doors of Erik's wardrobe closet to close with a loud clutter. This had immediately waken him…He forced himself to sit up, and I was extremely glad he still had his mask in place. I usually suspected him of sleeping with it off, but now that I was living here all the time he insisted on keeping it on as much as possible._

"_Eudora…." he groggily groaned. "What are you doing in here?"_

_I hid the shirt in a ball behind my back so he wouldn't see it. _

"_Nothing…..I was….um…looking for Skimbleshanks." I lied. _

"_And why would he be in here? You know damn well that cat is forbidden to be in my room."_

"_Yes….I know….but I swear I saw him come in….."_

_And just like that, as if he knew I needed him, Skimbleshanks came walking out from under Erik's bed. Yes, he was forbidden from ever being in Erik's room, but then again, Skimbleshanks always played by his own rules. _

"_Mangy feline!" Erik growled, plopping back against his pillow. _

"_I'll….be going then…."_

_I backed up until I reached the door and was able to scurry out of his room. When his door was closed again, I looked down at Skimbleshanks and sighed._

"_Thanks Skimbles, I owe you one."_

_I then hurried to the kitchen, and grabbed the loaf of bread off the table. With everything I wanted in hand, I hurried back to the gypsy camp and into the tent. The boy was still curled up against the bars like a scared animal, just how I left him. _

_I passed the shirt through the bars, and held it, hoping he would take it. _

"_This is a shirt." I told him. "You know, clothes…."_

_The boy stared at me for a few moments, and then slowly reached out before snatching it from me. He examined it for a few moments before wrapping it around his body. This made me giggle…..did he not know how to dress himself?_

"_No…." I laughed. "You put it over your head…."_

_The boy listened to me, and I thought he was going to finally slip the garment over his head, but instead he wrapped the sleeves around his head. _

"_No…. You're doing it wrong."_

_I pointed to the top of the shirt, and mimicked how to put it on. Finally, he pulled the shirt over his head correctly. _

"_Now put your arms in the sleeves…."_

_When he did, he looked at himself over and over again, seeming confused yet happy. _

_I then took the loaf of bread, and passed it through the bars._

"_Here, you must be hungry."_

_Slowly, he took the bread from my hand, and began nibbling on it, as if he were afraid to eat. But after a few moments he was indulging himself into it._

"_Wow….You must be really hungry…."_

_I stood there watching him eat, and when he finished, he wiped his mouth with his hand, and looked out at me._

"_Do you have a name?"_

_He cautiously nodded, and in a small frightened voice he cooed._

"_Dimitri."_

"_I'm Eudora."_

_I held out my hand, only wishing to shake his, but he paused….._

"_I won't hurt you." I promised. "Really…."_

_Finally, he slowly extended his own. We were inches from touching when all of a sudden and angry voice rang out._

"_What in da hell is this!"_

_I turned to see a large gypsy man rushing into the tent. _

"_How dare you come in here and….." he paused, noticing the shirt I had given Dimitri. "What is this? Clothes!"_

_He pulled out a whip from his belt, and lashed it against Dimitri._

"_What have I told you! What have I told you about clothes and food! Bad! Bad for you! You are the Skeleton Child! I should come in there and teach you a lesson! Is that what you want!" _

_The man's whip came crashing down on the boy's back, causing him to cry out._

"_Is that what you want! My cock? I know how much you enjoy it!"_

"_No…." Dimitri cried. _

"_That's all you know! That's all you ever say!"_

_Over and over again the whip came crashing down over Dimitri's back. I had to do something… I couldn't just stand there and let this happen._

"_Don't do that!" I cried. "Don't hurt him!"_

_And it was then that he turned to me…..His whip raised in the air and ready to strike my body. I was trapped, and I had no where else to go…._

* * *

**DUN DUN DUN! Please review! Decided to switch things up a bit! **


	50. Chapter 50

"_I upset you _

_That's all I seem to do_

_Is make you sad_

_And ever so blue._

_To make you happy is all I want_

_I'd give my life to you without a single thought._

_Smile today and forever more_

_Your happiness is all I wish for…"-_Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_I was so hot….I was laying there trying to sleep off the extreme exhaustion I was feeling, only to turn over and stare at the open window. Even with the window being open the humidity was still hanging around. I pressed my eyes shut, and rolled back over in hopes of falling asleep. It was then that my door opened and Christine came walking in with Meg. _

"_Erik."_

_I had not seen Meg since the night I was hurt at the opera house. I had forgiven her for clearing Christine's name, but couldn't find her anywhere. What was she doing here now?_

"_Christine? What's wrong? And why is Meg in my room?"_

_I sat up, trying to straighten my nightshirt. _

"_Erik, something's wrong."_

"_What?"_

_Meg came forward, and began explaining about the gypsies. She told me they were beating oddities in cages which caused me to immediately get out of bed. I was going to march right down there and tell them to leave. I quickly threw on some clothes, and grabbed my walking stick to support the braces I was wearing on my legs. Both Christine and Meg followed me where the gypsies were set up. It seemed that no body was around, but when I heard a man yelling and cursing from inside one of the tents I made my way straight there. My heart stopped as soon as I saw what was happening. There in front of my own very eyes was Jefro, standing in front of a cage where a small boy was being kept. In front of him, my daughter about to be whipped. How dare he! Before the whip could come crashing down over any part of Eudora, I quickly grabbed it out of his large hands. _

"_Don't you dare!" I shouted, cracking the whip upside his head. "That is my daughter!"_

_Jefro turned to me, his anger pouring from him._

"_Your daughter just clothed and fed my main attraction! How dare she!"_

_My daughter quickly ran to me, and hid behind my legs. Christine was now in the tent, and scooped Eudora into her arms. _

"_I want you to leave!" I ordered. "You have until sundown to be out of here."_

"_What? Why are we being ordered to leave?" _

_I motioned to the cage behind him._

"_You beat oddities do you not? It's going around. I don't tolerate such nonsense in my park."_

_Jefro turned around and looked at the small boy that was in the cage._

"_What?" he pointed to him. "That piece of shit? He is nothing…"_

"_He is a child. And if you're going to treat oddities like this, I want you to leave at once!"_

"_Erik! Don't leave Dimitri in that cage!" Eudora cried out. "Don't leave him here!"_

_I turned around to see Meg, Christine and Eudora standing there in shock. I quickly waved them out of the tent to be alone with Jefro._

"_Christine, go outside…."_

"_Erik…"_

"_Go…"_

_I waited until they were gone, before looking at the child. He reminded me of myself when I was his age. Scared and alone with no one to help me. He wasn't deformed, but I knew if he continued to be starved like he was, he wouldn't last. No child should have to be treated like that….Every child deserved a normal childhood, and I could give him just that. _

"_I want you to leave." I reminded the gypsy. "But you won't be leaving with the child."_

_The man laughed, and picked up his whip._

"_I don't know who you think you are, but I will be leaving with everything I came with, including my attraction."_

"_How much do you want for him?"_

"_Nothing! He is not for sale!"_

"_I don't think you know me, Monsieur, but I am a magician of sorts. I can make anything disappear if I truly want to, even myself…"_

"_Are you making threats?" he growled._

"_I'm going to tell you the truth, gypsy man. I'm either leaving here with that boy peacefully, or with a fight. But by God I swear to you that I will not be leaving this tent without him."_

_It was then that I took a step forward, causing Jefro to hit my mask with his whip. When this happened, it fell to the ground, leaving me exposed in front of him. The boy that was in the cage backed up in fear as Jefro smiled upon it as if he had found his new money maker. I ignored his expression, and fumbled around to place my mask back on. When he tried to crack the whip down on me again, I grabbed it from his hand, and tore it away. This had frightened him, finally giving me what I wanted._

"_Take the child…..I don't need him anyway."_

_He opened the cage, and tore the screaming child out of it. He was filthy, and wearing a shirt that was extremely big for him….but I recognized this shirt. It was covered in paint stains….This was my shirt! No wonder Eudora was in my room. I paid no mind to the gypsy as I left the tent, the child slowly following me. But what was I to do with the child now? Perhaps find his family? Give him a place to stay in my stables? I wasn't sure, but the first thing that needed to be done was to give him a bath. When I came outside from the tent, Christine gasped at the child following behind me. _

"_Erik…."_

_I put up my hand to stop her._

"_Come, let's go home. We'll talk then."_

_At some point on the way back to the flat, Meg departed, leaving the four of us. Eudora stayed behind us with the boy, coaxing him to keep following us as if he were a stray dog. Once home, I opened the door, and turned around to have another look at the filthy boy….._

"_Do you know how to bathe?" I sternly asked him._

_He just looked up at me, his blue eyes being the only visible thing on him due to the dirt that covered his entire body. _

"_He doesn't know how to do anything." Eudora answered. _

_I sighed, and turned to Christine who was standing there behind me._

"_Christine, take this boy into the bathroom and clean him. He smells awful."_

"_Erik, please…."_

"_Don't argue with me, woman. Please do as I ask and clean him."_

_Christine only nodded, and gently coaxed the boy to follow her. When Eudora tried to follow, I called out to her to stay._

"_But Erik…"_

"_But nothing. It's highly inappropriate to watch your mother bathing him."_

_I took a seat at my piano, and began hitting a few notes to calm my mind. Soon, Eudora was at my side, hitting the same notes._

"_What's going to happen to Dimitri?"_

"_Di… who?" _

"_That's his name. His name is Dimitri."_

"_Eudora, I'm very upset with you for going off on your own like you did today. You could have been hurt. Also, I wouldn't get attached to the boy, because we're not keeping him."_

"_But why?"_

"_Because he is not ours to keep."_

"_What will you do with him?"_

_I shrugged my shoulders. What was I going to do with him?_

"_Don't worry about it."_

_For a while I sat there with Eudora until Christine came walking out with the boy at her side. He was wearing one of my shirts due to the fact that we had nothing else for him to wear. I didn't have a son which was why I didn't have any clothes to fit him. He had blonde hair, like me…..or at least I used to have blonde hair. Now that he was clean, I could see every detail about him. It was strange….it was like I was looking at myself, a reflection of my childhood. _

_Christine sat a bowl of oatmeal down in front of him at the kitchen table, before walking out to the main room to join me. As soon as Eudora saw the boy, she went to sit beside him, watching him slowly eat his meal. _

"_What are we going to do with him, Erik?" Christine asked me, keeping her voice down so that neither he or Eudora could hear her._

"_I'm not sure. The orphanage probably…"_

_Christine gently yanked at my arm._

"_Erik, how could you think to do such a thing?"_

"_Christine he is not our child. He is not some kind of puppy you bring home and keep as a pet. He is a human being, one that will most likely have more psychological problems than one will know what to do with."_

"_Erik, the boy has been locked away probably his entire life. He deserves a childhood. Sending him to an orphanage will do him no good. He needs a family's love."_

_I crossed my arms, and looked at her with a serious face. I knew what she was up to…._

"_You want to keep the brat don't you? You actually think we're going to keep him."_

"_Yes, and why not? We have enough money to feed one more mouth….ten more mouths actually."_

"_So is that what this is? I can't believe you would actually expect us to keep him."_

"_Erik…"_

_I pulled Christine into the other room, and closed the door. Eudora nor the boy needed to hear any of this._

"_Christine we cannot trust this child, and put our daughter in danger. He is unstable and after being beaten and starved his entire life, I cannot say that he wouldn't hurt a single soul."_

"_You turned out alright, Erik."_

"_No, No I did not! I killed, Christine, I murdered people…..We cannot keep this boy."_

_Christine kissed my lips, and embraced my masked cheek._

"_Erik, he doesn't even know right from wrong. He's innocent, and as long as he has someone to teach and love him, he'll be fine. Besides, you two could comfort one another….You both have been through a lot and could relate to each other."_

_I nodded._

"_And I promise if he causes a problem I'll take him to the orphanage myself…." Christine promised. _

_I hated the idea of this child staying with us, but I distracted that thought with my music. For the next few hours, I sat at my piano, playing melodies as Christine and Eudora took the boy into town for clothes. What Christine had said to me earlier stuck to me…. "We have enough money to feed one more mouth….ten more mouths actually." Had Christine wanted more children? Had it been my fault that we only had Eudora? This upset me…..I was still working on marrying Christine, and I had yet to complete that task. _

_That night after Christine returned, she set up the couch for the boy to sleep on before tucking in Eudora. The child had not said two words since he arrived, and I knew it was because he was still scared. When Madame Giry saved me, I didn't begin talking until six months later. I always dreaded each day, thinking I would be taken back to the gypsies at any time._

_After dressing into my pajamas, I took a seat at my desk, and began writing my music. _

"_Erik, it's late, come to bed."_

_I turned to see Christine crawling into bed. _

"_A little later."_

_I turned back to my work, and began writing again, only to feel her hands massaging my shoulders. They were so sore, and the feeling of her hands against them was quite pleasurable._

"_Not working tonight?" she surprisingly asked._

"_Not tonight. I wouldn't dare leaving you here alone with that boy…."_

"_Erik, he has a name you know. It's Dimitri."_

"_And did he tell you this?"_

"_No, Eudora told me. Why are you being so cruel?"_

"_I'm not…." I paused, enjoying the feeling of her hands against my shoulders. "I'm just exhausted."_

"_Well then why are you sitting here? You should come to bed." Christine giggled._

"_I've….I've got things on my mind."_

"_Things?" she laughed. "Erik, come tell me about them…in bed."_

_She pulled me, and I followed her until we were both curled up within our bed. The feeling and warmth of her body against mine felt completely wonderful. So wonderful that I forgot about everything I was thinking about. _

"_Erik, now tell me what's wrong."_

_I opened my eyes the moment I felt her fingers pulling away my mask. She loved laying there touching my bare face, and I loved it just as much. _

"_Are you upset with me?"_

"_What do you mean? Why would I be upset with you?"_

_I rolled over to my back, and sighed heavily. _

"_Are you upset that we only have Eudora?"_

"_Why would I be upset about that?"_

"_You….You said something today, something that upset me."_

_This shocked Christine, for she passionately cupped my cheek, and looked into my Mitch matched eyes._

"_Erik, tell me….God, I never mean to say anything that would upset you."_

"_Today, you said…..you said we could afford to feed ten more mouths. Are you upset that we don't have more children? Is that what you want, Christine?"_

"_Erik, how could you think that? I'm happy with just Eudora….Though, more children would be nice, but….."_

_She silenced herself the moment she heard herself speak. _

"_So you are upset." I pressed my eyes shut, feeling the guilt of all this hitting my heart. _

"_No, no, never…."_

"_If Christine wants more children then her Erik will give her more."_

"_Erik, I'm happy the way things are. Really…. Besides, we have Dimitri now."_

"_I will only stop if you say you're happy."_

"_And I am." she assured. "I am extremely happy."_

_She pressed a kiss to my lips, and snuggled into my chest._

"_I'm even happier now that you're sleeping with me tonight."_

"_Me too, Christine….me too…"_

_And with that, we closed our eyes and fell asleep. _

**Eudora's POV**

_I wasn't tired. For some reason, I was laying there awake with my dolls. Usually after my mother put me to bed, I fell asleep rather quickly. Tonight however, I was awake… It was then that a knock occurred at my door….the lightest knock I had ever heard. Curious, I got out of bed and opened the door to see Dimitri standing there in his nightshirt, his blonde locks disheveled all throughout his head. _

"_What's wrong?"_

_He didn't answer me, and just stood there looking at me with an expression filled with fear. _

"_Did you have a nightmare?"_

_He nodded, and I let him in._

"_I used to have them all the time, Dimitri." I said walking over to my bed. "But nightmares can't hurt you. They're only pictures…..well, that's what my papa says anyway…Just don't ever tell him that I called him that."_

_Dimitri was wandering around my room, looking at all the doll houses I had scattered about. He ran his fingers over them, curious about what they were._

"_They're doll houses." I told him. "For my dolls. They live in them."_

_I jumped off my bed, and approached my shelf where I had a pink music box sitting. I opened it up, causing Dimitri to come walking over. Inside was a hand carved ballerina that Erik made for me. As Dimitri's fingers wandered over the box, it began playing a happy tune causing the ballerina to spin around. This frightened him, for he ran over to my bed to hide._

"_Dimitri, it's a music box. It won't hurt you…."_

"_Music….?" he repeated._

_Hearing his soft voice was strange, but I liked the sound of it. _

"_Yes, music." _

_I closed the box, and wandered back to my bed where I had a shelf full of stuffed animals hung on the wall beside it. When I saw Dimitri staring up at them, I smiled and reached for my favorite stuffed bear. _

"_This is Mr. Cuddles, my favorite bear. He used to sleep with me, that was until Erik bought me Lilly."_

_I handed it to him, and watched as he hugged its softness to his chest. _

"_You like him?"_

_Dimitri nodded, and continued hugging my bear._

"_Well, if you promise to take good care of him I'll let you borrow him….You can be his Papa."_

_I yawned, and felt myself fading fast. _

"_It's late Dimitri, I think we should go to sleep now."_

_Even with Mr. Cuddles in his arms, Dimitri still looked frightened. _

"_Are you still scared?"_

"_A little…." was his quiet reply._

"_Well, when I can't sleep, my papa…I mean, Erik always reads me a bedtime story. Did your mother or papa ever read you a story?"_

_He shook his head, and I reached for one of my picture books._

"_Well, I'll read to you."_

_I opened the book that had pictures of rabbits all over it, and turned to the first page and pointed to the picture of a brown bunny dressed in a blue sweater. _

"_This bunny is named peter rabbit."_

"_I never seen a bunny wearing a sweater…" Dimitri stated._

"_That's the great thing about picture books. Things don't have to make sense. Erik always says you're supposed to use your imagination. So in this story animals wear clothes."_

_I flipped to the next page. _

"_Peter's mother always reminds him not to go into Mr. McGregor's garden because Peter's papa was baked into a pie by Mister McGregor himself…"_

_I flipped to the next page where there were more bunnies dressed in sweaters._

"_Who are they?" Dimitri asked._

"_Oh, his sisters Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail. Peter brags to them about how he goes into Mr. McGregor's garden."_

_I turned to the next page where Peter was eating vegetables that were in Mr. McGregor's garden._

"_What is he doing?" _

"_Eating food from Mr. McGregor's garden…."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because he's fat…."_

_The next page had Peter being chased by Mr. McGregor._

"_He gets chased, loses his shoes and finds a way out of the garden. He promises his mother never to go into the garden again, and gets put into bed after drinking tea."_

"_Really?"_

_I closed the book, and placed it back on the shelf._

"_Well, that's what my mother says anyway. I don't like it much when my papa reads this one to me. He tells it a little differently….."_

"_How?"_

"_He tells me that Mr. McGregor catches Peter and makes soup out of him. I just roll my eyes and giggle….I know it's not true."_

"_You promise?"_

_I nodded._

"_Yea, that's the other advantage with picture books. There's always a happy ending. I'm going to bed now. I think you should do the same too."_

"_I'm scared….."_

"_I guess you could sleep in here on the floor."_

_I threw him a pillow, and an extra blanket. Dimitri laid down, and hugged my bear close to him. _

"_Goodnight Dimitri…."_

_That night, I slept, only waking when the sun came shining in through my window. I stretched, and quickly dressed. _

"_Wake up, Dimitri!"_

_I playfully pounced on him, causing him to flinch._

"_Oh…I'm sorry." I said, backing off. "I forgot…"_

_He sat up, and I pointed out the window._

"_Come on, let's go have some fun."_

_I left my room, coming back with a pair of black shorts and a white shirt that my mother had bought him. Like the day before, Dimitri didn't know how to dress himself, and so I helped him. Once he was dressed, I quietly pulled him out of the flat so I wouldn't disturb my parents. When we were outside, I looked ahead, and smiled._

"_Race you to the arcade…"_

_I never had a friend before, and having Dimitri here with me now was better than having ten friends. We raced neck and neck past the crowds of people who were walking along the Phantasma boardwalk. _

"_Come on, I'll teach you how to play skeeball…"_

"_Skee?"_

"_Skeeball…"_

_Once inside the arcade, I approached the counter to get my tokens. I handed him one, only to watch him place the gold coin into his mouth._

"_No!" I gasped. "That's not food…"_

_He spit it out, and I pulled him over to the skeeball machine. I placed a token into the slot, and the balls came rolling out in a row._

"_See…." I said pointing to the balls. "That's what it does."_

_I picked up one of the brown balls, and tossed it up the ramp…._

"_See…You have to get them into one of the numbered slots. The higher the number the more tickets you get."_

"_Tickets?"_

_I nodded, and tore off the five tickets that came out of the slot._

"_Yes, you get a whole bunch of tickets and then turn them in for a prize at the front counter."_

"_Prize? What's that?"_

"_Oh, lots of things. Stuffed animals, candy, balloons….Phantasma trinkets….anything really."_

_I handed him a ball, and stood behind him, moving his arm in the motion you throw the ball in. _

"_Toss it just like this…."_

_Dimitri did, but the ball came rolling back._

"_Harder."_

_He did, and this time his ball landed in the highest slot. _

"_Wow, that's really good."_

_I tore off his tickets, and handed them to him._

"_Lets go play another game!"_

_The day was turning out so perfect….and for the first time in my entire life, I had a friend….a real friend…._

**Erik's POV**

_I awoke the following morning wrapped within Christine's embrace. It felt wonderful to feel her beside me after so many nights of working instead of being home in bed with her. I unwrapped myself from her gently so I wouldn't disturb my angel and placed on my braces before heading to the bathroom. Afterwards, I walked out into the hallway only to spot Eudora's room door wide open. _

"_Eudora?" I softly called her name, hoping she would answer me. "I'm going to be making breakfast. Is there anything in particular that you would like?"_

_She didn't answer, and when I approached the doorway and saw that she was gone, I rushed out into the family room to find the boy's spot empty as well….I didn't trust him! What if he kidnapped my daughter! _

"_Erik? Is everything ok?"_

_Once more I turned and Christine was standing there rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. _

"_Eudora's gone!" I growled. "Her and the boy!"_

"_Eudora always sneaks out, Erik. She probably took Dimitri out around Phantasma."_

"_No, Christine! I don't trust this boy! Not for one moment. I'm going to find them both!"_

_I tried heading to the door, but Christine grabbed me by the arm._

"_Erik, what's gotten into you? She's probably perfectly fine. The boy is just a child….."_

"_And why is it that you always trust people, Christine! Why!"_

_I was shouting, but I didn't know why. Yes, Christine could be right…Eudora could be just should the boy around, but then again, my assumption could be correct as well…What if the boy really kidnapped her?_

"_I trusted you, didn't I?" she pouted. _

"_I'm going to find them, Christine, and when I do I swear to you that boy is….."_

"_Is what? That's exactly right, Erik….he's a boy….Go…Go if you must."_

_Now Christine was angry. I knew I should have stayed, I knew I should have trusted Christine's instinct, but…..I was so stubborn. _

"_Fine…I will…"_

_And with that I left, never knowing that this would be the last time I ever saw her again….If I wasn't so busy being a monster I would have kissed her….God! I didn't even kiss my love goodbye! I was indeed a true monster….._

* * *

**Ok everyone please review if you want more! Haha…**


	51. Chapter 51

"_You walked into my life_

_And just like that you walked back out_

_Still you will be a memory_

_A memory that I have created in my mind_

_Still you will be a memory_

_A memory that will always be locked_

_Away in my heart and in my mind_

_I will always have a memory of you in my heart_

_And I will always carry a picture of you in my mind_

_Still you will be a memory…_"-Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_I was out, walking around Phantasma hoping to find Eudora and the boy. My blood boiled at the thought of my daughter being kidnapped by the boy! How dare he! I cut through an alley hoping to stay out of everyone's sight, but I began to smell smoke. I thought it to be one of Mr. Squelch's fire acts, until I heard people screaming. I ran as fast as I could out of the alley, and saw the most horrible sight I had seen in over ten years. My park! My world was on fire! Thousands of people were running towards the exit to escape, as my workers tried to extinguish the flames. The worst of the flames were coming from my Maze of Mirrors….Hell, I could rebuild the damn thing, that wasn't the problem, the problem was that my daughter and the boy were still out there! _

"_Sir!" I heard Mr. Squelch's voice, but the smoke was so thick that I couldn't see him. _

"_Sir!"_

"_I'm right here!" I shouted back. _

_Mr. Squelch appeared out of the smoke carrying a bucket full of water. _

"_Sir, your daughter!"_

"_What about her?" I panicked._

"_Before the fire started I saw her run into the maze with a boy…"_

_No! no….This couldn't be happening!_

"_Did she ever come out?" I grabbed Mr. Squelch by his shirt. _

"_No, sir….She's still inside."_

_I didn't even care about my own safety. I ran right to the burning maze and entered the flaming building. The smoke was so thick, that I couldn't see a single part of the maze. I coughed heavily, and shouted out my daughter's name hoping she would answer me. _

"_Eudora!"_

"_Erik!" it was my daughter, she was crying and seemed so far away. _

"_Where are you?"_

"_I don't know….in front of a mirror that makes your body all fat."_

_I knew that mirror, there was only one like it._

"_I'm coming for you! Stay where you are!"_

_But before I could move, something hard hit me in the back of the skull and I fell to my knees, immediately blacking out…._

_I wasn't sure how long I was out, but when I came to, a familiar nightmare from long ago began playing out before my own very eyes. My vision was blurred, but I could feel hay poking into my body, and a terrible, musty smell fermenting around me. When my vision cleared, I was staring up at some sort of wooden ceiling….When I turned my head, there were metal bars! I gasped, and sat up, noticing that I was indeed trapped within a cage. When I looked at my body and arms, my shirt was missing, and my leg was shackled to one of the bars so I couldn't escape. I lifted my hand to my face, only to realize that my mask was still in place. Knowing this was like having a huge weight lifted from off my shoulders. But where was Phantasma? Where was Coney Island? I didn't see anything familiar to me….nothing at all! There were woods, trees, and a few horses….Where was I?_

"_Ah, I see you've awaken."_

_I turned and looked through the bars, noticing Jefro stepping towards the cage. That bastard! I knew he was behind this! He saw my face! He wanted me! And now, he was going to keep me as his prize. _

"_What is this!" I yelled. "Let me go!"_

_Jefro rattled the bars with his whip, and smiled devilishly._

"_No, you're mine now….You're going to make me big money, monster."_

"_I have a wife…..and a child! I run Phantasma!"_

"_None of that matters now…." he growled._

"_They'll be looking for me….You'll be arrested!"_

"_I don't think so….You're dead…..and as for your park….it's a pile of ash now."_

_My face turned pale. My daughter! Was she still alive?_

"_Oh, did I let the kitty out of the bag?" he laughed. "That's right. You're dead. I set a section of your park on fire and placed your shirt at the scene of the crime. You're dead, Mister E…..and this…." he motioned to the horses and caravans scattered about. "is your new life."_

_Christine! She would be worried about me! She couldn't think me to be dead! No! I wasn't dead! I was alive! Alive!_

"_You bastard!"_

_I tried to reach through the bars, but my shackle wasn't long enough to do so. Then I noticed it….my braces were gone! I couldn't walk without them, only stand in place. _

"_Where are my braces?" I asked in a panic. "I can't walk without them."_

_Out of no where, Jefro pulled them from behind his back and rattled the bars with them._

"_These things? You won't be needing these anymore. I think I'll turn them into silver bullets."_

_He threw them aside, and turned to me once again._

"_Now, take off your mask."_

_I shook my head, and backed up against the bars._

"_Take off your god damn mask! Don't make me do it for you!"_

_Still, I didn't listen to him. _

"_Last chance, monster, take off your mask!"_

_I wouldn't. I wouldn't take off my mask and become the attraction I once was. _

"_Fine…" he growled. "Have it your way…"_

_He snapped his fingers, and a large gypsy came walking over to my cage. _

"_Yes, master?" _

"_Get in there and take off the monster's mask for me…"_

"_Sure thing…"_

_I scrambled to my feet, and stood there, watching the man entering my cage. He stood at least two feet taller than me, with tattoos covering his entire body and muscles. _

"_Now let's not make this any harder than what it is."_

_It's been years, perhaps even decades since I last had to defend myself. I couldn't walk, and one movement would cause me to fall on my face, but I wasn't about to let this bastard have my mask. _

_He reached for my mask, but I pushed him away. He hit the bars, and growled in anger as Jefro coaxed him not to give up._

"_Get the mask!"_

_This time, the man charged towards me, his hands outstretched towards my neck. Christine had turned me from monster into man, and now I was being transformed back into the monster I was born as. Seeing this man coming towards me was the spark my body needed to change me back. I remembered everything….how to defend myself and how to kill. He didn't even get his hands around me, for my hands wrapped around his neck in one swift motion, and snapped it. The man fell to the cage floor, dead as a doornail and Jefro's eyes widened. Everything had slowed down, leaving me staring at my newly bloodstained hands. _

"_I….I'm sorry…." I cried, dropping to my knees. "I didn't mean to….I…I…."_

"_You're brilliant!" Jefro cried. "And I thought you were good for nothing but that hideous face of yours. I've never seen anything like that!"_

"_T…Take my mask…." I cried, peeling it off my face._

"_Keep it. Keep your mask! You're not going to be showing your face…."_

"_What?"_

"_You're the killing machine. People would pay big bucks to see a monster battle others. Yes! It's brilliant!"_

_No! I wouldn't, I wouldn't kill! But the decision was already made. How I tried over and over again to pinch myself, hoping I would wake up in my bed and be back with my Christine, but this…..this was no dream. History was indeed repeating itself. My living conditions were worse than when I was a child. I was kept in my cage all the time, with little food and little water. Jefro had not bothered me since I killed the man he sent into my cage. For years my weak stomach had settled, but now that I was traveling again, I found myself throwing up all hours of the day. When I was a child and threw up, my master used to whip me, but Jefro was different, he didn't whip me, just made me lay in it. _

_I wasn't sure where we were headed, but all I knew was that Coney Island was getting farther and farther away. I missed Christine, my daughter, even Phantasma. But my nightmare was just beginning. We arrived some days later in a town that wasn't familiar to me. Jefro set up, and that night, a homeless man was brought to my cage. Jefro had promised him half my earnings if he could beat me. I didn't want to kill. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I had no choice. It was either kill or be killed. I tried to defend myself in the most harmless of ways, but my opponent came towards me with a "aim to kill" move. I didn't want to be killed, and so I killed….._

_I wasn't sure how many I had killed in the first week. Ten? Twenty? Jefro found big bucks offering money to those who believed they could kill me. I just had to stand still, and let my hands do all the work. Thinking about Christine had kept me sane for a while. I thought about her every moment of every day, only hoping I would wake up and see her sitting beside me. But how long can one possibly go on killing without losing their mind? It seemed like a century of begging Jefro to let me go, but he never did. He only told me to shut up or else he would punish me. _

_And yet, my punishment came anyway. It was after a long night of killing. How many had I killed? How much blood had I spilt? I counted everyday I was locked in that cage, but when I lost my mind, I also lost count on the days, the weeks….and the months. I lay there that night, looking up at my ceiling, not remembering my name, but rather the torture I had brought upon the men who dared to challenge me. My legs were sore, because I had not walked in what seemed like years…Did I even remember how to walk anymore? It was then that the door to my cage was opened, and Jefro came walking in accompanied by two other gypsies. _

"_How's my monster doing?" he purred. _

_I didn't answer him, only cuddled the filthy hay to my chest. _

"_Awww…you seem sad. I think you need cheering up, and I know just how to do it."_

_The two gypsies pinned me down on my stomach so I couldn't move. Jefro then moved behind me, and I heard him lowering his trousers…_

"_Don't do this!" I screamed. "Don't…"_

"_Shut up!" he growled. "You're going to be quiet and enjoy this…"_

_No! this couldn't happen to me! I wouldn't let it! I tried to fight off the two men that were holding onto me, but their grip was so tight that I couldn't move. When my trousers were pulled down, I screamed, hoping that perhaps Christine would hear me and come to my rescue, but that never happened. Jefro raped me, just like my master did when I was a boy…..What ever sanity I had left, was hanging on by the skin of its teeth, but this was far too much…..I lost it! I completely lost it! I no longer knew my name, or of my family….I was nothing more than a killing machine. Jefro left me that night, sore and bleeding. But this wasn't the only time I would endure such pain. He came to me more often, always accompanied by two gypsies each time to hold me down. _

_During my shows, I used to try and find ways not to harm my opponent, but after I lost my mind, I no longer cared. I turned myself into killing who ever touched me. That feeling of a hand on my shoulder would turn me and my own hands would snap their neck before they could move or hurt me any further. _

_I lost all track of time, with only knowing one thing and one thing only; killing. We traveled by day, and I killed by night, never losing a single battle. The winter snow came and went ten times over again. How many months had passed? How many years? My memory was lost, leaving me as a body and nothing more. There was no soul, there was no feelings….Jefro was running me like a robot. What ever he ordered me to do, I did, what ever he wanted done was done. He called me his "Little monster," and that's what I believed myself to be. I was his most valuable item, but soon that changed. I worked for him for what seemed like decades, killing everything in sight. But there came a day when I could no longer stand on my own. _

_Jefro had taken away my braces when he first kidnapped me. Without them, I could only stand, but now…now I couldn't even do that. When I refused to get to my feet one evening, he chained me to my cage wall in a standing position. When my opponent entered my cage that night, I was so weak that I couldn't even swing my arms. He had a knife in his hand, and after a few attempts, he stabbed me straight in the stomach. Jefro, who had been watching the entire thing, pulled the angry man out of my cage before he could finish me off. I would have dropped to my knees, but I was chained in the uncomfortable standing position. Blood flowed from my body, hitting the filthy hay at my feet. After I was unlocked by Jefor's gypsies, I dropped to the floor, and laid there the entire night, clutching my stomach as I bled into the disgusting hay. _

_I was sure my life was going to end, but Jefro brought in a gypsy doctor to try and help me. When he began touching me, I snapped and tried to kill him as well, so Jefro had two of his gypsies hold me down. Maybe if he had brought a doctor sooner, I could have been healed, but Jefro was a cheap man, and therefore, he waited almost ten hours before bringing me help. By then, my wounds were so infected that the doctor could do nothing for me. He advised Jefro to take me to the hospital, but he would do no such thing. He told the doctor to bandage my wound and leave it at that. _

_For the first time since I could remember, I did not perform at night with the others. I was left alone in my cage, clutching my stomach, and waiting for death to arrive. I had a terrible fever, and my wound was only getting more infected as the moments went on. _

_Out around where the shows that were going on, was an amusement park, one that looked ever so familiar. I couldn't remember anything but killing, but I knew this place. I was cold, and my cage was in a dark corner where no one could see me. People were passing by a few feet from me, hundreds of people for all I knew. I was like a caged animal in the zoo, a wounded one, hoping for someone to come and save him. _

_But then, like in my dreams, I saw Christine. I had not thought about her in a long time, but out in the crowd, I swear I saw her. Brown curls, thinn body, elegant face… No, this had to be a mirage. _

"_Ch…Christine…" her name escaped my lips in a helpless whisper. _

_Jefro was instantly there to kick my cage and tell me to be quiet. But like fate, the woman turned and looked my way. It was her! I knew it was her! She was just as beautiful as I remembered her being, and she was coming towards me. Her steps were small at first, but became faster upon realizing who I was….._

"_Erik?"_

_I didn't know that name anymore. Who was Erik? I was a monster, not Erik. _

"_Erik….."_

_I felt her warm hands reach through the bars and touch my own, causing me to flinch. I pulled away and screamed as if she were trying to hurt me. I believed this to be a mirage, and nothing more, for I passed out. When I woke, I was surrounded by men dressed in white. They were tearing away my trousers, and my instincts immediately acted out. I fought them! I punched and swung my fists, fighting my way through everyone of them. One tried to calm me down, but I didn't….I was a killing machine and this was all I knew how to do. But soon, I felt a syringe prick my arm, and I quickly fell asleep. _

_When I woke again, I was laying in a bed. My body hurt like hell, and my stomach was on fire. Then there was that image of Christine again….She was sitting at my bedside with a look of amazement on her face. Her hand reached out to my own, and the warmth of it warmed my own hand. Feeling that touch caused me to flinch once more and pull away. _

"_Erik…..Sh…shhh… calm down."_

_Erik, Erik, that name…. Was that who I really was? Erik? All I remembered was being called "Little Monster."_

"_Erik, it's going to be ok." she had tears in her eyes. "You're going to be fine. I've never given up on you…..never…"_

_She tried to touch me again, but I only flinched and curled myself into a ball. _

"_What ever happened to you is all over now, Erik. You're coming home with me, and then I'm going to cure you…."_

"_Jefro…." I cried. _

"_Will harm you no more."_

_Christine was sobbing now, leaning over my body causing more fear to enter my heart. I clutched my fists, ready to hit her, but she didn't touch me…._

"_Erik, do you….do you remember me?"_

_I remembered her like a dream. I remembered what her kisses felt like, and I remembered that we were together and had a daughter, but that was it. _

"_Yes…."_

"_No you don't. You're acting strange, Erik…..It's ok…" her tears landed on my cheek._

"_I remember you…." I trembled. "I…remember that I loved you."_

_Christine couldn't hold back any longer, and wrapped her arms around me. I bit my lip to stop me from wanting to hit her and push her away…..I let her love me, and that familiar love returned into my heart. _

"_What's the last thing you remember, Erik?"_

_Her arms were still wrapped around me, as I tried to remember what I was doing right before all the gypsy nonsense started. Running? _

"_I…I was out….on my own."_

"_Yes, you were looking for our daughter."_

_Everything came rushing back to me. The boy, Eudora, the fire, the hit to the head! Everything!_

"_Where is she?" _

_Christine cupped my face, but I flinched away from her. _

"_Erik, she's perfectly fine. Dimitri and her were in the maze. A section of your park was set on fire, and….and your shirt was found by the dogs who were sent to sniff you out. I thought you were dead….For a year I've been mourning you….Oh, Erik…."_

_A year? That's all that I was gone? It felt longer…..like a decade, a decade of pure agony._

"_Please, don't touch me, Christine…..please…I'm frightened."_

"_Frightened of what?"_

"_That….that I'll hurt you…"_

_Her eyes looked into my own, desperate for answers._

"_What did he make you do, Erik? Tell me…."_

_Once again she was too close to me, and I finally pushed her away. _

"_Just leave me alone….please….My hands….they kill…kill for no reason. They'll kill you too…."_

"_Erik, please relax, your fever is very high….I…I won't touch you again, I swear." she took a seat beside my bed, and folded her hands into her lap. "Everything is going to be ok, Erik….they can't hurt you anymore."_

_But everything was not going to be ok. I was a killing machine…How was I ever going to cope around others again when the simplest touch set me off? I was dangerous, and anything but ok….But where was Jefro? Where was he? And was he still looking for me?_

* * *

**Ok, promise happy happy chapters to come. Please review!**


	52. Chapter 52

"_Breaking a habit is hardest of all_

_Day after day that habit will call_

_Until you spread your wings and fight_

_That urge which haunts you day and night."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_I'll never forget the scariest moment of my life. Erik and I had argued right before he went out looking for Eudora against my word. The next thing I knew, Mr. Squelch was at my door telling me that Eudora and Dimitri were being pulled from the Maze of Mirrors. My daughter and the boy were taken to the infirmary while the Phantasma dogs were sent out to find Erik. They sniffed out his shirt, which was a nothing but a charred piece of fabric laying in what was left of the Maze of Mirrors. For the first few days I mourned my lover's death, as if he had really died. But as the days went on, I refused to believe he was dead. _

_Every night I prayed for him to return to me, as if he had just stepped out and nothing more. I knew it would take more than a fire to bring Erik down, and so I refused to hear anything of his death. I took over watching Phantasma, and had the section of Erik's park rebuilt. When the fall arrived, Eudora and Dimitri started school, leaving me to do as I pleased during the day. Though, I missed Erik, and life didn't seem to fit without him. A year had passed, and still, he had not returned. As much as I hated the thought of believing his death, I finally began leaning towards the possibility. That was until the night a gypsy came arrived on the beach. Eudora had asked me to take her to the arcade, and I had done so. While her and Dimitri were busy playing Skeeball, I wandered to the beach. And then….I saw him! He was laying in a filthy cage, bleeding and on death's door! That gypsy bastard was there and refused to let him go…I brought back the authorities, and as soon as they saw their Mister E laying in that cage, the gypsy was forced to hand Erik over. _

_My love was afraid and flinched upon every single touch. I heard from the doctors that he even tried to attack them while they were trying to operate on his body. I was told he had a deep infection and that he'd be lucky if he ever walked again. For days, Erik laid in the hospital nearly on death's door while the press glorified his name in the paper, saying that he came back from the dead. It pained me to watch the doctor's keep him heavily sedated in order to prevent him from attacking anyone else. I wanted to kill that gypsy for destroying him like this! I didn't know what Erik was forced to do, but I knew it wasn't anything good. _

_I'll never forget the day Erik was able to return home. They loaded his sleeping body into an ambulance, and took us back to the flat. He was placed in his bed, and left me to care for him. I closed the door to let him rest, and that's when Eudora came through the door with Dimitri at her side. _

"_Mother, I saw an ambulance pulling away outside…" she stated pointing to the window. "Is Erik home?"_

_I nodded, and pulled the both of them into the other room to have a talk. _

"_Eudora, I think it's best if we keep our distance from Erik. Just until he's used to us again."_

"_Why?" Eudora's brow knitted in confusion. "What's wrong with him?"_

"_He's still frightened, and someone in his state would be. I just think it's best if we take our time with him, and not rush him back into his old life."_

_Dimitri hardly talked, but once in a while he would respond to Eudora._

"_Your mother is right." he said. "I know how your papa feels."_

_Eudora nudged him in the shoulder._

"_I told you not to call him that."_

"_And don't touch him." I warned. "No telling what he's capable of."_

"_Yes mother."_

"_Now do your homework….the both of you."_

_They both nodded, and I rose to make Erik lunch. I wasn't sure what he had eaten in the last year, but I made him his favorite meal. Afterwards, I carried it to our room where I walked in to find him laying there, pale and looking out the window. _

"_Erik?"_

_He didn't look my way or respond to me at all. _

"_I brought you something to eat. Shredded pork and kraut. It's your favorite."_

_Still no answer. He was just laying there, staring out the window. _

_I placed the tray down on the night table, and slowly reached out to touch his shoulder. When my finger landed on his shirt, he immediately came out of what ever trance he was in and curled himself into a ball. _

"_Shhh…Erik, it's ok, it's just me."_

_His eyes looked up at me, and he sighed in relief._

"_I'm not….I'm not hungry."_

"_Please eat for me." I begged. "Just a few spoonfuls."_

"_I'll….I'll think about it. Maybe later…"_

"_Could I sit down next to you for a moment?"_

_He hesitated, but moved to the other end of the bed so I could sit. _

"_Do you want to talk about it yet?"_

_He shook his head. _

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I'm…I'm afraid."_

"_Of what? You're safe now."_

"_Of being found…by him…"_

"_No one is going to find you, Erik…. You're safe, I promise."_

_I then reached out my hand towards his forehead to feel how high his fever was, but he backed away. _

"_Erik, it's just my hand. I won't hurt you, remember?"_

_He cautiously nodded, and let my hand make contact with his forehead, but when it did, his hand violently snatched my wrist. _

"_Erik…." _

"_Sorry….." his grip loosened. "It's….it's a natural reaction…."_

"_I know, mon ange….But it's just me….just Christine, your Christine."_

_He pressed his eyes shut, and I removed my hand._

"_Your fever is still very high, Erik. Get some rest now…."_

"_I don't want to sleep anymore. When I sleep, I see him….I see what I've done…"_

"_I'll stay if you'd like." I offered._

"_Your Erik….would like that."_

_I reached over on Erik's desk for a file of documents I had been filing out over the past year while Erik was gone. I held them close to my chest, and turned to my love who was laying there staring up at the ceiling._

"_Erik, if you're not going to sleep, then would you like to know what's been happening in Phantasma while you were gone?"_

_He looked at me as if he didn't know what Phantasma was, before looking back up at the ceiling. _

"_There's been a few rides added, along with some shows and…."_

"_I don't want to talk about Phantasma right now." he murmured. "I just want to rest."_

"_But Phantasma is your life, Erik. Now that you're home, I figure there's no reason to continue running it like I've been."_

"_I said I didn't want to talk about Phantasma, Christine."_

_I placed the files aside, and fixed the blankets that were covered over Erik. _

"_Erik, I think the only way to cure you is to go on with your daily routines. Not right now, of course, but when you're feeling better. I ordered you a new pair of braces and as soon as they get here I'll help you walk again."_

"_I can't even stand, Christine…" he growled. "How am I supposed to bloody walk!"_

"_Erik, I'm going to leave you for a while." I told him. "Just rest and when you're feeling better, I'll come back."_

"_Don't you get it, woman! I'm never going to feel better! Never!"_

_Erik was sobbing now….sobbing into his hands. What had that bastard done to him? How badly I wanted to hold him in my arms, but I knew better than to do so. I felt completely helpless as I sat there watching him, but what could I do? _

"_Erik, tell me what to do, tell me how to help you?"_

"_Just leave me for a while…."_

_And that's exactly what I did….._

_**Eudora's POV**_

_After lunch, my mother returned to the kitchen. She seemed sad, especially in the way she was standing there washing the dishes with a frown upon her face. I knew it was about Erik…It had been a year since I've last seen him. Dimitri and I were pulled from those flames, but not by Erik. When we were told he was dead, I blamed myself for it…. He had come into the fire to save us, and yet, if not for us being in the maze, Erik would have still been alive. But knowing he was alright, took that burden off my shoulders. I snuck past my mother, and quietly opened Erik's bedroom door. He was sitting up in bed, looking out the window, as tears glazed his flawless cheek. _

"_Erik?" I softly called his name, and his eyes looked my way. _

_He didn't smile, nor did he even say anything….Something was indeed wrong with him._

"_Erik, can I come in?"_

_He nodded, and I closed the door behind me. _

"_Y…You've grown." were his soft, sad words._

_I lightly smiled._

"_Yes, but not that much."_

"_Your hair's gotten longer too…"_

_My finger wrapped around a dark ebony lock._

"_Mother said she would braid my hair if I let it grow, so I did…" _

"_It looks…..pretty."_

"_Erik? Why did you come in the burning Maze to save me?" I quietly questioned._

"_You're….you're my flesh and blood…. It was only right."_

"_I'm sorry if I've been a pain to you these past few years. I thought you hated me, and….when I found out you lied about being my uncle, it hurt. And to tell the truth, I hated the idea of you being my father. But when you were gone, I realized just how much I missed you, and would be nicer to you if only to have you back…."_

"_Y…You did nothing wrong, Eudora. It's natural to hate someone like me."_

"_But I don't….I realized that I don't hate you."_

_Erik was completely speechless, and I believed it to be the perfect moment to hug him. Without thinking, I ran over to his bed, and jumped into his arms, expecting him to hug me back, but he didn't. He screamed, and threw me off the bed. It wasn't a powerful throw, just one hard enough to send me falling back first onto the floor. I scrambled away, and looked up at the bed to see my father sobbing and rocking himself back and forth with his arms wrapped around his body. My mother had heard the scream, and came rushing in to see me laying on the floor and my father hysterically sobbing._

"_Eudora….what are you doing?"_

"_I…I hurt her, didn't I? I hurt her…." Erik cried._

_I got to my feet, and backed up towards the door._

"_No, you didn't…I'm fine…" I assured. "Really…"_

_I couldn't bear to be in the room any longer, and ran out. I didn't see Erik for the remainder of the day. I actually kept to myself, trying to put aside what happened by playing with my dolls. Yes, Erik was home, but things were different…Even my own mother slept out on the couch that night and not in bed with Erik. _

_The next day at school, I wasn't myself. I sat there at my desk, looking down at my English book, not even paying attention to my teacher "Mrs. Green" going on about the alphabet. No, I was too preoccupied with thinking about Erik and what had happened between us. When my class broke for lunch, I sat outside at a table by myself, until Dimitri sat down._

"_Is everything ok, Eudora?" he asked. "You didn't seem to be paying attention in class."_

"_I'm fine." I assured._

"_No you're not. You've been different ever since your papa came home."_

"_I told you not to call him that." I whined, picking at my peanut butter sandwich that mother had packed me. _

"_It's true, and you know it."_

"_Erik's changed. I went into his bedroom to apologize to him, I even hugged him, hoping he would do the same, but….but he threw me off the bed and screamed."_

"_It's not you, Eudora. He's been through a bad experience just like me. I still have flashbacks of all the horrible things that were done to me." _

"_I was going to call him papa, but, now it doesn't seem right."_

"_He'll come around. I did…."_

"_You still don't talk to anyone but me. My mother sometimes…."_

"_I don't like people that much." he confessed. "Just you…."_

_Dimitri didn't speak in class, though his grades were one of the highest. He was a fast learner, and we both did our homework together…._

"_Do you want to go to the arcade after school?" he asked. "I almost have enough tickets to win the pop up book we've been eyeing for months. I'm sure if we played ten more games we could get it today."_

"_No, I'm not really in the mood. I think I'm just going to go home and try to talk to Erik again."_

"_Eudora, he needs time alone. You going in there will nothing but cause a scene again. Besides, I really want to get my hands on that pop up book. It's got dragons and knights….pirates and all sorts of stuff."_

"_I'm not changing my mind, Dimitri."_

"_Eudora, someone's going to get to that book before us. We've almost got enough tickets."_

"_Then you go and play." I told him. "I'm going home."_

"_But it's not fun without you…"_

"_Then come with me to see Erik and then I'll go to the arcade."_

"_Your papa hates me."_

_He was right. It was better to do this alone._

"_Alright, look, go to the arcade after school, and I'll meet you there…"_

"_Eudora…"_

"_No, I'm not budging."_

_Dimitri sighed, and stood up._

"_Fine, I'll see you then."_

_**Christine's POV**_

_Erik had spent most of the day sleeping. I was relieved to find him that way, and found myself cleaning the flat as not to disturb him. I spent the night before on the couch, too afraid of what would happen if I accidentally bumped into him during the night. The couch hadn't been the most comfortable night's sleep, but I wasn't tired anyway. I was more anxious to be up and about, hoping to cure him of his ways. I don't know why I suddenly noticed it today, but when I reached up to scratch my neck, I felt the necklace Erik had given to me, the one that held the beautiful engagement ring….._

_Did he still want to marry me? He had promised to, but now that he was a nervous mess, I wasn't sure what was real anymore. _

"_Christine?"_

_I heard my name being called, which pulled me from my day dream. I placed down the feather duster I had been cleaning with, and hurried to our bedroom. _

"_Yes?" I poked my head inside the room to find my Erik laying in bed. He was extremely pale, and the sweat was pouring down his face. _

"_Could I perhaps have a cup of water?"_

"_Of course." I didn't waste anytime in picking up the empty glass he had sitting on his night table, and hurried to the kitchen to fill it up. When I returned, I handed it to him, and watched as he hungrily drank every last drop of it. _

"_Is something wrong?" I asked. "You're sweating."_

"_I'm fine. I just feel terrible about what I did last night."_

"_What did you do?"_

"_Two things. First I threw our daughter off the bed, and then my violent ways turned you to the couch for sleep."_

"_Erik, it's not your fault."_

_I took a seat beside him, and reached out for his hand that was placed on top of the blankets. When my hand intertwined itself with his, he nervously shuddered._

"_It's just me, Erik. I've missed you so much."_

"_Would you lay with me?"_

"_Are you sure?"_

_When he nodded, I laid down beside him, and took his hand in my own. I kissed every one of his fingers before placing his hand over my beating heart. By the way his hand trembled, I knew he was having a hard time controlling his violent ways. _

"_You…You shouldn't let me be doing this to you." he warned._

"_Erik, I know you would never hurt me."_

"_But I almost did….I almost hurt you and Eudora."_

"_But you didn't."_

_Erik closed his eyes, and I cupped his masked cheek. _

"_Kiss me." I begged. "Kiss me, Erik."_

_And he did just that. He was trembling as he did so, but that kiss was something I've wanted ever since the day he left. _

_When our kiss broke, a small knock occurred at the door. We looked over to see Eudora standing there, waiting for permission to enter. _

"_Eudora?" _

"_Mother, may I….that is…may I come in?"_

"_Of course." I replied._

_Our daughter stepped into the room, and stopped at the side of the bed, afraid to walk any further. _

"_Eudora, I'm….I'm sorry." Erik began. "I didn't mean to throw you off the bed like I did. If you wish to be mad at me, I'd completely understand."_

"_I'm not mad. I actually came in here last night to apologize to you for being a pain. I shouldn't have hugged you, but….but it felt like the right thing to do."_

"_Do not blame yourself, Eudora." I said. _

_I scooped our daughter up into my arms, and for the first time in a long time felt like we were finally together as a family._

"_You tried to save me, Erik." she said. "And I know you would have succeeded if not for that gypsy kidnapping you. I don't want things between us to be how they've been I want them to be even better. I think I'm ready to start accepting you as my papa, but….."_

_She paused, and Erik gently touched her small hand._

"_Eudora, what is it?"_

_My daughter sighed, and pointed towards Erik's mask._

"_I don't know you fully. My whole life, I've known you as a masked man. If I'm going to accept you as my papa, then I want to know what my papa looks like. I can't go on calling you my father without knowing who you really are."_

_Erik touched his mask, and pressed his eyes shut, knowing what the removal of his mask would do. _

"_Eudora, you don't need to see it." I said, tilting her face towards me. "It's not an easy thing to look at. He's unfinished, and…..it's not a pretty sight. It would frighten you."_

"_Did it frighten you?" she asked me, her eyes staring into my own, desperate for an answer._

_I could only nod._

"_But you look at it all the time." she argued. "It must have not of scared you that much."_

"_Your mother was surprised. Not in a good way, but she was indeed frightened. I believe she was more frightened over my anger towards her taking off my mask, rather than what lied beneath it." Erik slowly explained._

"_But as time went on, I learned Erik's heart, and loved the man, behind the mask." I continued. "I am one of the very few people who had ever seen it."_

"_But if you can look past his face and love, then I know I can too." _

_Eudora's heart was in the right place, but I knew if she screamed at Erik's face his heart would surely break. _

"_Your papa's face is very private. Sort of like making love….he only shares it with someone he loves."_

"_Christine, please." Erik cringed. "You've done enough damage."_

"_If that's the truth, then he can show it to me. He does love me, doesn't he?"_

_I shouldn't have said what I did, for now Erik was wrapped into showing off his face. For if he didn't, Eudora would think he hated her. _

"_Ok…" were his final words before his hands moved up to peel away the article. My heart was pounding a mile a minute as I watched this entire thing play out. Along with his mask also came his wig. I closed my eyes waiting for Eudora's scream to come, but it never did. She sat there looking at Erik's deformity in astonishment. She didn't scream, nor did she run away. There was a small gasp upon seeing his face for the first time, but that was to be expected. _

"_Are you….are you not scared?" Erik painfully questioned._

"_No. Mother said you were unfinished, and I believed her."_

"_Surely you must find me disgusting."_

_Eudora shook her tiny head, and reached up to touch his malformed cheek. _

"_It's not pretty, but it's not horrible either. You're my papa….I'd still love you if you didn't have a face at all."_

_Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks as I watched Eudora hug Erik for the first time. Tears were also flowing down his own, as I too joined into the hug. Erik seemed frightened over this feeling, but there was no way I was letting it end so early. We were finally a family, and together at last…_

* * *

**Getting happier! Please review. Love You all…**


	53. Chapter 53

"_Oh Christine, My Christine_

_Yes you fled from my face once before_

_But Christine, what we shared even you can't ignore…"-_ Excerption from the diary of Erik.

**Erik's POV**

_Over the next few days, I laid in bed trying to get better. When my new braces finally came in, Christine hooked them to my legs and tried to help me walk. I was still itchy when it came to others touching me, but it gradually began to pass. Though, I was still recovering, I wanted to do something nice for Christine. I knew she wanted to marry me, and so I decided to make that my next task. It was extremely hard for me to get back into working, but what else was I to do? Tasks needed to be completed and unfortunately I was the owner. Because of my frightened attitude, Christine had not slept with me, which for a while was perfectly fine, but I began missing it. Though, I know she would have joined me if I asked, but I was afraid of hurting her and not even knowing it. _

_One morning I was laying there staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Deciding to get up, I reached over for my braces and locked my legs into them. Afterwards, I stood up from bed and latched onto the wall to help me walk across the room to get to my desk. It took a while for me to be able to stand again, but with Christine's patience and help, I was able to do it. Walking on the other hand was something that was going to take time. When I made it to my desk, I took a seat and began working on sketches for a casino I wanted to build on the other side of the park. _

_I had finished sketching it, and was about to add some color to my drawing when I felt a hand touch my shoulder. The instant feeling caused my body to flinch and drop my pencils. _

"_I'm sorry…"_

_I turned to spot Christine apologizing to me over and over again. She was dressed in her robe, and by the disheveled style of her hair it was obvious that she just woke up. _

"_Christine, it's my fault. I shouldn't have flinched."_

"_And I shouldn't have touched you."_

"_You have every right to touch me."_

"_What are you doing out of bed?" she asked. "And how did you get out on your own?"_

_I turned back to my drawing, and picked up my pencils._

"_I have my ways."_

_She pressed a kiss to my neck, and smiled._

"_Really….Well then, why don't you come out into the kitchen and get to making breakfast."_

"_I'd rather not." I teased. "It might take me hours to get to the kitchen."_

"_Right, I'm sure it would. I guess I'll make it."_

"_I feel terrible for you having to sleep on that couch." I said switching the subject._

"_Erik, it's fine, really….Besides, you need the bed more than I do."_

"_Are you afraid of me, Christine?"_

_Christine spun me around, and placed her lips against my own._

"_Erik, never…."_

"_Come back to bed with me. I miss you so much, Christine. Your Erik would behave himself….or at least try to do no harm by you."_

"_I miss you too, Erik."_

"_Does that mean you'll sleep beside me again?"_

"_Of course."_

_When Christine left to make breakfast, I flipped my pages and began to jot down notes, notes and ideas about my wedding, our wedding, the one I would give to Christine. I wanted to marry her, and so I would. Yes, people still talked about how horrible I was throughout Phantasma, but I no longer cared, I was going to marry the woman I loved. I would make this wedding a surprise, one that she and I would remember for the rest of our days. Let them call me a rapist, and a monster…Christine loved me and that's all that mattered. _

_A little while later, Christine came walking into my room and helped me into my robe. Afterwards, she lifted me up to my feet and helped me to the kitchen where Eudora and Dimitri were already sat. _

"_Morning, papa." _

_Oh, hearing that wonderful phrase instantly warmed my heart. It felt wonderful not having to wear my mask around the flat anymore. _

"_Morning, little one." _

_Then I looked at the boy. As much as I hated the fact of him living with us, I knew I needed to get used to it, because he was most likely going to be staying for an extremely long time. I didn't know why I disliked him, but maybe it was the fact that he looked exactly like me….without the facial deformity of course. Though, he was quiet, and hardly ever said a word, which was comforting. _

"_How are you feeling today, papa?"_

"_Alright, I guess." I replied, sipping on my juice Christine had sat down in front of me. "Better than yesterday."_

_Having Eudora treat me like a father felt wonderful. Breakfast was the best one ever due to the fact that it felt wonderful to be called by "Papa" and not Erik. When breakfast was over, I was helped back to my room where I continued jotting down my ideas for our wedding. But there was one problem, how was I supposed to get everything together with the condition I was in? I couldn't….And I knew if Christine saw me leaving the flat she would most likely stop me or follow me, which would ruin the surprise. I wanted to marry her in the chapel I had built years ago, the same one she and I married in before the eyes of God. I wanted everything to be perfect, roses lining every inch of the chapel, a beautiful gown, a service, I wanted everything. _

_But first, I needed a date. I needed time to get myself back in shape, and able to walk down the isle on my own. It was already the middle of summer. I knew if I worked at it, I'd be able to be married within a few weeks. I chose the date of August 15__th__, and began writing a letter to Mr. Squelch. He was my most trusted employee, and I knew he would get everything ready by that date. I sealed the letter explaining everything I wanted, and called Eudora into my room. _

"_Yes, Papa?" _

_She poked her head into the room, and smiled widely._

"_I need you to take this letter to Mr. Squelch."_

"_Really?" she gasped in excitement. "What's inside it?"_

"_Nothing." I told her. "Just take this to Mr. Squelch and don't stop until you give this to him."_

_I handed her the sealed letter, and she kissed my malformed face; something that stopped my heart and instantly warmed it all at the same time. _

"_Yes, papa. I'll see you later on."_

"_Yes, little one."_

"_I love you."_

_I paused, and watched her approach the door._

_I smiled._

"_I love…I love you too."_

_And with that, she left. _

**Eudora's POV**

_I skipped through the crowded streets of Phantasma as Dimitri came running after me. He had been taking an extra long time with getting dressed, so I left without him. _

"_Eudora…wait up."_

_I stopped, and turned to wait for him. When he finally caught up to me, I realized that he was still trying to finish dressing himself. _

"_You left without me."_

"_You were taking too long." I said buttoning his shirt for him. "Papa wanted me to take this letter to his employee, Mr. Squelch."_

_He eyed the letter in my hand, and reached for it, but I pulled away. _

"_What are you doing?"_

"_I want to see it."_

"_Papa said I'm not supposed to stop until I give it to Mr. Squelch."_

"_But what if it's a map, like in the story you read me?" he gasped. "The one about Black Beard?"_

_I laughed._

"_Dimitri, that's only a story. Things like that don't really happen."_

"_But what if your papa really buried a treasure in Phantasma and that's the map?"_

_I rolled my eyes._

"_Dimitri…..I really need to stop reading you stories. They're going to your head."_

"_But what if it's true….please open it."_

"_No…."_

"_Please, Eudora."_

_I knew Dimitri wasn't going to give up until I did it, so I stopped near Nathan's hotdogs to open the letter._

"_Just a peek." I assured. "Only to prove that it's not a treasure map."_

_I went against my father's will and opened the envelope just enough to pull out the folded letter. I unfolded it, and looked down at my father's scratchy handwriting. As I read it, my eyes widened. No, this wasn't a treasure map, it was a letter with a list of instructions, instructions that were to be followed, instructions for my papa's marriage to my mother! My papa was going to marry my mother!_

"_So what's it say?" Dimitri asked, trying to look at the letter._

"_It's not a treasure map, Dimitri, it's a list of instructions for my mother's wedding."_

"_Wedding?" he curiously questioned._

"_Yes, my papa is throwing my mother a secret wedding."_

"_What's a wedding?"_

_I folded the letter into my pocket, and pulled Dimitri along._

"_Come, I'll show you."_

"_Where are we going?"_

"_To the chapel." _

_I raced all the way to the beautiful chapel that mother loved so much. She often took me when ever she went to pray for my grandfather. She always bragged about how badly she wanted to be married in it, and I was excited to know that she would. _

"_What's this place?"_

"_A chapel." I said, pulling Dimitri past it's whitewashed doors. "My papa built it for people to be married in."_

"_You're still talking about this marriage thingy. What does it mean?"_

_Dimitri was so innocent that he didn't know about most things. Explaining them to him was even harder so I always tried used examples from the books I read him. _

"_Well, do you remember the story I read to you a while ago? The one about Cinderella?"_

_He nodded._

"_Yes, the one about the glass slipper and the ugly step sisters." _

"_Right. So do you remember the part about living happily ever after?"_

_Once again he nodded._

"_Well, that's what happens when you get married. You live happily ever after."_

"_If your mother is going to live happily ever after, then why didn't we see her step sisters? And how come your papa didn't try to fit the glass slipper on her foot?"_

_I giggled._

"_Dimitri, you're confusing yourself again. Happily ever after is marriage. I was only using the story as an example."_

"_So how exactly does one live happily ever after?"_

"_I'll show you."_

_I gently pushed him towards the alter, as I stayed back towards the doors. _

"_Go and stand at the alter. You'll be the groom?"_

"_The broom?"_

_Once again I giggled at Dimitri's innocence._

"_No, silly, the groom…..also known as the husband or in your case, the prince from the book."_

"_Ohhhh….ok…"_

_When Dimitri was standing at the alter, I began slowly walking down the isle._

"_I'm the wife, or the princess….She'll walk down the isle and people will stand."_

"_Then what?"_

_When I was at the alter, I took Dimitri's hands in my own._

"_We join hands and the ceremony starts. Someone will be up here to help us recite our vows."_

"_Vows?"_

"_Yes, It's another word for keeping a promise."_

"_What promise?"_

"_That I Eudora, take Dimitri to be his loving wife through sickness and in health until death do we part."_

"_You do?"_

"_No, not really, but that's what my mother would say…."_

"_To me?"_

"_No, to my papa…."_

"_Well, then what should I say?"_

"_The same thing I just said."_

"_Can I try?"_

_I nodded, and Dimitri cleared his throat before trying._

"_I Eudora take…."_

"_No, no, no…." I laughed. "With your name."_

"_Oh….I Dimitri, take Eudora to be her loving prince through sickness and in health until death do we part."_

"_Good…."_

"_And then what happens?"_

"_The man pronounces us prince and princess, and then you get to kiss the bride."_

"_What? Ewww….Kiss?"_

"_Yes….kissing is how you know you really love someone."_

_I was about to break hands with Dimitri, when all of a sudden, his lips pressed against my own for a quick kiss. It was wet, and sort of gross, but I kind of liked it. We instantly broke away, and looked at each other, too embarrassed to say a word of what just happened. _

"_Um….race you to the arcade to find Mr. Squelch." I replied._

"_Ok, let's go."_

_And as we raced, I could only wonder if that's what love really felt like?_

**Erik's POV**

_I worked on my casino all day long, drawing sketches of the inside, coloring every detail the way it was meant to. Christine had left me alone mostly, never bothering me for a single second. It wasn't that I didn't like being undisturbed, it was just that…..I missed her. _

"_Christine?" I called her name, deciding to take a break due to my hand cramping from how much I had sketched out. _

"_Yes, Erik?" she poked her head into the room, with an open book in hand. _

"_Could you open the window, please? It's a bit stuffy in here?"_

"_Yes, of course." she bounced over to the window, and opened it, letting the warm breeze flow inside. But Christ, I was treating her like my slave. _

"_How's your work coming along?" she asked._

"_Um, just fine."_

_I was actually feeling cramped, and my bottom was beginning to get a little sore. It had been sore ever since Jefro…..I stopped, dreading the thought of the horrible memories. _

"_Erik, are you ok?"_

"_I'm a little sore." I confessed._

"_Would you like to lay down for a while? The doctor said you should nap at least twice a day."_

_A nap did seem nice, but only if Christine would do it with me. _

"_Would you lay with me?"_

_She gently lifted me out of my chair._

"_Anything for you, mon ange."_

_When I was placed in bed, Christine unlocked the braces from around my legs, and placed them aside. It felt wonderful being free from the contraptions, and she even massaged my legs._

"_Is that where you're sore?" she asked._

"_A little."_

"_Where else?"_

"_Everywhere."_

_I closed my eyes to relax myself, only to feel Christine's lips gliding across my collar bone. It felt so wonderful, so wonderful that I even groaned. It had been so long since I last experienced such a feeling. But when I felt her begin to suck at my neck, I gasped loudly, and clutched the bed sheets within my fist._

"_Christine…..oh, mon ange…."_

"_I've missed you so much." she gasped in between kisses. "I've wanted you for so long."_

_I laid there completely helpless and in such bliss. Her hands wandered around my body, caressing my chest and neck ever so lovingly as her kisses became more fierce._

"_Make love to me, Erik."_

_Her plead for me to make love to her burned throughout my body. Yes! Yes I wanted to make love to her, but I was afraid….afraid the feeling of her body against my own in such a way would set me off into a violent fit. I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I hurt her. My angel was already unfastening her dress, as if I had agreed. She didn't know the abuse that came my way the whole time I was with Jefro. But how could I tell her? I sat up, and gently clasped her hands within my own to stop her from undressing. Her chest was heaving a mile a minute, so anxious for us to become one again. _

"_Christine, please, don't be in such a rush."_

"_But I am, Erik. I want to make love to you again. We both need this."_

"_I know, Christine, but I'm afraid."_

_She cupped my cheek._

"_Of what?"_

"_Hurting you. I don't want to be set off and strangle you or…..oh, God, it's horrible."_

"_I'll be gentle and slow with you, Erik. You've been through a lot, and I promise not to make you uncomfortable."_

_She then laid down, and pulled me on top of her. She teased me by pulling the remainder of her gown down inch by inch. I kissed her chest, letting the joyous feeling of tasting her body return to me. _

"_Erik…."_

_I felt her fingers prying away my robe, exposing my back for her hands to roam upon. I felt her fingers tracing the lumpy scars scattered throughout my hideous body. It had been a year since I've had a release, and her beautiful body was making it hard for me to stand it any longer. Her hands were now working on my trousers, pulling them down with all her force, making me kiss her neck like a rabid animal. When I felt Christine's fingers clasp around my member, I sighed so loudly that it caused Christine to do the same._

"_Oh, Christine….you're driving your Erik mad."_

"_Then I shall have to take care of that." she teased, flipping me over onto my back. My chest was heaving as she discarded her dress and climbed up onto my body, aligning her self with me. Then slowly, inch by inch, she lowered herself onto my hardened member. I arched my hips against her own, causing her to become completely sheathed over me. Our hips moved against one another's as our hearts pounded to create a symphony. Just the image of her riding me was enough to drive me completely wild. I was already so close to finishing, but didn't want it to end this way. I flipped her over onto her back, and thrust into her with all my might causing her to call out my name._

"_Erik…..Yes…..Don't stop…."_

"_I don't intend to." I gasped, kissing her ear. _

_Christine had finished before me, causing my climax to occur straight after. We lay there still connected, our hearts pounding against each others._

"_Erik?" _

_I placed my face into her soft curls, and sighed._

"_Yes, Christine?" _

"_You were breathtaking."_

_I smiled._

"_Yes, I know….I myself am finding it hard to breathe."_

"_Erik…." Christine giggled, and kissed my bare shoulder. I then fell asleep, with Christine laying beside me. I still had a lot of work to do on getting better before the wedding, but for now, I was exhausted. When I woke from my nap, Christine was gone, but Eudora was sitting at my desk doing god knows what! When I sat up, I noticed that I was naked beneath the covers. _

"_Hi, papa…."_

_I pulled the blankets up to my neck to try and cover myself from my daughter. _

"_Where is your mother?"_

"_She and Dimitri went out for some groceries."_

_When I tried to reach for my robe that was scattered around the floor, Eudora handed it to me. _

"_Thank You."_

_I wrapped it around me, and began locking my bare legs into my braces. _

"_Mother said you're supposed to stay in bed." _

"_Well, I have to go to the bathroom."_

_I grasped the bed frame, and used the wall to help me to the bathroom. _

"_You're very wobbly." she observed. "How are you ever going to walk down the isle with mother?"_

_This stopped my heart. I should have known she would open the letter! But I trusted her!_

"_Ooops…"_

_I turned to face my daughter, and crossed my arms. _

"_It was Dimitri's idea." she blurted out. "He thought it was a treasure map."_

"_Eudora, I told you not to read it."_

"_Sorry, papa….really…"_

"_Does your mother know?" I growled. _

"_No! I swear! I didn't tell her!"_

"_And the boy?"_

"_He didn't either. I promise to keep it a secret."_

"_It better stay that way. I don't need your mother knowing."_

"_Knowing what?" came a familiar voice._

_I popped my head up to see Christine walking inside with a curious smile across her face. _

"_Um…..that I'm up and about." I lied. _

"_And why are you up?" she questioned._

"_Papa had to go to the bathroom." Eudora told her. _

_Christine approached me, and grasped hold to my arm to help me into the bathroom. _

"_You shouldn't be up, Erik."_

"_I had to piss, Christine."_

_When I was in front of the toilet, Christine turned her back to give me my privacy. _

"_I would have expected to wake up with you beside me." _

"_I needed to go to the bazaar to buy some vegetables for the stew I wanted to make for dinner."_

_And while Christine was busy with dinner, I sat at my desk, working on the wedding I would soon give the love of my life…The hardest part was going to be keeping Eudora quiet…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, please review! Oh, and if you haven't already, check out my new story "Cloaked Under the Night." Some of you have already tuned into that one. Thanks! I shall be updating that one as soon as this one comes to a close, which isn't much longer.**


	54. Chapter 54

"_At last my love has come along_

_My lonely days are gone_

_And life is like a song…."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Christine Daae.

**Christine's POV**

_For the next few days, I found Erik acting strange. I would be cleaning or cooking and all of a sudden hear a loud bang, only to rush to Erik's bedroom and find him on the floor. When I would ask what he was doing, he would reply with a simple "Fell out of bed."_

_For the first few times I believed it, but when it continued happening, I knew he was up to something more. And then one morning, I found him completely gone. He wasn't supposed to be out and about, and yet, he was. It was such a scary thing, because he could hardly walk!_

_My heart raced for what seemed like hours, until he returned. I stood there in the main room, watching him walk right through the door as if he wasn't injured at all. _

"_Where have you been?" I snapped. "You're not supposed to be out!"_

_He seemed taken by surprise when he saw me standing there._

"_Christine….."_

"_Yes, Erik. Where have you been?"_

"_I…I stepped out."_

"_You're walking? How?"_

_He looked down at his legs, and then back at me. _

"_I've been practicing."_

"_So you lied to me? All the times I seen you on the floor…..you were really practicing."_

_He paused, and then nodded. _

_Why? Why was it so important for him to walk again so quickly?_

"_Christine…..you'll soon see. Really, I didn't mean to lie to you."_

"_What are you talking about."_

_Erik came forward, and kissed my neck ever so gently._

"_Forget about today, Christine, please. You'll find out why I was gone tomorrow."_

_I didn't understand what was going on, but I didn't pressure him to tell me. I got the idea in my head that he was probably working on his new casino and nothing more. If that was the truth, then I was really going to be mad at him, but I decided to wait. That night, I laid in bed, sleeping beside Erik, wondering why he had left the flat today? When the grandfather clock struck midnight, I was going to roll over and ask him, but when I realized he was fast asleep, I decided not to. I fell asleep that night, curled up beside my angel beneath the covers. I thought I would have waken beside him the following morning, but when I opened my eyes upon the first morning's light, his spot was empty. _

_I sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, to spot thousands of red rose petals scattered throughout the bed and the floor. I smiled, and rose from my bed to follow where the led. They led a path all the way to the wardrobe closet, so I opened it. As soon as the doors opened, there before my own very eyes was a beautiful wedding gown with sequence covering every inch of it. Had this been the reason why Erik had gone out yesterday?_

"_It's….it's beautiful." I gasped._

"_So you like it then?"_

_The moment I heard Erik's voice, I spun around and spotted him standing there behind me. _

"_Erik, I love it….but….I don't understand."_

_He cupped my cheek, and smiled._

"_Marry me, Christine."_

_I glided my hand up to the chain that was around my neck and grasped hold of the wedding ring that was dangling from it. _

"_You really mean it, Erik?"_

_He nodded._

"_I do."_

_The words made me so happy, so happy that I wrapped my arms around his neck to kiss him. _

"_When Erik?"_

"_Now."_

_This had taken me by surprise. Now? What did he mean by that?_

"_What?"_

_He pressed a kiss to my lips, and smiled._

"_That's my surprise, Christine. I've been planning this for a while. Everyone is already waiting for us in the chapel."_

"_The chapel?" I gasped. "Really?"_

"_Yes, mon ange."_

_I tore myself away from his arms in such excitement and began placing on my wedding gown. I was so excited! I was going to be Erik's wife! I hummed a happy tune as I fixed my hair in the vanity mirror, watching Erik change into his tux in the background. _

_When I was finally dressed and ready to go, I turned to Erik only to have him smile in approval. _

"_You, Christine look absolutely breathtaking."_

"_So do you."_

_He was dressed in his tuxedo, mask and wig in tact. As handsome as he looked, there was something I wanted to do, something I needed to do. _

"_Erik, you look very handsome, but…..there is one thing."_

"_Name it."_

"_You can wear your wig and mask while we walk to the chapel, but when we're being married, I want to marry you without the mask."_

_He pressed his eyes shut, and turned away._

"_I would, if it was just the both of us before the eyes of God, but…..all my employees are going to be there, Christine."_

"_It's what I want."_

"_Ok, but….only for the kiss."_

"_Ok, Erik, only for the kiss."_

_It was then that Erik took out his pocket watch and looked at the time. _

"_We're going to be late, love. Come, let us be married."_

_I was never so happy as he and I made our way to the chapel in Phantasma. As we got closer, I could hear beautiful music being played, only to realize that it was coming from the chapel. When we arrived, everybody stood, as Erik walked to the alter where the priest was standing. Everything was like a dream…..When I felt a tug at my dress, I looked down to spot my daughter dressed in a gown similar to mine. In her hands, she had a basket of rose petals. She looked absolutely beautiful….my Erik had made her the flower girl._

"_You look beautiful, Eudora."_

"_Thank you, mother. So do you."_

_When the music started playing, Eudora began walking down the isle, throwing the rose petals as I followed behind her. Everyone was here, including Meg. When I reached the alter, the priest joined our hands together and motioned everyone to be seated. _

"_Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bring these two lovers Mister E, and Christina Mulheim together as husband and wife."_

_When the priest said Erik's made up name, I smiled and rolled my eyes at such a statement. _

"_I have been told that Mister E would like to say his own vows. Is that true, monsieur?"_

"_It is." was Erik's simple reply._

_The priest then took a step back, and Erik pressed a kiss to my hands. _

"_Christina, I've loved you since the first time I've laid eyes on your beautiful soul. I want to spend the rest of my life making up for all the mistakes I've ever made. You're making me the happiest man alive, my love."_

"_I love you too." I said, with tears in my eyes. _

_The priest then came forward again, and placed his hands over ours. Then, from beside me, Dimitri handed me Erik's wedding ring. It was silver, with roses engraved into it's metal. _

"_Now repeat after me." said the priest. "I Christina."_

_I looked into Erik's eyes, and smiled._

"_I Christina."_

"_Take Mister E to my wedded husband."_

"_Take Mister E to be my wedded husband."_

"_Through sickness and in health."_

_Once again I smiled._

"_Through sickness and in health."_

"_Until death do us part."_

_I slid the ring onto his left finger, and said the last line._

"_Until death do us part."_

_Erik then reached for my necklace, and took it off me to remove the ring. _

"_Now repeat after me." said the priest. "I Mister E."_

"_I, Mister E."_

"_Take Christina."_

"_Take Christina."_

"_To be my wedded wife."_

"_To be my wedded wife."_

"_Through sickness and in health."_

"_Through sickness and in health."_

"_Until death do us part."_

"_Until death do us part."_

_He then slid the ring onto my left ring finger. _

"_I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride."_

_Erik and I were married! We were finally married! I cupped my husband's cheek, and peeled away the mask, revealing his malformed face. Erik waited for the people in the crowd to gasp, but that gasp never came, and I kissed my husband for the first time as his wife. When we broke away, everyone clapped, and Erik led me down the isle. _

"_Where are we going now?" I asked._

"_To our reception, my love."_

_This day was turning out completely perfect! First I got married and now I was to have a reception too! Erik lead me all the way to the opera house ball room which was decorated in the most elegant streamers and decorations I had ever seen. _

"_Do you like it, my love?" he asked._

_I turned, and pressed a kiss to his lips._

"_I love it, Erik."_

_Once everyone was inside, the band began playing, and the two of us shared our first dance as husband and wife. He spun me around as I laughed within his arms. When Erik saw Eudora standing there with Dimitri, he broke away from me, and began dancing with her. I laughed, and scooped Dimitri up into my arms to dance with him._

"_Spin me, papa." Eudora pleaded, giggling in his arms. _

"_Spin you?" he teased. "Of course."_

_When Eudora was spun around, Dimitri wanted me to do the same._

"_Faster." the boy giggled. "Faster…"_

_Erik then joined Eudora and Dimitri together to dance so he could rejoin himself with me. _

"_Erik, this is the best day ever." I sighed into his shoulder, closing my eyes as we continued to dance. _

"_Indeed. I've wanted to give you this for a long time. Marrying you is all I've thought about since we've first made love."_

"_Which is what we shall be doing tonight." I teased._

"_Don't tease me, Christine." he growled into my ear._

"_Why not? You're my husband now. I have a right to tease you."_

"_Because, my dear. I may have to pull you away from this wedding to start our wedding night now."_

_This had turned me on, but before I could say another word, his lips touched my own. _

"_Christine."_

_I heard my name being called, to turn and see Meg standing there dressed in a beautiful red gown. _

"_Meg."_

"_Sorry to break up such a tender moment." she began. "I just wanted to come over and congratulate you both."_

"_Thanks Meg." I replied._

"_Yes…" Erik agreed. "Thank you." _

_I hugged Meg, and she pulled me away from Erik and over to a crowd of his women employees._

"_Come on, Christine." Meg giggled. "Toss your bouquet of flowers."_

"_Ok everyone."_

_I turned my back, and counted to three before throwing my bouquet of roses up into the air. I heard the crowd of women moving about and laughing as they tried to catch my bouquet. When I turned around again to see who caught it, it was Eudora who had done so. Everyone was laughing, as Eudora stood there smelling the roses she had caught. _

"_Eudora caught the roses?" came Erik's voice. _

_He was now standing beside me, watching our daughter dance around with Dimitri. _

"_Calm down, Erik, it's only a myth." _

"_I sure hope so."_

"_Erik…."_

"_She's only five, Christine. I'll curse what ever boy comes knocking at our door for her hand in marriage."_

"_Erik, be nice."_

"_She can't marry just anyone, Christine. He has to be the best man in the world."_

"_What?" I laughed. "Like you?"_

"_I'm a complete gentleman, Christine."_

_I smiled._

"_That you are."_

"_Mother, mother! I caught the flowers!" my daughter exclaimed running towards me. _

_I scooped her up into my arms, and placed one of the roses into her hair. _

"_I know, love. And you were a wonderful flower girl."_

_She then turned to Erik._

"_Papa, was I a good flower girl?"_

_He kissed her cheek._

"_The most beautiful flower girl in the world, Eudora."_

"_I love you, papa…."_

_I placed her down on the floor, and Erik patted her on the head._

"_Me too, little one, me too."_

_Our wedding cake was absolutely breathtaking. It had four layers, with the chapel ornament I had made Erik sitting on top. His hand placed itself over my own, and we both cut the first slice. As we stood there eating our cake, I got the idea of smashing some into Erik's face, and turned to do it. When the white icing made contact with his mask, I laughed so hard that I almost fell over. It wasn't long, before he too tried to smash cake into my face, missing and getting it into my curls. _

_When Dimitri saw this, he too took his cake and smashed it into Eudora's face. My wedding was the best day of my life, and our wedding night was even better. Dr. Gangle had taken Eudora and Dimitri for the night so Erik and I could have the time alone a groom and bride need. We were both tired and tipsy by the time our wedding was over, and stumbled over one another as we entered our flat. Once the door was closed behind us, Erik embraced me for the most passionate kiss I had ever shared with him. We stumbled back towards the bedroom, and both landed on our bed. _

_He kissed every part of me that was exposed from the dress. He kissed my neck, my collarbone, my cheeks, my ears, and my shoulders. I groaned his name as his fingers wrapped behind my back to undo the laces of the beautiful dress I had married him in, as I began to pull the pieces of his tuxedo apart. Once my dress was pulled off, Erik carefully placed it on a bedside chair, and kissed my stomach and chest. Waves of pleasure overtook my body as we both touched one another in places which made us weak. _

_When we could no longer take being apart, Erik joined us as one, thrusting into my body to fulfill the pleasure we had both been lusting for. _

"_Erik…." I called his name, digging my lips into his shoulder as he thrust deep into my body. I kissed his distorted face lovingly, as if there wasn't anything wrong with it at all. When we finished, we laid within each other's arms, laughing and catching our breaths until we were ready to make love again. I lost count on how many times we made love that night, for when we finally couldn't take another moment of bliss, we passed out within each other's arms. _

_The following morning, I woke to find Erik walking into the room carrying a tray filled with pancakes and toast. I smiled, and brushed the disheveled curls out of my face. _

"_Good morning, my love." Erik cooed, placing the tray down into my lap. _

"_Morning, my husband. I see you've made breakfast?"_

_He nodded, and plopped down beside me. _

"_I thought you'd have an appetite after such a wonderful night."_

_I smiled devilishly, recalling the breathtaking hours I had spent making love to Erik. _

"_Yes." I giggled. "I believe I've used all of my energy."_

_Erik leaned in to kiss me, before cutting the hefty stack of pancakes._

"_I think you're right, Christine. You did things last night I thought nearly impossible."_

"_I'm glad you're satisfied then, my love."_

"_Satisfied?" he teased. "I'm blown away."_

_I didn't care about the past, for that was behind us. Today was the first day of our new life. I was Mrs. Erik Mulheim, and nothing could have made me happier. Who knew what tomorrow would bring, but one thing was for sure, we would get through it together…..Together at last…._

* * *

**Ok everyone, only one more chapter left…..and I'm excited for it! Please review and I will have the next chapter up as soon as possible! Oh, and please tune into my newest story "Cloaked Under the Night." It's my newest and next project once this is done! Thanks! **


	55. Epilogue

"_When I see you in the morning it brightens up my day_

_There are so many thoughts on my mind_

_So many words I wish to say_

_I want to tell you how I feel_

_But the words I cannot find_

_They are all mixed up with my thoughts_

_That are running through my mind._

_Happy together_

_Happy at last_

_I shall never stray from home again_

_Or give you another nasty glance."- _Excerption straight from the diary of Eudora Mulheim.

**Eudora's POV**

My family was together at last. We were finally one big happy family, and my life couldn't get any better than that. After my parent's wedding, my life began to pass me before my own very eyes. Before I knew it, I was a grown woman, performing on stage as one of the finest ballerinas the New York stage had ever seen. I don't know how I came across the interest, but when I turned ten, I found dancing more fun than anything else. My mother taught me almost everything, and when the time was right, my papa got me an audition on the theater side of New York. I started off in small dancing roles, but soon, I had become the A-one ballerina.

Due to my job being so far away from Phantasma, I had gotten my own place close to the theater I worked for. But I was not alone, I had Dimitri with me. After my mother's marriage, she had tried for more children, but never succeeded. And as the years passed, my papa had come to start liking Dimitri. Because I hadn't a brother to take over for him, my papa had named Dimitri the heir to Phantasma when ever he stepped down as owner.

During the afternoon hours, I would go off to my dancing job, while Dimitri went to be an apprentice for my papa. We had grown up as dear friends, but in the end we had become lovers. One night, I came out of the theater to walk home, and the handsome boy was standing there holding a dozen roses and he got down to one knee. He proposed to me, and when I said "Yes" he slipped a beautiful ring onto my finger.

My mother was excited when she heard the news, and even my papa seemed happy about it. Before I knew it, it was the day of my wedding. I was sitting in my dressing room of the church Dimitri and I had wanted to be married in. I was brushing my hair, when the door opened and my papa entered. He was getting up in his years, and he might have looked older, but his soul hadn't changed a bit.

"You look just like your mother, on the day she and I wed." he happily replied.

I placed my brush down, and blushed at his comment.

"Papa, don't embarrass me."

"You look beautiful, darling."

I stood up in my wedding gown to embrace him, and he did the same.

"Just know, Eudora, that what ever happens in the future, you are and always will be my daughter. And I am proud of you."

"I love you."

"Come, it's time to be married."

He extended his arm to me, and I accepted. My papa walked me down the isle, and happily gave me away to Dimitri. Once I was married, my life was finally complete, and even as the years past, nothing between our family changed. My eight children visited their grandparents and Phantasma on a regular basis, and most of the time my papa could be seen swinging my children by his arm as he happily strolled through the park with his grandchildren. I knew someday, they too would grow up to take over the park. We were one big family, and there was nothing that could ever break us apart…..the worst was over, and the future was bright and wonderful…

* * *

**Ok that was an epilogue sort of thing. No deaths, no injuries, just one big happy ending! I'd like to thank all my reviewers for the time they put into commenting and giving me tips. Thanks again, and I hope to be seeing you over on my other story "Cloaked Under the Night." **


End file.
